(Season 2 Premiere) Episode 13: A Rickle In Time
Time has been frozen for what would have been six months, give or take a few weeks. Nothing moved, not a pedestrian walking across the road, not a bird flying in (or falling from) the sky, not even a single snowflake fell out of place. The only ones who were moving were Rick and the teenagers that were with him when he froze time. They did not age, and spent their time roaming Seattle in its eternal sunrise. Due to all their friends being frozen, they couldn't interact with them, and the family went around, going about their various activities that they had with their new setting.
For Marisa, she tended to set a few pranks here and there, occasionally pickpocketing from any pedestrians, much to the displeasure of a few members of the group, but they let her do it since time was frozen. Summer couldn't text her friends, even if time was moving normally, so she decided to interact with her cousins some. Morty spent this time playing around and learning about any differences the world he now inhabits has in comparison to the world that previously got Cronenberged, mostly from Reimu and Marisa, with an occasional response from Summer. As for Reimu, along talking towards her family about the world, she did have some of her own time, mostly painting or drawing pictures on a canvas. As the group mingled, they began to get carried away with their literally free time.
As the five spent their time having fun, a figure walked into the city, a woman who appered to be in her early twenties, and dressed in a way a typical maid would, except where normal maids wore black, she wore a midnight blue color. She has short, grey hair that went down to her shoulders, with sidelocks that were done in braids. Alluring sapphires for eyes scowered the area as the woman entered Seattle with an irritated look on her face. As she walked, she noticed something peculiar about the position he was in. His pants were pulled right down along with his underwear, revealing nether regions that the woman would rather not see, as well as a tripwire stationed right in front of him and a pie that looked like it would fly into his face.
She realized that judging by what happened, the reason that time was frozen was not because of something, but someone. The grey-haired lass scowled at this before speaking, mostly towards herself. "Urgh, it would appear that someone has been using time's sudden stopping to pull pranks on people! Or rather, that someone must've been the one responsible for freezing everyone and everything around me. And for something as petty as this? Figures." the maid said. She decided to advance further in towards the city to find the one responsible for this, finding that further prankage happened dead ahead. Water balloons were stationed over another person, several had their pants down, and several other pranks were littered about. One person was even encased within a snowman, which made her silently laugh at the irony under her stern expression.
"By Amaterasu, this whole place is littered with pranks." the maid stated, looking around. She began to notice footprints in the snow, footprints that didn't belong to anyone in the area and let out a silent chuckle. "There you are... all this length of searching for answers will be paid in due time." She proceeded to follow the trail that the footprints made, ready to get some answers out of the ones who were responsible for the universe being frozen in its tracks. She followed the footprints into what looked like a quaint little suburb at the other side of the city, seeing a few snowforts that didn't have any frozen children behind them, and more of those footprints. Whoever froze time was clearly not alone in their crime, and she knew that she could be in serious danger. She didn't want to come face to face with... them... again, she shuddered at the thought. Without a barrier, she had frequent visits to those grotesque beings, and she could be arrested for something she didn't commit this time.
The maid looked to see that the footprints came in and out of several houses, but noticed one where they came about the most. Two people, a man and a woman, were frozen in an apparently angered fit as they went towards the direction of that house (presumably theirs) with their car packed out front. She could spot carved-up pumpkins placed on their heads. 'Game, set, match. You finally found 'em, Sakuya. Now, to deal with the problem and get some answers out of them.' the maid thought, heading straight towards the front door of the house. As she did so, she reached a hand into her dress, pulling out a gleaming silver knife and twirling it in her hand.
Upon opening the door, she noticed an old man with a labcoat and spiky blue hair walk around. "YOU!" Sakuya shouted, throwing the knife straight at the man's shoulder.
"What the- OH FUCK NO!" The man's questioning thoughts turned into a scream of pain as he fell on his knees, holding his shoulder to keep any more blood from falling from the freshly-carved wound on his shoulder. Soon enough, a few teenagers, a group consisting of one boy and three girls, immediately rushed towards the enterance to see what happened to the old man.
"What the hell? I thought the five of us were the only ones frozen in time!" the redheaded teen stated.
"After all that, I finally found you." Sakuya stated in perfect English.
"What? Did we tee you up or some-*urp* something? I have... so many questions." the elder lamented.
"All you need to know is that my name is Sakuya Izayoi, and due to you freezing time, it's safe to say that you should unfreeze it. NOW!" Sakuya stated, holding multiple knives with both hands. Her cold gaze was locked with Rick as the old man and his teenage companions looked on at the mysterious woman that came crashing their party.
By now, the quintet realized that they had gotten carried away with frozen time, and they were busy making sure to clean Beth and Jerry before they would finally unfreeze time, the addition of a mysterious and visibly irritated maid who somehow withstood Rick's time stop remote. Sakuya stood guard, watching them as they finished cleaning whatever crumbs were left from Jerry. She barely knew them, and she was certain she could not trust them enough to be left alone. She watched as the redhead bossed the brunette boy around upon cleaning the man who was supposed to be the two's father. "Hurry up Morty, Grampa's about to unfreeze time. You know you really should be cleaning from top to bottom." the redhead, Summer, demanded.
"I know how to vacuum Mom and Dad, Summer, I've been doing it for six months!" the brunette, Morty, replied. He then paused. "Okay, I've only been doing it when that weird maid showed up and ambushed Rick."
The raven-haired girl, Reimu couldn't help but sigh. "Jeez, we shouldn't have gotten carried away with frozen time. That maid did have a point."
"I guess so, but I don't want to get the literal point from any of her knives." Morty replied.
The blonde, Marisa, said nothing, but gave Sakuya the stink eye. On the outside, she was mad that she came about in such a manner that it got someone injured, but she knew that she had to admit defeat, especially considering that the woman dressed as a maid did have a point in unfreezing time. She looked at Jerry's shirtless body and inspected it carefully. "Alright, that should be good enough, now let's put his shirt and jacket back on get Rick to unfreeze time."
"Totally." Morty replied. He proceeded to put Jerry's signature green shirt on, followed by his winter jacket.
"Alright, that should be about it." Reimu stated. "Geez, we should remind ourselves not to get carried away with frozen time."
"A-*urp*-greed." Rick added. "Look, the point of stopping time was to stop giving a fuck, yet apparently, there are those who would probably give a fuck when it comes to those who meddle with time." At this point, everyone went inside as Rick glared at Sakuya. "Y-*urp*-yes, I'm talking about you. What are you, a time cop or something? It doesn't matter right now, clearly neither of them saw you, and they would probably get a fishy feeling."
"Well, they did see me when I rammed into Reimu." Marisa stated in embarassment. "Sorry I immediately flew right towards you."
"Apology accepted, again." Reimu replied.
"Alright, enough lovey-dovey stuff." Rick stated. He looked straight towards Sakuya. "And you, you better find some role to fill up or hide. I'm still a little angry at you for stabbing me with a throwing knife, so just leave us alone from now on, will you!?" At this point, Sakuya rolled her eyes and looked at a nearby closet. She proceeded to walk towards it and hide, rubbing her temples as she did so. "Welp, should've done it sooner, huh? Well, hopefully, we don't get into any more trouble after this."
"Yup, we all get it now, ze. Although I am a bit mad at her for doing this, I should've seen it coming." Marisa stated. "Alright, let's freeze time now."
"Before we do, you should probably know a thing or two about this time business." Sakuya warned, momentarily walking outside the closet. "You five have been roaming in frozen time for what would have been six months. Speaking from experience, freezing it for so long will give off dire consequences unless you stay still. You might not trust me for saying that, but it is your best option."
"You think I *urp* don't know that!?" Rick stated, shooting a glare at the maid. He sighed and looked towards the teens. "Look, I hate to break it to you, but the woman who stabbed me in the shoulder is right. We froze time for a pretty long time, so when I unfreeze it, the world's time is gonna be fine, but our time's gonna need a little time to, you know, stabilize."
