A/N: Surprise! I somehow had this burst of energy today and managed to write this whole chapter (which I love and I hope you do too!) and get a lot of work done and spend time with my family? I'm calling it a huge win. I can't wait to hear what you all think of this one, it might be one of my new favorites. Feel free to let me know!

Hailey had this idea in the middle of the night that she'd put a baby picture of her and one of Jay in the nursery. She didn't know why exactly, but she needed to do it, so once Vanessa was out of the hospital, she invited her over to help her with setting up the room.

"I'll never get over how freaking adorable you were," Vanessa laughed as she flipped through a photo album of stray pictures Hailey had from growing up. "Hey, Buzz Lightyear," she said and patted the ground, "Come here and look at your mommy."

Blake glanced up from looking at a book upside down. He pointed to Hailey, "Mama."

Hailey smiled at him before continuing to look through Jay's box.

When they'd moved to their first house together was when Hailey really realized how different their families had been growing up. While Hailey had a paper box she'd taken from her first district years before and then filled with the few items she'd held onto from her childhood, Jay had a plastic one filled mostly with stuff his mom had set aside for him.

"This is just the stuff I want to keep close," he had explained when pulling it out of his closet, "My signed Cubs ball, baby book, pictures of my mom, stuff like that - stuff that's too important for the storage container."

They'd gone through it one night a couple months later on his mom's birthday. It was the first time she'd cried over the woman she'd never met. That night, she remembered they just held each other in bed mourning. She'd wished so hard she could have met Jay's mom; she knew she would have treated her like a daughter and in ways her own mom may have lacked. She didn't know that Jay had been crying for that very reason as well - Hailey wasn't ever going to have the chance to have that mother relationship he knew she craved.

That feeling came back today when she was sifting through Jay's box. She desperately wanted to have the chance to talk to Jay's mom about pregnancy. Talking to her own mom was still off the table after her comment about Drew and Blake not being real grandchildren, but she still wanted a mother's advice - unfortunately, it couldn't happen.

She finally found the little blue album filled with Polaroids and pictures of Jay during his first year. Each picture was adorable, but she picked one of him at six months old sitting with a teddy bear in his crib. She quickly scanned it with her phone then slipped the picture back in the book. As she placed the album in the box, she noticed another book on the bottom of the box that she then gently tugged out.

Baby Book for Baby Boy Halstead

Hailey remembered Jay had mentioned he had it before, but she never really pushed to see it. It seemed private. Now, though, with Jay's baby growing in her stomach and pushing against her bladder every ten minutes, she assumed it was fair game.

Before opening the book, she glanced up to see Vanessa and Blake distracted by her own pictures. She then took a deep breath and looked down at the pages causing her chest to immediately tighten.

When I found out I was pregnant with you, I was terrified. Will's really not going to be that much older, but we'll figure it out. We will love you with everything we have. I am so excited to have two little babies in my house. This is all I've ever wanted. I promise to try and be the best mom I can be. I have no doubt that you'll make our family complete. I can't wait to meet you.

There was a picture of his mom taped to the page. Her caption said it was taken the day she found out she was pregnant. She didn't look pregnant, just tired…but extremely happy. Hailey remembered the feeling, especially since she was taking care of Blake had the same time. She'd never taken into account that Jay's mom had also raised two babies under two-years-old. She really would have been able to give her advice.

On the next page, there was an ultrasound picture and it said, "It's a boy!"

A boy! We're having another boy! I'm so excited. Will is going to be the best big brother to you. You two are going to be best friends, I'll make sure of it. I'm not like Mary Anne, I promise, I'm not upset that I'm not having a girl. I won't dress you up in dresses with ribbons and bows. This is your life and I promise to support you in doing whatever you aim to do. A little boy. I'm happier than I ever could have imagined. Our house is going to be loud and messy – I can't wait.

The page right next to it contained a list of names. Most of them were boy names, but there were a couple girl ones listed with a note underneath them.

Sorry, I promise I'm still going to be a cool boy mom. I just wrote these before I found out you were a boy.

