Made a bit of change. Instead of 2 years, the time skip from the awakening is of 2 weeks due to canon.
Should I try something more… effective?"
"I don't think it won't matter, though."
As those words left my mouth, my mind wavered back in action. Black water, venomous and lethal to the body, was moving back and forth, here and there, left and right to avoid the ice growing around it.
Every time it attempted to come closer, a wall of frosty snow was ready to clash with its body and block its rush, saving me from certain death.
My fight with the Black Serpent's venom's remnants began a couple of days ago and I already can't stand it.
What's up with this black goo? This damned stuff keeps going between the things I eat, crawling on my back while I shower, and attacking while I sleep. That's the whole pack of annoyance if you ask me.
Anyway, it has been three months since my awakening. I still can't believe it has happened, this stuff about going back in time. I feel incredibly strange, too. I feel like all of this isn't really happening and that I'll wake up soon, but I'm still trapped here, in the middle of this horrible dream.
If I blink, nothing would happen. If I scream, no one will hear me. If I cry, no one will hug me. If I die, no one will remember me.
It's melancholic to the point of being depressing and stressful. If I fail in my mission, the world will still be destined for destruction. The lands of the Od Lagna will be covered in ash. The sky will dye red and set aflame. The people will be the fuel for terror and desperation, and their blood will paint the grass burning under their feet.
Something like that is inevitable if the course of events is left unchanged. If Subaru dies permanently, Satella would set free her shadows to drown every survivor in darkness.
Only thinking about it makes me tremble and suffocate for oxygen. Every time that day crosses my mind, my heart starts hammering in my chest. Should I be more careful? Should I plan even more my future? What should I do? What do I have to do?
—Suddenly, a wall of ice was erected in front of me, blocking a splash of venom from reaching me. The noise had been loud enough to snap my attention into focus.
"I don't think that those acids are good for your skin."
"You're right, they are better for you."
"Hey! That's rude! And what for? I'll become a puddle made of spirit, you know."
"That's why it's better for you."
"What am I getting roasted for…?"
Puck had not been an amazing father, nor of amazing help. He's re~ally lucky that I'm patient. But I had plans that would require his presence, after all.
Melakuera will come here. No matter how much I struggle, he's too strong. His flames would completely engulf me and destroy my body before I even notice it, leaving my soul to set its journey to the Hall of Memories.
My strength didn't amount to anything compared to monsters like him, Roswaal, or Cecilus. That's why I still need Puck by my side. He's of vital help in this kind of situation. I can't even hope to reach that level of skill, because I'm not as proficient in battle as them.
—As if conscious of my cloudiness, the venom tried for the umpteenth time to eat my flesh with its liquid body. I easily dodged the strike and unleashed a gale of frost against its mass, freezing a great deal of it. Puck quickly assisted my attack with a torrent even bigger than mine.
It was game over for the venom. It can't any longer escape our grasp. Its mass was already half composed of glassy snow, by now reflecting the sun of the morning.
Taking advantage of that, I let myself drown in thoughts. I already planned nearly everything about my future. Well, nearly everything. There's something that I have much trouble solving.
How can I reconstruct my relationship with Subaru? During our, well, relationship, he has always been the one to always praise me and flirt with me. I have barely done anything…
How do girls of my age flirt, anyway? By hugging them? By praising them? By giving them presents? By spending time with them? By showing their interest in them? By talking with them?
"You shouldn't think about guys already, you're making me jealous."
Ugh. I forgot that this guy could read memories. But now that I notice it, the venom had now become a grotesque statue of snow. At least he did a good job.
"Well, thank you for the treat."
"…Do you ever shut up?"
"My comedy side is my forte, you know."
"I can easily guess that..."
Maybe giving him attention is the wrong action. That guy keeps talking from dawn till nightfall. It's so damn annoying. But I'd feel bad if I told him to get lost. After all, he has no one to talk to besides me.
"I have friends, just to let you know."
"For example?"
"Well… an artificial spirit living with a clown—I know both of them—and, uhh…"
"But they never visited us or anything…"
"I have friends, you got it?!"
We just stood there and looked at each other for a couple of seconds. The moment later, we burst out laughing. It's even funnier how my laugh seems distant. It felt like it never happened. I felt this feeling so many times, but I can't get used to it.
