Chapter 19 - This has to be what heaven feels like... yet something is missing...

I found a small appartment near Phoenix park. It was slightly out of the way from the club, but it was close to nature and afforded me the abbility to get away to hunt undetected by other humans. Th epark was suusally deserted during the night.
I simply ran through the city back alleys or rooftops when I was due to work, until I got close and went back to the street to walk the last bit of the way liek any other human would. It was an easy charade to pull off.

The club paid well. The customers really loved the shows and the other bartenders were glad I had joined the team. At first I'd thought they might be threatened by me, but after one night together, just like with Aaron, they fell for my charms and I easily slid into their group. There were three other bartenders, excluding Aaron and they were all friends outside of work. I was quickly invited to hang out with them and I was surprised by how easy it all was. There was no animosity, no vying for attention or glory, no strife... I hadn't felt this relaxed ever.

By day three of working at the club I had almost managed to forget I was a vampire that was on the run from two dangerous covens that might want me dead. The change in my appearance apparantly muted my inherent predator. People were no longer insitinctively afraid of me. Aaron especailly seemed to not be able to get enough off me.

I admit I liked the attention. It was easy, like everything else with Aaron. there were no strings attached to anything he said. He did not play games with me and I wasn't a pawn to him. Of course his Irish brogue didn't exactly harm him either. We had worked together tonight as well and were enjoying an after work drink together.

'So, are you still in the hostel?' Aaron asked, after taking a swig of his beer.

I shook my head. 'I managed to find something.'

His eyes shot up and he looked at me. 'Really? That quick?'

I frowned at his reaction. 'Is that not normal around here?'

'No.' he shook his head. 'Sinead has been looking for six months but hasn't found anything.'

I frowned at that. 'Well, I took the first thing I saw. I have very low standards... perhaps that the difference?'

He shrugged for a moment. 'I think Sinead's standards have dropped pretty low by now too.' he chuckled to himself. 'She's living with her ex.'

'Oh.' I grimaced. 'That has to be uncomfortable.'

Aaron nodded. 'She hates it. Wants out as soon as possible.'

'I can imagine.' I sighed feeling slightly uncomfortable now. How did I get the appartment then? 'I'll keep my eyes open for anything.'

He nodded and smiled at me. Then he shifted in his seat uncomfortably for a moment.

'I was wondering.' he started.

'Yes?' I prompted when he didn't continue.

'Would you... would you like to perhaps... you know... hang out some time?'

'Hang out?' I echoed.

'Yea.. like a movie? Or dinner?'

I bit my lip for a moment. I knew Aaron was interested. He'd been blatant about it from the start. I wasn't sure about it though. I liked Aaron fine enough, but I wasn't sure if I was ready for this.

The silence lingered between us.

'Or... something else...' he said after a moment.

'I'm sorry.' I mumbled. 'I guess a movie sounds nice.'

His eyes lit up and he gave me a wide grin. 'Great! so tomorrow? That's your day off right?'

I nodded. 'Yeah. I can do tomorrow.'

'Great! So where do you live? I can pick you up at like seven?'

I shook my head. 'Let's meet at the Cinema.' I suggested instead. 'I have some errands to run tomorrow. It would just be a hassle to get back to my place first.'

He quickly nodded and we agreed to meet up in front of the movie theatre the next day at seven thrity. Aaron tried to get me to agree to dinner beforehand, but I quickly told him my errand would keep me busy until seven at least. I was not going to stuff human food down my throat for this boy. hat was absolutely not happening.

So I found myself in front of the theatre at seven the following day. I wrung my hands nervously as I waited outside. I eyed the clouds suspicously. It was getting less gray out it seemed and I could not be caught out in the sun in front of all these people. Thankfully the cloudcover held until Aaron showed up. He jogged across the street when he spotted me and waved enthusiastically. I waved back.

'Hi.' he said as he stopped next to me.

'Hi.' I replied smiling shyly at him. I felt like a girl on my first date. As I thought about that some more, I realized this actually was my first date. As a human I wasn't allowed to date by my father. And when Aro turned me I pretty much belonged to him for the first ten years of my new life. When I was out of favour there were no men that were interested in me and my lowly status and that only left my time with Edward... Edward...

I hadn't allowed myself to really think about Edward since I'd left the Cullens behind. It still hurt to think about him and the way he had used me. But there was something else that hurt too... He'd treated me badly, that much was true. but underneath it all I'd felt something else. Some pull towards me, and when we kissed I was sure he felt it too. It made me doubt everything about him. It made me doubt if he was truly sleeping with Tanya... And if Tanya was a spy for the Volturi... The words she'd said to me when I'd left.. they could all have been lies.

The entire situation had been strange and weird, but still I couldn't get Edward and the other Cullens out of my head.

'Which one do you want to see?' Aaron asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

'Oh, I don't know... Why don't you chose something?'

'What do you like? Action? Romance?' he asked, turning to head into the theatre.

'I'm not really sure, to be honest. I've never really watched a lot of movies. I've seen some classics...Singing in the rain, rebel without a cause...'

