Greetings readers of fic! This is my first Scrubs story, so it might be a little, err, crappy. But I'll do my best to make it work! Anyway, this story is an AU Scrubs/Dead Like Me crossover. I also have to give a little credit to the show Titus since a little bit of the plot was inspired by the episode: The Protector. And it's written in JD's POV. Yup, that's about it.

Lawyers: Our client does not own Dead Like Me or Scrubs.

My Deadly Little Secret

I've seen a few attempted suicide patients during my time hear at Sacred Heart, and before that I've even witnessed a couple, ahem, hundred suicides that one year in the late seventies when I was dating a smoking-hot reaper who had been part of the division assigned to the Jonestown case. Hmm, I wonder why that didn't work out.. ("Hey honey, do you want some Kool-Aid?" she asked with a nasally laugh that, while annoying, wasn't quite as annoying as the joke she found the need to say at least twice a day.)

"It's just not funny when you were there," I mutter out loud.

Out of all these suicides I've seen, attempt or otherwise, none of them have seemed, well, quite as off as it does with the patient before me. Her name is Brooke Castello and this is the second time she's been in the hospital for attempted suicide. Something just seems a little odd about her case, but I can't quite put my finger on what that is.

Walking into her room, I greeted her with a smile, and she greeted me with the finger, but I wasn't fazed since I had been her doctor before and a personality like hers in a little hard to forget. I scanned her chart to refresh my memory: Brooke Castello, sixteen years old, mother: deceased, currently living with step-father, several shallow cuts to both wrists.

"So Brooke," I say, "How have you been?"

"I just tried to kill myself," she says bluntly and with a tone that just cries, 'Duh! ' but before I'm even given a chance to respond, she continues on, "Oh, but you're probably wondering why. Is that it? Well, maybe I'm just so broken up because I just can't find a decent guy to take me to homecoming. Or maybe they stopped making my favorite shade of pink nail polish. Maybe my dog ran away. Wait, I don't even have a dog. Maybe that's it. Maybe all I really wanted was a puppy!"

Ah, to be a teenager again, where every word that comes out of your mouth is laced with sarcasm.

"So you're a dog person, huh? I have a dog, his name's Rowdy. You'd love him," noticing the glare she was giving me, I got straight to the point, "Okay then, you're all stitched up and ready to go, but until your dad gets here-"

"Step-dad." she growls.

"Right. Until your step-dad gets here to pick you up, we're gonna have to put you on suicide watch," I explained to her.

It was then that I was reminded of Brooke's extreme distaste for any and all of the male staff of the hospital.

"Ew! You're not gonna be watching me, are you?" she asked with a look of distaste on her face.

"No, I-"

"Good! Now take your giant adam's apple and go," she said as she laid back in her bed and stared me down to make sure I left.

I was only too happy to oblige, and only when I was out of eyesight from the room did I cup my hand over my neck. It wasn't really that big, was it?

"Really, Bambi, it's not that big. It's fine," Carla assured me as we walked down the hall.

"Yeah, see, that's what I thought," I agreed, "So, who ended up watching Brooke?"

"Lavern," she said, "We all drew straws and she picked the shortest."

"Poor Lavern," I muttered.

"Better her than me," Carla said.

It seemed a little harsh, but who could really blame us? Brooke's cold, sarcastic attitude would drive pretty much anyone away. The last thing you'd want to do is have to sit in a room with her for long periods of time getting insulted just to make sure she doesn't kill herself.

"Carla, have you ever noticed anything a little... strange about Brooke's case?" I asked her, bringing up what had been bugging me earlier.

"Like what?" she asked me as we approached the nurses station.

"I don't know, just strange," I don't really know any other way to put it. Something just doesn't feel right.

"Mmm-hmm. It's like she's permanently PMSing," came Lavern's voice, and looking over, I saw her sitting behind the counter gossiping to someone on the phone. I bet half of the hospital's phone bill is from her calls alone.

"Lavern, who's on suicide watch?" Carla asks exasperated.

Putting her hand to the phone and turning her gaze to us, she said, "Oh that girl? I pawned her off on the nearest intern."

