Alex refuses to believe what she is seeing is real.

Her anxiety has gotten her again. The situation with Casey has her so worried and worked up that her mind is playing tricks on her.

It's a much more likely explanation than the person she has wished to see more than anything else is actually standing in front of her.

She only knows it's real when somehow she's made herself stand and made her legs carry her across the room to the Olivia imposter. She wraps her arms around her, being mindful of the arm that is in a sling.

She would know the feel of Olivia anywhere; it's really her.

She's crying too hard to form words. Olivia returns the embrace as tightly as she can with one good arm, repeating Alex's name again unsurely.

Alex is unaware of how long they stay in this embrace, but suddenly they are seated on the bed. Heather is gone and the door is closed, no doubt to give them privacy.

"Olivia," Alex sobs, and Olivia takes her hand and tightly clasps it together with her own. She's not making eye contact with Alex, but her cheeks are wet with tears and she's unable to form coherent words.

"I missed you so much," Alex sobs again, throwing herself into her wife's arms again. "I wanted to be with you everyday."

"I'm so glad you are okay," Olivia finally finds her voice, closing her eyes against the fresh set of incoming tears.

"Are you okay?" Alex pulls away and looks her wife over. The fact that Olivia won't look her in the eyes is not lost on Alex, but she chooses not to dwell on it.

"I'm fine," Olivia says, forcing a small smile and giving Alex the slightest glance. "Just a little roughed up."

Alex doesn't push it any further and runs her hand down Olivia's arm before leaning on her chest and breathing in the familiar scent of her wife.

"How did you get away? What happened? Where were you taken?"

It's a lot of questions and Alex is aware of that, but once she has started she can't stop. The need to know how it is possible that Olivia is sitting next to her is overwhelming.

It's a couple minutes before Olivia speaks, and when she does her voice is steady and low. "I was decided to be a level C desirable," she says, and Alex feels her heart lurch. She offers no further information but continues, "I was forced to be a worker. Myself and another woman, Marcie, managed to get twenty five women out of service. Marcie was injured worse than me. She's in another room."

"Out of service?" Alex echoes, her heart and stomach constricting. "I know about what happens to women."

"Not everyone," Olivia corrects. She looks across the room at the wall. "Those who are not desirable - for whatever reason - are made to service in other ways."

"Did they - " Alex swallows, picking Olivia's hand back up. "Did they touch you?"

This time Olivia makes eye contact with Alex, and the sadness and emptiness in her eyes is profound. She doesn't answer, and Alex feels herself die a little inside.

She has so many questions - How did she escape, how badly hurt is Marcie, how many women are being held? But right now is not the time for them, and she resigns to instead hold Olivia in her arms as she falls apart again. Olivia somehow remains stoic, holding it together for Alex.

"Olivia," Alex says, looking at her again. "About Noah -"

Olivia shakes her head. "I can't. Not that. I can't talk about him right now." Her voice breaks and the need in her voice is immense. "Please."

Alex nods in understanding. She keeps a hold of Olivia's hand while Olivia averts her eyes back to the beige wall on the other side of the room.

"We made it back to the house. Marcie and I," Olivia says quietly. "It wasn't there anymore. It - it had been burned down. I thought - "

Alex throws her arms around Olivia and clings to her once again. She can't imagine the sorrow that Olivia had felt - again.

"I'm okay," Alex assures. "Casey helped me get out."

"Casey? She came back?"

"Yeah. I'm glad she did. She…really helped me. We were heading to Chesterfield to find you."

A look of horror overtakes Olivia's face and she takes Alex by the shoulders. "Listen to me. You can never go there. Do you understand? You stay as far away as you can."

"We can go anywhere you want, Liv," Alex says. "As soon as Casey is better. She was hurt pretty badly. We stayed at a church for a few days and thought we could trust the people there. One of them…he attacked Casey. Stabbed her in the stomach. She got a pretty bad infection."

"Is she okay?" Olivia asks, concern evident in her voice.