His eyebrows shot up in surprise at that. I hadn't been to the movies since the mid fifties, volterra hadn't really kept up to date and my time with the Cullens had been mostly filled with combat training, the free time I did have I spent mostly catching up with vapid reality tv that also got me up to date on popular culture.

'Those are pretty old... the sixties?'

'fifties' I corrected.

'Alright.. I don't think they're showing classics right now.' he said, looking up at the board that displayed the movies.

'That's okay, just pick anything. I'm quite easy.' I said, smiling at him.

He gaped at me with his mouth slightly opened and I groaned as I realized what I'd said. 'Shit. sorry. that came out wrong.'

Aaron laughed and shook his head.

'It's fine.' he said still smiling, before putting his arm around my shoulders. I froze. The familiar and easy manner in which he slung his arm around me shook me. I had never experienced anything like this. and with a human! that made it even more confusing. his warmth seemed to burn through my clothes and I feared for a second he could have hurt himself on my hard body.

'you're cold!' he exclaimed.

I scrambled to come up with a reason for it. 'Yeah, sorry. I stood outside for a while and I have bad circulation.'

'Let's get you warmed up then.' he said, chafing his hand over my upper arm and smiling at me. I smiled back, unsure what else to do.

We settled on a silly romantic comedy and headed into the theatre after buying some popcorn and drinks. I would have to pretend to eat and drink it seemed, but I figured with the darkness of the theatre it wouldn't be that difficult. We sat down in the plush seats about halfway up, the perfect seats, according to Aaron.

'So where are you from?' Aaron asked as the commercials were still rolling.

'The US.' I answered vaguely.

He grinned. 'I knew that already, but where exactly?'

'The eastcoast, New Hampshire.' I said. 'It's quite beuatiful, but nothing like Ireland.'

'I've never been to the US.' He mused. I shrugged.

'You're not missing much.' I said, lookign down at my hands. No my time in the Us had not been that great. Sure, it had been pretty enough, but Ireland was goregous too. And here I wasn't harrassed by other vampires constantly. So Ireland definitely won as far as I was concerned.

Thankfully the lights dimmed then and the previews started, making conversation impossible. I made sure to sip my drink and take some handfulls of popcorn, which I crumbled up and disappeared down my pockets. Aaron kept sneaking glances at me, and his heartrate had been steadily picking up over the course of the film. When the more romantic scenes came on, I could see his hand twitching on the armrest between me. I kept my hands tightly between my tighs. I knew he wanted to hold my hand, but I knew my hands would still be ice cold right now. But that somehow didn't deter Aaron. After another few romantic scenes his arm came around my shoulders and he smiled at me gently. I felt some pressure on my shoulder and realized he wanted me to scoot closer. I quickly did and put my shoulder carefully against his. He jumped a bit at the coldness that seeped from my skin to his.

'sorry' I mumbled.

He shrugged. 'It's fine.'

He placed himself closer to me still and I shifted slightly uncomfortably. His scents was just a nuiscance really, easily ignored, but I still felt uncomfortable with him this close to me. I just oculdn't put my finger on what exactly was making me this uncomfortable.

As the movie continued and the scenes became more romantic towards the end Aaron turned to me. He started leaning in and I subconsciously held my breath. Did I want to do this? But then his lips were on mine. The heat seared into me and I heard his gasp as his lips touched my cold ones. Isntead of being repulsed however, it seemed to turn him on. HIs breath came in a wild gasp and his heart beat erratically as his hold tightened on me. he moaned low in his throat and I wanted with every fibre in my being to feel the same. But I didn't and that realization was like a bucket of ice water dumped on me.

I couldn't help but compare his kiss to Edward's and I hated myself for it. His mouth was warm and moved with mine nicely, but there was no passion. no spark. I felt nothing except his warmth. I pulled away slowly, watching his lips twitch for a moment and his eyes slowly open.

'Wow.' he muttered.

'I'm sorry.'

'For what?' He whispered. The movie ended and the credits started to roll as the lights came on. He frowned as he could now clearly see me again.

'I really like you Aaron. But I'm just not ready for this.' I said softly.

He deflated instantly. 'Oh.' he muttered, releasing me instantly.

'I'm sorry.' I repeated. 'I just came out of a pretty messed up relationship.' I explained, biting my lip awkwardly. ' I really like you, though. you're fun and easy to hang out with.'

'thanks, I guess.' he muttered. 'For what it's worth. I really like you. And just... whenever you're ready... let me know, okay?'

I smiled at him and nodded. 'You'll be the first to know'

He grinned at me and then got to his feet. 'So are you working tomorrow?' he asked.

I smiled at the easy transition back into our comfortable chit chat as friends. I was glad he seemed to be able to shake it off that easily and I wondered what he was thinking. Perhaps he'd felt the same I'd felt? the lack of passion or spark? I got to my feet as well and together we walked out of the theatre again bantering easily until it was time to say goodbye again.

As he gave me a small wave before disappearing on the bus I smiled to myself. Though I definitely was not ready for dating, and perhaps dating a human would also be too complicated with my cold skin. But I was happy I'd finally made an actual friend. Someone to spend time with and simply enjoy myself with. I started walking back home again mulling everything that had happened over. I was certain I could be happy here. I could make friendships, I could have a life again.