Author's 1st Note: I'M STILL HERE!

Oh my goodness, it has definitely been a MINUTE! Despite being away for so long, I made a promise to you guys that I would not abandon this fic and although it sometimes feels like I have, don't worry because I am determined to finish this fic no matter what.

Thank you all for your patience. It has been too long. But I hope you enjoy the new chapter!

"Gimme another one," Beca muttered, planting the champagne glass onto the bar counter and wiping the bit of orange juice that had dropped down her chin with the back of her hand.

She had lost count on how many mimosas she already had, but judging by the bartender's disapproving look and the queasy feeling building in her stomach, Beca had a feeling she probably had enough.

Her ears suddenly perked up when she thought she heard Chloe's laugh coming from somewhere behind her and she quickly spun around in her chair to scan the area. There was a small crowd of scattered guests walking around the vicinity and when Beca spotted a flash of red hair she instantly stood up and stepped to approach the person, but stopped when she realized it… wasn't Chloe.

Her brow furrowed as tears started to well up in her eyes and she shook her head before returning to her previous spot at the bar. Beca's stomach may have been churning, but the slight nausea didn't compare to the heavy ache she felt in her chest. So she downed one last mimosa and mentally counted the many ways she was a bitter and lonely jerk.

The boat had already docked and the guests were shortly going to be released to explore the lovely island of St. John, but Beca had already made the decision to not join the Bellas and instead spend the day alone so she could sulk in her misery in peace. Hell, she might as well do that for the rest of the trip.

There was one more full day of cruise life left before this impactful vacation was going to be over and everyone's lives would go back to normal.

Beca sniffed at the thought. Who was she kidding? There was no way in hell her life was going to go back to "normal" after this trip. Whatever "normal" really was anyway. Perhaps she should just leave the Bellas all together once they returned home. Move out of the acapella house and never see Chloe again.

It wasn't at all what Beca truly wanted, but leaving everything she actually cared about was probably the best option. Maybe not for her, but at least it would mean she wouldn't be able to hurt Chloe anymore. Or ever again for that matter.

"Ugh…" Beca groaned, dropping her head and digging her fingers into her scalp. She wasn't really sure what she was going to do.

"You look like shit."

Beca flinched at the familiar voice that suddenly appeared next to her. Fuck. She was so not in the mood for a lecture.

Beca sighed heavily before reluctantly lifting her head to give a tight, exhausted smile at Jesse, who was leaning against the bar with his arms crossed.

"Wow," she said, sourly. "That's the harshest way you've ever greeted me." She dropped the fake smile and turned her head to stare at her empty mimosa glass, too drained to give Jesse anything else.

He huffed a short chuckle, recognizing her poor attempt at sarcastic humor and shook his head before pulling out the stool next to her and sitting down, a worried expression written on his face.

"Beca, what are you doing here?" he asked, his voice soft, comforting even. "Are you alright?"

Beca tittered.

"I could ask you the same thing," she said, turning in her chair to look at him with tired eyes. "Shouldn't you be hanging out with your best bros? You know, Benji, Luke–" She was counting on her fingers as she said their names before gasping dramatically and placing her hand on her chest. "And let's not forget everyone's favorite, Prince Charming! No wait, I'm sorry," she continued, hitting her head for theatrical effect. "His name is Chicago. My bad. I forgot."

For a moment, Jesse just stared at her with concern. He wasn't aware of what had happened between her and Chloe after they ran off, but judging by her broken appearance, Jesse assumed it couldn't have been good.

Not to mention the harsh attitude she was giving him, though by this point that was something he was more familiar with.

"Yeah, um–" He cleared his throat before he continued. "Chicago and I aren't exactly on the best terms right now after what happened last night."

His statement confused Beca. "What do you mean?"

"You don't know?"

Beca blinked at him, "Know what?"

Jesse sighed.

"Well, after you left shit really hit the fan. For starters, Chloe got really upset and smacked Chicago pretty hard before going after you."

Beca's brows rose in surprise at that. Chloe smacked him in the face?! God… what she would pay to go back in time to witness that. Maybe Lily could help her with that…

Focus, Mitchell!

"She did what?" Beca asked, still surprised.

"Yup," Jesse nodded. "Clear across the face."

"But… why?" Beca already had a theoretical answer to her own question, considering when she really thought about the events of the previous night, all she had seen was Chloe and Chicago already kissing. She hadn't seen what led up to the event and after Beca had stormed out, all she could see was red.

