You are an obsession
I cannot sleep
I am a possession
Unopened at your feet
There is no balance
No equality
Be still
I will not accept defeat
I will have you
Yes I will have you
I will find a way
And I will have you
Like a butterfly
A wild butterfly
I will collect you and capture you
chapter one: The Stuff that dreams are made of.
Spinel was always fearful of being left alone. she would stand and wait. and wait. and wait.
god, she hated waiting. she would be a master of it by now considering. but she grew to hate it.
for you see...she has a problem. she has abandonment issues. but can you blame her? all that rage, all that pain she carried in her heart. because of pink diamond. that fucking cunt. cunt. it was a word she got from the world wide web. ah, the internet. it was the only thing she used to pass the time until steven came back.
she knew she was just attaching herself onto one person. it was what caused all her problems in the first place. sure, she wasn't logical. emotion ruled her. and in some way it still did. she knew damn well this was the son of the whore who left her. and for what? this dust ball? though when she stopped and looked at it.. it was a pretty place. but she fucked it up with the toxins she injected into the world. something steven and the gems are still cleaning up.
guilt was something she didn't like the feeling. the worse was jealousy. she didn't care if steven hung out with the other gems. hell, she herself knew she needed to make friends with them. but the one creature she could not stand was Connie. ah, yes. the hook nose broad. and that there lies the problem.
steven spent too much time with her. and not enough with her, spinel the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be. steven was the key to heal her already damaged heart. he was going to be her happily ever after. he was going to make her feel loved again. he was, as Humphrey Bogart said, "the stuff that dreams are made of"
yes, she was well aware of bogart. she rather liked television. she liked the black and white movies she found on the television. a channel called TCM. that's where she discovered those crime movies. and romance movies, and just about everything.
the Maltese falcon was good. really good. she loved it. she loved the television. it was her way of passing the time. she didn't care for modern music, but she did like the old fashion stuff. jazz and the like. the real old stuff. yeah. she liked it, so what of it?
but it wasn't enough. every five seconds she thoughts were of him. she thought of steven. and how she just wanted to hold him and be with him. always, forever. and ever and ever. but it wasn't easy. Connie was there. and she didn't like her. and she'll never like her.
she paced back and forth. she looked out the window and waited. she sighed and paced again. only to stop and look at herself in the mirror. she wasn't the bright ray of sunshine. oh, no. she was still pale and dark. the black circles around her eyes, the black streaks over her cheeks. her heart shape gem still turned upside down.
was she even pretty to steven? was she attractive enough? she never really question her appearance. she knew some weird humans like girls like her. they called them goths. or something. she rubbed her finger and thumb together. thinking. thinking.
she paced. television and the world wide web wasn't going to do it this time. but what she knew she wanted to try. like kissing. kissing and having sex. she didn't know much about it. but she found a site that had tons of it.
and boy golly did it sure looked fun! she was of course submissive. she was made to serve steven. and what male didn't want that? she knew enough that modern girls were too...independent. what kind of life was that? didn't they know to serve is the greatest thing in life?
that was her purpose. she was steven's servent. she was made to please by any means. she was his slave, his pet, his toy, his friend. and while the other gems didn't feel this way, she knew she was right where she was. ...she was willing to have steven beat her if he was frustrated. slap her, smack her, abuse her like a pearl. unf.
speaking of pearl...
she once caught her in secret with the father of steven. and they were committing the act of sex. as far as she knew sex was a primitive act that was long since abandon. but if need be...
she paused when she heard the door open. when she turned, there he was, in that school jacket. the blue shirt and just...unf.
her eyes brighten as he was her center of her world. he was her everything. the second and the last. he was her precious. he was her master. he was her friend and maybe hopefully her lover if she played her cards right. but then an ugly blotch stood next to her. the hook nose dame.
oh boy, she really burns her up! who does she think she is? she sure as hell wasn't no Marilyn Monroe. she looked more like the wicked witch of the west. and they were holding hands. see, a few months ago she would overreact, and start throwing tantrums. but that didn't work anymore. so she needed to play it cool. she needed to be the bright merry ray of sunshine. Connie didn't even let steven grope her tits... not there was anything to grab. fucking titless bitch. haaaah.
but spinel? she could morph a pair of tata's and let him grope to his heart's content! that's the trouble with earth women. with their independence, and their metoo movements and all. she felt she was traditional. and she knew damn well that's what she was and was damn proud of it.
"so I'll see you Friday?"
she asked steven. he smiled for her...smile for me...damnit.
"wouldn't miss it!"
she kissed his cheek.
bah. go big or go home, you lousy bitch.
