For our lovely Fran. You are a sweetheart and someone we think very highly of. We hope our little story gives you a laugh, some warm fuzzies, and a big smile.

Story by: EnchantedbyTwilight, OhGeeFantasy, gabby1017 & ceceprincess1217

Better Than Wood

OhGee

I had finished packing my humongous suitcase yesterday for my long-awaited getaway in the Bahamas. I truly only need my carry on, considering all I plan on doing is soaking up the warmth of the sun in a teeny tiny bikini, but I guess I should dress nicely for our nightly dinner reservations and have a clean outfit for the flight home. So I threw in some pretty above-the-knee dresses.

My mind drifts back to the two-hundred and fifty dollars I willingly paid at Macy's for the little scrap of fabric they call a swim suit,which barely conceals my private parts. Thankfully my unmentionable area is waxed and pretty.

If the suit doesn't do the trick then nothing will.

Falling to my back on my unmade bed, I close my eyes and daydream about the frozen mango daiquiri I'll have in one hand and my iPhone camera in the other, enjoying the sun, surf, and hopefully eye candy in the form of bronze, godlike men—in board shorts. I can't bring myself to look at banana hammocks; it's just so wrong.

"Yep. I'll be waiting at the airport for you, Rose." I exaggeratedly nod my head as she rambles on and on about where we're going to meet. She's kind of freaking out, but I know she will be fine. Otherwise, I wouldn't have insisted on her accompanying me to the Bahamas for my thirtieth birthday. She's been my best friend since third grade and is taking a huge leap by leaving her husband Emmett at home with their son for the weekend. I have faith in him and so does she, but Rose has never left little Alec for more than one night since he was born-five years ago.

"Bella, quit nodding. I can practically hear your hair swish over the phone line," she scolds but then laughs. "I guess I'm nervous about leaving the boys all alone until Monday," she sighs.

"Thank you, Rose. I know it's going to be tough for you to leave the boys, but I guarantee I'll bedragging your ass back to the airport so we don't miss our flight. The warm sun kissing our pasty skin and the white sand between our toes is a hell of a lot better than cloudy, cold New York with dirty snow under our boots."

"You're probably right."

"I'm completely right."

"Tell me again why you need me to come with you?" She teases.

"Because you're my best friend, it's my birthday, and I need you to help me find my soul mate."

"You're looking too hard," Rose says with sadness in her voice. "Just let it happen, Bella. I promise the perfect guy is out there waiting for you."

"You've been saying that same thing to me since we graduated college-seven years ago."

"I promise it will happen for you. Also, I give you my solemn promise not to let you get drunk and leave the beach with some weirdo in a Speedo because you insist your beer glasses are only a little foggy." She laughs and snorts, and I can't help but laugh along with her. Six years ago at Bree's Bar and Grill, I thought I had met the love of my life. Turns out, after seven beers and a shot of tequila,the carved wooden cowboy statue outside the ladies restroom was looking pretty fine. That night wasn't one of my finest moments. I had insisted he had a hard-on for me but Rose says it was his belt buckle I was leaning into.

"Gee, thanks." I snicker some more and tell my friend goodbye. I still need to paint my toes 'Fifty Shades of Red', so they match my black with red polka dot bikini, and then get some sleep because five a.m. will be here before I know it.

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Gabby

"So, I am right?" I arrogantly coughed quickly as I watched Rose digging her toes into the hot sand sucking her straw flat.

She slurped up the rest of her frozen berry Mojito, caught her breath and slurred, "Bella-Baby, yessh, you were right. I admit it. This beats the dirty streets, the bitter cold and ..." She sees the cabana beach boy. "You hoo!" She points to her empty glass. "Hey, you gorgeous little man, can you bring me another one?"

He smiled with quick feet and stood near Rose's chair. "And you are drinking, ma'am?"

Rose frowned in deep thought. "What was I drinking, Bella?"

Laughing, I informed the cute jailbait of Rose's liquid poison. "And I'll have another frozen mango daiquiri, please."

Off he went as we stared at his tight, teenage tush.

"I don't recall ever seeing a guy in high school like him!"

"Emmett used to have a tight tush. Now, he's has a s-soft beer belly. I kind of like it." Rose shifted in her lounge chair and sat sideways.

"He's still pretty fit. Doesn't he still go to the gym?" I asked in his defense.

"Please, Belly ..." She hiccuped three times. "Ooo, excuse me." He hasn't been inside a gym since Alec was born." She paused and took a deep breath. "I hope to God he doesn't forget to feed him."

I added, "Or the cat and the dog." Laughing hysterically, I turned to my side, faced Rose and held onto my sides, giggling.

Rose frowned again and protested, "I don't have a cat or a dog. What are you talking about, Bella?"

"Just checking to see if you were listening."

"I'm right next to you. I may be drunk, but I can hear." She shook her head but slyly glared at me.

"What?"

She puckered her glorious lips and shushed me, "Quiet, here comes baby hottie."

