If there had been anything in her life that she could compare to the feeling she felt in her chest right now... It would have been her summoning day for Molag Bal. The level of fear and uncertainty that filled her was almost on par with that night, even when she spent her mortal life worshipping the daedric lord. Even when she had expected to be defiled by the evil deity, on the day of reckoning, Serana had been scared.
Reality had struck her in the face harder than a slap, she had been bare in front of Molag Bal when the light returned in her eyes and the sneer grew upon the daedra's face. When the demonic lord had grabbed ahold of her arm to pull her close...- Serana remembered crying and screaming.
While the situation now wasn't as horrific, Serana felt those same emotions course through her and she was stuck staring at the bosmer with wide eyes.
Irina wore the expression of remorse.
Her brows were furrowed tight making those beautiful eyes bunch up. She held her head down a little and that shadowed her eyes from view, the only thing visible from them was the vampiric glow. Also... Irina wore certainty, which was a threatening combination. She had made up her mind and the nord knew there would no nothing she could do or say that could sway her.
Nonetheless, the rage that boiled into the nord was enough to go mad and rightfully so.
"What in the name of Molag Bal... are you even saying?" Serana seethed with a growl to her voice.
Her normally smooth voice was strained and it went into a deeper octave. Dainty brows were furrowed and the darkening aura surrounding her would have, on a normal occasion, threatened Irina. However, the dovahkiin knew the loathing that would engulf the nordic woman. She expected this reaction.
One thing that had actually shocked Irina was that Serana had allowed herself to succumb to rage. Knowing everything that she did, Irina had been shocked. The woman had blown up at her mother and that was to be expected, Valerica had crossed a line with Irina and had blatantly disrespected her. Serana exploded at her mother in defense of her lover.
If Irina had to describe that type of anger, it would've been like lightning. Powerful and takes one by surprise with its thunderous presence, but gone away in the same second.
But now...? Irina could see the rage boiling inside her. She could see the slow rage begin to escalate to something deeper than hate or anger, it was disbelief, betrayal, and... loathing.
Irina turned to face her fully, her own hair was matted with sweat and dirt from the Soul Cairn. Her lip cut open, the blood dried on her mouth resulting in flakes curling around her lips. Parts of her face were marred with scrapes that were bright red from the blood that threatened to spill over the skin. Areas of her body that were exposed that didn't have a newly forming scar were gifted with dark lesions.
Obviously beaten within an inch of her life from the Keepers they had both battled inside. Her armor was cracked, covered in her own blood and growing heavier by the second. The woman was close to passing out from the blood loss, from the exhaustion her body felt and the wave of warmth and tired that gently settled her eyelids halfway down.
"It's not by choice. It's the last thing I had hoped to do. Miraak's threat is a larger one than what your father poses, as the dragonborn I must do this" as she spoke, she felt completely drained of all energy, from the battle with the Keepers, the dragon and then the journey it was to walk back to the portal... she was so tired. The conversation taking place was tiring. Miraak always nit-picking the sides of her mind was tiring. Serana was tiring.
Everything was tiring her.
"Can't you ever shut your mouth about your duty?! No one ever asked for you to risk your life every time something is amiss! That's exactly the sort of thing people are going to say should you ever have the self-respect to ask for something in return"
"You know that I would never, so why even try to sway my mind? Because I finally said I love you? Are you trying to put your selfish desire on me to stay? Miraak is beyond any other mortal on Tamriel. I know what I must do, and you're not making things easy" Irina said with a little bite in her voice. Her anger was simmering, and though it was but a small fire kindled by mere sticks... Serana's words had begun to stab her heart.
Self-respect to ask for something in return? If she wanted to poke fun at her honor the woman was not subtle.
"I don't love the rest of Skyrim, I don't love tamriel. I love you, and you dare tell me that I'm making things difficult? You'd have to be worse than my damn father to even say that" Serana was beginning to become more vocal of what she thought, Irina was very obviously displeased by her words. To compare her to Harkon? That was crossing a line and despite the knife in her heart twisting and turning the young elf tightened her lips and clenched her jaw, she wouldn't let the nord see her discomfort.
