Author's Notes: OK, so I admit it. I'm obsessed with dreams. (Luke's especially, apparently!) But dreams are cool. They're the closest thing we have to magic. You close your eyes and poof! There you are, fighting dragons or flying through space or…having a moment with the one you don't dare to admit you love. Dreams are awesome.
I can't even begin to tell you how old this story is. It's ancient. I've reworked it so many times that probably every single word has been changed at least once. Because it's been kicking around for so long, there might also be some repetitive phrases in it, some things that you've heard before in some of my other stories. If so, just give me a break, OK? For better or worse, here it is.
(If you're wondering about the title, you just have to remember the first line of the song. 'A dream is a wish your heart makes…')
(And for those of you non-sci fi obsessed souls, Sam, Al, Ziggy and Sam's swiss-cheesed memories are all from Quantum Leap.)
"Ow! Ouch! Dammit!"
In pain, in the dark, Luke woke up flat on his back on the floor. He'd been having such a violent nightmare that he'd actually rolled out of bed to get away from it. He laid there, his chest heaving while he fought for breath, trying to relax his bruised back as well as his panicked mind. He was completely disoriented. Why was he here, alone above the diner? Why wasn't he with Lorelai?
He rolled over and got up on his knees. He rested in that position for a moment, flexing muscles to make sure he hadn't permanently damaged anything. He hoped that eventually his lungs were going to stop gasping for air. Why the hell was he sleeping here, anyway? And why couldn't he remember anything?
Well, he finally decided, he didn't care. Bread delivery be damned, or whatever had lured him here tonight, away from the most beautiful girl in the world. This nightmare was proof that he shouldn't even be trying to sleep here anymore.
Getting to his feet made him groan. He rubbed at his aching back a little more, then grabbed his jeans from the chair and quickly put them on, rapidly followed by his shirt, shoes, and old green jacket. If even his bed didn't think he belonged here anymore, who was he to argue?
He didn't bother turning on a light because there was enough moonlight trickling through the curtains to show him the way to the door. He never needed a light on the stairs because he could navigate them blindfolded. He raced down to the first floor, his feet barely touching the treads. A few more seconds and he was out the back door, scarcely waiting to hear it latch behind him. He walked to Lorelai's as quickly as he could and that felt right, but yet everything seemed odd, like he was caught up in some dream he couldn't quite remember.
On the way he chastised himself for not staying with her tonight. She'd been so sad, ever since Rory had dropped out of school. He kept trying to say the right things and to be the guy she needed him to be, but no matter what he did or said that sadness never left her eyes. And now it felt like he'd done something stupid too, something that had made her even sadder. Why would he do that? And why couldn't he remember what it was?
You're an idiot, he berated himself. How many years did you pine over Lorelai Gilmore? And now that you've got her, you leave her alone like this? She's sad, and you're not trying to help? What the hell is wrong with you! She looks at you and you can tell you're this close to breaking her heart, and you go and spend the night away from her? Geez. You're even worse than that deadbeat asshole who fathered Rory.
Their house came into view and he quietly made his way up onto the porch. To his utter surprise, the door was actually locked. Either he was finally rubbing off on her with his never-ending urge for caution, or she felt less secure tonight since he wasn't here. In any case, the locked door filled him with perverse satisfaction. He patted at his pockets and only then realized that in his haste to get here, he hadn't grabbed his keys.
Oh well. He still knew at least a half dozen other ways to get in the house. Might as well try the easiest one first.
Sure enough, the window into the living room was unlocked. He pushed it up as quietly as he could, angling his body through the opening carefully. Once inside he shut the window and locked it. He made quick work of checking the locks on the rest of the doors and windows and then made his way upstairs.
He could just barely make out Lorelai's shape under the covers, and he could tell by the little puffing noise she was making that she was sound asleep. He hurriedly took off his clothes, adding them to the pile of hers hanging over the chair. The room felt stuffy after his brisk walk over, so at the last minute he striped off his t-shirt, too, before getting into bed beside her with as little jostling as possible.
She stirred, in spite of his best efforts not to bother her. Her hand came up to his face, her fingers trying to feather along his jaw but catching instead on his rough whiskers.
"Mmm, Luke." She exhaled the words, not really awake. He almost chuckled when he heard her take in a sleepy, moan-like breath, sounding nearly like she did when he handed her that first mug of coffee in the mornings.
