Lin had always been fascinated by the Northern Lights. The colorful lights that seemed to dance with the night sky. She had never seen them in real life, only in the books and pictures. It's the most beautiful natural phenomena ever and so she decided that she wants to see it before she leaves the world.
There's something about the lights that comforts her and she lost count on how many times she begged her mother to let her come with Tenzin and his family to the northern water tribe when she was young. They were meant to join them one time to the southern water tribe and Lin was excited but two days later, her mother had given birth to her little sister, and the trip was cancelled. Lin threw the tantrum of the decade, screaming and crying at her mother. Toph had to send her to the Air Temple Island to stay for a week after her tantrum almost put baby Suyin in danger.
It was the first time Lin felt a growing frustration to her sister. Her baby sister who was only a few days old and already stole everyone's attention away from Lin. Lin was the youngest of all the kids and was used to being the center of attention so when her sister was born, Lin was jealous. The only person who doesn't seem to focus on the new baby was Tenzin and Lin was thankful for that. The two of them would spend most of their days together playing and sometimes, Tenzin would show Lin pictures of the Aurora Borealis. Tenzin remembered how it would bring happiness to her face and made a promise that he would someday bring her to see the northern lights.
When Lin was around twelve, her family and Avatar Aang's family went to Ember Island. It was a beautiful island. She was playing with Kya when she heard her little sister's faint scream in the background. When she turned around, Lin saw Suyin having trouble keeping afloat in the ocean. Lin had never been a great swimmer but that didn't stop her from running to her sister, working her arms to save her from drowning. Lin desperately clung to her sister before screaming for Kya. Suyin was saved by Kya's waterbending but then the waves were strong and Lin's flimsy strokes were nothing against it.
She remembered going under the water and feeling the salty water in her throat. It was painful and dizzying. She couldn't breathe and her eyes were stinging from the water. She remembered how her world turned black and when she woke up, she found herself surrounded by her family.
Kya was shaking but immediately relaxed when Lin opened her eyes. Her little sister, Su, was holding Lin's hands with tears rolling down her cheeks and towel wrapped around her. Toph immediately pulled her into a hug and Lin almost cried at her mother's embrace. Su was safe because Lin had saved her.
Even if that happened many years ago, Lin can still taste the salty sea water, the painful breathing like it was yesterday. It was as if the water had knocked every wisp of air from her lungs. That's how she feels right now. She couldn't breathe.
"Chief Lin Beifong?" She whipped her head at the voice, a woman in her thirties smiled at her. "Healer Kyuso will see you now."
Lin swallowed as if she was trying to compose herself, she fixed her coat before uncrossing her legs and standing up. She never liked hospitals. It reminded her of people dying. She dusted up the imaginary dirt from her skirt before following her to the office. She paled at the thought of entering the room. Her stomach churned and Lin could feel the bile slowly making their way to her throat but she swallowed it down. She managed to enter Kyuso's office without collapsing but by the time she sat in the chair, she was breathless.
"I'm sure you know why you're here, Lin." Kyuso looked at her solemnly. Lin had to look away to not see the pity in his eyes. Kyuso was a friend of hers, they weren't close but their parents were friends and it was natural for them to spend some time together.
"I know why I'm here, Kyuso." Lin muttered.
"How's life? I'm sure the station has never been busy. Are you getting enough sleep?"
Lin rolled her eyes, huffing at his attempt of small talks. "Enough with that. I'm not here to talk about the weather with you. Just get with it and tell me already. There's no need to drag this out."
Kyuso nodded slowly before sliding a folder to Lin's direction. "Your test results showed some abnormalities in your uterus. There are lumps that we found in your uterus and in the lining of the abdomen. I suggest that we take another test to determine your diagnosis."
Lin inhaled sharply, her knuckles turning white with how hard she was gripping the chair.
"Do you have any family members that have this disease? This can be genetic, that's why I'm asking you." Kyuso said, keeping his voice low and calm.
Lin opened her mouth before closing it before shaking her head. She stammered. "I don't know my father, I'm not sure but my grandmother Poppy was diagnosed with ovarian tumor but as far as I remember it was benign and she died of old age."
Kyuso nodded, a thoughtful look on his face. "In this case, it can be genetic. I guess your mother carried a recessive cancer cell and passed it onto you."
Lin felt a headache coming, she bit her thumb, a nervous habit she developed when she was young. "I have a sister, six years younger than me. She has five kids. Is it possible that she got it too?"
"I don't know about that but I suggest that you ask her to take a test to be sure." Kyuso answered.
Lin took a deep breath, leaning back on the chair as her mind was filled with worries and questions. Is this what it feels like to be sentenced?
"But I'm healthy. Are you even sure that it's cancer? For all we know, you made a mistake or my results were mixed up with the other patient." Lin was growing more and more restless and she was already standing up. Being restricted in the chair was making her crazy.
"Lin, you have the dominant cancer cell and they multiplied and grew enough for a symptom to happen and in your case, your simple pelvis pain is actually a symptom." Kyuso explained as properly as he could. "We can retake the test right now if you want. There's still something we can do. Surgery, heat therapy, and herbal therapy. There are researches and experiments for you to join in if you're interested."