Hailey's lips parted and she breathed, "Oh my god." There were just three names written down, but one of them happened to be the exact name they had picked for their own daughter. Hailey's eyes closed and her she felt like her heart warmed inside her. It was as if her mother-in-law was confirming that everything they were doing was right. Yes, it was just a name…but it was a name that Drew had come up with, that Jay and Hailey had both loved, and now that Jay's mom would have named him had he been a girl. It felt like a full circle and Hailey couldn't have been happier.

"Did you say something?" Vanessa asked.

Hailey looked up and shook her head.

"You okay?" Vanessa crawled over to her.

"Um," Hailey cleared her throat. She didn't want to give away the baby's name just yet, so she said, "This is Jay's baby book. It's really sweet. His mom really went all out and filled out all this stuff about her pregnancy."

"Oh, wow," Vanessa breathed. She gently took the book from Hailey and ran her fingers along the pages. She laughed softly, "Can you imagine him being named Peter? You'd be married to a Pete."

Hailey laughed and wiped her eyes, "I know."

"Looks like Jay wasn't even on her list," Vanessa said softly, "James was, though, and Jonathon; I wonder if she couldn't decide on those two, so she just picked Jay."

Hailey nodded and looked over at Blake. He was still sitting where Vanessa had left him. His little hands were lightly touching the pictures of Hailey in the photo album and he couldn't take his eyes off of them. She wondered if he could tell it was her.

"How was your morning sickness?" Vanessa asked.

Hailey turned back to her with a shrug, "It wasn't awful. Maybe once a day, but it only lasted a few weeks."

Vanessa slowly nodded, "She wrote that hers was worse with Jay than Will. I wonder why. Weird how the body works like that."

"Pregnancy is weird," Hailey laughed. She placed her hand on her stomach where she could feel the baby's foot kicking out against her side like she was trying to stretch out.

Vanessa flipped a few pages to when Jay was actually born. Neither of them spoke as they looked at the pictures from the hospital room, Jay's footprints stamped to the page, and all the details of his birth. Hailey found it slightly ironic that Charlotte had chosen an epidural during her birth with her son who absolutely hated needles. She still hadn't quite made the decision on what she was going to do; it seemed to change by the day and her mood. Despite what she'd talked about with Stella and then Jay, part of her was still thinking about how he would react to seeing a needle sticking in his wife – plus, she was pretty scared herself.

"Her first meal was a slice of deep dish," Vanessa laughed softly, "That's cute."

Hailey smiled through the tears that were starting to form and nodded, "Yeah."

"I wish I had one of these," Vanessa breathed, "Jay's mom really loved him." She flipped backwards a few pages and dragged her finger along the handwriting, "I mean…he has everything right here – how she craved a block of cheddar cheese and pickles, every prayer she said to him, I think I even noticed a lock of his hair in the back – this is special."

Sniffling, Hailey closed her eyes. She thought about how loved Jay was by not just his mom, but by her, their friends, and their kids. He needed that reminder every once in a while.

When she opened her eyes back up to let a tear slide down her cheek, she noticed Blake had tugged an old Beanie Baby from her box. It was light blue and clearly loved with its faded fur. He was moving its arms around for a minute before standing and bringing it to his small stuffed dog. He sat them next to each other then laid in front of them just to stare. As he had them touch hands like a high-five, he laughed and softly talked to them.

Hailey's smile slowly grew across her face. She wiped her tears and took a deep breath. Her boys were special and loved too, so they also deserved something to remember growing up like Jay had…and like what she didn't have.

Jay came home that night closer to bedtime. He smiled at the sight of Drew and Blake on the couch watching TV together in their pajamas when he walked through the front door.

"Hey, you two," he said softly.

Drew glanced over and waved before turning back to his favorite show.

Jay walked over to lean over the back of the couch and brushed his hand over Blake's hair still drying from his bath. "Hey, bud, you tired?" he asked.

Blake blinked up at him as he continued drinking from his sippy cup. In his free hand, he was holding the same Beanie Baby he'd found earlier.