She never let anyone see her discomfort. Serana was no different.
"It's unfortunate that you do, because I disagree. Move out of my way" Irina said with a firm voice. She was struggling to withold her anger at the nord, the comparison to her scumbag of a father had nicked the elf's pride and while Irina knew she was talking out of passion and anger, it was still all the more painful. People speak hidden truths when they're angry.
Serana stood there in her mother's laboratory, simply staring at the bosmer with eyes that were narrowed into slits. She was a foot away from the shorter woman and blocking her exit, the nord opened her mouth to speak but immediately closed it. She took an analytical look at Irina once more, the angrier the nord was... the less words she spoke.
She noticed this little habit of the bosmer and it finally registered in Serana's mind that her words were too out of line to be forgiven and that she probably just made Irina even more sure of her decision. She couldn't help herself at the realization, and her jaw went slack.
Irina could see the thoughts racing in Serana's head and her argument dying. As her shoulders relaxed, Irina felt herself release the air she had held in. Which was a mistake, because somehow, that lone action bothered her stab wound. A terrible sting rocked up the spine of the woman and she clenched her jaw. However despite the pain, Irina did not change her expression.
There was a silence between them, it hung heavy in the air with the pressure of angst.
Serana swallowed a lump in her throat and licked her lips nervously, when she opened her mouth she meant to apologize. But what had left her mouth was "If you leave, I won't accept you back. Don't expect me to wait for you, if you leave me now. I won't... I won't put myself through all the heartbreak, just because you can't drop your pride" Serana said with a small falter to her voice.
Irina's eyes widened to the size of saucers and she stared dumbly at the nord. The heartache that was infused into her face was so... beautifully tragic. The expression that Irina lacked was now evident on her face, and Serana wanted to grab her arm and crash their lips together at the pureness of the emotion.
The wind from outside flew through the cracks in the castle's stonework and it made a light howling noise inside the laboratory. Irina swallowed a lump in her throat and met her eyes once more, the hurt that seeped into the eyes of the bosmer had Serana look away in regret. Irina cleared her throat and gave her answer despite knowing she would break Serana's heart, "I can't even begin to describe how badly that h-hurt...-"
Irina cut herself off. She placed her hand on her mouth and inhaled deeply, before Serana could even speak the woman began again "If that's how you want to settle this, then fine. So be it... and Serana? Don't you dare ever compare me to that shit of a man again"
Serana couldn't hold on any longer, her chest formed a tight ball that threatened to block any air from entering and leaving her body. The heartbreak she felt was suffocating. The nord took a reluctant step forward, to the dovahkiin. Irina kept her eyes low and refused to look at her.
She didn't mean it. The nord had to take it back before it was too late, but her pride simply wouldn't allow it. She knew how wrong that had been, how wrong it was to push her own selfish desires on the woman, and in such a way. But she was right, her own mother had left her alone in a delicate time. For what? To plot against her father. Her father had detached himself completely from his own family and then Serana had to grow up in the neglect.
Everyone that she had ever cared for and the people that were supposed to love her, they had all left.
Then there was Irina... a woman who had introduced her to the world. Introduced her to love. Introduced her to making friends and... to simply live. Only to leave her too.
Irina looked forward, past the nord and begun to take steps toward the lonely little door that occupied Valerica's study. A door that led to outside, Irina would set her sights for the island now and worry about her wounds once she arrived to Solstheim. The journey on the back of a dragon would take a few hours at most, at least, that's what the bosmer hoped for.
Eyes devoid of any emotion passed the nord whose honey-colored eyes were riddled with tears.
Somehow... the nord couldn't find her voice to stop the bosmer.