"I know that!" Lin snapped out of frustration, slightly causing the man to cower a little. The amusement left her system and all she could do was glare at the piece of paper on top of the table. "But you don't know that." Lin stopped pacing and faced the healer. "Tell me, Kyuso, just how many patients of yours have survived this?"
"I know a lot of survivors, Lin, and I know you will be too." The healer said but it did nothing to calm the woman. "You're strong and I know you can survive this."
"I have to go. I'm afraid I've left the station for too long and I'm sure they are looking for me. You can't tell anyone about this or I swear, I will throw your ass in jail." Lin threatened before walking out of the room and no matter how many times Kyuso called her to come back, she just ignored him.
She's dying.
Not yet anyway but she might as well be with the news she received. Lin wanted to shut the world out and just deny what Kyuso said to her.
Lin loathed her grandmother for trying to take her away from Toph when she was younger but now, Lin wondered if Poppy just took her under their care, what would Lin's life be like? She's probably in Gaoling and not in Republic City, married to a noble man, with children to continue the bloodline. A Beifong noble lady who only knew poise and elegant life, a woman who knows nothing of earth and metal. She'd be miserable. She'll still have cancer.
Lin laughed at that thought. She'll be miserable in both lives. Maybe she was destined to have a doomed life. Then her eyes would land at the Air Temple Island and Lin would create another possible outcome. What if she had agreed to marry Tenzin and have his children, would she be happy? Does she even love Tenzin enough to give up her life? The answer? Lin doesn't know for she didn't marry Tenzin and had his children.
After ignoring Kyuso's plea for her to come back and fleeing his office, Lin walked and walked until she found herself in the bar she frequently used to go with her colleagues with a glass in her hand. She brought the glass to her lips a couple of times but she couldn't seem to take a sip of it. Maybe it's because of the sense of responsibility or that she just learned that her cancer came back, but Lin would always put the glass down and technically, she's still on duty.
The past few years have been stressful for her, with the station busier than usual and making sure that the avatar doesn't die, she hasn't found the time to really take care of herself, then Kuvira's attack on the Republic City happened. She only grew more and more worried about the safety of the people she loves.
"Rough day at work?" A man who looks like in his early seventies said behind the counter. He was the bar owner. Lin almost couldn't recognize the man.
Lin hummed, tilting her head a little to the side. "You could say that. Crime never stops but this is more of a personal business."
Kaito nodded as he placed down the glass he's wiping on the counter. "I kept forgetting that you're a Chief now. How's work by the way? Is the Goldenrod Triad still giving the station a headache? I remember during my police days, your mother and I would chase them all over the city."
"That triad is long gone, Kaito. You were supposed to take over the Chief of Police position after mom retired, right? but you resigned." Lin swirled the liquid in her glass. "You dodge a bullet there. It sucks. Never-ending paperworks, and politicians telling you how to do your job. I would've resigned if I had a chance."
"But you didn't." Kaito said, his voice almost sounded like he was sympathizing with her.
Lin nodded slowly. "I didn't."
"You know, if someone heard you say that, the tabloid will have a field day. Chief of Police, Lin Beifong, regrets being a police." Kaito grinned while Lin just shrugged. "The media is a lot harsher than before."
"I don't care about what they say." Lin is no stranger to the media and she had faced a lot of harsh comments, it comes with the job. And she is also the greatest earthbender's daughter and the avatar's son's ex-girlfriend. Lin tried not to let it get to her.
"You sound awfully just like your mother." Kaito whistled as he pulled the chair to sit opposite her. "Which brings me to the question, where's Toph? How is she? That woman is a real pain in the ass. So stubborn and hard headed."
"Last time I heard she was visiting Zaofu. That old hag is still alive surprisingly." Lin said which earned a laugh from the man. It surprised Lin on how easy it left her lips without a hint of bitterness.
Kyuso shared stories about her mother and Lin tried to focus on his storytelling but her mind was flying somewhere.
She thought about Toph, the mother she tried so hard to please and to make her proud. She had always idolized Toph Beifong from the moment she learned how to talk. She grew up hearing stories about her mother's adventures with the avatar and remember looking at her mother like she was the most important person in the world after Avatar Aang. But life as Toph's daughter is a curse as much as it is a blessing. Life as her daughter was like the rock itself, hard and uncomfortable. She did everything to gain her mother's attention and compliments. She had the perfect grades, top of her class, and never disobeys. Lin did it to make her mother happy but it never made Toph happy. Lin entered the Republic City's Police Department in hopes to get her mother's attention only to be humiliated by her own mother and sister.
But that's all in the past now. They had forgiven each other for their mistakes.
"By the way, how's your family? Your son and wife?" Lin asked when the old man finished his story.
Kaito smiled before looking down, letting out a sigh in the process. Lin frowned at his sudden change of expression. "Junior is in Fire Nation. Got himself a nice job and a wife, they have two sons. Couldn't be more proud of my boy, but my wife…Yumi passed away six years ago. She had leukemia. It was diagnosed too late and we don't have the money for her treatment."