"I think so," Alex says. "Is your friend okay?"

Olivia looks away again. "Marcie is a fighter. She will be fine."

Alex smiles. "I can't wait to meet her. She's welcome to come with us, Liv. Wherever we decide to go."

Olivia nods and stands up. She clears her throat and runs her hand through her hair, a nervous tic she has always had.

"I'd like to see Casey," Olivia announces, and she leaves the room without anything further, leaving Alex staring after her in concern.

2.

Alex swallows harshly, forcing herself to down the packet of stale crackers and chase it with powdered milk that tastes like it was leftover from the World War 2 era.

She's grateful for Heather and George for letting them stay while Casey recovers and providing them with what little food they had to spare.

They have been there for three days. Marcie was back on her feet following a head injury, and Alex had gotten to know her the past couple of days. Marcie was a few years younger than Olivia, and a very confident and strong woman. She had intense green eyes and dark, wavy hair. Alex liked her right away.

She had told Alex details that Olivia wouldn't. About how she and Olivia met being assigned "custodians" at one of the centers where women were being held. Their duties were mainly cleaning up the blood of women who killed themselves or were killed.

Olivia and Marcie had managed to get in good graces with one of the guards, who granted them more freedom than they should have been allowed. They were able to free almost thirty women - among them teenagers. Their act of heroism did cost some lives, and Alex learned that Olivia killed two men.

Alex knew Olivia would talk about it on her own time. For now she was content to just be with her. It was clear Olivia needed space, and Alex was determined to give it to her no matter what.

Alex had insisted that she and Olivia stay in the same room as Casey. She didn't want to be separated from either of them. They were her family, and now that they were back together Alex knew things would get better.

Casey was in and out of consciousness for the entire three days. Her health was improving, but her pain was unrelenting. Alex and Olivia had spent the past few nights tending to her fevered nightmares and trying to help her pain. None of them slept, as if they could anyway.

No one knew if Casey had actually been aware of Olivia's presence, until on the third day she seemed to be coherent and spoke, startling both Olivia and Alex, who had been sitting on a paper thin mattress on the floor, feeding stale chips to Diego.

"Olivia? Is that really you?"

Alex was the first on her feet, smiling from ear to ear. "Casey! You're back in the land of the living."

As if on cue, Diego jumps onto the bed. Casey grimaces a little as he hits her stomach but she pets him gratefully nonetheless.

"How are you feeling?" Olivia asks, approaching the bed. "And yes, it's really me. We have a lot to catch up on."

Alex sits down on the bed, smiling like a kid at Christmas. For the first time in a long time, she feels like things might be okay. "You still in a lot of pain?"

Casey very carefully touches the wrapping on her stomach and cringes. "It still hurts pretty good, but I'm okay. It's going to take more than some stabs in the gut to take me out."

"You're one tough bitch," Alex says with a laugh. "But I'm so glad you're okay. George says you have to finish out your round of antibiotics before he can let us go, but I think it's safe to say you aren't going to kick it."

They fill Casey in on everything from the past couple of days, and how Olivia ended up ther. Casey is very observant, and the first thing she notices is Olivia's demeanor towards Alex. Alex is always initiating physical contact with her wife, and Olivia is slow to return it. She doesn't look at Alex much, and when she does, it's very distant.

She hopes - for Alex's sake - that she is imagining it.

"I do have something to talk to you two about," Olivia says, clearing her throat. "I was waiting until you had woken up, Casey. Because it concerns all of us."

Four eyes are on Olivia and she knows she has a captive audience.

She goes to a folded pair of jeans on the chair and pulls something out of the pocket. Something made of paper.

"Marcie and I took these from the guard's 'office.' They are bus tickets to a safe town in Pennsylvania."

"A safe town?" Alex asks. "What is that?"

