Carlisle left for Edward's Bachelor Party and there was a general agreement across all the people who gave me 'check ups' that I could be left alone today. It was nice to be alonew ith my thoughts instead of always being forced to share them. There were few things I kept my from all of the things that I had purposefully ruined in the fire.

I kept things from my family, friends and the Cullens.

I kept the pictures, though I couldn't help but wonder if there were ghosts in this strange universe as well. I wondered if Xiaoxi was one of them, unconsciously I piceked at my bandages.

My nails had grown much longer than they had before, I was always a nail-bitter even in my previous life so I continued it on into this life, but when Xiaoxi died I went too far and Leah went into graphic detail about how disgusting it was to bite my nails while everyone banded together to make a disgusting nail polish that I was forced to wear everyday.

I had tired this a few times in my previous life to no avail, but it worked this tme, I stopped bitting them. Plus with Carlisle breathing down my neck about it and checking every day, it was hard to continue my old habit.

The feelings I felt now, were similar to how I felt when Carlisle left, but they were much worse. To the point where it felt as though a giant house was placed on my shoulders.

I had dealt with death before. Both in the literal demise of my own life and the life of my grandfather when before I had graduated highschool, as well as the conscious decision to let go of the past.

I realize now that I was never able to truly let go and 'let god' as my old church had often said. Instead the old memories seemed to flood my mind even more than before, it came to the point that I understood that I had spent the majority of this new life in a false sense of consentment and happiness that was in tern described by my therapist 'High Functioning Depression'.

I suppose it was nice to finally have a diagnostic, imagine what she would say if I told her about my real issues, she'd think I was insane. "Yeah vampires, werewolves and shapeshifters are all real. A vampire killed my friend in front of me, I'm living proof of reincarnation, I remember my past life and am pretty sure the other verison of myself is living in Ohio, me being here is killing my boyfrined etc.,"

Fun times.

Bella was getting married tomorrow and the Denali Coven were coming to the party because they felt guilty for not helping the Cullens against the newborns, Laurent was apparently Irina's mate, and he was killed by the Pack. It was the main reason why Irina didn't want to come and why the Denali didn't help the Cullen who would've been killed if not for the Pack.

The Denali were a big coven, with five of them in total. Tanya, Kate and Irina were joined by Carmen and Eleazar in the same way the Cullens were joined by Alice and Jasper, they wanted to live normally — or as close to human as they could.

The sisters were still mourning though, because they had lost their Mother. Carlisle had explained it all to me, a cautionary tale with the focus of keeping the secret of vampires.

"I don't know Tanya's mother's name," Carlisle had admitted, his eyes remained blue and never once filtered back to gold. This subject always made a deep frown on his face, he had explained it on one of my better days, when I was able to sleep. "They never speak of her if they can avoid it, never think of her willingly."

"The woman who created Tanya, Kate, and Irina—who loved them, I believe—lived many years before I was born, during a time of plague in our world, the plague of the immortal children. What they were thinking, those ancient ones, I can't begin to understand. They created vampires out of humans who were barely more than infants."

I couldn't help but make a face, I had heard the stories of how painful the transformation was, and to even think of putting a child through that, it left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

It also made me think of Bella, who would be going through that pain soon.

"They were very beautiful," Carlisle continued. "So endearing, so enchanting, you can't imagine. You had but to be near them to love them; it was an automatic thing. "However, they could not be taught. They were frozen at whatever level of development they'd achieved before being bitten. Adorable two-year-olds with dimples and lisps that could destroy half a village in one of their tantrums. If they hungered, they fed, and no words of warning could restrain them. Humans saw them, stories circulated, fear spread like fire in dry brush. . . ."

"Tanya's mother created such a child. As with the other ancients, I cannot fathom her reasons." He took a deep, steadying breath and he caught my eyes, my frown had mirrored his as I knew what would be spoken about, a topic I hated now with a passion.

"The Volturi became involved, of course. The Volturi studied the immortal children, at home in Volterra and all around the world. Caius decided the young ones were incapable of protecting our secret. And so they had to be destroyed. I told you they were loveable. Well, covens fought to the last man—were utterly decimated—to protect them. The carnage was not as widespread as the southern wars on this continent, but more devastating in its own way. Long-established covens, old traditions, friends… Much was lost."

