Divine Comedy (33)

Jane

I stormed off for a good mile away from everyone else before my temper simmered down, like lava cooling and slowing into sludge after an eruption. I was ashamed with taking that long to curb my rage. I thought I had improved under Goro's training.

Times like this made me feel as if I had taken a step forward but two steps back. On one hand (literally), I had figured out how to work my way around the sword-grabbing move. On the other, I couldn't enjoy myself during the race like I should have. Everyone else seemed to be having fun except for me.

I looked over my shoulder, but I was alone. Seth, Leah, and Alec didn't follow me and try to bring me back. My brother knew me best, and he knew to give me wide berth whenever my temper boiled over. He must have shared the same advice with Seth and Leah.

Seth's outburst left me stung. He was right. I had failed to follow simple instructions explicitly made by Tsermaa. Of course he was right. Why did he always have to be so damn perfect? I adored him for his wholesomeness, but sometimes, like now, he made me feel like scum beneath my boot. I kicked at a tuft of grass, sending it sailing into the air and carving out a shallow crater in the soil.

I didn't return to the ger until nightfall. The riders from earlier today had rejoined the herd back in their horse forms, and as they grazed outside, Tsermaa awaited me inside with her family, Seth, Leah, and Alec.

From the sound of it, they'd been recounting how much they had enjoyed the race today.

"You're such a good rider, Enkh," I heard Leah say. "You must've been riding since you learned how to walk."

After a few moments of translating, Tsermaa and then Alec said on his behalf, "You're so fast for a wolf, you could almost be a horse."

That made everyone laugh. Their animated conversations cut short as I trudged in.

I raised an eyebrow. "Go on. Don't let me ruin whatever little party you have going."

Tsermaa frowned up at me from her seat at the table. "Have you calmed down now? It seems that you haven't learned your lesson. I can't proceed with training until you learn to loosen up."

I huffed out a cross sigh. "If you could just tell me why and spell it out to me, I might just get it." I shot Seth a resentful glance and said in English, "I may be too dull to understand what the hell we're trying to do here."

He thinned his lips and dropped his gaze into his lap. It seemed that guilt shut him down. But only for a moment. He rose and approached me with caution. "How about we go for another run?" he gently suggested. "Just you and me."

I'd rather be under the open coolness of night than in the stifling heat of the ger, so I turned away and stepped outside the threshold. Seth followed after me with tentative steps, keeping a distance, as if I was a beast that'd snap at him without notice.

"Um, so is that a yes or no?" he asked.

I said nothing for a moment. The steppe breeze whistled past my ears and played at stray strands of my hair. Then I spun around to look him squarely in the eye. "First, I want you to tell me what you meant earlier. You know, before you said I wouldn't understand."

"Look, about that, I'm really sorry." Seth put both hands behind his back and shifted his weight on gangly legs. "Running for fifty miles without being able to properly tell you got me all worked up. I said stuff I shouldn't have said. I blamed you for something that's not really your fault."

His apology somewhat blunted the razor-sharp edge of my anger. "What did you mean to tell me, Seth?" I asked in a softer voice.

"That 'silly howling and bucking around' was me trying to take you back to the theme park. Remember how I took you there, on the Boardwalk Bullet, to show you how to have fun? Remember those times we got back on the ride again and again, and each time you realized that it's better to put up your hands and scream your head off, better than clamping up and keeping your eyes shut? That's what I was going for."

"Is that so?" I glanced up at the full moon in exasperation before shaking my head at myself. "You were trying to tell me that through most of the race, and that didn't sink in at all. I really am stupid."

"No, Jane. You're not stupid." Seth took my hand into his, and the heat of his touch startled me. "You're wicked smart. I told my mom that before she had even known you were a vampire, when she thought you were just my Latin tutor. It blows my mind how you know so much. Didn't you master every kind of martial arts from Goro, and don't you speak, like, a billion languages?"

"Thirteen, actually," I muttered.

"That's still a lot. And I'm not gonna forget this morning, how you came up with your own way to pick up your sword on wolfback. I don't think even Tsermaa had come up with that trick before you." Seth let go of my hand to rest his on my cheek. "You're amazing, Jane. I want you to know I'll always think that of you."

