Note to readers: I'll be using a few of the quarian cultural/physiological concepts presented originally in Calinstel's 'To Survive' series. There will be significant differences, however it would be inappropriate not to give credit where it's due. While this author has removed their fanfiction series from their account, there are multiple reposts here on this website!

Freedom's Progress, 2185

Breathe, gather your bearings and focus. If you lose focus, if you start panicking, you're going to make mistakes. The breathlessness, the sound of air escaping his helmet, his hands furtively clawing at his mask in an attempt to grasp the remaining oxygen. The last images in his mind before waking up in a hospital bed were a haze of red and orange, undoubtedly the heat from atmospheric re-entry. Many soldiers throughout the generations, and of every known sapient species, have difficult memories to reconcile. Few, however, have a memory of their own death in their conscious.

Commander John Shepard, the first human Spectre, and the savior of the Citadel, was deep in thought staring at the data pad. He had been trying to make sense of his meeting with the head of Cerberus along with… well, everything else that had occurred since his awakening. The technology embedded in his body was cutting edge, and mostly experimental; his mind seemed to be the only part of his body unmodified by the procedures sans a new biotic implant and amp. Everything they put into my body was either to make me a more effective soldier, or help me survive what would be a lethal wound beforehand... bioengineered tissue? Joint reinforcements? How the hell did they pull this off without my body rejecting these implants? After the numerous Cerberus experiments he'd shut down, they also seemed to be an illogical source for his new lease on life. Knowing this, Shepard had demanded a medical report prior to any semblance of cooperation, vividly recalling how Saren had also received extensive cybernetic advancements and how the former Spectre's life ended. The Illusive Man at least appeared to sympathize with his situation, and had provided the information without arguing.

Doing his best to at least get stop focusing on the medical aspects of his current situation, his mind instead approached a few other unpleasant topics. Two years, billions of credits, and the backing of a terrorist organization to thank. He frowned at the thought, wondering how the hell he was going to deal with the situation. At this moment, perhaps it was misguided gratitude, but the data pad on his medical procedures and implants had been enough to at least get him to agree to scout the colony with the two operatives he'd met on the station. Not sure why I agreed, even with the information he provided about the colonies. Why would the Alliance and Council simply ignore this kind of threat? Is it really just because they're in the Terminus systems? The Illusive Man had added an accusation that the Alliance and Council had buried his evidence, something he would need to personally confirm. They have to be at least doing... something? Councilor Anderson and Sparatus are both veterans, and should know preparing for an enemy, even if it never comes to be, is better than getting caught unprepared. While the Spectre had no love for Cerberus, their cigarette smoking leader had been correct on one statement. The Reapers were still coming, and it was up to him to stop them. If I can work on getting Cerberus into the right team, they could be an asset when the Reapers invaded. Any organization with the amount of resources they put into me alone could help immensely...if they can stop being a terrorist organization. Is this the goal? Try to make nice with terrorists? He bristled internally at the thought. Maybe it is...I'm not sure yet...

The male Cerberus operative's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Orders, commander?" Jacob was inspecting his Avenger rifle, giving it a final one over before use. The colony the Illusive Man mentioned was approaching, and now was the time to switch into his leadership mode. Miranda engaged the shuttle's autopilot, and entered the main area where the other two had been seated.

Enemies may still be at the site, though previous encounters suggest this is unlikely. Shepard met both of their gazes before speaking with an authoritative tone. "Primary objective is to locate survivors. Anyone here can give us a rundown of what happened, but they could be in shock. Don't push them. The secondary objective, keep a lookout for evidence. Datapads, gunshots, structural damage. We don't know what we're dealing with here."

Jacob replied his affirmative, and Miranda spoke while adding thermal clips to her belt. "Commander Shepard, no survivors have been found in the previous colonies." Shepard was about to respond, as the woman seemed willing to ignore his command. He paused as she grabbed a few pouches of extra medigel, handing some to Jacob and offering some to the commander, which he accepted. "However, a first hand account of the events would welcome. I'll be able to hack any security footage as well." Definitely not military history, but at least she's listening so far.

