"Blair!" A thundering knock threatened to pull Blair from the very nice dream she'd been having about discussing rural French landscapes with Channing Tatum and she groaned tugging the covers tightly over her head.

"Nggg, Mom goway."

The door of her bedroom opened and she sighed, the last remnants of Channing's charming smile floating out the window in a disappointing blast of cold air as her mother tugged the covers off the bed.

"Up!"

"Did we not have this discussion once or twice before?" She scowled, curling in herself, "I could have been naked in here."

"Nothing I haven't seen before darling," Eleanor smirked as she set a mug of coffee beside the bed and flung back the curtains, "I did give birth to you after all."

Blair huffed, "and so that gives you the right to enter my room without permission and steal my duvet?"

"Yes, a mother gets to reserve the right for life. Trust me when you have children you'll understand why. Now get up! School, and you, are going to break the world record getting there on time today and shocking your teachers into stunned silence at not being tardy."

"I feel like you picture school as a little more What Katy Did and a little less what it really is in reality Mom. There are no stunned silences or awed moments, unless Serena's been caught climbing out of a window again."

"Nonetheless," Eleanor pushed her long dark hair out of her face and fixed Blair with a determined look, "the two of you are going to be on your best behaviour this year. There will be no breaking and entering after hours, no forging my signature to go and see period dramas instead of Bio and absolutely no being caught in the Principal's office looking through school records. This year is the year of change," she seemed to say that last bit to herself rather than to Blair but the message was clear. No screwing up this time.

Blair was aware she was clinging to her scholarship by a thread but she couldn't bring herself to care. The whole place continuously reeked of favouritism and my father's richer than your father. The attitude of the collective student body was enough to make her weep for the future of the country.

"Can't I just-"

"No," her mother swung her wardrobe wide and threw a familiar yellow shirt in her face, "dressed in five, you have the bathroom for ten minutes tops then your father is driving you to school."

"He's back?" Blair felt herself brighten. Her father was so much easier to convince that the windows of Prada and Chanel needed gazing at rather than the back of her teacher's heads.

Eleanor snorted as if she could read her daughter's mind, "yes and he's under strict instructions to take you straight there. No pausing to window shop."

"Ugh," Blair flopped back against her pillows, clutching at her coffee mug, "you are a cruel tyrant of a mother."

"I know," Eleanor agreed, pulling an insincere face, "it keeps me up at night."

Twenty minutes later and Blair was deposited on the bottom step of their apartment building under threats of no samples being brought home if her mother glanced out the window and didn't see her climbing into her father's car seconds after he arrived.

Blair was still tempted to turn tail and head for the Starbucks on the corner. Perhaps tomorrow. She amused herself by creating lives for all the commuters bustling past, lives that were filled with places she'd never been and people she would never meet, families and friends, lush green gardens with white picket fences or an awesome Rottweiler running around out front; in reality they were probably all tired, middle aged and waiting for the day the retirement age went up so they could quit dreaming of the day they were able to pack it all up and fly to the Bahamas' and fix the back porch steps instead. But Blair felt it was only fair she gave them exotic imaginary lives.

A mass of blonde curls and cigarette smoke announced the presence of her best friend and Blair glanced up into the early morning sun to raise an eyebrow, "my mother's watching."

"Shit," Serena tossed the cigarette into the road and tried to look innocent, "I thought she'd have left for work by now!"

Blair shrugged, "she's making sure we stay on schedule, dictator that she is."

Serena rolled her eyes, "my mom forgot we started back today. The whole apartment stank of patchouli when I left."

"Where's Eric?"

"He's allowed to get the bus."

Blair scowled, "how is it that we're older than him and we're still being treated like the babies?"

"Because unlike the two of you Eric actually finds school useful and goes willingly," her mother hollered out the window.

"Nobody finds school useful mom, we all know the truth!"

Her neighbour sniggered from where he was collecting his post, "it all seems torturously easy in comparison to real life trust me," he said mournfully as he trudged back inside.

"Not a chance," Blair muttered back as her father's car pulled up looking exactly like the prison carrier it was.

She shrugged on her leather jacket and turned back to look at Serena, "ready?"

Serena examined her nails- Blair had painted them a nice hot pink only yesterday- "I guess. Are you sure we can't convince your dad to take us to Central Park instead?"

"Nope, he and mom are all gung ho about us getting an 'education' this year."

"You don't need an education," Serena exclaimed, "you're already smarter than half the teachers we have."

"Try telling them that," Blair muttered sulkily.

The car ride over was torturous with her father attempting joviality, Serena hiding smug amusement and Blair trying to think of any conceivable excuse as to how she could avoid going to school.

"Really dad," she pawed at her throat, "it's been playing up all week."

"Not a chance," her father said firmly as they pulled up outside the gates, "out you get honey."