"Our time is gonna be unstable? What does that even mean?" Morty asked.
"Whatever it is, I don't like the sound of it." Reimu mentioned.
"Just stay in one place and be sure not to get excited." Sakyua stated. "All of us could die because of one of you, including me, and I do not want that to happen."
"It also means don't touch your parents or get all hyper or we could shatter into countless theoretical shards." Rick added.
"Wait, what!?" Morty asked.
Sakuya, by now, has returned to the closet, ultimately deciding not to get into the business of the two frozen parents outside. "And away we go!" With the press of one of the buttons on Rick's time-stopping remote, time resumed back to its normal state. Birds resumed their flights, the snow started falling back down with the chills outside giving off their freezing effects, and dozens of people were pied, snowmaned, tripped, and pantsed in all sorts of ways outside in many different ways.
Soon enough, an angered Jerry and Beth burst through the door. "-A THING OR TWO ABOUT-" Soon enough, the duo noticed that everything, once messy, was no suddenly clean and well-cared for, much to their surprise. "Wait, what? Was the house...? When we pulled up I could have sworn the house was completely trashed."
"Your mind must've been playing tricks on you, Jerry." Reimu lied. "We were pretty well behaved."
"I have to agree with Reimu there. It explains a lot about where you're at." Rick stated. He looked towards Beth and waved his hand. "Hi, sweety."
"Hi, dad." Beth greeted back. As she went to hug her children and niece, they went back a few feet.
"Sorry, we're not in the hugging mood now." Reimu lied. "Maybe in a little while."
At this point, Rick decided to intervene, guesturing for the four teenagers to go behind him as he looked towards Beth and Jerry. As he rolled up some cash and bound it by a rubber band, he spoke in order to distract the two in case things went south for him, Morty, and the girls. "Yeah it would literally destroy them. Now listen, why do—why do—why—why don't you guys go get a free cup of coffee or two, go out there and get some hot chocolate. Here's five hundred dollars cash in unmarked moneys." He just lay it on the floor and kicked it straight towards the two. "I'm just gonna put it on the floor and uh, kick it on over to ya. You guys go nuts."
"This better not be a bribe. If I find a single thing out of place in this house, my love of ice cream won't save you." The two proceeded to go outside, letting the cold air enter the door, but before they left, he noticed Marisa and spoke. "Wait a minute, you're that blonde girl who tackled Reimu, what's your deal?"
Everyone gasped, except for Marisa, who ultimately decided to speak her mind. "Well, you see, Reimu and I go a long ways back, ze. We'll... if it's okay with you, we'll catch up on the details later, ze."
A short pause came about through the room, and Jerry soon spoke. "Fine, we'll be catching up with details after Beth and I continue our romantic getaway, preferably without any Titanic-themed, well, themes." And with that, he and Beth closed the door behind themselves, much to everyone's relief.
At this point, Sakuya came out the door and spoke. "Well, that honestly went better than I expected."
"At this point, there's one question left unsolved. Where exactly do you live?" Reimu asked.
"What? You're asking me where I live? As if I would tell someone... like... you..." At first, Sakuya did not want to tell them the location of her home, but realized how far she has walked to get to Seattle. "Oh my gods, how can I get back now?"
"Well, for starters, ya might not wanna do anythin' rambuncious, ze. You told us so." Marisa stated. She proceeded to plop down on the couch. "How about we watch some interdimensional cable as we call it a day."
"Well, I can agree with you on that one. But don't touch the cable box. Crystallized zanthonite also has temporal properties to it." Rick stated.
As they were talking, a befuddled Sakuya lamented her situation. 'Curses! How did I not realize this sooner!? Not only did I leave the mansion to track down the buffoons responsible for freezing time, but now I'll have to rely on them to get back! I hadn't been this embarrassed for decades! Hell, I can't even stop time like I used to! Geez, this is so humiliating!' She looked towards the group and sighed in a somber tome. 'Keep it together, Sakuya. You've been through tougher situations than this, and surely, you'll be back home in one piece. First, I'll have to deal with-'
Sakuya's further thoughts were interrupted when she heard a scuffle between Morty and Summer. Her stern expression quickly turned into one of worry and fear when she noticed that the two were fighting over something. Rushing towards the kitchen, she saw that the two were arguing. "Don't get worked up! You're putting your lives in danger!"
"Why should I listen to you? Clearly, it was your job clearing all the pranks from the surrounding area, Morty!" Summer stated, clearly not listening to Sakuya.
"S-Summer, I think you should stop getting worked up. Th-th-this is not how to carry things out." the awkward teen replied. His eyes were having trouble between focusing on his sister or the maid who walked in.
"Shut up, you vindictive little turd!" Much to Sakuya's horror, she saw a ghostly form of Summer shove Morty, creating another duplicate. Sure, the originals were fine, but that was from the normal perspective.
'Oh gods, not again...' Sakuya thought.
"Hey! Don't shove me!" the ghostly Morty yelled.
"That wasn't me!" Summer replied.
Soon enough, Rick, Reimu, and Marisa came in with shocked looks on their faces as the argument continued. "That wasn't you what?" Morty asked.
"What's your problem?" the ghostly Summer asked.
"Stop it, you two!" Sakuya yelled.
"No!" Summer and the alternate Morty yelled. Soon, all four began to brawl, leaving Reimu to sigh.
"This is not my day-daydaydaydaydaydaydaydaydaydayday..." Soon enough, time began to split into two separate timelines, leaving two confused counterparts towards each of them, sans Sakuya, who was now getting angry at the two and somehow existing in both alternate timelines.
"DO YOU TWO HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU JUST DID!" Sakuya yelled.
"What do you mean?/What could we do?" Summer asked. Both of her temporal duplicates realized what they were saying. "What did I just say?"
"Well, this is strange./I'm getting scared." Reimu replied. "Why did you two have to do this."
"Were either of you guys uncertain about anything just now?" Rick asked.
"Oh man, I don't feel so good..." Morty's temporal duplicates stated.
"Well tough luck, considering you just split yourselves and your family into temporal duplicates." Sakuya replied, rolling her eyes at the two.
"Wait a minute, you seem in synch./what's with you?" Morty stated.
Sakuya sighed. "I have been in this kind of mess several times before. Do you know how many I've been through? Dozens! It takes a lot of willpower, and honestly, a lot of grueling experience to remain as one in a state like this."
"So what, you're a time cop or what?/You're a time cop? You're gonna arrest us!?" Summer asked.
Sakuya thought about the time cops, and needless to say, she didn't like them. "In a sense, no. I am, however, wanting you clowns to fix this before it gets broken. May I mind you that we're currently trapped between two hypothetical realities due to your foolishness?"
"Uh, yeah. It was pretty foolish./I feel really sorry for that." Morty lamented.
"In hindsight, we should've listened./Why didn't we do it sooner!?" Summer thought out loud.
"You know, she's right, and that's not all." One Rick merely sighed, while the other one let out an aggitated groan at the whole thing. "Alright, all of you, I have to check on something really quick."
"Well, since we have nothing to do, why not go help him, ze?/Welp, we've got nothing to do, let's see what's happening, ze?" Marisa asked/proposed.
"I'm going with you on this one./I don't have a good feeling about this." Reimu added.
The two sets of doubles proceeded to follow their respective Ricks, and a worried Sakuya proceeded to follow them soon after. She was starting to get a bad feeling that she was about to be in an all-too familiar situation with this. Soon enough, both versions of Summer and Morty followed the maid, however, one version of each were swapping positions as they did so. Inside of Rick's garage, the scientist/scientists was/were working on something. "Aguh! Are you fucking kidding me!?"
"What's going on, Rick?" Morty asked.
"What's happening, Grandpa?" Summer asked.
