A/N: Hey y'all. It's been a while, hasn't it?
Sorry I haven't updated this fic in quite some time. I've had to deal with a lot of things, such as college and two other things that I'll explain at the end of the chapter.
For now, here's what you've been waiting for! The second part of Stealing the Diamond!
(For the record, this directly continues from the last chapter.)
Regular - Story narration
Bold - Video narration
Bold/Italic - Game characters talking
Bold/Italic/Underlined - Markiplier and/or other people talking
Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY nor any material from Markiplier.
FAIL 24 TIMES! | Stealing the Diamond (Sneak In)
Mark returns to the first choice of the game and selects the "sneak in" choice.
Markiplier: Okay. Snneeeaaak in.
Yang crosses her arms. "Boring~!"
Weiss glares at her. "It's the smart thing to do."
"Are you saying I'm not smart?"
"I can neither confirm nor deny that."
"Now you better sleep with one eye open tonight."
Henry is shown at the base of the building, thinking of what to do.
Markiplier: Sssshh! Everybody be quiet!
"Don't tell us what to do!" RWBY shouted defiantly, yet they were obviously joking since they are currently failing to hide the shit-eating grins on their faces.
Markiplier: I'm trying to be-.
Several make an appearance. There are six, with three leading up or three leading to the left. The "up" choices: Jumble Hoppers, Anti-Gravity Cap, or Teleporter? The "left" choices: Shrink Ray, Pick, or Liquidificator?
Ruby squealed. "Oh~! So many choices! Go up!"
"I kind of want to see what going left would do," Weiss admitted.
"I think he'll do both," Blake put in. "It's just the matter of which way he'll go first."
Yang shrugged. "Up. Left. Just do something!"
Markiplier: Oh my goodness! So many choices. Okay, so these go up. These go to the left.
Mark contemplates the Jumble Hoppers.
Ruby crossed her fingers. "Do it. Do it. Do it."
Markiplier: This seem like it's gonna end horribly, so let's try that first.
Ruby frowned. "How can it possibly end horribly? Jumping to that height would be awesome!"
Mark chooses the Jumble Hoppers. Henry puts them on and jumps. He reaches the roof top-.
"Yay! You made it!" Ruby cheered.
-but is unable to grab onto it.
Markiplier: Uh-huh.
He subsequently falls back on his feet, which sends him flying backwards.
Markiplier: Eh heh. Oh no! I'm going backwards. Oh-.
He does a flip, before falling into a river…and losing 2 points…which confuses Mark.
WBY looks to Ruby, who is hiding her face in her knees.
"I'm never gonna get one," she mumbles.
"Well…" Yang tries to assure. "…at least it was a sweet flip!"
"…" Ruby gets out of her slump. "I guess."
The "FAIL" appears, with the game saying, "Sweet flip, bro."
"See! The game agrees with me!"
"I guess you're right." Ruby giggled. "I didn't know he was getting points, though."
Markiplier: I didn't know I was getting points.
"I just said that!"
The screen returns to the choices. Mark makes a choice.
Markiplier: Anti-gravity?
Henry has the cap on and activates it. He begins to float upwards.
"Aw!" Ruby whined. "I want to float!"
Weiss looks at her. "I can use my glyphs for that."
"But it won't be the same!"
SMACK!
"Ow!" Ruby rubs her head. "I think it's bruising."
"Well now you know how I feel," Weiss retorts. She hasn't said anything, but with the amount of facepalms she's done…let's just say that a bruise has either formed or is imminent.
Markiplier: Yes, anti-gravity cap.
"Yes," Weiss deadpans. "We can see that."
Markiplier: Not a belt.
"We get it," Yang growls.
Markiplier: Not boots.
"WE GET IT!" RWBY shouts.
As he reaches the top, Henry attempts to deactivate the cap…only to find that it's malfunctioning.
Markiplier: Tha-oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh no. Oh no. Oooooaah.
Henry hopelessly floats upwards…possibly into space.
"So," Weiss smirks. "What was that about wanting to float?"
"…Shut up."
The "FAIL" appears, with the game saying, "You're lucky! I've always wanted to go to space!"
Markiplier: Well, space travel would be very efficient if we all had that.
"So true," RWBY sighed. Due to the Grimm being a major problem, the only times that people ever thought of outer space is in film or gaming.
Sad, really.
Back to the choices.
Markiplier: Teleporter!
Henry is hesitant, but nonetheless activates the teleporter. He blinks out of existence, and reappears in the air.
"Aw, what?!" Ruby shouted. "The teleporter didn't work either!"
Henry: Aa-!
Markiplier: Uhhh-.
Henry lands safely on the rooftop.
"Oh…never mind."
Markiplier: Hah, ha! It worked! I think it worked?
"No, it didn't," Weiss sarcastically remarks. "You actually landed in Purgatory and are awaiting judgment. May Oum have mercy on your soul!"
RBY shook their heads at Weiss's antics…huh. Who knew the Ice Queen of Beacon had antics of her own?
The entrance on the roof is guarded by one guard. Henry hides behind a vent.
Markiplier: Uh, you don't see anything copper.
RWBY chuckled, with Weiss shaking her head. It was apparent that all the guards were incompetent.
Four choices appear: Penny, Tranquilizer Dart, Falcon Punch, or Invisibility Pill? The Falcon Punch is chosen.
"Oh, oh!" Yang shouts, pointing at the Falcon Punch choice. "Falcon Punch! Do it! JUST DO IT!"
Ruby shakes her head. "Have you been watching that Shia Labeouf Video?"
"…Maybe."
Markiplier: Falcon Punch!
"Falcon Punch!" (Yang)
"Falcon Punch!" (Ruby)
"…" (Blake)
*facepalm* (Weiss)
Ruby pouted. "You two didn't say it!"
"We were willing to say 'open'," Blake and Weiss said at the same time. "Don't push it."
Henry: Falcon Pun-!
Henry attempts to perform the Falcon Punch…only to find that he's unable to do it.
Henry: -nch.
The girls were trying very hard to not burst into laughter…it was incredibly difficult.
Mark laughs.
Markiplier: Oh! I forgot I'm not Captain Falcon.
Yang scoffs. "I'm not Captain Falcon, but I can do it."
"That's because of your Semblance," said Blake.
