I guess love just wasn't enough for us to survive
Lin chuckled bitterly as she kicked the small rock with her boots. She can hear all kinds of whispers around her but she couldn't care less. Why would she even get defensive when it's the truth? That the man she's been dating since she was twenty-four just dumped her for a much younger girl. Lin wasn't even sure if the girl was done with puberty.
A flash of red and yellow caught her gaze followed by blue. Lin felt all eyes on her, either looking at her with pity or with judgement. Who wouldn't judge her when she just threw a girl in prison, let alone an acolyte. So imagine the faces of her officers and few other citizens inside the police department when the newly established Chief of Police dragged a woman, no, a girl.
When Toph Beifong became the Chief of Police of the Republic City, her first arrests were a legendary one, having arrested the corrupt and abusive businessman. It was in the newspaper for weeks but Lin Beifong, she's truly her mother's daughter. If Toph's first achievement were grand, Lin went grander. People expect her, being Toph's daughter, to be just like her mother but never in the world do they expect her first arrest as the Chief of Police is dragging an air acolyte with a furious monk in tow.
It would certainly be in the newspaper for weeks.
"Lin." The Chief of Police bit her lips before facing the airbending master. Everything went silent, it was painfully quiet that Lin could almost hear Tenzin's breathings.
"Councilman Tenzin." Lin nodded in his direction as if she didn't arrest one of his acolytes. It's one of the things Tenzin hates about Lin, her ability to be stubborn and oblivious if she wants.
"Chief Beifong." Tenzin replied with the same tone.
I swear, I swear, I swear I tried
The atmosphere was unbearable and Lin just wanted to down the whole bottle of the amber colored liquid down and sleep. She felt empty and broken but tears won't come because she's a Beifong and Beifongs don't cry. Those are the words her mother drilled in her head the minute she learned how to talk.
"Why Lin? Just why?" Tenzin whispered, almost choking on tears. "How could you do this? How can you be so heartless?"
Lin didn't even move or flinch at his words as she looked at her boyfriend, her amazing and patient boyfriend who, despite her baggage, loved her. Staring at those grey eyes, she couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth and so she lied.
"Because I don't want it." Lin tried to sound as if it didn't bother her but she sounded pitiful. Pathetic. "I don't want it, Tenzin."
It's amazing how well she could easily lie without giving away any signs of lying. But even the lies can't make it go away because the pain is still the same. The anger is still there. The hurt is still there.
Tenzin stared at her in disbelief, his mouth opening and closing, having trouble forming words to reply at her nonchalant reply.
"Bullshit!"
Tenzin rarely curses and as much as possible, he wants to avoid it all together because he's a monk, for spirit's sake. But there are times he'd slip up and today is one of those times.
"That's bullshit, Lin. Completely bullshit."
Lin found it hilarious, she even chuckled. "You said bullshit."
But Tenzin wasn't amused. Glaring at her, watching her with an outrageous look. He couldn't believe the woman in front of him. He felt like he didn't even know her anymore. She felt like a stranger. How could she find the time to joke after what she just did? How could she chuckle when he can't even think straight after he found out that his girlfriend just had an abortion.
I'm so unlucky I can't breathe
"No, there's no need for that." Lin kept her eyes on the flower base as she listened to Katara narrate what happened in this complete fiasco. "I won't press charges, I'm sure Lin had a good reason on why she did it."
Getting dumped for a twenty one year old is a perfectly good reason for her to arrest that girl, Lin muttered under her breath to which they heard. Shu, one of the officers who's handling the cases, looked at her with wide eyes before looking at Tenzin then looking at the acolyte in the cell. Smart man.
Katara cleared her throat. "But I do expect an apology and I want the damage to be fixed."
Lin grimaced, remembering the chaos she unfolded in the Air Temple Island. She heard Shu meekly replied. "Of course, Master Katara." While glancing at Lin. "B-but what about the acolyte girl...in the cell? The one, Chief arrested?"
Poor Shu, stammering in front of the three. Lin made a mental note in her head to give Shu a vacation after this whole event settled, assuming that she won't be removed from her position.
"We can't keep her here overnight because technically...she didn't do anything...wrong?" Shu gulped down. "She can leave now, uh, Chief?"
Lin blew her hair before unlocking the cuff from the acolyte's hand with a flick of her hand. Poor girl was nearly in tears, rubbing her wrist as Tenzin met her halfway, offering his hands for support. Lin could feel the eyes behind her back.
She is embarrassed. Not because of what she did, she couldn't care less about her actions. But his action is what embarrassed her. It hasn't been a day yet since they broke up and he can already be seen with another woman.
Lin ignored the pain in her chest as she stood up. "Get her out of my building."