He brushed a tender kiss against her temple. "It's OK, Sweetheart. I'm here now. Go back to sleep," he whispered. He gathered her into his arms, already succumbing to the deep, contented sleep slipping down over him.
Not even four hours later, Luke was once again shocked out of unconsciousness, but this time it was Rory who was responsible for the abrupt awakening. She stormed through the bedroom door, pushing it open with so much force that it bounced hard into the wall, the noise ricocheting around the room.
"Mom!" she yelled. "Get up now! We're late! Chop-chop!"
"Geez, Rory!" Luke immediately bolted upright, dragging Lorelai up with him. "Are you trying to give us a heart attack?"
There was a split second of blessed silence and then Rory screamed. She screamed, and screamed, and would have screamed again, except she had absolutely used up all of the oxygen in her body and had no choice but to lean back weakly against the wall to try and catch her breath, while her eyes went as wide as possible as she took in the unbelievable sight in front of her.
"Geez!" Luke said again, using his one free hand to clap it over his ear. "What is wrong with you?" Now that sleep was starting to retreat from his fogged brain, his natural concern woke up too. "Seriously, what's wrong? Are you OK? Are you hurt?"
"Mom?" Rory asked in a pitiful little whimper.
Lorelai was slowly and gently extricating herself from under Luke's arm, keeping a watchful eye on him while sliding to the edge of the bed. Once her feet felt the floor she inched slowly away, grabbing her robe from the foot of the bed without looking at it and belting it tightly around her. Still cautiously watching Luke, she backed her way over to Rory, putting her arms around the girl when she reached her.
"Luke," Lorelai said then, very quietly, "what are you doing here?"
He looked at her, his eyes drinking her in. They usually didn't talk like this in front of Rory, but…
"I missed you," he said simply, shrugging his shoulder slightly.
"O-kay," Lorelai said, dragging the word out. "You could have just waited an hour or two until I came to the diner for breakfast, you know," she tried to say jokingly, although the way her eyes were jumping around showed how truly uneasy she was.
"Mom," Rory whimpered again.
"It's OK, Sweets," Lorelai said delicately to her. "I think Uncle Luke's just having some sort of psychotic breakdown here, that's all."
Luke blinked at Rory, becoming still more awake. "What are doing dressed in your old Chilton outfit?" he asked her testily, not able to figure out what she was trying to pull.
"Because I go to Chilton?" Rory replied, sounding half sarcastic and half worried that he had truly lost his mind.
Luke snorted contemptuously. "Yeah, I wish you still went to Chilton, instead of dropping out of Yale and breaking your mom's heart."
"I'm going to go to Harvard, Luke. You know that!" She looked wild-eyed at her mom for confirmation. "He knows that!" she insisted.
"Of course he does," Lorelai soothed her. "Everybody knows that. Right, Luke?"
Luke blinked hard a few more times. Nothing was making sense. The things he was so sure of just a few moments ago were fading away, but the reality that was starting to flow back in wasn't making any sense, either. He looked more closely at Rory. She looked younger, and she didn't have those weird bangs he thought she did. Lorelai looked younger, too, and somewhat less careworn. What the hell…
"Luke, as much as I love you going all out to do the Pam Ewing/Dallas retrospective for us this morning, you're kinda freaking us out," Lorelai said. "Are you having an out of body experience, or something? Eat some strange mushrooms last night? Make a wish at a Zoltar machine at a carnival, or…" Her voice trailed off as he looked at her strangely.
"Where do you work?" he asked her, feeling weak but resigned.
"Where do I…" She gulped. "Luke, you're really starting to scare me."
"Lorelai, just tell me. Where do you work?" He shut his eyes tightly, waiting in dread for her response.
"At the Independence Inn, Mia's Inn. Where else would I work, Luke?"
He just shook his head, not looking at her. "Dragonfly," he muttered so softly that Lorelai could barely hear it, but at the word she tilted her head and gaped at him in amazement.
He held his forehead, not sure if he was trying to keep the memories in or hasten them out. A sudden thought erupted, and he shot towards the end of the bed.
Lorelai quickly put a hand over Rory's eyes, not sure what he might or might not be wearing under the covers.
He grabbed her left hand as Rory pushed her other one down off of her face. Luke ran his fingers over Lorelai's ringless one.