"L-look at what happened!" Rick guestured to a monitor on his desk, one that had two green dots on it. Nothing else, just two dots. "Two dots? This never needs to be more than one dot. We're all now uncertain!"
"What do you mean?/What? Speak English!" Morty said, both versions confused as two what was going on.
"What? English please? What are you talking about?" Summer asked, both versions of her are just as confused as Morty.
"In layman's terms, he's saying you're currently in a split timeline." Sakuya replied, facepalming as she did so.
"Jesus, she's right about that!/Jesus, just let me explain." Rick said, facepalming as he did so. He took a deep breath, looked at the other people in the room, and began to explain their situation. "Look, like she said before, we're in a split timeline. "You two somehow created a feedback loop of uncertainty that's split our reality into two equally possible impossibilities. W-we're exactly like a man capable of sustaining a platonic friendship with an attractive female co-worker. We're entirely hypothetical."
"But aren't there infinite timelines, Grampa? You told us!" Reimu stated.
"We aren't in any timeline, look!" Rick opened the garage door, revealing that the house was floating in a large, black void with a few chunks of rock floating around it. Weirdly enough, there also seemed to be thousands, possibly an infinite amount of cats floating around in the oblivion, all of which had the exact same fur pattern, collar, all the way down to the last bit of hair.
"Are those... cats?" one of the Summers and one of the Mortys asked simultaneously.
"Why are there cats here?" one Reimu and one Marisa asked.
"Yup. Though, they weren't there the last time I was in this madhouse." Sakuya stated. She developed a worried expression. "Who would've done something like this to their own pet?"
"I assume they're Schrödinger's cat, or merely his cat. A-actually, I assume they are, or it is both are, is, and aren't, is not, just like us." Rick explained.
"Is the world gone? Where are Mom and Dad?" the other Summer and Morty said.
"'Mom and Dad'? 'Beth and Jerry'?" Rick asked quizzically. "Get your head out of your family's ass. The three of us are lost in a timeless oblivion. Your parents get to exist. They're probably living it up in some pointless grounded story about their shitty-ass marriage."
Inside of their car, Beth and Jerry were having another getaway, this time without the Titanic-themed setting. They were busy driving about in the snow-covered woods from within their car, drinking hot cocoa as they did. After taking a sip of cocoa, Jerry smiled. "Man, this hot cocoa is the best. What should we do with our remaining twenty dollars?"
"You realize they sing no matter how much you tip." Beth stated. They didn't notice that as Jerry was driving, a stag decided to prance into their way, and as the two parents were talking, Jerry unknowillingly ran over it, yet at that point, they noticed it. "Holy shit! What happened?"
"I hit a deer!" Jerry answered. "I hit a deer! W-we have to tell the cops you were driving."
"What?" Beth asked. Before she had time to ponder, she just shook her head and proceeded to check on the wounded animal, placing her ear on its side to make sure that her husband didn't kill it when he ran it over. She heard a hearbeat and happily sighed. "It's still alive."
"Well, do we... uh, get a big rock? Or-" What Jerry had to say was interrupted by his wife.
"It's not an armadillo, asshole!" Beth yelled.
"I thought that's what a man's supposed to say, it's not like I could have actually done it." a puzzled Jerry replied.
"If we were near a hospital, I could treat it, but I-I think we have to just-" Before Beth could continue, Jerry saw his chance to talk to her still.
"It's okay, this is just something that happens." Jerry said. "And even if we were in a hospital, what could we do, you're a horse surgeon, not a deer surgeon."
"So..." Beth wondered.
"Well, don't different animals-"
"Require different levels of skill to keep alive?" Beth stated, finishing Jerry's sentence. "Besides, it won't last this long in the cold."
"Oh God..." Jerry stated.
"Get the deer in the car, Jerry." Beth ordered.
"Yes, Beth." Jerry said.
Meanwhile, in the timeless oblivion, Sakuya started developing a grim look on her face as she proceeded to pace across the kitchen and think. 'Gods dammit, not only am I trapped in this forsaken oblivion YET again, but combined with my power over time severely crippled, whatever am I gonna do?' She looked towards the Rick, Reimu, Marisa, and the Smith siblings, who have been going through some alterations between their two contrasting iterations before going back together. Sakuya proceeded to look at her own hands and clenched them before taking a deep breath. 'Fortunately, I have not split like they did, and I am perfectly able to interact with both iterations at once. I might need an asprin to deal with this, science is good for some things, after all. For now, perhaps something to eat will quell these dastardly headaches.'
After her thoughts, Sakuya proceeded to walk towards the refrigerator and proceed to open it, and surprisingly found some tea being refrigerated in it. "Tea...? In here?" The maid grabbed the container and examined it. Compared to the teapot and cups she was used to holding, the container was unfamiliar, she wouldn't call it completely alien, but it was alien in the way it was being stored, the way it was contained...
"You know you shouldn't be snooping around./Hey! What are you doing in our refrigerator?"
Sakuya looked to see a version of Summer/Morty stand right next to her. "Oh. It's you two." Sakuya stated. As Summer/Morty looked at her in confusion, a tired and stressed-out Sakuya took a deep breath before speaking. "It's nothing, I'm just trying to process this, that is all. I just need something to eat or drink to curb this headache of mine."
"Wait, what do you mean by 'you two'?/Wait, what is it with 'you two'?" Summer/Morty asked.
"I can see both iterations. As for your counterparts, they're in the position where the other sibling is." Sakuya stated. "You see, this is why people like you should not freeze time for extremely long amounts, especially if you haven't had any experience at hand." 'And enough magic to help stabilize yourself.' she added internally.
"And we did it to clean our house!/We were originally cleaning our house." Summer/Morty yelled/answered.
Sakuya pinched the bridge of her nose and lamented her thoughts. Soon enough, she saw Marisa/Reimu enter the door. "Guys, come quick! Rick's about to bring us back together, ze!/Guys, let's go! Grampa's gonna restabilize our time soon!" Mairsa/Reimu noted loudly.
A shocked look developed on Sakuya's face. 'Wait? As in 'now' now? They're in different positions than they were a couple of minutes ago. I can see them, but apparently, they cannot see their counterparts, this is bad.' Several deep breaths came in and out of the maid's mouth before she opened her eyes again. Still, she saw two split timelines and found that the counterparts were in the same positions. Needless to say, she wasn't fond of them, but she knew what had to be done. "I know we got off on the wrong foot, but we would need each other's help for this to unfold. Follow my lead on where to go and then tell that scientist to bring us all back to reality. Got it?"
"Um, yes./I think it get it./Whatever./Alright, ze." Mixed reactions flooded her ears, but Sakuya hoped that she could bring it all to a close. She put the tea and kettle back in their original positions before walking towrads the garage, ready to get a word or two from that scientist.
By now, Beth and Jerry have finally made it to Saint Equis Hospital, bringing in the wounded deer from earlier. "Emergency, wounded deer coming in." Beth stated, much to the shock of a woman and her presumed daughter, who proceeded to watch as they hauled the deer deeper into the veterinary and into one of its many rooms.
Inside the room Beth and Jerry went into, a veterinarian and her nurse were checking the pulse for a snake. "Excuse me, you can't be back here." she said upon noticing Beth, Jerry, and the wounded deer.
"I'm a certified horse surgeon, and this deer needs medical attention. Nurse, please move that snake." Beth ordered. The nurse was about to remove the snake, but his superior put her hand over him before he could remove it and spoke to Beth.
"That's my nurse," the veterinarian stated. "...And as a horse surgeon, I'm sure that you know that deer have much smaller, much more intricate organs-"
Before she could continue, Beth interrupted her with a sly smile planted on her face. "As a vet, I'm sure you know a deer is closer to a horse than you are to a doctor," Her sly smile turned into an annoyed frown as she continued to berate the veterinarian. "...so let's save the measuring for when our dicks are out, it's time to save a life!"
