Chapter Sixteen

I wake to the smell of sex and pancakes. There are worse ways to start the day. Christian greets me, "Hey, baby. Your breakfast and minipill are on the nightstand." He's been a ninja again. I'm surprisingly okay with that. "Will your parents meet up with you at the campus?"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, Mom can't make it. Her husband, Bob, has taken to playing golf at night, and it ended about how you'd expect, with him unable to walk for a while."

I sense him just before he kisses me, and says, "I'm sorry, baby. If you'd given me some notice, I could have done something about it."

"Hardly your fault, Christian."

"I'm still sorry. And your father, Ray?"

"Oh, crap, he was going to pick me up on his way."

"Relax, it's still early. Eat your breakfast, and get dressed. I'm afraid it'll have to be the same clothes, though you're welcome to borrow a pair of my boxer briefs. They're in the drawer on my side of the bed."

I get out of bed, as I point out the obvious, "You're in a good mood."

Suddenly, I'm hard up against his clothed body, and his hands are roving over my back, as he says, "Apparently sleep does that to a person, and you need to take your pill. We don't want a little intruder just yet."

Intruder? Is that really what he thinks of a baby? "You don't want kids?" And then I have to laugh when I realize, "Probably a question to ask before I impulsively agreed to marry you."

"Probably. And I want whatever you want. But definitely a conversation for another time. Right now, you need to take your pill."

"Right now, I need to pee, and you need to turn the control knob down, just a notch."

He tenses, and I wonder if Dominant Christian is going to give us trouble today. But then he relaxes, and gently smacks my butt, as he relents, "You're right. Just don't forget your pill."

"I haven't so far. Want to arrange something less time sensitive when things settle down?"

"You'd do that?"

"Yes, darling. I won't always comply, but you get to ask me anything. That's how this works."

"Okay, thank you. Are you content to see the same doctor I've always used? Our relationship has only ever been professional. She's very good, and obviously discreet."

He can only be talking about his women. "You controlled even their contraception?"

"I controlled everything except their career and social circle, and I monitored those. You really want to do this now?"

He's right. "No. But we need to work on this communicating thing, and it's obviously not a possibility if we're within arm's reach of each other."

He chuckles, and says, "I've noticed that too. How about I leave you alone for now? You know your way around this suite, and have Taylor's number. He can drive you home, and then you and Ray to the campus. Kate wants me to do some schmoozing before things kick off. She's very ambitious, isn't she?"

"Guilt, because she'll inherit a media empire...and she genuinely has a passion for journalism. Okay, darling, my bits and I could do with a break about now. I'll see you after the ceremony? Dad really wants to meet you, and I want to tell him in person that we're engaged."

I'm in his arms again. "I'd like that too. And, just so you know, I'll be watching you from the stage, and I will be doing my best to not scare your classmates with my resulting erection."

Of course, I can feel that he's already turned on, and that means I'm already turned on too. But I really don't want to explain to Ray that I stood him up because I simply had to fuck my boyfriend...fiancée once more before breakfast, so I resist provoking him. "I think maybe you'd better go, or I won't even make it to the bathroom, let alone the campus."

His laughter is steaming hot pancakes, and he kisses me before stepping aside. "My lady."

I imitate a curtsy, and say "My lord," before heading to the bathroom. There is no warning when he smacks my ass, hard this time.

"What the fuck was that for?"

I can hear his smile when he says, "Now you'll be thinking of me too."

"I'm currently thinking not nice things about you."

He just laughs, and I hear him heading towards the door, as he vows, "No, you're not."

It seems that an eternity has passed before I'm on stage, and someone is announcing my name. The faculty have provided an usher for me and the few other visually impaired students. But I want to do this bit myself, so she's waiting by the steps at the other end of the stage...I hope. As I reach Christian, he shakes my hand, saying, "Congratulations, Ms. Steele."

Of course, his tie is again wrapped around my wrist, and he teases those jolts of pleasure beneath the silk as the gesture drags on a little long for propriety. "Thank you, Mr. Grey." My voice is weary.

I can practically feel his concern, but the next graduate has already been announced, so he releases me, and I move on. There is far too much time for overthinking before the ceremony is finally done. I'm trying to make my way through the crowd to Dad, when Kate finds me, to say, "Christian is looking for you."

"Dad's waiting for me by the fire hose."

