"No. Absolutely not." Shinichi wasn't going to take this. "I've worked too hard to get to where I am! I have my normal body back; why can't I have my normal life back too?"
"We understand that, really, we just think you may have some trouble adjusting," his mom said tactfully.
"Your girlfriend is going to eviscerate you once she figures out you've been Conan this whole time," his dad translated. "As a child, you had plausible deniability for a lot more of your strange behaviors. As her best friend since childhood, you're basically screwed if you spend more than ten minutes around her."
"And we'd really like you to outlive us, so that's why she can't know! We've made arrangements for you to stay with a relative while you readjust. 'Conan' is going back to America, and you should call Ran in a few weeks to let her know that the case is over, but you've received a head injury that you're still recovering from, and you're staying in Ekoda until you've fully healed."
"And I don't get a say in this, do I."
"Shinichi, you're sitting on the counter and swinging your legs."
"So?" He'd crossed his arms before he even realized it. "Okay, fine. Why can't I do this on my own terms? I could go to Osaka and stay with Hattori! I don't even know who you're sending me off to live with."
"Oh, don't worry about it! He's the son of an old family friend, and can pass for a relative of yours. You'll be in the same class, and he'll be able to help you catch up with your homework. Not to mention, he's very good at keeping secrets, and he's enough of a troublemaker that you won't draw too much attention."
"Why do I feel like both of you are in on the same joke and waiting for the other shoe to drop?"
"Relax, Shinichi! We're sure you'll get along like a house on fire!"
The clearly meant 'house on fire' literally. It was something of a miracle they didn't need to call emergency services.
From the moment the boy introduced himself, Shinichi could just tell something was off. For one thing, there was his name— Shinichi thought he had it bad, but the parents of one Kaito Kuroba seemed to have crammed every possible pun into one name, and Shinichi didn't like it.
Then there was the fact that he introduced himself with a sweeping bow and an all too familiar white rose, which made Shinichi's eyebrow twitch.
"Nice to meet you," Shinichi lied through his teeth, taking the rose as if it was poisoned. "Co— Shinichi Kudo, detective."
...okay, he was going to apologize to Hattori. Old habits died hard.
"A detective?" Kuroba smirked. "Well, this ought to be fun!"
"Well, I'm glad at least one of us will be enjoying himself," Shinichi muttered. He almost turned around and got back into the car right then and there, except he could hear his parents driving away behind him. Damn it. They'd probably be in Switzerland by tomorrow. If only they'd taken him with.
With that option gone, he took his suitcase and trudged inside. He was going to get his parents back for that.
It took less than an hour for his suspicions to be confirmed, and that was only because Kuroba insisted on playing the part of a courteous host and dragging him on a tour of the house. It was only afterwards that he managed to unceremoniously dump his luggage in the guest room and do some real investigating in the most suspicious part of the home.
"Ah re re?~ The walls don't seem to match up. I wonder..." He poked and prodded the portrait, wondering what sort of secrets could be hiding behind it. It was certainly large enough for a child- no, a normal sized person, he was a normal sized person - to fit through, and was set so close to the ground that he could easily step over the threshold. If he could only find the mechanism…
"Hey! What are you doing?" Kuroba's voice came from behind him, and Shinichi turned to see his new housemate leaning against the door frame. "Did you just say ah re re? Seriously?"
"Uh, no!" Just then, the portrait gave a sharp click, and Shinichi drew back sharply, but not before it had rotated slightly on an axis in the middle. A perfect distraction from his slip-up. "I knew it! I knew you were hiding something!"
"Actually, my family just happens to be dramatic that way." He crossed the room with a grace Shinichi could only dream of in his current state and smoothly pushed the portrait back into place. "Really, poking around this early? And here I was hoping you'd give me the benefit of the doubt a little longer."
"You're Kaitou Kid, aren't you?" Shinichi accused. "The name, the stage magic, the hair, the secret passage- and don't forget I've gotten a better glimpse of your face than anyone."
"That means-" Kuroba gasped in delight. "Tantei-kun? You're not as tiny as you used to be, but you've grown even more spiteful! You were the only one who was both short and clever enough to get a good look at me."
"What?" He was not expecting to be figured out this soon. "That's impossible; how could anyone grow up that fast?"
Kuroba shrugged. "Heck if I know; my first guess was always that you were just hellspawn in a child's body, but I guess a teenage detective works too. You get used to strange things when you're pretending to be your dead father and chasing immortality while a witch occasionally tries to enslave you with her magic."
"What do you mean, a witch is trying to enslave you with her magic?"
"Her name's Akako. You'll meet her on Monday; red hair, boys fawning over her at every moment, girls either fawning over her or jealous, but mostly both… she also likes to give extremely cryptic and ominous prophecies, so watch out for that."
It was hard to tell if he really believed in Akako's powers or if he was just messing with Shinichi. It occurred to him then that his parents absolutely knew about Kuroba being Kid and sent him here anyways. "Witches and magic aside… I take it my parents didn't tell you about my identity and you figured it out on your own?"
"Uh, yeah? Mom just said she was sending over a friend's kid to stay for a while. That we had a lot in common, but she figured we'd be like night and day, and that I'd need to just be myself and..." The realization finally dawned in his eyes. "Our parents set us up, didn't they."
"They knew that I'm the biggest threat to your night job and you're the reason I have high blood pressure, as if the other heart problems weren't bad enough. And they left us together on purpose."
"Temporary truce while we plot our revenge?" Kuroba offered.
Shinichi considered a moment and decided that working with his annoying nemesis was well worth it. "I'm in."