A/N

NOT SAFE FOR WORK

June, 2021 continued

When Michael opened his eyes, light was shining into the bedroom. His Core had soothed away any residual soreness from their activities the night before; it did nothing to clean his body up. He could feel multiple parts of his body, as well as the sheets, stiff with encrusted semen, slightly slimy from drying lube.

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

"Mmmm," Michael moaned. "I slept wonderfully. Need a shower, now." He stretched back, expecting the warm body behind him to mold itself around him. When that didn't happen, he sat up and looked to see Ming Lim lying with his back to Michael, looking at the neon toy. "LimGe…. Is something wrong?"

Ming Lim refused to answer. It was silly, really, being jealous of a toy. A neon green fuck toy that wasn't even as big as he was. It was absolutely stupid to be jealous of something that gave his boyfriend so much pleasure. Michael had been begging for it after their first round; "I feel so empty, Gēge…. Fill me. I need it." Moaning each time it bottomed out, whining every time it left his body, so blissed out from the pleasure. He'd been insatiable, willing to be bent into any position, fucked hard or soft as long as that stupid toy was in him. He'd come at least three times just from the toy. And twice more with Ming Lim when his own need was too great.

Six times in just a few hours. Not even porn stars claimed to be able to cum that many times in such a short period of time! It just wasn't… normal! Or natural!

"LimGe…. What's wrong…."

"I'm not enough for you." The words slipped out. Brutally painful in their honesty.

"You are all I want. All I need…. How…." Michael's confusion was evident in his voice.

Ming Lim couldn't look at his lover, the anguish in his heart was too great. "Last night…. I wasn't enough. I couldn't give you what you needed…."

Michael pulled helplessly on his boyfriend's shoulder. "LimGe, look at me," he pleaded. "What you gave me last night…. It was because it was you…. You gave it to me. Lim… it's always you, only you.

"You weren't the first person to ask me to sleep with them. Or even the only one since we got engaged." That was enough to cause Ming Lim to roll over and glare. "I said 'no' to them. Of course, I said 'no'. I've always said 'no'. Except to you. Of course I thought I wanted to sleep with other people before we got together! And while we were apart when I forgot about you. I was sixteen and nineteen! Perpetually horny. I said 'no' to all of them because they were them. I said 'yes' to you because it was you."

"You didn't actually say 'yes' to sex," Ming Lim reminded him, rolling back over in a pout. "I sort of rolled over all of your objections."

Michael snorted softly. "Do you honestly think I couldn't have stopped you if I hadn't wanted it? Ming Lim… LimGe… soulmate… sweetheart… love of my lives…. Love of every past and future life…. If you don't want to use the toy, I'll throw it away."

"But you bought it. You want it."

"I wanted to use it with you. Not in place of you." Ming Lim rolled over again, anger, hurt, fear all shimmering in his eyes, radiating from his entire body. "I bought them weeks ago. Weeks. I didn't open the boxes until yesterday morning when I was packing."

"Why?"

Michael wasn't sure if that question was supposed to be 'why not'. It sounded like there was supposed to be a 'not' in there. "I told you. I wanted somehow to suck you off at the same time you were fucking me. Unless you know of some trick to grow another cock?" He made a silly face, trying to alleviate the mood; it didn't work. "Lim…. If all I want is an orgasm, what do I need you for? If that's all you need, what do you need me for?" He ignored Ming Lim's face now, knowing it was even more full of hurt. "We're healthy with hands that can do the job just fine. Or if we really want someone, anyone, to give it to us? Take a look at us! We're considered quite good looking, you know. You… you're absolutely gorgeous. I've seen total strangers trip and almost fall because they're staring at you. Your eyes…. I love looking at your eyes. If you ever signed up to be an eyeglass or contacts model? You'd sell out the store's stock in minutes. Your mouth is heavenly and that's even before it touches me. Idols in Asia are really into using make-up… you could put them all to shame even without make-up. We can walk into any coffee shop or bar, well... you can walk into a bar, and get someone to sleep with us.

"This…. I don't simply want to have sex or get off. I want to have sex with you. I don't want to play with the toy; I want to play with the toy with you. Fuck, I'm saying 'with you' a lot. But that's the point. I'm either doing this with you, or it's pointless."

"You were begging for it."

"Is that how it seemed? To me… it was for you. Only you. Begging for you."

It was a lot for Ming Lim to ponder over. He thought about it all through his shower, all through breakfast, while they packed for a hike, while they drove to a small flume, and while they walked alongside it. Michael was right in that he also didn't want just sex: it was sex with him. And that's why Michael enjoying the toy was so painful…. But if it really wasn't the toy that was the important piece last night? Ming Lim spied a set of closely growing trees about fifteen meters off the path. "Come here," he ordered, pulling the younger boy. "Do you want to play something new? I'm going to fuck you, here in the open where anyone can hear you. And you're going to take it. And not cum. Do you understand?"