"We had heard some of the guards talking about them. A lot of the guards were not there voluntarily and were looking to get out. Apparently there are some towns across the country that have limited electricity, housing and civilization. They were set up by the National Guard. They take in limited people and are protected by the military so not just anyone can get in. You have to have a pass. I felt a little guilty stealing these, but…"

"And those are passes?" Casey asks, her eyes wide. "Where does the bus leave from?"

"North Lamont, in a week. It's only a couple hours walk." She looks at Casey. "Do you think you'd be able to do it?"

Casey knows it will be a struggle, but she nods. "I can make it."

"If you can't, then none of us go," Alex says sternly. "We're family. We stay together."

Casey smiles at that, and Olivia nods in approval. Her eyes fall on Diego and she frowns. "I don't know if they will allow a dog…"

"We can try," Alex says hopefully, before Olivia can push the subject any further. She watches as Casey looks at the dog and pets him. "All we can do is try."

Casey looks up at Olivia, questions in her eyes. "How do we know this will really happen? You know how hard fuel is to come by. And how do you know this isn't a trap?"

"It's not," Olivia says quickly. "Trust me. And I don't know - nothing is set in stone. But we have to try."

"Does Marcie want to come?" Alex asks suddenly.

The question catches Olivia off guard and she fumbles on the reply. "Marcie has things to attend to," is all she says.

3.

Two nights later, Olivia awakens Casey in the middle of the night.

"I need to talk to you in private. Don't wake Alex."

Casey very slowly and carefully got herself off the bed. The room was almost pitch black, save for the moonlight coming in the blinds. She tiptoes around the mattress and slowly and quietly pads out to the hallway, following Olivia to the front breezeway.

Olivia stops quite a ways in front of Casey, holding the door to the porch open.

"Sorry, I'm slow," Casey apologizes. It hurts immensely to walk. "Give me about a week and I'll be there."

Once Casey has joined Olivia, she slowly and carefully closes the door.

It's cold on the breezeway. The windows illuminate the entire area, bathing it in moonlight.

Olivia stands in front of one of the windows and looks out, lost in thought.

Casey sighs. "Liv, what is this about? Alex will freak if she wakes up and we are both gone."

"I can't do it," Olivia says softly. Her eyes remain transfixed on the moon, the entity causing all the problems of the world.

"Can't do what?" Casey says, taking a step forward so she's almost touching Olivia.

Olivia turns around to face her. She makes eye contact right away. "Alex."

Casey frowns. "Olivia. We don't have time for you to be cryptic. I'm sore, tired and cranky. What are you talking about?"

"I can't be with her right now."

The words hit Casey hard. They aren't what she expected to hear, and she starts to reply when Olivia begins talking again. "We saw you. After we left the house. Me and Marcie. We saw you and Alex. Outside that church. I knew it was both of you."

Casey shakes her head. "What? You saw us? Why didn't you stop us?"

"I just wanted to know that Alex was safe," Olivia says, looking back out the window. "When I saw you with her, I knew she was."

Casey shakes her head again. "You aren't making any sense! We were coming to look for you. You're telling me you saw us and you didn't say anything?"

"It's not that simple, Casey," Olivia says, turning away from the redhead.

"It sounds pretty damn simple to me," Casey says, raising her voice more than she intends to. Olivia nervously looks behind them to make sure they haven't woken anyone up. Casey intentionally lowers her voice and says, "Alex was a wreck. All she wanted was you. She blames herself for what happened to Noah."

Olivia stares straight ahead. She clasps her hands together in front of her and purses her lips.

And those actions and her silence speak more than words ever could.

Casey feels her heart drop to her feet. "And you blame her too," she says with realization. "Don't you?"

Olivia turns and finally looks at Casey. There is just enough light for Casey to see the tears glistening in Olivia's eyes.

"It's complicated, Casey," is all she says. Her voice is barely above a whisper, but Casey hears her loud and clear.

