There was an eerie silence that filled the room that I was in. I opened the windows to get some things to listen to other than my thoughts. But the chilling wind only added to that eerie silence that I found myself indulged in. The sun was beginning to set, and the orange glow of the sun illuminated the room, but that eerie silence that was still present in the clubroom, and it was prominent and emotional. This was the very room where we spent our days at, the room in which the relationship between us blossomed into something genuine, but reality was not that kind. I concluded that I knew I was going to end; I knew I was going to end up with nothing. But still, for some reason, it still hurts grasping the reality of our situation.

My confession to Yukinoshita backfired. We ended up parting ways and I couldn't say or do anything that would change her mind, even in the slightest. During that night, on that bridge, I couldn't bring myself to accept that I lost the girl I yearned for, the girl that I admired all this time. The club was disbanded, and I found myself alone in the clubroom, drowning myself in my sorrows. I had the cup they gave me, even though it had nothing in it, I still had it on the table for reasons I couldn't explain well.

As I was stuck in this moment, a knock was heard from the door. I didn't say anything, but they still entered anyway.

"Sensei…" I said looking over to her.

She didn't say anything, so I returned back to my normal position.

"I'm sorry, Hikigaya." She managed to say something after a brief pause.

So, I guess she managed to get her ears on our situation. But from who? Yukinoshita? She did disband the club after all, so it's not much of a surprise if she ended up talking to Sensei.

"So, you knew?" I said nonchalantly.

"From Haruno, yes."

Haruno, huh? I guess she managed to read through her sister because it's not likely that Yukinoshita talked directly to her about this.

"I see."

She pulled a seat and sat down near me. "Are you okay?"

I figured she knew the answer to that already, so there was no point in lying. The club was disbanded, but I came to the club every day just to reminisce about the memories that we shared with each other.

"What do you think? I've been going to the club everyday even though it's been disbanded."

"I see," She paused for a few seconds. "I'm proud of you, Hikigaya. Taking initiative for your feelings and entering the unknown takes stones. It just goes to show that you are willing to do anything for the right cause, or for the right person."

"But I was rejected…"

I couldn't feel any pain right now. I was numb to everything; all I can think about is what I could've had with her. The past is full of regret, as they say.

"But you took a step forward, and that's what's important. You would've been stuck thinking about what could've been, but now you're in a position to really grow as a person."

She says that, but even if I didn't do anything, I'll still be stuck on the idea of what could've been between us. I didn't say anything to her yet, but she continued anyway.

"You have these feelings that you can't do anything with, and it's no different for the other two. You guys are all working toward the same end goal, but the way you'll all grow differently, and you'll all learn from this experience. I want you to know that this won't last forever, it'll eventually subside into the past, becoming a memory. I won't be here anymore so please take care of yourself, Hikigaya." She said standing up, as I looked up to her.

"I have to go now." She says.

"Sensei wait," I said, surprising her with my response. "Thank you for everything. I can't thank you enough. So just… thank you."

Words couldn't convey my feelings that I had for her. She did everything she can for us, for me, and now she's leaving. She put me on the right path, but even being put on the right path doesn't exclude you from the cold world that lies out there.

She started to tear up a bit before answering. "Thank you too, for being the best student I ever had,"

As we were sharing this moment, she spoke again. "Maybe we can go out for ramen one of these days? This doesn't have to be the end of anything."

She lightened the mood, and I smiled. "Sure, just shoot me a message whenever."

She smiled in response. "See you later." She waved me off, exiting the room.

Hypothetically speaking, if you had the chance to go back in time and relive any one moment, like in a game, would you do it? Nothing would change regardless of the answer you gave. The moment you had settled on a decision, it was already too late to take it back. Plus, there was no point in thinking about it because you would only make you depressed because there is no way you can change the events of the past.

At one point or another, you'll lose everything. You can't stop things from ending in this world, that's the truth.

One day, sure enough, you'll look back on the things you had lost as if they were treasures you had come to adore and as if they were similar to the happiness of drinking sake by yourself.

But still, even so… I'm still going to continue searching. Whether it's in a year, or 20 years, I'm still going to have that desire until the day I die.

I decided it was late and I ended up packing up and locking up the doors. Because of the nice weather, I decided to go to the roof and get a view of the sunset before heading home.

When I arrived at the roof, my presence startled a familiar person who was seen staring off into the sunset. That person was Kawasaki Saki.

"W-what are you doing up here?"

"I came for some fresh air." I said walking over to the balcony.

As I was staring off into the sunset, she spoke to me. "Are you okay? You don't look too good."

"I'm fine."

Just from the looks of my eyes, anyone can easily tell that I've been going through hell. "Well, I figured you weren't going to be honest. But everyone knows your guys' situation, so I'm assuming it's tied to that."

"If I said I wasn't okay, what would you do? Assure me? Don't bother with someone like me, Kawasaki."

I don't need anyone feeling pity for me after everything went down. I don't need anyone bothering me. I just want to be left alone.

"Well, I think it's normal for you to be pushing people away like this. I'll just try again tomorrow." She said walking away.

I didn't have the energy nor the drive to run after her to get some clarification. Rather, I looked off into the sunset, watching it slowly get covered by the building.

Kawasaki, huh? Maybe that bit of human interaction would knock me out of this pitiful state. I haven't socialized with anyone in a while, so maybe this can act as a catalyst of some sorts.

But either way, I must come to terms that I lost the two people that I never wanted to lose. Maybe in the future we can patch things up, maybe in the future I can find someone that will make me feel the same way I felt for her. But this is all "what if" scenarios. They were meaningless, and all they do is give you false hope and that would eventually get shattered by reality.

As expected, I'm back to my roots, I'm back to being alone. But this time was different. This time I didn't want to be alone, but I couldn't change the events of the past so I have to deal with the reality that was given to us.

I wonder… does anything genuine truly exist?