"I mean, he seriously deserved it, if you ask me. Chloe didn't want to kiss him, but he pretty much forced himself onto her and even though she tried to push to get him off, he didn't seem to take the hint and just held her tighter."

Beca's jaw dropped.

"What!?"

A sudden wave of anger quickly came over her. That son of a bitch! Who the fuck did he think he was forcing himself onto Chloe? Beca was physically, mentally, and emotionally drained, but if Chicago suddenly walked by, she wouldn't hesitate to punch his stupid little face in.

"Not to mention he's a dick for even trying to get with Chloe in the first place," Jesse said, tittering and shaking his head before he continued. "Cheating prick."

Beca was instantly yanked from her savage thoughts when Jesse added that last comment.

"Wait, what did you just say?" she asked, staring at him.

Jesse shrugged.

"I said he's a cheating prick. We come all the way out here and go on this cruise for his bachelor party and he has the nerve to just–"

"Chicago is engaged?!" Beca exclaimed, cutting Jesse off. "Are you serious?"

"As shitty as it is to say… yeah. Yeah he is," he said. "He's engaged and me and the guys are his groomsmen. This trip was supposed to be fun. A way for us to hangout one last time as bachelors before he got married, but…" Jesse paused and his shoulders deflated a little. "Look Chicago's been one of my best friends for years, and I've always known him to be a bit of a flirt, but if I'm being completely honest... " He shook his head, "I think he's more than crossed a few lines on this trip and I'm just really disappointed in him. I thought–"

Beca tilted her head as she watched him. It was strange seeing Jesse like this. Beca had only known him a few days, but so far, she had always known him to be an energetic– most of the times annoying– but overall happy guy. She had never seen him sad before.

It was… weird. Beca actually felt sorry for him.

Jesse shook off whatever deep thought he seemed to be having and sighed.

"I don't know," he said. "I just thought he was better than that." He shook his head. "I guess not."

This new information sank deep into Beca's psyche. A guy who everyone thought was great and genuine turns out to be a cheating douchebag… Beca felt like she was having deja vú. Her thoughts immediately flew back to her past. When her father, who she thought the world of, decided to shatter everything Beca knew.

It was easier finding someone else to blame and focus her anger on. Despite her father being the reason everything Beca ever knew and loved completely shattered around her, he was still her father. There was a part of her that wanted to believe the affair was more, if not completely, Chloe's mother's fault, but after all these years of blinded animosity, Beca realized it was probably about damn time for her to get real with herself.

"Wow," Beca finally said, after a few moments of silence. "I really am a fucking idiot."

Meanwhile, the rest of the Bellas were lined up with many of the other cruise guests, patiently waiting to be released into St. John. Chloe was still trying her best to distract herself from her unrelenting thoughts of Beca, but despite her best efforts, Chloe had a feeling Beca's face wasn't going to leave her mind for a very long time.

"Chloe, can I talk to you for a sec?"

Chloe turned at the sound of Stacie's voice and smiled, her "I'm-totally-fine-and-not-completely-heartbroken" facade instantly kicking into gear.

"Yeah, sure!"

Stacie smiled tightly at her and placed a hand on her back to gently guide her a few feet away.

"So, listen, there's something you need to know. Something Aubrey and I didn't get to tell you last night."

Chloe furrowed her brow, "What is it?"

"Well, um–" Stacie nibbled on her bottom lip for a moment as she contemplated whether she should continue or not. She eventually gave a sigh in defeat and figured it was best for Chloe to know the full truth about Chicago.

"You were so upset last night, and Aubrey and I didn't want to add to what you were going through or anything, but… There's something you need to know about Chicago."

Chloe huffed at the sheer mention of his name and crossed her arms.

"What? That he's not a total creep?"

"No, he's definitely a creep," Stacie agreed. "But, he's actually an even creepier creep than you think."

Chloe tilted her head in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, after you smacked him– which, nicely done by the way," Stacied added, playfully elbowing Chloe in the side. "His friend Jesse came out of the club and told us that Chicago is engaged!"

Chloe's eyes widened, "He's what?!" Her exclamation came out louder than she had intended and her shoulders rose apologetically as she looked at the startled guests surrounding them. "Sorry."

Chloe turned her attention back to the appalling news she just learned of and gawked.

What a fucking low life! What a lying, cheating, son of a bitch, "Asshole! He was engaged this entire time?" She groaned and tightly crossed her arms, shaking her head in disbelief. "I can't believe him!"

Her wave of anger suddenly collided with a surge of revulsion and disappointment. Did he really think that low of Chloe? Not that his opinion really held any weight, but Chloe had always tried so hard not to be like her mother. To not be "the other woman" in some already existing relationship.

