This fic is based on one of my older ones. I am currently rewriting it. I hope you enjoy it.
The darkness was smothering me, yet that was never the worst part, the worst part was the extreme cold. I could feel it wrapping around me, enveloping me in its icy grasp. There was always a part of me that knew this was a dream, but it was buried, buried deep beneath the more dominant part of me that was frozen in fear and consumed by confusion. My frozen fingers ached as I held them to my chest, and my eyes squinted into the pitch-black darkness around me. The only sound came from my feet hitting the ground as I aimlessly walked through the inky fog, a wet squelching gave away that there was water beneath my feet, and I slowed down. I bent to my knees and ran my fingers across the ground in hopes of finding some evidence of my location. My brows furrowed in confusion when I felt nothing, no wetness, nor cold, just...nothing. I stood, my heart pounding in my chest.
Where was I?
Glancing around, I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. A rhythmic pounding of someone's feet caught my attention, and I turned towards the sound, my stomach shadows to my left parted, and a figure started toward me. I slowly backed away, the water at my feet splashing around noisily. The cold had intensified with the figure's arrival, and my lungs burned with every fear-filled breath. The figure's steps became heavy and fast-paced, and I turned on my heel, running at full force. I couldn't make out who, or what, was following behind, but it didn't matter, I just knew I had to run. My muscles ached with the effort, but I kept going. The darkness never receded no matter which direction I turned, and what little hope I had, was wearing thin. I wasn't sure how I knew that being caught wasn't an option, but I did. My mind screamed that the figure brought nothing but death with it. So I continued forward, always running, always hearing footsteps following close behind.
My eyes snapped open, my aching body was trapped in my old worn quilt, and I took a few deep calming breaths as I freed myself. My fingers and toes were still frozen from my dream, and I wiggled some life back into them with a small grimace. I could still almost taste the bitter cold; it was a sharp metallic flavor that lingered on my tongue. A warm sensation fell on my face, the sun coming in through the small window above my bed, and I basked it. Stretching out, I tossed my blanket to the floor and sat up, lifting my arms above my head. I couldn't live without the sun, the light was all I'd ever known. That was part of what made my nightmares so unbearable; the darkness was...all-consuming. I was used to warm, sunny days - separated by long, severe rainstorms. It was really the only type of weather we had on my home planet. I'd never traveled outside of Corellia, never having the units to spare. I barely had enough to survive where I was now, let alone anywhere else. Although it was hard being alone, but it was all I had ever known. Well, for the most part. I was an orphan, or at least that is what I called myself. My parents disappeared when I was ten. They went hunting and never returned. I waited for days before I realized they had abandoned me. I only figured it out when I saw they had taken all their clothes and spare units. I hated them after that; I never went after them.
Luckily, I had always been a self-sufficient child. That was their final gift, I guess. They taught me how to hunt, forage, and defend myself. My father had left behind more than just me, but also all of his weapons; even the one he had used most of his life. It was my favorite; it lit up bright yellow, like the sun on its best day. I had always loved watching him use it. It would almost sparkle as it cut through the air. Yellow used to be my favorite color.
I never understood at the time, why my parents always insisted I knew how to take care of myself. Now, I realize they were preparing me for what was to come. At least they were kind enough to teach me how to survive without them.
I stood to my feet and shook off the nightmare and the memories that followed, just like every day. It was beginning to become a routine. Go to sleep, have the nightmare, wake up, go through the day, then do it all over again. Such was life; I was used to it, and I wasn't about to allow myself to crumble. This was all I'd ever known, or will ever know. I'd taught myself long ago that dreams were meant for other people. I was just an orphan girl from Corellia, and getting through each day was enough for me.