A fortunate conversation that took place three weeks ago, one that opened the doors for a possible relationship between them had also led to the most unfortunate goodbye. As the door opened and closed behind her, the nord felt her legs begin to shake from the exhaustion of battle. The nord allowed herself to succumb to her bodies weakness and fell to the ground.
"What did I just do...?" she questioned with a small whimper of a voice.
Irina felt an unknown hand touch her forehead and she furrowed her brows, her eyes snapped opened to find one of the servants staring down at her with a worried expression. Erikur had populated Proudspire Manor with stewards and housekeepers. An annoyance to be sure. However, she supposed it made sense given his age. The old fool needed all hands on deck should he find himself somehow falling ill.
"My lady... You're awfully cold. Are you feeling sick at all? Would you like some medicine?" a young man asked her with the concern of a child caring for his mother. Irina had almost been flattered by the genuine worry, the dovahkiin shook her head and rose into a sitting position.
"Don't trouble yourself over it, I feel just fine" Irina said with a small yawn, and with a small hum she stretched her limbs out. A free hand waved him off dismissively and he acutely caught the motion, stood erect and gracefully bowed to her in understanding before he left the room entirely. The bosmer found herself watching the man as he left, it felt so foreign to her, having the wealth that she did and not using it like she should.
Her home was filled with servants... and the thought of having more than just the housecarl living inside the manor was strange.
Irina rubbed her eyes and watched the sun peek through the half-closed curtains. Erikur had decided it was best for the both of them to sleep in separate beds and she had no qualms at all about it. If the man was trying to make her feel upset for denying his advances the other night then he was failing in his mission, the bosmer hadn't the pleasure of concerning herself over such frivolous things.
She wondered if she discussed her affiliation with vampires with him, how would he react? Her friends were not so surprised, although it also wouldn't be a fair comparison to make between the two of them since her traveling companions were used to Irina dealing with other-wordly things.
After a bath and breaking her fast on an unsuspecting servant, did Irina find Serana. The nord had been reluctant to return to the manor, and even opted to Irina that she should just stay at the Winking Skeever for the night but the woman would not have it. A quality bed for a quality night's rest.
She knew that Serana needed it more than herself. After all, now it was time to look for Valerica. Irina was sure that came with stress and anxiety on Serana's part. A plethora of matters that needed to be settled between the two vampires, Irina could only imagine the turmoil going on in the nord's head.
"You look refreshed, how'd you sleep with your one true love?" Serana asked with a small smirk gracing her features. She came rounding the corner with a small white cloth in her hands, it was tinted red and Irina could smell the scent of blood lingering from it, a telltale sign that she had also drank from the servants.
Another thing the elf knew was that Serana knew Erikur had slept in a completely different room, hence her smirk.
"I slept soundly no thanks to him, he would've been quite the bother... all things considered"
"Naturally... How do you plan to set off? Are you to stay another day or what? I get the situation is delicate with him" Serana said leaning against the wall. Irina placed a hand on her neck and shrugged. It did not matter to the bosmer how the old man felt anymore, she couldn't even place much value on the guild anymore since the coin flow was more than enough to keep them afloat thanks to their name growing in Skyrim.
Her marriage was no longer necessary in simple terms.
"I'm not sure, I want to say I'd feel a little bad... But I know I won't. I think I'll let you decide, I understand the rush to see your mother is also a delicate situation" Irina responded with a gentle nudge to the nord's shoulder. A small smile was offered from the elf, and Serana who had been flustered by the brief contact rubbed her shoulder in the same spot that the bosmer touched.
"I'm in no particular rush to see her, It's more putting an end to what my father has planned. I mean... I do want to see her but I don't know what I'd say or how I'd react to seeing her, not exactly all happy nostalgia. Know what I mean?"
Irina nodded and gave her a reassuring look. Oh how the nord wanted to plant a kiss to her plump lips... Serana turned her head away and internally rolled her eyes. "Give me the rest of the day to think about it, I think it would make more sense to start traveling at night. The suns not good for my skin, or yours"
"Yes that makes sense, think on it and be sure to enjoy Solitude. I'm off to sell junk I don't need"
"Can I come with you?"