Maybe Beca was right. Maybe she really is more like her mother than she thought.

Chloe shook the urge to shed a tear and inhaled deeply.

"Fuck, Chicago," Stacie said, placing a comforting hand on Chloe's shoulder, her eyes going wide once she realized how what she had said sounded. "Not like that. You know what I mean."

Chloe chuckled at Stacie's failed attempt to support and smiled despite the sunken weight she suddenly felt in the pit of her stomach.

"Thanks, Stace. I really appreciate you." Stacie may not have always said the right thing, but she was always there for Chloe whenever she needed a friend the most, and that was something Chloe would always cherish. "Well, look, I don't wanna keep talking about that jerk any longer, so let's just enjoy the rest of this vacation and everyone else can go screw themselves."

Stacie snickered and wrapped an arm around Chloe's shoulders, pulling her into a side hug. "That's my girl. Screw everybody else! Let's go have fun."

"So… What are you going to do?"

Beca furrowed her brow at Jesse. She had just spent the last few minutes catching Jesse up on her most recent mistakes and was confused by his question.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well, about Chloe," Jesse clarified. "What are you going to do to get her back? Do you need my help?" He smiled genuinely, but with the funk Beca was still sulking in, she couldn't help but frown at his affable offer.

"Are you nuts? After everything I just told you, what in your tiny mind makes you think Chloe would evertake me back?" Beca squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. "I mean, we weren't even really together, so I wouldn't–" Images of Chloe flashed in Beca's mind then. Her eyes, her smile, how soft her skin felt against Beca… the look on her face after she threw the turtle necklace.

Beca had to quickly blink a few times to hold back the tears she so badly wanted to release and she sighed.

"She hates me now, Jesse," she said, in defeat. "I mean I know I said we hated each other before but I–" Her brow furrowed deeply. "I really fucked up this time and… I don't think there's any coming back from it."

Beca was completely gutted when she officially settled with the idea that there was no going back. She had made her choice. Made the decision to push Chloe so far away from her that there would never be any semblance of even an acquaintanceship between them ever again.

Beca made her bed. Now she had to lie in it… alone.

Her emotions began to bubble again, the more she thought about it, so she inhaled deeply and looked Jesse in the eyes.

"So, look I know you're trying to help and all, but honestly I would really appreciate it if you just left me alone so I can sulk in my shit in peace." Her words were harsh but spoken in a broken tone.

Jesse could tell she was in pain. He could feel.

So he sighed with a tight smile and slowly stood up from his seat. But just before he left, Jesse gently placed a hand on Beca's shoulder.

"I know this might not mean much coming from a guy you just met, but… I'm pretty observant and believe me when I say I can tell that Chloe cares about you as much as you pretend not to care about her. Things might seem like they're impossible to fix right now, but please, Beca, I urge you… don't give up on her."

Beca had remained staring at her hands as Jesse spoke to her, but his last request made her eyes widen and her brow furrow. She could feel him stepping away and turned in her chair to face him as he left.

"You can fix it, Beca," he said, smiling, continuing to step backwards. "And if you need some help, you know where to find me." With those final words, Jesse disappeared into the crowd and Beca was left to ponder.

Could she really fix things with Chloe? Even after all the harsh things she said, was there really at least the smallest glimmer of hope? Beca wasn't sure.

She sat in silence with her reeling thoughts, wondering if there was any veracity to Jesse's claims.

The hot sun sat high in the sky as the Bellas explored the island of . It had already been a few hours since they left the cruise ship, but for Chloe it felt like an eternity.

She was trying her absolute best to focus her mind on the fun she was supposed to be having with her Bella sisters, but despite her best efforts, Chloe couldn't stop thinking about Beca.

Selfish, stupid, disastrous Beca.

It was a strange state of being Chloe felt like she was floating in. Like a Twilight Zone of negating emotions swirling together in a structureless dance. She wanted to hate Beca. She wanted to hate her for every bitter word and action Beca ever shot at her.

But despite Chloe's best efforts, a small flame of affection still burned brightly inside her heart.

Damn her.

If Chloe didn't get her shit together she knew Beca Mitchell could very well be the end of her.

But that was a luxury Chloe refused to give her.

It wasn't going to be easy and there was know way of knowing how long it was going to take, but Chloe knew she was going to have to fight. Fight against herself, her emotions, her desires, and whatever else it took to get Beca Mitchell out of her heart and mind for good.

