Fourteen

The cab ride to Elliot's apartment was spent in silence. As it was during the show, they never let go of each other's hand. They were silent when they arrived at his building and while they rode the elevator up. Only when they were inside his apartment did Elliot let go of her hand so that he could lock the door and turn on the lights.

Olivia looked around, taking in the sight of his new home. "This suits you," she said, waving a hand around the living room. "How much did the girls help you?"

Elliot smiled at her light teasing. "Quite a bit. I'm glad you like it."

Olivia nodded, and silence fell again. Elliot was restraining himself; again, it was taking all he had not to crush her to him. Olivia broke the silence. "Do you have something I could change into? I'd rather not sleep in this dress."

"Oh, yeah, sure," said Elliot, relieved that he had a task to do. He motioned for her to follow him. He led her down a short hallway, past the guest bedroom where Eli slept on his nights over, and into his bedroom and adjoining bathroom. She stood in the doorway while he dug through his dresser for a T-shirt and pair of sweatpants. He held them out to her and nodded towards the bathroom. "Go right ahead, make yourself comfortable."

"Thanks, El," said Olivia, taking the T-shirt. "But I won't need those sweatpants on a hot August night. The shirt is more than enough."

Elliot could only nod, not trusting his voice to not crack like a fourteen-year-old. Again, though, she spoke without any hint of ulterior motives.

Olivia then went into the bathroom. Once the door was shut, Elliot practically ripped off his blazer and kicked off his shoes. He forced himself to remove the rest of his clothes more slowly, and he put them away with care. He certainly wasn't going to make a mess now. He then put on the pair of sweatpants he'd offered Olivia. Normally, he slept without a shirt on, but he wasn't going to make her uncomfortable. So he put on a white tank and sat on his bed to wait for her.

When ten minutes had passed since she'd gone into the bathroom, and he didn't hear the sound of the shower running, Elliot got up and went to the closed door. Knocking gently, he called, "Liv? You ok in there?"

"Yeah," Olivia called back, but something was wrong. The tone of her voice was strained, desperately trying to be casual and failing.

"Liv, what's wrong?" asked Elliot, his worry rising.

"Just…please give me a minute, El. I promise I'm fine."

He really wanted to go in there, but Elliot knew better. He huffed a sigh and said, "I'll be counting the seconds."

The sound of her chuckling reassured him somewhat, and he went back to his bed and sat on the edge of it.

True to her word, Olivia came out after a minute had passed. Elliot immediately stood up. Needing to distract himself from the sight of her body wearing only his shirt (which thankfully landed at her mid-thigh), Elliot looked at her face. His breath caught at the expression of vulnerability on her face and the tears in her dark eyes.

His mind went back four-and-a-half years to the day Sonya Paxton had died. How he'd found Olivia walking away looking completely wrecked. The same expression was on her face now.

Thankfully, his body responded the best possible way: he held his arms out to her, and she immediately rushed into them. Olivia buried her face in his chest and clung to him, and Elliot finally held her as tightly to him as he had the two other times he'd held her in his life. When he felt moisture seep through his tank top, he rubbed her back with one hand and stroked her hair with another.

"You're here…you're really here…"

Her broken words broke his heart, and tears of his own fell into her hair. "I will never leave you again, Liv. I promise you."

He felt her take a deep, shuddering breath and he kissed her head. When he felt her loosen her arms around him a bit, Elliot cupped her face, lifted it, and kissed her forehead, nose, cheeks and eyes (he avoided her mouth because he still remembered that she was the boss here). She let out a long, calm breath and pressed her forehead to his, her eyes shut. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be sorry, Liv," said Elliot. "Do you want me to take you home?"

"No!" she said quickly, clutching his tank top. "It's not that, El. It's…when I was changing, I remembered…"

"Remembered what?" Elliot asked, still cradling her face.

Her face grimaced as if preparing for a hit. "My scars…from…I've gotten to the point where looking at them doesn't…but after everything that's happened…being here with you and seeing them just –"

"Liv," Elliot gently interrupted her. "I understand why you would still doubt me, but do you honestly believe that I'm the type of guy who would ever reject you for that? That I wouldn't see each scar as a mark of your strength and how that makes you even more beautiful?"

Olivia shook her head as she took his hands from her face so she could hold them to her chest. "No…but seeing them reminded me of how much time has passed, how much happened, and how everything is different now…" Meeting Elliot's eyes, she spoke with a new strength in her voice. "But none of that should stop us anymore. Whatever happens between us, El, I don't want the past to hold us back. Not what I've been through and not the choices you made. Can we try to do that?"

Elliot nodded. "Yeah, Liv. I know I'll screw it up from time to time, but I'm really going to try. Not having you in my life was hell, and I never want to go back to that again."

"Good," said Olivia. "Because as much as you say how strong I am for going through everything I've gone through…I could not survive you walking away a second time."

"Never again," Elliot vowed. "I love you. With all of my heart, Olivia Benson. I always have, and I always will."

Hearing how choked with emotion his voice was, and seeing how his blue eyes were burning, Olivia's soul breathed out a sigh of relief and peace. "I love you, too, El."

