The Fruit of All Evil
AKA: Four fools and a fruit tree.
Chapter 1: A Seed of Adventure (Marisa Kirisame):
At the Kirisame Magic Shop, all was quiet in the pre-dawn light. The only sounds to be heard was the whistling of wind blowing through the trees, the fluttering of fairy wings, and, of course, the loud and raucous snoring of the witch Marisa Kirisame. This was fairly standard for this time in the morning, the quiet before the storm, the swirling dervish of activity and outstanding violence that donned a wide-brimmed black hat. Yes, all was calm, peaceful. If one was unfamiliar with the slumbering witch, one might imagine that this was a place of stillness, a clearing of trees marked by the sweet tranquility of the forest. Yet, to one in the know, it was apparent that this was a fragile peace, balanced upon the edge of a knife, to be shattered by the slightest interruption. The moon slid below the horizon, as the orange light of dawn painted the clearing. Yes, very soon now. The fluttering of wings retreated; even the fairies knew what was about to happen. The quiet of Gensokyo trembled in fear, knowing its life was soon to disappear. All the world held its breath.
Suddenly, the quiet was shattered by the squawking of a bird youkai, so overtaken with pleasure at seeing the sun that, for a moment, she forgot just where she was. The loud snoring dulled, then stopped altogether. A pair of eyes snapped open.
All hell broke loose. All the quiet in the world keeled over and died. How was all the tranquillity of a billion souls to compete with that roiling ball of motion?
Marisa Kirisame blindly reached for the closest object to her, which was a book that was not in fact her own. With a grunt of exertion she threw it with all her force through her open window, towards the feathered shape set against the orange sky.
"Would ya keep it down ya winged git?" she roared, fumbling for a small wooden box placed upon her dresser. The youkai squeaked, hastily flapping her wings, trying to retreat into the forest before…
"Love Sign: Master Spark!"
The wall to the house was blown apart as a mass of prismatic rainbow energy burst outwards towards the rapidly disappearing youkai. She swivelled around, the light reflected in her eyes growing brighter and brighter. She gulped, uttering a terrified "B-gawk!"
A single perfectly-cooked roasted turkey fell to the ground, landing with a crunch in a mass of dried leaves. Marisa licked her lips; that was breakfast sorted. Good thing, too; she was pretty sure those mushrooms she had scavenged yesterday were incredibly poisonous. Of course, the gaping hole in her house would have to be fixed, but what day wasn't that the case?
She rose from her bed, searching amidst the various detritus scattered around for her usual black and white dress and wide-brimmed hat. With some degree of annoyance she noticed a large burn blasted straight through her frilly apron. Cloth resistant to the various chemicals a witch like her played with was expensive! That meant that it was typically guarded and more difficult to steal!
As she leapt down through the scorched hole in her wall and brushed the worst of the dirt from her breakfast, she scratched her head in thought. She was pretty sure there was something she had to do today, something of some reasonable importance. Yes, she remembered, she had gone to bed quite excited, although the large amount of poisonous mushrooms in her system seemed to have dulled her memory. She ran through a mental checklist of what might have caused her such excitement, munching on a drumstick as she thought.
It wasn't an incident, that much was clear. The fairies all around her were much too placid for that. Fairies were nearly so excitable as she herself in the face of an incident. If all was not altogether right with Gensokyo, they would be swarming all over in a mad scramble. That meant the odds were there was something worth stealing, but what exactly was perplexing. The residual burns on not only her clothes, but also herself implied that Patchouli would be on guard after her most recent foiled robbery, so her favourite target was at this time not optimal for thievery.
Marisa pressed the half-eaten drumstick to her chin, searching her soul deeply for any shred of memory that remained to her. It was all a sort of giddy haze, much of which she had no way of differentiating from the mushroom-induced hallucinations. After all, in Gensokyo of all places it was entirely possible that the army of tap-dancing frogs wearing Alice's exact dress was, in fact, completely real.
She smeared grease further across her face, nibbling at the love-seared youkai absently. What could it be? The answer hit her like a bolt of lightning. She dropped her half-eaten breakfast in the dirt, ignoring as it slowly limped away grumbling profusely, and darted back into her house. A great clattering and crashing drifted from the little house as Marisa sifted through the various detritus in search of… There!
Marisa dumped a vast, heavy book onto her table, which buckled under the impact and collapsed onto the floor. Shrugging, Marisa knelt and ran her fingers across the cover. It was an ornate book, quite treasured by its previous youkai owner, set with silver and jade and adorned with a ridiculously elaborate script. The writing on the front read, "Encyclopedia of our planet's rarest and most treasured flora: A witch's guide to mythical plants, by Isobel Gowdie".