She had to. Whether she wanted to or not.

After her conversation with Jesse, Beca returned to her room, collapsed onto the bed face first and didn't get up again until she felt the urge to pee.

Sure, perhaps laying wrapped up in the bed sheets with the lights off was a bit dramatic, but Beca didn't care. All she wanted to do was wallow in her sorrows.

Alone.

*knock, knock, knock*

Fuck.

Beca slowly poked her head out from under the covers and focused her gaze on the front door. Who could be knocking? Was it Jesse? Was it Chloe?!

Oh, God. Beca hoped it wasn't. She wasn't ready to face her just yet. Though being honest, Beca wasn't sure if she ever would be able to face her, ever.

*knock, knock, knock, knock*

"Beca, I know you're in there." It was Fat Amy. "Open up, it's me."

Beca groaned. She wasn't exactly in the mood for any kind of company, but she knew if she didn't open the door, Amy would just keep knocking away until she did.

"I'm not going anywhere until you open up."

Yup. Beca knew it.

With a deep sigh, Beca languidly slid herself off of the bed and slunked her way over to the door. She plastered a tight smile on her face when she greeted her best friend.

"What's up, Ames?" She asked, tiredly.

Fat Amy's brow furrowed, "Sheesh, you look like you've been hit by a truck, then picked up and thrown into a dumpsta."

Beca's eyes narrowed at her blunt honesty and she tilted her head. "Thanks. That was oddly specific." She turned, leaving the door open, and plopped down on a dining chair. "What are you doing here, Amy?"

Any closed the store and walked over to Beca, crossing her arms in the process.

"I could ask you the same thing."

Beca was hunched over with her elbows on her knees and looked up at her friend with bloodshot eyes.

"Pretty sure you know exactly what I'm doing here."

Amy's eyebrows flicked upward as she considered it. "Well," she said, pulling the neighboring chair out so she could sit. "I know you and Chloe have slept togetha more than once on this trip."

Beca's eyes went wide, "How did you–"

"I know you two have had feelins' for each otha since the moment you met. Even with all the stupid arguin' you would normally get up to,'' Amy continued, cutting Beca off and effectively stunning her to silence. "And I know you royally fucked it all up… didn't you?"

Beca's jaw, which had been slacked from shock slowly began to close and her brow began to curve as her weary eyes glossed over with fresh tears. She dropped her head with a whimper and nodded, refusing to look up at her friend.

"Yeah," Beca sniffed. "Yeah I think... I think I really did this time."

Fat Amy's head tilted as she gazed at Beca with sympathetic eyes. She had never seen her this down before. It was uncharacteristic and it broke Amy's heart to see her best friend under such distress. She knew Beca was going to need a push in order to get out of this funk.

"So what are you gonna do about it?"

Her question halted Beca's tears and she finally looked up at her, confused.

"Wh-What do you mean?"

"Well," Fat Amy started, leaning back and folding her arms again, "obviously Chloe means somethin' to you and if what you did has got you this torn up then I think it would be smart of you to figure out a way how to fix this. I mean," she leaned forward, staring hard into Beca's soul. "Are you really just gonna let her go?"

Beca wanted to cry again. She had never in her life felt this broken and she hated it. She hated that Chloe, of all people, had this much of an impact on her. It was madness. But despite it all, Beca knew in her heart that the answer was 'no.'

She didn't want to let her go.

"Amy, I–" Beca sighed. "I don't think I can fix it this time. And even if I did it's not like we can just… be together."

Amy's brow furrowed, "And why not?"

Beca huffed in frustration, "Amy, you know why! What happened with her mom and my dad destroyed my mom. What kind of fucked up daughter would I be if I came home dating the same–"

"Alright, I'm gonna stop you right there," Fat Amy said, firmly, standing up. "Enough with that ridiculous excuse of yours. You have been hangin' on to that nonsense from the moment you found out who Chloe's mom was and are you kiddin' me? I mean you do realise how ridiculous that is, right?"

Beca quickly grew defensive and stood up to match Amy's level.

"Ridiculous? Amy, how can you say that?! I'm not being ridiculous, her mom–"

"Yes you are!" Amy grabbed Beca's arms and shook her. "I mean look at you! You're willingly indulgin' in this pity party of self destruction and for what? Because you're worried about how your mom might feel if you started dating Chloe?"

Beca's eyes were wide in a mixture of shock and fear. Amy had never scolded her like this before.

