A/N… This chapter ran a little long, but it was kind of fun to fall down this little rabbit hole. I'll let you get to it.

~oOo~

Chapter 8 – The Way Things Might Have Been

EDWARD

I glanced up from wrapping Charlie's ankle when giggles met my ears. A smile curled my lips at the sight of the two Swan girls – one pulling me to her, always pulling, and the other with a glint of mischief in her eyes. They were walking across the street from the field. They were very similar in height, hair color, and wry, secretive smiles. Both were strong, smart, and capable.

I'd attended enough high schools over the decades, heard enough inane and shallow thoughts of teen girls, and witnessed the constant rotation of crushes and love triangles to know that those two girls weren't the average teenagers. There was no shallowness, no silly wants or wishes for material things, and no fear. None. They loved, accepted, and were completely loyal to everyone around them.

And they were chatting softly about Jake and me. I smirked, shaking my head and going back to Charlie's ankle while Carlisle gave Seth the once-over.

The sun had risen after the long full moon night, and the entire community had breathed a collective sigh of relief. We had a month to plan for the next one. A month to prepare for whatever Cyrus would bring our way. I wasn't sure what could be done, just shy of digging an underground bunker the size of a football field to hide the humans, leaving the rest of us to fight.

"You've done this before," Charlie muttered, his mustache twitching.

I chuckled, jerking my chin toward Carlisle. "I've been with him a long time. I've picked up a thing or two."

Carlisle laughed, shaking his head. "Don't let him fool you, Charlie. He's been through med school two times."

Charlie's eyebrows shot up. "Two times?"

"It's a long life. I tried to keep busy, essentially starting over occasionally," I told him, securing the wrap around his foot. I took the crutches that Carlisle had gotten out of the clinic's storage room and handed them over. "Try to stay off it for a couple days, okay? Elevate it when you're sitting."

"Sure, Edward."

Seth hissed from the gurney as Carlisle checked the bump on his head. The Quileute shapeshifters healed extraordinarily fast. By the time Carlisle had made it into the clinic, most of Seth's injuries had already started to correct themselves. Scratches from the werewolf and a broken finger or two were not too terrible after a couple of hours.

However, Carlisle wanted to watch him a minute with the contusion on his forehead. "Seth, just sit tight for a few minutes. I want to make sure you aren't nauseated or dizzy. Okay?"

"Yup, sure, Doc." Seth was a kind-minded boy. He was not as serious as Jacob, and he seemed to like just about everyone around him.

Jacob walked in, his face fierce, and he showed me what he'd found when his pack made a rather broad sweep of the surrounding woods outside the fences.

"Damn it," I groaned. "So Cyrus was here. He watched it all."

"Yeah. From his scent, it looked like he stayed just beyond where your family could sense him." He nodded, wrinkling his nose. "He came closer when we were fighting, but he didn't touch the fences, or my boys would've caught it."

Nodding, I turned to Charlie and Carlisle. "Last night was a true test. He'll hit us harder the next time."

Nessa and Bella came into the clinic, stopping in their tracks at the tension-filled room.

"Oh, boy," Nessa sang.

"What's going on?" Bella glanced around the room, landing on her father first and then me.

"Cyrus was here last night," I told them, turning when Charlie hummed, but his mind was a blurry moment of concern. "It seems he's determined to get revenge for the lycans I killed."

Charlie snorted. "You tracked him here. He would've hit us no matter what."

"Huh," Bella squeaked, smirking up at me. "Funny, I said that very same thing! Right, Mr. Cullen?"

I couldn't stop the snorting laugh that escaped me as she reminded me that I took too much responsibility for Cyrus's threats. No one in the room knew what made that so funny, and Bella and I didn't bother to tell them.

"Yes, Miss Swan," I admitted, still chuckling.

"It's true, though," Charlie added, shrugging a shoulder. "There's a part of me that thinks we should abandon Forks and move on, but we can't do that."

Carlisle stepped forward, helping Seth sit up on the edge of the gurney. "We could make it look like we've abandoned the town."