The copper pulls out a gun and aims at Henry. The "FAIL" appears, with the game saying, "Only one man is capable of the Falcon Punch."
Yang was about to say something, but was silenced by Blake's glare.
Markiplier: Oh no!
The screen returns to the six choices, of which Markiplier almost screwed up.
Markiplier: Oh wait, no! Crap!
"Careful, Mark," Weiss lectured. "You don't want to screw up…like you've been doing so far."
The scene returns to Henry on the roof.
Markiplier: I love the half-hearted voice acting that they have in this thing. Like "Ah! Oh no! Johnny, no!"
"That's in the past!" Ruby exclaims. "Stay in the now!"
The four choices return. Mark chooses the tranquilizer.
Markiplier: Tranquilizer.
Henry fires the tranquilizer gun at the guard…who happened to stretch his arms and yawn. This resulted in the tranquilizer dart to miss and soar into a vent.
Markiplier: Yeah, that seems logical.
"I agree with Mark for once," Weiss said. "The odds of that happening are one in a million."
"Yang shrugged. "Guess he's the one in that million."
Henry looks on in disbelief...unfortunately, he happens to be near an opening in a vent. The tranquilizer reappears…and hits Henry below his chin.
The girls winced.
That had to hurt, they thought as they unconsciously rubbed below their chin.
His eyes drift steadily apart as the tranquilizer takes effect.
"And there goes the sedative," Blake commented.
Markiplier: Oh no! *laughs*
The "FAIL" appears, with the game saying, "Whoa! What are the odds of that?!"
Weiss shook her head. "Like I said, one in a million."
"And like I said," Yang added while smiling mischievously. "Henry's…the one."
…
…
…
…
"Yang."
"Yes, Ruby?"
"Never compare this to The Matrix…like, ever."
"Okay."
Markiplier: I love how his eyes just drifted steadily apart, like "beeegh".
"Beeegh," Ruby repeated, mimicking the same face Henry had and pretending to be dead.
Yang and Blake chuckled, while Weiss rubbed her eyes in annoyance.
The choices return. Mark plays with how the Falcon Punch choice shouts, "Falcon Punch!" whenever he moves the mouse over it.
Game: Punch! Punch! Punch! Punch, punch, punch, punch, punch!
Every time the game said, "punch", Yang and Ruby repeatedly punched the air.
"Kicking's better," Blake said.
Yang smirked at her. "I'm sorry. What happened when Henry tried that at the beginning of this video?"
Blake crossed her arms and pouted. "It's still better."
Mark chose the invisibility pill.
Markiplier: If I had an invisibility pill, I would use it, correct?
"I want to be invisible," Ruby whined…then gasped. "Weiss-!"
"No Ruby," Weiss answered before Ruby could finish. "There isn't a type of Dust that can make someone invisible."
Ruby slumped. "Aw man."
Henry swallows the invisibility pill and becomes invisible. The guard just looks around as steps are heard.
Markiplier: Well-
Henry screams as he apparently trips over the edge and falls. The guard raises an eyebrow at the noise.
The girls gawked.
"Did," Weiss began. "Did he just…fall of the building?"
"I think he did," Yang replied.
Weiss gave the mother of all facepalms.
"OW!"
Weiss rubbed her forehead. Its official…she now had a bruised forehead.
"You okay?" Ruby asked, her voice rife with concern.
"Yes…I'm fine," Weiss grunted. "It's just…how in all of Remnant did he fall off a building?!"
The other three shrugged, with Blake saying, "Maybe the game will tell us?"
RWBY turns their attention to the video.
The "FAIL" appears, with the game saying, "It's hard to see when you're invisible, no?"
…
…
…
…
…
"WHAT?!" Ruby and Yang practically shouted.
Poor Blake.
Markiplier: Wait, what happened?! It's hard to see when you're invisible?! What do you mean it's hard to see?! You're eyes are right in the same plac-! That doesn't make any sens-! You'd be totally fine! Everyone else would have a problem! That's bullshit. That's bullshit ri-. That's bullshit!
"Oh we agree, Mark," Ruby nodded, along with Yang. Blake was rubbing her ears after the shout that just occurred.
"It makes sense, actually," Weiss commented.
"How does that make sense?!" Ruby and Yang exclaimed, once again hurting Blake's ears with their shouts.
"Well, if you two dolts paid attention in science class, then you'd know that people can see due to light passing through the pupils, which then focuses on the retina, then goes to the brain so it can process it and allow us to see."
Weiss looks at RY. "With me, so far?"
They scratched their heads, but otherwise nodded.
"Good. Now, what would happen if someone was invisible?"
Ruby and Yang shrugged.
"Well, when a person is invisible, so are their eyes. When light is supposed to pass into the retina, it instead passes through it, and therefore the brain cannot process it. Henceforth, the brain does not allow sight due to the light not entering the retina."
Weiss eyes the half-sisters. "Understand?"
Ruby and Yang gave questioning looks to each other, before looking at Weiss and shrugging.
"Makes sense, I guess," Ruby admitted.
"Ditto," Yang added.
Blake decided to add her input after successfully nursing her ears. "You know, this could be just a reference to third-person controlling."
RWY gazed at Blake with questioning looks.
"I mean, if you're playing as a character, and that character happens to be invisible to not only the other non-playable characters, but you as well, then it would be difficult to judge just where your character is. For all you know, he could be in front of a lava pit and you wouldn't even know it."
The girls had thoughtful expressions on their faces.
"So," Ruby began. "If your character is in front of a lava pit and you don't know it-."
"-and you happen to move forward-," Weiss continued.
"He'll fall into the pit," Yang finished.
Blake nodded. "Exactly. In this case, if Mark had the option to move Henry around and said character was invisible, Mark wouldn't know where Henry is. He'd just move around until he either makes it to the entrance by luck-."
"-or falls of the edge of the building," Weiss finishes.
"Or accidently bumps into the guard," Ruby added.
Blake nods to both.
"So," Yang says. "Which explanation makes more sense: Weiss or Blake's?
This made Team RWBY think for a moment before Weiss spoke.
"Well obviously it's-."
Ruby raised a hand to silence Weiss before she could finish, knowing full well an argument could break out about this.
"Why don't we just say that you're both right and leave it at that?"
Weiss and Blake looked at each other before nodding. They knew that if they bothered to argue about this, it could go on for hours, evidence of this being
"Good. Now, back to the video!"
