Chapter 2 - Pizza, bitch!

When I first looked into a mirror, I wanted to faint. Suddenly, I had the urgent desire to sink into the floor, getting swallowed by its surface. I wanted to cry. Why can't I just have my old body back? Is that really so hard, was it really an absurd wish to have? I don't get why it had to be me who had to die and wake up in a fictional universe.

Long blond silky hair framed a delicate looking face with a set of blue eyes. Squinting those eyes, I could make out impurities all over, and judging by all the make-up laying around, that was not for no reason. As Vivian, I had never worn make-up, except for lipstick and a little mascara now and then. My skin had been good, not perfect, but good.

Throwing another glance at all the make-up utilities, sponges, brushes, and little glass flacons, I decided it was too much trouble to keep up and to just not bother with it. Maybe all the pimples would clear up too. Also, I am lazy. And when you are lazy, it is hard to follow social norms or care about looking acceptable or dare I say it, pretty.

Lauren's mouth was plump, almost as plump as so many girls sought, whereas my lips before had been on the thinner side. I bared my teeth. They were just perfect, straight, and all pearl white. I wonder how long that will last if I continue my coffee and tea habit. Had she used whitening stripes? This will end here and now.

The first thing I did was get rid of the pink claws. I let the nails soak in nail polish remover and peeled them off after 20 min or so. Lauren's nails looked horrendous. They were destroyed, brittle, and a little yellow. I swore to myself to never put anything on them again. Not on my watch.

Next, I showered and scrubbed every inch of Lauren's body. The most disturbing thing was the lack of hair, the lack of hair everywhere. Even on the arms, why would she even shave her arms? She looked like a naked mole-rat. Also, on a side note, her shampoo smelled like vanilla, and I hated vanilla. I needed to buy a new one.

The hot shower had filled the bathroom with a white mist, covering the mirror and the windows. I wiped over the cool surface and revealed my face, just to promptly see panda eyes and a lot of make-up running down. Wow, that was actually a lot of mascara, I was kind of impressed, she must have really caked it on there. I looked around for some make-up wipes and finally found them under the sink, where I also found some pads and tampons. Good to know, I will store this information for later. I shuddered thinking about Lauren's future periods, because they would come, and I was unsure what was awaiting me or if I was ready.

In the end, I came to the conclusion that Lauren was a doll. And as simple as that, Lauren's doll days will end here and now. I will not put up with it, I refuse and not even Lauren's workaholic mom could convince me otherwise. Lady my ass.

Once I was done in the bathroom, I went back into Lauren's room. I wore Lauren's soft and cuddly white plush bathrobe. I really needed to get something like this for home, it felt so heavenly on my skin. I mean, Lauren's skin. The metal door handle felt cold under my hot fingers as I pushed it down. As the door swung open, I heard a low growling. Weird, were there animals here?

As I stepped into the room, the mysterious growling developed into a high-pitched bark. It sounded very aggressive. In front of me was the rat, looking at me with its demon eyes. Oh, I forgot that detail.

"Shh, calm down Banana. It's just me, Lauren!" I said, trying to calm the sausage down. Banana was still barking, teeth still bared. Was she missing some teeth? With how aggressive Banana was I wouldn't be surprised if she has bitten a chair or two. Or a child, or two.

"I will give you lots of treats if you let me through?" Bribery usually works on dogs, doesn't it? I hoped so. I saw Banana perk up at the word treat. Maybe I should get some dog treats, throw them out of my room, quickly run in, and shut the door behind me.

The weekend had passed as uneventful as it can get in the Twilight-Universe. As I was neither a vampire, nor a werewolf, or even part of the main characters, naturally nothing had happened. I was glad for that fact; I wasn't sure how much more I could handle after Alice and Dr. Cullen.

I had been ready to relax for some more days, like Dr. Cullen had told me to, but not with Lauren's mom. For her mom, laziness came right after dowdiness, which came right after chewing gum and we all know that should be punishable by death. Needless to say, I had been in dismay the next morning, a fucking Monday, when Lauren's mom came badgering into my room.

She ripped the warm blanket from my cold body, and I nearly froze to death. Was this how vampires felt all the time?