"So we're not…" he swallowed hard and sat down heavily down on the end of the bed, staring at the floor, trying to reconcile what was true with what his heart still believed.
"Rory," Lorelai said to her daughter, very quietly. "Go ahead and take the Jeep and head to school. Let me have some time to get Luke squared away here." Rory started to protest, but Lorelai insisted. "It's OK, Kid. I think it was probably some kind of weird sleepwalking thing. Just let me handle, it, OK?"
"Should I get Morey to come help, or Jackson, or somebody?" Rory asked. She was already starting to back over to the door, glad to get away from the awkwardness.
"No. Let's not embarrass him anymore. Just go to school, OK? I'll call you later."
Once Rory left, Lorelai knelt down in front of Luke, who was still hanging his head, trying to sort things out. She put her hands on his knees, and sucked in a breath when he looked at her. Apparently the heartbreak and despair he was feeling were visible on his face.
"Tell me what you remember," she gently encouraged him. Her normal mocking and teasing had been locked away.
"You were sad," he told her, studying her eyes. "Rory had hurt you. Then I did something that hurt you, too. I just had to come here and fix it. I couldn't stand to think that you were here alone, all sad and hurt. God, Lorelai!" He hung his head again, ready to chastise himself. "I can't believe I did something so stupid. It just felt so real to me."
"Everyone has those dreams sometimes, where you're convinced what you're dreaming is real," Lorelai comforted him. "Most people just don't have the energy to get dressed and run halfway across town to put the dreams into actions." She smiled, having to tease him at least a little bit.
He looked up and Lorelai's eyes caught his again, and for just a moment he allowed himself to look at her without that protective filter he always kept between them. The dream had knocked it away and he wasn't strong enough to wrestle it back in place yet.
He watched as her eyes widened in stunned surprise. Her breath caught and she lowered herself down onto her heels. She finally tore her gaze away and removed her hands from his knees, balling them into fists in her lap.
Lorelai took a breath, seemingly trying to settle something inside of herself. By the time she looked back at him she was all business again.
"Luke, I just want you to know that I won't tell anybody about this." She paused, looking like she didn't really want to say whatever was coming next. "I mean, I'm sure you'd rather that Nicole didn't hear about your little sleepwalking visit."
He stared at her, ashamed that Nicole had never once entered his mind. He shut his eyes for a moment, willing himself back into the present. "Yeah," he sighed, hating to agree with her. "Nicole," he muttered.
They stayed motionless for a few seconds longer, each enveloped in their own muddled thoughts.
"Should you be at the diner?" Lorelai questioned finally, giving him a nudge.
"Probably." Luke groaned, thinking about the likely chaos at the diner. "Lord knows if Caesar had the brains to find the key and open up. And Kirk is most likely pressed up against the window, smearing it all to hell."
"OK." Lorelai rose, trying to smile reassuringly at him. "I'll go on down, give you some privacy." She swooped her arms towards his clothes mingled so intimately with hers in the room.
"Thanks," he murmured, no longer able to look her in the face.
She was waiting for him at the foot of the stairs when he came down a few minutes later. He started to try an apology again, but she stopped him, putting her hands on his shoulders and rising up to quickly kiss his cheek.
"What…" he stuttered, surprised at her response.
"It was sweet, Luke," she told him. "Crazy, but sweet. Even in your dreams you're looking out for me. You've certainly seen your share of craziness from me over the years. So this makes just makes us even," she added, shrugging her shoulders and smiling serenely at him. "Now get to work. I'll see you later."
He opened his mouth, still wanting to say something, anything, but in the end he just nodded mutely and walked out the door.
"What did the brownie do to you, Lorelai?"
Sookie's accusing voice was pitched directly into her ear, and Lorelai practically fell off of the kitchen stool in shock.
"Geez, Sook, give a person some warning before you do that!" she implored her friend, pressing a hand over her heart.
"Where were you, anyway? I've been standing here for at least five minutes, and I've tried to talk to you three times. Do you have a headache?" Sookie asked sympathetically.
"No, no headache," Lorelai mumbled, still trying to calm her nerves. She climbed back onto the stool. "Why?"
"Every time I've seen you today you've been rubbing that same spot on your temple," Sookie explained. "And you seem a little off your game. I figured headache."
Lorelai's fingers automatically started up to the spot she'd been involuntarily touching all day, but she forced them down into her lap with effort.