Mark retries and the choices reappear. He messes with the "Falcon Punch" choice again before choosing the "Penny" choice.
Markiplier: Penny!
"How do you know Penny?!" Ruby accuses, pointing at the computer…specifically at Mark.
"He's talking about the choice, you dolt," Weiss scoffed.
Ruby rubs her neck sheepishly. "Heh, heh…I knew that."
Now that Ruby thought about it…what was Penny doing at this time?
A Bullhead landed near the Beacon docking area. The doors opened and a lone figure came out.
This figure was female, with orange hair and a pink bow on top. She had green eyes, light skin, and freckles. She wore an old-fashioned blouse with short feminine overalls, as well as a black and green collar with a matching pair of stockings.
Her name is Penny.
"I can't wait to see my friend, Ruby!" Penny said with excitement. "I hope she's surprised by my visit!"
Ruby mentally shrugged. Penny was probably with her father or Ironwood or something.
Henry tosses a penny near the guard, who gets distracted by it.
Markiplier: Of course. The low tech-.
Roof Guard: Oh look! A penny.
"Low tech," Weiss said. "But effective."
RBY agreed and all sighed. It appeared that all of the guards were incompetent.
Henry speeds past the guard and appears in an area above the diamond.
Markiplier: Wow.
"Wow us right!" Yang exclaimed. "That was almost as fast as Ruby."
"Hey!"
"I said almost!"
Markiplier: If I was that p-fast in the first place, I wouldn't have-.
Three choices appear: Drop, Wire, or Portal Gun? Mark immediately chooses drop.
Markiplier: -drop! Straight in! Go for it, brah!
"Dropping from that height won't work!" Weiss shrieked. Not without an Aura or Semblance!"
"You don't know that," Ruby argued.
Henry drops down.
Markiplier: You can do it. I-.
Glass shattering can be heard and the alarm sounds. It is shown that while the diamond is now free of its container, Henry is unconscious…or possibly dead. The "FAIL" appears, with the game saying, "Did you really think that was going to work?"
Weiss looks at Ruby with crossed arms. "Yes, Ruby. Did you?
"…Maybe?"
SMACK!
"Ow!"
"Dolt," Weiss muttered, then looked to the video. "What about you, Mark? Did you think dropping would work?"
Markiplier: Well…alright. I did think that it was gonna work. Screw you!
RBY giggled while Weiss looked indignant.
"You got burned!" Yang giggled.
"D-Don't be ridiculous!" Weiss stuttered. "H-He was obviously r-referring to the game!"
"Sure…keep telling yourself that."
RBY knew full well that Mark was referring to the game, but they preferred it this way, much to Weiss's chagrin.
He retries and chooses the "Wire" option.
Markiplier: Wire!
"Ugh," Yang muttered. "Wires are so cliché when it comes to stealing something."
Henry connects a wire to himself and the ledge. He then lowers himself onto the ground. Safely on the ground, Henry disconnects the wire, which slingshots back upwards.
Markiplier: Probably the best option. I wanna see what the Portal Gun would've done, though.
"Me too, Mark," Ruby sighs sadly. "Me too."
Yang pats Ruby on the back. "Don't worry, Rubes. We can find out what goes wrong with the portal gun later."
Ruby nodded, smiling.
Two choices appear: Laser Cutter or Hammer?
Markiplier: Hammer!
"What?!" Weiss exclaimed. "He should be using the laser cutter! A hammer will make too much noise!"
"Actually," Blake put in. "I don't think Henry seems like the type of guy who knows how to properly use a laser cutter."
"…Good point."
Mark chooses the "Hammer" option. Henry uses the hammer to break the glass.
"And here comes the loud noise," Weiss muttered.
Markiplier: Baaooo!
Rather than a loud sound, the glass breaks into pieces with very little sound. With a grunt, Henry lifts the diamond.
…
…
…
…
…
"Huh," Weiss said. "That's…actually kind of a letdown."
Ruby shrugged. "At least he got the diamond."
"What's this?" Yang asks in mock surprise. "Not gonna say anything about how he should be caught?"
"Not really. I'm over it."
This relieved WBY.
Markiplier: Wh-What?! That was the good option?! How was that the good option?!
"Don't question it," Blake said. "Just take what you can get."
Two guards are shown near the exit. Some boxes are near. Henry takes a breather.
"Wimp," Yang said. "That diamond doesn't look that heavy."
"Maybe not to you," Weiss retorts. "But then again, you're a brute."
"Says the ice queen with no muscle mass whatsoever."
"WHAT?!" Weiss shouts indignantly. "I have muscle!" She flexes her arm to prove her point…only for it to comically sag, indicating the lack of muscle.
Yang smirked. "You were saying?"
"Again, sleep with one eye open tonight."
Markiplier: Okay, whatever I don't get the logic behind tha-
Three choices appear: Cannon, Cheese, or Plank? Mark immediately chooses the cannon.
Ruby gasped. "Cannon! Go with the cannon!"
"That sounds like something Nora would say," Weiss criticized.
Nora sneezed.
Ren eyed her. "Are you catching a cold?"
"I don't know…but I feel like I've just been insulted."
"What makes you say that?"
"My spidey sense was tingling."
Ren sighed. "Nora, I already banned you from Star Wars. Don't make me add Spiderman to the list."
"But Andrew Garfield is awesome!"
"I prefer Tobey Maguire."
"Andrew makes a much better Spiderman!"
"But Tobey Maguire makes a better Peter Parker."
Nora crosses her arms and grumbles to herself.
"Maybe," Ruby admitted. "But the cannon's more awesome!"
Weiss scoffs and returns to the video.
Markiplier: Cannon! Yes!
"Yes!" Ruby mimics. "Behold, the power that is the cannon!"
Henry is shown in the cannon as it is about to fire, the diamond presumably inside already. The cannon falls a bit, causing Henry to fall out.
Markiplier: Oh no. Cannon, no!
Henry gets up and sets the cannon in the correct position before hopping back in. This, of course, makes the cannon fall again as the fuse runs out. The cannon fires, sending a screaming Henry and the diamond crashing into something.
WBY looks to Ruby…only to find that she's not in the chair. They turn around and find her sitting in the corner, her head buried in her knees.
"I'm never gonna get one," she mumbles.
