TW: Cursing, anxiety, references to self-harm and suicide, fire
Hello everyone! It's me, Xelly! I presume you've read the title and can tell that this is not your regularly scheduled update. But have no fear! LD (that's what I call The Life of a Daughter for short) will still be getting its normal Wednesday update! I just felt a little burnt out today after everything, so I decided that instead of writing more for the story, I'd instead just write whatever the hell I wanted! So here I am! Writing! I had a few things I wanted to talk (write) about, so I'll just organize them into topics.
TOPIC 1- WRITING
Spoiler alert for all you hopeful fanfiction writers out there...
WRITING IS HARD AF.
Not even kidding. Whether you've got 10 reads or 10,000 reads, it's super hard. Why? I'm glad you asked your computer screen like a weirdo. The reason why it's so hard for me personally is because, (contrary to popular belief), I have a life. I have schoolwork, babysitting, family stuff, Jewish stuff (happy Rosh Hashanah!), and friend stuff. That makes it really hard for me to find time to just sit and write. Most of the time, I finish a part on the day I put it out. And then I look back at the part, and I realize that holy shit, that's bad. But it's not like I can do anything about it! It's already out! Of course, I do edit the rare spelling or grammar error. But when I look over the whole of LD, I realize so many things I could've done better. My biggest worry is about how badly I think I paced the story, as I was never really specific about the time. So, I'm going to clear something up quickly! The story is set 50 years before Ethan Winters and the Village Incident. Just for the record.
Another thing about fanfiction that's hard is I feel really guilty about calling my parts 'chapters'. You'll notice me evade the word, and it's just because I don't think the updates are worth being called that. I try to keep my parts between 1,000-1,500 words, and that's shorter than what I feel a 'chapter' should be. Also, 'chapters' tend to be structured pretty well, and as I'm sure you've noticed, my parts are structured horribly. Two 500 word paragraphs. That's it. The only reason why I haven't changed it is because I'm too afraid of what will happen when I do. In the sequel (and hell yeah, there's gonna be a sequel) I plan on structuring the story way better, and pushing myself to make parts 2,000-3,000 words. Then and only then will I feel that I've deserved the right to call my updates 'chapters'. I am my own harshest critic, I admit it. For all you fanfiction writers out there, don't punish yourself like I do. (Your writing is amazing! 3)
TOPIC 2- FANS
HOLY CRAP, THERE'S A LOT OF YOU. Last I checked, we had 16,209 views. 16,209 views. That's fucking crazy. This is the most popular story I've ever written on any platform. The support you all give me on every part just absolutely blows my mind, and I can't believe we've come so far. Remember the first part? I wish I could tell that Xelly from before what was going to happen. Of course, they wouldn't have believed me, but I wish I could've given myself some sort of warning. In no way shape or form was I prepared for this. Honestly, it's more than a little terrifying to have this many people reading my writing. That's why I try to make every part as best as it can be! But if you gathered anything from the last topic I talked about, I am never satisfied with myself. And I don't mean that in a narcissistic way. I mean, who the hell allowed someone with social anxiety to have a popular fanfiction?! That's definitely not healthy! You all would not believe how many times I proofread each update before I post it. (A lot.) Sometimes, I'll delete more than 300 words when I'm not happy with it. Seriously.
Now that there's so many of you, I really really really want to try and make a Discord server. Do you all think that's a good idea? I would like to get to know you all and seriously get to talk to you outside of Fanfiction! I can know the real you, and you can know the real Xelly! Of course, there's definitely the possibility that you don't want to know me at all and just want me to leave you alone. But I hope that's not the case! (Please, my self esteem is low enough as it is ;-;) I could make some custom roles, take some one-shot requests, stuff like that. And, once LD and the sequel are finished, you can even pick which fanfiction I post next! I actually do have a Don't Starve one I'm working on, but I don't intend to post it until it's finished. Unless you want it posted sooner...? If I were to post it now, the updates would be nowhere near as consistent (what am I saying, my updates are never consistent) as LD's are. I'm thinking of calling it Evade the Inevitable? If, by some miracle, you know me on the Don't Starve Fandom Wiki, than you'll know that I actually started that fanfiction a while ago. But I didn't like where it was going, and my writing skill has improved, so I'm just erasing that one and slapping that title on a new one. Woohoo.
TOPIC 3- WHO I AM
I'm realizing that in all 26 (not counting the personal note) parts, I've never really talked about myself too much, have I? Well, here's the thing that you never asked for! You already know that I'm Xelly (not my real name, obviously), and I'm not telling you my age. But here's other stuff about me! I really like video games, including Resident Evil Village (double obviously), Undertale, Don't Starve, Hollow Knight, Pokemon, Stardew Valley, and other RPGs. I also like drawing, and I mostly draw fanart for RTGame or stuff in manga-style. My all-time favorite thing is reading, though. Yeah. I'm a right proper geek. I'm so geeky I literally went to a renaissance fair yesterday. I was in cosplay, so if you saw a medieval fairy, that was me. Oh yeah, I'm a cosplayer! If you're going to MAGFest 2022, look for someone in cosplay of Jun from The World Next Door! Come up and say hi! Don't do it like a creep, though. I won't hesitate. You don't need to know what I'll do, just know I won't hesitate.
I'm not all nonbinary sunshine and pansexual rainbows, though. I'm pretty messed up in my head. I have severe social anxiety, which is constantly making me feel really bad. I don't really want to go into too much detail, but I have done pretty bad things to myself and tried to do even worse. Yeah. And that isn't exactly made better by the fact that I'm a mild pyromaniac. Fire just makes me feel things I can't feel any other way. In fact, even for a few minutes, I forget about everything that's wrong with me. Damn, that got a little dark. Sorry, muffins! I'll try to keep it light and sweet from now on. Except, of course, when it's an angsty chapter time. Don't we all just loooooooove those?
I'm pretty tired, so I think I'm gonna end this here. I hope this was nice to read! See you all on Wednesday!
TL;DR: Writing is hard, Discord is cool, I'm fucked up.