Sure enough, looking down the hall into the room, there stood Keith, shifting his weight from foot to foot and looking quite nervous might I add. Poor Keith. Although a small part of couldn't help but cackled at the sight.

Lavern turned her attention once again back to whoever she was gossiping to on the phone, "Okay, I'm back... Yeah, I know... And those cuts were so shallow, I swear that girl wasn't even trying."

That's when it hit me. The last time she was here, while her wrists may have been slit, it wasn't deep enough to actually kill her, just make her dizzy and eventually knock her out from blood loss. Now, as morbid as it may seem, I would have just passed that off as an amateur suicider's mistake. She just didn't cut deep enough, eventually passed out, and then her step-dad brought her here.

I wouldn't have thought much of this at all except that she did the exact same thing this time around, but instead of her step-dad finding her, it was her aunt who had unfortunately been called in to work; she's a cop and apparently there was an emergency down at the station. After her first failed attempt, she would have known that she had to cut deeper, or that she at least had to try a different way. Which leads me to this conclusion:

She doesn't really want to die at all.

Maybe she's just a cutter, but then that leads me back to the whole 'this is her second time, she would have known how to get away with it' thing. No, Brooke slashed at her wrists because she wanted it to look like a suicide attempt.

Possibly a cry for help? Maybe she just wanted to get some attention. Well, there's only one way to find out.

"Keith, you can go now," I said as I entered Brooke's room.

"Okay," he said in that high-pitched squeak that I usually only hear Elliot use. As he walk past me on his way out, he whispered, "I don't really have a dinosaur head, do I?"

"No, no Keith," I said reassuringly as I led him out the door and closed it behind him.

A dinosaur head? Hmm, that's gotta be a new one.

"What do you want, Dr. Dork?" her shout drew me back to the situation at hand.

"Brooke, why are you in here?" I ask her, not quite sure how to phrase it without coming off as too blunt.

Raising her arms out beside her in a sort of 'are you kidding me' gesture, she says very slowly, "I tried to kill myself!" and then nodded her head as if to say, 'yeah, that's right. It's true.'

Looks like blunt is the only way to go here.

"If that were true then you wouldn't have done the same exact thing this time as you did the last time you tried to kill yourself. You're a smart girl, you would have gone deeper this time around. I've seen a lot of suicide attempts in my life here Brooke, and I know that you don't want to kill yourself. So tell me what's wrong."

How's that for straight to the point?

She stares at me with a blank expression, and for a second I fear I may have overstepped my boundaries with that little speech. Then as quickly as the blank expression was there, her moody, sarcastic look snaps right back into place and she screeches, "What are you, a shrink? Get out!"

Deciding that it would be in my best interests to leave and let her ponder over what I said, I quickly exited the room. Thankfully, Carla was nearby. Just the right person for the job that I had in mind next.

"Carla, I need a favor."

Looking over at me, she asked with a smile, "Depends, Bambi, what is it?"

"I need you to go in and talk to one of my patients," I explain, but avoid say exactly which patient it is in hopes of getting a yes out of her first.

Unfortunately, Carla isn't that easily tricked.

"Which patient," she asks suspiciously.

"Ummmmm... Brooke..." I mutter under my breath.

However, Carla apparently has freakishly keen hearing for she exclaimed, "Bambi, are you crazy?"

"Please Carla! I'll owe you. Besides, you're just so good with words and all that emotional stuff," I begged, without realizing my mistake until...

"Oh! So now, I'm over-emotional?" she snapped.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh! Critical error! Warning! Warning! ...See? That's what I mean with the whole words thing. Seriously! Open mouth, insert foot. Okay, I gotta somehow turn this around so it doesn't sound like I'm calling all women over- emotional.

"No! No, see, I would talk to her myself, but she has a, to say the least, strong dislike for all men." I explained.

"Well then, Shandra, I don't see any reason why she'd have a problem talking to you," came the familiar voice that we all know and love.

You guessed it! Dr. Cox. Sometimes I think he's like The Todd; just waiting for the right opportunity to pop up and call me a girl. They day just couldn't be complete without it.

"Are you here for a reason?" I can't help but ask.

"Well, Nikki, unlike you, I actually work around here and help my patients through the good times and the bad instead of trying to dump all the bad times onto someone else," he begins.