Pema nodded as she hurriedly left the room with Tenzin on her heels. Tenzin gave her one last look of disappointment before leaving to follow the acolyte.
Katara stayed behind for a little more, talking with Lin and offering her support but Lin just wasn't in the mood.
"Tenzin told me." Katara whispered, placing her hand on the younger woman's shoulder. "I won't ask you why you did it because it's your choice, your own body but that doesn't mean I agree with your actions. If you want someone to talk to, someone to cry to, I'm here. If you want to talk about the abor-"
Lin stopped the older woman before she could finish her sentence. Looking around to check if anyone heard but Shu is busy with the reports and no one is near enough to listen to the hush voice of the waterbender.
"Katara." Lin pursed her lips. She's grateful for the older woman's support even though she just destroyed their island. "Thank you but I'm fine. I'll be there on the island tomorrow morning with a few of my officers to fix the damage but for the meantime, you can leave. I'm sure Tenzin is waiting for you outside."
You took the life right out of me
Lin looked down, avoiding his eyes. She just got home and wasn't expecting to find him in the hallway of her apartment with his back against the wall in the middle of the day when he should be in the middle of his council meeting right now. Lin shook his shoulder awake and Tenzin woke up confused why he's in her apartment until he met her eyes.
She could feel his eyes boring at the back of her head as she proceeded to open her apartment door but the operation made her weak and shaky. Tenzin snatched the keys from her hands and opened the door, Lin had to bite her lips from wincing when she felt the keys scrape her the skin of her palm.
Tenzin threw the three pregnancy tests on the table, an angry expression masking his whole face.
Lin doesn't know how he found out, she hasn't even told him that she's pregnant, was pregnant, but he did.
"Did you do it?" Tenzin demanded angrily, his eyes going back and forth between her eyes and her stomach.
Lin was tired and in pain. All she wants to do is just to lay in her bed and sleep. Her body is in pain and heart feels heavy and there's no way she wants to discuss it with Tenzin. In the morning, she'll tell him but not today, not when she is empty.
Lin ignored his desperation and walked past him, hoping that he'd let it go for tonight but she was wrong because his next words sent chills so cold, Lin felt numb all over her body.
"You killed our baby!" Tenzin roared, slamming his hand on the table and sending a breeze of air in all directions. "You killed our baby and you act like it's nothing!"
Lin faced the council, thankfully Tenzin wasn't there. She was given a warning for her actions. They told her if she did one more irresponsible act, she can kiss her Chief of Police position goodbye. Needless to say, Lin spent the next two hours nodding at their every word as they talked about how she made the Police Department look like a fool and angered non-benders for arresting a non-bender acolyte.
Lin got home at around seven o'clock, she just finished interrogating two criminals, and a bunch of paper works that left her irritable and grouchy.
She pushed the door of her apartment open before carelessly throwing the keys on the table. Sighing in content to finally be alone and in the safe of her own home. She took off her armor and took a quick bath to freshen herself. Lin was just about to throw herself to her bed when she accidentally crashed into a box, sending all the contents on the floor.
Things like a stuffed badgermole, plain white onesies and few more baby items but what caught her eyes was the black and white sonogram of her child. Lin dropped on the floor, the sight took her breath away and Lin was scared she'd run out of oxygen but she managed to calm herself.
Her shaky hands reached for the picture, fingers tracing the outline of her baby while her other hand rested on top of her stomach.
And she cried.
She cried as she cursed the world for its unfairness. She cried for the baby she lost, whose life was taken too early. Lin would never tell Tenzin that she lost it, that she had a miscarriage. She had to go through the abortion because the child in her womb is no longer alive.
Lin just felt the heartbeat of her child. At first, she was scared at the unfamiliar movement inside her stomach but she's happy. Lin is happy. She was going to tell Tenzin but she never got the chance because it was taken from her six hours later.
She grieves for her dead child she will never meet. The child she created with Tenzin, the love of her life, who has now moved on from her. The love of her life who called her heartless. She couldn't bear to see him that she lost the baby, she doesn't want him to get hurt. She told him that she doesn't want it but the truth is, she wants it. She wants that baby.
That day, Lin felt truly alone. No Tenzin on her side. Her mother went to who knows where. Sister who ran away after she scarred her older sister's face. Father who she never met. And her baby is gone. She can no longer feel its heartbeat she grew to love and enjoy. Lin wants to spare Tenzin the same pain she felt and so she lied.
"Why can't I hear anything? I'm supposed to hear the heartbeat right?" Lin asked worriedly, her chest contacting as she shook her head at the healer. "I just felt her move this morning? Is there something wrong with my baby?"
She cradled her stomach protectively.
The healer looked at her with sad eyes. "I'm sorry Lin but I'm afraid there's no more heartbeat."
I'm longing for your heartbeat