Chapter 1 - Don't pretend, bitch!

When I woke up next, I hoped to be in my own bed again. Even the lecture hall would have brought tears of joy to my eyes. What a weird dream and so random at that! The last time I read Twilight was, I needed to think for a second, maybe eight, nine years ago? That seemed right, so far. When I was younger, I loved it, loved the characters and the plot. Poor Bella, the damsel in distress, in need of help all the time. The tragic hero Edward, running to her aid. Everybody doting on Bella, who is perfect and can't do wrong.

Was Edward a pedophile? The age difference was considerable after all. Just a thought.

My fourteen-year-old self ate that shit up. And when they were made into movies a few years later, I would lie if I said that I hadn't watched them all. Of course I did, everybody did. I wonder why I dreamed about it now of all things. So weird. I strongly hoped this was not the afterlife because if that was what awaited me, I may have to reconsider other options.

I turned onto my side and adjusted to a more comfortable position. My eyes were still closed. My room smelled weird, a little like hand sanitizer. I wrinkled my nose. This pillow was not comfortable.

"Miss Mallory? I can see that you are awake. Could you open your eyes for me please," a pleasant voice said. What was up with these nice voices whenever I woke up?

Oh no, oh no, somehow, I had the feeling that I was in some deep shit. Something was telling me that this was not an ordinary dream, which would explain the nice-sounding man in my room, nor was the man the main actor of that dream- I obeyed and opened my eyes just to look at the most perfect human being.

Dr. Cullen could have jumped straight out of a Michelangelo painting. Blond satin hair, porcelain skin, and a smile with which he could sell you anything, even a vacuum cleaner or a washing machine. Perhaps even a warranty, who knows? He smiled at me, and my heart started pounding in response. Actually, I wouldn't mind if this was an erotic dream.

Technically, this was my coma dream, shouldn't I be able to control it? That is a theory I should test, later.

So awkward, I had never been to a hospital in my old life but now I was lying on an ER bed. I didn't know what to do or what patients normally did. Needless to say, I tried to look like a patient would like in its natural habitat, the hospital. All the episodes of Grey's Anatomy couldn't have been for nothing.

"Don't worry, Lauren, can I call you that?" I nodded, but kept my mouth shut. Ah, so we were on a first-name basis now? Good to know, I will proceed to call him Carlisle. Or maybe not, considering I can't remember him and all that.

Should I avoid eye contact?

Dr. Cullen's eyes were seizing me, dissecting me, and looking for something I couldn't quite pinpoint. He was staring into my very soul so intensely that the only word worthy of describing this situation was awkward. I sat up to make it less embarrassing and couldn't meet his eyes. I was afraid I would turn beet-red. He came closer and sat down on one of those three-legged-rolling chairs. He smiled and I felt like I should have been blinded by it.

"I know it can be disorienting, but I am just going to test your pupil reflexes now," he said and proceeded to shine his little flashlight into my eyes.

"Follow the light the best you can," he ordered gently and smiled again. For a second, I contemplated if I should pretend that I couldn't but discarded it at the same moment. That just meant more time in the hospital. Somehow, I had the feeling that he could just tell if someone was pretending. So, I followed his instructions like the good little patient I am.

"Can you tell me the exact date of today?" He asked me and put his flashlight away.

I panicked for a second, I had no idea. What year did Twilight even take place?

"Maybe the 26 October 2008?" I said uncertainly and stated a lower number for the year on purpose.

In my real life, it was 2019 but I knew that Twilight had been in the early 2000s. Perhaps I should have said a lower number. Dr. Cullen's face stayed straight. Shit, I should try with more confidence on the next question. Fake it till you make it; does that also work with tests concerning head injuries?

"Hm, okay. Who is the current president of the United States?" That was easy, if I stayed with my alibi, the answer must be George W. Bush. I said so and somehow Dr. Cullen's facial features eased up. He nodded.

"Last two questions and then we are done here. What is your full name? What is the last thing you remember?"

Difficult, what do I say? All I knew was that I was in Lauren's body now. I didn't even know her last name. Choking, yes but before that? I think I will choose the secret weapon every woman possesses. Crying, it rendered men helpless. And I was not afraid to use it.