Even though he actually has in fact done exactly that before, I wisely keep my mouth shut and let him finish his rant.

"Now, if you hadn't been so busy trying to dump Ms. Castello's case onto anyone you come across, you would have found out on your own that her father is here to pick up the little hormone machine," he finishes with his arms crossed and that look on his face that says, 'I'm better than you.'

Turning back to Carla who probably should've taken Dr. Cox's interruption as a chance to run while she could, I said, "Please Carla, could you go in and talk to her. Someone needs to watch her anyway while I go discuss her options with her step-father."

Carla has this look on her face that the people on Fear Factor sometimes get when they're shown just what it is they'll have to eat to win the prize money, when she finally sighs in defeat and says, "Fine, but you own me big time for this!"

"Thank you, you're a life saver!" and with that said, she heads off to Brooke's room while Dr. Cox and I go to talk to her step-father.

I'm not about to question why Dr. Cox feels the need to accompany me on the task of talking to the girl's step-dad. It's actually a little comforting to have him there, because Brooke's dad is a big man. And not only is he a big man, but he's a hot-shot lawyer too. So if he really wanted to, he could kick my ass both legally and physically.

And then there's also the way he acted the last time Brooke was here to take in to consideration...

"What do you have to say Brooke?" He asked with a wide smile and a big hand on her shoulder.

"Sorry," she said quietly, her gaze locked on the ground.

"Oh, no, not to me, Honey," he said with that smile still in place.

"Sorry I wasted your time, Dr. Dorian," she said in a defeated tone.

No lie! That's exactly what happened the last time. No calling me 'Dr. Dork' (a personal favorite of hers, might I add). No commenting on my normal sized adam's apple. No nothing!

I met up with the man, Jack was his name, in the waiting room. We exchanged pleasantries before we took him aside to discuss the different options Brooke had to get her some help.

Then something surprising happened. Just as I was listing off some clinics she could go to for therapy, Carla comes charging out of nowhere with a look of fury on her face that I hope to never have directed at me, and with a scream of, "You sick, twisted, son-of-a-bitch!" she takes a flying leap and tackles Mr. Castello to the ground, only to get up and body slam him again.

Aside from the amazing fact that she took down a man nearly three times her size, Carla did it with the grace and precision of a pro-wrestler and football player combined. One thing's for sure, if the hospital ever forms a football team, I want to be on Carla's team.

Everyone within eyesight had been in a state of shock. While Carla may have a hot temper at times, I don't think anyone has ever seen her actually attack a visitor before. So we all just stood there stunned and watched as she continued to maul Mr. Castello. It wasn't until he shouted, "Get this crazy woman off me!" that we broke out of our stupor and pulled the two apart, or rather, pulled Carla off him. Jack just kind of stood to the side, probably not wanting to invoke her wrath further.

So now Dr. Cox, Carla, Turk (apparently hearing that your wife just went psycho and attacked a man was a good enough excuse to get an early break and find out what happened) and I were all standing outside of an unoccupied hospital room while Mr. Castello, Ted, and Dr. Kelso were discussing matters in the room. In other words, they were making sure that the man wouldn't charge the hospital for assault.

"Baby, what has gotten into you?" Turk asked incredulously.

"Yes, I think that's the question we're all dieing to know," Dr. Cox added.

Carla, who was still fuming, hissed, "You want to know what this is about? That bastard in there has been molesting that poor girl for most of her life."

Well, that definitely wasn't the explanation any of us had been expecting, and judging from the surprised exclamation coming from Jack who happened to be walking out of the room just as she said that, it wasn't the answer he had been expecting either.

"I would never do that to my daughter!" he said.

"Oh, yeah, sure, like you would admit it," Carla growled.

"Nurse Espinosa, you will apologize to this man and pray that he doesn't sue you for assault," Kelso snapped.

"There is no way I'm apologizing to that pig!" she fumed.

"Look, I won't press charges. I would have reacted the same way if I found out someone was hurting my daughter, but you have to understand Mrs. Espinosa, Brooke is a troubled girl and she lies. She likes to cause trouble, so she lied to you about me," Jack explained.

However, Carla didn't seem to be convinced, "A likely story!"

