"Silence is of different kinds, and breathes different meanings."

Disclaimer: I don't own Mai HiME.

Beta: Akira Sasaki

Flower on a high peak

Takane no hana 高嶺の花

Literally translated as, "Flower on a high peak." It means, "something out of one's reach." Some things are beautiful to look at, but realistically, there is no way you can get them. The object might be something that you want very much but can't have it.

Prelude

Please don't leave me. Everyone I've ever cared for left me in the end. So please, stay by my side. Without you, I am nothing.

"Take care then" was the only thing I was able to say, as you stood in front of that damn taxi. I could see my reflection in your eyes. It has always been that way, but I can also see the pain. The pain I brought to you and I still bring you. The cab is still waiting for you. The cab that will take you to the airport and out of my life.

I took you for granted. You were never asking or requesting anything from me. And I know you're longing for the words that could save you; save us both. But you would never, never ask me for anything like that. Never pushing me, leaving my feelings as clueless as always, and sometimes, I hate you for that.

No, that's not true, because I could never hate you. I hate myself for being such a coward. I can't... I just can't let my weak heart take control over my tired brains. I still can't forget that you betrayed my trust. And I just can't forget that anyone who finds the door into my broken heart will leave it closed for good. And now, it's your turn. Shit, is there someone else to blame other than me?

"I love you, Natsuki." It's only a whisper while you slowly turn away to get into the cab. I can't stand this any longer: I need to go. So I just turn around and walk away, as always. I just can't face you anymore. I know your eyes would bring me to my knees and I don't want to be that weak. I hear the cab's engine starting and then... you're gone. I look at the small envelope you gave me a few moments ago. Three words:

"Takane no hana" is beautifully written on it. So this is how you see me: as a flower on a high peak.

I've never known why you would think so highly of me. I'm despicable, you know? I can't even be true to myself and I keep on hurting the only person who ever really cared for me. I still can't believe in love. I used to believe my mother loved me, but now I know it was only an illusion, because it's fact that her job was more important to her.

You say you love me, but then, one day you leave. I wonder what love means. In my eyes, love and pain are equal. There is no difference in between. And if that's the case, then I think I love you as well, because my heart is aching so much that I can hardly breathe. A spiral of emotions, a long path full of thorns. Feels... human in a way.

Shizuru, please... Please come back to me and make this awful pain disappear; like always... Save me one more time...

A/N: I'll upload the first chapter sooner or later. It's done so don't worry lol (as if you would)