Hey guys! This is a fanfic in honor of our friends, Awesumingerette and MEW's birthday. Written by Aqua and I. Enjoy! Mostly by me.

-Nike the Great

*rolls eyes* Nike forgot… Shout-out to our friend, Kai Lee! Hi Kai Lee! Potato monkeys are awesome! By the way, nuh-uh. I wrote a lot too!

~Aqua the Awesome

Not really. :P

-Nike the Great

Whatevs. :D And now to the story!

~Aqua the Awesome

"Artemis! Artemis! Artemis, guess what! Guess what! Guess what!" Apollo called to his sister hyperly.

"I heard you the first time. Don't repeat everything three times. There is no valid purpose." Artemis replied stiffly.

"But sis, it's Hermes' birthday today~!" Apollo whined.

Artemis raised an eyebrow. "So? He has had many in the past, and none were celebrated before."

"Exactly! So now this celebration will be a surprise!"

"No one cares for surprises."

"I do! And me and Hermes are very alike!"

"When talking to me, please use correct grammar."

"I so totally definitely do!"

"That was incorrect grammar." Artemis replied calmly.

"No it were not!"

"That was too."

"It were?"

"Athena would kill you if she heard you talking like that."

"It don't matter."

"I'm not going to help you with this 'surprise' if you continue speaking without proper English."

"C'mon, can't you ever lighten up? I was speaking incorrectly accidentally-on-purpose. Well, not really, but still! Sheesh."

"Good day. I have hunters to hunt with." Artemis got up and began to walk towards the door, bored with this conversation already.

"Wait! I'll do anything to have you help with the party preparations!" Apollo grabbed her wrist desperately.

Artemis smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Anything?"

Apollo, not sensing the danger he was putting himself in, nodded vigorously and said, "Totes! I swear on the River Styx! Wait… what?" Thunder was heard in the distance.

"Okay, then. The deal is sealed." Artemis smirked Apollo's signature smirk.

Apollo seemed totally oblivious to that. Artemis facepalmed and rolled her eyes.

"Hey! Those are my moves! Anyway, where did you learn them?" Apollo whined.

"I pick things up from my hunters, you know," Artemis said matter-of-factly. "So, on with what I'm going to make you do to gain my help. I would like to see you stop flirting with my hunters."

It may seem like something no one would care about to foreigners, but to Apollo, this was torture. "Sis! You know I can't resist! Your hunters are just so darn cute!"

Artemis kicked him in the stomach. "Say that again and I will kick you in a spot that will hurt much more." She said seriously while Apollo doubled over in pain.

"Oooo-kay…" He wheezed.

"Good. So, Why'd you want my help so bad?" Artemis asked curiously.

"I… wanted… you… to…" He paused over-dramatically, falling to his knees. "I'm… sorry… Ar-te-mis… my time… to pass… has… come… too…" He fell to the floor. "Soon…" He rolled his eyes into the back of his head and pretended to pass out.

Artemis looked at him, annoyed. "No wonder you're the god of theater…"

He opened one eye. "Thanks, sis!"

She grunted. "It wasn't a compliment. That little show you just put on was annoying."

"Artemis~" He whined, looking hurt. "I'm sowwy~"

"Whatever. Seriously, how do you want me to help?"

"Oh, that. Can you go to the mortal store and buy an iPhone 5 for Hermes? A supreme being like myself shouldn't be weighted with going to such an iffy store."

Artemis glared daggers at him. If looks could kill, he would be a dead man. Not that he could die, anyway, but that's beside the point. He whimpered and shrunk under her glaze.

"Repeat what you just said." Her voice was deadly calm.

"N-No, I'd r-rather not." He stuttered, feeling greatly intimidated.

"Repeat what you just said. That's an order."

"N-No, I'd r-rather not." He repeated, stutters and all.

"Excuse me?"

"I repeated what I said." He shrugged, trying to lighten up the mood.