"In the end, the practice was completely eliminated. The immortal children became unmentionable, a taboo. When I lived with the Volturi, I met two immortal children, so I know first hand the appeal they had. Aro studied the little ones for many years after the catastrophe they'd caused was over. You know his inquisitive disposition; he was hopeful that they could

be tamed. But in the end, the decision was unanimous: the immortal children could not

be allowed to exist."

"It is unclear precisely what happened with Tanya's mother," Carlisle had said. "Tanya, Kate, and Irina were entirely oblivious until the day the Volturi came for them, their mother and her illegal creation already their prisoners. It was ignorance that saved Tanya's and her sisters' lives. Aro touched them and saw their total innocence, so they were not punished with their mother."

"None of them had ever seen the boy before, or dreamed of his existence, until the day they watched him burn in their mother's arms. I can only guess that their mother had kept her secret to protect them from this exact outcome. But why had she created him in the first place? Who was he, and what had he meant to her that would cause her to cross this most uncrossable of lines? Tanya and the others never received an answer to any of these questions. But they could not doubt their mother's guilt, and I don't think they've ever truly forgiven her."

"Even with Aro's perfect assurance that Tanya, Kate, and Irina were innocent, Caius wanted them to burn. Guilty by association. They were lucky that Aro felt like being merciful that day. Tanya and her sisters were pardoned, but left with unhealing hearts and a very healthy respect for the law. . . ."

There was an unspoken rule, that I had been left with a similar feeling as the Denali sisters.

"Did you ever think about doing it?" I asked him and his eyes glazed over, a distant look on his face. It was a blank look that was often on his face the longer he was a human, as though the vampire life he lived was too far for him to even recollect.

"I did — we all have." He said, his voice too calm. "Though the tale of the children, were enough to stop anyone from ever creating one."

'So you build bigger covens, as a way to fill the void." I said and his eyes met mine, with a sad, compassionate look on his face.

"It's human nature to want connections, I suppose even we — who are so far apart from humans — still carry that within us."

It was the last time we spoke about the Immortal Children.

The day went by slowly as I continued to be surrounded by my own thoughts and opinions, the glass that once held the picture of Amina, Xiaoxi and I had been broken accidentally by me.

My grip was too strong, causing it to shatter into little pieces on the ground.

I didn't bother trying to clean them up, I knew the concerned reaction I'd get if I spilled a drop of blood.

So I waited until Charlie arrived to pick me up, I had destroyed my motorcycle, and spent the night over in my old room.

I didn't sleep — couldn't sleep — I hadn't been able to for such a long time now.

The days seem to fade into the background of my life, as though I was watching a movie, not entirely there.

Bella had a nightmare, one of the Immortal Children, with deep bags under her eyes. She placed a hand on my shdoulder and I pushed myself up. Her eyes were always filled with concern whenever she was me, and guilt.

It was a feeling that we both shared, though mine was more. As I had spent time with Victoria's newborns and became friends with them. I heard their stories, saw their fears and watched as they had died.

All because of us.

All because of Victoria.

"Alice is going to be here soon, want to go eat?"

"Okay." I said dully and she pulled me up.

I wasn't allowed to skip meals, even though food didn't taste the same as it used to.

I got dressed in a two size too big sweatshirt and baggy pants and headed downstairs as Bella tidied up the room.

Carlisle loved to by me books, the Cullens bought me various other items to help with the lack of sleep I had, Edward gave me his CDs that he had been planning on giving to Bella.

I hadn't seen his face, I was sure my thoughts must've made him want to run away and never face me.

Edward lived with a lot of guilt over various issues, one of them being turning Bella into a vampire, which would eventually come to pass.

I spent the other hours until Charlie woke up, reading books.

My concentration seemed to flicker on and off, not realizing I had already read though hundreds of pages without remember most of what the book had been describing.

Charlie and I ate pancakes, spoke up to me more nowadays, forcing conversation.

Always worried.

