[That's all this Story is about]
And so, Arc 3 peacefully concluded, with a Subaru charmingly proclaiming his love to Emilia's tear-stricken face in the utopic greenery around them.
The Emilia in the screen had cried out of happiness, pure and innocent bliss at being finally loved by someone, someone who did not hate her for existing, but loved her for it.
The Emilia in the theater was in a similar state, tears rolling down her cheeks, and sobbing at the sight. But this time, she understood the true value of everything Subaru had done, and he had done it all for her. He died, again and again, just to save the people around him, to save her.
She did not know if she should be happy, or devastated. So the only thing she knew to do was to cry and sob, as that was a suitable reaction for both cases.
Her camp felt the same way. In a way, it was bittersweet. A tragic journey with a happy ending. They truly wanted for Subaru to wake up and finally tell him that everything was a-okay now, that they now understood his pain and that he is not alone in this.
Were it not for the fact that there was another Arc to go through. And potentially a few others, but they didn't know of that.
The next Arc would commence, and their happiness would break against the monstrosity that was Arc 4, either turning mad at the sight of it, or turning into sobbing children themselves.
But that's not what we're here for today! A certain O'lantern warden has the job to properly break y'all! But since he's busy with more important stuff, like surviving in the world that we call 'writing hell', I'll be the one to entertain y'all in the meantime! Or not, but what do I know~!
The voice, a little tipsy sounding, reverberated through the hall. And the identity of that tipsy voice was quite, unfamiliar.
"What?" Garfiel barked out, angry that this bittersweet atmosphere was ruined by some unknown guy.
"I-I'm sorry. But who are you?" Emilia was the first one to ask, wiping her tears away.
Yet another warden to take care of the bunch that you savages are, haha! Call me Kevin! Nice to meet ya!
"Savages. I might as well be that..." Rem muttered lowly to herself, but was shaken out of it by her sister, who looked sternly at her with admonishment.
Garfiel wanted to say something against that insult, but after all the things he's seen, and what he fears he might have done, he couldn't bring himself to argue.
"You dare-" Julius wanted to protect his lady's honor, but...
"Be quiet, Julius." Anastasia told him, shaking her head.
A moment of hesitation later, and the knight quietly sat back down.
Crusch sighed out, but didn't comment, Wilhelm and Felix following suit. As harsh as it was, she still blamed herself for abandoning Subaru in that failed loop.
"Hi, Kevin...?" Emilia tried to ignore the insult, waving at the screen with an unsure look.
Hi~~! But enough with pleasantries! Y'all just finished watching Arc 3, right? Without the cliffhanger?
"Cliffhanger?" Anastasia asked, with her knight and mercenaries looking confused as well.
Al chortled. "There was an intended cliffhanger?"
Heh, so you haven't seen it. Perfect! Forget what I said! Normally, we would continue watching Arc 4, but since your ripper warden is a lil' out of action, I'll be here for you instead!
"T-Thank you." Emilia thanked, still unsure how to interact with this new warden.
Now then! Do you guys remember the songs that played sometimes during your viewings? Those cutesy or depressing ones?
"Y-Yes... But I've never payed attention to them... since..." Emilia did not dare speak further. A few visuals that came to mind were simply too strong for her to utter.
"A lot of things happened while they played." Crusch stated diplomatically, looking at the screen with a frown.
"It was all... pretty damn emotional." Ricardo said in return, the twins nodding along.
There were the horrible instances... like when Subaru witnessed hell itself, or when he asked Julius and Felix to kill him. Heroic times, when he threw the fire magic stones into Flugel's tree, or when he jumped off the cliff with a determined expression, which still haunted Felix. Happy or foreboding times, like Rem motivating him, or promising a date with Emilia, or... Emilia forgetting him in the first Arc... Or that one instance, with him bawling on Emilia's lap.
Emilia had to smile, remembering that time. At least she was able to comfort him once, even if unknowingly.
There was a lot to unpack... and there were even those weird 'introductions', openings if you will, that had music as well.
Beatrice and Ram were still disturbed by their existence. Each for their own reasons.
Not to worry if you didn't pay attention to them! However! We'll be listening to them again! ALL OF THEM, maybe! And we'll be paying extra attention to the lyrics!
"The lyrics?" Tivey and Otto asked, at the time time even, making them look at each other in surprise.
"Oi." Garfiel nudged Otto. "That coud've been our moment."
Otto gently laughed at that. "Sorry about that, Garfiel."
Mimi nudged Tivey as well, and then flicked his forehead.
"Ouch! Why did you do that!" he whined as he touched his forehead.