It was at this point that I decided to take the time to sneak away while they were distracted. I had to hear it for myself. This girl was my patient and I felt it was my job to get to the bottom of this.

"You know," I said as I entered her room; Keith, who was once again assigned to watch her, took this chance to make a run for it; "you can ruin someone's life with an accusation like that."

"Yeah, well if I knew she was going to go psycho like that, I wouldn't have said anything," she mumbled.

"How do you expect someone to react to news like that?" I asked her, but she remained silent; her gaze adverted to the floor. After a moment of silence, I finally asked, "Is it true?"

Still, she said nothing, so I turned to the door while saying, "If you have nothing else to say to me, I'm going to have to go give your step-dad your release forms."

I had almost reached the door when she grumbled, "Like it makes any difference."

I turned back to my patient with a raised eyebrow, waiting for her to elaborate.

"I'm just a troubled teen right? I lied. I lie about everything. Why should you believe me?" she said quietly with a guarded look.

"What about your aunt? Does she-"

"I love my aunt, but she probably doesn't care. I mean, I just tried to kill myself and all she does is dump me here and leave," Brooke sighed.

I however saw things differently. Brooke's aunt came in the morning bordering on hysterical with her unconscious niece in her arms. The lady wouldn't have even left at all if it wasn't for the emergency message she received over the radio.

"No, she does care about you. She was really upset this morning when she came in with you. You were just too out of it to notice. In fact, she mentioned something about checking up on you before Jack took you back home," I explained.

She turned away from me and said miserably, "I don't want to go back with him."

I believed her. Her story I mean. Though she didn't say it out loud, her body language and tone of voice told me everything I needed to know. Damn. I hate cases like this. It really puts me in a tough spot, especially her case.

Usually either someone on our staff or the police gets the victim to talk, and then Child Services takes it from there. This time is different because the abuser in question is a hot-shot, smooth talking lawyer. He'll turn anything any one of us says around. The odds did not look to be in Brooke's favor.

I needed to help her.

"I'll go talk to him. Maybe convince him to let you stay with your aunt," I said as I headed for the door.

"Are you kidding?" she asked incredulously, but I just continued out the room without looking back.

When I got back, I could see that Jack and Ted were absent from the group and everyone else was bickering about something.

"Where's Ted and Mr. Castello?" I asked, interrupting the heated argument.

"Nancy, so nice of you to join us! If you hadn't have left to go fix your makeup, you wouldn't have missed Carla's second attempt on Mr. Castello's life. Apparently he's reconsidered his decision to not press charges. Ted's making a feeble attempt at convincing him to reconsider his reconsidered decision," Dr. Cox explained.

"She's telling the truth!" Carla insisted, "You weren't there when she told me. You didn't see the look in her eye."

"Either way, cases such as these are not to be taken lightly. Even if it could be just a bunch of bull," Kelso said, "So one of you is going to have to take care of that."

"Oh, really? And why not you, Bobbo?" Dr. Cox asked with a glare.

"Because I'm far too busy this weekend and I don't give a crap," Kelso said before turning on his heal and walking away.

Seeing that Dr. Cox was about to go into another rant, I quickly volunteered, "I'll talk to him."

As soon as the words left my mouth, everyone stopped and gave me a look. Oh come on! They need to have a little more faith in me.

"Dude, have you seen that guy?" Turk asked in disbelief.

"Stacy, not only could that man snap you like a twig, but he could make it sound like it was your fault in court," Dr. Cox said.

"Have some confidence, okay?" I reassured them, "What room is he in?"

"Bambie, no. Look, I'll talk to him," Carla said, and I could see that murderous gleam appear in her eyes again.

"Carla, you'd probably maul him again. I'll be fine! Now tell me what room he's in," I said, but received nothing but unsure looks from the three of them. With a frustrated sigh, I snapped, "Fine! I'll find him myself."

I stalked off down the hallway and for once, Dr. Cox was at my heals.

"Listen Newbie," he began, "as much as I would love for you to be incapacitated and, as a result, not have to deal with your constant, annoying, pestering, I have a feeling that you would be beat-up to a point where you'd be bed-ridden in this very hospital for quite possibly weeks and, knowing you, you'd be conscious each and every day of those weeks. Also, with the way life always seems to work out, I'd probably end up being your doctor and would therefore be stuck taking care of you for those weeks. Now, we could avoid that whole thing if you would just turn around now and walk away."