My gaze shot to his as I read his thought processes. He wanted to hide the humans somewhere, leaving the Quileute boys and our family out in the open to fight.

"Okay, but where could we hide two hundred and fifty humans?" I asked him.

"The high school," Bella, Carlisle, and Charlie all said at the same time.

"The gymnasium," Charlie added, using his crutches to stand up. He patted my shoulder. "It's something to consider. I'm not opposed to setting up a trap if it can keep everyone safe. Not just us weak humans."

His tone was teasing, and he smirked at Carlisle, who laughed softly.

Jacob huffed a laugh. "You're just as badass as the rest of us, Charlie."

The girls giggled again, but Bella stepped forward. "Dad, do you need help?"

"Nope. I do not. Edward fixed me right up. I'm heading home for some sleep," he said with a touch of haughtiness to his tone, but he used the crutches just fine as he made his way to the door. "I'd like everyone to take a day or two and relax. I'll put minimal security out for tonight, but you guys deserve a break after last night. Helluva fine job."

A small smile curled my lips. Charlie meant that as the highest compliment. He was extremely grateful that there had only been two injuries, that his girls were safe and the heroines of the night, and that we'd all worked as a team. He honestly couldn't find the words at the moment.

Charlie stopped at the door, turning to face us. "Just… Go be young for a day, yeah? We've got things to talk about, but nothing that can't wait. You two," he grunted, pointing to Jake and me. "Make sure you bring my girls back whole, but go be young."

"Yes, sir," Jake and I answered at the same time.

Should I tell him you're a hundred and twenty and I'm three hundred and sixty? Carlisle's thoughts hit me, and I shook my head, giving him a wry glare.

Bella laughed softly, leaning into my side, and I wrapped an arm around her waist.

When he left, Carlisle stepped forward. "What was he thinking?"

It seemed everyone in the room wanted that answer. Grinning, I said, "He's very, very happy that no one truly got hurt last night. He's proud of us all for working together. But he feels bad that none of us can just…be. Specifically Bella and Nessa. He feels they've been robbed of their youth – dating, socializing, general fun."

Bella tsked, shaking her head. I smelled the salt of her tears as they welled up in her eyes. I pulled her closer, pressing a kiss to the side of her head.

Nessa, who was very much like Emmett, couldn't stand the sad feel of the room. I smiled into Bella's hair before she had the chance to utter her next words.

"So… Mall? Football game? Dinner and a show? What are we doing?"

Bella snorted, rolling her eyes. "Ness…"

Jacob laughed, as did Seth and Carlisle.

It was Seth who piped up from the gurney behind us. "We could go to the beach." He held up his hand to Jake when he started to argue about vampires and treaties. "Not First Beach, but something closer to this side. It's gonna be too cold soon, so we could build a bonfire."

"That's kinda far outside the fence, Seth," Bella pointed out.

"Yeah, but you'll be with all of us!" He grinned, gesturing a finger around the room.

Carlisle smiled over to me. He's a good boy, that one. He's very open and happy.

I nodded his way with a smile, but I looked to Bella. "Would you like to go?"

Nessa was nodding, practically jumping up and down, which made Jacob pull her close with a chuckle.

Bella smiled up at me. "Yeah. Sounds fun."

"Awesome!" Seth cheered, looking to Jake. "We should go hunt up a deer or boar or somethin'."

"Sure, sure. I promised Mrs. Cope I'd bring her something soon so she could feed everyone." He looked to Carlisle. "We haven't had time to hunt with all the guard shifts. She said she was running low on meat from the last deer we brought her."

"I'll do it," Carlisle offered. "I'll bring something back. You guys can rest or relax until tonight." He looked to me, thinking, Esme and I need to hunt anyway. I believe Emmett and Rose have already gone.

He knew I wasn't quite ready to be away from Bella at the moment and she seemed to be feeling the same, so he was telling me the house was mine. If she wanted to sleep, I'd willingly let her take my room.

"Thanks, Carlisle!" Seth said happily, slipping gingerly off the gurney.