—Wait. Stay focused, Emilia. I have to stay focused. Letting myself drown between reminiscences would only make me lose touch with reality. I can't escape from the real world; I have to accept it. Just as I accepted my silver hair, I accepted to be silver-haired; just I accepted my purple eyes, I accepted to be purple-eyed; just as I accepted my heritage as a half-elf, I accepted to be me.
Looking at my surroundings, I couldn't keep myself from smiling. Seeing the snow on these trees calmed me. The pieces of ice falling from the branches, the rustle of animals running on the boughs, reaching its peak; it's something that takes a heartless person to not warm up at it.
Maybe, I can make myself comfortable here. I could even stay longer. I met a couple of builders without prejudice back in the days. Maybe, if I asked gently, they would build a decent house. I learned a couple of things from Anastasia, too, so maybe I can make a good amount of money. The only problem is my face, but that's easy to hide. Then, when I set up everything for good, I could live with Subaru, and… you know… have a family and stuff.
"…Ptff."
I brought a fist in front of my mouth, restraining my chuckle. It's so silly how I wanted so much. It's really sweet how I could only think of a flawless life.
After all, where's the Royal Selection? Where's the liberation of the Sanctuary? Where's the battle of Pristiella? Where's the conquest of the Pleiades Watchtower?
I'm Being way too greedy. But that's nice, in its way. Subaru taught me that it's fine to search for others' happiness but unhealthy to not seek your own. You can't make someone else glad if you're not happy as well.
"Hugh… I'm tired. It's time to sleep."
"I'll leave the way back up to you. Beware of strangers!"
"Don't worry, I'm strong enough to take care of myself."
"Ho~h. My apprentice has grown so much… it truly brings a tear to my face."
"You never taught me anything, though…"
He simply giggled at my response and waved at me, vanishing once again. Stretching my arms, I sighed. He always had a comical manner of doing things. After all, it reminded me that, deep down, he cared for me. He had a toxic way of showing it, but his help was necessary on many occasions.
But I don't have any intention of warming up with him. He has to learn a special lesson; it's to not toy with people's emotions for your gain. But unfortunately, I'm sure he'll never learn it. He's a spirit stuck in his morals for centuries. For him, I'm just a six-year-old telling good and bad to an elder.
My footsteps were leaving really cute marks on the snow, now that I notice it. Should I… yeah, no one is looking anyway.
My hand brought a piece of snow and put it over a pile of it. Bringing another dose, I patched them together to form its shape.
Taking another portion, I mended them together to carve its identity.
Carrying another amount, I fiddled them together to create its image.
Amassing another lot, I mold them together to establish their structure.
I patted the sides, the corners, and the walls of it to perfect the smoothness of its nooks. I fixed the imperfections, the errors, and the mistakes I made in the making.
I carefully filled it up with the utmost number of colors I could ever use. Pyrogene Crystals, flowers, rocks, wood chunks; anything I could find was used for my sculpture.
And here it is. A "snou mahn" (as Subaru called it) of Guese. I miss him so much. I felt really bad when I discovered that Subaru killed him. I went even as far as to yell at him. I shouldn't have done it. Though, I think anyone would get angry if they found out that the killer of their father figure was the person they trusted the most.
For tomorrow, I could make one sculpture of Fortuna. And the day after tomorrow, one of Archie. And the day after tomorrow's tomorrow, one of Subaru. And the day after tomorrow's tomorrow's tomorrow, one of Garfiel. Then one of Otto, one of Beatrice, one of Ram, one of Rem, one of Ryuzu, one of Meili, one of Petra, one of Roswaal, one of Frederica, one of Anastasia, one of Julius, one of Ricardo, one of Hetaro, one of Mimi, one of Tivey, one of Ricardo, one of Priscilla, one of Aldebaran, one of Schult, one of Crusch, one of Felix, one of Wilhelm, one of Felt, one of Reinhard, and lastly one of Shaula.
Am I being a bit greedy? Desiring this much is really out of character. Is it possible to be even more greedy? Am I surpassing the boundaries of greediness? Am I? Or am I not?
I definitely need to sleep. This inner monologue is getting tiring.
