Chpt. 17 APOV:
"We should leave this room at some point," we've finished the late lunch that Christian arranged to be brought to our room.
"We're going to observe level three this evening," he reminds me.
"I know, I was just thinking we should be out there," I gesture towards the windows. "I…I think I'm going to need a little practice on this whole TPE thing before we get to the play room."
"Oh…okay," he nods as if thinking about it. "I suppose that makes sense. We could go down to the pool for a little while if you want. Unless there's another area of the resort you think we need to check out?"
"No, I think the pool area is fine."
"There's a bathing suit for you if you wanted to swim, it's actually pretty hot out today."
"I might do that," I go over to the dresser and pull out the small yellow bikini that was packed for the trip. I slip the sheer robe off that I've taken to wearing around the room since apparently subs don't wear pajamas or normal clothes when they're not in a scene there isn't much else to wear. I had considered wearing one of Christian's shirts but I worry that someone might walk into our room unexpectedly and we would be caught. So the sheer, completely see through robe has become my go to item when we're in the room. As I put on the bikini I'm surprised at how much it actually covers as compared to the other outfits I've worn here. Of course it's not something I would wear outside of the resort, but it covers what it's supposed to. The top has small yellow triangles that just barely cover my nipples, but otherwise the top is all string. The bottoms of course match, a small yellow piece of fabric just barely covers my sex before connecting to pieces of string that hold it on.
"Wow…" Christian gasps when I open the bathroom door.
I blush as I watch his eyes take me in from head to toe and back up again; this hunger is evident in them when his eyes find mine. He walks up to me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close to him. I can feel just how much he appreciates my outfit with him this close. His hands glide over my bare skin, touching me everywhere he can reach as he nips at my neck. Despite everything last night, I immediately respond to his touch and rock myself against him.
"We should go," he whispers against my lips.
"We could stay here," I argue.
"If we stay here we're never going to leave this room," he smirks. "And you're probably still sore from last night."
"I'm not," I lie. My muscles are still sore, but I'm definitely not too sore for Christian to make love to me.
"Hmmmm, good to know," he kisses me sucking on my lip. "Later tonight then, I want to take my time with you and if I do that right now we're never going to leave this room."
"Tonight," I kiss him back running my tongue over his lips causing him to groan in response.
Christian goes into the bathroom to change into swim trunks and comes out a few minutes later. Before we leave, Christian changes the collar I've been wearing since we arrived. Instead of the leather one, he attaches a small silver chain link collar explaining that this one can get wet whereas the other one can't. Just as we're about to leave he grabs the leash from the wall near the door and attaches it to me. A knot immediately forms in my stomach, which I know doesn't make sense since I've worn that leash countless times since we've been here.
"Are you ready for this?" he asks.
"I think so," I answer honestly hoping he doesn't hear the shakiness in my voice.
"You're going to do fine," he assures me. "Just remember to defer to me. If someone approaches you, a sub or another dom, you look to me before you speak to them. If it's a sub, my I'll nod and you can then speak freely. If it's a dom, I'll shake my head and you should immediately come to me without saying anything to them."
"Okay…"
"If it helps, think of this like an extended scene…"
"Yeah."
Except a scene is different, I immediately think. These aren't our rules so I can't argue with them and if we want to move onto the next level we have to portray ourselves as in a TPE arrangement even if up until now we haven't been. I hate all the rules that we're now forced to follow; it's one thing to not speak during a scene and follow the rules there because it's for a relatively short period of time. But this? This is different; this is not speaking and following strict rules until we come back to our room. I don't even want to think about what it'll be like when we get to level three. Crawling around on all fours while gagged and leashed…no thank you.
Christian leads me down to the pool where he grabs two towels from the bin and sets them on a chair. My eyes have been glued to the ground the entire time which is odd since I have to force myself not to look up to watch where I'm going. Instead I have to rely on Christian to lead me to our destination and hope that I follow him close enough that I don't bump into anyone or anything.
