AN

Back to BPOV for this chapter :)

Chapter 23 - I so don't want to do this... but I have to... I guess?

'Please.' Carlisle begged again. My mind whirled. Could I do this? Did I want to do this?

They claimed Edward had known he was my mate after all, and that he'd treated me like this to protect me. that was a load of bullshit though. You didn't hurt someone you loved. That was just a ridiculous excuse. He had hurt me and played with me, yes. But did that warrant leaving him in the hands of Aro? Of volterra's great torturers?

No it did not.

Did I want to risk my own life to go save him?

Also no.

But could I turn my back on him? Could I just go on with the knowledge I could have saved his life? Because I was certain it was only a matter of time before they killed him.

'If I do this, will you give me sanctuary in America without any strings attached?' I demanded.

Carlisle looked at Emmett and then at Jasper. 'Yes.' He said.

'You'll protect me from Volterra?' I double checked. 'wihtout forcing me to stay loyal to your son?'

Again he nodded. 'I know he hurt you deeply. We won't force you into anything.'

I closed my eyes and nodded once. 'Alright. I'll help you.'

Immediately Alice's eyes glazed over and Jasper grasped her elbow, guiding her to sit down on the couch.

'What's happening?' I asked.

'She's been focussing on Volterra, your decision triggered a vision.' Jasper explained calmly.

'What are all your gifts?' I asked eying the two of them for a moment. 'If I'm doing this, I don't want to go in blind. I want every bit of information you've kept from me all this time.'

Carlisle sat down as well. 'Jasper is an empath. He can sense and control emotions.'

'Did you use it on me?' I asked him immediately, thinking back to my time with them if I'd behaved differently or been manipulated.

He looked slightly uncomfortable but then nodded. 'I gave you some extra confidence a few times. That's all.'

'Confidence?'

'You were pretty shy and demure when you first came to us and I knew that if you remained that way, Tanya, and probably Edward too, would break you. I didn't want that to happen, so I made you more confident in your abilities, especially when you were training with Emmett. It gave you the boost you needed to stand up for yourself.'

I took a deep breath as I let that sink in. I had thought it strange that I had suddenly found the power to stand up to everyone and be more decisive. Apparently Jasper had helped me with that.

'Did you do anything else?'

He shook his head. 'No.'

I looked at him for a moment and he held my gaze, his face open and eyes filled with honesty. I believed him. I nodded once.

'Alice can see the future as she already explained.' Carlisle continued. 'and then you met Kate and Zafrina. We also have some other drifters that have gifts, but they're not part of our inner circle. The only one left with a gift is Edward.'

I nodded. 'Alright. So that's the gifts.'

They all nodded.

'Why did you let Edward get away with his behaviour? Why did he take you away from me?' that last question was directed towards Rosalie.

'We tried to intervene as much as we could. But Edward promised us over and over that he would keep his distance. He was evading Alice's visions so we couldn't stop him in time. He pulled me from your side because he knew I was about to whoop his ass for putting you through everything. But also because he found a phone in your room.'

I groaned. 'He read the message.'

Rosalie nodded once. 'He didn't want me to be compromised if you indeed turned out to be a spy. Although I told him that was absolutely ridiculous.'

'But it was better if Rose was removed from the situation. She stayed in the house though, she kept her eye on you from a distance. And she kept Edward on his toes, dogging his every step and making sure he behaved himself.' Emmett defended her.

I nodded once. I wasn't happy about it, but Rosalie had done what she could.

'I destroyed the phone.' I muttered. 'I never told them anything.'

'We know.' Esme soothed me. She hesitantly sat down next to me and gingerly took my hand in hers. 'We found the pieces the next day.'

'They told me, when I left… Marcus he ordered me to be their informant. I couldn't do it.' I muttered, looking away from them.

Emmett smiled at me. 'We know, Bella. You've been their victim and prisoner. We never suspected you were a spy.'

I nodded once, sagging in relief and Esme threw her arms around me, enveloping me in a motherly hug, which made me want to cry desperately. All my life I had craved this. This warmth and accepatance and love… and here it was being offered in the last place I thought it was possible.

