Chapter 18: Learning

Elizabeth was going to be introduced to the kitchen staff later by Mrs. Reynolds, who was walking with them. While Georgiana had shown them much of the house at this point, she had avoided the rooms that were open to the public, calling them 'mostly dull'. However, it seemed an absurd thing to not be familiar with rooms that even strangers would see, and, moreover, Mrs. Reynolds insisted on taking the visitors about when she had heard that even after two days, the young mistress had failed to do so.

Georgiana trailed behind, clearly unwilling to be there but also not wishing to be left out. The rooms – like the private ones that Elizabeth was familiarising herself with - were lofty and handsome, and their furniture suitable to the fortune of its proprietor. However, Elizabeth saw with admiration of his taste, that it was neither gaudy nor uselessly fine; with less of splendour, and more real elegance.

Her aunt called her to look at a picture. She approached and saw the likeness of Mr. Wickham, suspended, amongst several other miniatures, over the mantelpiece.

"Isn't this Lieutenant Wickham?" Mrs. Philips asked.

Jane glanced at Elizabeth, and as she did so, they heard a small cry from Georgiana.

The girl looked mortified at having all attention turn to her. "I…I am sorry, I seem to have knocked…my foot. I…I will rejoin you all later." Georgiana hobbled away with surprising alacrity for someone just now injured, ignoring the concerned questions from others.

After some slight confusion, they all turned back to the tour and Mrs. Phillips repeated her question.

Mrs. Reynolds came forward, and told them it was a picture of a young gentleman, the son of her late master's steward, who had been brought up by him at his own expense. "He is now gone into the army," she added; "but I am afraid he has turned out very wild. This room was my late master's favourite room, and these miniatures are just as they used to be then. He was very fond of them. I did not know that you were familiar with him," she said, motioning to the miniature of Mr. Wickham.

"We are not," Elizabeth hastily explained. "He was part of the -shire militia that was posted at Meryton. We have seen him and been introduced, but know little else." This explanation proved sufficient for Mrs. Reynolds, who moved on to other miniatures, adding that perhaps Elizabeth would wish to convince Mr. Darcy that updating the miniatures and the room may be appropriate in light of their impending nuptials.

Elizabeth simply demurred, not having the slightest desire to run about redecorating Pemberley. However, she recognised the housekeeper's eagerness to do so, and clear unwillingness to bring the matter up with her master directly. Mrs. Reynolds had seemed extremely familiar with the family, but perhaps she had been mistaken about that.

Her father had not been wrong about Elizabeth having to get used to the wealth and management of Pemberley. Becoming mistress of all this was going to be no easy task for her, the daughter of a country gentleman. At Longbourn, they had five servants – a butler, cook, housekeeper, maid, and scullery maid - for a household of seven.

Pemberley had a park ten miles around, and while mathematics was never her strong suit, Elizabeth gathered that that gave the park a diameter of just over three miles and an area of just over five thousand acres. Add that to the main house with hundred and twenty rooms or so, and it was clear why it needed an army of servants to keep it running in good order.

And in a matter of a few months, she needed to be intimate with all of this!

Elizabeth learnt from Mrs. Reynolds that in houses as large as Pemberley, a steward headed the interior staff, including Mrs. Reynolds, as well as the butler, Mr. Nevins. Reporting to Mr. Nevins was all the male staff, including footmen, grooms, coachmen, gamekeeper, gardener, valet and page. Mrs. Reynolds was in charge of the entire female staff, including the cooks, housemaids, scullery maids, chambermaids, and the lady's maids (three of whom had already been assigned to the visitors).

Fortunately, Mrs. Gardiner had let Elizabeth know in advance that in the hierarchy of the serving class, the lady's maid assigned to Elizabeth would be second only to the housekeeper herself, being essential to the daily routine of Elizabeth who would be mistress soon enough, being responsible for her clothes, hair and overall appearance and comfort, the equivalent of Mr. Darcy's valet. Elizabeth had been warned by Mrs. Gardiner to make friends with her lady's maid, as she would end up having a close relationship with the girl, and would accidentally or on purpose share her private thoughts and habits with her.

For now, Elizabeth took solace that she could perhaps take a week or so to grasp the names of the staff, and their specific roles. She considered jotting down everything she was told daily, and reviewing it each night before bed, to ensure that she would retain the information.

With those thoughts in mind, she found her way back to the sunroom after the meeting with staff, and was surprised to find Mr. Darcy there. He had remained in the periphery since they had arrived, and Elizabeth wondered if this would be another such occasion. Jane was busy with some embroidery, and the previously injured Georgiana was reading, as was Mrs. Phillips.

Mr. Darcy greeted her upon entry, enquiring about her meeting with Mrs. Reynolds.

Elizabeth contemplated her words. "Mrs. Reynolds was very engaging, and everyone was lovely. It was a lot to take in, but I hope to be more familiar with the staff over the next several days."

Mr. Darcy nodded. "The rain has ceased, and while it is undoubtedly quite muddy outside, I wondered," and here he glanced at Mrs. Phillips to make sure that she was listening, "if you would like to see the gardens or the woods?"

"Oh! It is still so cold out of doors, I cannot imagine walking about for no reason!" cried their chaperone, completely oblivious to the fact that two people engaged may want to spend some time getting to know each other. "And Lizzy, you will undoubtedly become unkempt, what with all that mud, and your mother would likely not approve."