Lin stiffened at his revelation. Her grasp around the glass weakened and she had to put it down so the drink won't spill on her. "Leukemia? I'm sorry, I had no idea." Lin offered her condolences.
Kaito shook his head, giving her a small smile. "Thank you. I scraped up money as much as I could for the treatment. I tried going back to the police but my injury got in the way. My legs were terribly crushed and it's also the reason why I had to leave the force." Kaito pulled his pants up, revealing his prosthetic legs. "I used our life savings for her treatment and even put this bar on a mortgage but it wasn't enough. The treatment was so expensive and her body was starting to give up and I remember praying that the spirits would just take her so that her pain will stop."
Lin listened to his words and wondered how long it would take before she experienced it. Lin was pouring salt in her own wounds. That's always been Lin. She's a masochist, a martyr, and she'll die a martyr.
"Yumi was my greatest love, so it was hard for me to see her in pain. She was dying and I couldn't do anything. I wanted to take her pain but I'm no god. When she died, I was heartbroken but at least she won't be in pain anymore."
Lin doesn't know Yumi much but she remembers the woman who would often come visit the station to bring lunch for her husband. Lin remembered how kind Yumi was to her, who just graduated from the police academy. Yumi would always give her lunch and didn't treat Lin any differently when she found out that she is Toph Beifong's daughter.
From a young age, Lin learned the value of their name. She would notice how people treat her once they find out that she's a Beifong but being a Beifong comes with a lot of expectations and responsibilities. They have a legacy and a name to uphold.
"You could've come to us. You know we would have helped you." Lin said, her eyebrows furrowing together.
Kaito nodded. "I know but your mother has done enough in helping us. She's actually the one who lent me the money to build this bar, you know? She's a great friend. I know you and your mother had a troubled past but I've known her before you were born. I was there when you were born and I can tell you that Toph loves you. She just has a different way of showing it." Lin remained silent and Kaito had to return to his work anyway. The day was almost ending and customers were beginning to swarm the small bar.
Toph had never been the one to show her affections openly and for years, Lin resented her for the nights she spent crying herself to sleep wondering why her mother doesn't love her. But as Lin grew up, she started understanding her mother. Toph wasn't exactly the best mother in the world but she tried her best.
It only dawned to her the moment she walked out of the bar that her days are numbered.
Lin has never been optimistic. She prefers logic over emotion but her family—she knew that her death will kill them. Lin is not scared of death considering her choice of profession. It's inevitable, bound to happen but she never really thought about dying. She just thought that she would die on duty or of old age.
Lin pondered on how she would tell her sister and mother that she's sick. Su is too soft and no doubt, the news will affect her greatly and her mother, Toph would shut down, then there's Tenzin. Lin doesn't know how they will take the news. Lin thought she was past the stage of worrying about the people around her but she was wrong and this time, she was even more scared.
Is this how her life will end? Lin never asked for much. She'd always been a giver, never a taker. This is her life in a nutshell. Was this the reward for her hardwork and loyalty? A disease that will take her life?
It was already dark when Lin returned to the station. It was busy as usual and it instantly gave her a sense of calmness and normality. It's been her home for the past three decades. The Police department was her mother's legacy first and foremost but it was Lin who brought honor and molded it to the police it is now.
This is her legacy now.
"Chief! Thank spirits you're here!" Haru exclaimed in relief when he saw her, almost tripping as he ran to her. "We received a distress call earlier saying that the monsoon triad is causing trouble in the 5th street. Deputy Saikhan is already there with two of our airships. He was looking for you but he couldn't find you."
Lin let out an irritated sigh, mentally slapping herself for straying out far too long. "Very well. Ready another airship. I'm going there."
"Are you sure, Chief Beifong? I don't want to overstep my boundaries but you looked kind of pale. I think it's better if you just stay here and let me go there." Lin raised her eyebrow at him but Haru stood his ground. "Don't get mad at me, Chief. I'm just looking out for you and think of this as a test since you're already training me to take over your position someday. I can prove myself worthy as your successor."
Lin started training Haru on the ways of how to run the station. Haru was Lin's choice of successor. He was only twenty nine and he had shown backbones and not afraid to speak for what is right. Saikhan was supposed to take over once Lin retired but his actions and involvement in Tarlokk's corrupt police force made Lin change her mind. She doesn't want to leave the station in the hands of someone who's easily swayed.
Lin nodded. "Very well but don't get too excited. I'll be in contact with you and you will not do anything without my orders. You hear me, kid?"
Haru beamed before nodding excitedly. "Yes, ma'am." The operation had gone smoothly thanks to Haru's and Saikhan's leadership. Lin is proud of her officers though rarely she says it.
Lin prides herself in the way how she can easily dodge an attack, on how agile she is, and how she never backs down to a challenge. The world had always been Lin's greatest enemy. Lin despises the world. It's always been Lin versus the world. Lin never won in the battles but she never backs down.
And now, the world is testing her again.