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Little blue balls dancing in the air. Jumping from left to right, while dancing in the air. The glassy ice reflected their delightful light while they danced in the air. They kept on dancing. Dancing and dancing. They danced to amuse me, to make me laugh, to make me smile, to make me feel better.
Those were, indeed, lesser spirits I contracted. Puck, once again, offered me to contract some of them and refusing seemed unnecessary.
Ugh, my back is a bit sore. Muscle ache accompanied me since a month ago. But I have to train myself. I have to prepare myself for the unpredictable.
Because of the contract we made with Roswaal at the Sanctuary, something that goes beyond time and space, he won't be able to send Elsa to retrieve my insignia. The Witchbeasts won't even attack us anymore. The only problem might be the White Whale and the Witch Cult, but I have more than enough time to deal with them.
But I have to beware of danger nonetheless. The Gospels in the hand of the Witch Cult are the fruition of The Tome of Wisdom, the Authority of the Witch of Greed. Authorities are powers capable of twisting reality, positioning them above anything concrete and visible. The bending of time must've changed the missions and objectives written in those forsaken books.
Damn it. Thinking about it is discouraging my will. But I have to continue. Even if it hurts, even if I want to cry, even if I want to scream, even if I want to stop, I have to continue. I'll steel my resolve and continue.
"…What would Subaru say if he saw me like this?"
Most likely "Mili looks cuter than usual!" or something along the line. But he could say "Mili is so hardworking! EMM!" or "I might fall in love with you all over again by how cool you've become!".
"My apprentice is already thinking about boys in the morning…"
My smile instantly turned into a sore expression. My change of behavior was so sudden that even I was surprised. Maybe I should be more conscious of my actions… but not with that stupid cat.
"Just to let you know, I have immense knowledge between my spiritual brains."
"I don't think there's enough of it."
"What do you mean by that? Ask anything, I'll prove you."
"Anything?"
"Uh-uh."
"Anything anything?"
"Mh-mh."
"Anything anything anything?"
"Just ask already?!"
A smug quickly painted itself on my lips. I closed my eyes and slightly hung down my head, and then joined my hands together, as if in prayer. It's finally my turn to tease him back.
"Tell me… how can I make you shut up?"
"Mmmm… good question."
"…What? You are serious?"
"Wait, I'm thinking."
He was actually thinking pretty hard. A vein is even popping out of his fur (how is that even possible?). He was still thinking. Thinking and thinking. Thinking so hard that I even started to feel guilty for asking such a thing.
—Wait, was it his plan? To make me feel guilty? Oh no, mister, that won't work! No more of that manipulating!
"Damn, you got me."
"…You were reading my thoughts instead of thinking about the answer?"
"You caught me with my hands in the bag. Though, I still don't know why you got angry."
"—Damn it! Think Puck, think! Think with your loaf! If you catch someone fantasizing, you'll make them uncomfortable for sure!"
I brought a finger from each hand on the sides of my head, just to give more power to my opinion. Puck has to listen now, or else.
"Till now, I saw a reaction only from you."
"…That's admitting of being recluse."
Puck's smug quickly turned into an incredulous face. He must haven't calculated a possible counter. Well, it sucks to be him. I'll make him taste his own medicine. It's time for vengeance. I got teased every day without the chance of counterattack. Now, It's the time! It's time for rebellion! It's time to prove my worth and my resolve!
"Ptff—Ahahaha!!"
"Ugh…"
Damn it. My emotions made me forgot he could read thoughts. Oh my, this is embarrassing. Can't the snow just swallow me…? You know what, I'll just go back to sleep. Being awake is too much of a hassle.
But his laughs are way too loud. Can't he stop laughing? It's getting annoying. Really annoying.
"Stop! Laughing!"
He wouldn't stop. No—his laughs even became louder. Louder and louder. Wait, it's becoming way too loud. Loud and loud. My head is shaking. My vision is shaking. My thoughts are shaking.
Louder and louder. His laughs kept getting louder. It's becoming unbearable. Unbeatable and even more unbearable. My ears felt like exploding. My brain began to quiver. My body started losing strength.
Louder and louder. His laughs came to be frustrating. Frustrating and frustrating. Frustrating. Frustrating and even more frustrating. Why won't he stop? My head is tripping.
"Stop laughing…?!"