"I'll entertain Ray. Just follow the corridor left of the stage."

"Okay. Oh, you nailed that speech. It sounded like a standing ovation."

I can hear the pride in her voice, as she says, "Looked like it too. I'll take Ray to the marquee, and keep him company until you find us. I know he doesn't like crowds."

"Thanks."

I soon hear Christian, and a couple of vaguely familiar voices. He excuses himself, and takes my hand, guiding me further into the building. The celebration sounds far away when he opens a door, and ushers me inside. I'm really not in the mood for sex right now. "Christian, I don't want_"

"What's going on? What's upset you?"

"Nothing, really. I think it's all just a bit much today."

He smooths the frown on my brow that I didn't even know was there, and says, "Baby, please, if I'm getting something wrong, just tell me."

His sincerity is my undoing. "Why do you want to marry me?"

"Why? Because I love you, and want to spend the rest of my life pleasing you. I was under the distinct impression that you reciprocated."

Okay, that does sound like a good reason. "I think...when we're together, like at Escala, everything seems so easy. But, when we're apart...and I know that's dumb, because_"

"What's triggered this? Was it me smacking your ass? Because I can live without all that shit, if I have you."

Fuck, and now I'm blushing. "No. I don't mind that so much."

His laughter is a caress. "That's what I thought." Gently pulling me close, and guiding my head to rest on his chest, he whispers, "Just talk to me, baby. Nothing you feel is dumb."

His strong heartbeat is a little distracting, but I confess, "A couple of girls were talking about you, and that video of us. They never for a moment thought you and I are a couple. They assumed I must be a relative."

"Why the fuck would you care what a couple of mean girls think?"

"I guess...I just don't understand what you see in me. And, even as I say that, it doesn't make any sense, because you have frequently shown me, in so many ways, that you find me attractive."

"Very attractive." He takes a deep breath, and says, "Within seconds of meeting you, I knew you were brave, smart, funny, intuitive, a loyal friend, stubbornly independent, and smoking hot. By the time you said goodbye, it was testing my control to the limits not to proposition you right then and there, even though I've never done that, because I had a powerful feeling that I was letting something really good slip through my fingers. I don't understand how you can doubt this."

"I don't either. I'm sorry."

He lifts my chin up, and growls, "Don't apologize, for fuck's sake. Just tell me what you think is missing."

Oh. "Maybe an engagement ring?"

He laughs, and cradles me to him again, saying, "I've already commissioned the piece. It'll take a little while, because I want one that feels beautiful, and has meaning for us, as well as looking good enough to be worthy of the future Mrs. Grey. I wasn't actually sure you'd want one, as you don't wear any jewelry."

"I didn't even know I wanted it, until just now. I mostly don't bother with accessories, because I can't see them. But...promise not to use this against me?"

His warm laughs rumbles through me, and he says, "Baby, I think you know by now that I'll never agree to that. But I can promise to still love you."

I'm unlikely to get a better deal. "I want people to see it and know that I'm yours."

When he's suddenly gone from me, I don't have to wait long for the reason. "Right, we're going to go find your father, and tell him about the engagement. Hopefully, by then, my cock will have calmed down a little."

We manage to find a quiet moment to break the news to Dad, who's immediately silent long enough that I begin to imagine how stunned he must look. But he soon announces one of his bear hugs, and kisses my cheek as he releases me, saying, "Well, this is sudden, but congratulations, Annie." And then I presume that he's shaking Christian's hand, because he says, "And congratulations to you too, son. Ana has never called me about a boy before, so I figured that you're special."

So he won't worry what I said, I lean towards Christian to quietly reveal, "About the PTSD."

He squeezes my hand, and says, "I'd hate to disagree with you so soon after meeting, sir. But Anastasia is the one who's special. I'm merely very lucky."

"Well said, young man. We're going to grab lunch together, before I have to head back. Would you like to join us?"

"I would, but unfortunately have social obligations here this afternoon."

And then the only warning I have is a cry of "Ana Banana," before I'm swept up and around by strong arms that I know very well.

"Ethan! When did you get back? Does Kate know you're here?"

He lets my feet touch ground, and steadies me while saying, "She does now, though I managed to surprise her. I couldn't miss this; my little sister all grown up and Valedictorian. You look amazing, Ana." He gently tugs my hair, like he's always done, and says, "You're not that scrawny kid anymore."