Elliot shut his eyes and more tears fell out. Now it was Olivia's turn to kiss away his tears. Unlike Elliot, though, she didn't avoid his mouth. Once their lips connected, their arms came around each other as they poured all of their heart into this act that was seventeen years in the making. Only the need to breathe for both of them brought the kiss to an end eventually.

Resting her face on his shoulder, Olivia sighed. "Oh, wow…" she mumbled.

Elliot chuckled and said, "Tell me about it." Feeling how she was leaning against him, Elliot rubbed her back. "Ready to get some sleep?"

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, I'm…it's been quite an evening."

Smiling, Elliot kissed her temple and reluctantly let her go. As he walked to the door of the bedroom, Olivia asked, "Where are you going?"

He paused and looked over his shoulder at her. "Well, to turn out the lights in the living room, use the bathroom, and then…make up the couch for myself." He couldn't help but blush a little. "I-I didn't want to presume anything, Liv."

A soft smile appeared on Olivia's face and her eyes sparkled. She stepped closer to him and held his face in her hands. After kissing him softly, she said, "Thank you, but I didn't come here with the intention of sleeping in your bed or on your couch alone."

Unable to speak for fear of choking up, Elliot took her hands and kissed her palms before reluctantly leaving the room.

Olivia was lying on her back on the right side of the bed when Elliot came in from the bathroom. He had to grin. "How'd you know which side of the bed was mine?"

She smirked at him and pointed to the left bedside table. "You wouldn't keep a picture of your granddaughter on the table further away from you."

His grin grew as he switched off the light and climbed into bed beside her, lying on his side to look at her. "You caught me, Lieutenant."

She turned on her side and faced him. "I have?" she joked, though her eyes were bright in the darkness.

Elliot took one of her hands and pressed it over his heart. "Completely."

Olivia shut her eyes, letting out a long sigh. When she opened her eyes, she spoke so softly that Elliot felt more than heard her words.

"I need us to go one day at a time, El…I meant it when I said I don't want our past to hold us back, but it's going to take me some time to completely forgive you and trust you again…to be intimate and…to truly believe you're here and that…you're mine."

Elliot scooched closer to her, still holding her hand to his chest. "I know I've got a lot to make up for, and a lot of bridges to rebuild. But I'm not just in this for one night, Liv, and I'll go however fast or slow you need me to go. And each day as it comes, for as long as you let me, I will try to prove to you that I am all in, heart and soul, with you."

Slowly, Olivia nodded, smiling a hint of a smile. Then, she gently pushed against his chest and he laid on his back. His heart soared when she scooched closer and rested against him, and he happily wrapped his arms around her.

No more words needed to be spoken that night. Olivia drifted to sleep first, a peaceful smile on her face. Elliot held out a little longer, savoring this moment of finally being with her like this, and said a silent prayer of gratitude before finally succumbing to sleep himself.

When Olivia woke up, she knew immediately that she was alone in the bed. Her eyes flew open in panic, but then she remembered that she was in his bed at his apartment. Then, she spotted a folded note on the pillow next to hers. Though she had to squint a bit to read it without her glasses, she smiled when she read the message.

I'm in the kitchen making breakfast. Spare toothbrush is in the bathroom. Love, El

After having a luxuriant stretch in the bed, Olivia got up and went to the bathroom to take care of herself. Once that was done, Olivia tiptoed out of the bedroom down the hall. She wanted to get a glimpse of Elliot before he saw her.

Peeking around the corner into the kitchen, Olivia smiled. Elliot was turned mostly away from her, wearing the same clothes he slept in and standing at the stove. She inhaled and smelled eggs and coffee. Not wanting to startle him while he was at the stove, she softly cleared her throat. Elliot turned his head and grinned at the sight of her. "Morning, sunshine," he said, his eyes twinkling.

Olivia grinned. "How many times have we said that to each other?" she asked as she walked towards him.

"Too many to count," said Elliot, returning his attention to the eggs he was scrambling. "But each time I said it to you, I wished that it were in a setting like this."

Olivia chuckled as the coffee maker beeped. She poured each of them a cup. "You still take yours black?" asked Olivia.

"Yep, thanks," said Elliot. "Just leave it by the maker, I'll grab it when I'm done here." He then looked over his shoulder at Olivia so that he could watch her reaction to the coffee.

It didn't disappoint. As she sipped, her eyes widened and then shut in pure pleasure. "Oh, my God, is this coffee?" she asked him.

"You've been a cop too long, Benson," he said. "When you've lived in Italy for a while, you learn what real coffee is and you can never go back to what America passes as coffee."

"No kidding," said Olivia, taking another sip. "Do you have this shipped from Italy?"

"No. I get it from this great bistro in Brooklyn run by two Italian immigrants. It's a trip, but it's worth it." The toaster oven behind them beeped. "Could you get the toast?"

"Sure."