"You may swim," he releases the leash from my collar and places it on the chair.
I nod in agreement but don't answer otherwise; instead I take what he said for what it was, essentially a command. It's not really a command though since we talked about it in our room, but it still feels like one rather than him asking if I wanted to go swimming. I have to remind myself why we're doing this, knowing that this is what's required if we're going to be successful at the third level. I have to assume that we're being observed at all times outside of our room, why else would they require us to be in a 24/7 TPE arrangement outside of the playroom?
I glance around the pool, pleased to find only a couple of people in the pool itself plus a handful of others lounging in the chairs. I step into the surprisingly warm water which instantly cools me; even though we've only been outside for a few minutes I can tell that temperature is much hotter today as it has been over the last few days that we've been here. Once I get used to the water, I swim a few laps, stopping every few times to check on Christian who has his eyes glued to me the entire time.
"Hi," a soft voice says when I come up for air against the wall.
I immediately glance to Christian, thankfully remembering protocol. I don't need to worry what will happen if he isn't watching me, because just as before he's watching my every move. He nods, indicating that I'm free to talk to the woman next to me. Again, a rule I hate but…whatever.
"Hi, how are you?"
"I'm Merissa," she extends her hand.
"Ana," I shake hers. "I haven't seen you here before."
"We just arrived last night," she gestures towards the side of the pool where I assume her dom is sitting. I force myself not to look over there, as tempting as it is, I know it would go against the rules. "Have you been here before?"
"No, have you?" I ask.
"Yes, several times actually," she giggles. "Master likes to come whenever he can get away from work."
"What does he do?"
"He's a lawyer, so unfortunately his schedule keeps him pretty busy but he tries to bring me here whenever he can."
"Do you work?"
"No, I take care of his house and any other needs he has. What about you? Do you work?"
"I'm an administrative assistant for a mergers and acquisition company," thankfully I remember my cover story.
"And your master?"
"He's in IT."
We chat for a little while longer, mostly about nothing of significance. I want to ask if she knows anything about level four or the girls that are missing or even what goes on at level three, but I don't. The conversation steers away from any type of play conversations and no matter how hard I try, I can't figure out how to bring up my many questions to her. I can only hope that perhaps over the next few days if I come out here that I'll get to know her a little better and she'll open up to me. I glance over at Christian a few minutes later surprised to see him talking to an older man. I catch Merissa looking over and immediately I know that the man Christian is talking to is her dom.
"Come now," a deep stern voice commands and Merissa quickly drops her eyes and heads out of the pool.
Instead of staying in the pool, I climb out and walk towards Christian stopping dead in my tracks when I see him staring at me. The look on his face is unreadable; anger is definitely there, but there's something else…something more that I can't read. I follow his eyes down and immediately realize what he's staring at; apparently when my bathing suite becomes wet it is see through. I gulp seeing the outline of my nipples through the top; assuming the bottoms are see through right now as well I can only imagine what Christian must see. I walk over faster to him, he meets me half way with a large towel and places it over my shoulders. To anyone else it probably looks like he's simply helping me dry off, but I know he means to cover me up with the towel. He leads me back to the chair where he once again attaches the leash before we both sit down. I can feel him staring at me; I'm sure he wants to say something but can't right now. We sit there for awhile, the sun slowly drying me off from the pool.
"Let's go," Christian commands as he stands.
We leads me back to our room, my eyes remain glued to the ground the entire time. Even though I don't have anything specific to say to Christian, I have to fight not to say something to him. Eventually we make it back to our room and I immediately check to ensure the recording devices haven't been turned on while we were gone.
"We're clear," I confirm.
"Fuck Ana, that bathing suit was killing me," he says. I look down, happy to see that the bathing suit is once again no longer see through now that it's dry.
"I wondered why it seemed modest compared to the other outfits that I was wearing while we were here," I admit. "I hadn't factored into it becoming see through when it got wet."