The black-white witch's fingers were a blur of motion, flicking through page after page, skimming some distance into the book's heart. She smiled, rustling around among her other notes. Her calculations were, in truth, both elegant and precise, though utterly indecipherable to any onlooker. She spoke aloud, lecturing her hat as though it was her own disciple.
"The Apple of Eden," she stated. "Sprouts just once every century! If my calculations are correct, it's due to grow somewhere in Gensokyo, some time today, and I'm gonna eat it!"
She clutched her cheeks dreamily. "She who eats the Apple of Eden will find knowledge far beyond her wildest imaginings! That's what the book says. I'll learn magic even Patchouli doesn't know! I'll be the best witch in Gensokyo!"
Her mind wandered to a picture of herself, resting atop a mountain of treasure, Alice and Patchouli in her arms gazing up at her with adoring eyes. At her side, Reimu fanned her with a palm frond. She laughed, sipping from the fancy drink resting in her hand. Surely, this was the life?
Returning to reality, Marisa nodded. That was her future, certainly. She looked around, searching for her latest notes, her theories as to where the apple might have sprouted. The darting of her eyes grew more and more frantic, until at last they settled on the charred hole still smouldering in her wall. A vague, blurry memory drifted to the forefront of her mind, a memory of placing the book against the wall in clear sight to jog her recollection.
Indeed, there the book was, its remnants rather. Each page was simply so much charcoal. Marisa sighed in disappointment, but one cannot keep a good witch down for long. She grabbed her broomstick, secured her hat more tightly atop her head, and once more stepped out into the forest.
She had a vague memory of speaking at some length with her fellow witch Alice Margatroid the previous night. The visions were hazy, and involved rather a lot of skinship, but it was entirely possible that the fruit's location had been divulged to her friend/rival in the course of the night's revelry.
Alice Margatroid lazily opened her eyes, the memories of the earlier night flooding back to her within moments of awakening. A huge smile beamed across her face at the recollection. What joyous news! Marisa was going to become a fully-fledged witch, at last! What's more, she planned to do so through such abrupt means as eating the Cursed Fruit of Makai! Surely such a sudden change would necessitate a guide to teach her all the ins and outs of her new body in exquisite, intimate detail!
Of course, Alice also felt a strong desire to eat the fruit herself. What witch didn't crave that forbidden fruit? Still, there remained plenty of time for such affairs, while her precious soon to be apprentice would not live to see another apple grow. Her thoughts flashed forward to the future, a century from now, where she and Marisa were cheerfully feeding each other slices of cursed apple.
"Oh, Marisa..." she sighed, gleefully accepting another apple slice within her mind's eye.
"Yes Alice, ze?" asked the very real Marisa standing in her doorway.
Alice squeaked, darting from her blankets to slam the door. Her cheeks were stained a bloody red, so flustered was the puppeteer. She quickly changed from her nightclothes into her usual dress and assorted ribbons, her eyes darting to the door to make sure Marisa wasn't watching.
Not that, in truth, Alice would have been altogether upset had her human friend made the choice to watch her, but it would not do to entertain such thoughts when company was present, least of all company of such a sensitive nature. Such thoughts were to be enjoyed in private.
She flung the door wide once again, her eyes level with her guest's hat. She was overwhelmed with an urge to pat Marisa's head, after all, it was at precisely the ideal elevation for such an action. How did such a cute, innocent creature take herself seriously?
"Ma… Marisa?" she asked, trying very hard to keep her voice level despite her pounding heart.
Marisa bowed past her, entering the puppeteer's room and helping herself to a seat upon the bed. Alice felt her heart beat a little faster. She felt grateful for the limitations of her human guest's senses, a youkai would surely have felt the rapid hammering of her heart even from across the room.
Alice cleared her throat, settling her nerves. "Is there something I can help you with, Marisa?"
Marisa looked around the room absently. "Hey, Alice ze? About last night..."
Alice blushed, remembering another factor of the previous night's revelry. Marisa seemed to have been rather more open to intimacy than usual. Alice had known the incredibly poisonous mushrooms that should have killed any normal human were to blame, but opportunities were made to be seized, and so too was Marisa. Alice had seized both with great gusto.
"Oh, last night?" asked Alice, a nervousness to her tone. "What about last night?"