"Cool, so we'll meet down there before sunset," Jake said, nodding once and leading Nessa from the clinic with Seth trailing along behind them.

I linked Bella's fingers with mine, taking her bag and rifle and leading her outside the clinic. "C'mon, love. I kind of want to keep you a bit longer."

She smiled up at me. "Good, because I wasn't ready to sleep yet. I need to get back to something normal after three days of overnight duty."

"Good." I kissed her lips and led her next door to the house. "You requested something of me, Bella, and I want to fulfill that wish since we've been given time to relax."

Her brow wrinkled, and I smiled, pressing a kiss to her temple before whispering, "Just wait."

Once inside the front door, I set her things down in the foyer. Esme stepped out of the master bedroom, wearing a smile full of warmth and love.

"I believe you and Carlisle are going hunting," I told her, but she knew. "I was going to show Bella some of my history, the family's history."

Esme frowned, cupping my face. "Most of those things are at the family home, sweet boy. We brought the bare essentials when we moved inside the fences."

She switched to thoughts. All your possessions are there, Edward. As well as the albums and Carlisle's art, not to mention your piano. Her face took on a wry smirk, showing me where my things were and the switch to open up the shutters, which was a new addition since it had been eighty years since we'd been in the Forks house. You could take her there. We haven't checked the house in a few weeks.

Grinning, I shook my head. "Okay, we'll see."

She turned to Bella. "If he takes you to our home, sweetheart, then you absolutely must get him to play the piano. So talented."

Bella's eyes lit up as she glanced over at me. "Can we?"

Chuckling, I nodded. "If that's what you'd like…"

"Yes, please!" she said through a sweet laugh.

"Then it's settled," Esme sang, giving me a wink. Son, it's a rather long walk for her. Make sure she eats something. And she's been up all night, so make sure she rests at some point.

Mentally she showed me there were some apples on the kitchen counter that she specifically picked for Bella when she was over. Not to mention some venison jerky and some of Mrs. Cope's cornbread.

Esme left us after hugs and a kiss to Bella's temple.

"Before we go, love, I just need something from upstairs. If you'd like something to eat, Esme said she had some things for you," I told her, pointing to the kitchen.

"Okay. I could pack it to take with me?"

"Whatever you wish."

She nodded and headed into the kitchen, and I sprinted upstairs to the room I'd been using since I'd arrived in Forks. It had clearly been a guest room for the humans who'd lived here before, because it was nondescript in décor. Calm beige walls, blue sofa that pulled out into a bed, which I never did, and rather generic art on the walls. It served as a place I could get away when I couldn't be with Bella, when my family was coupled off. It stored my few possessions that I'd carried with me for five years after the sky fell and the small amount of clothes I now had, though most of those were thanks to Bella and her trade store.

The bag that I'd carried for five long years looked wrecked. It once was an expensive Nike duffle bag. What was navy blue was now just filthy gray. There were snags and fraying along the strap, and the swoosh logo was almost rubbed away. It reeked of earth and blood and tree sap of every kind. I'd used it to travel to Chicago as carry-on luggage, and now it held everything I'd owned for the last five years.

My wallet and keys were in there, along with a cell phone that no longer worked, but in its memory was music and family pictures that I couldn't bear to part with, even though there was probably no way of accessing them now.

I caught Bella's scent behind me, and I glanced over my shoulder as I set the bag back onto the floor of the closet after pulling out my set of keys.

Her eyes were taking in the room as she nibbled on some apple slices. She noted the stack of books on an end table. Her smile slowly curled up on her beautiful face.

"We share some titles," she noted softly, picking up Douglas Adams, Tolkien, and then Harper Lee.

"Yeah?"

She nodded, taking a bite of another apple slice. "I used to be super picky about books – like classics only and nothing too scary or mainstream. But now… I think I could read just about anything I can get my hands on. Forks Library is small, but I go in there like once a month."