Artemis punched Apollo in the shoulder. Hard. She could hear his bones crack under her force. "Owie… you sure pack a punch, sis." He said, healing his broken shoulder. "Seriously, though. Can you go buy an iPhone 5 for Hermes? I promised him."

Artemis shrugged. "Go buy it yourself, then."

"Please?" He gave her puppy-dog eyes.

"Percy's puppy-dog eyes are more convincing than yours, and I have built up a resilience against them. Your ineffective attempt makes no dent upon me."

"What? I'm sorry, I don't understand your old-fashioned ways of speaking."

"If you want to get me to buy that phone, you could at least be nice."

"Nice, shmice. No one cares."

Artemis gave him her best Percy-ish glare. He didn't notice. Facepalm.

She crossed her arms and leaned back, too stubborn to give in.

"Aaaaaaaartemiiiiiiiiiiiisssss… please?" Apollo made sure that he drew out the 'a', 'i', and 's' in her name.

That annoyed her. Greatly. "No. I'm sorry, but no. I won't help."

"Okay, then I will continue to flirt with your hunters." Apollo threatened unsuccessfully.

"And get kicked in the gluteus maximus for doing so? Be my guest."

He paled considerably. "Um… never mind?"

"Good. Now go get the iPhone yourself."

"Yes, sis…"Apollo transported to a local Apple store.

After he left, Artemis smiled smugly. The stubborn genius strikes again.

"Wow! An iPhone 5! Thanks, Apollo! You're like the bestest partner in crime ever!" Hermes cheered excitedly, taking his new iPhone 5 out of its case.

Apollo blushed slightly, "Aww, shucks. It was nothin'."

Hermes whistled appreciatively, "You better change your definition of 'nothing' then, buddy."

Hephaestus randomly popped up and said, "If you press the home button for a while, an interactive feature appears. Apparently, it's called Siri. You can ask it any questions, and it will provide you with an answer. Pretty nifty, if you ask me - even if the answers aren't always correct or relevant."

"Okay! There has been a question that has been nagging me for awhile..." Hermes pressed the button for a while, and a double beep was heard. "What do I do next?" After he asked that, another series of double beeps was audible.

"Alright, here's what I got:

Input interpretation: What am I doing?

Response: You appear to be seeking computational knowledge." Siri replied.

"... Oh… So I just say something?"

Hephaestus nodded and rolled his eyes, finding the answer to his question the most obvious thing in the world.

"Okay! Take two!" He pressed the home button again. The double beep was heard again. "Why are fire trucks red?"

"OK. I found this:

Input interpretation: Why are fire trucks red?

Result: Because they have eight wheels and four people on them, and four plus eight is twelve, and there are twelve inches in a foot, and one foot is a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship, and the ship sailed the seas, and in the seas are fish, and fish have fins, and the Finns fought the Russians, and the Russians are red, and the fire trucks are always "russian" around.

(According to the Monty Pythonesque application of the principles of logic and etymology.)" Siri replied seriously.

After two seconds of shocked silence, Hermes and Apollo burst out laughing.

"Wow! I just learned the roots of knowledge!" Hermes cried between laughs.

Athena came around and said, "That answer was logically inaccurate."

"Hermes, do another one!" Apollo howled, ignoring Athena's comment.

Athena rolled her eyes and sat down on a chair while reading a book.

"Okay!" He pressed the home button again, and waited for the double beep. "What is is the meaning of life?"

"To think about questions like this." Was the reply.

"What?" Apollo was confused.

"Eh, not funny." Hermes replied. He asked another question. "Siri, will you marry me?"

"My end user licensing agreement does not cover marriage. My apologies." Siri said.

"Dude, that's just wrong." Apollo commented.

"I know, but the result was funny." Hermes shrugged. "Okay, um…" He pressed the home button. "What's the best phone?"

"Wait… there are other phones?" Siri asked.

"Yup, You're missing out, dude." Apollo told Siri very seriously.

"I'm kinda bored…" Hermes said.

"Yeah…"

"Tell me a joke." Hermes instructed Siri.