Alice finally joined us in the present again and blinked once. Jasper soothed her and asked her what she'd seen.

'We can do it. But it will be difficult.' She announced.

I snorted. 'You didn't need to have a vision for that. I could have told you that.' I muttered. Emmett laughed loudly and even Carlisle chuckled. 'I can get you in, I know the secret passageways that are sparsely travelled. I think I know where they are keeping him as well.' I continued.

'The only problem is the timing.' Alice said. 'there are a lot of variables. If the guards are in there with him, we won't make it. But if he's alone we'll be able to get him out.'

'When would be good?' Emmett asked. he seemed to be chomping at the bit to head to Volterra and tear some vampires apart.

Alice bit her lip and shrugged. 'I can't tell for sure. They keep changing it up. One moment they're deciding to leave him alone, the next they torture him three times a day…'
I shuddered.

'He's being tortured?' I whispered.

The entire family frowned and hung their heads at that information. We probably all expected it, but it was hard to hear all the same. Probably harder to see I mused as I took in Alice's shuttered expression and jasper's hand locked firmly around the back of her neck.

'It's going to be fine.' Jasper muttered. 'He's going to be fine.'

I sighed. 'We should head to Volterra. Once we're there I can figure out when it's safe to go in.'

They all nodded.

then Emmett grinned at me. 'How does it feel to be a real coven mistress?' he asked.

I looked back at him, shocked. Coven mistress? Did they still see me as the coven mistress? I had left them, abandoned them. I had told them I wanted to be left alone after this. Yet here Emmett was proclaiming his loyalty to me.

A slow grin spread across my face. If only the position didn't include Edward. Then I'd seriously consider going back with them.

'Let's go.' I declared instead and grabbed my purse and keys. And we got out of the apartment to head to the airport and find a flight to Italy.

'By the way, you might want to call Jacob.' Rosalie said, sitting next to me in the cab.

I smiled at her and took her phone, already on Jacob's phone number. I pressed call.

I had wished I had been able to call Jake these past few weeks. he'd been my friend and I'd just left. He'd probably be worried sick. He answered on the second ring.

'What blondie?' he snapped down the line.

'Hello to you too, Jake.' I said happily down the line. It was quiet for a moment.

'Bella?' he asked incredulous.

'Yes.' I confirmed.

'Fucking hell! You're alive! I'm so sorry I couldn't find you… I tried to follow after you when you left. But you didn't go to the place we agreed on and then it was raining and I think you crossed a few rivers or lakes… I lost your scent… I'm so sorry.'

'Jacob.' I interrupted. 'it's okay. I would have sent you back if you'd tried to follow me anyway. I wasn't exactly in the right state of mind.'

'Still, I could have prevented them from taking you.'

'I got out.' I assured him. 'I'm tougher than I look.'

'Damn, you're right about that.' He blew out a big breath. 'You're alright then? Where were you?'

'The first time I escaped I went to New Hampshire. But I wasn't very smart about it, so the Volturi found me.' I explained, also for the benefit of the rest of the family who I knew were curious what had happened to me. 'I escaped after a few days and then changed my name and identity and headed to Ireland.'

'Ireland?' Jake echoed. 'I never would have looked for you there.'

'That was the point.' I said jokingly. 'I've been bartending the last week or so in Dublin.'

'That sounds pretty nice and normal.'

'It was.' I sighed down the phone. It had been a nice experience to simply be in the human world and not worry about the politics of covens and the difficulties of vampire combat and skills. It was just me and that was enough for me.

'And now?' he asked. 'I know the rest took off because Edward was in some sort of trouble. Are you with them to help him?'

'yes.' I confessed. Jacob growled down the line. 'I know you're not his biggest fan, neither am I.' I assured him.

He scoffed before I could continue. 'I hate the bastard.'

'But he doesn't deserve to be tortured, Jake.'

'I beg to differ.' He seethed. 'He tortured you. He deserves a taste of his own medicine.'

'It's not fair to him, Jake. I know I can help him. I won't leave him to his fate. I won't go back to him either, but I'm not just abandoning him.'

Jacob sighed. 'Alright. As long as you don't forgive him for what he did to you, then I'm good.'