Satisfied that they understood the plan, he inspected his two new...alllies. Two of us look ready for a confrontation, while she looks like she's about to head to Chora's Den. He voiced his thoughts on their current battle readiness, remaining neutral for the first part. "Jacob's a biotic, and after the mess on station, seems to know his way around a rifle as well." The man nodded in return, and the commander addressed Miranda with clear displeasure in his tone. "I don't know why the hell you're dropping into a combat zone without armor, but if we work together that's going to change." The woman quirked an eyebrow, but he continued. "Cerberus or not, if you're on my squad you're my responsibility." He let the words sink for a brief moment. "Aside from that, what training do you have?"

Miranda sat down, lifting out her arm for a moment as an azure glow appeared. "I've received thorough biotic combat training, as well as expertise in hacking and cyberwarefare programming. Cerberus has also provided me with extensive weapon's training."

Even operatives that work behind enemy lines have some sort of armor. Shepard nodded, knowing he would address the situation again before another mission. He only briefly paused in thought before ordering. "Jacob and I will take point. You'll scout for hostiles and provide biotic support. Do not engage until my signal. Got it?"

Jacob replied instinctively, before returning to his omnitool. "Yes sir." Alliance through and through, not sure why the hell he's working for Cerberus.

Miranda answered only a moment afterwards. "Yes commander." Her calm demeanor was off-putting to most, though Shepard could appreciate that she would likely remain collected under pressure. Hopefully, we don't have to test that theory though.

The shuttle landed soon after, Shepard and Jacob taking the lead out while Miranda followed. The trio scanned nearby buildings, and entered each and every one. Regardless of external appearances, they searched the complexes for any information. This process was repeated for any building along their pathway, which made the mission a meticulous endeavor. The homes looked abandoned mid use, often with televisions still on, albeit their displays were static due to communications loss. Food was on tables, and one home even had a shower still on, which had prompted a careful though eventually unneeded slower approach.

Might as well get some answers sooner rather than later. Shepard inquired as they exited their fifth empty housing complex. "The Illusive man didn't mention my crew." "Either of you have any intel on what happened?"

Jacob kept formation, scouting with his Avenger with trained motions as he quickly answered. "Seventeen Alliance losses Commander, including your XO. All of your non-commissioned crew made it out."

Shepard exhaled calmly, trying to release some of the built up tension about the day's… revelations. "Anything else? Hostiles were unknown, and they tore through the Normandy's shields like they didn't exist."

Miranda's armor was lacking, but her experience in dangerous situations seemed to be sufficient. She hadn't broken formations, and had only begun her door hacking once the coast was confirmed clear. She answered. "We aren't entirely sure. The rescue team found no traces of enemy activity when recovering the survivors, and none of the crew had been able to provide enough information to identify it. The data from the wreckage only agreed with your assessment, their weapons were highly advanced."

The female operative had been dutifully using her omnitool to acquire information after opening the locked doors, although it seemed the security cameras in this area hadn't stored any useful information. In fact, most of the security data had been completely wiped from the servers. They were able to patch into the local network in a security hub, acquiring access to local cameras. As they were about to approach another housing unit, Miranda spoke relatively quietly. "Shuttle approaching, five hundred meters ahead."

Shepard gestured the group into the previous empty housing module, knowing it already had been scanned as clear. He asked in a near whisper. "Did they hail us?"

The group shuffled in rather quickly, while Miranda softly answered. "No commander, our shuttle has a jamming program. They'd need to see it, and assume it landed after the colony went dark."

Smart thinking, really need to keep track of these situations better. Well, at least the minor details. Bit rusty on these silent recon operations. Let's see who we're dealing with. He glanced in her direction and asked. "Can you get a visual?" The woman nodded, plugging commands into her omnitool as a 3D screen materialized from it, showing the shuttle's occupants exiting from multiple camera angles.

Surprisingly, a group of fully suited individuals ran out of the shuttle, though in an orderly fashion. The style of the suits and tinted visors gave away their species. Shepard mused aloud, pushing back the thoughts of Tali quickly came to mind. "Quarians? What are they doing here?" A small frown escaped him, though it continued to be hidden by his helmet. He was remembering it had been two years since the young engineer had somehow found a soft spot in the stoic Alliance commander. I'll figure out how to contact her soon enough. Hell, this group might even be helpful for that if we can make contact.