I took a step back, so his hand slid away from my face. "Thank you, but for all my knowledge, that doesn't take away the fact that I couldn't follow Tsermaa's instructions for the race." Embarrassment bubbled up within me. "Even a child like Enkh knows how to have fun."

Seth didn't reply right away. He stared down at my shoes and fell silent before speaking up again. "When I had time to think about it, I realized why you struggled to do something that seemed so simple." When he looked up, his eyes were wet and wavering. "It's not simple for you, for someone who's been through so much pain and loss and suffering. I don't know anyone else who's been through more. The idea of fun is strange and foreign to you, like me trying to wrap my head around all the torment and heartbreak you've had."

He sighed. "And that's not the only thing weighing you down. I noticed that you're the kind of person who's fixed on the big picture, and always thinking about the future...about everyone's future. You talk about fighting for the greater good, and you worry over your entire kind. You put the whole world on your shoulders. You must feel like the weight's about to crush you. That's why you have such a hard time setting that aside for even a moment, because you're worried that if you do, you'd let everybody down."

He voiced what I hadn't been able to put into words. I didn't respond with any denial, but only held his gaze and made the smallest nod. I leaned in toward him, to rest my cheek on his bare chest, and his arms wrapped around me in that warm hug I've come to love so much.

His whisper caressed my ear. "You put so much on those little shoulders of yours. You don't have to apologize for your struggles. It's my fault for not understanding earlier."

I rested my hand over his beating heart—a silent show of forgiveness. Then I said, "This idea of fun seems crucial to grasp, though. Tsermaa seems to think so. Why is that? Enlighten me, because you seemed to have gotten it."

"I didn't get it at first. But the more I ran during that race, I thought of how awesome it was to run between the sky and a land that never seemed to end. I didn't think about anything else. It's like all my worries and troubles went right out the window. I felt so free, Jane, like nothing could tie me down. Not even my own body. I felt like I could fly."

I knitted my brow. "When you put it that way, that doesn't sound too different from an out-of-body experience."

He blinked. "Yeah, I guess not."

"That's why Tsermaa insisted we participate in the race. She wants us to get into the right state of mind for spirit-roaming. It's like stilling your thoughts to enter the deepest trance of meditation." I grabbed Seth's hand. "Tell me more about this feeling you had."

He grinned. "I can stand here all night and tell you, but it's something you've really got to experience yourself. So do you want to run with me?"

This time I responded with a "yes," with a resolute nod.

Seth began to untie the knot of cloth at his waist. "You'd better hold onto this. I'm gonna need it later." He turned his back to me as he loosened the knot, to spare my sight of his groin, and he threw a glance and a grin at me over his shoulder. "One last thing: don't force yourself and try too hard. Let that feeling come to you."

I took the cloth from him and stepped away as he shifted into his wolf form. I tossed it over his back like a blanket and mounted him. He cocked his ears forward before setting off in a brisk trot.

What felt like ages ago, by the field of dandelions on the other side of the world, Seth wanted to understand my pain. Now, on the plains of Mongolia, it was my turn to try understanding this flighty sensation he had.

He talked of how running had chased away his worries and troubles. If I let myself enjoy the ride, then perhaps I could experience the same thing. It was hard not to think about Luka, his dangerous flames, and the threat he posed on my kind. We knew for certain that he was actively accumulating power. Who knows what he'd be capable of next?

I furiously shook my head, before the seed of anxiety and worry took further root within me. I drew in a deep breath, filling my lungs with the night chill free of city-tainted smells. Of course, I drew in Seth's scent as well, which I'd grown accustomed to and now regard as a source of comfort.

I leaned back a bit and tipped my gaze to the swath of stars above us. I had never seen this many glittering points in the sky in my long life, not since the days of my childhood. At Seth's feet, and stretching for miles beyond us, grass bathed under the soft light of a full moon. I tensed for a moment, since the full moon reminded me of jinrō and the curse of their transformation. The great winds rolled unimpeded in these plains, carrying many scents from far away. To my relief, I caught no traces of jinrō lurking around.

