Chapter 4 - Let's fuck, bitch!

A dark and cold house greeted me. I sighed, I really missed home, I missed my real mom's food. Lauren's mom had been working all day all week and her dad? I didn't know. I didn't think he is in the picture. It didn't surprise me that much, honestly. Lauren's mom seemed demanding.

The door fell shut behind me as I stepped into the house. Something squished underneath my shoe. Slowly, afraid as to what it could be, I saw that Banana had left me a present. A smelly present.

"Banana, explain to me, what is this?" I asked and looked at the dog that had come to see who had returned home. Banana just watched me, silently like a psychopath, while her tail was wagging, and her tongue sticking out.

"Why did you shit on the floor, please explain yourself," I insisted not minding that I must have looked insane to anyone watching. I wasn't angry with her, not really. Rather, the feeling of defeat settled in my chest and weighted down on my shoulders. School had cost me all the energy I had left in me.

Banana blinked, tail still wagging. She was probably saying "don't you like my present?"

"No, I don't like your present. Couldn't you have done it outside? Now I have to clean up," I complained to the dog.

Sighing, I took off my shoes to not further spread the present around the house and went to the kitchen. Taking some paper towels, I started to get rid of all the evidence. For such a little dog, she took a really huge shit. Was she not potty-trained? Then why would she, it dawned on me. If no one was ever home, who was supposed to let the sausage outside? Poor Banana most likely didn't have a choice but to shit on the floor. And I had been mean to her.

"Oh Banana, I am so sorry, come here, let me cuddle you," I said and ran after her. What did Banana do? Tail between her legs, she ran away growling. I guess that meant no cuddles for her. Maybe it was just I who needed the cuddles.

Overwhelmed with a sudden bound of sadness, I let Banana out into the garden where she proceeded to pee profusely. Tomorrow, I swore to myself, tomorrow I would go on a walk with her.

The pink room upstairs has become dull and made me feel even more miserable. So I decided to inspect the house while nobody was home. I began to wonder if someone was ever home, it surely didn't seem like it.

The living room, if it could be called that, was dark. Long heavy curtains hung before the windows and there was a fireplace smack in the middle of it. Above it hung a family portrait. It looked like out of a bad horror movie where there wasn't enough budget left for the props.

I chuckled, next thing I knew there would be an axe-murderer in the house. Wouldn't that be funny? Lauren was that kind of character that would call out "Is somebody there?" and then expect the murderer to answer, maybe even make a sandwich for her. I, myself, not to brag or anything, have developed a strategy to survive any mass-murder. Just in case. It involved a lot of running and absolutely no tripping.

On the painting were a father, a mother and two daughters. One of the daughters was Lauren, but perhaps a little younger, the other sister was the girl I met a few days ago. On her shoulders rested the hands of the mothers, which seemed to claw into her shoulders like a bird of prey. On Lauren's shoulders rested the hands of the father. My eyes wandered to his face, and I stopped. My eyebrows seemed to raise by themselves.

Had somebody drawn him a moustache and a monocle? It kind of ruined the whole this-family-is-superior-vibe but I had to admit, the moustache suited him.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you normally hanging with your friends after school?" someone asked behind me.

I swirled around and there was the girl again, Lauren's sister. She also looked older than in the painting, her eyes a little emptier and her cheeks a little hollower.

"Nice work, the moustache really suits him. Remind me again, what did he do to deserve this?" I asked, amused instead of answering her question. Her lips thinned and she looked away.

"That is so typical for you to say. Do you want to taunt me? Do you want to remind me that dear daddy impregnated the babysitter?" She said and then suddenly just screamed out the rest of the words. Tears started to stream over her face.

Shit, why did I say that? Why did I even ask? What did I do? How can I fix this?

"Sorry, I am sorry. Please stop crying, I really cannot remember. Hell, I cannot even remember your name," I tried to calm her down. Like always, I said the wrong thing.

"You cannot remember my name? Is this another round of the game "I wish you were never born so that dad wouldn't have cheated on mom?" is it that?" her spit was scattered over my face, she was screaming that much. Her hands were balled up in fists. Please God, I hope she won't punch me.

Well, perhaps I deserved it, Lauren did without question. Who said that to their little sister? That was not normal. Seriously.

"I will just go now," I said in an attempt to retreat and began walking backwards. Then, I just decided to turn and to run up the stairs. Nothing I could do or say would help her.

"Yes Lauren, run away like you always do," she screamed after me.

I did not leave the room for the rest of the day.

I didn't want to go to school the next day. The sadness hadn't really left me, it still held my mind in its firm grip, always lingering on the edge of my thoughts. I couldn't stop thinking about how all of this was wrong, wrong, wrong. That I should be dead, that Lauren should be dead also, choked on some gum. Laying in a grave, in a ditch, dead all but in memory.

Skipping breakfast, I drove to school late. The bed had just been so warm, a place where I could think and more accurately, not think at all and simply forget. Forget how miserable Lauren's life was. How miserable Lauren was.

At school, I had been able to avoid everyone, and hid myself during lunch in the library. I had finally found it, on a side note. Doubt and misery were knotting my stomach and I couldn't have eaten anything anyway. I didn't think anybody noticed anyways. The only thing odd that happened had been Jasper. I saw him briefly in the hallways and when he looked at me, it was as if someone had smacked him against a wall. I wouldn't have been surprised if he had started walking backwards, moonwalking out of the hallway.

Jessica didn't bother me too much, neither did one of the others. Except for Tyler and I wished I could burn this memory out of my brain.

After class, I had been on my way to the library, minding my own business and not suspecting anything. I have been feeling down and just wanted to hide and eat my lunch in peace. Tyler ruined my perfectly planned plans of drowning in self-pity.