"Me either," he groans.
"Who was it you were talking to?" I change the subject.
"David Jones, or at least that's the name he goes by," he shrugs. "Obviously he's a dom; he's comes here several times a year with his live in slave Merissa."
"What's the difference between a slave and a sub?" I ask. "Sometimes it seems like they mean the same thing, but when you just said it now, I get the impression they're two different things."
"Those terms means very different things and should not be interchanged," he explains. "A sub is someone who is submissive during a scene only. Outside of the scene, for the most part, she is not submissive. Although the contract might spell out certain rules that she must follow per the dom, for the most part her submission is exclusive to a playroom or bedroom."
"But a slave is different?" in my research I concentrated mostly on what scenes would look like, what might be required and terminology for the different pieces of equipment. I focused less on titles, but now I'm wishing I paid more attention to those.
"In a true slave/master arrangement, the slave is completely owned by the master. They live a true 24/7 TPE arrangement in all aspects of their lives. The master makes all decisions for the slave, everything from what she wears to what she eats/drinks to whether or not she has a job. The slave gives her entire submission, in most cases she gives up her safe words-"
"She gives them up?" I gulp struggling with this.
"She gives them up because she has given her master her ultimate submission; he knows what's best for her and how far he can push her," he continues. "In exchange he is responsible for her every need, every want and every desire."
"Wow…that sounds…."
"It's intense," he says. "It's not something that is for everyone."
"Have you…?"
"No."
"Is that something you want, ultimately?"
"No."
"No?"
"I like submission in the bedroom; I crave submission in the bedroom," he clarifies. "But that's the extent of the submission that I want. If I were in a relationship with beyond the playroom, I wouldn't want to be responsible for their entire well-being. I wouldn't want to make all those decisions for them; nor would I want them to want me to do that. I would want her to make her own decisions, to have her own dreams."
"Oh."
I take a shower, washing the chlorine off from the pool before we get ready to go to the level three play area. I'm sort of relieved that we're not sceneing in there tonight; my nerves are already a mess just trying to imagine what the new area will look like and how much more intense the scenes are going to be required to be. I wish we could get away with just observing the entire time we're there but I know eventually we'll need to scene or it'll raise red flags as to why we would be in there otherwise. I'm also worried about how little I'll be able to see when we're there considering I'm supposed to be on all fours the entire time. I shake my head at the image; how someone could enjoy this I'll never understand. I'm going to be treated like a fucking animal for Christ sakes. Yet people voluntarily agree to this? They actually want this?
"Are you ready?" Christian calls from the bedroom.
"All done," I step out of the bathroom fighting not to cross my hands over my bear chest.
I look up at Christian when he doesn't respond, wondering if he doesn't like the outfit but when his eyes meet mine I realize while he's probably feeling an array of emotions when it comes to my outfit, hate is not one of them. This is the most revealing outfit I've worn so far and the fact that Christian is starting me out here makes me worry about the rest of the outfits. At a quick glance you would think I'm wearing a normal baby doll style lingerie piece. However, once you reach my chest you realize it's anything but a normal piece. The black, see through fabric of the baby doll style piece comes up to just under my breasts before stopping; from there a thin piece of black fabric encircles the outside of my breasts before meeting in between them in a large bow. My breasts are completely exposed, covered by absolutely nothing. The panties of course match the outfit, not that I would expect anything less. The black, see through lace, starts just at the top of my sex before separating as it drops between my legs leaving my sex completely exposed before it connects against in the back as a thong.
"I'm going to kill Mark and Sawyer," he hisses after several minutes of silence.
"Not that I want to wear this…I have a feeling if I didn't it would look odd," I point out.
"I'm still going to fucking kill them," he growls.
"You can kill them when we're done here and back home."