Marisa lowered the brim of her hat, obscuring her eyes from Alice's sight. The puppeteer felt a lump form in her throat. Perhaps Marisa was mad about all the groping? No, the poison in her system should have wiped out at least three months of memory. The entire night aught to be at best a vague blur, even to one with Marisa's formidable tolerance to most poisons and toxins. If she just kept her cool…
"Did I happen to tell you where I would be going today when we spoke last night?" inquired Marisa, her casual tone rather forced and deliberate. Alice sighed in relief.
"Where you were going?" she echoed, pretending to search her memory. "Let me think. I believe you had some errand or other a little further into the forest."
She cast her eyes to her own notes, scattered across her desk and tastefully buried partially beneath a mass of sewing supplies. "Exactly four hundred and sixteen paces to the south-east of here."
Marisa frowned, scratching her head. "I was that specific?"
Alice nodded, a little too enthusiastically. "Oh, yes. Definitely. You were rather excited about something or other. Some human business that I didn't really pay attention to."
Marisa squinted. "But, you did pay attention to exactly where I was going ze?"
Alice smiled, a grin with a few too many teeth. "Oh, yes. I, well, I wanted to make sure it was safe, you see?"
Marisa rose to her feet, her thumb brushing the smoothed wood of her broomstick. "Why would you care if I'm safe or not, ze?"
Alice flushed deep red. "Well, ah, well, simply put, ah… Because you're my friend. That's what we are. Close friends, of the platonic variety."
Marisa wrapped the puppeteer up in a tight hug, although all her human strength was still rather gentle to Alice's youkai physique. "Aww! Awful sweet of ya, Alice! Da ze!"
Alice scrabbled at the human's clothing, struggling for words. All she could manage was a flustered "Awawawawawa!"
The hug lasted for a few seconds, and in as many seconds afterwards Marisa was gone. Alice stood still in her home, torn between delight, embarrassment, and a vague sense of dread.
A sudden thought gripped her mind, a vision of the reckless human, already capable of so much unbridled destruction, wielding the power of a fully-fledged witch. Her cheeks turned abruptly from red to white. Was this to be the day that, in times to come, would be considered the last peaceful day of Gensokyo?
She drew an ebony tome from its hiding place, slapping it onto her desk with a jolt of rainbow energy. "Just in case," she assured herself.
"Just in case."
Marisa Kirisame counted the paces in her mind, her excitement building with each footstep. Soon, very soon, all the knowledge that was hidden from mortal men would be hers to consume. Her research had been quite vague as to the actual effects of the Apple of Eden, but all sources agreed that the flesh of that bad apple would give more knowledge than an entire library of arcane writing.
She stepped out into the clearing. There it was before her, exactly as it was drawn on the pages waiting in her home. She drank in every detail of the tree, from its roots to the tips of its branches. Normally, the sight would have given her tremendous satisfaction, but today was different.
As her eyes washed over the branches, scanning from their bases to their tips, she noticed one bothersome detail, one that rather ruined her plans.
Not a single branch bore fruit. There was supposed to be a lone golden apple held aloft somewhere on the tree before her, but no such apple was to be found. There was however a roughly snapped branch, a sign that some eager hand had plucked the fruit away.
Marisa's eye twitched. Her smile grew fixed. She drew her mini-Hakkero from within the folds of her dress. When she spoke, her voice was a mere whisper, a far cry from her usual boisterous shout.
"Somebody is about to have a very bad day," she muttered. "My apple. It had damned well better not have been eaten, ze. I'll eat the eater's liver if I have to, don't think I won't!"
She wheeled around on her ankle. The first suspect was, of course, an obvious one. Who else knew the precise location of the Apple of Eden? On further consideration, Alice had been acting in a rather curious manner.
"Alice, I take back my hug."
I thought I'd try my hand at comedy. It's much shorter and snappier than Song of Knowledge. Bite-sized, I guess.
I can make a new chapter in a reasonable time, so it's easier to fit into my schedule, and to be frank...
Song of Knowledge is quite an ambitious project. Not to mention a story one, perhaps a bit edgy even. I do try to be a bit reserved, but that can be exhaustiing. Being stormy without edgy. Being exploratory without being waffling. Unpacking Gensokyo with my own spin, while still respecting the source. It's fun, but tiring, and I'm not sure how well I even do.
Sometimes it's nice to write something fluffy and fun.
Besides. I am well suited to comedy from verbal contrast.
This is just a bit of fun. Song of Knowledge is not cancelled... Though I suspect this has more universal appeal anyway. I mean, who is gonna read 70000 words of self-indulgant waffling aimed around dismantling fundamental tenants and seeing what happens? It's not exactly classy enough to be classical literature, nor is it snappy enough to be popcorn.
Now this? This is popcorn. Popcorn is nice sometimes.