Sookie watched closely, her curiosity in overdrive. "Do you need to talk about something? Or are you happier tearing apart that innocent brownie? It's double chocolate with a peanut butter ribbon swirled through it, you know. I thought you'd love it."
Feeling guilty at destroying such an awesome snack, Lorelai quickly used her fingers to press together some of the brownie pieces and stuck them in her mouth. "Really good," she said around the chocolate now in her mouth.
"Uh huh. What's going on?" Sookie questioned again, knowing Lorelai too well to accept what she said at face value.
Normally Lorelai would have loved to tell Sookie every moment of Luke's escapade. They would have laughed and gotten silly and built up months of teasing ready to launch at him. Sookie would have coaxed every last salacious detail out of her, from the color of his boxers to how well he wore them. Then once they'd fanned themselves and regained control, Sookie would have helped her figure out what was going on with him. She would have pointed out yet again what a great guy Luke was and how crazy he was about her.
But Lorelai didn't want to have that conversation today. Today she'd awakened with his arms around her and even Rory's screams hadn't been able to take away the warmth she'd felt laying there. She didn't want to open up what had happened to teasing and speculation. She wanted to keep every special moment of it to herself.
Also, today she'd made a mistake. She'd looked too far into those dream-drenched blue eyes of his. She'd seen those things that Sookie and Patty and Babette and even her own mother had told her were there. She couldn't push it all away any longer. Today she knew.
The only thing she didn't know for sure was if the hopes and pleas she'd seen deep in his eyes were truly his dreams or actually just her own yearnings reflected back at her.
However, since she wasn't ready to face what she'd seen, Lorelai had no choice but to raise her shoulders and try to fool Sookie about the state of her heart. "Nothing's going on," she told her. "I couldn't get to sleep last night, and then I ended up oversleeping and woke up feeling all jumbled."
"Oh, that's a miserable way to start the day," Sookie commiserated with her. "But I'm willing to bet that some coffee would go a long way to making it less jumbled, wouldn't it?"
"Coffee'd be great," Lorelai said, trying to sound enthusiastic and normal. But it was hard to sound normal when all she could really hear was Luke's voice saying 'It's OK, Sweetheart,' over and over again.
The problem with those reassuring words of his was that she knew she wasn't his sweetheart. And there was a distinct possibility it wasn't ever going to be really OK between them again.
Later that afternoon, Luke saw Rory passing by outside the diner on her way to the bookstore. He quickly grabbed a doughnut and filled a to-go cup with coffee before dashing out to intercept her.
She turned warily as he called out her name, but at least she didn't run away in fear from the crazy man.
Her eyes bore into him as he approached. "No more swiss cheese memory going on, right, Sam? You know what year it is and everything?"
"Yeah, Al and Ziggy straightened me all out. Things are back to normal. Didn't have to call the men in white jackets or anything," he agreed, handing the cup and the treat to her. "Sorry I freaked you out this morning," he forced himself to add, wishing it was possible to just forget the whole incident.
"It's OK," Rory said, inhaling the coffee aroma with pleasure. "I figure you've seen Mom and me do enough crazy stuff over the years. It's about time we rubbed off on you."
Luke smiled in spite of his continuing discomfort. "Your mom said the same thing."
"Well, we do think alike," Rory agreed confidently.
"OK then." Luke turned to head back to the diner, but stopped and looked back at her after a few feet, feeling compelled to add something more. "Rory, I know it was a dream, and it's silly, but just don't…Whatever happens, don't ever drop out of Yale, OK?"
"Luke, I wouldn't ever do something like that. You know that," the girl told him emphatically.
"Yeah, I know," he agreed with a sigh. He smiled half-heartedly, raising his hand as he trudged back to the diner.
Rory watched his retreat, clutching the coffee and the heavily-sprinkled doughnut. "And it's Harvard," she said softly, sounding like she was the one she was trying to convince.
"Mom, give it a rest already! You're driving me crazy and wearing a hole in the floor!"
"What?" Lorelai turned to face Rory distractedly. She was antsy and unable to sit still, and had been pacing through the living room, aimlessly making the rounds between the fireplace, the bookshelf, and the window looking out onto the porch.
"Stop! Sit somewhere! I can't concentrate," Rory complained. "What's with you, anyway? I don't know if Luke can fix floors, so please sit down before we have to see if he can or not."
