Disclaimer: only Tiffany Taylor and Audrey Winters are 'our' property. The rest belongs to JK Rowling.
Snape walked into his classroom to find:
Harry Potter- singing (and failing) a muggle love song to Hermione Granger
Draco Malfoy- ginger hair and freckles
Ron Weasley- blond hair and one eyebrow dyed pink
Hermione Granger- tap-dancing barefoot in Ron Weasley's jumper
Tiffany Taylor- swinging from the chandelier, doing complicated violin sonatinas (and failing miserably) with a very expensive violin that used to be Lily's
Audrey Winters- dancing en-pointe in socks along the desks so terribly that even Snape cringed
"WHAT IS HAPPENING?" he roared.
The whole group burst out laughing so hard that: Harry choked on the climax of the love song and sneezed loudly, Tiffany almost fell off the chandelier, Audrey stubbed her toe, a freckle fell off Malfoy (somehow) a pink eyebrow hair fell off Ron and Hermione slipped on some spilled water.
"What do you think you are doing, Potter and co.? is that Lily's violin? Granger! Be careful." At that, Hermione rolled her eyes as Snape snatched the violin from Tiffany, who was now trying to dance en pointe on the chandelier and somehow not hitting her head. Malfoy tried to protest. "But professor! The Gryffindors made me-" as Audrey muttered "It was the Hufflepuff who gave you ginger hair and freckles, MALfoy. You don't blame the Gryffindors for no reason."
He just huffed. Meanwhile, Hermione was commenting on how water was annoying and aggravating, and how those two words were synonyms. Snape would have none of it though, and said simply and shortly,
"Detention, all of you. In this classroom. 6:00 sharp. There are some cauldrons for you clean."
Tiffany was logically calculating the best way to remove herself. In the end, she smirked and swung herself on top of one ginger Draco Malfoy. Everyone minus him laughed.
So at 6:00, a crowd of chattering third-year students were found knocking on the potions classroom door.
An aggravated Snape sneered a greeting, ushered them in, slammed the door and left. Hermione just laughed really hard, scoffed at all the cauldrons and scourgified them all.
"******************** forgot to tell us to not use magic," scoffed Harry, Ron and Tiffany at the same time, all using different profane names for Snape, which made Hermione and Malfoy say "Guys!" or "Sheesh!"
"WHAT?" asked everyone else.
Audrey smirked that they were all extremely accurate, except that she would've gone with ********.
(A/N: we're keeping this K+, kids. Also SOMEONE was too lazy to think of a good profane name.)
"Hey, Guys!" called two identical voices from the door.
"FRED AND GEORGE?"
"MORE WEASLEYS?"
"Indeed. We have a detention too, y'know." chuckled the Twins. "Let's play that muggle game to pass the time. What was it called again? Truth or Pear?"
"Truth or Dare," corrected Audrey, Harry, Tiffany and Hermione, all at the same time. The ones who were brought up by muggles laughed uncontrollably while Malfoy looked on with a confused expression.
"Wow. You are joining this thing? You kidding me, right?" inquired Ronald.
"YUP!" screamed the others.
"Okay, Pottah, Truth or Dare?"
Audrey was determined to get some of her ships going.
"Truth."
"Dammit."
"Did you really think I would choose dare with you?"
"Okay, fair enough. If you had to kiss someone in the room, who would it be?"
"WHAT? I'M CHANGING TO DARE."
"No changing back."
"Fine."
"Kiss someone in this room."
"BUT AUDREYYYYYYYYYYYYYY."
"No buts. Actually, you know what, go snog Malfoy."
Said person screamed like a girl and person said to snog him looked like he was going to cry.
"Ooh, fancy narration."
"What are you talking about?"
"Said person screamed like a girl and person said to snog him looked like he was going to cry."
"I didn't see or hear a thing."
"Well, for some reason I see narration, or rather it appears in my head-ah you wouldn't understand."
"Fine, then. Prove it. Ask the narrators why you can sense or see narration."
"After."
"Screw you."
'Person who was gonna cry' stopped dead and turned pale white.
"Wait. Malfoy is the first person I'll have ever snogged. Oh GOD NOOOOOOO!"
"Fine, kiss Herms."
"Who's Herms?"
"Malfoy shut up."
"WHY?"
"Because I said so."
"Aud, you're badass."
(A/N: I quit)
"I know."
Harry reluctantly walked over to Hermione and was about to kiss her when Moaning Myrtle appeared out of nowhere and kissed Harry instead.
Half of his face turned into a brilliant Gryffindor red, while the other half could've been mistaken as a pale white marble column.
The room burst into applause at the half red, half white face, as Harry Potter had neither turned so red or so white before. Tiffany started to laugh hysterically and sort of patted Myrtle on the back.
Harry chose that moment to turn a bright shade of green and scream like his kneecaps were on fire.
"Anyways, Audrey. Now, you can ask the narrator why you can hear-no see, wait, SENSE narration."
Okay, uh, BookOwl, why can I sense narration?
I don't know! Ask AProudSlytherpuff! You're HER OC, not mine!
Okay then, AProudSlytherpuff, why can I sense narration?
If I am not mistaken, you are in alternate universe #387, in which Hermione is outgoing, Harry is a nerd, and you have dyslexia.
Wait, my bad. Wrong alternate universe.
What about alternate universe #388? Harry is autistic, Ron has OCD and in Ravenclaw, and wait that's not right. You don't even exist in that one.
Seriously though. In alternate universe #386, some wizard gene and some dyslexia gene had some dodgy reaction, giving you the rare gene of being able to sense narration.
I see.
(A/N: Oh my.)