His thoughts were abruptly concluded as Miranda answered his question. "There was a quarian pilgrim on the colony according to records, one Veetor'Nara." She'd assumed he was thinking of a logical reason why they'd be in town, and she was partially correct. She added. "They must be here to retrieve him. If the quarian survived the attack, he may have a first hand report of how the situation unfolded."

Reasonable, though with the communication blackout I'm not sure how he got a message across. Must have gotten it out before all of the com buoys were disabled. So we both might have the same target. We can interview the pilgrim, and snag a copy of any records he might have. They'll likely be nervous to work with outsiders, but hopefully they don't recognize the Cerberus logo on those two. We get useful data, and they get a report that a human squad helped return one of their people. Sounds like a win/win scenario. Shepard commanded as he pointed towards the building the other squad had entered. "We'll need to make contact immediately. I don't want friendly fire, and Miranda confirmed we have the same objective. We'll see if the pilgrim can provide any useful information."

The quarian shuttle hadn't landed far from their current position; even accounting for their defensive advance, they were able to approach their location relatively quickly. The commander focused with practiced precision once they were outside of the door, bringing up a biotic barrier around his frame. They can do the same to themselves, don't want to waste energy on a biotic bubble if I don't have to. The blue hue sparkling around his body contrasted with the reds on the Blood Dragon armor set. Opening the door on a foreign squad went as well as one could expect, as multiple rifles immediately pointed at him and the two operatives accompanying him.

Before Shepard could speak, a male quarian stepped forward and angrily demanded. "Stop right there!" His gun was aimed straight at Jacob's chest. Thankfully, the biotic followed his lead, and also was shimmering with a biotic barrier to support his shields. Both operatives behind him had already lifted their weapons in return, though Shepard's Vindicator remained at his back.

A female quarian spoke up, and Shepard was startled at how familiar it sounded. "Prazza you said you would let me handle this!" Do quarian voice emitters make their voices sound similar through the translator?

The male quarian responded angrily, his glowing eyes focusing on Jacob. "I'm not taking any chances with Cerberus!" Well, so much for them not recognizing the logo. How do the quarians know about a human terrorist organization, though? If this is the case, I'll need to scrub the logo from any armor and weapons we take on missions. I can't work with diplomacy if they see me as a threat before I even speak. However, his mind returned to the the quarian woman who spoke. Her head piece looked very familiar as well, basically identical to what Tali used to wear. The realks are based on familial ties, though I didn't discuss coloration with Tali. Still, maybe they'll have some news about her?

The woman in question turned to speak, but Shepard beat her to the punch. He motioned towards her in a nonthreatening way, and inquired. "Are you a part of the Zorah clan ma'am?" That'd be one hell of a stroke of luck.

The quarian's eyes widened in surprise, and her shotgun immediately lifted pointing at him as well. "Who are you human?"

Shepard's eyes focused on the gun, a heavily modified Sokolov X shotgun. The same style of gun and the highest quality version he'd purchased for Tali near the end of their mission, and the same gun that put the killing blow into Saren's form. While Tali had received a few different shotguns from multiple manufacturers throughout the hunt for Saren, the one in the quarian's hands in front of him was the extraordinarily difficult to acquire model X. The Sokolov was expensive, and often only available to select individuals. Considering the X model was the newest release, it was both the most expensive as well as the most effective. Not to mention the thing cost a small fortune, at least two years ago. Still, can it be? Really? His view returned to the woman above, her eyes now narrowed in slits of what he could surmise was anger. I don't think this is possible, but… is that really her?

Normandy SR-1, 2183

Shepard left his room unable to rest. 03:00 wasn't as meaningful aboard a ship, but ships usually tied their clocks to their destination to prepare passengers. Ever since the mission on Feros a few months ago, he'd found himself having difficulty relaxing. The images from the Cipher almost taunting him from the respite of rest, instead moving their horrendous details into the forefront of his mind. It was a pretty shitty start to the hunt for Saren, though the information was incredibly valuable.

Surprisingly, he noticed a lone occupant in the mess, a grateful mood washing over him knowing just who it was. He sat across from the suited woman who seemed lazily focused on her omnitool. Her normally vibrant eyes appeared half-awake. "Having trouble sleeping Tali?"