I relaxed, and tried to relax some more, as I strived to think of nothing else but the stars above me and the grass below me. It truly was beautiful here, so open and untamed. The night sky must look even more stunning if Seth and I moved faster.

He had been keeping a steady trot, his furred neck craned back as he admired the stars with me. I pressed my heels into his sides, urging him to pick up the pace. He made an agreeable grunt and broke out into a lope.

It was just me and Seth out here. There was no air of competition or others running around to distract me. I did, however, try to remember how the riders bounced on the horses at full gallop. Bounced with them, rather. Tsermaa did say that riding was far more than just sitting on an animal and not doing much else. Experienced riders knew to move along with the rhythm of riding.

With no wooden posts to twist and turn through, and with the vast plains before us, I could let myself get acquainted with the rise and fall of Seth's body, and the steady rhythm his paws beat on the grass. I felt for the surging leap of his hindpaws, the arcing land of his forepaws, and how that rollicking energy sent him almost flying over the grass. I let my shoulders and hips roll with the motion, and even relaxed my grip a bit on his neck fur, to flex my arm in and out in time with his body going up and down. It somewhat felt like dancing on his back. It felt good.

The beginnings of a smile tugged at the corners of my lips, and with another dig of my heels, I urged Seth to run even faster. He charged into a full-fledged gallop, blowing out sharp pants. The stars above us smeared into white streaks across a sea of black.

I threw back my head and let out the longest, wildest whoop. Seth joined in with a howl. We raised our voices in unison for a good minute before he had to slow down and rest. Dizzied by the thrill of the ride, I shook with breathless laughter. Seth's sides heaved as he tried to catch his breath, though he let out a yip to let me know how much he had enjoyed that run. I slid off his back, and as soon as I did, he flopped onto his side with a loud thump on the grass.

Alarm shot through me. "Seth, are you—?"

He rolled back and forth on the ground several times, then flipped to face me with his tongue lolling out, and with the goofiest toothy grin on his face.

I huffed out a sigh of relief and shook my head. "You're so silly. I thought you were hurt." I got down to my knees, then crossed my legs to sit, and I felt with my hands how cold the ground felt. "Ah. You just wanted to cool off, didn't you?"

A playful light twinkled in his eyes and he nodded.

I leaned into him, my back against his side and my cheek on his shoulder. I could hear his heart thundering in his chest, and feel the heat of his body blanketing me. "That was fun. I see what you mean now." I stroked his furred forehead. "Thank you for showing me."

Seth

Getting Jane to see eye-to-eye with me had to be the best part today, even better than the race earlier. We came to Mongolia to learn how to work together, and to do that, we had to understand each other better.

Even without the vampire world in danger of being wiped out, it warmed my heart to see Jane just smiling and laughing. The poor girl had only known darkness, pain, and rage for ten times longer than I've been alive. I was glad I could be that beacon of light for her, to lead her out of that pit of darkness she'd been stuck in for so long.

"You were right, Seth," she murmured. "When I could only think about the wind, the stars, and the grass, I felt lighter, freer. Like I could go anywhere." She reached out her arm, past my shoulder, to feel for my heart thumping on my chest. "If only we weren't held back by our bodies. You would run to the ends of the earth if you could, wouldn't you?"

My "yep" came out as a wolf yip.

Jane kept resting against me, in no hurry or rush to get back and demand more training. I could tell her body was loosened up and relaxed—well, as much as a vampire could be, anyway. She was still cold and stiff as a statue, but I sensed none of the tension and tightness from the race. She gazed up at the moon and stars, her eyes like twin dim suns.

"Seth...I know you said to focus on the now and not worry so much about the future...but I want to talk about Enkh, and what that could mean for us."

My pants quieted as I caught more of my breath, and I let her go on.

"Female vampires can't bear children. That was something I had long accepted as fact. It had never crossed my mind that having children could be possible with a shapeshifter mate. I thought that I couldn't give you a family if you wanted one, but Tsermaa and Ganbold had proven me wrong. They were able to have a child, and the three of them seem very happy together." She couldn't blush, but she pursed her lips, dropped her gaze to her lap, and went on shyly, "I..I would like that with you someday."