"I was choking, but I don't know on what, and then everything went black!" My voice started to fade, my hands shook, "And before that, I just don't know", I choked on my own voice, my face grew hot, my eyes itched "How do I not know who I am? This girl, she called me Lauren, but am I really Lauren? If I cannot remember her, did she ever exist?"

I just realized that I may have a tendency to be melodramatic. Now, the tears were spilling over my cheeks. Hot and salty, they perfectly accompanied my charade. I didn't want to admit to myself that the tears were real to some degree, but for a different reason.

Dr. Cullen's expression changed from gentle compassion to he was about to panic. I guess vampires don't cry then, I can't remember. It was almost comical how he was wringing his hands, then bringing them up to pat my shoulder. This just seemed to make it worse because now I was bawling my eyes out even harder. For good measure, I brought my hands up to bury my face into it.

"It is alright, now, don't cry. I called your parents. Your mom will be here soon to pick you up. Sh, sh, it is going to be alright," he tried to calm me down while patting my shoulder. Poor guy, he probably didn't have much experience with crying women. Well, vampires couldn't cry so that made sense.

"I am a failure; I can't even remember how old I am. How am I supposed to succeed in life?" I continued while unfortunately, a snort was starting to run down my nose. This was fun!

"No, don't say something like that Lauren. It will come back sooner or later. Your scans are all good so this should just be a short-term memory loss" he tried to comfort me. His cold hand on my shoulder did give me some kind of comfort, I have to admit. He is not half-bad at this.

"Look, there is your mom. Mrs. Mallory!" He said and sounded a bit relieved. He patted my arm one last time and then he was gone. It was a smart move; I should have done the same thing. Knowing what would come next, it was probably a safe thing to do.

"Lauren, Lauren? Lauren!" A shrill voice was echoing through the ER.

In horror, I looked up. The woman coming towards me looked, well, not like what I expected? She had dark brown hair up in a bun, wore a suit, and had a designer handbag dangling on her left arm. Her lips have obviously been mended with and on her forehead was not one wrinkle. She looked polished, like an old car the owner tried to sell, hiding all the damage behind new parts.

Was this my mom? I mean, Lauren's mom? Before I could throw myself off the bed and into safety, the woman had encircled me with her arms, and my head was pressed against her boobs, they were rock hard. My arms were flailing.

"Oh Lauren, what have you done? What have you gotten yourself into this time? Chewing on a piece of gum, seriously? How pathetic, haven't I told you at least a hundred times that ladies do not, under no circumstances, chew on these artificial chemicals? It will just press the sugar more into your teeth and you will get cavities! You disappoint me. And you know that I have an important meeting today, you know how important this is for me. Did you really have to choose this day for your little shenanigans? Is it because you don't get a lot of attention, is it? Lauren, we have talked about this, the world doesn't always revolve around you. Now I will miss my meeting, thank you, Lauren, really," she said in one breath, or at least that is what it felt like.

"Uhm…" was the most intelligent thing coming out of my mouth first. What the actual fuck? Lauren's mom was a bitch! Lauren could have died, and this woman only had her meeting on her mind? I gaped at her. Dr. Cullen finally came to my rescue.

"Mrs. Mallory, please, no reason to worry. It appears that your daughter has temporary amnesia caused by the fall she took due to the choking. It should clear up in the next few weeks and I suggest that she takes the rest of the week off, and maybe even the week after that. After you check her out of the hospital, you can take her home. I am sure she has learned her lesson and won't chew gum any time soon," he said and smiled disarmingly at my "mom". The woman sighed but nodded.

Could I learn that kind of power? His smile should be illegal, seriously. I could even see the nurses around us blush.

"Yes, I certainly hope so. Well, Lauren, let's go" she said and already turned around. I sent Dr. Cullen, this traitor, a glare. He was abandoning me, leaving me behind, giving me over to the enemy. He just chuckled. How dare he.

"Take it easy Lauren, will you?" He winked and walked away. What an ass. I know he has good hearing, maybe I should say something just to fuck with him? Sweet revenge. Hm, let me think.