Neither of us say anything; we haven't discussed what happens beyond our time here. I have no idea what happens when we return to Virginia and this mess is behind us. I think we've both avoided the topic because neither of us know what we want to happen when we return home. Do we try for something more? I don't even know if that's possible. It was bad enough that before this mess we had our crazy past behind us, but now we also have this mess. How do you move on from a place like this? A place where he is leading me around on a leash, where I have to crawl on the floor at his feet, where he has to order my food and speak for me? A place where someone dictates how our scenes have to look? Yet a place where we've come closer, where I've realized just what a hold he's had on my heart all these years, where I've-
"Are you okay Ana?" Christian pulls me from my thoughts.
"Yeah…I'm fine," I shake the thoughts from my head knowing that they have no place here. "Are we ready to go?"
"Apparently there is an area we can use to attach everything once we arrive at the playroom, at least according to the papers Brian gave me."
"Like where I changed when we got here?" I cringe remembering the nearly see through curtains that were supposed to provide privacy.
"I'm assuming so."
"Let's…do it here," I request.
"Are you sure? It means walking over there with the clamps and plug…"
"I know," not that I'm eager for either of them but at least while we're here I don't need to hide my reaction.
"We'll attach the gag while we're there," he adds and I nod in agreement. He retrieves something from the bag, but I don't have a chance to see what it is before he shoves it in his pocket and walks over to me. He's in front of me, his hands on my breasts teasing my nipples and despite not looking forward to where we're about to go and what's going to be expected of us my nipples begin to harden under his touch. "You look so fucking sexy Ana. I want to keep you here and not let anyone else see you. When we come back here tonight, I want you to ride me while you wear this outfit. I want to watch as you beautiful breasts bounce as you ride me, as you make yourself come while riding me-"
"Christian!" I gasp at the sudden, unexpected bite on my nipple.
But before I can look down to see what he's attached, his lips are on mine, his tongue tangling with my own as he continues to tease the other nipple. I'm so wrapped up in Christian that I'm again surprised when he attaches the second clamp to my nipple. It's not painful, but it is somewhat uncomfortable. However Christian continues to distract me, kissing me thoroughly until I feel my knees go weak and I lean against him. Without saying a word, he leads me over to the bed, urging me to bed over it which I immediately do.
"I love how responsive you are," he groans sliding his fingers through my wet folds.
I gasp when he sinks two fingers into me; I rock back against him as the need takes over. His wet thumb presses against my tight entrance; I tense knowing what's coming but when his other hand slides underneath me and begins teasing my clit I forget about what's coming and focus on what he's doing right now. I rock against his hand, needing more; I'm so close but not quite there yet. He leans over me, his chest pressed against my back, his erection is at my ass, letting me know that he wants me as much as I want him right now. All I want is for him to tug his jeans down and thrust into me, to fill me and hit that spot-
"Come Ana," he hisses in my ear.
As if his words are all I needed, my body explodes; I come so hard I barely feel his thumb press into my rear entrance prepping me for what needs to happen before we leave. I can't concentrate on anything; not his fingers continuing to thrust in and out of me, not the clamps pinching my nipples and not his erection against me. I collapse onto the bed, breathing hard, my arms no longer able to hold me up. I have no idea how long I lay there like that, but Christian remains behind me, rubbing my back and soothing me as I slowly come down from the high. When he must feel I'm strong enough, he wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me up against him. I lean back and kiss him, loving the way he holds me firmly against him as if he doesn't want to let me go.
"You're so fucking beautiful when you come," he nips at my ear.
"I wish we could stay in here all night," I reach behind me placing my hand on his erection.
"Fuck, me too," he groans. "I don't want anyone to see you like this."
"We should go," I say but neither of us move.
"We should," he agrees.
"Oh," I gasp when he steps away and I realize at some point he put in the butt plug. Like in the scene last night, he had me so distracted that it came as a surprise.
"Does it hurt?" he asks.
"No," I blush but answer honestly.
