I edited this chapter because I didn't like how it was to begin with.
Humans are a fickle group of people!
Human nature . . . well that is a whole other story in itself . . .
Looking back through the years of my life, I've began to notice a few key things. The major thing being-humans, in most cases, are vain. Each person is only concerned about their self or of the ones who affect their own life. A good word to describe them is selfish; yes, selfishness is perfect!
Of course there are a few exceptions to this rule, but not many! As each day passes it seems that there are less and less reliable people. Everyone is too worried out themselves to notice their surroundings. I have almost given up hope on the people in the world, but, because of the very rare kind and caring people, I have not.
I am, however, left with one question: Why do some care for others while others do not?
Truly, a mind boggling question and, no matter how hard I try, I can't find the answer. Countless years I have sat back and watched the happenings of others but never found the answer.
What makes them so special? Why do they do it? Why them?
Never do I find an answer and I probably never will. I will forever sit back, pondering and waiting, for the answer to come to me. All in all, waiting for an eternity if not longer seems . . . . boring . . .
Even as I sit here, surrounded by the useless chattering of others seated nearby, I can't help but zone in and out of reality. I try not to remember things as they once were, but how can you help it when you're free of the binds of time?
As I sit here, I can't help but ponder on how it would be like to be someone other then who I am-someone who is normal. I remember complaining a lot when I was younger to my friends.
Sighing, I take a small sip of my drink, closing my eyes as I feel the warm liquid trail down my throat, warming me to the core. Normality. Would I ever obtain it? Probably not but, since there are no more enemies, I can't help but to feel anger at those around me. To think, some people actually crave what I have! Insanity is what it is!
If only . . . . if only . . . .
I mean, really, is it too much to ask to be normal; to be one not chained and forced to fulfill the whims of the fates? I guess it is . . . I guess it is . . .
Come on, is death really all that much to ask for in the end?
Here I am, quietly asking for death as if I'm fearless. Quite funny considering I am the complete opposite of that! I never have been and never will be fearless! How could I be, honestly? I mean, trouble seems to follow me everywhere. Wait, scratching that, it seems to follow this thing everywhere!
My hand shifts to the chain around my neck. Sliding to the end of it, my fingers grasp a beautifully cut gem and pull it eye level with myself. A small frown settles on my features while my fingers play with the cool object. How could something so small be so important? Of course I knew the answer, and have known for longer then I'd like. Doesn't mean I have to like it!
I find it highly annoying that the crystal is the soul purpose for my remaining existence. I thought, after I had followed the paved path that the fates had made for me, that I would be free. Unfortunately, I was utterly and completely WRONG!
I've lived many a millennia now, and I've grown in many a ways; at least, that's what I like to think. Maybe I haven't change, but since no one I know is still around, I can't really go and ask!
Once more my mind begins to drift back to times far into the past. No matter how hard I try I can't help but let a small smile, not one of kindness, to slip back onto my face. I'm beginning to wonder, what with the new quiet surrounding me, if I'm starting to scare some people with this smile of mine. Regardless, I let my mind drift back to a time when I wanted to live on this wretched planet!
Wow! Things have certainly changed since then, especially me!
I know my outlook on life on this planet is not the best or what it should be. I can't help how I feel. I haven't always felt this way, but, after so much, I couldn't fight the feeling any longer! Maybe this is some weird and very wrong form of revenge for causing my late mother and Senshi's so much trouble long, long ago. I wouldn't put it past Rei; she always had it out for me! However, I really couldn't see sweet Amy doing this. They do say to look out for the quiet ones, don't they?
They also say to be careful of what you wish for! Yes, I'm beginning to understand why they say that. I did enjoy life here but I do miss what I had. I grumble to myself as another 'idiotic' saying pops into my mind. I drop my crystal and my gaze down to my cup, glaring at the contents with in it even though they did nothing wrong.
Why can't things be simple? I mean, I was happy when I thought I was just a normal human girl but then things had to change. Why?! I only had to worry about school and boys and never thought I'd have to worry about anything else. I was wrong there, so very, very wrong!