Smiling her way, I just took her in as I leaned against the small dresser. I liked the sight of her in my room; it settled into my chest, making me feel possessive and a little bit lovesick. It made me realize that she was mine, that I was hers – no matter what capacity she chose. Forever or one lifetime, I was there. And suddenly I couldn't wait to see her in my family home, the place where, had things been different, I'd have moved in with them. I would've hidden what we were until we could no longer hide. I wondered for a brief moment what that would've felt like to have watched her grow up first, and I pushed that thought away because meeting this Bella the way I had was perfect. I focused back on our conversation.

"I completely understand that." I nodded when she looked my way. "I'd grab anything as I traveled. Even those horrible generic historical romances."

Bella giggled, biting her bottom lip. "Mrs. Cope calls those 'bodice rippers.'"

I shivered in mock disgust. "Not my first choice."

"Mine either, but without TV or internet… I'll take anything." She wrinkled her nose. "They are a terrible idealization of relationships."

Laughing, I said, "Specifically for a woman in the twenty-first century."

"Exactly." She grinned, picking up her last apple slice. "I'm done. I put a few snacks in my bag downstairs for later. We can go when you're ready."

"I just needed the keys for the house," I told her, holding up the ring I'd removed from my bag.

Something in her eyes darkened, her heart picking up a little. "I…" she started, shaking her head.

I walked to her, taking her empty plate and setting it on the dresser. "What?"

"Sometimes, I look at you and it becomes almost too much… This thing between us." She grimaced adorably. "That didn't sound right."

Chuckling softly, I reached up to cup her chin gently. "It takes my breath away. I've seen it happen. Hell, I witnessed it between Carlisle and Esme and later Rose and Emmett. I heard their minds as it transpired." I tapped my temple. "It still never made sense to me. Or maybe I was just stubborn."

She giggled. "You, Mr. Cullen? I can't see it."

I smiled at her tease. "Miss Swan, you have no idea the level of stubborn I can achieve." My eyes closed when she reached up to cup either side of my face. "It's staggering how badly I need your presence, your touch, that very pretty smile." I opened my eyes to see her eyes on my lips, and I knew she wanted a kiss.

"I have to be so careful with you, though," I whispered, my brow furrowing. "As much as I need those things, I have to control my strength. In a rush to get to you, reach for you, I could hurt you. And that would wreck me."

"Okay," she whispered, her hands still on my face. "I'm just glad I'm not alone in it all."

"Oh, no. Not at all. And I never want you to not voice it. I want to know if this is too much, if I'm too much, because I'm learning us too."

I dropped my forehead to hers, giving in to her touch, the pull she had on me. Brushing light kisses over her lips, I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her close. Sweeps of lips over and over settled my heart, my fear of hurting her. She was warmth and sweetness, delicate and strong all at the same time. Her taste, the feel of her body pressed to mine made me want things that had never enticed me before now.

The seventeen-year-old in me wanted it all – every hormone seeming to come alive under her touch, her sweet lips. The vampire who had lived well over a century wanted to keep her pure and perfect, marry her, bind myself to her in every way. But the man who had traveled across the country alone, fighting every nightmare imaginable, seeing humans decimated in the blink of an eye, and had fought to find my family… That man knew now just how precious life was in this new time. I could lose her so easily, and that scared me more than anything I'd ever known.

In that sweet kiss in my room, a small change settled over me, which rarely happened to immortals. I'd give Bella anything she ever asked of me – heart, body, soul, immortality. She now set the pace.

After one last glorious taste of her lips, I pulled back, my eyes squeezing closed. "I love you, Bella. But if you want to see the house, you'd better tell me now."

She huffed a really cute laugh, the sound causing my eyes to open. "Okay, I can behave."

Laughing, I pressed a quick kiss to her nose. "Don't change a thing."

~oOo~

BELLA

Edward carried my bag as we made our way to the north gate. He opened the heavy metal door and then secured it back once we were through. I rarely left the fences, and when I did, it wasn't from this gate. I barely remembered what Forks had been like prior to the sky falling.

"Are you nervous?" Edward asked, his brow furrowing as he offered me his hand.