Cradle-boy-toy returned with our drinks and a tray of spicy hors d'oeuvres.

Rose quickly objected, "We didn't order anything."

Politely, cabana cutie explained, "The guy over by the tiki hut ..." He points up the beach to a straw roof bar. "He sent all of this to you. He also wants to know if you ladies would like to join him for dinner."

Rose and I turned our heads at the same time, dropped our jaws and whispered, "Oh. !"

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CC

Rose inspects me over one last time. The tight little red dress fits snugly to every curve of my body. Rose has on her pajamas, but she teases a loose strand of my hair and places it perfectly to the side.

"You look fuck hot! I'll do you," she says as she walks over to her bed.

"That's not fucking happening. Are you sure you won't change your mind? He did invite both of us. I mean he may not even be interested in me," I say for the one thousandth time.

"He's interested. I saw the way he looked at you. Now run a long and have fun. I've got a good feeling about this."

I leave the room. My nerves are shot to hell. I hope I don't totally embarrass myself and throw up because the way my stomach is feeling, I'm not sure I can hold anything down. I reach the hotel bar and spot the fine piece of man from earlier. He spots me, giving me a dazzling smile as I walk up to him.

"Wow, you look amazing. Thank you for accepting my invitation. I'm Edward Cullen." I place my hand in his, and my heart skips a beat when he kisses my hand.

"Bella Swan," I breathe out.

"Beautiful. Indeed you are." He ushers me through the restaurant to a table for three outside on the terrace.

"I'm sorry. Rose couldn't make it. She wanted to call home and check on her family," I explain as I take the offered seat.

"I must confess, I only invited her in hopes to make you feel more comfortable with a stranger, but having you to myself is exactly what I had wished since I spotted you in that sinful bikini." His eyes dance across my face and my exposed cleavage.

"Thank you for the invitation. You were correct there are safety in numbers." A waiter comes and fills our glasses with champagne.

Edward holds up his glass, the cool Bahamian breeze blowing around us. "To getting to know each other."

I clink my glass to his, staring into his green eyes. I am locked in his gaze, and my heart stops for a second and then starts again. Who is this man and why am I so enamored with him.

Once we are finished with our meal and have learned all that there is to know about a person in the course of an hour, Edward and I take a long walk on the beach. We abandoned our shoes by the hotel and we stroll barefoot, hand in hand.

"Have you enjoyed your birthday weekend thus far?" he asks as we stop in front of the crystal blue ocean.

"It has gotten surprisingly better." His arms wrap around my waist, and he pulls me into him.

I can practically feel every muscle of his hard firm body. "Why is that?"

I look up into his eyes, my body tingling with the anticipation of kissing those pouty fucking lips of his. "Because of you."

The words are barely out of my mouth before his lips are pressed against mine and my body pulled tighter against his. I let him in willingly and our tongues glide together like lost lovers once again found. Every inch of my body tingles with desire for him and I know with that one kiss that I have found him.

My soulmate.

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Tracy (or as CC calls me, Tits!)

1 month later

I hit pause on the remote before rewinding and watching again. It couldn't be. Why would my Edward be in police custody?

Rose and I walked the tunnel to board the plane after she dragged me from Edward's arms. Tears flowed freely down my cheeks as I heard Edward's voice grow softer the farther away I got. He was shouting I love yous and I will see you soons over the din of the crowd.

We had spent the very best days of my life on the beach. We had sunned. We had sailed. We had talked. And then we had spent nights wrapped around each other, whispering sweet nothings—which were everything. When I arrived home, we spoke every day and every night, making plans to be together.

When I told him I was from New York, I noticed a slight cringe, his body stiffening slightly. When I asked him about it, he said it was nothing. He mentioned something about bad memories and changed the subject. I didn't think much about it at the time, but now, seeing him handcuffed on the six o'clock news, it made sense why he had reacted.

The words flashed across the screen: wanted, fugitive, witness, RICO. None of those fit the Edward who had held me in his arms, the man who had made me laugh, who had made me feel loved for the first time in my life.

I turned up the volume on the set and tried to listen to the newscaster.

"Police say that Dr. Edward Cullen, grandson of Edward Cuccanelli, alleged former head of the Cuccanelli crime syndicate, surrendered himself to federal agents today. Sources tell us that while Dr. Cullen has never been indicted in New York state, he may have knowledge of crimes that could put away members of the family for good. Let's go now to Peter James, live at the Federal Building."

"Thanks, Katie. We hear that they may be moving Dr. Cullen soon."

"Peter, what can you tell us about Dr. Cullen?"

"Katie, Edward Cuccanelli is Esme Cuccanelli Cullen's father. Esme married alleged mob hit man Carlisle Cullen in 1980. Edward was born in 1983 and the Cullen family moved to Chicago. Dr. Cullen was reportedly a well-mannered young man who was involved in many activities and he was able to maintain straight As, garnering him academic scholarships which ultimately allowed him to graduate Magna Cum Laude from Northwestern.