My tail started wagging, beating against the grass in soft thumps. I'd been wondering what she thought ever since we met Enkh. He seemed similar to Renesmee, a vampire-human hybrid who'd grow up quickly and have the best of both worlds. Jane just confessed that she wanted to take that next big step in our relationship with me. In my wolf form, that got my tail wagging hard, when I'd have the biggest grin on my face otherwise. It was good to know that Jane could see something shining in her horizon, and it wasn't all doom and gloom.

But then she frowned and said, "If there will be a someday..."

I slid my paws in beneath me and propped myself off the ground by an inch, so Jane would know to get up. I rolled over on my back and shifted out of my wolf form, so I could give her a proper reply. "Don't go down that rabbit hole again, babe," I said gently. "Hang onto that happy picture. Have something to look forward to. If you think about the future that way, and believe there will be a future for us, we'll be okay."

"I'll try." She laid down beside me and sighed. "I wish I had your optimism. Aren't you terrified of what's standing in our way?"

"I'm kind of scared," I admitted. "But I'd be a lot more scared if I didn't have you by my side. And I feel better when I focus on what would be in store for us." I touched her cool cheek. "Now that we know it's possible, I'd love to start a family with you. We could get married, you could move to La Push..." I cracked a grin. "You would be the first ever vampire welcomed into the tribe, if I married you. Wouldn't that be something?" I remembered what Sam had told me; I was already making history for being the first Quileute wolf to date a vampire.

Jane considered the idea, and that made the gold in her eyes soften into something like honey. "That would be lovely."

"If you're open to having a family someday, then that means..." I trailed off, and my hot cheeks overwhelmed anything else that could've finished the sentence. Then, with a small voice, I managed to say, "You're okay with that? Are you sure?"

Her way of answering came in the form of planting a kiss on my lips. She pulled back and said, "One hundred percent." At the trace of a frown on my face, she said, "Two hundred percent. Is that sure enough for you?"

I couldn't dig up a reply, so I must've still looked unconvinced as she pressed another kiss—not on my mouth this time, but on my chin, and her mouth made a cool fluttering trail along my jaw and down my neck. Her whisper was just as cool on my skin. "Forget numbers. How about now? This very moment?"

"Now?" I choked out. "Like, right here? On the grass?"

Her hand was on my chest, right where my heart started hammering at a hundred miles an hour. "I want you, Seth, tonight. I don't know how else I can make that any clearer." She pulled back a bit to show the doubt flickering in her eyes. "But do you want me?"

"Y-yeah, I do." Even if I didn't admit that through my mouth, like I had a frog stuck in my throat, the rest of my body gave the answer obviously enough. My face was so hot, and my heart beat so hard, and Jane looked so beautiful under the moonlight that I ached for her. I glanced down at her limp sleeve, where her right arm should be. "I don't want to hurt you, though. That's what I'm worried about."

"You're not going to hurt me. I'm not human anymore. I don't bleed and break that way like I used to." She frowned. "But that's not what you meant, isn't it?"

I managed a small nod.

Jane's hand moved from my chest to the line of my jaw. "You'd never want to hurt me. That's the most important thing. You are the kindest, sweetest boy I know. I love you and trust you for that."

With her hand on my cheek, she closed the gap between us with a kiss. This time I returned it and let it linger, so I could savor the cool sweetness of her mouth. I ran fingers through her hair before I pulled back.

"Why now?" I asked. "Why not later?"

Her hand tightened on my bare shoulder. "I will fight with tooth and nail, I promise you." Her face took on a pained look. "But in case that bloody kresnik does wipe me off the face of the earth, I don't want to die regretting that I had never proved how much I love you."

"I don't want to die regretting that, either," I said softly.

No more talking. We came to that silent, certain understanding as we shared one kiss after another, each one more heated than the last. I laid back on the grass so that her legs straddled my hips. Only when Jane unbuttoned her blue coat did I untie the cloth at my waist, to spread it out like a blanket underneath us.

Showing more of her skin meant showing more of her scars. Dark, jagged reminders of her fight with the werewolf criss-crossed all over her chest and belly. Long lines from the claws, shallow craters from the teeth. What had torn through her smooth, pale skin were now part of her sword, weapons she had made her own. The scars didn't make her ugly, but only proved to me how much stronger she had become since the day I had met her.