"Get up you lazy potato," she said lovingly, or actually, she screamed. What a caring mother she was. I could tell she held a deep love for her daughter.

I groaned and rolled onto my side, trying to preserve as much body heat as possible. This should be considered torture. No wonder sleep deprivation was commonly used. And waterboarding, I hoped Lauren's mother wouldn't drag me to the bathtub next. "But why mom, Dr. Cullen said on Friday that I need to rest," I whined.

"I know what he said but I am your mother. I know what is best for you." With that, the argument was over, and it was clear what was going to happen next.

The cup of coffee I drank that morning did little to help with my looming headache. When Lauren's mom wasn't looking, I took some pain medication I had gotten from the hospital and put the rest into my school bag. This one was not pink, but purple, what a miracle, not saying I liked the purple much better.

This is how I ended up in front of the school building, abandoned. I had a feeling that would happen more often now. The betrayal ran deep, first Dr. Cullen, then my own mother. Well, Lauren's mom technically, but I was vacationing in her body, did that make her mom my mom as well? I confused myself, nice. I nearly had a car accident driving here, Lauren's car was so weird to drive.

"Oh, hey Lauren, how are you feeling? I hadn't expected you back so soon," someone said from beside me.

I flinched and swirled around to look at Lauren's brown-haired friend, Jennifer, or something like that. I must have been so distracted that I hadn't noticed her sneaking up. My eyes wandered from her concerned eyes to the books in her arms. Only now I realized that I had forgotten to pack any books. I forced a smile to my face, I really didn't feel like smiling, my head was still pounding mercilessly against my skull. What did Lauren do before I showed up in her body? Headbang against the cafeteria benches?

"Me neither," I said and laughed at this fake little giggle. "But you know, I cannot hide forever in my room." I squinted my eyes in unison with my fake smile. It was very effective.

When the overly intrusive girl took a good look at me, she gasped.

"What the hell happened to you?" She asked, her eyes wide open in surprise. "You look like shit and are those pimples? Where is your make-up?" she exclaimed while intensely glaring at me. I almost had the feeling that there was something wrong with me.

"And what are you wearing? I can barely recognize you anymore," she sighed and pressed her lips together.

"What's wrong with it?" I asked her, a little offended. I couldn't possibly look that tired. I looked down at myself and grimaced. Admittedly, I did not wear the most stylish outfit, in my standards anyways.

"You don't look like you, duh. Don't worry, I always have my emergency make-up kit with me. We will get you pretty in no time, you will see," she said happily and smiled as if she just did me a service. Does that mean I am not pretty? I should start crying.

I wiped a stray strand of hair out of my eyes and forced a thin-lipped smile on my face. It must look terrifying and not at all genuine.

"Why, thanks Jennifer," I said.

Jennifer linked her arm with mine and gently led me toward the school building. Shit, now I had to do school all over again, how troublesome. I thought I had left that behind me, university was exhausting enough.

"Anything for my girl. Let me tell you what happened when you fainted. It was so dramatic!" She said and started talking and talking and it seemed to never stop. The words just poured out of her, and it was impossible to get a word in.

"Remind me, what was your name?" I disturbed her wild story rudely. She was in the middle of describing how two, apparently super hot with nice firm butts, paramedics wheeled my unconscious, but still gorgeous, body and apparently, I had also totally not drooled, out of the cafeteria while everybody watched in awe. And Alice Cullen had -totally- saved my life. So scary.

I had broken Jennifer's flow and she stared at me for a second, mouth agape.

"Oh no, you lost your memory? Is that why you called me Jennifer?" Her voice shrieked through the halls and every student turned their head, suddenly paying attention to our conversation. I swear, I would have heard a needle fall. Or perhaps, a chewing gum, if I dare say so.

"Yes, well. Dr. Cullen said they should return within the next few weeks," I replied as quietly as I could.

I'd better not tell her that they would never return as I am not, in fact, Lauren but some random ass girl from another universe. I had a feeling that wouldn't go over so well for me.

"My name is Jessica. Oh, and that over there is Eric, and there is Mike. Hi Mike," she giggled.

Oh god, what have I done?