Michael smiled, immediately up for semi-public sex since they hadn't seen or heard another person on the trail all morning. "I think I'm going to like this game…."

"Pull your pants down and get on your knees." Michael was still loose enough from the previous night; Ming Lim lubed up and shoved in. "No noise and no cumming. This is for me, got it?" It was hard and fast, lasting not even three minutes before they were both zipping their jeans up. Ming Lim used spiritual energy to create a block keeping his semen inside. It did nothing for the lubricant; Michael's face scrunched in dislike as it stuck to his boxers. "Can you feel me still squishing around in there? Do you like it? Being plugged up with my cum still inside?"

"Are you going to do something with it later?"

"Yes."

Michael's eyes got wider at that. "Are you going to do it again?"

Ming Lim allowed an evil looking smile to escape. "Am I going to take you out in the open again? Yes. Am I going to take and take and leave you wanting?" He brushed a hand against the front of his boyfriend's jeans. "Yes. This is called edging, right? When I take what I want and you have to just accept it until I decide it's your turn?" Michael was nearly whimpering in desire and longing. "Do you want this kind of play?"

"Yes! Oh, fuck, yes."

Twice more before lunch, Ming Lim pulled Michael off the path. Once to bend him over a convenient tree branch. Once to lean him up against a huge boulder. There were more people on the trail now. Michael was biting his fists to keep silent as he was fucked into. To not beg for release. Ming Lim took every advantage, kissing him as if his life depended on it whenever the mood struck. Rubbing a hand over the front of his jeans as they walked.

Michael couldn't decide if this was heaven or hell. Who cared? It was tormenting being teased for so long without the prospect of relief. At the same time, it was exhilarating leaving his pleasure up to his lover. Knowing in the end, all the frustrations would pay off. Along the way, Ming Lim kept asking if it was still all right, if they should keep going with their game. Michael, even as sexually frustrated as he was, green lit it every time.

They stopped for lunch where the flume widened out into a small pool-like structure. There were convenient rocks to sit on that were the perfect height for dipping one's feet into the cold water. Ming Lim took a bite of his sandwich and blew out a harsh breath. "I'm sorry…. Let's stop this game."

"What's going on?"

"I dreamed of him, of Lán Zhàn. The guy was so jealous for years. Years! At least he was jealous of people. Me?" He huffed again. "I'm jealous of a stupid sex toy."

Michael paused chewing, then spoke with his mouth full of food. "Jish game," He swallowed. "You're edging me because you're jealous? Still?" He angrily tore another bite out of his sandwich. When that piece was gone, he glared at his lover. "We've had this conversation. Consent. It's not a difficult concept to understand. If you didn't want to use the damn thing, all you had to say was 'no'. You seemed to like it. I thought you were enjoying it, too. Fuck that. And fuck you! You don't get to play sex games with me where I think it's a game and you think you're punishing me! You want to edge me because we're both enjoying it? I'm all in. Not this stupid ass punishment shit."

"I'm sorry." Ming Lim flicked a crumb off of his shirt into the water. "I wanted…. Fuck. I don't know what I wanted. I'm sorry."

"Jerkwad," Michael retorted, sounding like a seven year old.

Ming Lim looked confused. "What does 'jerkwad' mean?"

"It means you." Michael allowed the water cooling his feet to also cool his temper. After all, he had been enjoying the game regardless of Lim's intentions in playing it. He was still partially aroused from earlier; his pants were uncomfortably tight in front and even more uncomfortably stuck to his skin, especially in his ass crack, in back. "Are we going to keep playing?" he finally asked.

"Do you want to?"

"Yes." Both boys smiled at each other. One in repentance and one in forgiveness.

Ming Lim fidgeted on his rock. "When we get back to the room, will you use the toy on me? I want… I need to see why you like it. I need to know…."

"If you're absolutely sure, yes. Of course." Michael let his feet swirl around in the cold water for a moment while he allowed his thoughts to coalesce. "Only if you want it. Just make sure you say stop if you don't like it. Nǐ míngbái ma?" Are you clear?

"Míngbái. Zhīdào."

For the way back down, they took a side trail. Ming Lim found a small clearing off the trail, partially shielded from passersby by thick bushes. "Let's stop here. Strip."

"Are you going to do me again?" Michael was overly eager and succeeded in flipping his sneakers halfway across the clearing when he toed them off.

"Sort of," Ming Lim hedged. Once Michael was bare to the elements, Ming Lim used a tendril of spiritual energy to gather the semen he'd deposited earlier and form it into a ball which he rolled up and down.

"Holy shit!" Michael hissed at the sensations. "What the fuck was that?"

"Do you like it?"

Michael was panting, eyes glazing over. "Yeah…." He slurred and shivered as the 'ball' prodded against his prostate. "Fuck yeah. Do it again."