I reached out with both hands, paused just an inch from her skin, and at a reassuring nod from her, I stroked my fingers along her scars. She shuddered and a quiet moan slipped past her parted lips. I pulled her closer to me, so our chests touched, and reached further into her coat to roam my hands along her back, along the scars etched there, too. She rested her mouth on my neck, where she had bitten me. I didn't feel the sharpness of her teeth again, but only the smooth glide of her tongue along the scars. Warm pleasure stabbed down my belly, and I let out a long, trembling sigh.

We spent the night like that, exploring each other with our sense of taste and touch over sight, committed to learning and knowing every uncovered inch of our bodies. The only time I needed to look was to search Jane's face for the slightest signs of discomfort, but every time, she granted me unspoken permission to give her pleasure I felt she deserved.

All the differences that made us wolf and vampire blurred into nothing as we made love under the stars. My heat and her coldness melted into a hazy warmth. At one point I saw stars, the kind not twinkling in the night sky, but the kind that turned the insides of my eyelids red and white. When the blanket of warmth slipped away from us, it left me sweating and panting. My heart wanted to jump out and gallop away from my body. Jane rested on me, her cheek on my chest acting like a way to keep my heart in place.

"You okay, babe?" I breathed.

"More than okay, darling." Her breath tickled my damp skin. "I feel like I'm in paradise." Her voice had gone so soft with bliss that she sounded sleepy.

As for me, I felt very high up, as if I was teetering on the top of a mountain instead of lying flat on the grass. My palm stroked large, lazy circles on Jane's thigh. Her finger traced a cool trail along the tattoo on my shoulder, and that was the last thing I felt before sleep stole over me.

Alec

While Seth went outside with Jane in hopes to smooth down her ruffled feathers, Enkh asked me to read another story to him from one of the books he had bought recently. The boy had been yearning to hear from a native English speaker, and he hung on every word I read from a translated version of a Mongolian folktale.

"You're a mix of me and my sister," I told him after the story. "I like to read, and Jane has a talent for speaking many languages."

"Oh, I don't speak many like her. Not yet."

"You want to?"

He nodded with enthusiasm. "When I get bigger, I want to leave Mongolia and see the world."

That made him quite different from his parents, who preferred to stay within the country's borders and stay out of any affairs outside them. Until Enkh was fully grown, he was under their house, under their rules. He was allowed a trip away from the herd once a week, either for a visit to the bookstore or to practice speaking with tourists. His uncle Usuh would accompany him on these trips, to keep an eye on him and make sure he stayed out of trouble.

As for Leah, she was more interested in Enkh's shapeshifter heritage. "Can you turn into a horse like your mom and dad?" she asked him.

He proceeded to surprise her as he stepped outside, stripped down, and turned into a colt. He pranced around on skinny, knobbly legs, his coat as red as his father's. He tripped on his own front legs and almost fell forward, but caught himself on time with a meek sweep of his tail.

"When did he first shift?" Leah asked.

Ganbold, who had been watching his son with me and Leah, said, "When he was three years old."

"That early?" she blurted out in disbelief. "The youngest wolf in my tribe was thirteen. I don't know anyone who shifted before puberty."

"That is true among us full-blooded shapeshifters. Tsermaa and I believe that Enkh's mixed blood makes him shift sooner than usual. But because the ability is triggered so early, containing all that energy still takes getting used to."

I glanced up at him. "If you don't mind me asking, how was it possible for you and your wife to have Enkh?"

He gave me a smile. "I don't mind at all. Your curiosity's to be expected. There hasn't been anyone like him before, as far as I know." Then he sighed and ran fingers through his long braids. "Well, Alec, I admit to not being a learned man of science, so I'm afraid I can't tell you much on that end. But I do have an educated guess...it's a given that a human male is unable to procreate with an immortal female, but a shapeshifter male...I think that's the contributing factor. I suppose that my shape-changing genes had changed Tsermaa's body itself, making it possible for her to bear a child."

"What makes you think that?" I asked, intrigued to hear more.

"She turned back into a human during the time she bore Enkh."

That took me by surprise. "I haven't heard of such a thing."

