ESPOV

"How old are you?" I finally manage to stutter out the question that's been on my mind since I stumbled onto his journal. I really hadn't been snooping when I was in his office. I want Samson to have a place to spend time with Carlisle and his office seemed appropriate. He told me that he likes to read and do research in his spare time, although it would seem he hasn't had any spare time since I've been here because I haven't seen him use his office yet.

I hold eye contact with him waiting for him to answer my question. I know he would never lie to me and I trust him. I'm not afraid of him, I just want the truth.

"I am 377 years old. I was born in London in 1640." His voice is quiet but steady and he never takes his eyes off of mine.

"I…uh…I dont…How?!"

My heart is beating fast and I don't know what to think.

"Please don't be afraid, I would never hurt you. My father was a pastor and after my mother died, he spent all of his time ridding the world of evil creatures. You see, there were legends of supernatural beings who feasted on humans and killed people for sport. My father was obsessed with hunting them and, as soon as I was old enough, he enlisted my help in doing so. One night I led a group of men to the sewers of London, where we had learned the evil creatures living. When we arrived, there was a massive fight, and in the midst of the battle, I was injured. They thought I was dead and left without a second thought. As I laid there bleeding in the street, I knew I was changing into one of them; I would become an evil being and my father wouldn't hesitate to kill me if he found me. I hid myself until the change was complete and as soon as it was, I ran as far away as I could. That was in 1663. After I ran away, I was so repulsed by what I am that I tried to end my life; after several failed attempts, I discovered it was impossible and I vowed to be better than the monster that I was created to be."

My brain is running on overtime trying to wrap my mind around this story. Supernatural beings? 400 year old man? Murderous fathers? None of it seems to connect.

"What are you?" I whisper almost silently.

Carlisle sighs heavily and closes his eyes.

"I'm a vampire."

My sudden laughter must startle him because he jumps off of the floor and then stares at me with shock all over his face.

He's a vampire! Well that explains everything then: he never seems to eat anything, he's inhumanly beautiful, he speaks as if he's from a different time, his hearing seems better than most, and sometimes I think I see him move faster than what is humanly possible. That's just like me to run away from an abusive monster of a human and into the arms of a gentle, loving vampire.

"Esme?" he asks tentatively looking concerned.

"I'm fine," I tell him as I catch my breath. "I just can't believe this is happening. I'm not afraid, although I should be. I know you wouldn't hurt me, but I guess I'm just wondering how it works."

He sighs before sitting at the foot of my bed.

"I'll tell you anything you want to know."

"Why have you never tried to drink my blood? Is my blood different because I'm pregnant? Or do I not smell good to you? Do you like a certain blood type, or gender? What about work? How can you be around all of that blood and control yourself?"

I have questions coming out of my ears but I will settle with those first.

"I have never tried to drink your blood because I don't drink human blood, I never have. Most of my kind do, but my family and I choose to live a different way. We drink only the blood of animals. This is one of the ways I choose to not be a monster. I can smell your blood and it smells good to me, but I have no bloodlust towards you. I rarely have to deal with any bloodlust. I am very old and I have trained myself to abstain from human blood; after awhile I have become desensitized towards it. That is also how I deal with my job, centuries of practice. Also, I would never hurt you, I don't think it's physically possible for me to."

"Why?" I whisper the question that has been at the back of my brain since we met. "Why is it like this between us?"

"What do you feel?"

"I feel like I'm safe with you, despite my past and despite yours. I trust you with everything that I am. I feel like you are the sweetest and most thoughtful man on the planet and I want to be around you always. When I'm not in the same room with you, I feel myself being pulled to wherever you are, and just thinking about being away from you physically hurts me. You are the most handsome man I have ever seen and I lose myself looking at you sometimes. And it may sound weird but your scent does things to my body that can't be explained, it makes me feel calm and excited all at once and it makes me feel like I'm finally…home." I tell him honestly. "But I don't understand. This isn't normal. We've known each other for 3 days."

"First there is something you need to understand about my kind. For vampires, we mate for life. When we find our one, we never separate from them and if one dies, both will die. The connection is deeper than any kind of human love or lust, it connects their very hearts and souls. I have seen it with every one of my children. When one finds their mate, they just know; it's instinctual. There's an instant comfort and attraction, and they could never leave each other. That is what is happening with us. You are my mate and I am yours. I don't want you to think that makes you obligated to do anything. I am perfectly content with the way our relationship is right now. I want to move at your pace, however slow or fast that may be. I just want to be a part of your life in whatever capacity I can, and when you're ready for more, we will tackle that together."

I don't know what to say. This man is mine…forever, if I want. He will never cheat on me or hurt me, and he will always be there to love me. How did this happen to me? How did I earn the complete dedication, devotion, and love of this perfect, beautiful man?

"Esme, I would love to know what you are thinking."