Irina looked visibly pleased at the question, and Serana couldn't tell if she had flushed at the quick response "of course you can, Serana" but the smile that grew on her face? Serana was very much aware of.
Their day was spent in the marketplace for a decent portion of the morning. At times, the nord wondered whether or not Irina was aware of how she surprised every single person around her with her nonchalant attitude toward certain things. Serana didn't have much experience with pleasantries and the concept of a normal conversation, although because
For example, the dovahkiin had entered the shop Bits and Pieces and had conjured her traveling ruck wordlessly. The owner did not seem fazed at all by this and Serana could only assume that they'd been used to this from the elf.
The thing that caught the redguard owner by surprise was the amount of dwarven artifacts Irina had at her disposal. Serana was also taken aback by this, in all the months they'd known one another the pair had never ventured inside a dwarven ruin. So to find out that Irina had a whole collection of dwarven metal, centurion cores and weaponry was quite the shock to the nord.
The owner's name was Sayma and she had been silently counting the dwarven centurion core's that Irina had casually stacked onto her counter. Once the elf was done with that, she proceeded to set a quiver down full of dwarven arrows. Easily at least thirty arrows inside the quiver and Serana glanced at the bosmer out of the corner of her eye. Only to catch a blank stare.
Unbeliavable.
Naturally the bosmer had cleaned the woman out of all her gold but that didn't seem to bother the shopkeep at all, she had new merchandise to sell and would be on her merry way to sell all of it in a heartbeat. A smirk was etched onto the elf's face and she glanced upwards toward Serana, "what are you grinning for? You're already wealthy" the nord asked with a raised brow.
"I'm comfortable, I wouldn't mistake that for wealthy" Irina said with a pointed finger. The taller woman found herself rolling her eyes at the bosmer and Irina suddenly laughed at the expression Serana made. A scoff was earned but followed soon after with a smile that Serana failed to quash.
Strong arms scooped up the traveling ruck and Irina carried it in a firm bearhug, she thanked the redguard and nodded to Serana. As they left Bits and Pieces a distant, "come again!" was heard.
The morning went by peacefully, with no interruptions from Erikur. Which had surprised Serana, all things considered wouldn't he want to see his wife? Granted the marriage itself was a sham but if there was anything other than appearances that he wanted to uphold, then his goal would be to be seen around the city with her at least for a short period of time.
She clasped her hands behind her back and relaxed her shoulders, why had she decided to think of him anyway? It wasn't as if Serana herself was married to the man.
"You're frowning, is something on your mind?" Irina interjected with a curious gaze.
"Ah... no, I was just bothered by the sun. I fed but well, it still... is harsh" Serana lied. She hoped her expression wouldn't give her away and was thankful for the bosmer simply shrugging it off.
"I would have come at night if they bothered to be open for that long, these shopkeeps like to be in bed by eight" Irina said running a hand through her hair.
They were both vampires now, and Serana winced simply by looking at Irina. She had foregone her helmet, and let her light brown hair free. She still looked beautiful to be sure, however the sun was shining against her skin and the nord knew how painful that was. It was definitely a shock to the nord to see the woman travel without some sort of cover for so long.
Despite feeding on her servants in the early morning, Serana still felt a tiny prickle against her skin.
"Oh please, don't trouble yourself over me. Thane of Solitude" when Irina made to look at the nord, Serana had mocked her further by bowing to her height which resulted in the dovahkiin turning a shade of pink.
"You're enjoying yourself too much now..." she muttered in a low breath. As she stood erect, the nord had swiped the dovahkiin's nose with her index finger and gave her a small smirk. Her hood was pulled down to cover her eyes and the upper portion of her nose, which was a shame, Irina had thought the nord looked so beautiful in sunlight but if the rays had bothered so, the elf would settle for the smile that was revealed.