I'm suffocating. I can't breathe. It's as if my lungs are blocked. I can't speak. I can't scream. I can't do anything. I can't breathe. I simply can't.
The laughs are echoing in my insides. The laughs are reverberating in my skull. The laughs are ringing my timpani. Ringing. Ringing and ringing. Reverberating. Reverberating and reverberating. Echoing. Echoing and echoing.
I'm screaming. Am I screaming? I can't scream. I can't hear my voice between these laughs. I'm trying to scream amid these goddamn laughs. I'm continuing screaming in the midst of these forsaken laughs. I feel lips parting, but can't feel my lungs vibrating. My body isn't following my commands.
I slowly lost myself. My limbs were limp. My heart beats harder by second, leaving its hammering sound chiming in my chest. My eyes are wavering and watering, making me see a distorted reality.
And then, darkness.
And quickly after,
"Stop laughing!"
This was my response. The response that left my mouth a minute ago. What is happening? I got a look at my surroundings in disbelief. Nothing was out of place besides the confused look Puck gave me.
"What's the deal, Emilia?"
"N-nothing."
Not even waiting for Puck's response, I quickly rushed outside. I made my way to a near rivulet of water and started up washing my face. A couple of bunnies are skimming on the water in the distance, helping me ease the tumultuous whirlwind of emotions unleashing in my heart.
"Emilia? Are you alright?"
I ignored him and began pondering about what happened. It's not the first time. When I seem to go through a panic attack, my consciousness seems to darken, but I suddenly find myself in the exact moment it started. What scares me is how fine I felt every time. It's like it never occurred, to begin with.
I think it's a good thing. There were times when I felt I was going to break, to then mysteriously feel better. It doesn't even take much time to figure out the culprit. It's the Witch. Maybe she can't stand a puppet that breaks too easily. At least, it's an advantage for both of us. If my will won't ever waver, then saving everyone isn't impossible.
"Emilia…?"
"I'm alright, I'm alright. You don't have to worry."
"If you say so. Call my name if you need help."
And like always, he left in his way of fashion. Once again, I was left alone. Still, I have my things to do, just like him. He must be out there, trying to keep away the fragments of Melakuera away from me. He's really throughout into what he does.
What can I do now? I already cleaned the statues and concluded my training for today. Wait! I could visit the village! Even if only for food, it's a good excuse to go in there.
In a couple of seconds, I was already on the main route for the nearest village, for now, I only walked through it. It may take quite a while, though. What could I do to pass some time? Mmmh…
I… um… I could… err…
I don't know what to think about. My mind feels blank and… empty. It's like I'm not thinking at all. It's like drifting in the water. You'll only feel the flowing of the water, your body sinking in its hug, but that's it. It's simple as that. I have nothing to worry about in the present, besides Melakuera, and nothing to deal with at the moment.
It's a refreshing feeling of calmness if I have to put it into better words. I may be extremely full of problems in the future, but now… it's just me and my calmness. Calmness and calmness.
Oh! I'm near the draft where I built Juice's snowman. Maybe, you know, I could build Fortuna's one just to give Juice a bit of company. It won't hurt to delay my arrival of the minutes, won't it?
Suddenly, something entered my vision.
—A pile of snow. A pile of snow. A pile of snow that had previously a shape has fallen. A pile of snow that had previously a form has been destroyed. A pile of snow that had previously an identity has been razed. A pile of snow that had previously a structure has been eradicated.
Its decorations were torn into pieces and parts. Its hairs, made by leaves, have been stomped and tromped. Its everything has been disfigured and made unrecognizable. Its everything has been tarnished and maimed. Its everything has been spoiled and deformed.
Juice's statue has been destroyed.
Confusion took over me in a second, and my calmness began to abscond. My rage followed quickly after, to then mix with the wariness of my character. What could it be? What could it possibly have been? A witchbeast? A villager? A snowstorm? An animal? Maybe I build it badly? What could it be? What could it possibly have been?
Suddenly, the realization got me. It was the day the bandits attacked me. And their first destination has been… the village…
I took off running.
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"Well, well! What do we have here!"