Casey is suddenly filled with anger. "Let me uncomplicate it for you then. You lost your son. It's an unspeakable tragedy, Olivia. One no one should have to suffer. My heart broke for you then, and it still breaks today. But Alex lost her son too. I walked back into that house and found your wife traumatized. I've never seen another person like that." She stops talking as her voice breaks. "She tried to shoot herself, Liv."

Olivia looks away again, biting her bottom lip and avoiding Casey's gaze.

"She was broken, just as much as you were. She suffered too. Hell, she is still suffering. I buried your son in the backyard, Olivia. I held your wife as she cried for him. I picked up her pieces and told her you needed her. You are not the only person who has suffered, and you are not granted a pass because you weren't there to see things fall apart."

Olivia finally meets Casey's eyes again with a flash of anger. "I was taken, Casey! Do you think I didn't want to be there?"

"I know you had no choice," Casey says, her voice calm. "But you don't have a right to try and trivialize Alex's trauma."

"I never did that."

"I've been with her everyday since it happened. She's changed. I've watched it change her. You don't know, Olivia."

"I know," Olivia says softly. "It changed me too. But Casey, I can't do this."

Casey blinks her eyes. "Can't do what, exactly?"

"I can't be there for her. Not right now." Olivia turns her back to Casey. "Not in the way she needs me to be."

"All she needs is for you to be her wife. To love her. The way she loves you. You've always been able to do that. She doesn't need you to be a miracle worker. She doesn't need you to magically take away her pain. What she needs is to suffer it with you."

Olivia turns back and faces her, tears running freely down her cheeks now. "I can't, Casey. Every time I look at her I see my son lying on the kitchen floor." Her voice hitches in her throat and she starts to sob softly. "I love her…I do. I just…can't do this."

"Olivia," Casey says. "You can't break Alex's heart any more than it already is. We have to leave in a few days, and - ""

"I only have two passes," Olivia says. "I lied and said I had three because it was what Alex needed to hear."

Casey hesitates a moment, Olivia's words catching her off guard. She had been planning to go with Alex and Olivia to the safe town. But if there were only two passes…she could give it up. She would be okay. As long as Alex and Olivia were going to be safe, she would be okay.

"Okay," Casey says. "You and Alex will be fine. I'll make my way there when I can. It's okay, Olivia."

Olivia smiles. Casey's willingness to give up a chance at security and somewhat normalcy for her friends is honorable, and it doesn't surprise Olivia in the least.

After a few quiet moments, Olivia says, "I want you to go with Alex."

Casey doesn't respond at first. Her mind is spinning a million miles a second, trying to process what has been thrown at her.

"Olivia…no. I can't." Casey clears her throat. "She needs you. She doesn't need me. She needs her wife."

"I see how attached to you she's become. She does need you." Olivia says. "It's what is best."

"But it's not! Alex is my friend. I love her, yes, but I will never love her the way you guys love each other. I could never take your place. I - "

"I didn't mean that," Olivia says. "I just need you to watch over her. Like you have been doing."

Casey shakes her head. She can't believe Olivia is even suggesting this. "No. You can't leave her a second time, Olivia! Not by choice this time! It will destroy her! You don't know what we went through to get this far. It was all about reuniting you guys."

"You did amazing. Alex is strong. She will be okay."

"She's strong because of herself," Casey says. "Not because of me."

"You're wrong about that." There's no hesitation in Olivia's words, and Casey almost believes them. Almost.

"Olivia - no. This isn't open to debate. I am not going with Alex. You are."

"Casey," Olivia says, placing her hand on Casey's shoulder. "I need you to do this for me. And for Alex."

Casey can feel the sincerity and the need in Olivia's actions and her words. She sighs deeply. "But where would you go?"

"I have to help Marcie. We have to get the rest of the girls out of there. I can't just walk away. I need to do it for them, for myself and for Noah."

"Those girls are not more important than your wife. We could help you, Olivia. We could all fight, we could all free them."

There's more to this, and until now Olivia had been holding back.

"I need to end it, Casey. To get revenge for my son. And Alex doesn't need to see that. Alex doesn't need to be around for it."

