Seven

Eight days after Olivia had confided in Fin, she called him into her office just before he was due to have his lunch break.

Seeing the expression on her face, Fin closed the door behind him before she could ask him to. "What is it, Liv?"

After a moment, Olivia unlocked a drawer of her desk and pulled out two items: a sealed envelope stuffed with at least a few folded pages, and a single sheet of paper torn from a small notepad. She held them both out to him and he took them.

The envelope had one word written on it: El. The scrap of paper had only a phone number on it.

"I didn't hold anything back, Fin," she said in a soft, hoarse voice. "About my feelings…or about what he's missed. Make sure he's prepared for that. Please."

Understanding immediately, Fin met her eyes as he stuffed both into the inside pocket of his jacket. "I'll take care of it."

"Thanks, Fin." She then sat back down at her desk and opened up a file of paperwork, letting him know he was dismissed.

Fin began dialing the number as soon as he left the building.

Elliot was walking home from the youth center when his phone began to buzz in his jeans pocket. Pulling it out, his heart skipped a beat when he saw an unfamiliar number with a Manhattan area code. Of course he hoped it was Liv. He stopped walking and answered the call. "Stabler."

The voice he heard wasn't the one he had been hoping for, but it was the next best thing.

"Hey, Stabler, it's Fin."

Elliot let out something between a breath and a laugh. "Fin! Hey, man, how are you?"

"I can't complain. Hope you don't mind me calling; Liv gave me your new number."

Elliot's heart soared upon hearing this news. "Of course I don't mind."

"Are you free to meet for lunch?"

"Absolutely, just tell me where."

Fin then gave him the name and address of a little Mexican restaurant, and Elliot told him he was on his way.

Thank God a free cab was coming towards him at that moment, or Elliot may very well have run there.

Fin was waiting for him at a booth in the back. On the way over, Elliot contemplated how Fin would react to seeing him again. He was prepared for the worst: the two had had their differences over the years, and Fin had been the one to truly bear witness to his absence from Olivia's life. Hell, he wouldn't blame Fin if he socked him on first sight after four years.

But when the two men spotted each other, Fin rose from the booth and greeted him with a calm expression and an outstretched hand. Elliot gratefully took it, and the two men shook and gave each other the kind of man hug that involved hand grasping and shoulder clapping but no embracing.

"Hey, man," said Fin.

"Hey, Fin," said Elliot.

The two slid into opposite sides of the booth. Fin looked him over and asked, "Come straight from the gym?"

Elliot realized that he was wearing sweats and a hoodie while Fin looked like he'd come straight from work. "Uh, no. I volunteer a few times a week at a boys' youth center; we were playing some basketball."

Fin gave a small smile. "That's good, man. How long have you been back in the city?"

From there, Elliot told him about how the last four years had been from him, prompted by the questions that Fin asked. He didn't hold back, either, even about his marriage dissolving or his fall into alcohol after he'd left. Elliot wanted Fin to see that he had no intention of running or hiding, and the only way he could show that now was by being completely honest and upfront.

Fin, for his part, listened to everything that Elliot told him while observing him closely and feeling the vibes coming off him. It soon became clear to him that this was not the same man he had worked with four years ago. How could he be after what he'd been through? He seemed more grounded, less mercurial, and he was certainly putting in every effort to be as open as he could. Fin had to respect that.

So, after Elliot had finished telling him about his work overseas and his current job now, Fin turned the conversation to what he knew would be a happier topic: his family. Elliot happily told him about his children, his new grandchild, and Kathy's new romance.

"I'm happy for you, man," said Fin, remembering the various dramas the Stabler family had been through that he'd witnessed.

"What about you, Fin?" asked Elliot. "How's Ken doing?"

Now it was Fin's turn to grin. "He's real good. Still fighting the good fight in social work. He's married now; his husband, Alejandro, is a good man. They're planning on starting a family, so I may be joining you in the grandfather camp soon."

Elliot smiled. "That's fantastic, Fin. And you won't be sorry, believe me. It's all the joy and none of the responsibility. We can spoil them rotten because that's literally our job."

Fin couldn't help but grin back as their food was delivered. They ate in companionable silence for a while before Elliot broke it, a solemn expression on his face. "Fin, I have to ask you…"

Fin's face immediately became guarded. He wasn't about to tell Stabler any of Olivia's business when it wasn't his place to do so.

"Has my coming back…I know she's built a new life for herself, being in charge and a mother now and…the last thing I want to do is hurt her any more than I already have."

Fin nodded, understanding what he was asking. "Liv is the strongest woman that the both of us will ever know. I think the shock of you being back in the city is tempered by reconnecting with your kids again. Honestly, I think it's better that she saw Lizzie first rather than seeing you. Softened the blow."

Those last words hit Elliot the way a blow to the face would. Fin continued.