"Same reason as Garfiel!" she declared, smiling proudly.
"Shouldn't I be the one flicking you? Since you didn't say anything..."
"Uh. Let's forget! Lyrics! Right, Merlin?"
Ahem! The lyrics, yes! The oh so wonderful or generic lyrics, depending on who you ask! They could either bore you out of your mind, or be something of interest to you! But they might be interesting to you in particular, since, you know, you might learn more about Subaru, or the people around you! Or not! I haven't actually looked at them, ha! I'm just here to put the CD in! ThoughwhydoIhavetouseaCDforsuchthingswehavedimensionalmagicandallthatshitwithinterdimensionallyricswriterswhocandecipherthedeeppsycheofbeingswitheasesowhythefuckdoweuseCDsshitdoesntmakeanysensewhatsoever
Not questioning what a 'Cee-dee' and that word-vomit was, Petra jumped at the thought of being able to learn more about Subaru.
"We'll learn more about Subaru?" she asked as she jumped on top of Frederica's lap.
"Petra. That is not how a maid is supposed to act." Frederica admonished her, but couldn't bring herself to frown at her.
"Sorry." she apologized, settling down.
"This really could be interesting!" Felt smiled happily, taking the bait with ease.
"Interesting indeeeed~" the strange clown agreed.
"Then entertain, before I grow bored." Priscilla just had to throw her useless cent in.
Reinhard and Julius were curious as well, since they, too, were too preoccupied with the viewings to listen to the lyrics. Julius might have been curious, but he did not look forward to the song that underlined his failure protecting his friend.
Emilia desperately wanted to know what the lyrics of the lullaby were that 'she', her voice, sung, while she soothed Subaru.
Rem wondered as well. What did 'she' sing, when she rebuild Subaru's confidence in himself, as her hero.
"Okay then, Kevin. What is the first song, I suppose?" the spirit asked, admittedly curious herself.
Glad you asked! It's "Redo", by Konomi Suzuki! Have fun~~!
With those parting words, and revealing that the song had an actual, tangible author, the screen lit up, showing the first frame of the first 'introduction' that they saw. But this time, they saw letters across the screen. Presumably the lyrics.
They heard the music starting.
"It still irks me that Subaru's journey has been musicalized in such a way... A bard I can understand, but this... This is as if it solely exists to entertain us." Crusch quietly muttered to herself.
The singer, presumably this unknowable Konomi Suzuki, began to sing the lyrics.
I'm trapped by my own past, losing my way
Please tell me it isn't true!
I'm not really sure if I can control it all at will
The sky grows hazy
Where can I find the right path?
"Just like the visuals of this... music, its lyrics are already bleak." Julius was the first one to comment.
"Mhm..." Al hummed in agreement.
"This is Subaru talking, isn't it..." Felix asked aloud, mostly rhetoric as the answer was obvious.
"Most likely so. It is 'his' story, after all." Wilhelm answered, focusing on the screen.
"He is confused, and doesn't know what to do..." Emilia, even though she saw most of Subaru's journey, felt concerned about his well-being again.
"But he said he is trapped in his own past... What does he mean by that?" Rem muttered regretfully.
"Beatrice, do you know something?" Otto asked, already not liking where the lyrics were going.
"I... As much as I regret it, I do not know anything about Subaru's own past, I suppose." The spirit in question looked down, once again ashamed of herself for not understanding her contractor's pain, which, apparently, went even deep into the past.
"So not only did he endure great hardship here, eh... Give him a break." Al could only laugh dryly.
"Subaru..." Emilia took the sleeping Subaru's hand, gently this time. She hated that foreboding feeling. The past... it did remind her of the trial... She hoped he didn't partake in it in her place in a failed loop or something of that nature. She wouldn't want to see that. But... it would also, probably, give them a hint about his past...
'No! Stop that! The trials are mean! Subaru does not deserve that' she admonished herself in her mind.
But his past...
Once again, that line of thought brought her to think as to why Subaru was summoned to their world. As much as she loved to have him here, it did not explain why it happened in the first place.
The only precious thing left in these hands,
Is an unforgettable memory, over and over again,
I shout that I'll protect you in the end!
The love I grasped amidst this rewind
Yeah, I'll never let it go!
"He is talking about his loops." Crusch stated.
"Even this song shows how much he wants to protect 'you'." She looked at Emilia, smiling gently. It was enviable to have such loving devotion dedicated to oneself. Again, her own resolve grew. She will not give up so easily. She will help him get this happy future too.
Meanwhile, a catboy felt sick.
Emilia smiled in return, but it was more hesitant. His love, she felt undeserving of it still.