He kisses me once more, his tongue dancing with mine before he pulls away. We both use the bathroom before Christian attaches the leash to the leather collar I have back on and we head out. Like before, we walk in absolutely silence following the map that was provided to Christian. We end up leaving the path we typically walk on and follow a much less worn path through the woods before we come on a large dark building with no windows. I take a deep breath, reminding myself that Kate and the other girls are the reason we're doing this as I prepare myself for what's about to come. I want to reach out to Christian, to touch him, to…just talk to him but I don't. Instead I stand there, my eyes down as he speaks with someone at the door. He leads me into a dark hallway and behind a curtain which is as we expected just as shear as the one we saw when we first arrived. This just reinforces my decision to have Christian attached the clamps…and put in the butt plug in our room. God I can't imagine doing that here knowing that people are walking by or waiting to use the space.
Christian raises my head with a finger under my chin; he mouths the word ready and I nod. I hate having the gag in; nearly as much as I hate being led around the resort by a fucking leash but not as much as I know I'm going to hate crawling around on the floor in here. I watch as he takes a deep breath before bringing the o ring to my mouth. I allow him to place it in my mouth before he tightens the straps around my head. His lips ghost over my cheek just before he takes a step back. His eyes go from me to the floor and back to me again; I sigh quietly before dropping to the floor.
"Have you reviewed the rules and expectations sir?" a woman asks Christian as soon as he opens the curtain.
"I have," he confirms.
"Please enter through here," she says. "Enjoy your play time sir."
Christian walks through the door, slowly leading me behind him. I'm surprised and thankful that the floor within the play area is cushioned, a direct contrast of the hardness in the hallway and dressing area. I fight the urge to look up, to look around the room knowing that it's imperative that we get a good look at this area.
"Mr. Thompson!" I cringe immediately recognizing that voice. "I was hoping you would come by today; I had expected you here much earlier in the day I admit."
"My sub required rest after last night's test," he says.
"I'm sure she did," I can hear the smugness in her voice. "That was an intense scene you were in. You're one of very few doms who can pass the test on the first try. You've obviously trained your sub quite well. I was not expecting her to perform as well as she did."
"She's come a long way since we arrived here," he says after a moment of silence. "I think this placed as really helped her embrace the lifestyle."
"You know, if you think she needs additional training I offer one on one sessions with subs to help them embrace the more difficult aspects of our lifestyle. I also offer consulting to couples as well-"
"Thank you, Elena," he cuts her off. "I think we'll be fine but I'll definitely keep your offer in mind."
"Wonderful, how about I show you around?"
"I'd like that."
I'm lead around like a fucking dog, which is exactly how I expected to feel. I crawl on the floor behind Christian and Elena as they walk through the area and Elena highlights the different play areas. I know I should focus on what they're saying or what's going on around me but I can't. All I can think about is that people actually like this sort of thing. They like being treated like an animal and having no say in what goes on in their lives.
Eventually they stop walking and sit down in large chairs; I have to force my instinct to stand up and sit with them knowing that my place remains here on the floor. Christian brings me closer to him, so I'm sitting at his feet. His hand is on my head, lightly stroking my hair while he talks to Elena. I might as well not even be in the room as far as they're concerned.
"The subs with the hoods covering their faces are…?" Christian asks and I fight back the shudder threatening to go through my body. I saw the hoods he's referring to and knew immediately I wouldn't be able to wear them. Some had an opening for your mouth, some didn't even have that. They had tiny openings around her nose to let air in but otherwise that was it. The ones that had an opening for your mouth typically were covered by a gag anyway.
"Those slaves are without masters," Elena explains. "They're here for anyone's use. Sometimes a dom will come without a sub, so these slaves are for their use. Other times a dom requires a second slave, so again they're here for his use."
"If they don't have a master, who owns them?"
"The resort does. The staff here ensure that all of the slaves' needs are met."
"I…I've never heard of an establishment owning a slave," Christian admits and I start to panic hoping that he hasn't tipped them off that he's not as experienced as he led them to believe.