"Geez..." was all the vet could say.
Without any other ideas, she and the nurse proceeded to remove the snake from the table while Beth and Jerry proceeded to put the deer in its place. It was at that moment that Beth noticed something odd about the deer. "That's odd, this deer's wounded." Beth stated.
"Uh, yeah, I was there, you don't have to rub it in." Jerry blatantly replied.
"I mean it's been shot. With a gun." Beth stated, guesturing to the wound on the deer, which was too drasticly small to have been from their car.
"My gun..." It was at that moment a man got in. He was a bearded brown burly man with piercing brown eyes and a white camo winter outfit. He was apprarently holding a shotgun on his person, presumably the same one that he attempted to kill the deer with.
"May I help you, sir?" the veterinarian annoyingly asked.
"No, but you can stop helping this deer." he said. "I shot it before these two hit it with their car and I followed them when they hauled it off. This deer belongs to me."
At this point, Beth was having none of it, and she sighed at the commotion coming up. "We don't have time for this, okay! I need anesthetic, and deer saline!" As Beth proceeded to tie her hair back and enter the changing room, the veterinarian came to confront the hunter.
"Look, I don't know what the law says about this, but I took an oath that I would let no animal come to harm. Except when sterilizing, aborting or euthenizing them and also when eating them at almost any meal." she stated.
The hunter was unimpressed, and proceeded to pull out a phone to call on it. "I'm calling my lawyer. I hope for all our sakes you're as bad a surgeon as I am a hunter."
"In your dreams, bitch!" By now, Beth was fully dressed in her surgeon's gear, and she proceeded to prepare for surgery. "Scalpel!"
In the garage, Sakuya was looking at the temporally scrambled group and held out a piece of chalk. "Alright, so I might not be experienced in chalkwriting, but I think I can play a little 'game' with you to get us out of here, 'game' meaning something easy you guys can puzzle out, and to get you close enough to become certain enough to re-merge and allow us all to re-enter reality, myself included."
"We're *urp* not children, dumbass!/ We'll *urp* get this on our own!" an annoyed Rick protested.
"Well, can either of you see your counterparts." Sakuya countered before raising the chalk. "But I can. Be warned, though. If say..." she eyed the Summer and the Morty in the same position. "Two iterations of two different people are in the same position, then reality will fail to re-merge and be forced back together and the duplicates would feel massive amounts of pain due to the failed collision. I do not want it to happen, hence why we're doing this."
"Wait, what's the deal?/How does this work?" Reimu asked.
Sakuya rolled her eyes. "Well, I'll draw a shape on the floor, and when I say your name, you walk towards that shape and stand on it, and whatever you do, do not leave the shape whatsoever. Remain certain." She let out a long, deep sigh before speaking. "Gods, I hope this works. Alright, so the orange-haired girl, Summer, wasn't it?"
"Yeah./Whatever." Summer blatantly replied.
"Alright, so you are going to that corner, and I'll draw a lilttle circle here." As she said this, Sakuya proceeded to walk towards the edge where the door was and procceeded to lay the piece of chalk on it, drawing a small circle on it. "Alright, now, you step here, and as for you, Mortimer, was it?"
"Yeah, but people just call me Morty." Morty stated.
"Just follow my lead, and step onto this square over here." Sakuya ordered as she proceeded to draw a small square near the corner of the garage door.
Unfortunately, she did not notice that one of the Ricks wasn't tinkering on a remote that would re-merge time. He took occasional angry looks at Sakuya as he proceeded to tinker with the crystallized zanthonite he had in his hands, making a device and attatching it towards a pistol. 'Stupid time maid, thinking she could ruin all our fun and boss us around, huh? If I'm a guessing guy, I bet she's working for the time police.'
"And then, there's you two-" Before she could direct Reimu or Marisa to their positions, the Rick crafting the pistol pulled out his weapon and proceeded to shoot it, shocking the maid as she saw two bullets in the same position flying directly towards her. With a reaction of shock, she dodged it. "Gah! What did you do!"
Soon enough, the other Rick noticed something was wrong. "Oh my God?"
"What?" Everyone in that Rick's iteration, sans Sakuya, asked.
"That son of a bitch is onto something!" the second Rick stated, dismantling his re-merger device in favor for a similar pistol to his counterpart. "I should've seen this coming. Of course, one version of me is holding a grudge against this Sakuya character, and once she is dead, he'll come after us next!"
"Stop that! Don't you realize what you're doing!?" Sakuya begged.
"Sorry, time bitch, but you made the mistake of messing with the Smith family." the first Rick stated with a smug grin on his face before he noticed a bullet fly out of nowhere and miss his unibrow by inches. "Aw fuck! My other self's trying to kill me!"
"What!?" Everyone in the first iteration, sans Sakuya, asked.
"Follicle unfeeling sociopath. Don't you get it? He thinks he can save his own skin by using the crystal to kill me." both Ricks stated, swapping from position to position while trying to kill themselves and Sakuya. "Of course, with the maid in the way, that other Rick thinks it's a good job of trying to kill her, and once he's done with her, we're gonna be next on the line!/That time bitch thinks it's sooo good to boss me around, but I must've caught the attention of my counterpart! Just my luck that he thinks that saving his skin would mean our demise."
"Just stop it, you two!" Sakuya pleaded. "Don't you know what you're doing!?"
"Rick what the hell are you doing?" a desparate pair of Mortys asked.
"Grampa, please stop!" Reimu begged.
"I'm saving our lives. After he takes the maid out and ices me, he's gonna be coming for you four!" Rick stated, his counterparts once more changing positions, forcing their versions of their grandkids and Marisa to change in accord, much towards the shock and fear of a desparate Sakuya that was losing hope in the situation.
"Who?" Reimu/Marisa asked.
"Me!" Both Ricks stated. The first Rick shot a bullet, only for the second Rick to dodge it before speaking on his own. "I told you he's a psycho!"
"He's lost it. The time fracture must have made him crazy!" the first Rick said.
"I don't know what to do! I don't know what to do!" the second Rick panicked.
"You shouldn't have tried to kill me there! I could've helped you out of this!" Sakuya stated.
"Are you serious!?/Oh fucking NO!" Rick yelled towards the hopeless maid.
At that point, reality started to fracture once more, splitting from two realities to four. All four Ricks developed shocked looks on their faces as they noticed that his machine beeped and displayed four green dots on the black screen. "Oh God, now there's three of them, we're outnumbered! Get in the cupboards!" Rick herded the four into the cupboards before starting to change his mind. "Wait, don't don't do that, they'll know... wait wait, think about getting in the cupboards but don't really." At this point, a four Ricks became more and more paranoid due to the time fracture and screamed at the top of their lungs. "AAAAH! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT YOU SICK FUCKS? YOU WANNA SEE CHILDREN DIE?"
"Threatening your children already." At this point, Sakuya was starting to sob.
"Oh, it's you, almost forgot about you." At this point, all four Ricks went straight towards the maid with psychotic grins on their faces. "You thought you could take us out and control us, huh? Who are you, the time police in a false disguise!? Are you God!? Are-" At this point, Morty had enough, grabbed a fire extinguisher, and proceeded to knock his grandfather out cold.
"Holy shit, now what?" all four Summers asked.
Sakuya, by now, was starting to take several deep breaths and calmed down before looking towards the knocked out Rick. "Dear gods, you knocked him out..."
"I had to do it, sorry for him, though." Morty stated.
"Well, that's that, but what are we gonna do now that he's knocked out." Reimu asked.
"So, how are ya able to act in synch, as you claim, anyhow?" Marisa asked.
At this point, Sakuya got up and spoke. "I had a lot of experience with time. That is all I am willing to say." she said in a dedpan manner. She looked at the duplicates, all four of each of them were now in near-perfect synch. "It's just best for the four of you to remain certain in your actions. For now, we need to keep your ravenous grandfather in check so he doesn't cause any more fractures." 'I can feel it, I can feel different decisions threatening to tear me apart. Fortunately, other thoughts and concerns are capable of drowning it out, and I still have magic at my disposal. I have to figure something out.'