"When I'm with you, how could I not?" Serana asked with a shrug. She surprised herself with her words, she had never been so blunt before and despite confessing her feelings... it was an odd thing to do. Irina was thrown off by the honesty as well and could not keep her countenance in check, her eyes were wide and her mouth slightly agape.
The nord halted in tracks and Irina paused to stare at the nord. Serana bit her lower lip in nervousness but Irina took a step forward and grabbed a hold of her hand, "Stop stressing, It's okay. Only a little shocking, for you to be so bold, perhaps I'm rubbing off on you hmm?" her calloused hand was comforting and Serana soon let out a relaxed breath. Why did that stop their conversation? Normally, the bosmer would've brushed off the statement entirely. Gods... Serana was thinking too deeply into it.
"Yeah, sorry... I don't know what's going on with me lately" she replied with a sheepish smile. The nord retracted her hand from the elf's and kept her hands clasped behind her back again, Irina let her own arm hang loosely by her side and nodded back to her.
"I've only got some blades left to sell, then we can head back to the manor if you like"
Serana nodded and followed closely after the shorter woman up some stone stairs leading to the Solitude blacksmith. On her way up the steps, the nord held the hand that Irina grabbed and squeezed it tenderly with her other hand. A blush sported her features and she found herself becoming short of breath, "definitely not a passing fancy..." she mumbled quietly under her breath.
When they returned to the manor, Irina made her way to the basement. She claimed to have a forge and straw dummies to practice her swordsmanship on and was rather excited to sharpen her daedric sword and finally place an enchantment on her blade. Serana left her to her devices and walked herself to the room that the servants had prepared her.
The vampire royal had lounged on her bed with her arms spread out on the soft featherbed. Her golden eyes stared holes into the ceiling, it would be a smart thing to sleep her worries away and to come to Irina with her answer concerning their leave of Solitude. Also to suggest that she should consider traveling during the night, Serana was unsure of how long she could go with voluntarily walking in the sun.
She could already imagine how the bosmer would stare at her in disbelief. A small frown etched onto her dainty features, with light brown hair being brushed back behind her head and a simple shrug in response. Serana knew she would agree to it as well, there'd certainly be no reason to reject that choice. Serana was sure that the only reason they bothered to travel in the daylight was because Irina liked the scenery.
Skyrim was definitely a beautiful province, and Irina was a fan of nature.
"I don't think I'll ever tire of your antics... you short fool" Serana muttered to herself. She allowed herself a smile in private, simply thinking of that woman... it was enough for the nord to forget her worries, at least for a small moment.
Her lips turned upwards even more so at the thought that crossed her mind. Serana was in love with the dragonborn. How many other men and women had thought that sentence in their minds? How many of the elf's traveling companions had grown to love her as well? A soft sigh escaped the nord's lips and she scratched her temple with her index finger, "I know she's popular... how could she not be? She's beautiful"
Another sigh left the woman's lips and she sunk further into the featherbed.
She never would have imagined that being in love would be so painfully one-sided. Irina was starting to look at her more and more like a sister nowadays. At least, that's what Serana thought anyway, "look at me, concerned over love..."
She shook her head and decided to lay on her side, trying to turn the page of her mind to something else that wasn't either depressing or annoying. Which was a hard thing to not do, all things considered with her family and then Irina. The wood elf who had snared her heart so easily, without even trying.
What had been the thing to pique her interest? Serana furrowed her brows to their first encounter inside Dimhollow. No... It definitely wasn't there, the bosmer was too cordial and was on high-alert for Serana to have noticed anything special about her. She had also been on high-alert as well, so most definitely not there... Perhaps, inside the Winking Skeever?
The body of the dovahkiin was simply a marvel. She remembered being very taken aback by how perfectly sculpted the elf was, then there was the scars across her body... something about the marks on her skin had Serana bite her lower lip in appreciation. The slope of her shoulders and the line down her back as well, Irina was muscular and short but she also had a certain slenderness to her. It drove the nord mad, how could one look so strong and petite at the same time?