"I haven't either, until I saw her with my own eyes. For the first time in hundreds of years, and for a few months, she was able to eat, sleep, and do everything a human could, for better or for worse. After Enkh was born, her body returned to its frozen, immortal state."

"I see..." I murmured. Enkh's existence upended everything my sister and I had long believed to be true, that our kind couldn't propagate beyond the curses of our venomous bites. I wondered what this would mean for Jane and Seth's futures now.

Ganbold let out a piercing whistle, which I took to be a signal to come inside, as Enkh stopped prancing around and trotted back to us.

Leah and I remained outside to let the boy change back into his clothes, and to watch out for our siblings' return.

"It's well past sunset and they're not back yet." Leah crossed her arms and frowned. "You think something might've happened?"

I probed my mental link with Jane, and shook my head. "All is well. In fact, my sister is calmer now than before. That must be Seth's doing."

"You can tell, huh? I guess that's like how we wolves share thoughts when we run on four legs."

"Something like that."

"You two have been together for a long time...at least a thousand years, right? What's that like?" She studied me, struggling to grasp the concept when imagination failed her.

"It was all we had ever known. At least, until Jane met Seth."

"And how do you feel, now that my brother's in the picture?"

Leah had a way of putting up a blunt front with her curiosity. I didn't know anyone in the Volturi like that. No one I knew had her frankness and easy confidence. I looked up, as if to search for the answer among the stars. "If I have to be honest, I suppose I'm like Enkh...still getting used to the change. Not that I think less of Seth's character—I have never met someone more worthy to be my sister's partner. He makes her happy, and her happiness is what I care about the most. It's just that for the longest time, I've been the only significant other in her life. Jane and I had never taken any mates during our service to the Volturi, you see. We were always together—not in the romantic sense, of course—but as close together as family could be, especially when all we had left in the world was each other. Our dedication to serving the coven is a factor as well. Neither of us had ever taken a fancy to anyone. All that changed when a certain mission required Jane to go alone, away from me, and led her to Seth. Everything changed for her, anyway."

"What about you, Alec? Now that you're no longer with the Volturi, you're free to do whatever you want. You ever thought about...you know, finding a partner of your own?" Leah glanced down at her bare feet. "Sorry if that's too personal."

"No need to apologize. It crossed my mind a few times, but only to ask myself if it's truly necessary."

"What do you mean?"

I frowned. "Well, I never feel as if I'm missing something in my life. The love for my sister, having Goro as a father figure, and the new friendships I made with you and Seth, are rewarding and fulfilling in of themselves. I don't feel like I need 'something more' than that." I folded my arms across my chest and leaned against the felt wall of the ger. "Aro and Caius, my former masters, used to tease relentlessly about finding me a suitable mate, since I had never went out of my way to pursue one. Meanwhile I had watched many of my fellow guards take and drop countless mates, like tossing out old clothes and trying on new ones. I didn't understand any of it. I didn't see the appeal. And this is coming from someone who was routinely surrounded by fellow vampires: creatures who are incredibly attractive and seductive by nature. I never felt the pull of that attraction, when everyone else seems to be dragged around like magnets. Sometimes I'd wonder if something is wrong with me."

I had never opened this much to anyone besides my sister, who didn't need me to speak for her to understand my thoughts and feelings, anyway. Perhaps Leah's honesty was rubbing off on me. I looked up, and I was taken aback by the knowing smile on her face.

"Ah, I get what your deal is."

"What?"

"You're ace."

I blinked at her. "I'm what?"

"You're asexual. You don't experience any sexual attraction."

I knitted my brow. "I've never heard of such a thing. Is that something to be corrected?"

"No, not at all. You're fine just the way you are."

"Is that so?"

"Hell yeah. I'm willing to bet that Jane will tell you the same thing, if she hasn't already."

She hadn't told me, but she didn't need to. My sister had never pushed me to find a mate, nor had she ever teased me for "being broken," so that was her way of expressing what Leah had just told me. Jane's respect for me earned her my own respect.

"Your knowledge of this asexuality...are you speaking from personal experience?"