Ignoring Dr. Cox's rant, I continued walking down the hall and glancing into each room to try and spot the two lawyers. The reason why I'm not worried like everyone else is because there's something about me that nobody else knows. Well, nobody living that is.

Ah, there they were. Room 203.

"Ted, could you excuse us for a moment. I need to discuss something with Mr. Castello," I said calmly.

Ted looked relieved to have an excuse to leave the room and left as quickly as he could. Dr. Cox however, stood in the doorway giving me a look that told me he wasn't leaving anytime soon. See! I new he cared! I'm gonna have to mark this day in my calendar as soon as I get home.

Walking over to my mentor, I grabbed the door handle and said with a smile, "Sorry, Dr. Cox. You know, doctor/patient confidentiality and all that."

Then, taking a step back, I closed the door on him. After stealthily locking the door to make sure there wouldn't be any interruptions, I turned back to Jack Castello. Might as well get this over with.

"Mr. Castello, I think it would be in your daughter's best interest if you signed custody over to her aunt," I said, getting straight to the point.

"No, I'm am not giving up my daughter just because you all have some sort of sick idea in your heads!" he fumed.

Boy, he really was smooth-talking. He almost sounded convincing.

I sighed and held a hand to my forehead. The way everyone was dancing around the truth was really starting to get annoying.

"Let's say it is a lie Brooke's telling. The truth of the matter is that she believes it's true. If you really cared about your daughter, you'd let her stay with her aunt until this all gets sorted out," I explained.

"Where's my daughter?" he demanded, "I'm signing her out and we're leaving."

"Listen, Jack-"

"No, you listen!" he snapped. "Because apparently you're too stupid to get it, so let me spell it out to you. Brooke's upset over her mother's death, so she acts out. This is just her acting out!"

I finally just glared at him and said, "You can drop the act now. It's just us two in here, nobody else. I know you wouldn't want something like this on your records. After all, child molestation isn't a very good title for a lawyer. So maybe if you just sign custody over to her Aunt, you might avoid a little unwanted publicity."

"You think I'm threatened by you?" he growled and emphasized the word 'threatened' by pushing me, causing me to stumble back a few paces.

Practically on my last nerve here, I chuckled, "You don't want to push me."

He only looked extremely amused by my statement as he said, "Oh really? Like this?"

Yes, that's right. He definitely pushed me again.

"Seriously, don't push me."

Being the respectable gentleman that he is, Jack Castello didn't push me. No, instead he picked me up by the front of my scrubs and slammed me against the wall. Coughing a little, I sucked in my breath trying to regain my bearings. I would say that I was definitely going to feel that tomorrow, but the truth is I probably won't even be feeling that ten minutes from now.

"Look here, doctor," he spat, "I'm one of the best lawyers out there whereas Brook has mile-long criminal record. Possession, assault, driving without a license, driving on a suspended license, theft, destruction of property, the list just goes on. If this did go to court, who do you think they'd believe?" he laughed, "It's my word over hers. There's nothing any of you people can do about it."

There was knocking on the door and the handle rattled a little bit. Apparently Dr. Cox thought that my talk with Jack was taking far too long. He probably heard me being slammed into the wall too.

Jack smirked at me, feeling that he's won this battle, and let me drop to my feet. I stumbled a bit before standing up straight while he turned to leave. When I first walked in here, I really didn't want to stoop to his level, but he's not giving me much choice in the matter. Besides, I would love nothing more at this moment than to wipe that smirk off his face.

"Hey, Jack, one more thing before you go."

As soon as he turned back to me with a stubborn look on his face, I lashed out. It wasn't with a punch or a kick or anything of that sort. Instead, I approached him in two quick strides and reached forward with both hands. Both hands which, instead of simply coming in contact with his chest, went into his chest, but not in a graphic, bloody way you may see in one of those twisted cartoons. It was more like I fazed my hands into his chest. Finding just what I was looking for, I grabbed hold and pulled his soul right out of his body.