Worried just how many of Christian's shades are currently jockeying for position in the race to take over his behavior, I say, "Uh, Ethan, this is Christian Grey, my fiancée, though please keep that to yourself for now. Ethan is Kate's older brother, and my friend since forever."

"Fiancée?" Ethan's voice is incredulous.

I really wish I could see what's going on with Christian. As it is, all I can do is listen to the long second of silence before Ethan says, "Right, uh, pleasure to meet you."

"Good to meet you, Ethan. Kate certainly did her family and the university proud today. I'm glad you could be here to support her." Christian's voice is cool, clear water.

I hear Ethan's palm smack his forehead in a very familiar gesture, as he says, "Oh, crap, I already forgot why she sent me to find you, Ana. We're having a family celebration after this, before we all head our separate ways again. And Mom said to invite you and Ray. Uh, I'm sure you'd be welcome too, Christian, given the circumstances."

"I'm afraid that Ana and I have plans this evening."

We do? "And Dad has to head home after lunch. But it was so good to see you, Ethan. And please say hi to your mom and dad for me."

"Will do." And I'm in his arms again, though he thankfully leaves me standing this time. And then he holds my shoulders for a moment, to say, "Ana Banana, all grown up and engaged." He kisses me on the forehead, farewells Dad and Christian, and is gone.

Ray laughs a little, and says, "Some things never change. He was always a whirlwind."

Christian sounds far too calm when he says, "Well, I'll let you two catch up. Mind if I have a minute with your daughter, sir?"

Dad laughs a little, saying, "I don't mind, if Ana doesn't."

I know we're out of earshot when Christian says, "I'm not jealous, okay? But I'm not sure that I'll ever like him. He seems to have the worst bits of your friend, and manhandles my fiancée as well."

"Not jealous, huh?"

"Well, not very. I never had to deal with these feelings before. I like Ray."

I giggle, and say, "I think he likes you too, though I doubt he's used to being sirred quite so often."

"I was raised to respect my elders, so he'll just have to get used to it. And he's walking this way, so I'm going to kiss you, and somehow find the strength to leave you for now."

"Oh, what plans do we have?"

"Well, if Kate is busy with her family all evening, I thought we might work our way through my bag of tricks, and see if I can manage to keep you awake this time. And I won't have to worry about you scaring the people in adjacent suites with your screams.

Screams? "O...okay."

He's holding me close enough that his laugh rolls through me, and then he kisses me before saying, "God, I love you. Until tonight, Anastasia."

Unsure, specifically, what Christian has in store for me, I decide against changing out of Kate's dress, and merely remove my shoes and watch. When the doorbell rings, I press the intercom to ask, "Yes?"

"Let me in, let me in, or I'll kick this door in." His voice is the big, bad wolf. Playful Christian.

My laughter is excited joy. "Yes, sir."

I'm in his arms only seconds after he enters. He no longer seems even a bit afraid of me touching his chest while we're both wearing clothes, though I keep my arms still. When he finally ends the kiss, and rubs his nose along mine for a second, he purrs, "I really do like this gown."

He hadn't seemed able to stop himself caressing my exposed back any chance he had today. "I noticed. It's borrowed though, so please don't destroy it with your bag of tricks."

His hands still for a moment, and then he says, "You're not a bit afraid, are you?"

"Of you? No. I am a little afraid of...I don't know...of me, I guess."

"You're afraid how much you'll like it, of how far you'll let me go." His voice is the scared little boy.

"Yes. It was the same for you?"

He's anxious enough to need some space, so I resist the urge to reach for him, as he explains, "Eventually. At first, I was just confusion and hormones, and had no fucking clue how to articulate my needs. Did your research cover hard and soft limits?"

"Things I'm prepared to try, and things I'm not?"

"Essentially. I doubt you'd enjoy advanced scenes, or you would have already found a way to make it happen. But, in case you do, not even you could entice me to mar your flawless skin, okay? We can take a timeout to discuss parameters, if you'd prefer. But you're almost as innocent as I was, so you'd only be guessing. And I'll go slow...perhaps skip a few levels from the mitt, given how that went."

And I'm back to unafraid. Acting on intuition seems to be working for us, so I let my hands fall by my side, bow my head slightly, and vow, "At your pleasure, sir."