But his worry was covered by his empathy, I had seen Charlie when his parents had died and when Renee and Bella left, I had seen him at his worst and most depressed self.

Yet he was always able to be a good Dad, one that my other fathers were never able to properly do.

It was because of this that I knew that he would do anything to make sure I didn't end up the same way he did.

Charlie used to drink a lot, he wasn't the angry or violent drunk, he was just sad and always crying.

I had tried to be an independent child even at my small age, because I couldn't bare to see his blood red eyes filled with tears that he had wiped away as he placed a smile on his face to give me a bottle.

It didn't mean Charlie was a 'perfect' father or a 'good' person because I didn't believe in those terms, but it meant that he was fine the way he was.

Bella ironically didn't eat breakfast, as she was too hyped up to even bother eating, bouncing at her seat.

"You're picking up Mr. Weber at three o'clock," Bella reminded him as he started eating his cereal.

"I don't have that much to do today besides bring the minister, Bells. I'm not likely to forget my only job." Charlie had taken the entire day off for the wedding, his eyes flickered furtively to the closet under the stairs, where he kept his fishing gear.

"That's not your only job. You also have to be dressed and presentable."

He scowled, and I couldn't help my small smile lift onto my face, Charlie hated suits.

There was a brisk tapping on the front door.

"You think you have it bad." Bella grimaced as she rose from her seat. "Alice will be working on me all day long."

"And I have to watch." I grimaced with her as Charlie nodded thoughtfully.

Bella placed a kiss on the top of his head as she passed — his face went red — which was cute to see on him and Belal got the door.

Alice had smoothed her hair into a sleek pink of curls around her thin face, and wore a businesslike expression on her face. She quickly dragged me out of my car, her eyes staring into mine with now pained expression, that she quickly smoothed.

Alice thought what happened was her fault, not Xiaoxi, but what happened afterward that no one talked about.

She grabbed Bella's hand, with "Hey, Charlie" that was called over her shoulder and dragged us out of the house.

Alice appraised Bella as we got into her Porsche.

"Oh, hell, look at your eyes!" She tsked in reproach. "What did you do? Stay up all night?"

"Almost."

She glowered. "I've only allotted so much time to make you stunning, Bella—you might have taken better care of my raw material."

"No one expects me to be stunning. I think the bigger problem is that I might fall asleep during the ceremony and not be able to say 'I do' at the right part, and then Edward will make his escape."

She laughed. "I'll throw my bouquet at you when it gets close."

"Thanks."

"At least you'll have plenty of time to sleep on the plane tomorrow."

"Plane?" I asked confused and Alice realized she gave something away and frowned.

"You're all packed and ready," she said to distract Bella.

It worked.

"Alice, I wish you would let me pack my own things!"

"It would have given too much away."

"And denied you an opportunity to shop."

"You'll be my sister officially in ten short hours… it's about time to get over this aversion to new clothes. Helen's basically adopted into the family by now, who knows when you two will tie the knot."

I rolled my eyes. "Eventually, just not right now, that's for sure."

"You want to get married?" Bella asked, since I've been in college we've never really discussed the topic.

"I think married is fine — though I mostly want to wear the dress."

"We can just buy you one." Alice added happily, her eyes glistening as though she was already in the process of planning my wedding.

"Maybe another time." I added and yawned.

"Did you sleep at all last night?" Bella asked me and I shrugged.

"Have you tried mediating?" Alice asked and I frowned.

"My mind's in the worst state to try and concentrate on my breathing." I added and they both frowned at me, the usual reaction. "I'm trying…"

"You look like a Zombie."

"Thanks Bells." I added cheekily. "Anyway, Carlisle doesn't really care about the whole marriage thing, I think he did before when I wasn't here. But since I am here, he just wants to make sure we're both happy and healthy."

Honestly he's making it his mission. Guilt.

"Is Edward back yet?" Bella asked, seeing my expression.

"Don't worry, he'll be there before the music starts. But you don't get to see him, no

matter when he gets back. We're doing this the traditional way."

Bella snorted. "Traditional!"

"Okay, aside from the bride and groom."

"You know he's already peeked."

"Oh no—that's why I'm the only one who's seen you in the dress. I've been very careful to not think about it when he's around."