Tali replied wearily, confirming his initial observation. "Oh hey Shepard." She seemed to perk up at his entrance, and quickly stretched her back. After a brief pause, she continued. "Unfortunately, you are correct. I have been thinking about the geth data."

He knew this conversation was coming ever since she'd retrieved the data from the base a couple of days ago, though a slight smirk did reappear at her nervously asking if he'd give her a copy. The data that she singlehandedly was able to secure before the internal programs wiped it. Although the geth incursion was secondary to their mission against Saren, after Feros, then recovering Liara T'soni from the prothean ruins, their leads had gone cold. Never entirely idle, the team had helped Wrex with a personal mission during the interlude before the call came from Admiral Hackett. The geth invasion at the Armstrong Nebula was seen as a possible lead, though nothing linking the force to Saren was located. Raw geth data, however, was valuable regardless of the dead end. As much as he hated saying it, Shepard asked with slight trepidation. "I understand Tali. Is it time for you to complete your pilgrimage?"

Her eyes opened widely in surprise. "What? No Shepard! Not yet at least." She stood, getting up to bring a data pad beside him. He wasn't sure why she came to sit by him, but wasn't going to complain. "I was seeing if I could ship it physically, but these companies seem less than trustworthy. It would be too easy to lose or corrupt data of this amount through an extranet connection" Those silver eyes hinted at her smirk as she coyly added. "I have seen you try to hack Shepard, I do not think the Normandy could afford enough omnigel for the missions without me."

From such a nervous little bundle, to the brazen little quarian in front of him, the mission had definitely changed her. Shepard replied with a wide grin. "I'm glad you have so much faith in me Tali. The crew of the Normandy, conquered by a few locked doors."

She giggled in response, the light tone that seemed to always cause the Spectre to wonder just what the hell his mind was doing to him. Although he adored the sound, his mind kept trying to convince him of his emotions, his logic kept prevailing. The magnitude of obstacles always preventing his free thoughts on the matter. He had to admit, it had been curiosity about her species that intrigued him when she first came aboard. Quarians weren't terribly common outside of their fleet, and learning about them was a curiosity. However, Shepard had been forced to admit at some point, it'd been because of one specific quarian. The suited engineer cheerfully responded. "It is okay Shepard, you could always just knock them down. Wrex would approve."

They had done exactly that on Wrex's mission to retrieve his armor, in fact. Multiple times actually. This was something he would most certainly not be admitting to her, however. Deciding to avoid his technological aptitude, or lack thereof, he asked her with genuine curiosity. "Don't you have to be there to present the gift to a captain to complete your pilgrimage?" Perhaps he hadn't been paying enough attention to her explanation?

Her head tilted to the right slightly, what he'd come to learn as a smile as she retorted. "Yes, normally a pilgrim offers their gift to a captain of a ship with available space, and if accepted, they become crew of the accepting Captain's ship. However, in some cases the pilgrim may request Vasalran. The pilgrim delays returning to the fleet until they complete their tasks outside of the flotilla, but the offering is given to help the quarian people without hesitation. If the offering is data, the pilgrim may even request it in absence."

He couldn't help but return her smile. They'd be helping her people, and retaining her technical prowess on board. Kaiden was pretty talented, and Garrus was okay with combat tech, but none of them could come close to this quarian engineer's mastery of technology. He cheerfully replied. "We're just waiting for a lead from the Council for now Tali. If you've got the fleet's coordinates, we can get that sorted out right away. The Normandy can get there faster than any other ship, and you'd be able to hand it off personally. Just uhh, make sure they don't fire on us okay?"

A gloved hand appeared on top of his, and his eyes followed to the owner. His azure eyes meeting her two glowing orbs as she hesitantly confirmed. "Are you sure? I can keep looking for a dif-"

Shepard gently interrupted her. "Tali without you, none of us would have known that data even existed. The Alliance has their copy, and if there's something that can help your people then getting it to them immediately is a priority." He glanced down, noticing the slender three fingered hand remained on top of his. His nervousness immediately increased, though he kept his body from tensing at the unexpected, though not unwelcome, touch.