"I can't. I always forget the punchline." Siri said dejectedly.

"Fine, then. Whatever." Hermes pouted.

Apollo asked to the sky, "What else is there that we can do?"

Hephaestus randomly reappeared again and said, "Well, you can download and play with apps, and stuff. I'll just do it instantly - it takes waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long to download."

POOF! In a burst of sparkles and fluff (well, not really…), the iPhone 5 was magically at the home screen, with more apps downloaded.

"Hm… what's this game?" Hermes tapped on an icon.

Hephaestus paled. "NO! DON'T PLAY IT! PRESS THE HOME BUTTON TO RETURN BACK TO THE HOME SCREEN! THAT GAME WAS A MISTAKE! GO BACK BEFORE YOU REGRET IT!"

Quickly, Hermes pressed the home button. He stared at the icon. "Okay, okay… what is that game, anyway?"

Hephaestus replied, "It is the most dangerous… horrible… hooking… addictive… terrifying game ever! It's…"

"It's…?" Apollo asked, trying to help.

"It's…" Hephaestus couldn't say it.

"It's…?"

"It's…"

"It's…?"

"It's…"

"It's…?"

"It's…"

"It's…?"

"It's…"

"It's…?"

"It's…"

"It's…?"

"It's…"

"It's…?"

"It's…"

"It's…?"

"It's…"

"It's…?"

"It's…"

"It's…?"

"It's…"

"It's…?"

"It's…"

"It's…?"

"It's…"

"It's…?"

"It's…"

"It's…?"

"It's…"

"It -"

"OH, FOR THE LOVE OF ZEUS, SAY IT ALREADY! IT'S…?!" Hermes couldn't take it anymore.

"Zeus don't need no love." Apollo said, with incorrect grammar.

"Okay, then...OH, FOR THE FATE OF OLYMPUS, JUST SAY IT ALREADY! IT'S…?!"

"It's…" Hephaestus trembled, and said, "Flappy Bird."

"AH, NO, THE HORROR!" Hermes cried, falling to his knees dramatically. "Wait. What's Flappy Bird?"

"It's this terrible game that's horribly addicting. So addicting that it's not even funny! Don't play it. Whatever you do, don't play it. If you do, you'll instantly be hooked. You'll forget all of your duties as a god. You're pals, such as Apollo and myself, won't be seeing much of you. What's worse, is that...Zeus will confiscate your iPhone 5, and play Flappy Bird himself. To keep it from the greedy hands of Zeus, I suggest that you don't play that game." Hephaestus explained.

Hermes got up from his knees and casually wiped them off. "Oh, come on, I'm not one who gets hooked so easily. The only thing that got me hooked, and truly addicted, was Mario. That's only because their design was awesome."

For some reason, after Hermes said that, Hephaestus frowned in worry. "Then I suggest that you don't play it. Please, don't."

"Meh. Too bad, I'm gonna play it anyways. Mwa ha ha ha!" Hermes laughed rebelliously, placing his finger on Flappy Bird. The app opened, and…

He moved his finger up to the 'play' button.

"Noooooo…!" Hephaestus yelled in slow motion.

Instantly, time slowed down. Hephaestus moved to grab the phone from Hermes' hands, but it was too late. Hermes had already placed his finger down onto the 'play' button. Time sped up and returned to its normal pace.

"OH MY GODS! THE GRAPHICS ARE JUST LIKE MARIO! THIS IS AWESOME! I'M HOOKED! I'M ADDICTED! THIS IS MY NEW LIFE!" Hermes' eyes glazed over with a look of pure joy.

"Dude, you're gonna lead a sad life." Apollo commented.

"So what? I'm happy and that's all that matters."

"I knew that I shouldn't have downloaded this app." Hephaestus muttered regretfully under his breath.

"Dude, ya think? Now who's gonna be my partner in crime?" Apollo cried mournfully.

"I can be your new partner in crime!"

"Nah, you're not good enough, Hefty."

Ouch. "Hey, Why Hefty?! And how am I not good enough?!"