"Well," Bella said as we turned into the drive, "I see you got to reuse your graduation decorations."

Three miles of drive were once again wrapped in hundreds of thousands of twinkle lights. This time, she'd added white satin bows.

"Waste not, want not. Enjoy this, because you don't get to see the inside decorations until it's time." She pulled into the cavernous garage north of the main house; Emmett's big Jeep was still gone.

"Since when is the bride not allowed to see the decorations?" Bella protested.

"Since she put me in charge. I want you to get the full impact coming down the stairs."

She clapped her hand over both of our eyes as she led us inside the kitchen.

"What is that?" We asked immediately.

"Is it too much?" Alice's voice was abruptly worried. "You're the first human in here; I

hope I got it right."

"It smells wonderful!" Bella assured her—almost intoxicating, but not at all overwhelming,

the balance of the different fragrances was subtle and flawless. "Orange blossoms…

lilac… and something else—am I right?"

"Very good, Bella. You only missed the freesia and the roses."

She didn't uncover our eyes until we were in her oversized bathroom. I couldn't help but stare at the long counter, covered in all the paraphernalia of a beauty salon.

I groaned.

I was never one for makeup, the occasional mascara and lip gloss and on rarest occasions lip stick.

"Is this really necessary? I'm going to look plain next to him no matter what." Bella asked and she was pushed down into a low pink chair, Alice let me relax on her bed which was connected to the bathroom.

By the time I had stopped daydreaming, I was already dressed, hair and face made. I had gotten one look at Bella and I had the biggest smile on my face.

"Bella, you look beautiful." I said softly and she flushed red. Alice had masked, buffed and polished every surface of her body. Rosalie had braided Bella's hair while I was asleep and Bella had a long line of pearls button up on her back that the stain quivered in little wavelets down to the floor.

The dress was beautiful, with shiny fabric that flowed down beautifully across her body.

Alice had returned with a dress that flowed down her slender body like a silvery waterfall.

"Alice—wow."

"It's nothing. No one will be looking at me today. Not while you're in the room."

"Har har."

"Now, are you in control of yourself, or do I have to bring Jasper up here?"

"They're back? Is my mom here?"

"She just walked in the door. She's on her way up."

Renee had flown in two days ago, though I had yet to see her because she had retuned with Esme and was helping with the decorations.

"Oh, Bella!" she squealed now, gushing before she was all the way through the door. "Oh, honey, you're so beautiful! Oh, I'm going to cry! Alice, you're amazing! You and Esme should go into business as wedding planners. Where did you find this dress? It's gorgeous! So graceful, so elegant. Bella, you look like you just stepped out of an Austen movie." Bella suddenly looked very constipated. "Such a creative idea, designing the theme around Bella's ring. So romantic! To think it's been in Edward's family since the eighteen hundreds!"

The wedding wasn't centered around the ring, but it was a nice try.

"Helen it's so good to see you dear! You look like you had just walked down from the red carpet! You've grown up to be so beautiful and so bright, everyone can't seem to stop complimenting you!" I blushed at her compliments as she rushed over to give me a tight hug, and I felt any of my tension ease off my body.

I had been worried about Renee before, but now I knew there was nothing to worry about, she was just a bright ball of energy.

There was a loud, gruff throat-clearing in the doorway. "Renée, Esme said it's time you got settled down there," Charlie said.

"Well, Charlie, don't you look dashing!" Renée said in a tone that was almost shocked.

That might have explained the crustiness of Charlie's answer. "Alice got to me."

"Is it really time already?" Renée said to herself nervously. "This has all gone so fast. I feel dizzy."

At least I wasn't the only one.

"Give me a hug before I go down," Renée insisted. "Carefully now, don't tear anything."

Renee squeezed Bella gently around the waist, then wheeled for the door, only to

complete the spin and face Bella again.

"Oh goodness, I almost forgot! Charlie, where's the box?" He rummaged in his pockets for a minute and then produced a small white box, which he handed to Renée. Renée lifted the lid and held it out to Bella.

"Something blue," she said.