She nodded, finally lifting her hand after a long moment before typing into her omnitool. The fleet wasn't terribly far, only a few days of travel according to the coordinates she sent him. When he looked up from the message, she answered softly, holding his gaze. "Thank you Shepard. The pilgrimage means a lot to me, and my people. You did not hesitate to offer assistance to help." She paused before adding tenderly. "You hold the title of captain in actions, regardless of your species differences in military ranking." He wasn't sure how she could express herself so well with just her eyes, though he'd garnered a large amount of experience reading them.

Of course, he had to reply with his own shitty joke to defuse his thoughts. "Well, don't thank me yet miss Zorah. This captain still has an order for when we're done on the fleet. There's still geth out there in dire need of some explosive diplomacy, and I think I'll need the talents of a quarian engineer to help us through it."

Her giggle yet again, the one sound he's noticed makes him feel.. better. Her eyes and voice softened; for any human woman, hell even an asari, all of the night's charades would be much easier to interpret. "You lead Shepard, and I'll follow."

Freedom's Progress, 2185

Shepard growled the order, noticing that the two were pointing their weapons at his closest friend. "Weapons down, out of the room. Now."

Jacob lowered his Avenger as demanded, though he took a careful step towards him as he questioned. "Commander?" Shepard nodded sharply once, and thankfully the man had enough training to accept the confirmation. No further orders were needed to convince the man as he went backwards, his barrier remaining up the entire time.

The female Cerberus operative, however, decided to investigate the matter further as she perused. "Commander, is this really a wi-"

She needs to learn when the fuck to add her opinion, and when to shut up and follow an order. He interrupted the woman, and authoritatively demanded. "Miranda I said get out of the damn room, now. Cover the door."

The woman didn't respond, but he saw her frame leave, and waited for the doors to close. Holy shit Lawson, you really need to learn how to take a damn order. Still, the commander pondered if this was really the wisest idea as in front of him, multiple rifles were aimed at his direction. The modified Sokolov X was still facing his chest, though the woman seemed confused at the situation. Maybe she recognizes my voice? Really glad I didn't try out their heavy armor set, though. As nice as the specs were, the damned logo was all over it. Shepard looked directly at the quarian woman's eyes, hoping his intuition was correct in this situation. He couldn't hide the incredulous tone in his question. "Tali'Zorah nar Rayya? Actually it's vas Neema now I'd assume. Is that really you?"

Her shotgun wavered a bit as did her voice, but she answered with trepidation. "I.. I'm not going to ask you again. Who are you?"

I don't know how the hell this happened, but if it's really her...she needs a leap of faith. He took a deep breath, lowered his biotic barrier, and took off his helmet. The female quarian lowered her weapon, and her eyes widened. Her body seemed a statue, as if she wasn't unable to comprehend what her eyes were showing. After a tense moment, she finally spoke. Her voice cracked, and Shepard had to mentally refrain himself from reaching out to comfort her. "Sh..Shepard? You are alive?" Her silver eyes were wide behind her purple tinted visor. She...Tali... took a step brazen forward, staring straight at his taller figure.

I can't believe it... Shepard responded delicately, a faint smile on his face for the first time in the day. "It's me Tali." The other quarian soldiers finally lowered their weapons, partially defusing the situation.

Tali took another emboldened step towards him, having to tilt her head upwards to remain staring at his eyes. When she spoke, the pain in her voice was clear, and she sounded more wounded than angry. "You… let me believe you had died?" She looked down at the floor for a moment, returning her gaze and jabbing a finger at his chest plate. Her tone sounded heartbroken, and it took all of Shepard's willpower to remain composed as she spoke. "For two years I thought you were at peace with the ancestors, but you have been alive? And now you are working with Cerberus? How could you do this to us... to me? Why!?"