I shook my head, smiling a little. "I never leave," I told him, jerking a thumb behind me toward the gate. "If I do, it's only to La Push, and even that's been several months."

"We can stay, love."

Grinning, I shook my head. "No, no. It's okay," I said, starting to walk again. "When the fences were first built, my dad was adamant that everyone stay inside. We'd had some close calls. A few people who wanted to take from us, and there was the red-eyed vampire… So Dad was even more…just more with Ness and me."

Edward linked our fingers together again and nodded. "I can understand that. I just don't want you uncomfortable, Bella."

"I'm not. But thank you for this."

"You want to get to know me, learn about me," he said softly, shrugging a shoulder. "The only way I could think to start was at the beginning." He smirked, giving me a raised eyebrow, which really enhanced his beauty. "You know so much already."

I laughed, feeling my cheeks heat. "I'd blame Esme, but it was all of them. And now that I know what Alice did… Maybe they were just preparing me for you."

He laughed, bringing my hand up so he could kiss my knuckles. "Maybe," he allowed. "I was a little shocked that you knew who I was that first day."

"I'd seen a very old picture of you and Carlisle," I admitted.

"We are very old."

Giggling, I shook my head. "No, I meant that it was grainy and that sepia color."

He chuckled, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. "And?"

"I thought you were very handsome," I told him, nodding. "You looked so serious, but so did Carlisle in the picture. Your hair gave you away when you showed up with Nessa. It just took me a minute to realize it was you. I hadn't seen that picture since your family had to out themselves, so like…three years?"

Edward was quiet for a block or two, but he smiled over at me. "So do you know how each of us came to be?"

"A bit. Carlisle told me his story, which was fascinating. He told me about you, but only that he was in Chicago during an epidemic."

"Spanish Influenza."

I nodded. "Esme told me her story. My heart just about broke."

Edward leaned in to kiss my temple. "Sweet Bella," he whispered against my skin.

"Rose's story is just as sad," I whispered, "and I didn't really want to hear the details, but that day, she seemed to need to talk about it. It made me angry and sad. It made me hug my dad…and Carlisle. They probably didn't even know why I suddenly wrapped them up."

Edward's smile was sweet and warm, but I could see sadness there too. Rose's story about the end of her human life was brutal and bloody. What had bothered me most about it was that it was the man she was supposed to marry who had instigated the assault. I shook my head to clear it.

"Emmett, though," I said with a laugh. "He tells his story like it's an epic tale of adventure."

Edward laughed. "To him, it was!"

I looked up at him, smiling at his beautiful laugh. "Alice barely spoke about herself."

"Alice doesn't remember her human life," he started to explain as we crossed an intersection. "Her memories start the moment she woke up as a vampire. She saw a vision of Jasper, knowing who and what he'd be to her, and then a vision of Carlisle and our family. That's it."

"Nothing? No family, not even the person who changed her?" I asked, my mouth hanging open.

"No. None of those things."

Something about that hurt my heart. "I can't imagine," I whispered, shaking my head and glancing up at him. "That must be so hard for her."

Edward smiled sadly, bringing my hand up to his lips. "You'd think so, but no. It's just…Alice. Carlisle and I think that maybe her human life wasn't all that pleasant, so she might be saving herself the pain the only way she can."

"And you guys are her family. She loves you fiercely." I didn't need to read minds to know that. She was protecting them even during her own struggle.

My brow furrowed as my gaze went to the ground in order to not trip on the curb of the sidewalk when it ended. Soon the road we were walking was surrounded by woods. The dreary Forks weather made it a little eerie, but my company gave me the feeling of pure protection, especially when the hand in mine gave a gentle squeeze.

My eyes met golden warmth as he asked, "And Jasper?"

"Hmm, I've heard stories. Like I said, I've never met him. Alice keeps him away from here, and now we know why, I guess." I wrinkled my nose at that. "Emmett talks about him a lot. But he spoke of you, too. He missed having his brothers under one roof."