Jay gently picked him up to cradle in his arms, "Long day?"

Blake closed his eyes with a sigh.

Jay glanced at his watch, "Last one, Drew."

"I know," Drew quietly replied as Jay retreated up the stairs.

He stepped in his bedroom to see Hailey staring at herself shirtless in their bathroom mirror. Laughing softly, he knocked on the wall and said, "Hey, hot stuff."

Hailey turned and smiled, "Hey." She spotted Blake and quickly pulled one of Jay's t-shirts on.

Jay walked over to peck her lips, "Good day?"

"Yeah," Hailey brushed her hand over his cheek then looked down at Blake. She smiled at the Beanie Baby still in his tight grip.

"Where'd he get it?" Jay asked.

"It was mine," Hailey sat on their bed. She grabbed a hairtie off her nightstand and threw her hair in a bun, "Vanessa came over today to help me figure out how I wanted out baby pictures in the nursery, so we spent some time looking through our old stuff."

Jay sat next to her, "Mine too?"

Hailey nodded and gently pulled the nearly empty sippy cup from between Blake's lips. "Oh, I know, I know," she whispered when he sleepily whined, "It's okay, sweetie."

Jay watched her fuss over Blake for a moment before asking, "Is that all you did today?"

"Um, no," Hailey shook her head.

Jay waited a beat then chuckled, "Can you tell me what else you did?"

Hailey laughed with a shrug, "I went shopping. I…I want to start something for all the kids."

"Yeah?" Jay smiled, "And what's that?"

"So many questions," Hailey lightly teased. She wrapped her arms around her stomach, "Well, I found your baby book-"

The smile on Jay's face immediately froze and Hailey could tell he stopped breathing. "Oh," he said weakly.

Hailey rubbed a hand over his back then gently scratched along his hairline, "Have you looked at it?"

Jay cleared his throat, "Not in a while."

Hailey nodded, "It's nice…maybe you should." She watched his shoulders shrug just slightly as he turned back to watch Blake giving into sleep in his arms. He didn't say anything, so she pushed off the bed and walked over to the stack of books on her dresser. She found Jay's baby book and flipped to the page with the names. "At least look at this one thing," she said while holding it out to him.

"It's just going to make me upset," Jay quietly admitted.

Hailey shook her head, "I think this page will be good for you."

Jay took a deep breath and reluctantly grabbed it. His eyes first skimmed the page where she wrote about his gender before flickering to the list of his names. They seemed to widen slightly as he took them in.

"She wanted to-"

"I know."

Hailey's smile began growing again and she tilted her head to the side. "Like it's meant to be, right?" she continued softly.

"Yeah," Jay weakly laughed, "Wow." He adjusted his hold on Blake then flipped to another random page. He smiled at the memories she'd written about his baby shower.

"When your grandpa showed up to help with the gifts, he brought Will with him and I'm so sorry, but your brother seemed to steal the show. He just loves cupcakes," he read aloud.

Hailey laughed and sat next to him, "Isn't it cute?"

Jay nodded as he scanned the list of gifts his mom had received. "It's pretty cool," he said, "Maybe even more so now that we've had our own showers and you're pregnant and we've had a baby."

"Yeah," Hailey whispered still watching him stare at the one picture of his mom taped to the page in awe. She took a deep breath and stood up, "It made me want to start some."

Before she could walk back to the dresser, though, Drew came in the room yawning.

"I'm ready for bed," he said.

Hailey smiled at the way his stomach peeked out from his pajama shirt that was getting slightly too small. She nodded and put a hand out, "I'll go tuck you in."

"And I'll be there in a minute," Jay said. He put the book on the bed, "I'm gonna go put this guy in his crib."

"Fingers crossed he stays in it all night," Hailey breathed.

Drew sleepily laughed and pulled her hand to his room, "You need to let Dad take the bars off."

"I don't want to," Hailey said as she turned down his covers, "Blake's too little to have his big boy bed."

Drew shrugged and curled up on his bed.