At the horse hospital, the hunter, by now, had his lawyer in the veterinary. The lawyer in question is a middle-aged man of north European descent with greying hair, glasses, and a suit that lawyers and other professional-looking people wear. Despite the hunter having called his lawyer over to the veterinary, Beth was not satisfied the slightest as she continued her surgery on the deer, focusing on it more than the lawyer himself. "You son of a bitch, you don't stop living until I SAY SO!"
"Micheal." the layer stated.
"Who's that now?" the veterinarian asked.
"My lawyer." the hunter stated.
"I'm here to notify you ma'am, that in this county, any deer shot by a hunter is that hunter's property, regardless of how far it runs, or who intercepts it before it dies." Micheal explained. "It's called Brad's law. We can't make you stop the surgery, but at this point you're performing it on venison."
At this point, the hunter decided to change his mind after seeing what was happening with the deer. "Actually, I've decided not to eat it. All this fear and conflict. I'm sure it's ruined the meat. I'm just gonna use the head for my rec room wall."
"She normally works on horses." Jerry said.
"Jerry, if you're not gonna help, get the fuck out of here!" Beth angrily said before looking straight at the deer. "I will reach into heaven and yank your screaming deer soul back!"
"Jesus..." was all the veterinarian could say.
"Oh, God... my head..." All four Ricks started to wake up once more. They tried to get up, only to realize that they were inside cages. Rick looked to see Morty, Summer, Reimu, Marisa, and Sakuya looking at him, the later three were glaring, especially Sakuya, who looked like she was trying to burn a hole through his skull. "What did you guys do!?"
"Well, you were the one who split the timeline, AGAIN, but on your own self-induced paranoia." Sakuya stated.
"Yeah, what was that all about!?/Yeah, you could've killed us, Grampa!" Reimu informed.
"I agree, why the flyin' bullets poppin' up everywhere?" Marisa asked.
"You tried to kill me, then you tried to kill yourself and your family. At this point, it's best we keep you contained, both literally and figuratively." an annoyed and somewhat overwhelmed Sakuya stated, looking at the four sets of duplicates, who have once more shifted positions. She sighed. "Looks like it's back to square one again."
"We'll, you were the one bossing me... us... around..." Rick argued. "Guys, I don't expect you to understand this, but time breaking twice means our problem is two times bigger and we've got half as much time to solve it. Well actually, I do expect you to understand that, it's basic math." He looked around, still realizing that he was in a cage. "C-could someone just let me out of here? If I die in a cage I lose a bet."
"Forget whatever bets you made!" Sakuya said, pointing towards Rick. "Personally, I think you're trying to lie your way out, so prove to me once and for all that you have no ill intention and will not act upon said intention, kapiche?"
"Ah, for God's sake, alright here, give me the time crystal." Rick ordered. Morty/Summer/Reimu/Marisa proceeded to grab the time crystal from the pistol and reluctantly give it to the scientist, who proceeded to attach it to his phone, causing Sakuya to raise an eyebrow in suspicion.
"What are you... doing?" the maid asked in confusion.
"Calling *urp*, calling myself. Here, listen, *urp* it'll probably go to voice mail since, you know, I'm calling myself." Rick answered. At this point, Sakuya could only facepalm and let out an annoyed groan as she saw the Ricks attach the crystal to their phones and dial on it to call their counterparts. Soon enough, it was answered by the voice message.
"Hello, Rick here."
"Don't fall for it, it's a bit.?" all Ricks stated.
"Just kidding, haha! You just got Ricked. You've reached Rick's voicemail, you know what to do."
When the phone entered its voice message, all four Ricks spoke into it. "Hey Rick, it's Rick. Listen, I'm sorry about earlier. No hard feelings. I know you know I mean it too. Take it easy." As soon as Rick posted the message, he noticed three other messages on his phone. "Whoa. Damn, look at this, I'm blown up. Three new voicemails." Soon, he played one of the voicemails, seeing that it was the same thing. "Yeah yeah, I heard this one." After hearing it two more times, Rick turned off the phone. "You get the *urp* idea, we're cool now."
"Could you please stop stalling time here!" Sakuya shouted. "I swear, it's like raising hyperactive toddlers with you around."
"Yeah, but we're still not gonna allow you out of this crate." Summer added.
"Fine, I'll *urp* do it myself." Rick stated. He idly kicked the cage, and it fell apart as he got up. "You really think a simple little doggy cage would keep the *urp* smartest man in the universe contained?"
Sakuya couldn't help but facepalm. "Enough games, you crazy coot. Just re-merge time and we'll be fine. Now will you be CERTAIN that you'll follow my lead?" She reached into her dress, displaying several knives under it. "Believe me, I'm too tired for a fight, I just want to go back to the place I work at after all this is over. However, that does not mean that I am willing to fight, and believe me, I have centuries of experience at my hands. And may I remind you, I can still see and hear all four iterations."
All four Ricks looked at her as she grew more and more serious with every word she said. He remembered when she ambushed him, and they certainly knew that those blades weren't for show. Why a maid would carry so many daggers is unknown to the scientist, but he did not want to learn why she used them. Sighing in defeat, all four Ricks looked towards the annoyed maid as her blue eyes threatened to burn a hole in his forehead. "Augh, you kidding me!?/Fine, you win at last." They proceeded to go back towards his main desk and looked at Sakuya with a glare of their own. "Fine, fine, fine, let's *urp* get this over with."
Before they could start, everyone noticed a blue bubble rapidly enter the room, catching everyone off-guard, and, in Sakuya's case, causing her to lose her balance and fall on her rear. She got up and looked angrily as the bubble dissolved, revealing the being within. "Y... You again!?"
The being in question was floating a foot off the ground, its skin resembling the flesh found inside your body with a few hairs sticking out. It didn't have legs, yet it had two arms connected to a torso covered by a tattered robe with a satchel by his side. His head was bulbous and grotesque, with nothing more than a mouth full of sharp teeth. Needless to say, everyone else had mixed reactions to the being before them.
"Gross, yet kinda cool./What is that thing?/This just keeps getting weirder." Reimu lamented.
"It's a monster!" All four Summers yelled.
"Oh my God!/It's a monster!/Oh my God, it's a monster!" Morty shouted.
"We've got more company, ze." Marisa stated.
"Quit your yelling, this is all giving me a headache!" Sakuya shouted. "We can both hear all of you, you know!"
Nearly all of them were speechless, but one of the four Ricks spoke. "Wait, we?"
"Oh, you're here, too, huh, ya fratty-ass bitch!" the monster stated, looking towards Sakuya. "Lemme guess, you fucked up and fucked with them, huh? Like last time."
"Don't you blame this on me! I was trying to get these buffoons re-merged before they get us all into serious trouble! I'm innocent on this one!" Sakuya yelled.
"I found the fuck about it. All their time has been ripped to hell!" the monster replied.
"No shit, Sherlock." all four Mortys replied.
"Alright, first shit going, the name ain't 'Sherlock', it's Shleemypants. Secondly, how the fuck did this happen!? You broke your time, twice!" Sleemypants said.
"Yeah, but we don't even know, the first time..." two of the Summers replied.
"Who's that Brother Newman time elf? two of the Mortys questionable asked.
"Shut the fuck up! Oh, damn, I'm a four-dimensional being. I can hear all o' y'all. Now let's just see what we got here for a second." As the monster floated towards one of the desks of Rick's garage, he noticed a spare crystal and some devices as he and all four of the Ricks groaned. He looked at the unfinished device thoroughly. "Ay, damn it, were you tryin' to use this to- oh, see, you broke time, and you thought you could just stick it back together with this? How you think you gonna move time while you're standin in it you dumbass three-dimensional monkey ass dummies?"