I rolled my eyes at that. 'I'll decide whom I forgive and who I don't, alright?' I snapped at him.

It was quiet for a moment. 'Of course, sorry… It's just… I didn't like the way he treated you.' he muttered.

'Well neither did I.' I said. 'but I also don't appreciate you trying to control me.'

'I'm sorry.' he quickly said.

'Good.' I rubbed my eyes tiredly. 'look I have to go, we're at the airport.'

'Do you need backup over there?'

'No. It's better if you wolves stay as far from Volterra as you possibly can. Else it will be a bloodbath.'

'Alright, just phone me if you need anything.' he insisted.

'Okay. bye Jake.'

'Bye.' He said and then I hung up. I glanced up and immediately everyone's gaze snapped away pretending they hadn't been hanging on every word we'd spoken to each other. I rolled my eyes at them.

'Alright, you heard all that.' I sighed. 'Are you going to fire jacob for being a dick to Edward?'

Ememtt guffawed and Carlisle shook his head bemusedly.

'We can't fire the wolves. It's a truce. We don't control who is in the pack anymore than they control who is in our coven.' Carlisle explained.

'Good.' I muttered.

The car pulled up to the airport and we got out.

'Rosalie go get the tickets, I'll go get some luggage.' Alice ordered and then they both flitted off.

The rest of us were left to head into the airport slowly.

'Why did you chose Ireland?' Esme asked, walking next to me.

I shrugged. 'It seemed overcast and rainy enough to allow me to be relatively normal to mainstream.'

'And you didn't struggle with your thirst around humans?' Carlisle enquired.

I shook my head. 'I had practice though. I used to sneak out of Volterra on overcast days to mingle with humans.'

Carlisle looked thoughtful for a moment.

'Will you excuse me?' I asked after a moment, they all nodded and I headed into a bathroom and quickly pulled a new pair of coloured lenses out of my bag. The old ones were dissolving. And I didn't want anyone to lump me in with the Cullens. I was Elizabeth here, and I needed to protect that identity.

when I rejoined the rest, Alice had returned with carryon bags for each of us and Rosalie had the tickets in hand.

We were in luck, there was a plane leaving in just half an hour with enough seats on it for us. We headed through security and headed to the right gate quickly. The wait was short and so was the flight itself. The rest of the Cullen's were on edge and they were bouncing in their seats. Alice kept checking the future periodically to see if things had changed yet. I was the only one who was calm.

But then again I knew what we were heading into. The rest had no idea.

Jasper I could tell was glad for my calm, he seemed drawn to me somehow and by the third time his arm had wandered over to my side of the seat he grinned sheepishly at me and apologized.

'Sorry, the rest are just so high strung right now, you're like a beacon to me, a grounding beacon of calm that centres me.'

I grinned and smiled at hm. 'It's fine.' I assured him. 'think of it as repayment for your little confidence boosters.'

His lips turned down then. 'I'm sorry about that, truly.'

I shrugged. 'Don't be. I think if you hadn't I wouldn't have survived. I needed it.'

'I just wanted to help you.' he said. 'You seemed so defeated back then.'

'I was.' I admitted. 'the Volturi will do that to you after enough time.'

He gave me a sad smile. 'I'm glad we got you out. I'm sorry it was under such wretched circumstances, but I'm glad we could help you and train you.'

I nodded. 'I'm glad I went too. Even though Edward made my life hell, I found some good old friends. And some new ones.' I smiled and squeezed his hand affectionately. He squeezed back.

When we disembarked Alice took lead again, steering us to through the airport and heading to the car rental agency. She rented two cars and we separated into two groups. Emmet, Rosalie and I took one car. Esme, Carlisle, Alice and Jasper the other. They would lead and we would follow.

Alice had her sights on a small cottage just outside of Volterra. So that was where we were headed.

I kept my eyes on the road and countryside as Emmett drove behind Carlisle, breaking the speed limit the entire time. I focussed on the rolling hills and the sun and checked for signs of Volturi activity.

Emmett and Rosalie kept up some light chatter, sensing I wasn't in the mood for any more soul bearing or apologies.

We'd all said our piece. It was time to move forward.