New Drabble Series! I decided to be punny with the title. This is a "Ranma gets a second childhood" story.

Ranma couldn't help cursing, mostly because he should have known something was up when Akane made something that was remotely edible. Now he was stuck looking like a damn three-year-old since that idiot Kuno wrecked the only age mushrooms being grown that he could find with his wild swinging.

Everyone had decked the idiot for that one, including his sister.

So now here he was, either waiting for more of them to be found, or...and this was growing increasingly more likely...having to relive his childhood.

He was not looking forward to the second option for obvious reasons. The chief being that he knew for a fact his lazy father would make his life hell.

To that end, Ranma fervently looked to complete the first option.

He really shouldn't have left that weird magical artifact that was said to grant wishes so close to that manga...

An unknown time later...

The bed was far softer and had a different scent than he was used to. There was an energy in the air that seemed to permeate into his body, making it feel more alive and aware than he could ever remember. But the thing that drew his attention most was the gentle humming and the hand in his hair, calmly carding through it. It was beyond soothing, and the gentlest thing he could ever recall happening to him.

When he finally did wake, he couldn't really recall anything of what happened. Just his name and the fact that he was not actually a child, just trapped in the body of one due to circumstances that were never in his control.

Ranma didn't know why the nice woman who had been tending to him or the man who radiated enough energy that marked him as a true martial artist, not the half-assed ones he was stuck dealing with, felt so damn familiar. Even the names sounded like something he should know, but damn if he could remember why. There was even a kid about his physical age who looked familiar as well.

Ranma looked a tad confused, as the last thing he could really remember was falling asleep in the Tendo Dojo, idly wishing that if he had to grow up a second time that he had a family that really understood him.

His mother was delusional about 'manliness' and despite her best efforts, that seppuku pledge she had mentioned had more or less prevented him from ever truly bonding with her as a son. His father Genma was a bastard and a coward of the highest order. If he were to drop dead right now Ranma would only offer a brief prayer before getting on with his life.

Considering he never really had a childhood, and it was fast becoming clear to him that due too Genma's manipulations he would have great difficulty surviving in the real world where the majority of his skills were mostly considered useless, it was little surprise that Ranma would wish for a proper do-over...especially if it came with a clean slate.

Chichi (the woman) had a rather odd look on her face when Ranma told her what lengths his parents would go to if he were found. She did not seem pleased that this 'Genma' would deliberately force his son to train, rather than to study and catch up on what seemed to be years of school work. And that his mother would only encourage this out of some strange belief it would make him more 'desirable' to woman as a potential husband.

Chichi shot a half-glance at her own husband for a moment. Due to the fact that they lived a decent distance from the major cities, Goku was able to provide for them rather well without money. They lived off the investments that her father the Ox King made with the money he made winning the World's Strongest Tournament years ago.

However most women wanted more financial stability and very few were raised like Chichi was. They would not want to live in a very rural area off the land and would likely want more amenities that were provided in towns and large cities. Even she found it trying sometimes!

To that end, Chichi had a quiet discussion with Goku while Ranma went out exploring with their son. It hadn't escaped her notice that Ranma felt too...mature...for a three year old boy, even if his speech pattern was atrocious.

When the children came back, Chichi made sure to prepare some food. Her expression became dismayed upon learning that there were now three black holes in the home. And Ranma's manners were worse than even Goku's, if that was possible.

Once they were done, Goku went out to practice, catching Ranma's attention completely.

"Know some martial arts?" asked Goku, motioning for Ranma to join him. Gohan was busy doing his homework, as usual.

Ranma gleefully ran up to him, wearing some of Gohan's borrowed clothes.

The two stared at each other, and at an unseen signal, began to spar. It was obvious that Goku was holding back and going a bit slower to compensate for what he thought Ranma's skill level was.

Once Ranma was through with what he considered a warm-up these days, he got serious. Goku sensed the change immediately, and an odd grin came across his face.

Ranma's speed increased exponentially, and Goku had to push himself to keep up. Rather than be concerned why a child would know how to fight so well, Goku had a feral grin of delight.

"Boys! It's time for dinner!" Chichi called out.

Goku and Ranma paused in a split second before their next punch landed.

It was a good thing Goku had hunted extra today, because it was almost gone by morning.

Ranma was suspicious. Chichi was up to something, and he had the feeling it had something to do with him.

So you could imagine his shock find out that she wanted to adopt him as Gohan's older brother.

"Seriously?" said Ranma.

Goku nodded.

"From what I can tell, your birth father didn't have the first idea what he was doing when it came to training. Chichi brought it up last week, and I think it would do Gohan good to have a brother to play with."

And help act as a baseline, Goku neglected to add. Ranma clearly had an idea of how to fight, but he had limited to no ki training.

Ranma thought over what he should do...before he realized he was actually enjoying his life here. No fiances after his ass, no crazy rivals making his day harder, no having to deal with Genma's idiocy or Happosai's perversions...and more importantly, no having to deal with Akane's misplaced aggression and attempts to cook.

Sure, he would likely have to do homework and all that boring stuff, but honestly it would be nice to have a normal life for a change. Or as normal as he was likely to get.

Ranma looked at the paperwork which would officially make him "Son Ranma", rather than "Saotome Ranma". He considered all the implications of what he was doing, and then remembered all the hell he had gone through growing up because Genma wanted to continue the Saotome line of martial artists without knowing a damn thing about how to raise a child properly.

So many headaches could have been avoided, so much pain averted, if his mother hadn't married a complete idiot and allowed Genma to do as he saw fit when it came to raising their son.