"Oh way to go, Rick." Morty chatsied.
"Yeah Grampa, way to go." Summer said.
"Oh, what you're just gonna listen to this guy now? He's got a giant testicle for a head! He came here in a bubble. For all we know he could be the David Berkowitz of Nutsack Land." all Ricks pointed out.
"And here you were the one who went to shoot me and soon, your other iterations." Sakuya pointed out as she rolled her eyes at him. "I was trying to get us out of here, and that was how you wanted to do it!?" She simply sighed at the whole predicament before speaking again. "I knew it was inevitable, but I did not want to see his face again." As she said it, Sakuya guestured to Shleemypants.
"Fuck off, bitch, and shut up!" the four-dimensional being barked. He looked towards Rick, Morty, Summer, Reimu, and Marisa before pulling out five collars. "Here, put these on. They'll sync your possibilities up so I can bring you back to certain time." He gave them towards the five, and three versions of them put them on. One version, however, was not willing to put the collars on. "Y'all just-just negligent, now ay, ay, ay, the five of you, put your collars on!"
"What are you talking about?" three of the Summers informed.
"We have them on." three of the Mortys stated.
"Uh, we did..." three of the Ricks answered.
"Yeah, what's wrong with those things?" three of the Reimus asked.
"I agree, something's off." Marisa added.
"We're not wearing collars." one of the Ricks stated.
"Exactly, because you're being obstinate." Shlemmypants stated.
"What?" three of the Ricks asked.
Sakuya sighed. "One version of you is refusing to wear the collars. Happy?" 'Gods, this is taking a lot from my mana.'
At this revelation, the remaining iteration gave in. "Alright, fine. Morty, girls, put 'em on." As soon as they put the collars on, all four versions of each of the five humans merged back into reality, bringing them back to the actual Smith Residence. Even Sakuya managed to get back to her reality, though she did not seem certain. "Yes, we're back, problem solved." Rick rejoiced.
"Yeah! There's no more void out there!" Reimu rejoiced.
"Yes, we're back to our own time." Summer cheered.
"Oh you did it, you fixed it." Morty cheered.
"Yeah, now keep those collars on so you don't break your weak ass time again." Shleemypants scolded.
"How long exactly do we have to wear these things? They're really embarrassing." Rick asked.
"Well since you're goin' to time prison, I'd say you can keep em on forever." Sleemypants stated.
"Forever!?" all four teenagers shouted in unison.
"Yeah, well I don't know where you expect me to think you got that crystal over there, but the only way you dumb ass, assin' ass asses could ever have one, is if it was stolen." Shleemypants said.
"You stole a time freezing crystal from testical monsters?" Summer asked.
"I wasn't the version of me that stole it, thank you!" Rick argued. "Besides, there's a larger lesson to be learned here. Get him!"
They attempted to charge at the monster, only for him to pull out a larva from his satchel. "Ututututut! You'd better keep back! Man this will turn your ass into a third trimester fetus from 30 yards." Soon enough, he heard knives get unseathed from their scabbards and looked to see Sakuya readying a battle stance. "Ah, so now you ready your blades again, huh, BITCH? You think I forgot about you, didn't I? When we first met back in what you humans call 'the twentieth century'. Does that ring a bell?"
"I can understand your anger against the scientist, but on four teenagers that have no knowledge about space and time, that's too far!" Sakuya stated. "I was trying to get out of this before you showed up! Besides, I'm innocent this time around, why would you want to arrest me!?"
"The law don't care 'bout nothing." Shleemypants stated. He squirted the gun, causing a bolt of electricity to come out of it, delivering a powerful electric shock to the maid, causing her to spasm before falling onto the floor, occasionally twitching as the four-dimensional being pointed his gun towards the remaining members. "Now, where was I?"
Meanwhile, at the horse hospital, Beth was still performing surgery on the deer, whose insides were exposed, had several IVs attatched to it, and a breathing mask on its snout All the while, the veterinarian was thinking about something as she watched Beth look inside the deer's body. Suddenly, she immediately shot up and shouted "Isn't there a kitten somewhere that needs a manicure!?"
"That's right Mrs. Smith, give in to your anger. Neglect that deer." Micheal said, whispering into the horse surgeon's ear as she let out a firey glare at the lawyer.
Before the conversation could go sideways, Jerry walked in. "Honey, it's gonna be okay." Soon enough, two men dressed in furry winter gear walked in. "These men are from the Cervine Institute of Elk, Moose Deer and Stag. They can take this deer to a helicopter and fly it to the country's top deer surgeon on a wildlife reserve across the state border, where your jurisdiction ends."
Soon enough, the men patched the deer up and planted it into a truck, to which everyone looked on. "I guess that's the end of that." the veterinarian said.
"There is just one more thing." Micheal stated, still wearing a smug grin on his face as if nothing has happened. "According to this state's veterinarian statute, this animal can't be transferred until the current attending physician verbally confirms their inability to provide adequate care."
Soon enough, the hunter came about in a seeming moment of triumph. "You heard the man horse doctor, you have to say you couldn't hack it."
As Beth angrily glared at the man for his ego, Jerry couldn't help but to celebrate. "We did it..."
In the midst of the testicle monster's appearance, Reimu felt as if she couldn't stop facepalming at this stupidity. Marisa, by now, had taken attempted to pickpocket the monster, only to be swatted away by the monster. Summer and Morty just stood there, while Rick angrily looked at him, keeping a laser pistol at hand in case of a fight. "Uh-huh, no motha- no, Earth, dude, I'm talking 'bout, yeah, with the dinosaurs. No, if you've get to the dolphin people, you've gone too far. Alright man, I'll talk to you later, okay."
"Urgh... where am I?" Sakuya slurred as she woke up. She noticed a similar collar stuck to her neck. "What have you done!? I'm innocent this time!"
"Yeah, yeah, tell it to the time judge. Oh wait, you bitches have no fucking trial!" Shleemypants said. "You can't believe how much trouble I had to go through with you during the age of magic, huh? Like all the shitty-faced sorcerers, huh?"
"Wait, age of magic?" Reimu asked.
"It ain't nothing you'll have to worry about, what you should shit your pants on is what happens in time prison." Sleemypants stated. "It's like any regular Earth prison, only that you have to stay there for all eternity and you won't age."
"I can understand us, but why her? What's so special about her, anyhow?" Morty asked.
"You think I wanna be an nigh-omniscient, immortal being transcending time and space my whole life?" Shleemypants said. "Well, I don't care, but this job isn't my pick. I got ambitions man, bringin' you guys in is my ticket up, especially when it comes to that BITCH over there!"
"What are you talking about? Manipulation of time was my special ability back in the day, and I didn't even know who you were!" Sakuya stated. "And stop calling me that!"
"Again, the law don't give a shit. Magic does, but that's a whole other fratty-ass discussion that you'd have in your cells." Shlemmypants said.
"What if I told you there's a huge ticket up right behind you?" Rick asked.
"You really think I'm that stupid?" Shleemypants asked.
"No, but ya should, ze." At that remark, Sleemypants looked behind to see Marisa holding a large wooden plank. With surprising force, she slammed her makeshift weapon into the testicle monster, causing him to fly into Rick's shelf of things and drop his organic gun, to which Marisa picked it up. Soon enough, it started squirming, causing her to attempt to hold it. "Gah! That thing's living, and it's just so gross, too!"
Soon enough, the organic gun slipped out of Marisa's hands and into the snow-covered street, where it was run over by a car. "Chris!" Shleemypants yelled. He looked towards Marisa with fury in his nonexistant eyes. "You killed my gun!"
"You were tryin' to arrest someone who got roped into somethin' WE did!" Marisa argued.
