Three

Olivia walked from Noah's bedroom back into her living room with a grin on her face for her soon-to-be former partner. Nick was seated on the couch, his injured leg stretched out, and a matching grin on his face as he looked over his shoulder at Olivia.

"He was asleep before his head hit the pillow," said Olivia, sitting down on the sofa beside him. "I don't know how you managed to wear him out from that spot on the sofa."

Nick shrugged, pleased with himself. "Call it a gift."

Olivia chuckled. "So, what time is your flight tomorrow?"

"Noon."

"Do you need a ride to the airport?"

Nick shook his head. "Thanks, but Amanda's doing that."

Olivia nodded, her expression carefully neutral. She knew that something had been going on between the two of them for some time, but it had never interfered with their work so she had wisely kept her mouth shut. After all, who was she to call out two partners for giving the impression of getting too close? She could only imagine the gossip that she and Elliot had generated when they had never even crossed a real boundary.

The thought of Elliot caused Olivia to lapse into silence, and it wasn't until Nick said her name and patted her shoulder that she remembered where she was. "Sorry, Nick, just…"

"Liv, what's up?" asked Nick. "Something's been on your mind since I got here."

Olivia took a deep breath and nodded, looking at her hands in her lap.

Nick let out a long sigh. "Look, Liv, if this is about Amanda –"

"No, Nick, it's not that," said Olivia. She contemplated how to start this conversation for a moment, and then she looked at him again. "I never talked about my old partner much, did I?"

Nick raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Ummm…honestly, Liv, I can't remember if you ever mentioned him at all beyond what you told me at Noah's party last week."

Olivia nodded. "Yeah. And I meant every word I said, Nick. I bring him up now because…well…"

From there, Olivia told Nick exactly what had happened at the park just two days ago. It was a relief to talk about it to someone. Her first thought as to who she would confide this in was Fin; after all, he was the only one of the squad who had been there when Elliot had been. But Nick's observation had offered an opening, and she found that she was glad for it.

When she was finished, Nick sat in silence for a minute, processing this new information. When he spoke, his voice was calm but concerned. "Wow, Liv, that's…that's a lot to take in…and out of the blue like that."

Olivia let out a breathy laugh and nodded. "In all honestly, I'm glad that Lizzie was the Stabler that I ran into out of the blue; if I had to pick one, it would have been her."

"Why?"

"Well…I think I could identify with her the most when I knew her, as a child and a teenager. She was the shy one of the family, the quiet one who never gave any trouble. Not really surprising, given that she has two older sisters and a twin brother who is so much like his father…I was a lot like her at that age."

Nick nodded. He knew the history Olivia had with her mother, and it didn't surprise him that she'd kept her head down growing up.

A little smile came to Olivia's face as she continued. "Another way we're alike is that we're both bookworms and have a love for the theatre. She just graduated from NYU with a B.A. in Theatre and a minor in English. I don't know if I ever told you this but my B.A. was the reverse: major in English, minor in Theatre."

"Oh, I'm sure you never mentioned it to me or to anybody, because we never would have stopped teasing you," said Nick, grinning as Olivia laughed in embarrassment. "Wow, Olivia, an actress…did you try to pursue that?"

Olivia shook her head. "No, not really…it was always just fun for me. By the time I graduated, I knew that the force was the path I needed to go on. But I admire Lizzie for pursuing it. She was so shy growing up, and it wasn't until she discovered performing that she really came out of her shell. Anyway, it was actually really nice to see her again, and to meet little Rosie, too."

Nick smiled. "I'm glad of that, Liv." His next words were spoken carefully, his eyes on her face. "I'm guessing it wasn't seeing Lizzie, but what could come after, that's weighing on you."

Olivia let out a long breath and rubbed her forehead. "I just…I know she's going to tell her father about this, and…I have no idea how he's going to react, what he's going to do…I'm still wrapping my mind around all of this new information about him – he's divorced, he's been living abroad, he's moved back here…Four years of complete silence and I'd finally gotten to a place where I'd accepted that he was out of my life for good. Now…I don't know."

"Let me ask you this, Liv: are you more afraid of his response, or are you afraid he won't respond at all?"