As soon as she mentioned Luke's name, Rory looked at her mother more attentively. "Hey, did you even go to the diner today?"
"No. I thought it was better to give him some time without the visual reminder of this morning."
Rory shut her book on her finger to hold her place and leaned forward, preparing to tease. "You know, Mom, it occurs to me that you didn't appear all that upset this morning."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Well, I freaked out," Rory pointed out honestly. "Whereas you, the one who was actually in the bed with the stranger, seemed quite contented and happy to be there."
"And you noticed this in the millisecond before you started screaming like a little girl?" Lorelai sneered.
"Yes," Rory confirmed. "It makes me wonder…" She trailed off, suddenly not sure if she was joking or not, and not sure how far she could dare to push her mother.
"Wonder what?" Lorelai defiantly pushed back.
"Luke. Here. Like that." Rory nervously rubbed the thumb of her other hand over the book's spine, not able to look Lorelai in the face. "Has it happened before?"
Lorelai plopped down on the other end of the couch, facing Rory, looking confused. "You mean has Luke lost his marbles on some other occasion and sleepwalked his way into our house? No, I think I'd remember that."
"No. I mean…" Rory took a big breath and then plunged on, committed to opening up the topic. "Has he spent the night here before? With you?"
Lorelai's mouth fell open as she stared in disbelief at Rory. "You're kidding, right?" she finally got out.
"I saw his face, Mom, when he looked at you this morning. And when he said he'd missed you, he sounded so…wistful. And you didn't really seem to mind that he was here, so it just makes me wonder if it wasn't the first time."
"I …I don't even know how to respond to that, it's so…so…" Lorelai floundered. "You think that if Luke and I were…together…you wouldn't know? You, of all people? You think I'd be able to keep something like that to myself? If Luke and I…" She didn't know what else to do with the words and let them fade out to their deaths.
Rory stubbornly pressed on. "There's always been something between you. Maybe...Maybe I've just been too naïve until now to see what it was."
Lorelai was trying valiantly to get back into control. "Luke is a friend, Rory. Our friend. We see him multiple times a day. He feeds us. He's been in this house a million times. It's not a stretch to think that his subconscious would lead him here if he was all stressed out during a bad dream. It certainly doesn't mean that there's been some kind of clandestine relationship going on between us. Come on!"
"So you're saying that what he did was OK?"
"Yes!"
"Breaking into our house. Climbing into your bed."
"Rory—"
"Because he's a friend, Mom?"
Lorelai squeezed her eyes shut.
"Andrew's our friend, too. Does he have an open invitation to have a sleepover too?"
"Don't be—"
"How about Kirk? Should I tell him to bring his jammies over anytime he wants to?"
"Drop it." Lorelai's voice was icy.
Rory was pale and her breathing was shaky. "So it is only Luke that has your permission then, isn't it?"
"Rory. I want you to stop this. Now." Lorelai's tone was no-nonsense in a way that Rory had rarely heard it. "You're taking something that was done in all innocence and twisting it around until it's something tawdry and dirty. Luke doesn't deserve that. I don't deserve that."
For a minute Rory sat silently, petting the leather on her book and carefully not looking at her mother. Tentatively, she finally asked, "Would it be that awful? You and Luke?"
Lorelai leaned her head back against the couch and studied the ceiling, collecting her thoughts. "It wouldn't be awful," she admitted. "I mean, I've thought about it."
Rory scooted to the edge of the cushion and turned to watch Lorelai closely. "You have?"
"Of course I have. It would be hard not to. After all, I see him what, a dozen times a day? Every day. And he's kind, and he's funny, and he likes you. And he's got this sort of smoldering scruffy-sexy thing going on that's kind of hard to ignore."
"Eww, Mom—"
"Sorry." Lorelai's lips twitched up into a slight smile, the first since the exchange started.
"How long have you thought about him like that?"
Lorelai shrugged and sat up straighter on the couch. "Hard to say. A long time, I guess. And every now and then we'll have a couple of seconds between us where I think, 'This is it. It's finally gonna happen.' But it never does." Her voice was brave in the way it got when she was actually feeling dejected.
"I don't understand." Rory shook her head. "If you feel like that about him, and it's pretty obvious from this morning how he feels, why don't you tell him?"