WBY takes several minutes to calm a sad Ruby down. It works, and Ruby returns to the chair and resumes the video.
Markiplier: O-Okay. Am I alive?
Henry is shown to be imbedded into the wall by the diamond, quite possibly dead. The guards look on in confusion.
"Nope." (Ruby)
"Unlikely." (Weiss)
"Probably not." (Blake)
"He's definitely dead." (Yang)
Markiplier: …That seems like a maybe. A solid maybe.
Let it be known that Markiplier's an optimist.
The "FAIL" appears, with the game saying, "You almost saved it. Almost."
Weiss scoffs. "That doesn't look like 'almost' to me."
RBY agreed.
Mark chuckles awkwardly as he re-tries. He chooses the "Cheese" option.
Markiplier: Cheese! Cheese?
"How's cheese supposed to help him get past the guards?" Ruby wondered.
"It can't," Weiss stated. "Makes me wonder why it's even a choice."
Yang put on a "thinking" pose. "Maybe it's super cheese."
Everyone looks at Yang as though she were crazy.
"I'm just saying!"
Henry eats the cheese. A couple seconds pass as Henry blinks and looks around. The "FAIL" appears, with the game saying, "Wha-W… Why..? …Seriously..?"
…
…
…
…
RWBY looks at Mark. "Yeah, Mark. Seriously?"
Markiplier: Wha-hah, hah, hah. I don't know! You put it as an option, game! How was I not supposed to try it?
"It's called common sense, you dunce," Weiss scolded.
He retries and the choices reappear. Mark goes with the "Plank" choice.
Markiplier: Plank."
Since this was the last choice, it had to be the right one…right?
Henry set a plank in between boxes. He takes the diamond and jumps on the plank, which catapults him across the room.
Markiplier: Oooooohhh.
Henry lands safely on a cushion. The guards didn't notice due to having a conversation.
"That's a conveniently placed cushion," Blake remarked.
"It's always convenient when it comes to this game," Weiss said.
Old Guard: And after that, they just up and arrested him!
Younger Guard: Whoa, really?
Old Guard: Yeah.
"This is the same conversation that they had in the 'bust in' choice," Ruby said.
"Well," Yang began. "At least this time it's safe…since the robber's going in and out quietly."
Henry sneaks out the exit and pushes the diamond with his foot as he considers what to do next. A guard smoking a cigarrete stands below, his rifle next to him. Four choices appear: Snap Neck, Diamond, Rifle, or Jump?
Ruby glares at the screen…specifically at Markiplier.
"Don't do it, Mark. Don't. Do. It."
"Do it! JUST DO IT!"
"That's it, Yang! No more Shia Lebeouf for you!"
Mark goes with the "Snap Neck" choice.
Markiplier: Snap neck! Like a badass!
Darn it, Mark!" Ruby exclaimed. "No killing!"
"Jeez, Ruby," Yang said. "Calm down. It's just a game."
"That doesn't mean he has to kill someone!"
Henry attempts to snap the guard's neck…only to fall down the stairs and break his own neck. The "FAIL" appears, with the game saying, "I told you man. I TOLD you about stairs!"
Markiplier: O-oh *chuckles*. I get you, game. I get you! HA, HA! My neck! Well-."
Ruby smirks in victory. "And that's why he shouldn't have done it in the first place."
He retries and the choices reappear. He goes with the 'Diamond" choice this time.
Markiplier: Diamond?
"I don't see how the diamond's gonna help you," Ruby said, still smiling about how victorious she was.
Henry lifts the diamond and drops it on top if the guard, which makes a "bonk" sound.
Markiplier: Bah!
The guard is shown unconscious (possibly dead) since the diamond landed on his head.
Ruby is no longer smiling. In fact, she's suddenly getting teary eyed.
"Oh crap," Yang said. "Ruby, calm down."
Still teary eyed.
"Um…hey! There's a new part that you can use for Crescent Rose!"
Now her lips were quivering.
Weiss tried to help. "Look! Cookies!"
A solitary tear escaped her eyes, a prelude of what was to come.
"No, seriously!" Weiss pulled out a box of cookies. "Cookies!"
The time is nigh. The waterworks are about to begin. All that is left is for Ruby to open her mouth and let out a cry…which she did.
"AA-!"
Weiss stuffed three cookies into Ruby's mouth before she could start crying. Ruby accepted the cookies that had been bestowed upon her by the heiress, chewing them with vigor before swallowing.
"Better?" Weiss asked.
Ruby nodded. "Better.
Markiplier: Oh, he is very dead. Oh, he is so very dead.
Weiss immediately stuffed more cookies into Ruby's mouth just in case she got teary eyed again.
Henry takes a look around and finds the he is in the clear. He smiles in victory. The game shows various scenes of Henry living the good life after stealing the diamond. It also states, "You won the Undetected way.
Markiplier: Hah, hah! I won the undetected way! God, there was a lot of things I wasn't able to try there.
"We know, Mark," RWBY said at the same time. "We know."
Mark returns to the first choice of the game and chooses "Sneak In". He returns to the six choices of "Up" or "Left".
Markiplier: I'm just gonna try the other route that is available to me, which is the bottom route here going straight in this way.
RWBY prepared themselves for hilarity.
Again, the "Left" choices: Shrink Ray, Pick, or Liquidificator?
Markiplier: Shrink Ray!
Weiss deadpanned. "Yeah, like that'll work."
"Shrinking's awesome!" Ruby countered. "Haven't you seen Ant-Man?"
"Ok, then tell me this," Weiss begins. "How'll he get back to regular size?"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Thought so."
Henry takes the shrink ray and points it at his head. Closing his eyes, he pulls the trigger, and the ray subsequently shrinks him down to the size of an ant.
Markiplier: Oh, ho ho ho! Oh god. That was very dangerous.
RWBY suddenly had a moment where instead of a shrink ray…it was a gun….
They shook their heads. No need for morbid thoughts.
Henry drops to the ground with a small thump. He looks up and sees a small opening.
Markiplier: Oh, I'm sure this won't end horribly.
"Even Mark's on my side," Weiss smirked.
"It could still work out," Ruby mumbles.
As Henry is walking, a worm pops out from the ground and roars/squeals, startling him.
Markiplier: Oh god!
