Today, I found out that the road I usually drive home is cursed, not only that there were several accidents there, but every now and then my car just dies there, on the exactly same spot where at least 5 people already died. How it goes? Well, it's a slight slope so I don't need to smash the gas, when I pass that point, the engine stops working and won't start until I get home (which is under the said slope) then it starts again. (Happened 5 times already)
Chapter 262: No one's giant ants
It was yet another boring moment for Max. He was once again sitting in his usual spot, which he claimed earlier this day and was now staring into the distance. He tried to help around the village but it ended up with awkward moments or downright disasters. "Who needs a man who is twice or thrice weaker than everybody else? Not to mention shorter and my funny accent." Max found out that he had 'funny' accent when trying to speak in na'vi. It was natural that he'll have to learn the basics of it while working near Dr. Grace Augustine but he quickly forgot things, it was only recently when he had to remember some words.
"Remembering words wouldn't be that hard, I had to remember how to speak when trying to say these things." Max was getting rather depressed while remembering what happened just a few hours ago. Then there was this even crazier idea of playing with children, which ended after the first hit to the head, that was before he woke up just a few minutes ago, after that he apologized to the children and went back to his spot over here.
"I simply don't belong here" He thought. Just like before, when he started to think these depressive thoughts, the only person who was more out of place than him appeared.
"Yo man, you look down, need a little pick-me-up?" Smokey offered one of his 'magical burning sticks' Max of course politely refused, he wasn't going to do drugs just yet. "I'm not a teenager to get bored and try drugs." He thought, remembering all the stuff he was taught at the school by the specially appointed teacher who just couldn't keep his mouth shut about how drugs were dangerous and all that stuff. Max will never forget the images like 'this is your brain on drugs' and all that stuff which still scared him.
"No, thanks." He said simply, pushing Smokey's hand away from his face.
"You seem down, what happened? Your tree ran away? The Big na'vi laughed at you again? You can tell it to me." Smokey tried to help him while sitting down right next to him. Max was little surprised to see that there were also two na'vi who sat on his and Smokey's side and were listening to their conversation. He suddenly felt like he wasn't alone in this God-forsaken, Eywa-ruled world.
"I'm just no good at anything." Max began but Smokey stopped him before he could go on about how the life was miserable and all that stuff which was bound to follow.
"Hold on. You might be just a little ant-man just like me, but that doesn't mean you're bad at whatever we ant-people do." He said while gesticulating wildly as if he tried to put emphasis on whatever the ant-people do.
"What?" Max wasn't sure if he was receiving mental support from this guy or if he was supposed to provide it for the same guy he was receiving it from.
"All I'm saying is that we should definitely try to be more like the giant-men and not like ant-men ya following me? We'll have to jump from tree to three, and then back at nine…whoa, can you taste that too?" Smokey's face was suddenly lost in the fog as he took the smoke he offered to Max just a few seconds ago and smoked it along with his previous one, this was the first time he took two at once, and it was definitely affecting his mind right now.
"Are you okay?" Max asked him while waving in front of Smokey's exopack which was filled with fog.
"Sweet mother of crackers! I just saw the future!" He exclaimed while waving his hands around and thus scaring Max and making him lose his balance. Smokey however quickly grabbed his hand and with the help of the other na'vi, they pulled him up.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Max was yelling at his savior who was also the same person which almost doomed him.
"I knew you would say that, and now you'll say "what" because you're on your way to be giant-ant-man!" Smokey said rather quickly, making it seem like he was on something much stronger than his weed.
"What?" That was all Max could ask him right now. This person was rather disturbing and he didn't want to spend another second with him but there was this thing that prevented him from leaving. "This is my usual depression spot. Well, I'll try to be nice and maybe he'll leave." Max thought but before he could say anything, the guy whose face was hidden in the fog began talking once again
"You are Max Patel, and you wanted to introduce yourself in next sentence" This surprised Max, not only that he knew what was he going to do, but he also knew what he was going to say exactly. Not to mention the creepy thing that he knew his name.
"How do you know my name?" Max asked him, not believing that he was capable of seeing the future.
"I knew you were going to ask me this question giant ant-man Patel." Smokey said mysteriously and the fog started to vent out, but he was smoking two at once so the filters had really hard time venting it all out.