Katie, wait a minute. I hear commotion and…Yes, they are bringing him out now."

They weren't telling Bella anything she didn't already know, well except who his grandfather was and the fact they were calling his father a hit man. Bella's attention was turned back to the TV when question after question was being shouted.

"Edward, why did you come to New York?"

"Why did you turn yourself in?"

"What exactly do you know?"

"Officer, what are you charging Dr. Cullen with?"

Edward paused in front of the camera and looked into the lens. Bella could feel those eyes burning into her soul.

"I came to New York for love."

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OhGee

Six months later

Edward is beauty personified, lounging on his stomach concealing those rippled six-pack abs I love so much. His copper hair is tousled from our early morning romp in the hammock and from the salty breeze blowing in from the ocean. The sun kissed the crystal blue water on the horizon as he held my hips and marked my breasts with love nips as we made love. It is perfect-well, as perfect as WitSec can be.

I trail my fingertips down his spine, leaving goosebumps in my wake, and he wiggles his tight ass in rebellion. He loves my fingers. He's told me as much. But he's ticklish, and I know how to get him right where I need him—on his back with me riding him once more before our cabana boy comes to take our order for lunch.

"This is the life," Edward utters as he flips to his back and snatches me up into his arms.

I squeal from the unexpected attack and revel in his affection.

"You like hiding?"

"I call this a permanent vacation, Mrs. Masen."

I purse my lips and lean forward for a kiss. Edward's, or rather Tony's, kisses are reminiscent of Great Whites snapping up chum by fishing boats. We've been on quite a few fishing expeditions since we've been in Australia, so I've witnessed firsthand how these sharks are hunters and not the hunted.

Unfortunately for us, we are the hunted. Or at least Edward is the wanted one. When he turned in several members of his family to the FEDS, all bets of a safe life flew out the window.

"Anywhere with you is a vacation."

"Really?"

I nod, smiling.

"When are we going to start our family?"

Edward has been asking for my blessing to start a family. He was very close to his cousins and loved his parents, but he couldn't live a life of crime anymore. He had admitted that once he saw me on the beach in the Bahamas, he knew his life was going to change-for the better. Life as a free man, or almost free, was what he yearned for as long as it included me.

"I want to be sure we are completely safe here before we try." He knows this already.

"But, baby …?"

I touch the end of his nose with the tip of my finger. "No buts."

He slaps my ass playfully and then rubs the sting away. "I like butts."

I push at his chest smiling as I lift myself off the huge lounger in the cabana. "Want some water?"

Edward shakes his head. "I want babies."

"Tough luck, Tony."

He sits up, running long fingers through his sex-hair and then pats his lap for me to return to him. I can't help but smile. He's always gotten his way, or so he has said, and now when I call the shots, he pouts like a child. It's endearing really. I love the way his bottom lip protrudes, trying to get me to do as he wishes.

"Sometimes, I think the wooden cowboy statue would be a lot easier to deal with." I wink and then hop back onto the lounger laughing.

"I'll give you something harder than wood if you so desire."

I'm once again engulfed by his muscled arms, but this time I'm situated firmly under his body with my legs wrapped around his waist.

A voice clearing interrupts Edward's attempt at changing my mind about babies.

"Oh, hi, Seth." I sit up, greeting our cabana boy, and Edward doesn't have the decency to look ashamed of the position we've been caught in.

"Hello, Mrs. Masen."

"It's Izzy. Just call me Izzy."

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CC

Another Six Months later

Forks, Washington population who the hell knows, but it's small as hell. We have been moved to our final witsec location after the trial which is perfect since we are expecting our first child soon. I know it happened in that damn cabana in Australia. When I was saying no, my birth control was saying yes please. Edward, or shall I say Masen Whitlock, and his super sperm.

I rub my five-month pregnant belly, smiling as I sit in the nursery in our new home surrounded by baby boxes. Edward is setting up the crib, looking all sweaty and sexy. My cell phone dings with a text. I check it and find it's Rose reporting her latest pregnancy to me. We are a due a few weeks apart, and I wish we could be together and raise our children in the same town.

"Rose has heartburn again, and she's not talking to Emmett because he made chili." Edward looks up at me from his spot on the floor.

"Poor fucking guy, doesn't he know everything is our fault."

I give him a bitch brow.

"Really, super sperm! You want to go there?"

"Not my fault my swimmers hit the mark, baby!" Edward crawls over to me and gets between my legs.

"I'm glad your swimmers hit the mark. Maybe we should go practice, so they can hit the mark again for number two in a few years."

His fingers skim up my maternity shirt tickling my belly.

"Bet your ass we need practice. Get down here and bend over Marie."

I giggle as I slide to the floor in front of him.

"Whatever you say Masen Jacob Whitlock."

He pulls me into him and ravishes my mouth.

I'm so glad he spotted me in the Bahamas all those months ago. Even with all the relocation, I still got my man, and if I have to move a thousand more times it will be worth it.