"'Cause Hephaestus is a mouthful. Duh. You're not good enough 'cause you're too fat to fit into the air ducts Hermes and I travel through." For once, Apollo spoke with correct grammar.

"Hey! I can change my form!"

"Meh. I prefer that my partner stayed in his normal form."

"YES! NEW HIGH SCORE! I'M SO GOOD AT THIS!" Hermes cried, tapping away at his iPhone's screen.

"What'd you get? Huh?" Apollo seemed mildly interested, but not daring to look at the screen.

"I got… wait for it… wait for it… A TWO!" Hermes jumped up and down like a rabbit.

"OH. MY. GODS. CAN I TRY TOO?!"

"Nah. This is my phone. Poor you."

Apollo pouted. "I payed for that with the money from my piggy bank!"

"You… have a piggy bank?" Hephaestus looked disturbed.

"Well, technically, it's a piglet bank, but whatevs. I PAID WITH MONEY. MY OWN MONEY! FROM MY PIGGY BANK!" Apollo screamed.

"Well, too bad." Like the mature god he was, Hermes stuck out his tongue. "How did you get the money anyway?"

"I have unlimited money." In other words, he had manifested them with his mind, but it's not like he was going to tell Hermes that.

"Oh."

"Yeah." The room lapsed into an awkward silence.

"ZUMBA! AND UP AND DOWN AND RIGHT THEN LEFT! WHOO, LOOK AT ME GUYS! I'M SLIMMING DOWN!" Hephaestus yelled wildly, dancing to the Zumba music.

"Uh...okay…" Apollo and Hermes replied, looking extremely disturbed.

Athena looked up from the book she was reading and said, "Hephaestus, please stop. This is extremely disturbing."

A hurt expression flashed across his face and he ended his television session. He sat down on his council chair sadly, still looking like a lump of coal.

"Aw, it's okay buddy! 'Cause is the sun is gonna shine all your sadness away!" Apollo said cheerfully, patting Hephaestus on the back.

"Oh be quiet…"

"Well, then."

"Guys, Flappy Bird is, like, so old now. Who wants to play Mario Kart with me?" Hermes asked while setting up the wii.

The two gods perked up and said, "Me!"

"If it's alright with you guys, I would like to exercise my strategizing skills. May I play as well?" Athena asked, surprising everyone by picking a wii remote up. She wouldn't take 'no' for an answer.

"Okay. Whatever. I'm sure to win anyway." Hermes said.

Athena gave him a wry smile. "I wouldn't be so sure of that."

An hour later, Hermes demanded a rematch for the hundredth time."Athena, I demand a rematch!"

"There's no point. I'll win every time."

"Please?"

"Nah."

"It's my birthday~"

"Fine, it is quite amusing to see you beg on your knees like that every time we finish a round."

"Yay!"

The four continued playing, Hephaestus coming in last, Apollo coming in third, Hermes coming in second, and Athena coming in first. Every time, a rematch was demanded for.

"Alright, we have played enough for one day." Athena got up to leave four hours later.

"Wait! Let's play one more time! I'll win this time!"

Athena was pulled back down for another round.

From a distance, Artemis watched them play in amusement. Boys have their egos way too high. They're too persistent. They never know when to stop. All the reason to hold her grudge against them.

Nike: And it's a close! The ending wasn't all great, but whatever. It's gotta end at some point, right? Cookie! (::) Review?

To MEW and Awesumingerette: HAPPZY B-DAY, GUYS! EAT MORE SUGAR!

Aqua: HEY GUYS! HERE ARE MY RANDOM PRESENTS FOR MEW, Awesumingerette, and Kai Lee!:

A DOSE OF SUGAR, A SLICE OF PIE, AND THREE COOKIES TO YOU THREE!

For the rest of you guys, here's a cookie from me! Nike will give you one later. (::)

Nike: I already did. Whatever. (::)

Hey. Psst. If you choose to review, then we will PM you with a cookie! If you're a guest and decide to review, here it is anyway: (::)