His sharp intake of breath is validation. The next time I become aware of him, he's behind me, undoing the dress. Without a word, he lets it fall to the floor, and then takes my hand while I step out of it. After a few seconds of him moving around, he's before me, and says, "Congratulations, Graduate."

I lift my arms, and encounter a long, slim giftbox. It feels fairly light. Burning with curiosity, I untie the bow, and hand him the lid, to explore the contents with my fingers. After a few seconds, I laugh, and say, "I can see why you didn't give me this earlier."

His voice replete with secrets, he says, "Yes. I doubt Ray would have reacted so favorably if you'd opened it in front of him. Hold it. Feel it."

I hand him the empty box, and hold the riding crop in both hands, to really explore it. Christian's breathing becomes audible at some point, and I giggle, saying, "Well, someone's enjoying this."

"Because I know you will. Describe what you're feeling."

"Uh, excited, more than a little turned on knowing that you are too, and...valued, I guess. This feels like a quality item."

"You know riding crops?" His voice is a little boy waking up, and remembering that it's his birthday.

"Dad used to manage a horse stud. Maybe I could teach you a few things about whips?"

"Anastasia, you educate me every moment I'm with you. Now, hit your palm, feel what that's like."

The sound makes me jump, and I can't help a gasp of a laugh, before saying, "Startling, obviously. But it didn't hurt."

"Exactly. While it can inflict pain, this is a tool to stimulate, not hurt. And it's yours. I'll never use it on anyone else."

"Oh, I like that." Acting on impulse again, I offer him the handle.

He takes it from me, saying, "You're sure Kate is gone for the evening?"

"Uh, obviously I can't be certain, but Kavanagh family dinners rarely end before midnight. Why?"

He quickly kisses me, saying, "Never you mind. Wait here." It seems like a long time before he eventually returns and takes my hand, leading me towards my bedroom. Once there, he explains, "From now on, you won't speak, except to safeword or answer a question, understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"How does that make you feel?"

"Uh, a little scared, but still turned on."

He chuckles, saying, "A promising start." The next thing I'm aware of is something closing around my left wrist, and a few clicks as it tightens. I almost ask him if it's padded handcuffs, but remember in time to keep quiet. So far, that's the only difficult thing about this experiment. "And how do you feel now?"

"Impatient."

He laughs out loud this time, and says, "Well, we definitely need to cure you of that." But I can tell he's really pleased with my answer, and that pleases me too.

"Stop biting you lip. I'm having enough trouble as it is. If you're getting worried, just Charlie, okay?"

"Uh, it's not really a Charlie. I just...in case I'm too exhausted when you're finished with me, I want you to know that I really appreciate you doing this for us."

"You're welcome, baby. And you will be exhausted by the time I'm finished with you." And then there is nothing but the flames, as he guides me to the doorway, and lifts my arms, soon closing a cuff over my other wrist. He's gone from my body, but says nothing, so I test the bonds. There's somehow now a bar across the top of my doorway, and I'm chained to that, but my feet are still flat on the floor. "How's that?" His voice is smoldering embers.

"Uh, a little scary, but mainly because you went quiet. The rest of it is still the hot kind of scary. Is there any point asking what you'll do next?"

And the riding crop slams across my butt, as he roars, "I didn't give you permission to ask questions."

"Charlie."

He's soothing my butt with his palm, and his tone is much softer when he asks, "Because?"

"You didn't sound like you just now." My voice is a scared little girl.

"So you'll remember the rules from now on?"

Damn, he's right. "Yes, sir."

He kisses my back, saying, "Good. Thank you, for using the safeword. Now shut up, and feel." So I feel, every lick of the riding crop on my body, until my skin is alive with sensation. When he hits the point where my butt meets my thighs, I can't help but cry out. "Easy, baby. Or even our neighbors at the Heathman will hear. We've got a long way to go yet." When I groan in frustration, he only laughs, but he sounds so relaxed.

When he hits me this time in the same spot, I manage to keep quiet, but cry out again when he soon hits one pearled nipple, and then the other. I'm quivering, and feel like I exist purely as nerve ends, when he finally removes my panties. I'd honestly forgotten they were still on, the snug fabric not nearly enough to register over all the other sensations. When they're gone, he kisses me right on my wilderness, and comments, "Maybe I will tame this a little. You'll be able to feel more then." He wants to shave me? "Stop biting your lip, or I won't be able to wait." And then I'm weeping. "Fuck! You'll be free in a moment, baby, it's okay. I've got you."