Hailey let out a breath and rubbed her hand over his back until he turned to face her.

"Do you think I ever escaped from my crib?" he asked.

Hailey tried to smile as she said, "I'm sure you did."

"But I follow rules," Drew pointed out, "Blake doesn't think rules apply to him. He's going to be a law-breaker."

"Dad and I will talk to him if that ever happens," Hailey said. She kissed his forehead, "Go to sleep."

"Okay," Drew sighed.

A hand reached over Hailey's shoulder to touch Drew's forehead as well causing her to smile because she knew Jay had just kissed his fingers like he had been doing every night for a while now with both Drew and Blake. It was something she didn't want to ever forget him doing.

"Love you, buddy," Jay said.

Hailey stood up to lean back into him, "I love you too."

"And I love you," Drew closed his eyes. He blindly reached around until he found his stuffed dinosaur that he then hugged to his chest before curling back up into his small ball.

Hailey tucked the blankets around him and watched him for just a minute. She then took a deep breath and walked out of his room with Jay right behind her.

The second they returned to their room, Jay picked up the baby book again, yet didn't open it this time. "It hurts," he said with a deep breath, "But it's a good hurt?"

Hailey nodded and walked straight to the dresser, "I know what you mean. You miss her."

"Yeah," Jay sighed, "I really do. I wish she was hear so we could hear all about being pregnant from her mouth instead of just reading about it."

"At least we have it," Hailey said softly. She hesitated then grabbed the three books she'd bought earlier that day before turning toward him and saying, "I want us to try and do it too."

Jay looked up, "What?"

Hailey bit her lip then walked over to him. Sitting next to him, she said, "I love that your mom did that for you, and I want us to try and do the same for our kids, so," she cleared her throat and held out the books, "I bought these."

One of them was a navy hardcover notebook with the word 'STRENGTH' stamped on the front in silver letters. The middle book was white and said 'As You Grow' on the cover in big, black writing. The last was a soft pink book with a sketch drawing of a baby under the words 'The Story of You.'

Jay started smiling and knew exactly what they were, so he nodded and grabbed the navy book. "Wanna keep switching off?" he asked.

Hailey smiled back and nodded quickly, "I'd love that."

They worked past midnight swapping the notebooks as they wrote memories about each kid. Hailey spent a lot of time on the new baby's just because she knew the most about her different pregnancy symptoms, but Jay wasn't shy with writing about their baby sprinkle or the day they found out she was pregnant whenever Hailey remembered something random about Drew or Blake that she wanted to write down.

Eventually, Jay fell asleep against the headboard with Blake's book on his chest and his pen loosely held in his hand. Hailey smiled at him through her own weariness before putting the book and pen on his nightstand. She then carefully shifted Jay down as best she could so he was resting more comfortably on his pillow.

When her back was turned to put the other two books away, he began mumbling quietly and shifting around on the mattress. She hurried back to him and softly shushed him. It had been happening each night since Vanessa was shot. She'd been brave enough the following Monday to finally ask if there was a connection between that day and the apparent nightmares. Jay admitted there probably was and that the guilt was eating him alive. She tried having Vanessa talk to him, but it still wasn't exactly helping.

Hailey watched his face etched in worry as she brushed her fingers through his hair. Taking a deep breath, she whispered, "I wish I could help you more."

She then remembered a part of Blake's book about how he slept and her eyes widened. Turning quickly, she grabbed Jay's baby book off his nightstand and flipped through it looking for a similar page.

You're a cute baby, my Jay, but you've been having a hard time sleeping. We were told to never put a baby on their stomach to sleep – you could suffocate! Do you know what your grandma did, though? She put you on your stomach. Your father and I were upset, but it worked. I don't know why or how, but it worked. We're being very careful with it, so this better not end badly. I'm just glad you've stopped whining in your sleep. I feel so bad for you. I really hope you're not having nightmares. You're still so small. I'll always protect you.

Hailey bit her lip then glanced back at Jay. She'd actually realized early on in their friendship when they'd first spent the night together that sleeping on his stomach did seem to help him.