The wind howled, the snow compacted, and the branches rustled. The people froze on spot, the animals run in hiding, and the wheels of a cage stopped in place. A man grinned, another man grinned, while other many grinned. A woman cowered, a kid sneaked away, and many other closed the doors of their home. While the world around this village changed, that raucous voice made the winds tremble once again.
"If it's not our favorite village! You know, you're always so nice! You never missed the "protection" fee!"
"Yeah!"
He had scars all over his face. He wore the raw, skinned fur of animals, who most likely met their demise because of this man. He was at the head of his crew, practically demonstrating his leadership. His clothes were messy and ragged, but he seemed to pay no mind to that.
His men pompously follow his back, looking menacingly at the villagers.
But, now that it comes to mind, why are they carrying a wheeled cage? Is it for keeping the goods in a safer place? If so, what kind of goods?
"Now, now… enough of banter. It's time to pay."
The same man, with his prideful and arrogant way of talking, couldn't resist the urge of making himself bigger. He walked in the middle of the crowd, going dangerously near the women and kids. Seemingly satisfied with his act, he made his way to the village chief.
"Don't make us wait, old man. We can't waste our time on things like those. We have better stuff to do, right guys?!"
To the command of that scary, frightening man, his companions began to laugh in great cheer. Their eyes were filled with lust and wickedness. What kind of desires are clouding the minds of these men to make them look so gourmand and heinous in my eyes?
The poor chief was quivering in place. He was darting his eyes everywhere but ahead of him, consecutively spreading an annoyed look on the face of his predator.
"W-well, you see… this season had been less fruitful than ever before, a-and… we, we weren't able... to… provide the money…"
"Ohhh~! So, you're gonna play that card."
"—Nghh~!"
What welcomed next was a punch directly to the chief's guts. But it wasn't the end. Another punch in his ankle. A kick on his leg. Having bent into a fetal position, the chief wrapped his arms around his head, a last hopeless attempt to protect himself. What welcome next was a sole on his face. And another kick. And another punch. And another kick. And another punch.
"I, hate, people, like, you, you know!"
"Mercy, I beg… —mercy!"
With each word, another kick was sent on his defenseless body, which was growing more bloodied by the second. His face was swollen, and his legs didn't even seem able to support themselves any longer.
"You think you are smart?! You think you are cunning?!"
"Please, stop this nonsense! I beg forgiveness!"
The people around them were stuck in place from fear. Don't get them wrong, some of them had the heart to think of helping the chief, but not the courage to go against these wolves in human clothing. But, only their fear is justified, not their resolve.
Suddenly, one of them led his eyes toward the people around us. He kept observing and examining until we suddenly made eye contact; I instinctively hugged my mother tighter. His eyes then drifted to my mother's. How could I tell? Her arms clasped me even closer to her.
That man seemed to be in thought, and after some time, he walked toward one of his comrades, starting a silent conversation. Seemingly nodding in understanding, both of them got near that violent man.
After exchanging a couple of words, even his eyes, or its eyes, landed on me. Those eyes filled me with an impure, wicked sense of stress. I don't want him to look in my way. I want him to look elsewhere. Don't look at me, don't look at me. Don't look at me.
Don't look at me.
That lips, whose shape had been curved upward in anger, loosened and molded downward, leading to a terrifying smile full of desire.
His heels turned backward, driving the tips of his shoes in our direction. Slowly, but steadily, his pace brought him before me and my family. My daddy was beside mommy, keeping her under his arm, while I snuggled behind my mommy's leg.
That wolf brought his arm in the air and pointed his index toward my daddy. Following his silent order, a couple of his men attacked my daddy, pinning him to the ground. He raged, he tried to resist, he tried to free himself but to no avail.
"What do we have here? Newcomers?! Why didn't you tell me?!"
No one breathed. Laughter echoed.
"Well, whatever. However, you should always prepare a welcoming party, you know?"
No one responded. Chuckles echoed.
"But you don't even have enough money to pay us out… how can we prepare something like that with no money?"
No one answered. Snickers echoed.
"What about paying with something that's not money? For example…"
That treacherous hand brought itself toward mommy. It glided on her shoulder to then tightly clasp it. He brought her closer to him and began looking at her in a new manner. But, not the same wicked or lustful eyes of before. His eyes observed her arms, her chest, her bosom, her face, and then her thighs—
We made eye contact.