The scene pans out and shows the worm returning to the ground, eating Henry. The "FAIL" appears, with the game saying, "Man, worms are so much more vicious up close!"
Markiplier: *Giggles*
Weiss smirked at Ruby. "You were saying?"
Ruby grunted. "Ant-Man's awesome."
He retries and the choices reappear. Mark chooses the "Pick" option. Henry begins picking at the wall.
Markiplier: Pick! Tink, tink, tink tink!
"I LOVE MINECRAFT!" Ruby suddenly pulled out an actual pick and made her way to the wall. Weiss intercepted her, took the pick, and threw it out the window.
"NO~!" She reached out the window uselessly, crying anime tears. "My pick."
Weiss crossed her arms. "I'll sooner give Jaune a kiss before I let you mess up the walls."
Ruby stared at her…before taking out her scroll to call Jaune.
"NOT LITERALLY!" Weiss took the scroll and forced Ruby back into the seat.
Ruby pouted all the while.
Henry's eyes widen as a Creeper from Minecraft approaches from behind and explodes. A hole is blown into a wall, knocking a bomb down.
Markiplier: Wee-he he he he he hey. Alright, there.
Ruby grumbled. "Darn Creepers. They ruin the fun."
Yang pat her sister's arm. "Yes they do, Ruby. Yes they do."
Henry picks himself up from the blast and finds he's in the World War II section.
Markiplier: Wha-I'm alive?!
"WHAT?!" Ruby screeched. "WHY DOES HE SURVIVE AND I DIE EVERYTIME?!"
WBY took a step back from their leader so she could calm down.
Ruby took several deep breaths.
…
…
…
…
Blake spoke up. "Better?"
Ruby nodded. "Much better."
Two guards are having a conversation…well, one is. The other is not interested whatsoever.
Talking Guard: Yeah, so apparently there was something in that cake, and he, uh, used it to escape. And then I got fired. Pretty lame, huh? Yeah, I only like this-.
Uninterested Guard: Ugh. Please. Shut up.
"Yeah!" RWBY shouted in agreement….
Well that was rude.
Why you gotta be so rude, RWBY?
The guard continues to talk to the uninterested guard. Henry weighs his options.
Markiplier: Wha-. *scoffs* There's no way! They wouldn't hear an explosion?! There's a freaking bomb right here!
Weiss groaned. "Even more incompetent guards. And who hires someone who got fired from a prison for causing a prisoner to escape?!
Weiss," Blake said. "I think we should accept that all the guards are incompetent."
Incompetent, indeed.
Three choices appear: Bombshell, Gun, or Plane? Mark goes with the bomb.
Markiplier: I'm gonna use that.
"That can't possibly be a bomb," Weiss remarks.
"It could be," Ruby countered.
"Why would they keep a live bomb in a museum, Ruby?"
"…It's gonna fail, isn't it?"
"Of course it is."
Henry tosses the bomb, which lands on the talking guards foot. The guard screams in pain…but otherwise, the bomb doesn't detonate, because it isn't a live bomb. The uninterested guard immediately fire at Henry, killing him. The "FAIL" appears, with the game asking, "Why would they keep live bombs in a museum?"
Markiplier: W-Well there, itchy trigger fingers!
"What did I tell you?" Weiss smirked.
I have to agree with Mark, though," Ruby said. "I would've just told the guy to surrender. He didn't need to kill him."
Blake shrugs. "That's what happens when you choose a life of crime."
The choices reappear. Mark goes with the "Gun" choice this time.
Markiplier: Gun?
"Second verse, same as the first," Weiss said. "Why would they keep a live gun in a museum?"
Ruby looked at Weiss. "Guns in the museums are real."
"Let me rephrase that: why would they keep a loaded gun in a museum?"
"…Okay, I see where this is going."
Henry breaks the glass, takes the gun, jumps at the guards, and fires at them…only to find that the gun isn't loaded. He makes an "oh shit" face as the uninterested guard points his gun at him.
The girls let out a laugh at the face Henry made. I mean, who wouldn't?
The "FAIL" appears, with the game saying, "Quick! Pretend you were joking!"
RWBY deadpanned. "That's not gonna work."
Markiplier: Oh yeah. Why would it be loaded? Cause I'm an idiot.
"Yes, you are," RWBY confirmed.
Again, why you gotta be so rude?
The scene with the guards plays out.
Markiplier: Oh shut up! I don't want to hear your story!
"We don't, either," RWBY again confirmed.
Odd. It's as though team RWBY can't help but feel the need to be rude for this particular part of the video….
It'll probably pass.
Uninterested Guard: Ugh.
Markiplier: Ugh, indeed.
Uninterested Guard: Please. Shut up.
Markiplier: Please.
RWBY nodded in agreement with Mark and the uninterested guard.
"Please do," they said.
Just bear the pain, readers. They'll stop being rude soon.
The choices reappear. Mark goes with the "Plane" choice.
Markiplier: Plane.
Weiss scoffed. "What's he going to do? Throw it at the guards?"
Henry throws the plane, which knocks the uninterested guard unconscious. Mark is bewildered by this.
…And so is Weiss. Her eye seemed to be twitching.
Markiplier (and Weiss): Why?
Weiss facepalmed at the completely coincidental moment while RBY snickered.
The talking guard runs off, intent on getting back up.
Talking guard: Uh-h, I gotta warn some-.
TWACK!
The talking guard runs into a pillar and is unconscious.
Weiss throws her arms up in exasperation. "Incompetent!"
"Calm down, Ice Queen," Yang said. "You need to chill out."
Everyone groaned at the horrible pun.
"Damn it, Yang!" RWB exclaimed.
Markiplier: *chuckles* Wha-Why?! This is baloney!
"I agree with you, Mark," Weiss said.
There is a fork in the path to the diamond. A guard stands at the entrance to the grand exhibit, but he's dozing off.
Weiss chose to stay silent lest she screams so loud the window breaks.
Henry hides behind a stone and considers his options. Two choices appear: Up or Left?
Markiplier: Grand Exhibit or the Res-ro-. Ub bur bur.
"Wait, what was that last one?" Ruby asked.
The other three shrugged. They couldn't really tell since Mark's head was in the way.
Mark gets confused about the arrows disappearing, but then he understands that he has to pick while the guard is asleep.
Markiplier: What the-? Oh, I see.
Mark picks the "Left" option.