"Don't honey me," she snapped crossly, "I can't believe you're not on my side about this."

"It's your education Blair; your mother and I are in agreement about that being the main priority here."

"That and nothing else."

Her father pulled back looking stung and she felt apologetic for a moment, Serena had somehow managed to slip out of the car unnoticed and she swore vengeance later. "Dad I-"

"Save it baby; you might have been used to pushover dad but that's all in the past, i'm scary strict dad now and you are going to school."

"But I hate it!"

"Why?"

"Because- I don't belong there!" She shuffled awkwardly in her seat and squinted out the window, "it's just not very me."

"You only have another year Blair, and then you and Serena can go and do whatever you like," he paused, "within reason. School isn't anyone's favourite thing to do but you do have to do it regardless." He didn't get it. She didn't think she'd ever be able to explain to a sunny, easily likeable soul like her father why a school that expected perfection and grace was horrendous for someone like her. Why she felt unnervingly on edge and constantly judged and that even though she was smarter than most of the people in her year, she never felt any satisfaction in it.

It always felt like she was coming up short.

She looked up at her father's earnest face and sighed, "fine."

"And no more snarky comments about your mother and I; I thought we were past that."

"Whatever traitor," she opened the door and leant back in, "we could have gone to the new Burberry store opening but nooo, someone had to be a responsible parent for once."

"Sue me," her dad said with a smirk.

"I might!" She yelled as he pulled off from the pavement.

Serena pulled an apologetic face as she stalked over to her, "I'm sorry, it seemed like a good idea to get out."

"You made me get emotional," Blair seethed.

"At least you got it out of the way for the day?"

"Why do you always have to look on the bright side?!"

"Isn't that why you keep me around?"

Blair rolled her eyes fondly and then exhaled sharply, "sorry, I'm sorry, I'm being a total bitch. I guess I'm just-"

"Edgy?" Serena pulled a brooding face at her, knitting her eyebrows together, "dark and angsty?"

"Ha! I certainly don't keep you around for your sharp wit."

"We're gonna need wit this year," Serena scrunched up her nose in distaste as they turned to look up the daunting steps to school, "it's about the only thing that might keep us sane."

Which, was not an understatement. It wasn't like the school itself was ugly or the teachers didn't provide enough of a challenge but-

"-Oh my god those shoes, I mean, I just loved them last season."

"-Kelsy Featherlynn looks like she had her hair cut like a blind man-"

"-pink socks like they're not going out of fashion-"

"Is that Blair Waldorf?"

"Nobody told me we were doing a Grease Lightning theme for school this year."

Cue shrill giggling and irritating whispering.

This was the part that was ugly. The endless gossiping and bitching and oh god Jenny Humphrey. Pain in the ass Sophomore who truly thought she ruled the world. Just on schedule she stood up gracefully from the gaggle of girls she was surrounded by and made her way down the steps to where Blair and Serena stood watching her.

"Looks like you girls could do with a few lessons in how to look less like you're from The Addam's Family," she said with a haughty smirk, tilting her head to one side, "didn't you get any sun this summer Blair?"

"I use sun screen to prevent skin cancer," Blair replied in a deadpan voice.

Jenny gave her a patronising smile, "too bad you didn't use any with tint in it; you look like death."

"Does that mean if I touch you, you die?" She took half a step forward and the whole group of girls flinched back.

Blair pretended to move again and they all careened away from her declaring she was obviously a lunatic.

Because obviously Blair is the insane one here.

"They just get friendlier every year don't they?" Serena remarked dryly.

"I honestly fear for the world at large when that generation is let loose."

A stench of aftershave assaulted her nose as Chuck Bass stalked past, yelling at Jenny for not returning his eight calls the night before and Blair scrunched up her nose, "ew, really?"

Serena shrugged, "there is no good explanation for that boy."

"Which boy?" An arm draped over their shoulders and Nate appeared, looking between them and smirking, "well this is nice."

Blair rolled her eyes fondly, "you obviously, there will never be an explanation for how you manage to walk and breathe at the same time."

Nate narrowed his eyes at her before smiling easily and leaning forward to kiss the top of her nose, "always a joy to see you too Miss Waldorf." He loosened the arm over her and turned to wrap his arms around Serena's waist, "you on the other hand."

"I know," Serena smirked, "you never want to see again?"

Blair let them do whatever it was they needed to do to make up for the fact they'd been parted for oh, twenty four hours, and casually glanced over the rest of the student body milling around.

She made to walk up the steps reluctantly and felt the air leave her body as someone barrelled into her from the side.

"Oof."

"Oh I'm sorry I-" Dan Humphrey's sincere face twisted into a scowl when he saw it was Blair he'd barged and he sighed, dropping to help her pick up her books.

"Hey get off those," she snatched at her well worn notebook and glowered across at him, "I've got it thanks."