"Olivia, no," Casey says. This time she reaches out and takes Olivia's hand. She is filled with dread and feels nausea rise within her. "You're my friend too, and I love you as well. Don't do this. You're afraid you may not make it back. That's why you want me to go with Alex. You need to think about her. As much as you want to do this, you can't. Please."

"I love Alex. She's my other half. She always will be," Olivia says. "But my son was my first love, and I'm doing this for him."

"Noah wouldn't want this!" Casey tries to reason. "Think about this, Olivia! Just go with Alex to the safe town and make a life. Please."

Olivia shakes her head. "I can't. Not with unfinished business. I came back because I wanted to know Alex was safe. I know she is. There isn't anyone with whom I would trust her with more than you. It's not good for me - or for her - for me to go with her right now."

"But all she wanted was you," Casey says sadly. "What am I going to tell her? That this time you chose to leave her? She won't go with me, Olivia. She won't get on that bus without you. And you know that."

Olivia nods. Casey is right, and Olivia knows it. "We aren't going to tell her, until it's too late. You two are going to get on the bus."

Casey shakes her head. "No. No. Alex trusts me. I will not lie to her. She will never trust me again if I do. And what if this bus doesn't come? Nothing is guaranteed now. Anything can happen. What if it doesn't come?"

Olivia looks away. It's clear she doesn't like to think about that. "I have faith that it will. And you have to do what's best for Alex."

"What's best for her is for her wife to go with her." Casey is angry again. She has compassion for Olivia, but her anger is slowly winning out. "I'm sorry, Olivia, but you are being completely selfish. You say you can't look at Alex without seeing Noah, and then you say you are doing this because you want revenge. I don't think you know what you want." Casey crosses her arms in front of her chest. "Well let me tell you something. You will shatter Alex's heart if you do this. I can't let you. I can't be a part of it."

"I need your help here, Casey." Olivia's voice is desperate and pleading, both of which she doesn't like to sound.

"Well, this is one time you are not getting it," Casey says flatly. She holds up her hand to stop any further arguments. "I am going back to bed, and so are you. You are going back to your wife, who is going to wake up soon with one of her nightmares and wonder where you are."

Olivia says nothing as Casey leaves the breezeway.

But Casey doesn't go back to bed. After her conversation with Olivia, she isn't sure she will ever sleep again.

She grabs a dirty coat from the hook by the door and throws it on, needing fresh air.

Well, as fresh as it can be.

The cold night air smacks her in the face as she sits down on the front stoop. She pulls the coat tighter around her and coughs slightly at the hazy, dirty air.

It's freezing but she's not ready to go back inside yet. Her chest and stomach hurts. Not just from her healing wounds, but from the intensity of what is going to happen in the next couple of days.

Has she been able to talk sense into Olivia? Olivia made no attempt to follow her out of the breezeway. Maybe she knows it's of no use.

Does she really blame Alex? How can she? How could she blame the person she loves for something so horrible?

Casey knows she will never understand the sorrow Olivia went through with losing her son right in front of her eyes. But blaming her wife - someone who loves Olivia with everything they have - seems so unnecessarily cruel.

Casey walks around outside for about a half hour until she finally gets too cold. She's headed for the door when a motion in the window of the breezeway makes her stop.

It's Olivia. She's still out there. Casey can hear her talking to someone, and once they step closer to the window she realizes it's Marcie.

Casey feels the need to get out of sight. Something about the intensity of their voices makes her freeze. She stays against the side of the house, out of sight of the breezeway. Are they…arguing?

She strains to listen but can't make out their words. Silence follows and she's almost convinced they have gone back inside the house. She takes a step and what she sees makes her freeze again.

Olivia and Marcie are kissing. Standing in front of the breezeway window, locked in an intense kiss.

Before you hate on Olivia...remember what trauma does to people. You will find out more of what happened to her soon.

Do you think Olivia will go with Alex on the bus?