His smile widened as if a great idea crossed his brain. His hand let loose of my mommy's arm. She instinctively made distance between her and that wolf, keeping me between her fingers. But,
"For example, you can give me that kid."
My eyes widened. Did he want me as a payment? Do people do that kind of thing? Mommy told me that people who kidnap kids do something called "rape". But she wouldn't explain that to me. Is it something, that, hmmm… do they stuff your mouth with sugar?
"No… no, no! I won't give you! my child! I'd rather be the bitch of that dirty nobility instead!"
"Sorry, my lady, but that kid will fetch us a lot of money. Nowadays, kids sell at a high price and trust me, those pigs would pay any price for them."
I don't know what they are talking about. Me fetching a lot of money? Pigs paying prices? The world is really filled with wonder!
"Over my dead—"
"No problem."
He flickered his fingers, and I heard clangor, typical of metal snapping out of place.
My mommy bent over. Her shoulder stood limp. Her arm loosened. It's as if her body was blocked in time.
And then, she fell to the ground.
There's an arrow in her head. It doesn't make sense.
"Mommy…?"
I only saw arrows on hunters. They use them to kill their prey.
"Mommy, mommy?!"
It can't be.
"Mommy, mommy! Mommy! Wake up! Mommy… mommy…"
Her eyes are cloudless.
"Mommy. Mommy. Mommy… mommy! Mommy… mommy?!"
I shook her, I pinched her, desperately trying to wake her. It won't work. Her skin is pale. She is cold.
Please wake up. Mommy, wake up. Why wouldn't you wake up? Wake up. Wake up. Why aren't you waking up?
"She's dead, little one. She's dead."
His voice whispered those words to me. It was simply hot air, yet it hit me more powerfully than that big monkey could ever do.
I cried. I cried. I'm crying? Am I crying? I'm crying. I'm sure that I'm crying. Everyone would cry in this situation. I'll continue on crying. Crying and crying, till my tears would dry up.
My daddy was screaming and raging. Laughs filled the village. People are stuck in place.
Crying. Screaming. Laughing. Screaming. Laughing. Crying. Crying. Laughing. Screaming. Laughing Screaming. Crying.
I can't take it. I can't take it. I can't take it.
I stood up and clenched my fingers to my palms. I'm feeling strange. There's a flame inside me. It's burning me. It's burning my sanity and flesh, leaving only ashes. What is it called?
——Hate.
I ran toward that murderer. I'll punch him. I'll punch him to death. I'll punch him. I screamed and raged in fury, getting closer to him.
"Pttf~ AHAHAHA!! Look at this kid, who—"
"Yaahh!"
I threw a punch at him. He didn't even bulge.
"It tickles."
"Shut up!"
I spit on his shoe.
"That's for what you did to mo—!"
A slap connected with my right cheek. All the energy in my legs suddenly drained. My resolve, which was previously blooming into a flickering and sparkling flame of hate, began to dissolve. My courage disappeared. Same for my determination. Same for my intentions. Same for my devotion.
And another slap.
Why are you doing this? Did I anger you? I won't do that ever again, I promise.
Another slap.
Seriously, which at was I thinking? Why was I making such a fuss about things like that? Silly me, every time putting myself in trouble.
I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I don't wanna do this anymore. I'm sorry. I won't do that anymore. I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so sorry. I'll be a good kid. I'll behave. Please, don't hurt me—because it hurts. Please. Please.
"I hate kids. They yell and complain all day without doing anything. The worst part of it is that it takes a good beating to make them get what kind of position they're in."
His pupils fixed onto me, a look of maniacal glee spreading on his features. He gestured to one of his men, who rapidly made his way to us.
"What do I have to do now, Chip?"
"Bring a torch, I got the most fun idea in a while."
"Sure, give me a second."
This vile man, that was named Chip—what a horrible name anyway—stared deeply at my face and body, filling me with dread. He brought his fingers to my eyes, touched my nose if to understand its shape, caressed my lips, and made a nod of approval. I tried to resist, but our difference in strength can't even be compared.
"Tell me, how old are you?"
"——"
"Not gonna talk, huh?"
"——"
"Fine, I'll go with six years."
"… It's seven."
"Good, now follow me."