Chichi, while strict, did genuinely love the somewhat clueless Goku. And Goku, while being even more naive in Ranma himself in some aspects, was a better father than Genma could have hoped to be.

Honestly, the choice wasn't even that hard to make. Genma might have raised him to where he was now, but as a teacher and as an opponent, he was pathetic. Goku might be a bit stunted socially, but when it came to martial arts his skills were second to none.

Besides, he had seen Goku actually flying once and he damn well wanted to learn how to do that too, especially considering such a large chunk of the Saotome school of Anything Goes focused on aerial attacks!

Ranma picked up the pen and signed the paperwork as best he could.

That night they held a large party to celebrate the new addition to the family. Ranma held his new gi that Goku had gotten him with no small amount of pride.

In retrospect, Ranma felt like an idiot that it took Goku unleashing his signature attack "Kamehameha" before he finally realized where he was and why everything felt so damn familiar.

And he had absolutely no problem with that. In his old life, he had been reaching a plateau when it came to training and people to fight. However he was very well aware that in the Dragonball series, the enemies only got stronger and so did the heroes. And honestly, he couldn't wait for it.

And if he remembered the timeline right (Gohan had only just turned three and the events of the sequel began when he was five), then maybe he could get Goku back into shape in time for that asshat brother of his to show up.

Ranma convinced his new Ma to let Gohan join him and Goku in their morning stretches. Tai chi was a common practice for older generations to stay mobile and in shape. Ranma cheerfully pointed out that a healthy mind resided in a healthy body and that it would do no good for Gohan to remain cooped up when any son of the world's greatest martial artist would have an abundance of energy to work out.

He considered his greatest achievement when he got Chichi to join in. Something that made Goku overjoyed since it was something the entire family could share. More importantly it gave him a chance to maybe ease Chichi into the idea that Gohan could learn martial arts after his homework was done, so long as his grades kept up.

Sure, it meant he had to relearn a few things, but after his first test came back with a solid B+ (with a note that he seriously needed to work on his handwriting, ASAP) it was worth it.

It was a relatively normal day...that is until Goku was taking the boy's out camping for some father-son bonding time.

Or whatever one would classify Ranma as. The first time the curse appeared, the family had been very surprised. However a brief explanation had calmed them down.

It wasn't harmful, just really annoying. On the plus side, Chichi finally had a daughter she could spoil...or pretend to anyway. So long as she didn't make Ranma do anything too girly, s/he was fine with dressing up for her new mom.

Anyway they went a bit deeper into the forest, and picked a good sized cave for them to sleep in just in case it rained.

Ranma was helping Gohan pick some food, since that was a relatively low-key task and it meant he could impart what little knowledge he had surviving in the wild (he learned very quickly how to tell good plants from bad). Goku was getting some firewood nearby, along with the meat. None of them were what you would call a 'picky eater' so anything he caught would be dinner later.

At this point Chichi was just happy that Gohan and Ranma had something resembling proper table manners.

Anyway as the two were out picking up some food, there was a rustle in the bushes. As usual, Ranma didn't pay it too much mind at first. If he could survive against his new dad going half-out, then he could handle the majority of animals that lived around this area.

That is, until he saw what it was.

Three seconds after registering the large sabertoothed feline, Ranma grabbed Gohan before he had any idea what was happening and bolted up high in the tree to the surprise of his new little brother.

Gohan would have asked what was wrong, but he could tell Ranma was openly shivering at the sight of the thing. So he did what was only natural.

He called out for his daddy.

Goku arrived, killed the cat easily enough, and pulled it out of sight. Only then did Ranma willingly come down.

"You two okay?" he asked with concern.

"Yeah...I really can't stand those furry things," said Ranma shivering.

"Why not?" asked Gohan. Sure it was scary, but Ranma seemed openly terrified which he found highly unusual.

Ranma winced.

"At some point my old man... I mean Genma (Chichi was rather firm he disassociate himself with that man as much as possible) found a training scroll for what seemed to be a really, really powerful technique. While it was really strong, there were also...side effects."

Goku had the boys sit down at the camp site and had Ranma explain, an unusually serious look on his face.

"What sort of side effects?"

Ranma shivered, that memory as clear as day to him, even though it had been well over ten years since it happened.

"Genma found what was called the 'Cat Fist' scroll. To acquire the skill, you had to throw someone wrapped in sausages or other food into a pit of starving cats and leave them there. After a certain point they would naturally learn the technique. Or die, whichever came first."

Gohan frowned.

"That sounds like a really stupid technique."

"Oh it gets better," said Ranma sourly. "That jerk only read the first page and never noticed there was a second partially stuck together...the other side clearly stated that only a complete IDIOT would attempt to learn this particular technique. And I was the one who found this out after he had thrown me into the pit at least ten times. After a while I just black out around cats and go berserk. From what I was told, I turn into some sort of berserker that acted like a human shaped furry devil."

"That's awful," said Goku honestly. Not even he would consider such a technique, as it sounded rather foolish.

"The worst part was that even after I found out this particular piece of information, he never ONCE apologized for doing that to me and always came up with the lamest excuses saying a martial artist had to go through hardships or some such rot," said Ranma in disgust.

Which really cemented in his young mind that Genma was the worst role model possible and no real father. But since the bastard kept taking him away from any real role models that attempted to help him, he never had any real chance to mature normally.

Ranma didn't even realize he was crying when Gohan hugged him.

"Don't worry nii-san, I'll get stronger and keep those things away from you!" said Gohan earnestly.

Chichi was very displeased learning this particular piece of information and insisted that Ranma attend proper therapy.

Goku had to wonder how he would react to Master Korin.