"In that case, everyone, take your collars off!" Rick demanded. Reimu, Summer, and Morty took their collars off, uncertain about what Rick was planning. Marisa looked in shock before taking her own collar as Rick took that of Sakuya's off.
"What are you doing!?" a panicked Shleemypants asked.
"Good question." Rick answered. "I suppose the answer is: I'm not certain!"
"Oh, no, what are you doin'?" Shleemypants asked.
Rick was about to strike, but before he could deliver the first blow, time split into two, causing the temporal doubles to punch Shleemypants in two separate positions. "I have no idea!/I'm not sure!" Rick proclaimed before delivering another punch to the time creature, causing it to split into four. "I'm really uncertain about everything, even kicking your ass!" Rick said out of synch before delivering another punch, causing time to split again into eight different timelines.
"What are you doing!?/Just stop doing that!" Sakuya begged. She gasped, realizing that she was starting to become uncertain herself. "Please, please just stop that! At this point, I can barely keep myself together due to the rapid fracturing! Don't you have any other way of solving this other than that!"
Unfortunately, Rick, who was now split into eight temporal doubles, continued his beating on the four-dimensional being, who screamed in pain at the combined assault of eight temporal doubles. "Gah! But these arms are vestigial. Now you poked me where an eye would have been about six million years ago."
"At this point, we're pretty much completely uncertain. This was a bad idea." Reimu stated.
"Come on, let's help Grampa." Summer stated, starting to get out of synch.
"Yeah. I'm like a hundred percent not sure about anything." Morty stated.
"Hey! Don't count me out!" Marisa said.
As the four teenagers joined in, time split twice, creating thirty-two timelines, which was starting to take its toll on Sakuya. "Please stop!/Can't you see what you're doing?/This is getting too out of control!/I'm getting overwhelmed by this!" Sakuya begged/cried. At this point, even she was fracturing. Several versions of her had started putting the collars back on out of panic. "Gah! Why can't I get out!/What's happening!?"
By that point, Shleemypants had been dealt one final punch, causing his head to deflate as his body slumped towards the ground. "Ow! I've been defeated!" a fatally wounded yet somehow still living Shleemypants lamented.
"You idiots! That was your plan! And why did you take my collar off, huh!?" Sakuya yelled, looking towards Marisa.
"Well, Rick said that all of us had to take our collars off." Marisa stated. "Guess I wasn't certain 'bout that, huh?" At that attempt of a joke, the 'ground' started to shake, and chunks of roofing were starting to fall apart. "Me and my big mouth, ze."
"What's happening?" Summer asked.
"Time is falling apart, we've got to get back to certainty, quick! Give me your collars!" Rick stated.
"At this point, we have thirty-two sets of these things to deal with." Reimu said.
"Yeah, but for my set, we'll *urp* only have to fix six." Rick explained. "And there's like, thirty-one versions of me trying to do the same thing, so, in total, that would probably be like, what, a hundred and ninety-two different collars to work on? Shit, this is gonna take a long time, but I'm not an idiot, now hand me that (Phillips/Flathead) screwdriver. Actually, make it a (Flathead/Phillips)." At that mention, the timelines split, creating sixty-four different timelines. "FUCK!"
Back with Beth and Jerry, the latter was once again driving the car, heading through the snowy landscape. As Beth looked out at the scenery, Jerry procceeded to confess what has happened lately. "Look, I know I was kind of a nuisance today. I know it's my fault we hit the deer, and I know you wanted to be the one to save it."
"Whatever. How petty would I have to be to care less about an animal's life than my own ego?" Beth brooded.
"Hmm... you'd have to be pretty petty." Jerry stated. Soon enough, he smiled and looked towards his wife. "But you'd still be the woman I married." Suddenly, the man turned off the road, heading into the woods, much to Beth's shock.
"Where are we going?" Beth asked.
"One last stop." a sly Jerry answered.
Soon enough, they proceeded to stop where the truck from earlier had stopped, and a confused Beth proceeded to look around. "Where's the helicopter?"
"There is no helicopter and there is no Cervine Institute." Jerry admitted, pointing to the truck. The Cervine Institue logo was pulled off by the truck's driver, revealing that the whole thing was nothing more than an ice cream truck.
"But the top deer surgeon..." Beth stated.
"I'm looking at her." Jerry said. "Thanks for F.D.'ing me up like that."
Soon enough, the truck's driver and his partner were pulling lights out onto the ground as the wounded deer was set up on the table. "You'd better get moving, these lights are designed for basic ice cream work, they're not gonna last all night." the ice cream truck driver warned.
"I only need five minutes." Beth stated. And so, with some hard work, Beth proceeded to operate on the deer, carefully prodding on its organs as Jerry winced every now and then from disgust while the deer let out some heavy breathing as Beth gazed meaningfuly at the places she needed to check out. After her work has been completed, she sewed up the hole needed for surgery, and shortly afterward, the deer proceeded to regain its strength and scamper away from its human saviors. As they watched it, Beth and Jerry, who were given some ice cream after a hard day's work, had a few choice words to say to one another. "Jerry, this was the most romantic weekend I've ever had." Beth said.
"Thanks to Cold Stone Creamery." Jerry added.
"You're welcome." the ice cream company employee said.
Soon enough, Beth had a question to ask. "Wait, why do they serve ice cream at winter?"
"Eh, beats me." Jerry answered.
By now, all the Ricks had been finishing fixing their respective timelines' collars. By now, the entire house started to shake and break apart from the pressure brought up by the constant temporal splitting. "Okay, we're out of time. It's ironic, huh?" Rick said.
Soon enough, Summer, Morty, and Marisa put on the collars, but for Rick and Reimu, in one of the timelines, they noticed something wrong with Sakuya's collar. "Damn bastard! You said that you got this collar fixed!"
"Easy there, what's the problem?" Reimu asked.
"It appears *urp* that her collar isn't latched on." Rick stated. "Fine, just, let me fix it for ya."
In most of the timelines, the remaining three realized that despite having their collars on, noticed that they weren't going back together. "Great. Now something's going on with one of my other selves./This is not what should be happening!" Sakuya stated. "If only I could remain together, I can see what's going on. Alas, even with the combination of my magic and willpower, I feel myself fracturing as we speak due to these many different timelines."
"Well, wel-*urp*-come to my world." Rick stated. "Only difference is that I'm not the one who is uncertain here!"
"We're all uncertain!" Sakuya stated. "Don't you give a damn about anything but yourself!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, what was that?" Rick retorted.
Back in the remaining timeline, Sakuya was about to hand the collar over to Rick, but noticed that the floor was starting to crack. "No, not now! This is not the way I wanted to die!" Her sentence turned into a scream as she was about to fall down, but Rick and Reimu proceeded to grab her hands and pull her up. "Wha... why are you doing this?"
"Granted, you may have given us a rude awakening, but we would've likely found ourselves with this four-dimensional flesh monster, anyhow." Reimu said. She offered Sakuya her collar with a gentle smile. "Here, you can have mine. Besides, if Grampa can fix most of the collars, then this will be a cinch! I'll hopefully get back to you."
Sakuya shed a few tears. She was about to put it on, but spoke. "Thank you..." At this moment, she happily put the collar on, allowing her to pull herself back together again.
In most of the timelines, while Rick and Sakuya were about to argue, Rick and Reimu noticed that Sakuya has disappeared. "Well, there she goes. Hopefully, we'll be next on the chopping block back home." Reimu stated.
"Well, you were spared from having to watch that." Rick stated.
Back in the remaining timeline, Reimu looked to see the broken collar and sighed as she watched Rick tend to it. She looked out to see the infinite black void ahead and sighed. She wondered how other versions of her and Rick were doing, and hoped that he would finish. "You know you could use mine, Reimu." Rick said.
Reimu remembered what she had done for Sakuya, and looked towards Rick. "Grampa? Will you be alright?" she asked.