It doesn't even require saying that I had zero intention to obey him, but he doesn't need my approval to bring me somewhere. He was dragging me from my arm, my body gliding on the snow. My back hurts. I sometimes hit a rock or a piece of ice, shredding my clothes. Even when I stuck my heels in the hoar, Chip had to simply put more force in the hand clenching my arm.
Where was he going? Where was he going to bring me? Even I'm curious, I can't use my eyes to guess the answer. I'd had to turn my belly down, and I'm sure that would hurt me badly. But still, the anxiety is building up. I'm afraid. Even my tears had dried up, leading my consciousness in the depths of submissiveness.
I don't know what's going to happen. Am I going to be fine? Is mommy going to be fine? Is daddy going to be fine? What's going on? Why is this all happening? Why does fate bring such blasphemy to me and those around me?
——What a stupid question. Why am I even questioning how fate works? Why am I giving faults to something nonexistent? Why am I clinging to the fruitless mentality of innocence and delicacy? If this is all happening, it's only because it's happening. Questioning why fate brings such misfortune sometimes is like questioning why you breathe, why you eat, or why you live. In simple words, it's just going against common sense.
Yet, I can't do anything else. Whatever is falling in the depths of fear or courage, my mind follows something that I never experienced before. What is it called, a feeling that brings me to the edges of sanity, but however, in an imaginary longing for persistence, it builds a wall separating me from insanity?
Dread? Fear? Courage? Vigor? Terror?
Why can't I guess? Why can't I find the answer? Why does my mouth feel like stuffed with hard meat? Why can't I scream my confusion, my desperate need for answers, my utmost desire for help?
––Wait for a second, why does my mouth feel like stuffed with hard meat?
Something warm, ever so slightly flowing between my teeth, was gorging inside my mouth, lessening the pain from my cheek. Something made my ears ring. Is it a scream? I can't quite figure out it. My legs suddenly, with newfound energy, sprinted forward, toward a direction I can't see.
My eyes can't focus. My mind seems to mush all over whenever I put some thoughts on my actions. What's going on? What's going on? What's going on?
In the wake of such an uncontrollable body, my hands grasped something heavy. Its surface was cold, hard, and rusted. I'm surprised I can even lift it. Normally, something this heavy is off-limits to my weak body, yet I never felt such strength flow between the hundred of thousands of fibers of my muscles.
Without losing a bit, I continued running forward. Running and running, toward the objective of my true self. I never run so fast. I never felt so strong. I never felt so…
So…
I never felt so alive. I never felt so invincible.
—But then, my legs halted. My throat ached. My mouth ailed. Breathing—it hurts. I can't take it. If fainting makes this pain stop, then I will gladly do that.
But I won't faint, because I simply can't.
Something red, while flickering and cracking, was dancing in the air. A figure, that I can't quite guess out the shape nor the identity, was controlling the flickering and cracking thing before me, dangerously going near me. The heat from it radiated till where I was. Is it a flame perhaps? Is it a torch? The torch Chip asked from his men?
Then, what is the object in my hands——
A splash of water turned off the blazing fire, wetting and dirtying the clothes of the figure before me. Thus, the thing in my hands had been a bucket full of water.
Suddenly, my lips contorted. My lungs hardened. My cheeks stiffened. My soul deepened in color. My mind blossomed in beauty. I want to say something. My tongue wants to express the feelings of my true self. I want to say something. Can I say it? Can I, really say it? But I'm a kid. I'm new to the world, yet I want to say my opinion. No one is stopping me, besides me that is. Do I say it? Can I say it?
—I'll say it.
I—
I—
I—
"——I don't want any of this! Why do you have to come into our house, and do! As you please!"
It's in that exact moment that my mind finally cleared the fog plaguing my thoughts. The viscous thing flowing in my mouth was blood, the blood of Chip. Seemingly wanting to grasp free, I bit his hand as hard as I could. Hence, I took off running toward the bucket of water, a futile attempt to protect the home I just found. But even so, I won't falter. Even if I'm being pathetic, I'd rather drown in patheticness instead of cowering behind the shadow of others.
That's the person I'll aim at. Someone who, despite the pathetic display of a face hated by others, can stand without any objection toward the unfairness that life brought them. I'll become something like that, I swear.
I swear on the name of Amue Seras.