If Mr. Darcy was taken aback by Mrs. Phillips refusal to stir from the comfort of her armchair to engage in the very purpose of her presence, he bore it well. Elizabeth, however, could not. "Mother is not here, to approve or otherwise, and there can be no objection to some healthy exercise."

Georgiana, who had likely never seen a young lady argue with her chaperone, stared with intense fascination.

Jane intervened, having a more understanding view of the matter than her aunt. "It is not so cold out, I think. Aunt, you can stay indoors, but I was also wishing for some fresh air. We shall be sure to stay close to the house and not muddy ourselves."

It was hard for most people to refuse Jane, with her gentle and serene manner, and Mrs. Phillips was no exception. "But poor Miss Darcy shall be alone…"

"Oh, I shall join them," Georgiana said, rising.

All the other women frowned. "I thought you were hurt, should you not rest your leg?" Mrs. Phillips asked.

Mr. Darcy's concern for his sister knew no bounds, and the rather harmless excursion from indoors to outdoors was almost set aside in his worry over Georgiana's health. After much assurances from Georgiana that she was well and had merely tripped earlier, the four of them were finally off, leaving an apprehensive Mrs. Phillips (and a mildly amused Mrs. Annesley) behind.

Whether it was uneasiness over Georgiana, or the need to appease Mrs. Phillips, Mr. Darcy decided to stay within the parameters of the house, and they all strolled leisurely through the gardens, and Elizabeth enjoyed the blanket of snowdrops, early fritillaries, and crocuses that were already in bloom.

While the four of them walked together at the beginning, Jane and Georgiana soon fell behind, letting their siblings outstrip them. Elizabeth knew that a conversation was necessary, needed, and long overdue. However, she perversely wished that they had not been left to themselves; she wanted to avoid unpleasantness and was afraid of saying or doing something she would regret.

They were now walking around the large pond that was in front of the house, which Elizabeth had admired during her journey here. Its banks were neither formal nor falsely adorned, and she enjoyed walking around it.

"Being mistress of Pemberley is, I know, a daunting task. I hope that you are not overwhelmed from what you have seen thus far," Mr. Darcy stated.

"Pemberley is more than twice the size of Longbourn, with more than four times the number of staff," she said deliberately. "Overwhelming is a rather apt word, I think, but I hope that I shall be equal to the task. And Mrs. Reynolds is lovely, I am relieved to learn from someone so kind!"

"She has been at Pemberley for as long as I can recall," said he, regard for the housekeeper evident in his voice. "She is relieved to be having a mistress soon."

Embarrassed, Elizabeth said nothing, trying to think of an inconspicuous manner of changing the subject.

"Miss Elizabeth, I was wanting to talk to you alone for some time. Our last meeting was not as I hoped that we would have parted. The long silence afterwards, in hindsight, was also not – at least, I believe it was not appropriate in the circumstances. I apologise for taking so long speak to you."

"I…please do not blame yourself. My conduct was certainly not above reproach, and I could have written as easily as you. There's no need to dwell. I too am sorry for my part in what took place."

"You were – are – not happy to be marrying me. Over Christmas, you told me that we were each marrying for duty, and that I should not expect you to be brimming with joy. Those were your words."

"I was rude, and –"

"No, please do not misunderstand," Mr. Darcy interrupted her. "I am not looking for apologies at all. I am…I am trying to learn, what the cause of your unwillingness and unhappiness is. I was expecting this union to be something that you would welcome, be more than merely dutiful towards. But you are clearly not happy."

"I am not unhappy."

Darcy smiled a small, strained smile. "Be that as it may Miss Elizabeth, I wish to understand why you are an unwilling, not-happy bride. Your father assured me…but perhaps I should have asked myself, have I been the cause of separating you from someone who would have made you happy?"

Elizabeth made an immediate and emphatic denial, and was surprised by the relief that immediately flashed across Mr. Darcy's face.

"Then, I do not understand. I wish that you would help provide some clarity."

"Mr. Darcy, we are to be married. I do not wish to say or do something to cause you upset. My behaviour at Christmas was childish and unbecoming. Could we not just forget the entire episode?"

Mr. Darcy looked at her in earnest. "I would hope that the woman I marry is able to be herself at Pemberley, instead of living in fear of upsetting me. I am aware that we were already chosen for each other, but notwithstanding, that is not the type of marriage I wish for. I would also hope that we are able to respect each other enough to maintain honesty, no matter how that may upset the other. You are not happy with this marriage, and I wish to know why."

Elizabeth let out a deep sigh. It seemed like Mr. Darcy was not going to let the issue go, and, perhaps he was correct that honesty was the best policy. "Very well, I shall tell you why, and, I apologise in advance for what I am about to say."

A/N 1: When I update, I update to make up for past and anticipated future lapses loool! So sorry for not responding to a single review, but I am drowning in work, and I wanted to somehow get this chapter out, but please know that I am grateful for all the reviews!

A/N 2: I am confused by some readers, who seem to think that Elizabeth and Darcy are already married. There was a full chapter (or maybe half a chapter?) about Mr. Bennet requiring a long engagement, and Elizabeth not getting married until she was 21 years, which would not happen until the summer. We're still in very, very early spring, or late winter, depending on how one categorises the seasons. I know there are those that count the seasons by the date of the equinoxes.