"Tsk, I don't know why all these nurses are lusting over him, it's not like he is McDreamy or something," I murmured under my breath and smirked. I felt like an evil mastermind even though it was probably really silly. And I was totally lying, Dr. Cullen was a sight to be seen. But all that mattered was that he was listening. He didn't know that I knew that he knew, so him dropping something in the back shouldn't be suspicious, right? We are all human after all, or not.

"Lauren! Where are you? Get your ass over here," my "mom" yelled through the whole room with her hands at her hips, her foot tapping impatiently on the nylon floors.

I am sure I was not the only one pitying myself.

"Coming mom."

Lauren's bedroom was, well how to say it? To put it kindly, it fits with everything else about her. It looked exactly like how a bedroom belonging to a Lauren would look. White fuzzy carpets, mirrors everywhere, pink bed covers, a big walk-in closet, and no book in sight- I ignored the good as new schoolbooks on the small white desk in the corner.

Currently, I was laying in Lauren's pink sheets and sighed blissfully. I had some hot tea next to me, a sliced apple, and a hot water bottle in my bed. Not because my "mom" cared but because I raided the kitchen to get more familiar with it. Lauren's mom didn't really care. She dropped me off at "home" and then drove off again. To work, because work was more important than family, I mean, somebody has to finance this big ass house somehow, am I right? Someone had to pay for the chandelier in the entrance hall and the painted family portrait in the living room.

Apparently, I was also the proud owner of a rat now. The rat's name is Banana and was a chihuahua. When I first stepped into the house, the little doormat had growled and barked at me. I already loved the little chicken. Currently, it laid in its little bed in my room (just for info, the bed was pink and sparkly. Surprise surprise).

Having a little moment just for myself, I realized the situation I was in. Somehow, I woke up in the wrong universe. In the Twilight-Universe to be exact. But how, and why? When I wished for a hot sparkly Vampire to sweep me off my feet and out of my boring life, I had been 14! I thought wishes like those expired after a few years. Some god, higher being or whatever put me here must have had a bad day and wanted something to laugh at, obviously.

Mentally, I took a step back. Let's organize the facts. I had been in university in 2019 and choked on a piece of chewing gum while Lauren choked on a piece of chewing gum in the cafeteria. I blacked out and woke up as Lauren. But how is that possible, what year is it even? Judging from the horrible fashion style, 2000s. But I knew that maybe I can find a calendar somewhere. The most important question was, where in the storyline, was I? I saw the Cullens and Bella in the cafeteria so it must be still the first book or the beginning of the second one. I might find out soon enough, I am sure. Sooner than I wanted to.

The door busted open with a sudden noise. It hit the wall and rebounded from it. Banana jumped 5 meters into the air, so did I. Banana barked, and I squealed. We have so much in common.

"Jesus Christ, who are you?" I said, taken aback. I was under the impression that I was alone at home, but I had seen another girl in that family portrait, this must be my sister.

"What the fuck Lauren, don't pretend with me, I see through your little spiel for attention. You are so pathetic. I heard about your little performance at school, choking on chewing gum, really? And now you have lost your memories, ah poor Lauren. My heart goes out to you. I hate you, you know? You are so attention whoring!" The girl screamed at me.

I didn't know her or recognized her. I think she is my sister. I just looked at her. She was small, maybe 13 or 14 years old, had brown hair, and looked rather unremarkable.

"Uhm, I am sorry, I guess? I don't remember you, but I am sorry?" I said because I didn't know how to react. This took the wind out of the girl, apparently, she didn't expect this from me. "I promise I will be better to you. I am sorry for my challenged behaviour before. I was young and dumb, but now I am a changed woman", I exclaimed and raised my fist into the air. I am a changed woman, literally.

"What are you planning?" The girl asked with a shaky voice. "What are you planning now? Tell me, is it to mock me? Is it to make fun of me? You are such a bitch Lauren, you know," she continued and backed out of my room, closing the door behind her. That seemed about right.

What is wrong with that poor girl, has she been traumatized?