Connie looked at her and smile. spinel smiled slowly. when she left. she frowned. she woulda' loved to help meet her maker. that no good son of a bitch. steven greeted spinel and all her sour thoughts went out the window. like the stock market crashed.
she knew of human consumption. so she taught herself to do a pearls job. yes, she was made for play but that needed to change. if she wanted to be the ideal playmate and friend she must serve at his every whim. and Connie? hah! her head was in the clouds, eyes looking up in the stars. what sort of partner was she? did she not think of his needs first?
she jumped and did a little cartoon dance. she got the moves like mickey.
"welcome back steven! I'll start dinner! whatcha want? burgers? hotdogs? pizza?"
steven raised a brow but smiled all the same.
"something light I guess"
spinel stretched her leg across the room and like a rubber band and was in the kitchen. she stretched her body to get to the top cabinets and search for something simple.
"oh, by the way, there's a storm comin' "
spinel announced.
"yeah, I know that's why I came back"
he opens the fridge to get a cola.
"ah-hah!"
she grabbed two cans of chili then set herself back down. juggling them.
"chili on a rainy day, what's not to love eh ?"
he smiled at her.
"sounds good. though pearl is usually the one who cooks."
spinel rolled her eyes. that dumb yardstick couldn't cook worth a damn. she grabs a pot and begins her magic cooking skills. she taught herself to cook, while gems don't consume, she did have a fondness for taste. steven walked towards the tv in the living room and turned it on
while he did that she cooked. and she glanced at him. boy howdy did she make her feel brand new. all those bad feelings vanished when he was around. her memories flashed and she remembered the good times with her pink diamond. the joys, the laughter, the endless fun.
but then she left her behind for centuries. spinel stirred the chili. her face a blank expression. feeling that familiar ache in her heart. the very image of pink used to bring comfort and love. now all she saw was a monster. she made her this way. she was the reason why she nearly destroyed the earth.
all.
her.
fault.
not spinel. she was victim of circumstance. why blame herself when there was a bigger puppet master at play? she refused to believe she did wrong. but then... she almost killed steven. she was just so...angry! it wasn't fair! she was loyal and caring, and fun! and this was how she was treated. the gratitude...huh! pink diamond...she was a fucking monster.
she looked at steven. and he too was a victim wasn't he? his mother...rose...who was actually pink diamond lied to him as well. she lied to everyone. she...oh if she was here she'd shatter her. oh, she woulda' loved to murderlize that lyin' cheatin' no good dirty bum.
she found herself shaking. she had to pull her shit together. she had to break away from that wicked spell pink put on her. but every time she did think of her, all she felt was rage. rage. FUCKING RAGE! she took a deep breath and steady her nerves.
get with the fucking program spinel. she didn't matter anymore. she never mattered. if she didn't love you. then she can go to hell. she hoped hell existed. because pink deserved to have pineapples stuffed in her anus by Hitler himself. and Hitler was pretty bad from what she read. kinda like pink. she sneered and she still can't get her out of her gemdamn mind!
"Spinel?"
she was zapped back to reality she breathed out and an arm stretched and grabbed a bowl. while turning off the stove. she poured some chili and she turned and had a bright happy smile. then walked over and placed it on the table. he thanked her and begin to eat. she just watched him.
he was eating and enjoying her cooking. and wasn't that the greatest reward? yes. yes, it was. she would be his housewife. she had a goofy smile. housewife. ... wife. yes. the ultimate of friendship. far more than friendship. garnet married and so...why couldn't she with steven?
surely she was good enough for such a status. she laid across on the couch and placed her hands her cheeks, kicking her legs as she gazed at steven. he didn't pay much attention and was watching the three stooges. she looked at the television. gee' she never saw this black and white before.
she sat up and watched the television.
Curly: "Oh, I can't look at this. I can't, I can't."
curly unknowingly holds a candle on Moe's rear end
Moe: "OWWWW! You burn me up!" he slaps Curly with both hands. "Get out of the way! I'll find this thing."
Larry takes a peek behind the chair as Moe crawls around it
Moe: (to himself) "Skeletons. Bunk, that's what!"
Larry and Moe look at each other and get startled
Stooges: "AHHH!"
Spinel was laughing so hard her pink face was turning red, holding her sides with a large smile stretched out. tears in her eyes. this was the funniest thing eh ever did see. it almost made her feel like her old self.
Larry and Moe look over to Curly
Larry: "Now, where's your ghost?"
Moe: "A skeleton with little feet, eh?" moe makes a fist with both hands and hits Curly on the head
Larry: "Carrying his head in his hands."
Curly: "Ah, stop it!"