Olivia sat back on her sofa, leaning her head back against the cushion. "I've had four years of no response, so I'm prepared for that. Honestly, I don't see how he can stay silent anymore, now that I've seen Lizzie. She's sure to tell not only him but her sisters, and if they're like I remember them, I don't see them letting their father get away with completely avoiding me now. What he'll say or do…" Olivia shook her head, her forehead pinched.

A new possibility occurred to Nick. "Liv…do you want to see him again?"

It took a long time for Olivia to respond, and when she did, her voice was small. "I don't know, Nick…it's been four years and so much has happened. It's not just me anymore, I have Noah…and what I've been through that he missed…"

Nick pursed his lips and nodded, the name of William Lewis unspoken but heard nonetheless. Learning that this man had been abroad in Europe during that whole ordeal, Nick couldn't help but be a little glad that there was a reason her old partner hadn't been there for her, that he hadn't been in close proximity but chose to stay away anyway.

After a pause, Olivia resumed speaking, "I've been mulling that question over and over in my mind since seeing Lizzie…and I can't answer that yet. All I know right now is that I need answers from him, especially about why he left like that. Even if I hate the answers, I need them. After that…I guess it depends on what those answers are." She lifted her head and looked at Nick. "I'm really just trying to look at this one step at a time. Keep my mind focused on when I meet with Lizzie and talk to her about what she needs to talk about. I'll learn then if or what Elliot has to say through her."

Nick nodded. "That's smart, Liv. Let the answers come to you when they come."

Olivia couldn't help but smile ruefully at him. "You know, a part of me is surprised that you're not telling me to just tell him to go to hell and stay there."

Nick laughed. "Not gonna lie, Liv. I would love nothing more than to give this guy a good beating for what he did to you. You're the last person who deserves to have someone important disappear from your life without a word and stay away like that. But more than that, I want you to be happy. I want you to get the answers that you need, and if that leads to reconnecting with him…if that would make you happy, I'm not gonna object." He smiled. "Just to be clear, though: he does anything you don't deserve again, I'm on the next plane from California and taking him down, even with this limp."

Olivia gave him a grateful smile and squeezed his hand. "Thanks, Nick. I really appreciate you listening to me go on about this."

"Liv, don't apologize. I'm glad I can help, especially now. I hate that I'm becoming another person who's walking away from you."

"Hey, none of that," scolded Liv. "You're doing the right thing, for you and your kids. We'll miss you, but we'll be fine. And I know you'll keep in touch, so it's not the same thing at all."

"Absolutely, I will," said Nick, squeezing her hand before letting it go with a sigh. "Well, I should get back and make sure I've got everything in the right boxes."

Olivia nodded. "I'll call you a cab. I'd walk you down but I can't leave Noah."

"Of course. I'll hop in and give him one more kiss goodbye; I'll be sure not to wake him."

Olivia leaned against the doorway after she'd shut it and locked it behind her. She'd just hugged Nick goodbye, not knowing when she'd see him in person again. He'd been a good partner to her, and a necessary one. He had pushed her in many ways, most of them unconsciously, to grow, to be more than she had been with Elliot. She could never have become a sergeant and then a lieutenant had she not had the experience of partnering him.

With Elliot, she'd been content where she was. She hadn't had to grow in so many ways with him there because he did that for her. They had been two halves of the same whole. When he'd left, she'd had to learn to not just be half of something, but a whole person on her own. Partnering with Nick had been the first step in that.

Nick wasn't perfect; he was a very flawed man, but ultimately a good one. His decision to leave the force and start a new life in California with his kids was the proof of that. She would always be grateful for the part he'd played in her life.

Once, it had been Nick entering her life just after Elliot had left. Now, just like hers and Lizzie's degrees, the situation could be reversed now.

The sound of Noah waking up from his nap by crying out for her was a very welcome distraction. She hurriedly went to his room and lifted him out of his crib with soft coos. "I'm here, sweet boy," she murmured, cuddling him close.

Olivia had learned some time ago to focus on what she could do in the moment rather than what she couldn't do in the future. So, she resolved again to focus her attentions on her son and her work until she heard from Lizzie.

And if she had to remind herself of this every few minutes to keep remembering it, so be it.

A/N: I know there aren't a lot of Amaro fans out there (and honestly, I'm not one of them), but due to the fact that this takes place very soon after Olivia and Nick have that conversation about what Elliot had been to her versus what Nick had been to her, I felt it was important. Just as Nick entered when Elliot had left, now the situation is reversed (if only that was canon...)