Markiplier: Go now!
Henry speeds into the restroom before the guard can wake up.
Weiss barely holds back a shout of annoyance at the many incompetent guards in this museum.
Markiplier: Ahhahahahahahahahahahaha! I don't know where I went. What in the world?
Henry is in a…video game exhibit? He peeks through a door and finds the diamond as well as two guards.
Markiplier: Oh! Well why didn't I walk-. *Sees two guards* Oh well, walking in might've been a bad idea.
"Oh no, no," Weiss sarcastically remarks. "You would've been fine~. It's only two guards. If you're lucky, they're incompetent as well!"
The other three stared at the fuming heiress.
"…Feel better?" Ruby asked.
"…Yes."
Four choices appear: Metroid, Crowbar, Pokéball, or Mushroom?
Markiplier: Metroid, crowbar-. Oh! *claps in excitement* It's a "pick your favorite game!" Let's go with Half-Life! I love Half-Life.
"Who doesn't?" Weiss asks.
This elicits surprised looks from RBY.
"…What?"
"You play video games?" Ruby asked.
"Of course," Weiss responds. "Whenever I find time alone and my father doesn't notice, I play video games every once in a while. In fact, whenever a new game pops up, I have one of my servants pick up the first copy."
RBY was silent…until Yang broke it.
"We learn something new about you every day, Ice Queen."
"Whatever, brute."
Henry moves to get the crowbar, but then hears some strange sounds. He ignores it and goes for the crowbar, but the sounds continue. He finally looks up…and several Headcrabs pounce on him. He is more than likely dead.
Markiplier: Oh. AHH! I love Half-Life too much! Those are Headcrabs for those who don't know.
"We know," RWY says.
"I don't," Blake put in.
They stare at her strangely.
"…Blake," Ruby said. "When we have the time, we're playing Half-Life."
Blake just sighed in response, knowing this was non-negotiable.
The "FAIL" appears, with the game asking, "Why does that ALWAYS happen?
"I wish I knew, game," Weiss sighed. "I wish I knew."
Mark retries and chooses the mushroom this time.
Markiplier: Super mushroom?
Henry touches the mushroom and grows until he is giant. He smirks evilly.
Markiplier: Blewp, blewp blewp! Can't be a bad thing! Everything can only turn out great.
"I don't know," Yang said. "Being big kinda makes you unbeatable."
The guards hear a wall cave in. They see Giant Henry and one fires at him. The bullets prove to be ineffective. Henry smirks all the while.
Markiplier: Doesn't even hurt! Somehow being bigger makes me immune to bullets.
"Called it," Yang smirked.
Henry steps past an egg…which hatches. A baby pterodactyl is born this day!
"Aww," the girls, Blake included, cooed.
Three guards attempt to fight back. One fires a cannon, while another fires his gun. The last one is taken by the baby pterodactyl.
"Birdie, no!" Ruby yelled. "No eating people!"
"I don't think the birdie's listening, Rubes," Yang said.
Markiplier: Well, I expected this all is just as logical as what was happening-.
Henry crushes the glass case and picks up the diamond. He grins-.
Markiplier: -Okay. Well…alright then.
"Okay," Blake said. "He has the diamond. Now what happens?"
Henry is then hit by a cannonball, dropping the diamond and shrinking back to regular size.
"He gets hit by a cannonball," Weiss deadpanned. "That's what happens."
Markiplier: Ouchies! Am I dead?
Henry moves the cannonball aside and looks around.
"Nope," Ruby and Yang say, with the latter adding, "Still alive."
It's chaos in the area. A pillar falls, rubble is everywhere, the baby pterodactyl flies overhead, and the guards aren't sure what to do.
Markiplier: I better not be dead. What is going on in this insane world?!
That's what we'd like to know, RWBY thought….
But then they sighed.
Who were they kidding? This stopped making sense long before this chaos occurred.
The scene shifts to another place. The game and Markiplier say where it is.
Markiplier and Game: Somewhere in the Midwest. Center for chaos containment.
Markiplier: Chaos control! Uh, keyboard.
"Chaos control!" Ruby and Yang shout…then look to Weiss and Blake expectantly.
…
…
…
They sigh.
"Chaos control," they say half-heartedly.
Ruby and Yang shrugged. It was good enough.
A man at his station notices something on his display and calls for his superior.
Corporal: Uh, sir?
Markiplier: Eh?
Corporal: You might want to come look at this.
Markiplier: Might wanna come look at this.
"Don't repeat what he says," Weiss chided.
The superior approaches and lowers his sunglasses.
Corporal: I'm getting chaos readings-.
Markiplier: Chaos
Weiss's eye twitched. "Stop it."
RBY gave the heiress some space in case she rants.
Corporal: -at 10.6. It's coming from the museum.
Markiplier: Oh no.
Superior: My god.
Markiplier: My god.
Weiss grits her teeth, grabs Myrtenaster, and attempts to stab the computer screen. It takes the combined strength of Ruby (using Crescent Rose's recoil), Blake (using the ribbon as a rope) and Yang (in her Super-Saiyan state) to keep Weiss from following through on this act of violence that is unbecoming of the heiress.
Guess her teammates are a positive influence on her.
Eventually, Weiss calmed down, and they returned to the video.
Superior: It's over nine!
There is a pause as though there is more to that statement…but alas, that is all. The corporal is weirded out by this.
Corporal: Yeah.
Why did Team RWBY feel there should've been something else to add?
Superior: I'm leaving this decision up to you Corporal. Just hit one of those buttons-.
Markiplier: Oooo, do I get to pick?!
Superior: -to deal with this…pressing situation.
Yang scoffed. "That was terrible."
Turns out she was wrong…since her teammates were snickering.
"Hey! It wasn't funny!"
Blake smirked. "Better than your puns."
"You take that back!"
"I'm with Blake on this one," Weiss agreed.
"W-Well…Ruby's on my side! Right sis?"
Yang turns to see Ruby giving a straight face.
"Sis?"
"…Your puns suck."
"…Et tu, Ruby?"
Ruby nods.
Yang slumps. "You guys have no sense of humor."
"It's you who has no sense of humor."
Looks like Yang'll be crying herself to sleep, tonight.
CSI music can be heard as the superior leaves the corporal to decide.
Superior: Who's watching TV?! Get back to work!