An easy familiarity fell over the two of them as they put their breakfast together and sat at the kitchen island. This felt like home to Olivia, a feeling she'd only gained after bringing Noah home for the first time. Elliot felt like dancing for joy at the sight of her eating breakfast in his kitchen – still wearing only his shirt – with her previously curled hair rumpled from sleep.

Olivia spoke first as they ate. "What did you think of the show last night?"

Elliot let out a long breath. "I'm prouder of Lizzie than I can say. She did a great job. I won't pretend that I wish the show wasn't so heavy, though."

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, that play is not easy, then or now."

A playful twinkle entered Elliot's blue eyes when he spoke again. "Thankfully, Lizzie prepared me for it."

"How?" asked Olivia curiously. "When she took you to see Romeo and Juliet?"

"Not only that. She also did a little detective work on you and sent me some pictures."

Olivia froze and narrowed her eyes at him. "Pictures?"

"Turns out your alma mater keeps a great archive of past theater productions, Liv," he said in a matter-of-fact tone with laughing eyes.

Olivia groaned and let her face fall to the countertop. "Oh, God…" she groaned. "You saw those?"

Elliot nodded, grinning. "I gotta say, Liv…it was amazing to see you like that, and in two such different roles. I don't need to have seen those shows to see that you were good."

"Oh, hush," muttered Olivia as she lifted her head again.

"Did you never think of trying to pursue an acting career, like Lizzie?" asked Elliot curiously.

Olivia sighed and rested her cheek upon her hand. "A little. I loved being able to be other people, if only for a little while. But it was doing Measure for Measure, that role of Isabella, that decided it for me. With what she goes through and my past…I knew this was what I was meant to do."

Elliot nodded. Seeing her with her cheek resting on her hand, Elliot remembered his favorite picture from the archives: her as Juliet on the balcony, looking up and leaning her cheek on her hand. "You know," said Elliot, remembering. "Lizzie told me that she could see some similarities between you and Juliet."

Olivia smiled a small smile. "Well, that's very kind of her. People who don't know the play just think of Juliet as this naïve, love-sick teenager. But while she may be love-sick, she's not stupid or naïve. Innocent yes, but also very smart and level-headed."

Elliot, remembering the play, slowly nodded. "Yeah, I see that…that balcony scene. Romeo's more than ready to sweep her away but she's the one who tells him they have to get married first."

Olivia laughed, nodding enthusiastically. "Yes! Even though she's absolutely in love, she never loses her head or acts rashly – except at the end, when she's lost him. You can't say that for poor Romeo."

Elliot smiled and took her hand. "Then Lizzie was absolutely right in saying you two were similar." He then rolled his eyes. "She then teased me by saying I was like Romeo, probably because she knew how head-over-heels I am for you. Now I can see it's because he's the screw-up in the relationship."

Olivia squeezed his hand before he could get too down on himself. "It's more than that, Elliot. Though I don't know if Lizzie thought of this, you have more important things in common with Romeo."

Intrigued, Elliot asked, "Like what?"

"Well, for one, he's impulsive and a bit of a hot-head but he's not cruel. The war between the two families, he never takes a part in that, even before he meets Juliet. When he kills Tybalt, it's in reaction to Tybalt killing his best friend, not because he can. Also…" Olivia blushes. "Romeo can't feel anything by halves, especially love. When he loves…he loves completely…like Juliet."

Just as Elliot got up with the intention of pulling Olivia in for a passionate kiss, he was stopped by the sound of a phone ringing. Recognizing the ringtone, Olivia hurried to her clutch bag that she had left on the sofa when she'd arrived and pulled out her phone. Seeing that it was Fin, she answered it in her official tone, knowing that he wouldn't be calling just to find out how her evening was – he would do that in person.

"You got something, Fin?"

"Yeah. Two teenage girls that were reported missing last week just turned up with clear signs of assault and spotty memories."

Olivia sighed. "Text me the hospital where they've been sent, and I'll get there as soon as I can. In the meantime, you and Rollins talk to them and see what you can find out."

"Got it, Lieutenant. See you later."

Hanging up, Olivia looked apologetically at Elliot. But before she could open her mouth, he held up a hand and said reassuringly, "I get it, Liv. Go get dressed, I'll clean this up."

She flashed him a grateful smile before rushing back to his bathroom to change.

Olivia came out a few minutes later in the dress and shoes she'd worn last night. "I have to stop by home and change first, update Lucy and all that. I'll text you later."

Elliot walked her to the door. "Don't worry about it, Liv. You know I understand this life better than most."

The two then leaned in together and shared a long, tender kiss, savoring it for as long as it could last and rejoicing in the fact that they could do this now. When Olivia pulled away, she traced his cheek with her fingertips before speaking in a voice overflowing with love.

"Thank you, El. For everything."

Elliot caught her hand in his and again pressed it to his pounding heart that was completely hers. "Thank you for taking a chance on us, Liv."

Then he let her go, but they smiled as they parted. They knew that this was just the beginning.

A/N: All that's left is a little epilogue, and I'll post it at some point tomorrow. Let me know what you think! Also, if you haven't, read Shakespeare's 116th sonnet; I made it the title for a reason.