Looking back, I can't help but to realize that, in a way, in many aspects, I had been just like most humans are now-greedy and selfish! I only wanted to be normal. I didn't want to fight wars that were not my doing or my own. Well, they were but I did not want to claim them to be. My first war was my own and it was a war of revenge! I fought hard, suffered losses, and suffered losing my own life. The other wars were over something I soon grew to hate, my own reason for existence, the other part of me, my curse, my burden, my soul, my crystal. I've lost track on exactly how many time's I've died for this thing, but, in reality, it doesn't matter. All those deaths, all the pain, all the agony that me and my friends had to go through over and over!
In the end, no matter how hard I-we tried to prevent it, I ended up all alone. Even now, I'm still alone with no one to relate to or really talk to. I wanted to move on and make new friends but it's impossible. I already have to worry about records forming. I move from place to place and start anew after so long. I can't stick in one place too long without raising suspicion.
Still, even to this day, I wish I would have stayed dead along with my friends. Unfortunately, I didn't which is why I'm sitting here sipping my coffee. I can't help but to find that funny as well considering how much I hated the stuff at first.
I was reborn along with those I loved as I said earlier; however, nothing lasts forever, especially peace. My whole first life as a human consisted of nothing but fighting for the majority of my adolescent years. Finally, things settled down towards the end of my teenage years. I got married, followed by my pregnancy, and, once my child was born, my goal as secret savior and protector soon turned into ruler.
I couldn't believe my luck! I was still unable to be the normal girl that I wanted to be, but, instead, had to serve and protect those who did not fully appreciate what I did; what my friends and loved ones did.
As I said before, nothing lasts forever and that included the peace that our kingdom first brought. One 'perk' of the jewel dangling about my neck was immortality. Because my successors were not of pure lunar lineage like I was, I have been forever tied to the crystal. The crystal ended up refusing each heir and forcing me to live on regardless of my wishes to grow old and die with my love.
"More coffee, Miss?" I heard the voice of my waitress break through my thoughts. After shaking my head of its jumbled mess, I turned and gave her a light smile, nodding a yes to her.
I watched as the dark liquid pour into my cup, filling it with hot, steamy liquid. I mumbled a quick thank you and watched as the waitress moved on to her next table. My thoughts soon wondered back to what they were before the interruption, and my hands deftly went to adding my cream and sugar.
Another cold smile graced my angelic face that has yet to be touched by the hand of time even after all the years I've lived. I have lost count of my age, what's the use of me to count it? No one would believe me. Everything I worked for had fallen apart. My children and their children and their children all lived their lives and with each one the royal line thinned out. Each marriage brought forth another heir, all of which were more human then their parents. The more human . . . the more mistakes. . . the more mistakes . . . the worse things turned out to be and the more strain it adds. No wonder everything fell apart and people forgot. Things can only take so much strain before everything final crumbles away.
If possible, my smirk grew colder as my eyes narrowed on my drink. I had been stirring the cream and sugar in my coffee for five minutes now and still hadn't taken a sip. Still I stirred, watching the liquid swirl into a mini whirlpool of a creamy brown color. For me, this represented my life. My hard work and hope, the creamer, and my descendants, the sugar, stir together in the black voided mess trying to fill it with something else without success. Yes, there was some change but not much.
Taking a sip I could still taste the bitterness of the caffeine engulfing my senses, overriding them. Barely could you taste the sugar and the cream had hardly any affect, only a slight visual difference of it ever being added. The waitress walked by again and I signaled for her to add a bit more warmth to my now cooled drink.
More liquid entered the effects of the cream and sugar growing weaker just as mine had in the world. My eyes fluttered closed as I continued to grow lost in my past. I could hit myself for remembering the fall of my kingdom of the peace. I was disgusted at how easily it was to destroy, all because of.. . of the human side.
Sighing, I finished off my drink and stood to go pay. Briefly I conversed with the boy behind the cash register. I couldn't hold back a low giggle as I noticed him blush and fumble with the money I had given him.
"Thank you and come back soon, Miss!" he stuttered out just as I stepped outside into the cold. A shiver coursed through my body and I immediately wrapped my arms tighter around my body. My futile attempt to warm me up more barely even worked but something was better then nothing I thought to myself. I wasn't sure where I should go since there wasn't really a place to go. My head moved from left to right, blonde wisps of hair hitting back and forth on my face each time the wind picked up. Finally I decided to head right, towards the park.
With my arms still wrapped tight around my body, I made my way to a place that held one too many memories for my tastes. Nevertheless, it still held a comforting essence to me. No matter what was wrong, the park always seemed to make things better. Immediately upon entering the park I began to make my way to my favorite bench-the same bench on which I basically grew up on and made many a great memories, some bad and some good.
