Disclaimer - i do not own Arrow.

She was just a stepping-stone for him, a bump in the road that led to bigger and better things she knew. To his what she hoped to be a bright and happy future.

She wasn't sure when this thing between them started.

Wasn't sure when fierce looks had turned into heated touches.

Touches that turned into frenzied rendezvouses.

The first time it had happened was in the foundry after a particularly heinous criminal had been dealt with, but only after leaving Oliver with a few cracked ribs and a hollow heart from killing the man.

It was a way for them to escape from their own heads and only focus on each other. Even if it was for a couple of hours.

Oliver's body fairly molded to hers as he crushed her into one of the metal pillars of the lair in their haste.

A pillar that she could no longer look at without drudging up the memories of his flaming touch that left liquid fire on her skin in its wake.

He didn't mention it the next day. Not a word was spoken between them about the incident and if Digg had noticed anything different in his two partners and friends the next day, he didn't let on.

She had convinced herself it was a one time thing, a single heat of the moment act of desperation on both of their accounts.

The next time it happened at her house.

It was on one of the Arrow Team's rare nights off and she had decided to enjoy it by staying at home and watching shows that she had missed between her life as Oliver Queen's girl Wednesday and the Arrow's IT specialist. If she had gotten a food coma in the process then so be it.

She had called it and early night, taking the initiative to actually sleep more than the usual three or four hours a night that she usually got.

It was around that time that she had noticed she was getting a lot more tired than she usually would have been.

After two years of working her two taxing jobs she had gotten accustomed to the minimal amount of sleep that she was getting but for the last couple of weeks she seemed to be tired from the moment she woke up and would get gradually more and more exhausted as the day wore on.

She had pushed all those thoughts aside at the time, chalking it up to more stress than usual. If that was even possible.

The sound of tapping on her bedroom window was what had woken her up.

She didn't ask questions, just got up from her bed, opened the window latch and let him into her home. Her bedroom. For she had long ago unknowingly and without permission from her brain let him into her heart.

He was buried deep within her in minutes, his leathers strewn around them on her floor. They hadn't even made it to her bed.

There were no words of explanation – none where needed.

She knew he was using her. She knew it was unfair to her. Hell, she even knew that the guilt about this would eat away at him for touching her, for letting himself use her body the way he did.

A small part of her even relished in the fact that he would be engulfed in guilt for doing this to her, for it made up for a bit of the pain that she knew she would feel come morning when her bed would be empty and cold. With only the scent of his cologne in the air and the soreness between her thighs to confirm that it wasn't just a dream.

For his regret and guilt from being with her would be the most blinding kind of pain for in her chest. In her heart that had long ago been shattered.

And so it continued. Always behind closed doors, away from the prying eyes of their team members and friends.

They never spoke about what occurred between them, and it was business as usual for Team Arrow. One bad guy at a time.

Sometimes it was hard and rough, bordering on harsh.

Both of them worse for wear after the event. Her with bruises on the skin of her arms and hips from his grip as he pummeled into her. Him with long scratches along the expanse of his back and crescent like moon shapes on his biceps from her nails where she had broken the skin.

Other times it was soft and slow, as if he was scared to break her, and she hated this the most.

She hated that he thought she was weak. That she couldn't handle herself and everything that he had to offer. She knew him better than anyone else, better than even he knew himself so when he hid himself from her in the moment that mattered most she felt like he was deceiving her. Lying to her.

Because he thought she was weak.

The weakest link of the team.

She could heal from physical hurt, the emotional damage caused from his slow hands against her body however created a scar she wasn't sure she could recover from.

She had long ago learned to disregard the bags under her eyes, with the full knowledge that it from lack of sleep and stress. Stress from her jobs, stress over worrying about her friends and family. Stress from her heart continually breaking while watching Oliver with other women. He didn't sleep with them, of that she was sure, but it didn't stop them from throwing themselves at him, trying to get even a piece of him.

They just weren't aware that there were no more pieces left to take. The island had taken them all until he was almost a shell of a man.

And stress from the aftermath of every night spent with him.

But looking at herself properly for the first time in months, she couldn't help but notice her clothes didn't sit quite right. She stripped in front of the mirror of her bathroom and looked at her body, taking inventory of the changes that she saw.

Her hair had lost its usual bounce and sheen, no longer falling in the wavy ringlets she was used to seeing.

She had noticed for the first time that her collarbones and hipbones were sticking out drastically. She could visibly see the outline of her ribs.

Finger shaped dark blue bruises on her hips stuck out visibly on her sickly pale skin. Bruises she was used to, but they had never been so dark. Or had her skin never been this pale?

Something was wrong. How had she not noticed this before?

Because Oliver had consumed her. Her days were all about Oliver Queen. All her nights were spent with the Arrow. And her time off? Well that was spent with a broken vigilante.

Every fiber of her being belonged to him.

And hiding that fact was getting harder by the day. Hiding the pain she felt when he acted like nothing had happened between them, was happening between them. Hiding that pain cut through her like a jagged and rusty knife.

She had made an appointment with the doctor weeks ago and had undergone all sorts of tests and checks. Now would be the second time she sat in the hard hospital chair staring at the white wall in front of her, only this time she was waiting to be called in and notified of the results.

Leaving the office hadn't been easy, the steady stream of questions from both the men she worked with were thrown her way without fail since telling them last night that she had to leave the office early that day.

She wouldn't cave and tell them were she was going, especially if there turned out to be nothing wrong. They didn't need to worry about this, didn't need yet another thing to make them think her to be weak. She didn't need their pity – she didn't even think she could handle it.

So she masterfully evaded all their questioning and scoffed outright at Digg's jab at her about going on a date, failing to notice in her frustration Oliver's shoulders sag in relief when she told them it was certainly was not a date she was going to.

"Felicity Smoak?"

Her heart plummeted into her stomach at the words; her name being called out was like a cold bucket of water being poured over her head.

It was time to face reality, she wasn't living in a fairytale, the good girls didn't get the happily ever after they read about in books while growing up.

All she had gotten was fleeting moments of happiness amidst days of chaos and despair.

She stood up, squaring her shoulders and ready to face the music, with the single knowledge that whatever she found out today, it would be her cross to bear alone.

Please review - LOVE to all - Stace X