Ming Lim arranged himself so Michael's head was in his lap and their hands were joined. "No touching yourself. You have to take it. Just let me…. Do you feel me fucking you?" Over the next hour or so, Ming Lim controlled the ball, using it to tease his lover. Another tendril of spiritual energy was used to block the urethra. "No cumming until I say so," he whispered while Michael whimpered and begged and twisted in search of relief. Ming Lim kept a partial awareness for other hikers and Silenced Michael anytime a group wandered close enough to hear them.

Eventually, though, even Ming Lim couldn't take the torture anymore. "Keep your hands under your head," he ordered. "No touching." He moved down Michael's body, kissing, licking, or biting to his heart's content while Michael writhed under him, desperate for more, desperate to finish. Ming Lim licked long strips of Michael's dick. "You taste so good," he murmured. "All salty and needy." He allowed the head to rest in his mouth and released the blocks. The orgasm was immediate and, for Michael, seemingly never ending. He pulsed in every color of the spectrum. Muscles contracting and releasing over and over. Ming Lim used his fingers to scoop up spilled semen into his mouth while his boyfriend remained in a daze, body still shuddering.

Eventually, Michael roused enough to ask for water. Ming Lim helped his trembling hands to hold the bottle steady. "Is it all right if I change my mind?"

"About what?"

"Your toy…. I don't want to use it. I mean…. I don't want you to use it on me."

"No… I think you were correct the first time. You don't want to use it at all, right?" Ming Lim refused to look at Michael. "I'll throw it out, then." I don't need the toy anymore if you'll do that to me again, Michael thought wryly. He could blow Ming Lim from any position and Ming Lim could use spiritual energy to fuck him? The thought was intoxicating. He couldn't wait to try it out later. Who needs a dildo when he's got such an inventive boyfriend?

"You don't have to do that," Ming Lim protested. "You liked the way it felt…. You can… you can use it when I'm not around. Like if I get stuck on one of those huge projects again."

Michael didn't answer. But when they got back to the cabin, Lim couldn't see the toys anywhere.

Once back in Cambridge, Michael paused throwing his dirty clothes from his overnight case into the laundry basket. Ming Lim's dirty laundry was still in his overnight case; he was flipping through a book. "Hey, you gonna help over here or what?" Michael groused.

"Give me a minute," Ming Lim offered. "I remembered something in the car…." Finding what he was looking for, Ming Lim looked up at his fiancé with a brilliant grin. "Found it! Even Lán Wàngjī didn't like your Wèi WúXiàn using toys."

"Huh?"

Ming Lim carefully marked the passage with a piece of paper and handed it over.

Michael perused the paragraphs. "The incense burner extras? Wèi WúXiàn probably would have done something like that, but he didn't. The author made it all up." He turned to look at Bìchén lying in its wall holder. "Maaaaaybeeeee?" he drawled.

Ming Lim grabbed the book back. "Absolutely not. Don't even think about it."

"Too late."

"Michael….." Ming Lim whined.

"What?" Michael put on his most innocent face. "Don't blame me for thinking about it after you reminded me. Unless…. Did Lán Wàngjī have sexy dreams like that?" Watching MIng Lim's face start to color, Michael started laughing. "He did? And you didn't tell me about them? Naughty boy!"

Ming Lim flushed even redder. "Lán Wàngjī was just as horny as Wèi WúXiàn was. He just hid it better before they got together. He was a normal, healthy, male. Of course he had spring dreams." Seeing Michael opening his mouth with yet another fake innocent look, Ming Lim forestalled him. "I didn't get all of his memories. Unlike you. I just have dribbles that pop through every now and then."

Michael refused to give up. "Since you know he was a horndog before they got together, you must have memories…. Tell me one. Please?" He put on his best pleading-dog face.

"No."

Michael clasped his hands in prayer position and dug a fingernail hard into the other hand causing his eyes to water up a bit. He couldn't really get more pathetic looking without further hurting himself. "Please?"

"Fine."

"Something really dirty. Not shutting him up in the library with a kiss or anything. Make it an X-rated memory. Or at least R-rated."

"You're really dirty minded, you know that?"

"I've got a dirty mind? I have memories of your person tying my person up! Meanwhile my innocent Wèi WúXiàn had no idea what the Hell Lán Wàngjī meant when he indicated he'd like to tie him up…. Until he found himself with his hands tied to the edges of the bed and his feet tied to the corresponding arm. Spread out, couldn't move. All he could do was take whatever Lán Wàngjī was going to give him. And your Lán Wàngjī took and gave for hours!"

"I'm sure Wèi WúXiàn enjoyed being tied up," Ming Lim grinned. "I have one of those memories, too. Both of them were very active participants…." One hand dropped down to press against the front of his pants. "Can we change the subject yet?"