"But I don't know that's how he feels at all," Lorelai protested. "He's had years to make a move on me if he wanted to. The fact that he hasn't seems to indicate he's actually not interested in me like that at all."
"Maybe he thought you wouldn't be interested," Rory said thoughtfully. "I mean, you never act like you're smitten when we're around him or anything."
"Smitten?" Lorelai laughed, making fun of the word. "No, I don't think I'm smitten." She took a deep breath and again turned serious. "It's more like he's just always there in my head, like a music lyric that gets stuck and won't go away. And eventually you realize it's no longer annoying that it's stuck there. Instead it's become sort of comforting, and…you don't know what you'd do if it actually went away."
Rory stubbornly pushed on. "But aren't you curious? Don't you at least want to try?"
"Oh, Rory. I don't know." She rubbed her fingers over weary eyes. "So much could go wrong. What if I trade in our friendship for a boyfriend and then lose everything? Would it be worth it?" She sadly shook her head. "I'm not sure it would."
"Well that's certainly looking on the bright side," Rory chided her.
"That's just me being realistic. I suck at relationships," Lorelai reminded her sourly.
"Maybe that's because you just haven't found the right one yet."
Lorelai looked with fond indulgence at her daughter. "Maybe."
Rory pulled her legs under her and settled back into a corner of the couch. "Thanks for talking to me about this, and being honest about it and all."
"Are you kidding?" Lorelai looked disturbed. She leaned over and put a hand on Rory's knee. "Rory, I'll always be honest about stuff with you. You surely know that. And there are things that I would never do in this house, whether you found out about them or not. I hope you know that, too."
"I do know that." But Rory looked conflicted. "It's just that we haven't always been straightforward about the guy stuff. Either of us."
Lorelai put both hands on Rory's knees. "You seriously think I would be capable of sneaking Luke – or anyone else ― in and out of this house under your nose and you wouldn't know?"
"No." A flush spread over her cheeks. "I didn't really mean to accuse you of that. It started out as teasing and then somehow veered into something else." She bent her head and looked at her mother from under her lashes. "Sorry."
"It's OK." Lorelai lost the tension and leaned back. "I think it was probably good for me to verbalize some of this."
"So what are you going to do about it now?"
"Do?" Lorelai chuckled glumly. "What can I do? The one thing we're both overlooking here is that he's with someone else."
Rory pursed her lips and blew a raspberry. "Oh – her!" she said, waving her hand dismissively.
"Yes, her," Lorelai said calmly. "Nicole. I mean, when have you ever known Luke to date anybody? The fact that he's asked her out at all says that he feels pretty strongly about her."
Rory scoffed again. "Well, Jess doesn't like her."
Lorelai scoffed too. "Jess doesn't like anybody. Except you."
The pink flush settled once again over Rory's cheeks, and she had to force herself to get back on track. "Jess says he thinks they're just going through the motions. What if he's just dating her because he thinks he can't have you?"
The blushing seemed to be catching. "Rory," Lorelai protested, looking away. "That's just…silly."
"I don't think it's silly. I think it makes perfect sense," Rory disputed. "Anyway, I'm throwing my vote onto the 'pro' side of this issue. I think you should definitely try dating Luke. It's just –" She cut herself off, looking incredibly uncomfortable, and then pointed up at the general direction of Lorelai's bedroom. "I just don't ever want to see that again."
"I second that!" Lorelai agreed, laughing. "And if Luke were here, I'm sure he'd third it!"
Rory craned her neck to see the clock. "It's not that late yet, Mom. Why don't you go over to the diner and try to score some bottom-of-the-pot coffee?" She lifted her eyebrows naughtily. "Maybe you could score something else, too."
"I thought you just said you didn't want to see that."
"Seeing it and teasing you about it are two different things."
Lorelai smiled but looked ill at ease. "I don't think that's a good idea yet. Maybe I'll try to find out more about how he really feels about Nicole first. I don't want to interfere."
"Yes, you do!" Rory said incredulously.
"I don't," Lorelai insisted. "And anyway, I'm not sure exactly how I feel or what I want or what I'd say if I did want it or how he'd react to that or what I'd want to happen if he wanted it too…I just don't know yet, Rory. I'm just not ready to do this yet. I'm not ready to take that next step yet."
"Then what are you going to do?" Rory's face showed her dissatisfaction with Lorelai's indecision.