Larry kicks Curly on the behind
Moe: "Go on to bed."
Curly: "Stop it! STOP IT!"
The Stooges walk over to bed
Moe: "You're breaking up my sleep. If you so much as breathe, I'll tear your tonsils out and I'll tie it around your neck for a bowtie!"
Curly: "Shut up!"
Moe: "Get in there! Out to the edge now. You're asleep wrecker. Go to sleep."
The Stooges get into the bed covers
Curly: "I tell ya, I saw a ghost."
Moe: "Go on!"
Larry: "Ah! Ghosts, spooks, skeletons, kids stuff." (yawns) "There are no such things as ghosts."
The Stooges finally go back to sleep. The skull falls from above the bed and on Larry's head. The skeleton moves to the table on the side of the bed, but Larry doesn't see it
Larry: "Ooh!" (wakes up Moe) "Hey, what's the idea of hitting me on the head?"
Moe: "I didn't hit you on the head…yet!" moe hits Larry on the head. "Go on, go to sleep."
Larry turns to his left and sees the skeleton on the table
Larry: "AHHHHH!" wakes up Moe. "M-M-Moe, M-M-Moe, Moe! He's right! It's a ghost! It's right there! It's on the tabl- Eh, what?"
Larry points to the table near the bed, but nothing is there
Moe: "Oh, you too, eh? I'm gonna have trouble with you. Well, let me give you a little advice."
Larry: "What?"
Moe slaps Larry on the face.
"That! No, go on. Go to sleep before I murder ya. You guys somnambulists?"
Spinel was kicking her feet in the air. and had a giggling fit. steven just smiled at her glad to see a smile on her grim and gritty face. there was just something heartwarming to see it. spinel sighed and relaxed that's when she noticed him staring. she blushed and swallowed thickly.
she looked at the tv. then a sly grinned appeared on her lips. she plops her head on his lap and he stiffens he looked down at her with his own blush on his cheeks. she wraps her arms about to snuggle. when amethyst and garnet came in. they stopped and stared.
"what're you lookin' at ya knuckleheads?"
Spinel grunted and curled against steven, who smiled nervously. amethyst shrugged and pulled out a can of beer from out of her cleavage and walked past. garget just sighed at the sight of it and chose not to say a word. steven stretched and sighed.
"well, I better get to be-eh?"
he looked down and saw she had to cling her fingers onto his jacket. outside the storm was brewing. Thunder rolled outside. the two stayed still. steven blushed and tugged.
"I'll uh...see ya later-"
he grabbed on and pull her hands off of jacket.
"try not to stay up too late, okay? and thanks for dinner."
and with that, he took the bowl and went to wash it before he walked up the stairs. spinel watched him go. every sense of her told her to follow. but somehow she didn't. she stayed where she was and watched the next three stooges short.
she glared at the window. he was gone again. without telling her. just...gone. out. with Connie. boy wasn't that just the pits. staying in and waiting.
she was sick of it. she decided she was going to go out. she trekked all around the city. but she couldn't find them anywhere. it was half a day and she was strolling along at the docks when she heard giggling. she peered over the boardwalk and there they were...
running, laughing, playing. she gripped the railing and stared. Connie... she was the ugliest creature she ever saw. it would be so easy to morph a sharp object with her hand and impale her through her like crap on a goose. or simply choke her till she breathes no more.
but she couldn't. there were laws you know. violence never solved anything anyway. she rubbed her chin in thought. watching as the cogs in her mind turned. ... if she couldn't be his heroine, she could be a villian...and what do villains do best?
plant the seed of doubt.
make Connie look like the bad guy...
but how...?
their happiness won't last forever. she knew that. sooner or later a crack will show. and when that happens, spinel will come to steven and act like a goody-goody. fill his head with idea's... steven and Connie fell on the ground. their noses touch. spinel's widen with horror. their lips were so close. steven moved forward to close in the gap - Connie turned away.
...you stupid little cunt...
she didn't hear them but they were talking. steven got up, rubbing the back of his head. he looked disappointed. spinel's lips turned into a crooked smile. that's when she knew it. Connie wouldn't put out. his virginity is still intact.
oooh, boys were easy to manipulate. she licked her lips as an idea was forming in her head. she looked on and saw how the two turned away. she saw something in steven. something not like him. anger? maybe. he was talking, then she was responding. they looked to be in a fight. but steven stopped, lowered his head and spoke. Connie reached out and hugged him.
spinel knew steven was thirsty to go to the next level...spinel needed to play her cards right before she bagged him. it was only a matter of time...