I paused when a chilly breeze rustled through the trees around us, and Edward's instinct to listen to and test the scents around us took his attention for a split second.

"Em told me about where Jasper had come from," I went on when he smiled back at me. "And he explained something to do with wars in the South. But Emmett likes his funny stories better than the serious ones, so he liked to talk about how badly he could drive the empath and the mind reader to the brink of insanity."

Edward cracked up, like a beautiful and glorious laugh. "All very true, love," he replied through a deep chuckle.

We rounded a curve, and just up ahead, I saw a driveway that was so grown over that had Edward not turned, I would've passed it. The drive was dirt, rutted with green grass growing in the middle. It wound through trees for several yards, only to open up into a rather large yard. But it was the house that caused my mouth to fall open.

It was sharp edges, clean lines, and three stories of enormous house. The front was covered in roll-down shutters, and the yard and landscaping were creeping up to the house, which was understandable. I could imagine that in its time, the whole place would have been stunning.

"Whoa," I whispered, my eyes traveling from one end of the house to the other.

Edward smiled, guiding me up to the front door as he pulled out his keys. "We'll open the shutters so you can see inside. There should be enough light for the solar panels."

The door opened, and before I stepped in, Edward reached in to flip a switch. Motors along the roof kicked into gear, and the sound was almost alien to me because everything had been so silent.

The shutters lifted slowly, revealing the open living room, the stairs leading up to the second floor, and a dining room. There were a few boxes here and there, and some of the furniture was covered in white tarps. It was plain to see that Carlisle had rushed his family to pack up when Dad had brought them into the fenced area of Forks.

Edward had come to a standstill, and I turned to face him.

"Alice has been here," he whispered. "The scent is faint, so it's been a few days. She must've come through here when she left the other night."

"You okay?" I asked, because his demeanor was different from the laughing we'd done on the way here.

"Yes," he replied softly,pulling my forehead to his lips. "I'm sorry. I still worry for her. But I'm willing to bet she came here to change clothes before going back to the city." He gazed around, wearing a small smile. "If things were different, this house would've been filled with fresh flowers – Esme loves to garden. There would be video games on the flatscreen. And music. Lots of music."

He walked to the largest covered piece of furniture in the room, gently tugging the tarp off and dropping it to the carpet. It was the prettiest piano I'd ever seen. Even with the dust, the shiny black surface was flawless.

"So pretty," I breathed, reaching out to trail a finger along its surface. I met honey-colored eyes that looked a bit shy. "You'll play?"

"I promise, Bella." He grinned, reaching for my hand. "Let's give you the tour, huh?"

He led me upstairs, pointing out the rooms that belonged to Alice and Jasper and then Emmett and Rose. He opened the door to a room at the end of a hallway to what had to have been Carlisle's study. Bookcases lined the walls, and there was an antique desk in the middle of the room with two leather chairs in front of it. Everything in the room was old – the furniture, the books, and the art on the walls.

"Carlisle's office," Edward said softly, but his eyes scanned the bookshelves like he was seeking something specific. He smiled a little when he found a rather large, leather-bound book, pulling it out. "You know we moved around a lot, but with each move, Carlisle keeps an office."

He gestured around the room. "It's his life in a nutshell, really. Medical texts," he said pointing to the bookcases. "Some things he's had since before he was turned." He pointed to what looked like a hand-carved cross. "The art is basically telling his story, as well. But he's always kept this," he said, tapping the book in his hand.

He led me out of the room, bringing that book with him, saying, "There are governing vampires that kept immortals in line – no human should know what we are, you see."

"They're kinda screwed now."

Edward grinned. "Yes, ma'am. I'd be curious how Italy fared when the sky fell. There were three brothers. One – the leader, Aro – had a gift similar to mine. He had to touch you in order to read your mind, but he could read every thought you ever had. I don't need touch, and I only see what's in your mind at that moment."

We continued down the hall and up one more flight of stairs. Edward opened the door, saying, "This would've been my room had I moved with them. The last time I was here was in the 1940s."