Leah shook her head. "Nah. That's from our modern understanding of the whole idea. As for me, I like girls." A chuckle sounded from behind her closed lips. "You're the first one to know outside my family. I'm kind of jealous of you, Alec. You've known for hundreds of years where you stand. You just didn't know the name for it until now. I took a while to come around. I used to date a guy from the rez, Sam. I was a mess after he left me for another girl. I haven't dated since, and I longed for getting back what I had before with Sam. But then I'd see the way Seth looks at Jane, and the way he thinks of her when we run around as wolves...I realized that I never had such strong feelings for Sam. I'd been in love with the idea of being with him." She sighed and muttered, "Sorry if I'm rambling."

"You heard me out, so I ought to do the same for you."

"Thanks. Anyway, there aren't a lot of girls my age in La Push, and I've lived there my whole life. So when I left home, my world got so much bigger." She cracked a grin at me. "I'm telling you, Alec, college is packed with cute girls."

The delight at her discovery was infectious, and I couldn't help returning the smile. "I'm glad you could come to better terms with yourself."

"Me too. And not just that...I've found a love in other things, too. I used to hate shifting back and forth. I saw it as a curse in my blood. I wanted a stable, normal life, and that's what pushed me to go to college. But then I came here to Mongolia with you all, and got to run the fastest and hardest I ever had...for the first time in my life, I love being a wolf."

"You certainly looked like you were truly enjoying yourself."

"Weren't you too? When you rode with me, didn't you feel free, like you could fly?"

"I did." I thought back to the race, how it felt being on the back of the fastest wolf on earth. To run at such speed had frightened me at first, but the initial fright ebbed away at the face of Leah's unbridled joy. I thought of Ganbold and Enkh, who'd been always ahead of us, and that for all of Leah's swiftness, she still couldn't outrun them. She must have been thrilled to meet her match, to strive for running even faster than what she thought possible. I was not the competitive sort like her, but when we moved like a single entity, flying together over the grass, I shared her delight in how weightless we felt.

Jane and Seth returned to us at sunrise. I could tell they had washed themselves at a nearby river. The wind hadn't been enough to fully dry out their hair, which was still glistening and pointed at the ends. And the water hadn't been enough to wash off the telltale scent of what had kept them away the whole night.

Leah and I chose to keep a tactful silence, but when Tsermaa threw back the tent flap and stepped out to greet them, she was beside herself with glee.

"Well, well, well, it seems like you two had fun with that kind of riding all night."

Seth turned so red that his face took on the color of raw meat. Jane seemed to channel fascination into the tips of her boots.

"How would you know that?" she asked, trying hard but failing not to sound so defensive.

Tsermaa snorted. "Don't be coy with me. I can smell the mating musk all over you two. I'd know it from a mile away. Of course I would know—I've been sleeping with a shapeshifter myself for three hundred years. If you thought that bathing in a river would hide the evidence, you are dead wrong."

As soon as Tsermaa mentioned "mating," Seth blushed even harder, while Jane looked like she wanted to crawl in a hole with the marmots and never come back out.

"We're sorry to keep you waiting," he said sheepishly.

Tsermaa waved a hand. "No need to say sorry when you've accomplished what I expected of you."

Jane looked up and met her eyes then. "We did? What do you mean?"

"I needed you four to get acquainted with the special closeness and unity that comes with riding together. I also wanted you to stir up that deep-seated yearning of your spirit, its longing to run wild and free from the body it's trapped in." Tsermaa's golden gaze flitted between me and my sister. "For you two who haven't believed in souls and spirits for so long, the best way I could get you to believe is to feel that yearning."

"So Jane was right," Seth murmured. "You were preparing us for spirit-roaming."

The Mongolian vampire tilted her head thoughtfully. "To that end, it seems that the race had worked best for Leah and Alec, while you and Jane simply required another avenue to suit your...needs. I didn't consider it, let alone suggest it, but it's only natural that you feel strongly enough for each other to take the initiative."

Seth and Jane managed tiny, meek smiles at her approval. Hope glimmered in my sister's golden eyes. "Are we ready, then? Will you teach us spirit-roaming?"

Tsermaa saw how that hope surged like a current from Jane to the rest of us. "Yes, I believe you four are ready."