Pizza.
now, this was a food she liked.
gems don't eat. but they still have taste buds.
and she liked her some mushroom and pepperoni.
she ate and enjoyed it. along with a fluid called root beer.
"How is it spinel?"
Steven asked. she looked at him with a smile.
"it's...fun."
she took another bite and swallowed.
"yeah, it is."
he sighed, smiled but looked down. she tilts her head.
"what's wrong steven?"
he sighed again and picked at a mushroom.
"it's just...connie's doesn't seem to want to move forward in our relationship."
spinel blinked.
"oh." she tilted her head, her messy pigtails sway a bit.
"she's focused more on her career and schooling and..."
he sighed once more. frustrated.
"I shouldn't be mad if she doesn't want to kiss me on the lips but.."
she blushed. spinel's mind began to think of ways to derail the relationship between the brown human and himself. like taking a slegehammer...and smashing the railroad into pieces.
I want to be your sledgehammer
Why don't you call my name
You'd better call the sledgehammer
Put your mind at rest
I'm going to be - the sledgehammer
This can be my testimony
I'm your sledgehammer
Let there be no doubt about it...
"well, jeee-wiz steven"
she placed a finger on her bottom lip, tilt her head cutely and gave him soulful eyes.
"if she cared more about that, maybe she doesn't care as much as you think she does."
the look on his face saddened. it pained her to see him like this, but in the name of love, she had to break hearts before she can love him.
"Maybe you're right..."
he slapped the pizza on the plate and sighed heavily.
"but I feel so selfish for wanting something she isn't ready for."
spinel leaned against him and rested her head on his shoulder. he doesn't flinch.
"it's not selfish of wanting to have something to be happy about."
her arm loop behind him, her gloved fingertips massaged his scalp. he closed his eyes and let out a moan. stopped and blushed. she had a coy smile.
"after all.."
she said in a sympathetic cute tone.
"you try sooooo hard. is it really so much to ask for her to...i dunno...love you, kiss you?"
his brown eyes let her Magna colored eyes.
spinel let go and shrugged.
"But what do i know? I never kissed... I know how to love though"
steven hummed and looked outside. it was raining. heavily. spinel looked him in the corner of his eyes. then her mind was like a sleek son of a bitch. her face turned into that of concern.
"the worse she could do is...no..i better not jynx ya"
Steven looked at her and stared.
"...what?"
she pouted and looked at him.
"...what if she hurts ya?"
his eyes shift to the side and gulped.
"I'm sorry steven, I'm being mean"
she huffed and covered her face in her hands.
"I'm such a terrible friend for even saying that!"
steven raised his hands.
"no, it's okay."
she shook her head furiously clenching her teeth.
"no, no! I shouldn't even put the idea of her breaking up with you into yer head!"
steven lowered his hands. his eyes downcast but he seemed to be thinking hard. he shut his eyes, and his lips tighten into a straight line. he breathed through his nose.
"I just don't wanna see you get hurt"
she cupped his hands, he opened his eyes and met the eyes of sorrow.
"I don't want you to feel like I felt..."
steven teared up. not because of the fear of Connie breaking up with him. but the simple reminder of what spinel had been through. and there she was, caring about his well being. his hand gently squeezed hers and he gave her a smile.
"if she does... at least I have a friend to share the pain right?"
spinel's lips quivered and she leaned in and hugged him.
"you don't deserve it though. yer a goodfella steven."
she rubbed his back and he seemed to relax.
"I'll be here for ya, steven,"
she whispered.
"through thick or thin, for better or for worse..."
steven smiled softly.
"Thanks, spinel... you're a good friend."
she broke the hug and just like that, a single kiss on his cheek made him stiffen. she rose up and stretched in a suggestive way, and he caught himself staring at her.
"welp. I better clean up."
she took the plates and wrapped her rubber hose arms around the empty cans. she gave him a wink.
"go to bed, dollface."
he blushed a deep red.
she turned with a bit of a wiggle of her hips. he didn't see it, but she had a wolfish smile. because she knew she was putting a wrench in the machine. planting the seeds of doubt. and if Connie did break up with him...or rather if she did things that would make him question Connie's love for him... well... she knew it was enough to make the crack even bigger.
steven stood up and walked up the stairs to his room. only to stop for a second, he looked at spinel who was at the sink, washing the dishes. singing zippity doo-dah he gulped and walked up to his room. his cheek was still tingling from her small kiss. like a pulsing vein. after today's small little spat with Connie...
well, that night that was forgotten. hell, the thoughts of Connie were replaced with spinel...
as he laid awake at night he realized something...
she called him Dollface.
and for some reason that made him smile.
to be continued.