"As soon as Grampa fixes this collar, he'll be alright, Reimu." Rick said. The two exchanged a hug before Reimu took Rick's collar and put it on her, allow her and her various temporal doubles to merge back and become certain again.
In the various timelines Rick and Reimu were busy waiting, and Reimu began to disappear, leaving Rick to be the only one remaining to be scattered. Looking around, he saw nothing but void as far as the eye can see. "Great, now it's just me. Figures." He sighed.
In the remaining timeline, Rick frantically looked around for the missing hatch. "Sweet Jesus, please let me live. Oh my God, where is it? Where is it?" As he tinkered around, he desparately looked for the part that was broken, and although he couldn't see it, he was well aware that there was not much ground left. Soon enough, he found the spot that wasn't working and pulled out a screwdriver. "Oh, my God I—I've gotta fix this thing, please God in Heaven, please, God, oh Lord, hear my prayers." As soon as he finished fixing the broken hinge, and with a grin, he fixed it in mere seconds.
With a moment of triumph, Rick looked onto the void and screamed with all his might. "Yes! Fuck you, God! Not today, bitch!" Afterwards, he immediately put the collar on, allowing him to merge with his other counterparts, who were busy praying on what little ground remained. "Please, God, if there's a Hell, please be merciful to me."
As soon as the merging was complete, Rick got up from his prayer position and looked at the machine, which displayed one green dot on the screen. "Yes I did it! There is no God! In your face. One dot, motherfuckers!"
"Yes! Yes, oh yes!" Morty cheered.
"Wow, that was a really close call, the ground was shaking and we were about to fall into the void! I can't believe how satisfied I am to see time move normally again!" Reimu happily chirped, happy that the nightmare has ended.
"Well, least ya don't have ta worry about much for the forseeable future, don't ya, Sakuya-ze." Marisa stated, looking towards Sakuya. "Um... miss... you 'lright?"
Sakuya was standing still, her eyes shifting frantically as she slowly regained her senses. "Yup, just totally fine... nothing to worry about... totally everything..." As soon as she finished her sentence, she let out a semi-crazed laugh. Everyone looked awkwardly as she proceeded to laugh hysterically and pull a knife from her dress. She was about to stab herself in the chest when Rick held out his arm, letting out a light puff of smoke.
"Sleep." Rick ordered. He watched as Sakuya fainted on the floor, lying down on her chest with her butt facing upward and a small snot bubble escaping her nostril.
"What the fuck did she do that for!?" a worried Morty asked.
"Yeah, and what of the sleeping gas?" Summer added.
"She'll need some time to recover. Whatever voodoo she had in stock had allowed her to become aware of our various temporal duplicates, but it also extended to temporal duplicates that came about when she too started fracturing from the various deviating timelines." Rick explained. "It's a bitter pill to swallow, but basically speaking, she was disoriented by the timelines. Apparently, we had sixty-four different sets of memories in the Schrodinger's void or whatever, and that time maid, apparently, her temporal awareness combined with her fracuturing is what caused her to get this way."
"Well, we still don't know where she lives," Reimu stated. "What are we gonna do, let her lie down here?"
"Let her lie wherever you want, it's our house, after all." Rick stated before drinking from his flask.
Reimu merely let out a frustrated groan as she and Marisa hoisted a knocked out Sakuya onto their shoulders. "Okay, let's... let's get her to my room, follow my lead."
"Okay..." Marisa stated. As they got the unconscious form of Sakuya Izayoi towards Reimu's room, Marisa looked towards Reimu and smiled. Of course, she knew the risks of going on adventures, and that it would mean a lot of sweaty labor, but she was taking care of herself since she was ten, so she knew what it was like. Of course, she would most likely be considered a freeloader, but she didn't care. She came too far to turn back, and she ain't turning back now, or any time in the near future.
For Reimu, she remembered sixty-four different versions of herself, and in one of them, she sacrificed a collar for Sakuya to re-enter the timestream. She seemed more disoriented than she felt, and she began thinking why that was the case. Whatever the case is, she'll have Rick bring her to her home, but for now, she needs a rest. After lying Sakuya down on Reimu's bed, Reimu herself looked on before leaving and spoke. "Don't worry, you'll be back home soon."
After leaving, Sakuya began sleeping soundly. As she slept, she quietly spoke to herself. "Mistress..."
Elsewhere in space and time, an angry Shleemypants was in a bubble, travelling through various time periods. Soon enough, he stopped at the Last Ice Age, where a wooly mammoth was frightened by his appearance along with that of another testicle monster of the same species. Shleemypants looked at the other testicle monster and spoke. "Hey man, when the hell were you?"
"Looking for you, asshole." Shleemypants's partner backtalked as his bubble joined with his partner's.
Soon enough, a prehistoric rat entered the bubble. "I told you past the dinosaurs." Shleemypants informed.
As they spoke, Sleemypants proceeded to take them both and (unknowillingly) the rat through time. "You know how much time is past the dinosaurs? Half of all time!" the other time cop stated.
"Come on, man, it's this way..." As they spoke, they momentarily went into an ocean, to which the rat jumped into at that time.
Soon enough, Shlemmypants's partner snatched the remote and began speeding up time. "Come on, give me that thing, speed it up, he can't be this far back." Among the various different flashes, his partner spotted a spiky-haired, lab-coat wearing individual in one of the flashes.
"There he is, there he is, there he is, there he is, stop, stop." Shleemypants's partner did as he told, and the time bubble dissolved. The figure, who was writing in German on the chalkboard he was working in turned around, revealing that he did resemble Rick, but not quite due to his chubbier build and thick moustache.
"So that's the guy, huh?" the other time cop asked.
"Yeah, that's him." Shleemypants said as he and his partner headed towards 'Rick'. "Hey, man, remember me?" Shleemypants asked, thinking that the man was indeed Rick Sanchez. Soon enough, he picked him up and delivered a punch. "I've got something for your ass!" Soon enough, his partner joined in on beating 'Rick' up. "You don't mess with time! You don't fuck with time, motherfucker!"
After one final punch, they presumed 'Rick' to be unconscious and left. Unfortunately for them, that wasn't Rick. They landed in 1947 Hamburg in the German Empire, and the man they beat up was none other than Albert Einstein. He grunted as he got up, angrily looking at the spot where the two testicle monsters beat him up. "I VILL mess with time!" he vowed in a German-accented English as he procceeded to write an equation on his chalkboard. "I vill mess with time..."
Well, here we are in Season 2 of this series. Now, if my aim is right on this one, I'll be able to give ya twelve episodes per pop, twelve episodes per season that is. I'm using a system similar to Itsnouse95's story 'Rick and the Loud House', where I give twelve episodes per story, tone down some episodes, though to a lesser extent than they do to their stories. In fact, I was inspired by the guy to create this story, so yeah, this was a secret I wished to talk about and admit.
As for the Autsro-Germania bit, I was a bit of an alternate history junkie, and with Rick & Morty, I decided to take that to my advantage and change the borders of Eurasia a bit, with the Kaiserreich standing strand but please note that I am not meaning to offend anybody with my choices, though I will attempt to make it match our timeline in some fashion. That also means I will probably have to update a few chapters as I am writing this, mostly to fit with the new theme going on in this new timeline of theirs, hopefully, I didn't make a mistake. Japan, however, still followed the same path it did in our timeline, but with the added bonus of a technological and cultural hub where Gensokyo is in canon Touhou.
Oh, and speaking of Touhou, you got to see another Touhou character make her debut: Ladies and gents, meet the time-bending Scarlet Devil Mansion Maid herself, Sakuya Izayoi! I thought that she would be a great choice to introduce in this chapter, since she can bend time and all, it's her signature ability in the Touhou games. Also, if she happens to be here, take a wild guess on who's likely gonna be with her. I'll see ya when the next chapter pulls out. I hope you have a happy October, so tune in next time!