—And, while I screamed out my thoughts, footsteps neared.
"Did we do something bad to you?! Did we? Did we?!?"
—While I screamed out my beliefs, footsteps neared.
"Why… why?! Tell me whyyyyyyy!"
—Footsteps neared and neared, toward their mark. The air trembled. The earth trembled. While footsteps neared, footsteps neared, even more, leaning closer to their goal.
A kick connected with my abdomen, bending me over. A punch sent me flying over the snow. My nose began to bleed. I even bit my lips, sending my blood running down my chin. It seems that Chip reached me.
"you're not acting tough now, huh?!"
—Footsteps neared.
Just like the old man I felt pity for, I wrapped my arms around my head, a futile attempt to protect myself. Did I look so pathetic in front of others' eyes? Even if that is, that won't excuse how they are doing nothing.
—Footsteps neared.
My skin felt hot, so hot that it was unbearable. I couldn't feel half of my teeth. My eyes got buried by the blood gorging out my wounds.
—Footsteps neared.
I don't like any of this. I wanna return to my mommy, to my mommy's arms. I wanna return to daddy because he'll protect me. I wanna go to bed. I want all of this to be just a nightmare.
—Footsteps neared.
Please, somebody, save me, please. I don't want this. Please. Save me. Help me. Somebody, do something. Mommy… daddy… anyone… please, please… help me.
—Footsteps neared.
That barrage of punches and kicks stopped. In that same instant, the cold chill of the wind washed my face. My clothes were torn open, leaving my body for the world to see... My dad was raging and screaming. I was… wait, what am I doing?
—Despairing. I'm despairing, while footsteps neared.
"You know what, I'll defile you myself! But don't worry, I'll enjoy you to the fullest."
My eyes are looking everywhere but him. I hate him. He scares me. He terrifies me. I want him to stop. I want him to go away. I want him to leave me.
I want him to never show up before me. I hate him. He scares me. I hate him. I hate him. He scares me. He terrifies me—he terrifies me so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much.
—Footsteps neared.
"Huh?! You already accepted your fate? That's star contrast with the face that bit my hand."
"……hy…"
"You said something?! I can't hear you."
"W… why…"
My tongue is all smashed up. I can barely feel it moving in between my teeth and lips. Blood was gouging. My insides feel like they're stuck in my throat, ready to be thrown up. Every breath, every word—they hurt. But, I have to say it. I have to say it.
"Why… are y, you do—ing… this to me…!? Have I, have I… ever done… anything to y—"
"Stop chitchatting bullshit, your voice is upsetting."
My eyes filled with tears. I just wanted to say my opinion, yet he shut me up after everything he has done to me. That's unfair. That's not right. That's unacceptable.
My cries, my sobbing, my whining, whimpering filled the village. It was ugly, it was unsightly and frustrating. I too was upset by that horrible cry. –Yet, I want to cry. Everyone is ugly when they cry. I want to cry. If I can't talk, I'll cry. I'll keep on crying. Crying and crying.
—Footsteps neared.
"Hey, stop this! I can't stand it!"
Words were flowing through my brain in the form of electric stimuli, and to their response, I cried louder.
—Footsteps neared.
"I said stop!"
A dog was yelling his needs. I cried louder, drowning his barking away from my ears.
—Footsteps neared.
"Enough of this!"
His hand spread its fingers and rocketed toward me. It was growing closer. It was inching closer. Closer.
—Footsteps neared.
Even closer. I shut my eyes to brace the imminent impact.
—Footsteps neared.
Closer and closer.
—Footsteps neared.
——The footsteps stopped.
That hand, ready to bring pain to those hit by it, stopped itself. Why? Why? Why?
I brought my eyes toward Chip's arm and opened one of them, my right one to be precise. Another hand, filled with the beauty of a hero, with the dazzling light of a hero, engulfed in the aura of a hero, was the hero that saved me from further harm.
She was—
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Hi.
Yeah, hi.
I know, I know. I said in a few days I'd publish an Interlude. Well... I'm lazy, okay?
I had intentions of finishing this chapter last week, but Deltarune Chapter 2 got out and HOOOOO BOY if I had to play it. I was waiting years for that shit.
When I feel like it, I'll write chapter 3. When I feel like it, that is.