She sounds so vulnerable, though I can't blame her. She thinks I abandoned the team... and her... to join Cerberus for two years. His composure failed as his face dropped into disconsolate grimace. His vocal inflection matched his expression as he countered. "Tali, please just let me explain what happened since we last spoke." Tali closed her eyes, with her head tilting down slightly. After the moment, she nodded, though her eyes seemed to be brimming with pain. He heard a faint sniffle come from her helmet, but there was no further words. The group of quarians gathered closer to her, though thankfully the weapons remained at ease. Resisting the urge to grasp her shoulder, Shepard continued. "I've been on an operating table for over two years, Tali. The amount of cybernetics they used to bring me back after being spaced is… astonishing to say the least. I didn't escape the Normandy. My hard suit protected enough to where they could resuscitate me. I've been awake for less than a day. I still don't fully understand why Cerberus, of all organizations, spent this amount of resources on my recovery. They provided the medical technology I needed, though I didn't have a say in the matter. I came here as a favor for giving me a second chance at life, but I have not joined them. You already know how much time and effort we spent dismantling their operations." He closed his eyes for a moment, the last part still a sour wound on his conscious. "And you were there when we found out what happened to Corporal Toombs." I only heard about Akuze, and the Alliance had thought nobody survived the mission...I hope the man is doing okay.

Tali did not verbally respond, though her eyes continued to hold the almost tangible sadness of earlier. At the pause in conversation, the male quarian from earlier spoke up. "The news of your actions even made it to the fleet, Commander... But Cerberus has made enemies of the quarian people, and your explanation is… difficult to believe." Difficult to believe is an understatement... I'm still trying to come to terms with this whole situation...

A second light sniffle came from Tali, before she finally spoke up. "They attacked the fleet Shepard... " She shook her head softly before she continued. "You would not know that if you were in a coma, and I do not think they would want to tell you."

Of course those assholes wouldn't want to let me know... I don't even give a shit about this mission right now, I can't stand seeing her this depressed...and it's entirely my fault... Shepard grimaced at the news, and opened his omnitool. Ignoring that the two members were just outside the door, he ordered through their team channel. "Jacob, Miranda, secure the evac zone. Afterwards, continue to scout for leads. I'll push ahead." He immediately shut the device, not waiting for a response. He looked at Tali with a defiant expression and gestured towards the door behind him. She seemed to get the hint, her dexterous fingers plugging into her omnitool before the door's haptic interface turned red. Why the hell would they even think about doing that? It can't have been just to secure data on the geth... Shepard slicked his hair back, trying to focus on exactly what he could do in this situation. His tone did little to hide the undercurrent of remorse and anger. "I don't blame any of you for questioning my explanation. It's still hard to wrap my head around the fact that two years have passed. The fact that it's thanks to a group of terrorists makes it that much worse. I don't know why they attacked the fleet, but I've seen what Cerberus does and how they operate. Their sick experiments that Tali and I helped shut down must have just been the tip of the iceberg." Billions of credits, attacking a sovereign species, and killing an Alliance Admiral and his men? What the fuck else does Cerberus have hiding away...

Tali's eyes stared into his, lingering in silence. It felt as though she was trying to find an answer, boring deep into his soul. She quickly turned to her team, speaking directly to the male quarian who had spoken a few times. "Prazza, it is truly him. I do not know how to explain it... but for now, I need you to take over the squad. I just…cannot th-"

The male quarian named Prazza cut her off, though his voice remained professional. "I understand Tali'Zorah, and I believe the admirals will also." He turned to Shepard, taking a step towards him with a stern expression as he spoke. "I do not trust those two Commander, but if you wish to work with us I will accept Tali's judgment. Patch into frequency 109.1625." He then made a gesture towards the unlocked door ahead, and the others quickly filed behind him, though a few looked back at the human quizzically.

That could have gone far worse... and now I have no idea what to do with those two operatives. That's a problem for later though. Shepard moved his gaze back to Tali, the last one of the quarian squad left in the room. She had holstered her shotgun, and closed the short distance between them. Her lithe arms wrapped around his much larger frame and squeezed with a surprising amount of strength. He returned the embrace, careful not to squeeze her too hard with his new cybernetics. The normally stoic Spectre felt his emotions come to the forefront as he heard her gently weeping. For a brief moment, there was no Cerberus to worry about, no impending Reaper invasion at the forefront of his mind, just the thoughts of the woman in front of him. His voice cracked as he whispered above her helmet. "I'm... sorry Tali. I never meant to put you through this." He then gently stroked her upper back, soon hearing the sounds of her crying stop before he added. "Thank you for believing me."

Her arms tightened around him, and her helmet remained buried against his armored chest. She finally spoke after another long moment, and for the first time since seeing her that day, her tone carried a hint of cheerfulness. "I missed you John."