"Something old, too. They were your Grandma Swan's," Charlie added. "We had a jeweler replace the paste stones with sapphires." Inside the box were two heavy silver hair combs. Dark blue sapphires were clustered into intricate floral shapes atop the teeth.

"Mom, Dad… you shouldn't have." Bella said emotionally.

"Alice wouldn't let us do anything else," Renée said. "Every time we tried, she all but ripped our throats out."

"Sounds like Alice." I said as she stepped up and quickly slid bothof the comes into Bella's hair, under the edge of the thick braids.

"That's something old and something blue," Alice mused, taking a few steps back to admire her. "And your dress is new… so here—"

She flicked something at Bella and she held ou her hands automatically, and the filmy white

garter landed in her palms.

"That's mine and I want it back," Alice told my sister, who blushed in response. "There," Alice said with satisfaction. "A little color—that's all you needed. You are officially perfect." With a little self-congratulatory smile, she turned to Renee and Charlie.

"Renée, you need to get downstairs."

"Yes, ma'am." Renée blew Bella a kiss and hurried out the door.

"Charlie, would you grab the flowers, please?"

While Charlie was out of the room, Alice hooked the garter out of Bella's hands and then

ducked under her skirt. I couldn't help but laugh at Bella's red face. She was back on her feet before Charlie returned with the two frothy white bouquets.

The scent of roses and orange blossom and freesia enveloped us in a soft mist. Rosalie was playing the piano downstairs, Pachelbel's Canon, which caused Bella to start hyperventilating.

"Easy, Bells," Charlie said. He turned to Alice nervously. "She looks a little sick. Do you think she's going to make it?"

"Bella, it's going to be okay." I told her and placed a hand on her shoulders as I knew she'd do for me. "Deep breaths."

She nodded and Alice stood in front of her, on her tiptoes so she could look at her eye-to-eye. She gripped her wrists with her hands.

"Focus, Bella. Edward is waiting for you down there." Her eyes glanced over at us as she willed herself to be calm.

The music slowly morphed into a new song. Charlie nudged me. "Bells, we're up to

Bat."

"You got this." I told her and she nodded.

Alice took my hand, we were wearing similar dresses, as we were both the bridesmaids for Bella. The color was identical, but the styles were different since our body types were in fact the opposite of one another's.

We pulled Bella from the room, with Charlie tagging along by her elbow.

The music wwas louder in the hall. It floated up the stairs along with the fragrance of a million flowers.

The music was familiar, Wagner's traditional march surrounded by a flood of embellishments.

"It's our turn," Alice chimed. "Count to five and follow us." Alice wrapped her arm around mine and helped me follow her slow, graceful dance down the stairs. I of course wasn't as graceful, and I hated heels, but since Alice was a vampire she was incredibly strong and helped me with my uncoorindation.

I couldn't help but feel anxious as I saw the amount of people in the falls, eyes followed us as we placed ourselves in position. There was a profusion of white blossoms that hung in garlands from

everything in the room that wasn't alive, dripping with long lines of white gossamer ribbons.

The house could only be described as glorious.

Carlisle stod by Edward's side with Angela's father behind them both. Renee sat at the front row as we placed ourselves at the arch that was overflowing with more flowers, more gossamer.

Edward held a breathtaking smile ont his face as he saw Bella as Carlsile's met my eyes.

His eyes were still blue, he looked very human, but not enough that it would make anyone question him. I could see that his ears were red and his eyes were extremely soft as he looked at me.

Edward help out his hand and Charlie took Bella's and placed it into Edward's.

The vows were simple, traditional words that had been spoken a million times before, the only change was the line 'till death do us part' to 'as long as we both shall live'.

"I do." Bella said, already crying, her voice barely above a whisper, eyes blinking.

"I do." Edward's voice was clear and victorious.

They were declared and I blushed as they gave each other a very long kiss, the only thing visible in their world themselves.

I looked along the audience who had been clearing their throats to no avail and gave my sister a hug, after Carlisle did and gazed along the audience. Seth and Embry had given Bella hugs, as a stand in for Jacob.

"You're next." I heard Alice whisper into my ear and blushed as Carlisle placed an arm around my shoulder.