Dan smirked, actually smirked at her and tossed her Calculus book on the pile, "fine by me." He straightened, nodding at Nate and giving Serena a small smile before stalking off.

"Look where you're going next time," she shouted after him. He lifted a hand in return waving it in the air without looking back and she resisted the urge to throw her damn textbook at his stupid smug head.

"Wow so you two didn't spend all summer missing each other terribly then," Serena remarked, dusting her friend off as they walked to their homeroom.

Blair rolled her eyes, "in what world would I ever miss Dan Humphrey from my life?"

"Hey," Nate said somewhat indignantly, "Dan's cool."

"You only think that because he uses his Daddy's money to get his hands on all the best weed for the two of you."

"Actually he's kind of nice when you get to know him," Serena added, biting her lip apologetically.

"Ugh," Blair stopped to stare at them both, "did I wake up in alternative reality today or something? Dan Humphrey is the devil, he is everything that is wrong with society today, frittering away his parent's money like it means nothing to him, barging into people like they're nothing important and wasting his life doing nothing more important than seeing how fast he can make his precious Porsche go in a thirty zone."

"You just don't like him because he spent all of third grade kicking your chair."

"That is, ridiculous," she seethed finally.

"Excuse me but some of us are trying to get to class, you know, that thing most students go to instead of hanging off the bleachers and making the world a dirtier place?"

Blair whirled round to see Vanessa Abrams, Queen Bitch of their school, hair larger than ever and total bitch face in place.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she gushed, "so sorry for preventing you from trying to fit actual knowledge into that oversized head of yours- seems a little futile considering all the air in there's already got it covered though. How absolutely utterly inconceivably rude of me."

She stepped aside with a flourish as Vanessa regarded her with disdainful confusion, "did you just make up a lot of words? Because I honestly have no idea what you just said to me. Freak," she muttered as she pushed past.

Nate and Serena were sniggering as they gently led Blair into the classroom; "she just irritates me so much," Blair cried defensively, "I can't help it!"

"The poor girl probably thought you were talking at her in French."

"Comme si elle avait sais passi j'ai été."

"Je sais que la miel, mais une aneée de plus et nous sommes d'ici.

"Paris nois voice," Blair sighed dreamily.

"Waldorf you got a pen?" Blair gazed stonily at Dan who had twisted around in his chair to grin at her. He kinked an eyebrow, "well, have you?"

"Didn't your Daddy buy a shiny new one for the start of the school year?"

Dan shrugged, "lost it."

"I don't have a pen," she snapped shrilly, "and don't talk to me; I actually have to pass this class!"

"Woah hey, so do I," he retorted crossly.

"No," she said flatly, "you have to attempt to write your name at the top of a paper, I actually have to come up with a valid reason for why Shakespeare thought it would be a good idea to inflict Hamlet on the universe."

For some reason Dan seemed to take offence to what was a blatant statement of truth so he really didn't need to have a tantrum about it but it meant he turned round with a scowl and she could focus on their English teacher in peace.

Wordlessly Nate flicked a pen at Dan and Dan caught it, nodding his thanks. Blair shot Nate a betrayed look and he rolled his eyes, sticking his tongue out at her. She responded in kind, crossing her eyes-

"Miss Waldorf," she jumped and looked up at Mr Hale guiltily, "was your facial expression worthy of demonstration for the whole class, something we should all know about? Or would you like to get back to reading Hamlet's first soliloquy?"

"The latter," she said a little shamefacedly.

Mr Hale nodded, "as I expected." He made his way back up the classroom handing out papers as he went, "you've all been assigned a group number, find your group, discuss the points on the sheet. I want you to pick from the statements at the top and create a presentation for show in two weeks-" he paused at the desk and blinked at them all, "go!" He barked and everyone jumped up to find their corresponding numbers.

And Mr Hale must have some sort of sordid sense of humour because the number at the top of Blair's page matches the one she can see on Dan's. Chuck Bass, seemingly materialised from nowhere, slammed his sheet down on her desk, "this is a joke," he growled.

Blair winced and shook her head, "maybe we could-"

"No swapping," Mr Hale interrupted, glowering at Lorna Grassven who had obviously been asking to be with her boyfriend and really? Sometimes Blair thinks her peers were all born without brains.

Speaking of brainless idiots, she turned to sigh exasperatedly at Dan and Chuck, "do we have a fourth?"

"Nope, looks like we're the lucky group with only three," Dan snapped, tugging his chair round awkwardly so he could face her desk.

"Do you have to do that?"

Dan growled, low in his throat and Blair rolled her eyes, "alright alright, keep your panties on Humphrey."

She glanced between them both and sighed, Mr Hale really must have a sick sense of humour or be some sort of karmic retribution because to pair her with Chuck Bass and Dan Humphrey? She must have been ruthlessly evil in a previous life.