"His infatuation knows no bounds." Priscilla commented, speaking on the behalf of the more critical thinkers. Namely, herself.
"Never letting that love go, you say, bro... It was your sole anchor in this madness... But we'll see about that." Al said as well.
"Oi, stop that." Garfiel growled lowly at them. His captain's devotion was awesome!
The clown found it to be such a waste. 'You had such a fitting mindset at the beginning, as it would seem... I need to know... How did you break out of it?'
Feelings studding the sky become a wish that can only be granted once,
So I entrusted it to the next version of myself
That promise we once made will become a guiding light
I make a vow that exists for your sake... until the very end!
Turning even my tears to strength, I'll find the futures I'd always desired,
And tie them together!
"Promising to save you, no matter how much he dies. This song is a visualization of his promise to you, and his resolve." Julius, the honorable knight, gave his opinion.
"Yes, an admirable resolve..." Wilhelm said with a stern look at the screen.
"But a sickening one as well. He is supposed to treat his life with care! Not give it away and let his future selves take care of it!" Felt finished Wilhelm's thought. "A self-sacrificial attitude has its limit!"
"Not in his eyes. Which is something that needs to be fixed." Priscilla agreed.
Seeing his resolve bared like this to her, it made Emilia blush. However, it did not mean that she approved of it.
Meanwhile, Crusch and Anastasia continued to analyze Subaru's potential inner workings. Otto didn't like that, but what could he do at this point?
Losing my mind as the situation goes beyond imagination,
Raising my claws only to struggle and flail about, 'cause in my heart
I think of the mistakes I've made in this life, over and over again
Playing on repeat, I start to despise them
Even amid the tears
"Not so easy to do it, is it..." Ricardo said, grimacing in sympathy.
"He doubts himself. His unfair situations... His failed loops... Subaru..." Emilia grabbed Subaru's hand tighter, but controlled her strength.
She will not hurt him, and she will not let him get hurt. At any price.
Rem agreed wholeheartedly, wiping a small tear away.
"He doesn't doubt himself. He hates himself..." Julius corrected the half-elf, angry at the situation. He always hated it to see Subaru hate himself.
"That... doesn't make it better..." Rem lamented, and Emilia shut her eyes for a moment.
"He said 'this life'... does he means his life as a whole?" Tivey asked casually.
"Remember... this song was one of the first thing's we've seen. He hates himself since long ago." Al had sympathy for his bro.
"He did say that to Rem, quite clearly, in fact." Beatrice was unhappy to remember that aspect of her contractor. "Stupid contractor..."
"However, I think he means his first Arcs, in this case I hope." Crusch said. "He... could have handled them better. But that is expecting much, since he was just transported to this world, with no knowledge whatsoever. A truly unfair situation. But, I wouldn't put it past him to blame himself for it anyway."
"That is a likely the case." Wilhelm agreed. Having seen this boy's journey so far, he truly had a terrible self-esteem.
But your dreams always shined so bright
I'll come back (Yeah) I'll come back (Yeah)
To your future (Go away)
I'll probably end up struggling against fate
Breaking out (Yeah) Breaking out (Yeah)
Breaking down (Yeah Go away)
'Cause I haven't given up yet!
"But for Emilia..." Otto began, waiting for it.
"Captain's willin to go through with it!"
"Yeah!" The duo gave each other a high five, smiling brightly. "Tha's more like it!"
"'Struggling against fate'? That's put nicely..." Ricardo said, giving a dry chuckle.
"Struggling against hellish situations, is more like it." Al said.
"But he hasn't given up!" Emilia refuted.
"Because he is a hero!" Rem added.
"Betty's Subaru is Betty's contractor! It is obvious that he would be the best, in fact."
"Right on! Captain's the best!"
"Natsuki-san really is something, I would know!"
"Barusu might be an idiot, a lecher, and general trash. But he has his moments." Ram hooked herself on the praise-train.
'He saved my sister... after all.'
"Exactly! Subaru is awesome!" Petra added to the camp, while Frederica smiled proudly.
Crusch's camp didn't comment, but they smiled at their praise. As did Felt's.
The pessimists, and the optimists.
Who would prevail in the end? Only warden-chan knows.
Our conjoined purpose becomes a strength greater than when we were alone,
Reeling in the thread we spun
The new eyes we discovered will change our ideals into reality
This world always existed for your sake... from the very beginning!
With the feelings we kept firmly in our hearts, and the determination continuing from that day
"'This world always existed for your sake'? Bro, what?" Al said, sweat-dropping under his helmet, subtly looking towards a certain fiery-haired princess. He supported his bro in his love life, but this was a little much.