Boxes were stacked along the back wall, but the focal point of the room was the view from a full wall of floor-to-ceiling windows. It faced out over the backyard and into the woods. There was a black leather chaise in front of those windows, and Edward sat down, straddling it.

"Here, sweetheart," he said, pointing to the spot in front of him. "Sit with me. I want to show you something."

I sat down between his legs, my back to his front. He set that big leather book onto my lap, opening it to the first page.

"The Volturi would have hated to know we had this or even thought of keeping something like this, but it's Carlisle's meticulous record keeping." His voice was soft, his arms around me as he turned another page. "He started it as just a basic record for himself – his life, his struggles, his achievements."

He flipped a few more pages, saying, "Until me."

The first thing I noticed was the extraordinarily old newspaper clipping. 1918 Outbreak Ravaged US. It spoke of influenza and pneumonia, how it took thousands of lives.

"Carlisle was working at the hospital in Chicago then," Edward said softly, turning the page. "My parents and I were brought in."

The next page held three obituaries. Edward and Elizabeth Masen Sr. died within days of each other. Their son, Edward Anthony Masen Jr., held on for almost three more days. It was the pictures, though old and faded, that my eyes locked on to.

"Your mother was beautiful," I barely said aloud, but Edward smiled against my cheek. However, the picture of the man behind me had tears welling up in my eyes.

It was a younger Edward, maybe by a year or so, but he had his mother's eyes, his father's strong jawline, and a rounder, more boyish face than now.

"Carlisle saved you," I said, turning to nuzzle his face a little.

He huffed a laugh, shaking his head a little. "Carlisle said my mother held on long enough to beg him to save me. He said her grip on his arm was strong, despite her illness. To this day, he's not sure if she knew he was…different. But when he vowed to her that he would do everything in his power, she finally passed."

My tears fell silently, and I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. I knew what it felt like to lose a parent, and I knew what it felt like to have Carlisle save me, though differently.

"Not long after that, my health plummeted. Carlisle took me away from the hospital and changed me." He reached up to gently wipe my tears away. "For a very long time, I hated what I was, what I'd become. I fought him constantly, but he never grew impatient, never said an unkind word. He became the father I needed, and I became the companion he needed. It took a year for me to truly realize what my mind reading was, and it added a level of mania to my newborn phase."

I turned a little so I could see his face. There was ancient sadness or weariness there, but his eyes, those beautiful honey-colored eyes, were warmth and love and a little contrite.

"You say he saved me, but, Bella, for decades upon decades I felt he condemned me. I didn't blame him, but I struggled with what I used to believe and what I'd become. Once Esme came along, I felt like an intrusion on a mated couple. I rebelled against his choice of diet and truly became a monster. But no matter the things I said or did or fits of rage, Carlisle always welcomed be back. Always."

He leaned in to kiss my cheek, squeezing his eyes closed for a moment.

"I know we tease about teaching old vampires new tricks, but sweetheart, it's so true. I have lived a long life believing I was alone and a soulless monster. And then the world shifts and explodes, and I find myself here with you. Alice set a gift in my lap, and I honestly can't wrap my head and heart around it."

I pushed the book back a little so I could turn around and face him completely. I placed my hands on both sides of that very handsome face.

"I want you to know everything. I want to hand you the world, Bella."

I smiled, pressing my lips to his. "I don't need the world, Mr. Cullen."

His gorgeous smile lit up the room. "C'mon, love. You can read that whole book later. Let me play for you."

~oOo~

A/N… A little reminder, because even Jenny had forgotten. Most of the homes in Forks are running on solar power during the day. Just keep that in mind. Also… I'm using most of canon lore with the Cullens as I can, but a mix of my own twists here and there, so the book Edward shows Bella doesn't exist in canon, but the art and the cross and the piano are totally canon. Most of you who read my vamp fics are probably used to it. ;)

Okay, so it seems I'm just going to keep riding this wave of creativity – everything else be damned. So I'll keep going until whatever happens…happens. Until next time… Mooches, Deb ;)