"Beca I commend you for the love you have for your motha and I get it. You're tryin' to protect her. But Beca–" She tittered and shook her head. "It's been years since all that went down. And more importantly, regardless of what your mom might think– because let's be honest you really don't know how she's goin' to feel about it– it doesn't matta'. This is your life, Beca. Not hers. And if Chloe is what you really want then…" She finally dropped her arms. "Then you shouldn't let anyone get in the way of that."

Her words were a lot to process, but it was the mental kick in the butt Beca desperately needed. All she could do was blink for a few moments as the thick fog hovering in her mind finally began to clear. Chloe had tried to convince her of this, but Beca just wasn't ready to hear it.

She hadn't hit her lowest point until it was too late.

There was still the part of Beca that worried for how her mother would take the news if Beca ever did get the chance to bring Chloe home, but Fat Amy was right. This was her life damnit and she was tired of feeling this way.

Beca could only hope that maybe it wasn't too late.

"You alright in there?"

Fat Amy's voice snapped Beca back into the moment.

"Wh-What?"

Amy chuckled, "You look like you went somewhere for a moment."

Beca huffed a short laugh and sniffled as she wiped the tip of her nose.

"No, yeah, I did," she said. "But I'm fine. I'm good." She took a deep breath and released it, suddenly feeling… lighter. "You're right Ames. I think–" Beca caught herself. "No. I know that… I love Chloe."

Holy shit. She actually said it.

Beca chuckled. "Fuck, I mean I'm so fucking in love with her it's stupid. And the craziest part is that I think I always was."

Amy half-shrugged. "Yeah, I've always had that feelin'," she said. "Especially whenever you would bite her head off over the silliest things. I could see it in your eyes." She smirked, "They betray you."

Beca couldn't believe what Amy was admitting to her.

"But how did– How could you tell?"

"Beca," Amy tittered. "I'm your best friend. I know you better than anyone else." She startled Beca by suddenly booping her on the nose. "I even know you better than you know yourself apparently."

Beca had to laugh at that.

"Yeah, I guess so." Her smile slowly fell into a frown because despite her freeing revolation, Beca had still really screwed things up with Chloe. And although she wasn't sure how she was going to do it, Beca wanted to at least try to fix things with her. She had to.

"So… what should I do?" she asked, Amy.

Fat Amy sighed and placed a hand on her shoulder, "I think you're gonna have to figure that one out on your own. Whateva you choose to do, it's gotta be from you and only you."

Fuck. Why did Amy have to be so wise and noble all of a sudden? Like, what the hell?

"Really?" Beca said. "After all that you're just gonna leave me hanging? You're not even gonna help?"

"Well, I didn't say that," Amy said, dropping her hand and turning to walk over to the front door. "I'll help you with whateva idea you come up with if you need it, but that idea has to come from you, not me."

Damnit. She was right.

"Goodluck!" was Amy's final parting words before she opened the door and left Beca alone with her thoughts.

It took a while, Beca wasn't sure how long, but after juggling a handful of feeble ideas, Beca found herself stuck.

She laid on the bed with her legs hanging over the front edge and pulled out her phone in an attempt to give herself a break. Her random clicking of apps got her inside of her photo album and Beca instantly felt a sudden wave of warmth wash over her entire body the moment her eyes landed on one of the pictures she and Chloe had taken in front of the Puerto Rican flag door.

It must have been the first picture that was taken, because Beca noticed she wasn't looking at the camera. No. Her gaze was focused on Chloe and when Beca zoomed in and really looked at herself she realized Amy was right.

Her eyes really did betray her.

She could see a special gleam present in them. A gleam that only Chloe herself could bring out in Beca. Beca knew that whatever she was going to do to make things up with Chloe had to be special.

It had to be different. Something she wouldn't expect or see coming.

Beca sat up and huffed a sigh as looked around the room.

And that's when she saw it.

"That's it!"

The perfect idea instantly sprung into her mind and she jumped up from the bed.

"Shit, but I can't do this alone." Beca quickly dialed a number into her phone and desperately waited for the person to answer. "Come on… please pick up the phone."

"Beca?"

Yes!

"Hey! Look I'm sorry for calling you so late and I know you might not be very happy with me right now, but I really need your help with something. Can you please meet me at my room?"

There was silence for what felt like an eternity and Beca could feel her chest tightening.

"...Please?"

There was a sigh.

"I'll be there in five minutes."

Author's 2nd Note: Hmm... Who do you think she called?

Don't worry guys! I will always come back to update this fic until it's finished. Please forgive me for the long absences., but hang in there! I will return! :D

Thank you all, again!

Stay tuned!