"No, I'm...please, it's...I just suddenly felt overwhelmed. But no unpleasant pain, I promise."

One hand firm on my back, and the other reaching up to the cuffs, he asks, "You're sure?" When did he strip?

Furiously blinking away the traitorous tears, I plead, "I'm sure."

After a tender, lingering kiss, he says, "Okay, we'll skip to the finale. I'm going to turn you. The cuffs will pull a bit tighter, but you won't be like that for long. And then I'm going to fuck you while facing your bed."

A sound escapes me, something between a moan and a whimper, and then I'm spinning. Thankfully, not for very long. He pushes my legs apart with his. The strain in my shoulders is beginning to demand my attention, but then I hear a sound like an electric toothbrush. Vibrator? It touches my lower back, creating a delicious ripple of mild pleasure through my groin. It moves down my butt crack, making me squirm, and Christian's lips are by my right ear when he reveals, "You missed the discreet button on the handle."

The riding crop? "Oh, fuck!"

His laughter is promises, made and fulfilled. "As m'lady commands."

The vibration is inside me, twirling and twisting, until I almost can't bear it. Only when his palm connects hard with my butt do I fulfill his earlier promise to make me scream, as an orgasm rips through me like an assault. I've barely recovered when the crop is gone, and Christian replaces it, filling me and surrounding me. "Come on, baby, once more for me."

I dimly register that he must have stayed erect this whole time, and my last coherent thought is that perhaps I really am special, as pure sensation takes over, until I can't even tell where I end and he begins.

I'm in my bed, as the little spoon again, and Christian hasn't stopped touching me. It's not sexual anymore, just a constant connection, as if he truly can't help himself. My breathing is returning to normal when he kisses my shoulder, and asks, "Baby?"

Only then do I realize that I literally am not moving except for the breathing. I rub his arm in reassurance, and say, "Shattered, but in a good way. That was amazing, thank you."

He holds me a little tighter, saying, "Yes, it was. How are your shoulders?"

I flex them a little, and report, "Not too bad. The dojo is closed for the summer, and I won't be back anyway. But perhaps I should make training a priority after the move. Oh, that reminds me, how do you stay so fit?"

"Various sports, mainly kickboxing, and extremely willing women."

I giggle, and say, "Presumably not at the same time?"

"No, though I really would like to spar with you one day. I'm sure you know why close contact sports have never been part of my regimen, but I think it will soon be tolerable with you."

"Are you dosed tonight?"

He kisses my shoulder again, and reveals, "No. I wanted to feel."

"So, they're fast-acting?"

"Yes. Flynn is waiting on the results of a physical before prescribing long-term meds, but the beta-blockers he started me on are mild. You don't mind talking about this?"

"No. You have a medical condition, and you're following medical advice. I can well imagine that Dominant Christian has a problem with it, but I don't."

His laughter is a warm blanket, and he says, "Dominant Christian likes you a lot."

"I could tell." And then I feel the proof. "Oh, no. Not again."

He shuffles a little, so that I no longer feel his erection, and says, "No, not right now; he's just remembering how completely you surrender during a scene. Go pee, and then I'll give you a massage."

"Marry me."

He laughs, saying, "No can do. I'm already promised." Gently nudging me, he says, "Go. I cleared your path."

"Oh, where's the crop?"

"Already, baby?"

"Not that. But we'll need to wash it, right? I presume it's not actually plaited leather, though it felt like it."

"Silicone. And I'll take care of that. You take care of your bladder. I don't want a UTI holding up your education."

Yes, that was a lesson. "I meant to tell you. The crying. I said that I felt overwhelmed. It was suddenly too much, how you seem to only think of my needs all the time. I like it...love it, but I've spent so long fighting for independence, that it...I guess it felt like giving up who I'd become, sort of like what you said about being torn apart...I'm not making sense, sorry."

He holds me tight again, saying, "I understand. It's what you do for me, effortlessly disproving everything I thought that I knew about myself, and somehow instead making me who I was meant to be. And me needing to care for you won't mean sacrificing your independence, not more than you want anyway. There will be tough times, but we'll get there together, okay? I won't run away again."

"Well, fuck, now I'm crying again."