Offscreen Worker: Oh! Sorry, chief. I'm going back to work.
"Was that CSI music?" Yang asked.
"You actually watch that?" Blake asked.
"Well, duh," Yang said as though it were fact. "It makes the police interesting."
They shrugged. It was true.
Markiplier: Is that something I get to pick too?
Four buttons (choices) are shown: Divide By Zero, Nuke, Mecha, or Satellite?
"Does that answer your question?" RWBY asked.
Markiplier: Oh, it is! I get-I get to move my big, grotesque finger!
"It's not that bad," Ruby said.
"Weiss scoffed. "Speak for yourself."
Markiplier: Oh there's so-! Divide by zero? Oh god, yes!
Ruby blanches. "No! Not that!"
Henry is just standing around when a calculator falls from above. He picks it up and a small robotic limb reveals itself. As Mark giggles like a fool, the limb types in "1337", which Henry smiles at. But then it presses the divide button, types "0", and presses equal. Henry is horrified by this, while Mark continues to giggle. The fabric of reality tears itself apart until it blinks out of existence. The "FAIL" appears, with the game saying, "Sorry, I just went to the bathroom. What'd I mi-Where'd… Where is everyone?" All while Mark giggles.
Markiplier: Ah…eheheheheheheheheh. Alright. Enough of me giggling like a fool.
"There's nothing funny about destroying the universe!" Ruby shouts.
"…" Weiss deadpans. "You do realize that won't actually happen, right?"
"Yes it will!"
Weiss sighs, then pulls a calculator from…somewhere.
"Fine. I'll just prove it to you."
She starts putting in the numbers-
"NOOOOOOOOO!"
Ruby grabs at the calculator and attempts to wrestling out of the heiress's hand.
"RUBY! Stop it!"
"NEVER! I won't let you destroy the universe!"
Blake and Yang just watch on, amused.
In a desperate attempt to prevent the unravelling of the universe itself, Ruby kicks Weiss in the shin.
THWACK!
"OW! MY SHIN!"
Weiss holds her shin, which forces her to let go of the calculator. Ruby takes hold of it and tosses it out the window.
"Phew," Ruby sighs in relief. "That was a close one."
She feels a dark Aura behind her. Ruby turns to find Weiss glaring daggers into her.
Ruby chuckles nervously. "Uh-."
"Anything you have to say before I give you an earful?"
"…I saved the universe?"
Blake and Yang put on earmuffs (the latter having to cover the formers extra set of ears) to escape the yelling of all yellings.
(One earful later)
Weiss controls her breathing as Ruby rubs her ears (which may or may not have been bleeding) while crying anime tears.
"Now," Weiss began. "What have we learned?"
"…Don't kick my BFF in the shin?"
"First, no. Second, not that, but still good to remember. What else?"
"…Don't throw my BFF's things out the window?"
Again, first no. Second, not that, but another good thing to remember. What else?"
"…" Ruby pouts. "Don't believe everything you read on the internet?"
"Good girl." Weiss pats Ruby on the head, then gives her a cookie. "Sorry I yelled."
Ruby accepts the cookie goodness, as well she should have. "It's okay."
Blake and Yang remove their earmuffs, and all four of them return to the video.
The choices reappear. Mark goes with the "Nuke" option this time.
Markiplier: Boop! Yeah! The nuclear option!
RWBY could already tell this was going to end badly.
Alarms begin to blare as a reference to a first-player shooting game appears on the top right corner, which states that a tactical nuke has been launched.
Markiplier: Uh…oh! It's a call of duty reference! Oh it's a call of shooter reference!
"Call Of Duty, Mark," Weiss corrects. "Call of Duty."
"You play that, too?" Ruby askes.
Weiss nods. "I'm the best. I kill everyone in my way." She then scowls. "Except for that sniper."
"Sniper?"
"Yes," Weiss confirms. "That camping jerk! Always sniping me when I get a killing spree! I swear, when I find out who XxXCookieLoverxRedRoseXxX is, I'm going to-."
Weiss stops and slowly turns to Ruby, who suddenly gets nervous.
"…XxXCookieLoverxRedRoseXxX?"
"…XxXWhiteSnowxDustHeiressXxX?"
Silence.
…
…
…
Weiss angrily points her finger at Ruby.
"YOU CAMPING LITTLE-!"
"IT'S A LEGITIMATE STRATEGY!"
It took a whole hour to convince Weiss to not kill Ruby then and there. She settled for having a match in Call Of Duty with the red reaper later.
Henry looks around in confusion…and then pouts. The nuke strikes, and everything goes green…not like that. A mushroom cloud is shown outside as everything is destroyed.
Markiplier: Uh oh. Well…everything went green. I don't think that normally happens in for the other.
Knew it, RWBY thought simultaneously.
The "FAIL" appears, with the game saying, "Don't feel too bad, he probably camped for the 25 kills he needed to get that nuke.
Weiss glares at Ruby.
"It's a legitimate strategy!"
Markiplier: Also-oh my goodness. Hmm.
Back to the choices. Mark picks the "Mecha" option.
Markiplier: Whatever the hell this thing is.
"I think that's a robot," Yang suggests.
"Probably," RWB agrees.
Alarms are blaring in the distance.
Markiplier: 'Kay.
What appears to be a meteor is seen crashing into the museum. It is revealed that it is, in fact, a mecha. It begins to destroy everything with a hammer and chainsaw.
RWBY gawks at what the Mecha's doing. It didn't look like a good choice.
Markiplier: That seems to be just doing more chaos! Why was that a good option?
"We don't get it either, Mark," Ruby sighes, patting the computer. "We don't get it either."
Henry is standing around as the Mecha destroys the museum. The diamond is a good distance away. A guard is caught in the rubble trying to reach for his gun. Henry sees the exit.
Markiplier: Could I just grab the diamond, please?!
"I'd settle for you just leaving and not stealing anything in the first place," Ruby admits. "Your choice, though. No one's forcing you to leave without the diam-."
"Ruby," Blake interrupts. "Just let it go."
"…Let it go~! Let it-."
SMACK!
"OW!" Ruby rubs her head in pain. "Why?!"
"Never. Sing. That. Song." Wiess grits her teeth. "EVER!"
Henry ponders on whether to make a hasty retreat or attempt to grab the diamond.