"It's something different and unique that we offer our guests," Elena doesn't seem to blink an eye before answering. "If you're interested in using one of the slaves when you're here, you just need to notify one of the dungeon masters and she'll be released from her cuffs for you."
"Interesting…not tonight but maybe something I'll consider in the future," this time I don't hide the shudder that runs through me at his words. I know he's only saying it to pacify her and that he wouldn't share me, but just the thought has me wanting to vomit. I'm not sure which thought is more sickening at this point, him sharing me or another woman putting her hands on him.
Whether Christian sensed my unease or perhaps out of his own need, his hand drops to my neck his thumb gliding back and forth over my skin. I try to look around, to focus on anything other than the old bitch sitting next to Christian but there's only so much I can see while kneeling on the floor with my eyes focused on the floor. The entire time we're there, I'm treated as if I don't exist.
"If you'll excuse us, I think we're going to head back to our room," Christian announces after who knows how long. My legs have long since fallen asleep and are now aching from having remained in one position for too long.
"I practically talked your ear off," she giggles a fake laugh. "Will I be seeing you tomorrow?"
"I'm sure we'll be here."
"I meant to ask you, I know you weren't in a TPE arrangement when you arrived here. How is she doing adapting to it?"
"She's rather embraced it," he says. "In fact, so much so that it's something I'm considering when we leave here."
"The moment I saw you I knew you needed something more intense, that she wouldn't be enough for you…not as a newbie anyway. I didn't understand why you didn't just go after a well trained sub and instead chose to break in your own."
"I told you, I don't let getting someone else's problem. This ensures I get exactly what I want."
"I see that."
"Perhaps you'll see us tomorrow."
Christian stands and leads me from the room; back in the hallway we return to the dressing area that we were in not that long ago when we arrived. He takes my hand and helps me to stand, wrapping an arm around me when I sway at suddenly being upright again. He quickly removes the gag from my mouth and uses a tissue to clean up the embarrassing spit that was on face from it. He mouths "okay" but I don't answer. I don't know that I'm okay with anything that just happened. With how I was treated, with how I was talked about, with the images of what Christian must have seen going through my head…with any of it.
As soon as we get back to the room, Christian points to the closet where the bag that contains the transmission device is hidden. I quickly take it out and scan the main room and bathroom before confirming that nothing is transmitting in our room.
"Ana-"
"Don't," I cut him off the anger having brewed in me for far too long.
"We should talk about it-"
"We should talk about what?" I turn to face him. "Should we talk about how I was treated like a fucking animal? How I crawled around on the floor while you walked me like a fucking dog? Should we talk about how I was treated as if I didn't even exist?"
"Ana, you know it was just an act."
"I do, Christian; I know you were acting a part. But I can't wrap my mind around why the hell people want to do something like that. Why the hell would someone want to control another person so much that they take away their ability to make any and all decisions? Why would a woman want to be owned by a resort, someone they don't know and can't possibly trust, to make every decision for them?"
"Some people get off on it Ana. It's an incredible turn on for some to either have that much control over someone or to give that much control up."
"People get off on it?" I shake my head not understanding. "People get off on needing to control how they fuck a woman? To control how she acts while being fucked? Why the fuck do people need control so much in their lives? Why can't they just fuck like normal people do?"
"Like normal people do?" he hisses and it's not until I turn around that I see the hurt in his eyes which quickly changes to something much more intense.
"Christian, that's not what-"
"Do me a favor Ana, stay in the fucking room," he throws open the door and it slams against the wall behind it.
"Christian wait!"
"Stay in the fucking room!" he hisses stepping back into the room and closing the door. "Unless you want to fuck things up even more, stay in the god damn room. You take one foot outside of here without me and they're going to send us right back to level two so don't fucking leave the room."
He opens the door once again, only this time he storms out and slams the door behind him.