"Look, there is Tyler, you have a crush on him."

In that very moment, Tyler turned around and gave what I could only describe as "the look". The look meaning: I will devour you given the chance. Oh god, what did Lauren do to that poor guy. Definitely someone I would try to avoid. Tyler was already deferring from his path.

"Let's go Jenny," I said in a hushed tone, grabbing her arm tight. The girl was oblivious to my attempts to usher her along.

"-but," I didn't let her finish. Tyler was already getting too close. I wondered if he had a thing for me. Or if Lauren, that naughty bitch, had fucked him. Probably both.

"Go, go, go!"

"Is it because of the make-up? Oh no, is it because of what I said? Are you ashamed? I swear, I didn't mean it like that. You don't look… that bad. We will fix you in a sec."

"Jessy, shut up."

The smell of delicious, melted cheese rose into my nose, saliva gathered in my mouth, and I was ready to bite into the magical food known to the simple man as pizza. It dangled in front of my face, and I looked at the pretty colouring of the yellow and orangish cheese, the red tomato sauce visible in some places.

I really earned this deliciousness after enduring the morning classes. I swore, if one more person stared at me for 5 minutes from afar, gently shuffled closer, and then proceeded to ask me whether I really choked on chewing gum and then lost my memory, that person would burn.

The pizza got closer and closer to my mouth and my tongue darted out, I could already almost taste it. Soon, I will chew on the first bite, and many will follow. The tip of the pizza was past my lips, the flour on the bottom gently caressing my bottom lip, the cheesy top teasing the upper.

"Lauren, is this pizza?" Jessica, as I learned earlier, squeaked into my ear. My tormentor. My arm holding the pizza sank down again. So close.

"Good observational skills, Jessica. Yes, this is a dish called pizza, and it is really delicious, thank you," I said and rolled my eyes. Then, I fixated on my pizza again, my arm rose once more, and I could smell the cheese and the fresh crust again.

"But Lauren," Jessica started. My arm sank down again.

"What Jessica? Are you jealous or something?" I asked, annoyed. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes yet another time; we were supposed to be friends after all.

"Do you even know how many calories are in that?" She said louder again, almost shrieking. "The last time you had a slice of pizza, you said you gained three pounds! I haven't even as much as smelled it after you told me."

Oh, poor, poor baby soul. What has Lauren done?

"I changed my mind; you cannot gain three pounds after a single slice of pizza. Now shut up and let me enjoy this, please," I begged her, grimacing. I just wanted to bite into the damn pizza, preferably now.

Jessica launched at me, throwing her body over the cafeteria table. My food was saved only by my fast reaction as I jerked backward and almost fell out of my chair. The pizza rested safely in my hands, and I frowned at Jessica, who still laid on the table.

"Are you crazy?" I asked her, anger swinging in my voice, and I scooted back even more.

"I just want to save you," she said and had the decency to sound even a little apologetic. Nevertheless, she was reaching for my pizza again. I got up, the chair falling onto the ground with a loud noise. People turned their heads, but I was ignoring them.

"Why would you want to save me? It is just pizza, you know. Not fucking uranium," I countered. Why was everybody here crazy?

"First, I am just looking out for your bikini figure," she listed confidently, "second, aren't you gluten and lactose intolerant or something?" Jessica asked, but this time her voice was getting quieter and quieter in the end as if she was too afraid to say it.

I stopped dead in my tracks. Bitch what?

"I am what? I mean, yes, I guess I was, but the doctor said that I should try to incorporate it more into my diet again. You know, to test if the intolerance got better," I said thinking on top of my head.

Lauren this little bitch, I must correct myself, this basic white bitch. I was 99 percent sure that she made it up, but I will only know for sure after I ate this gluten and lactose bomb. Hopefully, it won't bomb the toilet later. Then, I bit into the pizza.

"Oh, that is why you went to the doctors a few weeks ago," Jessica said, and I nodded. "You told me about that, I thought it was about another pregnancy scare," Jessica said in her loud squeaky voice, and I was sure most of the cafeteria heard it.

I choked on my pizza and started coughing. If I was going to die again because of this bitch Jessica, I was going to come back from the dead and kill her.