"Well," she breathed and stood up, "Might as well try it again."

It took her a minute and a lot of blanket and pillow maneuvering, but finally she rolled Jay onto his stomach. She then sat back down next to him and rubbed his back until she was tired herself. It was pushing 1am, so she decided to give in and crawl under the blankets herself to easily fall asleep.

Hailey woke to Blake pulling at her fingers that hung over her body pillow. She sighed and rubbed her eyes, "Blake Henry."

Blake giggled and pulled harder at her hand.

Hailey turned to tell Jay that Blake climbed out again only to see he wasn't there. A quick glance to his nightstand told her exactly where he was.

She sadly smiled then sat up with a deep breath. He probably needed to visit her after the night before.

Jay came home just under an hour later with a box of donuts in hand. "Anyone want breakfast?" he called out.

Drew quickly ran down the stairs still in his pajamas, "Did you-whoa! You bought us donuts? It's not even anyone's birthday."

Jay laughed and led him to the kitchen, "I thought it'd be a fun Saturday morning thing."

"Very fun," Drew nodded with wide eyes and opened the box once Jay set it down.

"One," Jay said, "You need to leave some for Mom and Buzz."

Drew nodded again and grabbed the one with sprinkles.

"Where are they anyways?" Jay asked.

"In your bed watching Toy Story," Drew quickly answered, "Can I have apple juice, please?"

"Course," Jay poured him a glass before heading upstairs to his room.

Like Drew said, Hailey was sitting in bed with Blake next to her staring wide-eyed at the TV like he usually did while watching the movie where his name came from, and, just like always, he clapped whenever they said 'Buzz.'

Hailey smiled and waved when he walked in, "Good morning."

"Morning," Jay chuckled. He kissed her then set his baby book on her nightstand.

Blake didn't even bother turning to greet him, but Jay didn't mind – he just sat on the edge of the mattress to look at Hailey.

Her eyes softened and she tilted her head to the side as she said softly, "Doing okay?"

Jay nodded and grabbed her hand, "It felt good to go talk to her. I read a couple of the pages."

"Good," Hailey squeezed his fingers, "I'm glad."

"Yeah," Jay cleared his throat then raised an eyebrow, "Weird thing too, those flowers we left there last week on Mother's Day were already gone. I mean, I know they were probably dead, but usually the groundskeeper leaves flowers for two weeks, so it seemed a little off."

"Oh, really?" Hailey asked.

Jay smiled slightly and nodded, "Yeah, replaced by some white daisies. I needed to put my lilies on the ground."

Hailey shrugged and let out a breath. She couldn't hold it in for long, though, before she gave in and smiled.

"Thanks," Jay whispered as he hugged her, "I'm glad you can go visit her."

"She's my mom – well, my mother-in-law," Hailey said and rubbed her hands over his back, "And she taught me a lot about being a mom yesterday. I needed to thank her."

Jay kissed the side of her head, "You're an amazing mom, just like she was."

"Thank you," Hailey closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Course," Jay breathed. He brushed his fingers through her hair now loose from its bun then said, "I bought some donuts, so-"

"Yeah, I'm going to need like four," Hailey laughed and pulled away to slip from the bed.

Jay laughed as well, "Then go before Drew eats them all."

"He better not," Hailey smiled and squeezed Jay's arm before hurrying from the room.

Jay let out a breath and looked to Blake still entranced by the TV. He could tell there was probably only another fifteen minutes left of the movie, so instead of pulling him out of the blankets, he kicked off his shoes and laid down next to him.

Blake easily shifted back against Jay's side while still watching the movie until it finished. He then turned while saying, "Dada?" but Jay was asleep. Blake watched him breathe for a moment then laid down himself. He grabbed the Beanie Baby he was still carrying around with him and held onto Jay's shirt with his other hand.

When Hailey came up to see what was taking them so long, she loved seeing them both asleep, so she took a picture on her phone and added it to the album titled 'Print.' She fully planned on taping it into Blake's book.

It was a memory worth keeping.