My eyes took in the withered wood, aged and haggard. I'm surprised it still stood considering how many battles took place in this park, in this exact area to be more precise. As my body relaxed into the seat, all my stress seemed to dissipate and the worry and grief that had been plaguing me seemed all the less nerve racking.
I took a deep breath, eyes closing lightly as I did, and enjoyed my surroundings. Even with my eyes closed I could see things even better then I did the first time. In my mind, I could see the lake speckled with the fallen autumn leaves, sunlight glistening off its surface as the wind danced over the surface. My ears picked up the sounds of the animals in the forest behind me, the leaves blowing and rolling along the ground, and the people relaxing here as well. The air that flowed in and out of my nose brought many familiar scents to me. The smell of wind was more dominant then anything. Who could mistake the crisp clean scent as it flowed around them, playing with their hair and clothing? Definitely not me!
I was attuned with every element, every creature, everything! Nothing escaped my notice as I sat there in peaceful solitude. My eyes slowly opened, allowing myself to adjust to the sunlight before opening completely. I smiled as the mental picture I had painted to myself was the reflection to what I saw before me. A chuckle escaped me as I thought how what I done was similar to cheating. I mean, after so long, who couldn't remember this place leaf for leaf?
Suddenly the wind picked up causing not only the leaves and my hair to thrash violently but also a paper to escape the confines of the trash bin. I hoped it would miss me but no such luck. By the time I saw it coming it was too late!
SMACK!
My eye began to twitch in irritation when the wind continued to blow the paper against my face, the edges of it flapping against the side of my head. I growled low in my throat and reached up to rip it off my face and to the side. However, the headlines caught my attention.
DEATH TOTALS CONTINUE TO RISE IN KATOU
My eyes narrowed into slits as I read further into the article. Recently, unexplained murders had been happening across Katou to inmates. At first, it was nothing special, a heart attack here and there but things slowly progressed. Coincidence? I think not and the police didn't believe it to be either. Well, at least that's one thing in the human's favor; my reign had opened their eyes to a certain extent. The influence might have not all been for not.
Smarter, was a word that entered my mind but then that would imply that they were dumb, something they were not. Well, not all of them anyway! There were a select few, there always are in every category of life.
Another shiver escaped me, reminding me to the fact it was getting late and colder! Folding the paper and tucking it under my arm, I stood and turned the way I came, treading home.
My thoughts still lingered on the article even though it was not filled with enough facts to truly keep my attention. What were a few heart attacks to some criminals? Most of the victims were ones on death row or who had committed crimes that were deserving of that in the eyes of many. Regardless, whoever or whatever was doing this they needed to stop-another fact the cops and I agreed on.
Playing God was not something anyone should take lightly! This game, as they obviously seemed to see it as since they kept changing strategies to confuse the police, was not one anyone, let alone any mortal, should play. This was dangerous and the effects would be disastrous. Nothing good could come of this, however it seems some people did not think the same.
I scoffed at the stupidity of some whom thought this deed was a good thing. They seemed to know nothing of the penalty to come for this. How were they to know that they would not mess up and end up in jail? Maybe, if that happened, they would be in the same situation as those being murdered now were. I wasn't certain and it was not my place to interfere. On the other hand maybe it was seeing as this case was screaming the work of something unworldly.
Would human means be enough to stop what was going on?
I'm not sure, but I do know, for now, until the time comes, I can only sit back and wait. None of the innocent was being hurt and, if they were, I had about as many leads as the police. For now, no matter how badly I wanted to, I would have to sit back and wait.
Besides, if worse came to worse, I could always infiltrate the police system through more direct means. I could see the goofy grin on my face without looking into a mirror as I pictured my disguise pen. It would be so easy to get in and learn what I needed to know. Was it worth the trouble? For the time being it wasn't so I would wait. If it came to the point I would be needed I would help but not as my past self, people had long forgotten their heroine of long ago. It was better that they never be reminded of it unless it was absolutely necessary. I only prayed it never got to that point!
Finally, I reached my place. It wasn't home but it was enough. I opened the door and walked in, shutting the door behind me and shutting the door to another dull day fulfilled. Now all I had to do was wait for the next to come and see what it held for me.
RxR