I grabbed my toiletries and went outside to the makeshift shower, a little waterfall beside my cottage. I didn't have to worry about anyone seeing me because I lived so far in the forest. I never received visitors, no one dared travel too deep into the forest. It was easy to get lost, or worse, come into contact with one of the many beasts that lived in these parts. My parents had been very private people and had made sure to build the cottage deep in the forest, where we would never be disturbed. It was built directly beside a creek with a beautiful small waterfall, it was perfect for showering and gathering water. My mother had created a wonderful garden to supply us with fruits and vegetables. Father had always told me we had everything we needed right here. "The forest provides." It had been his motto.
I took off my clothes and stepped under the cool water. I allowed it to wash everything clean, even my mind. Once I was done, I wrapped myself in a towel and went inside. I was out of meat, so I knew today would consist of hunting. I quickly threw on my green hunting attire and pulled on my combat boots. I placed my red hair in braids and grabbed my knives and bow. I looked myself over in the mirror by my bed and rubbed at my tired blue eyes. I frowned at my pale reflection, my mind a million miles away. My dry chapped lips fell into a scowl. I couldn't shake this awful feeling, that today wasn't just another day. It had been nagging at me since I woke up. It was like I could hear a small voice trying to reach me from somewhere deep inside. When you heard that tiny voice, my mother used to say that it was there to protect you and that you should always listen to it.
I thought she was kinda full of it. Of course, I'd never really heard the voice until after she was gone. Though, as I had gotten older, and the dreams had gotten worse, it was a near-constant feeling. I couldn't pinpoint where it was coming from, but It was always there - flickering in the back of my mind. Through the years, that nagging buzz had gotten to be so familiar that sometimes I would forget it wasn't supposed to be there. Then there were other times, times when it would become so loud I could do nothing but press my hands over my ears, in the hopes that it would dull the pulsing thump in my mind. Those were the times when I would ignore it out of sheer spite. I had gotten pretty good over the years at ignoring it, but it would always leave behind a dull ache in my head, an angry reminder of its existence no matter how I wished to deny it.
As I stared at myself in the mirror, I couldn't believe the dull lifeless expression that stared back at me; I could feel the heavy thumping in my mind - its forcefulness like never before. I had done all I could do to deny its very existence, to deny that strange connection to whatever lies inside me. I wanted to forget my mother's request to connect and listen to the voice within. I was a normal girl, and this was not the kind of thing girls like me do. My mother's religious beliefs did not have to be my own. When I was younger, my mother had told me so many crazy stories. Why should I choose to believe this one? Couldn't the things I have felt all just be a fabrication of my own addled mind? I had been alone for a very long time, maybe I was finally losing it?
My pale face screwed up in confused exasperation, eyes clouding with unshed tears. I felt so ashamed. I rubbed at my forehead, there was a tight pressure behind my eyes that wouldn't go away.
Fine, I give in!
I clenched my hands into fists and took a deep breath, closing my eyes. I exhaled, releasing the air from my lungs and letting go of the stress from my body. I relaxed my shoulders and unclenched my hands. I had never tried to connect with whatever was constantly harassing me and didn't exactly know what I was doing, so I was just going on sheer instinct.
The buzzing in my mind lulled to a slow pulse, and I felt my heart start to match the pace, a slow steady: Thump, Thump, Thump Thump, Thump. I twisted my neck around and felt my body fall into a peaceful sedate state. I pushed out a simple thought into the void, not knowing what else I could do.
"What do you want from me?"
"Elara this is just the beginning. Be brave, child."
I gasped, taken aback by how clear the voice had become. It was only a whisper until today. Just an annoying constant buzz. I had been right, something about today was different. That thought terrified me. I opened my eyes and turned away from the mirror, avoiding my wide horror-filled eyes. I shook my head, denial held firm in my grasp. Nothing would be different, this wasn't a fairytale and I was no heroine.
I adjusted my bow and started toward the door. In the corner of the room, on the storage shelf, my father's saber started to move on its own. I stopped in my tracks and slowly turned, my bow sliding off my arm and to the floor. I stared, open-mouthed, at the wiggling silver weapon. I have never seen it do that before.