"Look, man, I get why you had to leave and so does Liv. We were both there that day, and we knew shooting a teenage girl would weigh heavy on you. But the way you left, without a word to anyone, especially her – that's what cut the deepest. She told me she had to mourn you as if you were dead just to move on, and it took her a good minute to do that." He sighed. "But I'm not going to give you a hard time about this. I'm tempted, believe me, but I won't."

Elliot's gaze asked why. Fin answered.

"One, I'm guilty of leaving a partner behind too." He gave a brief account of his old partner, Luiz, and the trauma he'd gone through with his daughter over two years ago. Elliot listened sympathetically. "Two, Liv told me that, even after what you did, she would never not want you in her life."

Elliot let a deep and shuddering breath, in and out, fighting down the urge to cry by running a hand over his face. Fin patiently pretended not to notice. Shaking his head, Elliot said more to himself than to Fin: "I've never deserved her…"

"Nope," said Fin. "But she hasn't given up on you yet, so neither am I."

Elliot nodded at him rapidly, swallowing down his emotions. "Thank you, man," he said huskily. "I know I don't deserve any second chances, after the way I left. I certainly didn't plan on what happened…but you know how so much time has passed that you feel you can't reach out? Days turn into months turn into years…I just kept waiting for the right moment."

Fin nodded before folding his arms on the table and leaning forward, a clear sign for Elliot to listen. "Just make sure you understand this, man: Liv's the boss. I'm not talking about at SVU, I mean about this. I wouldn't be here right now if she hadn't have given me the go-ahead, and I'm sure as hell not going to tell you anything that should come from her."

With that, Fin reached inside his blazer and pulled out the envelope. Elliot's expression became so pathetically hopeful that Fin almost laughed. Thank God the poor bastard is still head over heels. But the impulse was replaced by the seriousness he knew that he needed to convey when he spoke.

Still holding the envelope in his hand, he asked Elliot, "Do you still go to meetings, man?"

Thrown by the question, Elliot blinked and nodded. "It's gotten a lot better, but there's still the occasional hard day."

Fin nodded. "Make sure you know where the nearest one is before you read this. There's a lot that she's been through in the past four years, and she didn't hold back about anything."

Elliot went pale, his eyes never leaving the envelope. Fin then set it down, pulled out his standard tiny notebook, and wrote down his number. Tearing out the page, he handed it and the envelope to Elliot. "Give me a call if you need to, man."

Elliot nodded, looking down at the envelope in his hands. Though only a two-letter word was written on it, he'd know her handwriting anywhere. El. Not his full name, but his nickname, just as he'd written her nickname on his letter. Fin's warnings were sending chills throughout his body. Learning about her promotions and her son, Elliot had taken those facts as reassurance that she'd been not only fine, but had thrived, without him. And while that was still true, it clearly wasn't the whole story. And if Fin was warning him to the extent of recommending a meeting afterwards…

Finally, Elliot looked up and met Fin's eyes. "Thank you, Fin," he said sincerely. "Really. I mean, you have every right to tell me to go to hell, and not just for Liv's sake. We've had our differences and sometimes I've been a…what did you call it…a 'lousy human being' when it comes to you."

Fin waved a hand dismissively. "We'll always have our differences, Elliot. But I've always respected you as a cop, and you're a good man more often than a lousy human being. Even leaving the way you did, you were put through it and thought it was the right thing to do. Plus, it seems like you've matured a bit since I last saw you, and you seem willing to face up to your mistakes and make amends."

"Whatever it takes," said Elliot solemnly.

"Good. Because Liv still needs you, and she's never stopped missing you. Plus, I'm relieved to see that you're still as in love with her now as you were then."

The look Fin gave him was a warning to not bother denying his words. Four years ago, Elliot absolutely would have ignored that look and vehemently dodged the fact. But now, he gave Fin the final proof that he needed to trust him again by saying:

"That's never going to change, Fin. But like you said: she's the boss. I'll do whatever she needs me to do."

Fin grinned at him, and Elliot grinned back. Both knew that they were cool with each other.

When Fin walked back into the precinct, he spotted Olivia speaking with Amanda Rollins at her desk. Their eyes met across the room, and Fin just gave her a meaningful look and nod.

Olivia visibly gulped, nodded back, and turned her full attention back to Amanda. She had written her phone number on the bottom of the final page of the letter. Now all she had to do was wait – and hope that he wouldn't come rushing to find her at the precinct.

A/N: I'm going to tell you guys now that I'm not going to write out Olivia's letter the way I did Elliot's. I don't feel like I have to - seasons 13-16 of SVU tell that story. All you need to know is what Olivia tells Fin and Fin tells Elliot: she didn't hold back about anything, just like Elliot didn't in his letter, about what happened or how she felt and is feeling. So Elliot's about to learn what we all had to witness...