First, I thought the Cullens had found me out and now wanted to kill me, which was a totally reasonable thought as I was annoying Edward with Rick Rolls. Then I realized, it was something much worse. Tyler had grabbed my arm, it hurt, and dragged me into an abandoned closet. Alarm bells were blaring in my head, warning me a little too late.

"What the fuck Tyler, what do you want?" My voice was shrill, and the panic could be heard very clearly. I couldn't help it, I didn't get dragged into secluded closets every day.

"But babe, last week you liked the closet. You said it was mysterious and made you-"

"Tyler, I cannot remember you, much less last week." And I definitely didn't want to know, ew. Lauren is so dirty.

"Let me help you remember," Tyler's voice grew huskier, deeper and he pressed his body against mine. The shelf behind me dug painfully into my back. I could feel his hard erection pressing against my stomach. I am sure Tyler had imagined this would have another effect on me than it did.

"Tyler get off me, you cannot drag a girl into a closet and expect sexual favours. That's not how it works." I was more annoyed now than scared. I swear if he moves one more time my knee will make close acquaintance with his dick.

"Common, give me a chance, you like this thing I do with my tongue-"

"Tyler, I do not, let me repeat, do not want your tongue touching me anywhere. Okay? Now let me go."

"Babe, don't leave a man hanging," he whined.

Needless to say, I left him hanging. Ever since, I have been looking over my shoulder, afraid Tyler would pull me into more abandoned closets.

A dark and cold house greeted me. It has been like this every day this week. So depressing, I pitied Lauren a little. Her mom was probably working, the dad was fucking the babysitter, and her sister? Probably still at school or something. Sometimes I wondered if Lauren had been born a bitch or if her mom made her one.

The only one happy to meet me was Banana, her tail was wagging, and she licked the dirty rainwater from my pant legs. What a weird dog, hating and loving me simultaneously. Since it was one of her good days, I decided to treat her.

"Let's go on a walk, Banana, I know you want it," I said and bent over to pet her fur. My hand was only inches away, but she started growling again and retreated quickly. "I guess no cuddles for you then", I sighed and looked at the dog again. Tail wagging and tongue sticking out of its mouth.

It didn't take long to get ready. A quick shower, a secretly shedded tear, some jeans that looked good for hiking, Lauren's hiking shoes that looked like they have never been worn before, a top, a T-shirt, a pullover, and then finally a thick rain jacket. What can I say, I like layering? And I like warmth, they go hand in hand.

All I could find for Banana was a pink raincoat I reluctantly dressed her in. I was surprised she actually let me touch her. I gave her an ear-rub she seemed to enjoy. She slowly relaxed under my hand. Promptly, she threw herself onto the ground and I was allowed to, get this, rub her belly as well. I felt so honored.

How incredibly cute. Who knew that Banana could also behave so pleasantly? I started to scratch her more enthusiastically. Then, I stopped, and she got up. Banana looked up at me with her big alien eyes. Her tail was tucked between her hindlegs now.

"Don't look at me like this. Aren't dogs supposed to like walks?" I said accusingly. She licked her nose; I interpret this as a "fuck you".

"Bitch".

She tilted her head as if to say, "I am a female dog, what is your excuse?"

Now I even lost arguments against a dog. I really needed to step up my game.

Only dressed in the raincoat, the poor thing was already shivering. There was only one leash I could find, and it was bright pink. Why did everything have to be pink in this household? Was it some kind of obsession? If so, Lauren must have been part of it. What have I done to upset the gods? All questions I would like some answers to.

"Come here Banana, come here", I said in a sickly-sweet voice to lure the little sausage to me. I was a little afraid, but I was on a mission. We would go on that god damnit walk and not even Banana's teeth can hold me back. Even though she might be trying.

"We'll go on a special walk, just for you!" I tried to persuade the dog. And apparently, the word "walk" worked like a miracle. She came running towards me and I hooked her up to the leash. Mission accomplished. Take this, bitch.

She looked at me with her big alien eyes, full of hope. But what she didn't know, what she didn't forebode, was that the weather was total shit, and it was rainy and cold outside. I felt a pang of guilt, a little shame but I pulled myself together. Dogs should be walked, even if she will hate me afterward.

The cold wet air hit me like a wall. Instinctively, I pulled the raincoat a little tighter. Banana looked at me, it was a look of betrayal. Her little legs were shivering, but I was set. We were going on that goddamn walk.

The door fell shut behind me, sounding final. There was no way turning back and so I dragged the little dog behind me on the leash. On a whim, I led us towards the woods behind the house. There actually was a little trail. The ground was wet and littered with leaves. It was peaceful, I felt at rest for the first time in a while.

Banana seemed to enjoy it at last and I let my legs walk and my mind wander. How long has it been since I arrived in this world? Was it a week, two weeks, or more? I have lost any sense of time. But I knew this, I missed my old life terribly, I missed my family, I missed my friends. I would even do this stupid presentation if this meant I could go back.

Bella, the Cullens, they were worse than described in the books, awfully arrogant and snobbish. And Lauren was supposed to be the bitch? Well, I was looking forward to seeing Bella in her zombie-state, that meant the Cullens were finally gone. Okay, I admitted to myself, that was a bit much. Nobody deserved that. But I just couldn't take Edward's smug face anymore. Alice's attitude, Bella's resentment towards me written on her face. It hurt, it really did even though I knew why they did it or felt like this.

Why did I have to be Lauren? Couldn't I have taken over Angela's body or Bella's? At least somebody would have liked me. I wanted to cry again. The tears were already clouding my sight. The world around me morphed into different shades of green and brown.