Markiplier: 'Kay. Indecisiveness will get you killed, sir!
"Truer words have never been spoken," Blake agreed, as did RWY.
Seeing that the museum is falling apart, Henry opts to escape.
Markiplier: Yes, thank you. Please, move along.
"Please do," RWBY said.
Henry is shown running away from the museum in slow motion, epic music playing in the background. The mecha is continuing with leveling the museum to the ground.
"Nothing like slow motion and epic music to make a game great," Yang says cheerfully.
Markiplier: Hehehehehehehehehehehe! Oh my god! That's so awesome! I know this is just stick figures and all, and it's supposed to be silly. But this is just really cool and well done! I mean, there's a lot of animators that came out of this whole, uh, "online gaming era" about…I don't know. 4 or five years ago?
"Online gaming era, huh?" Ruby wonders. "Wonder why we haven't noticed?"
She turns to Weiss. "Have you noticed?"
Weis ponders for a moment. "…I might have, but I've been too busy getting killing sprees to pay much attention."
She glares at Ruby. "As well as getting sniped after each killing spree!"
"It's a legitimate strategy!"
"NO IT'S NOT!"
Blake places a hand on Weiss's shoulder, with Yang doing the same to Ruby.
"You both need to calm down," Blake said calmly.
"Yeah!" Yang agrees. "You two can settle this later."
Ruby and Weiss glare at each other, but sigh and agree. Now wasn't the time for this.
Henry is seen having escaped from the chaos. As he's taking a breather, the diamond falls from the sky and lands near him. He notices it and beams in victory. He stands over the diamond in an epic pose.
"Aw man," Ruby whines. "He still got the diamond!"
"Let it go, Rubes," Yang said. "Let it go."
Weiss reaches for Myrtenaster.
"I wasn't singing! I wasn't singing!"
Weiss narrows her eyes, but otherwise puts away Myrtenaster.
Markiplier: I don't remember when this was released. There's another game made by this guy, or there's a lot of games made by this guy that I might play if you guys love…love this one.
The game ends and states that Mark won the EPIC way. Roll credits.
"Epic ending!" Yang exclaims. "The ending of all endings!"
Markiplier: I got the epic ending! That's even better than the aggressive one!
"Told ya."
Markiplier: Obviously, the undetected one is the most boring.
"Very much so."
RWB each elbows Yang in the ribs, signaling for her to shut up, which she does.
Markiplier: But, I hope you guys liked it!
"We sure did!" RWBY exclaims.
Markiplier: There's a lot more, uh, stuff that I probably didn't explore that you guys can find out for yourself. If you have not played this game yet, I highly recommend it. There's a lot of unique deaths and items that I did not get to use. So check it out in the description below. And if you want to see more from this guy or games like this, let me know in the comments below.
The game states, "You failed a total of 24 times with 24 of them being unique."
"Huh," Yang said "Guess he did fail 24 times."
They chuckle at Mark's gaming skills.
Markiplier: Thanks again everybody so much for watching. And as always, I will SEE YOU…in the next video! BYE-BYE!
"BYE-BYE!" Ruby and Yang shout and wave…then look to Weiss and Blake.
WB sighed and waved. "Bye-bye."
The video ends with funny music and links to other videos, as well as a loop reel of Henry running away from the museum.
RWBY smile as the video ends.
"Wow," Yang smiled. "Watching him play this was funny."
"Funny?" Ruby clarifies. "It was hysterical!"
Weiss giggles. "I think the funniest part was at the beginning when he accidently drove past those guards and crashed into some trash cans."
"No," Blake puts in with a chuckle. "I think it was when he jumped off that railing onto the casing for the diamond, thinking it would work."
"You're both wrong," Yang interjects. "It was obviously when he failed at the Falcon Punch."
"Nope!" Ruby cuts in. "As team leader, I'm always right! And I say the funniest part was when Henry made that face when he realized the gun was empty."
RWBY glared at each other, none backing down on this argument.
…
…
…
Blake smiles. "How about we agree to disagree?"
RWY looked at each other, then nodded.
"Good…now what?"
They look at Blake questionably.
"We finished the video, and we know what Mark looks like, so now what?"
Each member of RWBY put on a "thinking" pose.
…
…
…
"Well," Yang begins. "We know what he looks like, but only by face."
RWB looks at Yang.
"We need a full body look at him."
They think about it…and nod in agreement.
"So," Ruby said. "We need to watch another video?"
"Yup," Yang nods. "I'm sure he's done a skit or two somewhere in that list. We just need to find it."
Ruby nods. "Right, new mission! We must scour his many videos to find one that shows him in his entirety!"
Weiss and Blake roll their eyes, but smile nonetheless.
"TO THE VIDEO LIST!"
And so they began their quest of epic proportions.
A/N: And there we go. They finish the video and are now looking for a video skit Markiplier did. I've already decided which one it'll be.
Before that though, those two things other than college that kept me away from this fic….
I rewrote my OC story "The Idiot, The Assassin, The Fighter, and The Robot". Feel free to check it out. If OC stories aren't your thing…read it anyway, you might be surprised.
The second thing is a fic I published called "Winter Knight" where I bring to life a brand new ship that pairs Jaune Arc and Winter Schnee. I've rightly dubbed this ship Winter Knight. Feel free to check it out as well. It's awesome, considering the insane reception I got on it.
Now…I'm sure you're all aware of a tragedy that Mark has had to deal with in recent weeks involving the passing of his friend, Daniel Kyre. It's sad that this has occurred, and he will be sorely missed.
Rest in peace, Daniel.
In honor of Daniel, I've decided that the next chapter will be a special non-canon chapter where RWBY reacts to a Cyndago video or two (as in, from the Cyndago YouTube channel). If you have any suggestions for a specific Cyndago video, leave it in a review. It doesn't matter if Markiplier's in it or not.
After this special chapter, we'll return to this story's canon where RWBY will react to a skit. As suggested by Everhardt, they shall react to Mark's "Google IRL" video…with one surprise guest with them. I'm sure you all realize who it'll be.
With that said, if you haven't done so, be sure to follow and fav if you like the story and want to be kept up to date on future updates. Leave a review, as well as your suggestion for Cyndago videos for RWBY to react to for the special chapter dedicated to Daniel Kyre.
Well, that's all for now. See you readers in the next update!
LATERS!