Surprisingly enough, Priscilla did not show any strong reaction regarding that line. Instead, did she... did she smile smugly behind that fan?
Al could imagine what she was thinking, given this type of response. So, he sighed mentally out of relief.
"That does sound a bit obsessive..." Wilhelm said, ignorant to Al's inner turmoil. However, Wilhelm couldn't blame Subaru the least for these kind of thoughts. For Theresia, he wondered what he would have done.
"I think we have established that Subaru was quite obsessive when he first got 'ere." Anastasia said, a bit uncomfortable remembering his past actions. His embarrassment in the palace, especially. Goodness, what things he spouted.
"Who would kill themselves multiple times for a person they've just met in passing?" Felt asked everyone, as morbid as it was.
There was a moment of silence, an uncomfortable silence.
The one to break it was a young maid in training.
"...Subaru." Petra answered quietly, uncomfortable with this atmosphere, and the contents of her answer.
"Who else?"
"..."
The knights wanted to answer 'I would!'', but that would most definitely be a lie, since 'a person in passing' are not the ones they are currently serving under.
If Reinhard And Julius answered now, their lieges would surely smack them.
"And there you have it. Big bro's obsession with big sis Emilia was, and frankly, still is, freaky to look at, and to an extend towards Rem. I wouldn't be able to forgive the person who tortured and murdered me multiple times."
Rem flinched at Felt's cruel, but true words. Yes, Rem would never, ever be able to get over such a thing. It will haunt her for the rest of her life. No matter how much Subaru would forgive her for it, she would never allow herself to forgive herself.
'After all, I'm a m-'
"...But I cannot blame him for that. Since he loves you two." Felt added with a toothy grin.
Emilia blushed, and so did Rem.
Crusch smiled, watching them like that. It looked so nice to be told by Subaru he loved you, she remembered from the last viewing.
The catboy had an itch all over his body he couldn't get quite rid of.
Meanwhile, the clown still thought calmly to himself. 'This is the perfect mindset to have! How did you break out of it! You were truly just like me! How did you do it?!'
His face, however, betrayed nothing. Okay, a little twitch here and there perhaps, noticed by none other than Ram, who did not dare to ask about it.
We'll be able to fly: Redo!
Even if you were to forget me,
I can never forget again, I can never again hurt another
"Ha! Here it is! The title of the song!" Garfiel exclaimed, shaking Otto beside him.
"Yes, yes. It very much is." Otto humored him with a helpless smile.
"Subaru did say that himself, didn't he. That he would never forget his past loops, even if the world does." Crusch said, and Anastasia nodded in agreement.
"But now, we know of them as well. He doesn't have to feel alone anymore!" Emilia cheered, optimistic for Subaru's future.
"Perhaps a bit..." Anastasia muttered. "But we will never know what 'we' exactly thought in those loops, only what we did. We've lost parts of ourselves we didn't even know of. And that loss of information is a lil' disconcertin." Even though the Arcs didn't involve her much, she still found the idea of just forgetting everything truly frightening.
"I won't let him, in fact." Beatrice muttered defiantly, at no one in particular. Fate, perhaps.
"'Hurting another'... Does he mean hurting another physically, or emotionally?" Petra asked.
"I'd say both." Al answered. "Though, cannot say how successful he will be with that mindset. Given how much bro suffered by refusing to hurt another."
"I love that part of Subaru-kun as well." Rem said.
"You'll not go on 'nother tangent about how much you love all aspects of Subaru, do ya?" Anastasia teased. Rem's speech in an earlier viewing made that crystal clear.
"...Don't worry, I'll try not to..." Rem pouted, a bit embarrassed at being called out like that.
This time exists to rescue that fading past
And it all begins now!
"Yes! You can do it, Subaru!" Emilia was happy that this lyrical Subaru was determined, and not lying in despair. Her camp happily agreed, ignoring the clown. All camps were ready to cheer Subaru on.
However...
'You've all seen where that determination of his comes from, yet you all act like this? Fools.' Priscilla didn't bother correcting these buffoons. Given what she had heard from the future Arc from the Emilia camp, everything could reveal itself there, depending on how Subaru failed at first. However, she still doubts that those issues of his are resolved even at this point in their current time.
He really has the potential to be something great. He just needs a lot of filing.
This revolving instant becomes a wish that can only be granted once,
And I've been firmly entrusted with it
That promise we once made will become a guiding light
I make a vow that exists for your sake... until the very end!
Turning even my tears to strength, I'll find the futures I'd always desired,
And tie them together!
End
So ended the song, leaving a quiet theater behind.