"The answer is simple. I see into da future man! It all happened before, so let's get back to the future, shall we?" Smokey said while making strange gestures with his hands.
"You, my dear ant-man, will be approached by angry-ant-woman who will want to you to do things to her… Oh my god, those things are stuck in my head!" Smokey stood up and started running in circles, looking like bipedal steam locomotive with the smoke coming from his exopack. Both na'vi were looking at him and then they looked at Max, shrugging. Smokey had them confused and surprised so many times, that even though it amused them greatly, they were half-expecting him to do something like this. Max however wasn't used to this level of craziness.
When Smokey calmed down a little, he then continued with his prophetic words.
"Then the white knight will appear driving a black dragon, in his hands he'll have the mightiest weapon!" Smokey's words sounded really mysterious, but he was unable to act like a true prophet, he lacked the stuff that was needed to act like one, he was dressed in RDA issued overalls which were itching all over the place, in fact when he was trying to convey his prophetic words, he was scratching his behind.
"And that weapon might be?" Max asked and then immediately regretted asking question like that person like this who was unable of rational thoughts.
"The power of love man, can't you feel it?" Smokey asked, grabbing Max's hands and trying to kiss him, there was however one or two things that prevented the kiss. The said things were of course the transparent parts of their exopacks, so it just ended with him hitting Max with his head. Max fell backward and sat on his butt, luckily Smokey's guardians were expecting this and prevented Max from falling down the tree for the second time.
"Damn, the force fields are up again!" Smokey said while quickly running away.
"That's right, run away or pray to whatever you believe because I'm going to hit you nerd style!" Max thought, while unsealing his exopack and pushing his glasses which fell off his nose back into place. He stood up and saw that the na'vi were leaving as well. They must've been from the local madhouse, keeping an eye on one of their patients or something, because that would be the only explanation why were they following person this mad and dangerous in the first place.
"I should go somewhere else, before he comes back again… how the hell did he know my name?" Max wondered, he never really told him his name and guessing both first name and surname correctly was chance one in ten millions. He was about to get going when another human blocked the entrance to the home tree. This time it wasn't Smokey however, it was Alexandra who was looking rather grumpy. "Could his words be true? Is she really the giant ant-woman? What the hell is she going to do to me?" Max's mind was filling with doubts as Alexandra approached him.
"Hey you, Max was it? I need you to…." She began but Max interrupted her, almost screaming.
"So it is you, the giant ant-woman! You won't do those horrible things to me!" He said rather quickly with raised voice and then ran into the home tree, leaving confused Alexandra just standing there.
"What the F*ck was that all about? Well, so much for asking him if he could check the connections between the par…Did he just call me Giant Ant-woman?" Alexandra suddenly turned red and everybody who was near, or on the same branch as she was could feel the anger, her anger!
Oh boy, Run Max RUN!
Fillery chapter is not-so-fillery, it just tells u guys what happenz at the Omaticaya tree while the rescue group returns. Tomorrow, I'll move the story arc…or maybe day after tomorrow, or maybe… Who cares anyway? I'll write something and that's for sure!
I just hope the quality of this fanfic is going up or at least stagnating, if it gets worse and worse with every chapter, tell me and I'll just do TO BE CONTINUED screen and end this epic story until I gather enough courage and inspiration to start sequel. Alas, we're already past the half of the story, and don't give me those sad faces, you all know that 'to all things comes and end!'
(Back to the future reference © Dr. Emmet Brown who invented time travelling!)
Answers to readers
-The stone tiger: The non-fillery chapter is followed by almost-fillery chapter!
-Forgotten shock trooper: Well, This story is based on his bad luck. Nash is however K.O. for unknown reasons, maybe we'll find out later about why is he still K.O.
-Robin Grimm-Goodfellow: Well, I was out cold while the engine was running, and I was about to leave the place where I was. The leak was fixed (got two out of twelve…or more)
-Yukidog: *Rolls his eyes*
-A Sitting duck: I bet with my friend that somebody will post some part of lorem ipsum there, you just won me about 2,5 euros!
-Athemis Fowlgers: Just be glad it isn't you who is in this awkward situation ^_^
That's all folks!
STAY TUNED!
And Review