Her hands were calloused from training and battles, but her fingers still held a small little point to them. They were feminine from a simple glance but when one really observes, you could see the roughness of the skin and how they managed to become a little thick from years of wielding a sword. She was a warrior through and through.
Serana wondered what it would be like for those same hands to cup her slender cheeks and turn her head towards the dovahkiin, in a romantic gesture. Or even, to grab ahold of her face and forcefully shove her tongue down her throat...-
A small whimper escaped Serana's lips at the extent of her fantasy and she tried to control her breathing. Which, for some reason was erratic. Her silent heaving and the warmth that spread across her face was shamefully embarrassing but at the same time also arousing...? Serana cursed silently at herself and groaned quietly when she squeezed her thighs together.
Oh how did things come to this? Can't she ever keep her mind clean for once? Always, whenever Irina crossed her mind Serana had something to think about. Always the same thing, the shorter woman on top of her and kissing her in a way that was almost dominating. Her calloused hand lightly squeezing her airways while her tongue darted in and out of her mouth.
"D-damn it..." Serana moaned lightly against the covers of her bed. She stretched her body out to keep from laying still in the waves of her own arousal but soon found that she couldn't keep herself from picturing the countless times the elf had been damn near exposed to her. Serana had seen Irina's sex and almost went into a frenzy at the sight. The one thing she hadn't seen were the colors of her nipples, she could only assume they were brown but what type of brown? Light? Like her skin, or were they dark?
She raised a leg up as she lay on her stomach and felt the primal urge to grind her hips against her bed. Serana's leg twitched when she shifted her hips and she buried her face in her arms out of embarrassment. "Irina, damn you... mmm-!" the ancient vampire proceeded to shamefully grind on her bed for any type of stimulation to her sex and found herself breathing rhythmically to her pace.
The pictures in her mind were only of Irina, when the bronze-skinned woman wore a snug little nightdress. The curve of her backside was simply tempting to grab ahold of and the shape of her bodice was prominent. How she wanted to glide her hand upwards from the elf's naval to her breasts, to fondle and squeeze them. Place her mouth on Irina's nipples and feel the squirm of the elf's body underneath her, if her nipples were as sensitive as Serana's then Irina could not keep still.
The heat coming from her face was almost dizzying and feeling her arousal became more and more prominent. "mmm..." she sighed softly to herself.
The next half hour was spent shamefully in her bed with her hand down her slacks, her cheeks were burning hot and her moans tiny and muffled against her free hand. Serana could feel herself becoming closer and closer to climax with every pump of her fingers. She could feel the erratic twitch of her hips everytime she pushed her fingers against her walls.
The last image in her mind was when the female pair had been in Riften. When the woman had been bathing herself and bent over to scrub at her legs, the exposing of her womanhood and the shameless look the bosmer returned Serana's flustered shock.
"f-fuck...-!" Serana reached her climax with an arched back and twitching legs. She bit down on her jaw to prevent any more sounds from leaving her and heaved deep breaths to try and control her body from the convulsions.
Serana lay on her bed with rosy cheeks staring aimlessly at the ceiling. Somehow, her hair was slightly askew and she had begun to sweat just a tad. Her hand was still buried in-between her soft thighs, something that she dreaded to remove due to the smell that would soon hit her nose. The nord inhaled deeply through her nose and shifted a bit on her back and as she released her breath to finally keep her breathing even, a knock came at the door.
"Serana...? I'm going to let myself in" a voice came from the other side of the door, it belonged to Irina.
The nord tensed and immediately removed her hands from her legs, a wave of urgency hit the poor woman while the door opened with a light creak. The nord shoved her hand underneath her legs and sat up straight against the headboard of the bed, and tried with much unnoticed effort to look as elegant as possible.
Irina had the worst possible timing.