"I was thinking that I don't know what I've done in my life to deserve your love and devotion, but it must have been exceptional. I can't believe this. You could have any woman you wanted, why me? I'm broken and scarred. Sometimes I can't even be touched without having a panic attack. I want everything possible with you, but I don't know if I will ever be ready for it."

"You will. It may take time, but we will have everything together. I will not rest until you are so blissfully happy, that you can't pull the smile from your face. I waited almost 400 years for you Esme, I can wait for as long as you like. I chose you and you are going to be my partner and my wife for as long as you'll have me, forever if you want. You are the most gorgeous, perfect woman I have ever seen and there will never be anyone for me, but you."

His eyes tell me that he's telling the complete truth.

"Okay" I tell him softly and a big yawn escapes.

"Why don't you lay down? We can talk more in the morning." He tells me as he helps me slide under the covers. Samson doesn't even acknowledge the movement, he's too busy snoring and kicking his feet like he chasing something in his sleep.

"Carlisle, um would you lay with me for awhile?"

"Of course. Let me go change clothes, I smell like a hospital." I smile and nod at him, and he's gone in literally the blink of an eye. It makes me giggle when I realize how fast he is.

In less than five minutes, he comes back in dressed in pajama pants and a plain white t-shirt. His hair is wet and dripping, and his feet are bare. He goes around to the other side of the bed and tries to climb in, but Samson is currently sprawled out on top of the blankets and it doesn't look like he's going to be moving any time soon. Carlisle takes his hand and scoots Sammy down to the foot of the bed before pulling the blankets up and climbing in. Sammy wakes briefly to glare at Carlisle and quickly curls up and goes back to sleep. I giggle at my disgruntled puppy and turn on my side to look at Carlisle. There's a stray water droplet traveling from his hair line down his temple to his cheek bone, and I swipe it away slowly with my thumb.

"Your skin is so cold." I muse with my hand still on his face.

He nods and looks at me sadly.

"I know. It's inconvenient sometimes and since I've met you, it's quickly become more and more bothersome." I smile at him because I know that he's disgruntled that he can't hold me without me getting cold, when I remember something I saw my first night here. Leaning over I flip on the heated mattress pad and it quickly starts warming up.

"Can you feel that?" I ask and he nods. "My first night here, I was so cold. I think it was from being without heat for so long, and I was looking in the closet for an extra blanket when I found this. I quickly put it on and it warmed me up so I could fall asleep."

His eyes are sparkling when I grab his hand that's sitting on the bed between us. The heat is already starting to warm his skin. Using his hand, I pull him over to me and lay my head on his chest. He sighs as his arms come around me.

"Is this okay?" I ask suddenly worried.

"This is perfect." He tells me and kisses the top of my head. "I've never done this before."

The surge of joy I get at his confession surprises me, but I let it go.

"Me neither." I tell him quietly. "Charles wasn't a big fan of cuddling."

His arms tighten around me a little bit before he kisses my forehead again.

"Charles is the most foolish man to ever walk this earth." He growls.

I just smile and nod in agreement.

We lay enjoying the quiet and the feel of each other for a little while. I can't stop my fingers from tracing his muscles through his t shirt and he can't seem to stop his fingers from drawing mindless shapes on the bare skin of my arm.

"Carlisle?" I whisper into the darkness.

"Hmm?" he replies absentmindedly, his fingers never halting in their path.

"Will you be here when I wake in the morning, or do you have to sleep in a coffin or something?"

The bark of laughter he lets loose startles me and I jump from his chest, but he softly pulls me back down. He pulls the band out of my hair and starts coming his fingers through the long strands.

"I don't sleep, angel. Ever. If you want me to be here in the morning, I won't move a single muscle until you wake."

"Well you don't need to be that drastic, but I would like to wake up with you again."

I tell him and look up in time to see his smile. He kisses my nose softly.

"Your wish is my command."

I snort at his cheesy line and his chest rumbles in my ear as he chuckles with me.

"So you don't sleep in coffins…do you burn in the sun?"

"No we don't, but we do appear different in sunlight. I'll have to show you sometime."

"What about wooden stakes?"

"They would probably rip my shirt and maybe tickle."

"Holy water?"

"Gets me wet."

"Garlic?"

"Tastes and smells revolting, as does most human food."

"Oh my gosh! That's why you never want to eat with me."

He winces under me.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I did try to eat as much as I could. The more I eat, the longer I have to spend later…bringing it back up."

"Carlisle!" I'm horrified. "You shouldn't have eaten if you didn't like it and especially if you had to throw it up later. That's horrible."

"I didn't want to hurt your feelings and now that you know, I won't have to eat human food for a long time…hopefully."

I just shake my head.

"Go to sleep angel. We can discuss all of the joys of being a vampire tomorrow."

"Goodnight Carlisle." I whisper to him and put my arm around his waist to hold him closer while I nuzzle my nose into his chest.

I'm falling asleep before he can reply, but I swear I hear him say, "Goodnight my love."