I've broken my fair share of rules in the past, but never quite like this. This is the secret I hold. It's the one big thing about me that none of my friends know and with good reason too. If they ever found out, I have no idea how they'd react. Though the image of being burned at the stake comes to mind. For you see, my big secret is that I'm a grim reaper.

Jack's soul looked just like his body, if not a little gray and hazy around the edges, but that was probably due to the stress a soul feels when being removed from its host before its ready. As for Jack's body, it simply stood there twitching with a look of horror and disbelief frozen on its face.

Jack, his soul that is, gazed at me in fear. I responded with a cheerful smile and said quietly in case someone was listening through the door, "Listen closely Jack because this is how it's going to go down. First, you're not going to press any charges against my friend. Carla was simply acting on her mothering instincts. As for pressing charges against me, well, who would believe you? You following me so far?"

He nodded fearfully.

"Good. The second thing you're going to do is sign custody of Brooke over to her Aunt. You're also going to turn yourself into the police for the child-molesting bastard you are, and you're going to do it without a fight. Lastly, you will speak of what just went on to nobody, you will walk out of this room and do what you have to do to fix the mistake you've been making all those years. There are others out there like me, Jack. I have friends. Understand?" I growled even quieter than before.

He nodded again and this time it was my turn to smirk. Or rather, I smiled. I can't really pull off the whole smirk thing, it just doesn't work out for me.

"Great! Consider this your second chance, Jack. Don't screw it up," with that said, I shoved his soul back into his body.

He let out a shuddering gasp and fell to the ground. I stood leaning against the wall with my arms crossed over my chest and stared down at his still twitching and gasping form; patiently waiting for him to get over the shock of it all.

"Newbie?" came the muffled call from behind the door.

"Everything's fine Dr. Cox, just give us a minute," I called back out to him.

There was an annoyed growl from the door, but the knocking stopped. Looking back down at Jack, I could see that he was curled up on his side in a fetal position, shaking just a tad, but no longer gasping like a fish out of water. I stood there waiting for a full ten minutes before Jack uncurled himself and sat up.

"How ya feeling, Jacko?" I asked.

He flinched at the sound of my voice and scooted away from me a bit. Our gazes were locked for another five minutes, his like a deer caught in head lights, mine simply amused. He then slowly and shakily got to his feet, never taking his eyes off me for a second, and it was only when I smiled at him that he took out his cell phone and dialed three numbers.

"Hello... police," he said as he slowly moved to the door, still not looking away from me. He unlocked and opened up the door, only to come face to face with Dr. Cox, Turk, Carla, and a few other curious staff members, but he paid them no mind. "Yes, Hello! This is Jack Costello and I'd like to turn myself in..."

He finally broke our stare-down and walked off down the hall, explaining on the phone exactly what he was turning himself in for. The looks I got were a mix between confused, curious, and downright disbelief.

Dr. Cox was the one to gracefully break the silence, "Newbie, what the hell? How did you do it?"

"I calmly explained to him my side of the situation," I said.

"Uh-huh. You broke his spirit with all your girly talk, didn't you?" Dr. Cox said bluntly.

He's so close to the truth that it's funny.

"You could say that," I said innocently and before anyone else could question further, I told them I had to go update Brooke about the news and walked off down the hall.

Just as I turned the corner and headed down the next hallway, I saw the Janitor leaning against the wall with his mop in hand giving me a look. Even though logic clearly states that I should avoid any and all confrontation with the man, I couldn't help but ask, "What?"

Waving his mop at me, he said, "I got my eye on you. I'll let it go this time considering the circumstances, but there better not be a next time. I'll be watching."

That was just vague enough to sound like he knows something. Quick! Say something to throw him off the trail!

"What? Anyway, nice mop."

...How will that throw him off the trail?! Uhg, whatever, just keep moving. If I stand here any longer, he may suspect something.

"My eye... on you," he emphasized with his mop again as I walked down the hall as calmly as I could.

Guess I'll have to keep an eye on him too. The last think I need if the Janitor organizing a reaper hunt...

That's the end of this Scrubs one-shot. I plan on writing other Dead Like Me/Scrubs crossovers. I got a really big idea in mind for one.

So review please and tell me what you think of this particular Scrubs fic!