"Right now I'm going to bed," Lorelai said, bouncing up off the couch.
"Seriously?"
"Yep." Lorelai made her way to the stairs, where she paused and struck a dramatic pose. "This is all just hurtin' my pretty little head. I think I shall deal with all of this tomorrow!"
"Yeah, good luck with that, Scarlett!" Rory sarcastically called after her. Then she sighed. It was going to be hard to get interested in her book again when so much real-life drama was going on in her own home.
Hours later, Lorelai made her way through the darkened downstairs, creeping as quietly as possible. Sleep had been impossible for her. How could she sleep in her bed, knowing that last night Luke had been there with her? She left a note in case Rory woke up and headed out the door. She still didn't know what she was going to say—or do—but at least she was doing something and that made her feel better. With determination she walked towards the diner.
Luke had been tossing and turning for hours. He knew he needed sleep, but his mind refused to let him drift off.
What if he fell asleep and had another crazy dream, and ended up at Lorelai's again? Once could be written off as some eccentric quirk that they could laugh about in years to come. Twice, and they'd cart him off to the loony bin. No, sleep was dangerous right now.
Plus, he was increasingly worried about why she hadn't come to the diner all day. She'd clearly said, 'I'll see you later' but then she hadn't come in after all. He always noted the days she skipped the diner because those days seemed to drag. Today had been especially long. He'd watched for her constantly while preparing what he needed to say to smooth over all the things he'd basically admitted to her this morning. What if she'd connected all the dots and figured it out and now was staying away from him out of pity, or because she was appalled he felt that way about her?
He groaned, flinging himself over on the mattress again.
Then, there was Nicole. She'd called during the afternoon, offering to come pick him up tonight and go see a movie. He'd totally blown her off, stammering something about being too tired to enjoy it. He could tell by her curt reply that she knew it was over for them. He felt guilty that he hadn't told her weeks ago that his heart just wasn't in it.
He rolled over onto his back, folding his arms under his head, watching the moonlight on the ceiling. The only bright spot he could find in this whole mess was that Jess had been forced to go on a school trip to Washington and hadn't been around to witness it. Thank God for small favors, Luke thought, imagining the relentless mocking Jess would have put him through.
A sudden noise from downstairs instantly propelled Luke out of bed, listening intently. That was the front door. Someone had entered the diner. He crept to the closet and grabbed his baseball bat. He told himself it could be Jess, but it didn't sound like the heavy footsteps of his self-absorbed nephew. This was someone trying to be sneaky.
He made his way cautiously to the door, opening it quietly, waiting, holding his breath, clutching the bat. He could barely make out a hand pushing aside the curtain. He tensed, prepared for the confrontation.
It was Lorelai. There was just enough light that he could see her eyes go wide with shock when she took in his stance with the baseball bat.
"Nice way to greet guests," she gasped.
"Guests don't break into places of business," he pointed out, his heart hammering madly. "Guests normally wait to be invited in."
She came the rest of the way up the stairs and stood in front of him. "So, are you going to invite me in then?" she asked, sounding remarkably perky considering the late hour and the almost tragic scene that had just unfolded.
"Sure. Come in." He motioned grandly for her to go past him into the apartment. He tried to figure out what was going on as he smoothed back his hair and put the bat down. He shut the door and made to turn on the lights.
"No, don't," she told him, putting her hand on his arm. "There's enough light. And this might be easier in the dark."
He didn't like the sound of that. He sighed in resignation. So this was it, then.
"What are you doing here, Lorelai?" he asked, defeated.
"I'm not sure." Lorelai looked like she was struggling to explain. "I was just anxious to see you. I felt like I had to see you, even though I hadn't figured out yet what I wanted to say to you. I had to get here. I had to be here, Luke. But I'm not sure…" With a sigh of her own, she stepped closer to him, raising her arm so that her hand cradled his cheek.
"Maybe… I had a dream," she said softly, letting her thumb stroke his cheek. "Maybe I dreamed you were sad. And I thought…maybe I needed to come here…just to make sure you were OK." Her last words faded out while she put her arms around his neck.
His arms wrapped automatically around her waist, as if they'd done that hundreds of times.
"I'm pretty sure I'm OK now," he marveled, pressing her to him.
"I think I am too," she breathed out, and raised her head to his for their first kiss.
With any luck at all, it would match the one in their dreams.