"..."
"It wasn't that bad, was it?" Otto was the first to speak, feeling relieved, wiping a bit of sweat from his forehead.
"'Course it wasn't." Garfiel agreed, bumping his bro.
"It did not teach us much new about him. It more cemented the ideas we had about him. Like his obsession with Emilia and a happy future, his self-hatred and doubt, and his self-sacrificial tendencies." Crusch listed off, sighing out, also relieved that it wasn't something extremely dark as she initially anticipated, something deeply hidden, that no one saw even in the viewings.
Still, she didn't like the mindset of that Subaru. Hopefully it will get better in the future songs. Unfortunately, she had her doubts.
"Do not forget about his determination!" Emilia insisted while checking on Subaru's hand. It was perfectly fine, which made her feel quite proud of herself.
"I saw that as his obsession with the future, but I admit, I could have phrased that more pleasing for his situation." Crusch shook her head, shrugging. Perhaps she should grow a bit more sensitive about such things, maybe that would make Subaru grow more favorably towards her.
"But, don't you think it's amazing?" Petra was the one to ask. "Even though Subaru is suffering so much, hurting so much, he still walks on. Yes, he cries, and doesn't want to die, but who wants to? Subaru is amazing. He is amazing..."
Beatrice agreed. "Betty's Subaru is amazing, in fact."
Hearing them swoon and praise like that, Crusch's more darker thoughts thinned. "Yes, that's right." she agreed.
Frederica smiled proudly at Petra, but she didn't see that.
The other camps nodded in agreement, particularly Felt and the siblings.
"...Now, not to interrupt the nice times 'ere, but ain't it time for the next song?" Anastasia said to the screen impatiently. She wanted to know more, pronto.
Oh in-indeed it is! And the next song is a f-favorite of mine!
There was the voice of that warden, Kevin, again, sounding even more weird than before. Is that guy seriously drinking off-screen?
"Already?" Otto wondered. "That fast? Don't we get a break or some-"
Who needs breaks? I don't see you guys emotionally brrrroken! You can take a few songs more! Maybe we'll do a whole marathon, ha! Let's see shall we?
Otto looked dumbfounded. Emotionally broken? How crass than this new warden be? Not even their old warden was this mean.
I prrrresent you~~ "Styx Helix", by Myth&Roid! Sounds like Android! Ehehe~~!
With that, the screen lit up again, and promptly let out a few, melancholic sounding, piano notes.
AN Ramble (read at your own risk):
Well well well, I didn't expect to write this little mess of words, but it was fun. And, as a complete amateur in this, I am quite happy with the length, even if it is quite short. Yes, the length, not the quality itself, important priorities here you know. I wrote this little thing because I thought nobody would ever bother doing it, when even Reactionist finds it too awkward (would be a little embarrassing for me if that decision was retracted after all, but it would be welcome). But really, am I just an excruciatingly slow writer, someone who is really hesitant in his writing and overthinks every two-row paragraph and chooses the wrong decision anyway, or is it normal to take like a whole night to write only so many words. If the former, shame on me, if the latter, holy shit how do you all write this much. Original content, I can understand, but reactions to something else, that's an entirely different discipline.
And that was only for a four minute long song, its lyrics to be precise, of which the first third was an introduction. I don't want to imagine a whole forty minute long episode of an animated series that needs proper descriptions, serious consideration to create proper reactions and believable actions with it. I have it easy here. Though I do have no experience with lyrical analysis, as one might be able to guess. Hopefully the cast doesn't either.
So, how did I do for my real second try in writing something? Did I pull any heartstrings? Did anything of this make any sense? Did I make some of you exhale slightly stronger than usual? Did I manage to manipulate your very emotions according to my will?
But really now, what is most important here is... I hope it was entertaining to read, if nothing else. Either because of the sheer genius of my writing prowess, or the lack of it. Not sure if I should try to do the rest or continue to wait for someone more capable to write this idea out. I am not very creative, you see? With me doing this, it could end up as the same thing over and over again, which may be a familiar feeling to some. But I do feel cute right now, I might make more later, later being a broad term between weeks, months, or the number 15.
And, on the off chance there might be a kindred soul, if someone wanted to write something like this, please don't let me discourage you! Please finish that work if you thought about it! I only wrote this because nobody else did, or at least I couldn't find a single one!
And now, before the wordcount gets infested by this useless ramble (too late lol holy crap this feels longer than the fic itself), I'll sign off with a: Write whatever bullshit you want, even if the idea and execution are horrible. Fiction is your sandbox, and your creativity is your only limit (very apparent in my case).
/Over and out/