"No!" Michael pouted. "You promised me a memory. A dirty one. You can change the subject after you give it to me."

Ming Lim stilled. "Give it to you or give it to you?" The hand pressing down his zipper moved to press down on Michael's.

Michael swatted it away. "First tell me. Then you can do me. And then I'll do you. Deal?"

The hand wiggled its way back, this time slipping down behind the zipper, Michael having sucked his belly in to assist. Ming Lim allowed his fingers to curl slightly around the throbbing flesh encased in cotton. "The author," he nodded at the forgotten book, "wasn't entirely off in those incense chapters. Lán Zhàn did dream of fucking Wèi Yīng when they were teenagers."

"Oh?" Michael fumbled with opening the button on his jeans and lowering the zipper. There definitely wasn't enough room there for the both of them.

Ming Lim, encouraged by the easing pressure on his hand, squeezed gently. "He was meditating in the Cold Pond when Wèi Yīng dropped by again. It was a dream, so of course Lán Zhàn was completely naked in the water. Wèi Yīng didn't want to embarrass anyone, so he stripped down, too. Do you remember how cold that water was? The shivering Wèi Yīng sloshed right up to Lán Zhàn asking to cuddle together to preserve warmth." While he whispered the dream memory, with his free hand, Ming Lim pushed down Michael's jeans. "Lán Zhàn tried to keep a proper distance, but your Wèi Yīng insisted on clinging." The boxers were pushed down to join the jeans. It took a bit of maneuvering, but the boys were able to get Michael naked from the waist down. "Finally, it was too much. Too much skin bare. Too much wet skin sliding on wet skin. Lán Zhàn pulled Wèi Yīng in and kissed him." Ming Lim used one hand to stroke his lover and the other undid his own pants. "They kissed forever."

Michael groaned. "I said X-rated."

"We're getting there. Do you know how much Lán Zhàn loved to kiss Wèi Yīng?" Ming Lim shimmied his pants off. "It was his second favorite bedroom activity." The older boy leaned in to give a teasing nip at the other's lips. "Lips," another nip, this time just on the lower lip. "Neck, chest," his mouth followed his words as he worshiped the younger boy's body. Michael allowed himself to be turned around and walked towards the wall. "Back. Lán Zhàn loved kissing and touching Wèi Yīng's back."

"He did this in the dream?"

"Yes," Ming Lim bit down at the junction of neck and shoulder. "Just like this. I pressed you up against the rock wall at the back of the pool and pressed my body up against yours. You were shivering so much from the cold water and the touching. 'Lán Zhàn, Lán'Ér Gége, more,' you begged. So I gave you more." Ming Lim used a foot to shove Michael's legs apart. "He used the water as a lubricant. I'll use the real stuff only 'cause I'm not taking us to the bathroom. 'Does Wèi Yīng want Lán Zhàn? Does Wèi Yīng want Lán Zhàn to come inside him?' The dream version of you wasn't as ignorant as the real you. 'Yes, come inside me. Make me yours.'" Michael hissed and his body automatically shifted up and away from the invader. It had been almost fifteen hours since they last did this and his body was not ready. Ming Lim grabbed Michael's hips and pulled him back down even as his hips shoved up. "I didn't prep you in the dream, either…. You were crying from the pain and yet so hard for me. 'Don't stop, Lán Zhàn,' you begged. So I didn't. Do you want me to stop, Michael? Or do you want me to fuck you the way he dreamed of fucking Wèi Yīng?"

Michael's hands clenched at the walls, desperate for something to grip onto. "Make me yours, LimGe. Always yours." Ming Lim's hips thrust up at a furious pace. There was no finesse, no attempt to make it last, no attempt to hit Michael's prostate. No attempt to even allow Michael's body to adjust to the invader. It was raw and brutal for Michael, so each time Ming Lim did accidentally hit his prostate, the pleasure ratched up a notch. Never quite enough to reach orgasm, though.

Michael tried to take a hand off the wall to touch himself, but Ming Lim grabbed it and held it to his lower back. "Just me," he growled. When he finished a few minutes later, he took a few seconds to appreciate the view he left. Michael's ass and upper thighs were red from being slammed against while dribbles of off-white liquid slid down the inner thighs. "Beautiful," he whispered. "You are so fucking beautiful. Turn around." Michael awkwardly turned to lean his back against the wall; his legs were trembling. Ming Lim dropped to his knees, eased Michael's legs apart again, and shoved three fingers into his ass. They probed for his prostate even as Ming Lim's mouth took in half his cock. As primed as he was, Michael didn't even last thirty seconds.

"I like that dream, LimGe. If you have any more, we can re-enact those, too."

Ming Lim stood up to place a sloppy kiss against his lover's mouth. "As long as they don't involve you playing with my Bìchén."

"Fuck you," Michael laughed weakly.

"Any time, Michael. Any time."