What the hell was with this day!?
Before I knew what I was truly doing, I started to walk towards it. My footsteps stopped when the buzzing started again - the voice sounding in my mind. An unknown, soft tone I had never heard before today.
"Elara, it's calling out to you. Answer its call."
I had no clue what it meant, but as I stood there, like a brainless oaf, my arm began to rise of its own accord. Something inside me clicked into place and I opened my hand. I focused on the saber, the cool metal of its hilt, and the hidden power within. I could feel a strange unknown energy rise within me, it called to the saber, and as it did - the saber flew towards me. My eyes widened and I screeched, falling to the floor. I landed on my stomach, my nails digging into the wood beneath me. I turned my neck, looking up, and watched the saber fly past me and out the door.
"What the hell was that," I whispered, rolling over onto my back.
I sat up and stood to my feet, carefully following the saber outside. I glanced around hoping to find some proof that what just happened...actually happened, and that I wasn't entirely insane, but I couldn't find the saber anywhere.
"Ok creepy voice. If I'm not a crazy person, which I most likely am, I could use your help again," I said, bending down and looking in the bushes.
"Elara, the saber answers your call. This time stow away your fear and believe in yourself."
I jumped, falling forward and landing face-first in the bushes in front of me. I grumbled, pushing myself onto my hands and using a nearby tree to pull myself up. I brushed off my hands and bit my bottom lip angrily. I rolled my eyes with a huff of breath and placed my hands on my hips. It was so easy for this disembodied voice to be fearless. It didn't have its entire world suddenly turned upside down, and then get attacked by a flying weapon!
Shaking my head, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, focusing as I had done in the cottage. Holding out my hand, I winced, my entire arm shaking with nerves. I kept my eyes closed out of fear, and waited. My wrist jerked harshly as cool metal met my awaiting palm. I grimaced slightly in alarming shock and slight pain. The shock won out when I opened my eyes to find my father's saber firmly seated in my hand.
How the hell did I do that?
"This is your first step in becoming what you were meant to be."
My grip on the saber tightened and I brought it close to my chest, my hand still shaking. What I was meant to be? No, I couldn't possibly be meant for more than this. I was just Elara, just a normal girl no one wanted. I closed my eyes and reached out, finding it easier now than it had first been. What that meant, I didn't think I wanted to know.
"What was I meant to be? I'm just me. Just a normal girl. How can you say I was meant for more?"
I stood in between my cottage and the opening of the forest, waiting silently for an answer. It was almost as if I were standing in between my past and my future, just waiting for permission to dream for more; something I had never deemed possible. Hope was an extraordinary and dangerous thing.
"You must go to the village. There you will find your destiny. Good luck, Elara. May the force be with you."
The buzzing in my head hummed to a gentle stop, leaving me behind. I was alone again, alone with my constant barrage of thoughts and confusion. The village. It wanted me to leave? I had never been allowed to leave before. I had only ever known the walls of my cottage and the world of the forest. The force? May the force be with me? I vaguely remembered my father saying that before. Whispered conversations about something he called the force, he would only speak of it when he thought I wasn't around. What exactly was it and why was I only remembering these pieces of my past now?
I lowered myself to the ground and leaned against a tree, the rough bark a welcome distraction. I looked down at the saber in my hand, the metal now warm in my firm grasp. I ran my thumb across the igniter on the side and gasped as it came to life. The bright yellow glimmered like a burning sun. I stood to my feet and waved it back and forth, swinging it around experimentally. The hiss it made as it passed through the air had always mystified me. I had never been allowed to use the saber as a child, and even after my father left, I couldn't bring myself to touch it. I kept to my bow and knives.
Could I do what the voice asked me? Could I be more than what I was now? Having a destiny wasn't something I had ever considered. I watched the yellow recede as I de-activated the saber and placed it on my belt. I glanced out over the forest and back toward my cottage. The choice was clear.