AN: Hello! These are misc ficlets. If I hear enough desire for a longer version of these (and my creativity cooperates) I'll spin them into larger stories as time allows. Will be updated with a random cadence.
"Err, Hermione, have you by any chance been spending extra time with George and Ron?" Harry asked in a tone that aimed for casual, but ended up somewhere closer to 'timid.'
"No," the witch responded breezily, not looking up from her menu at Florean Fortesque's.
"Or near anyone who might have, I dunno, Imperiused or Confunded you?"
"No," she said more firmly, this time placing the menu on the table. "Harry James Potter, what is this about?"
He frowned slightly. "You haven't sent any requests to my department recently that would make me worried about you?" He finished softly.
To his surprise, Hermione laughed loudly.
"Oh, this is about my basilisk request? Honestly, Harry, did you read beyond the title at all?"
Harry tried not to squirm in his seat. She was right, he hadn't read beyond the title. But when the title was "Basilisk Breeding Request," really, what else did he need to know!
She sighed and pulled out a document from her now iconic beaded bag (Twilfit and Tattings now sold an "authorized" replica at an outrageous sum that Hermione allowed only because they agreed to send half the profits to a charity supporting elvish welfare).
"I'll walk you through it, but the general idea is that basilisks' gaze, when reflected, can petrify people in a complete stasis! No need for food or drink, and any injuries-most of us had some type of concussion from the fall after the paralysis-don't get worse until the restorative draught is administered. Do you see how revolutionary this could be for wizarding medicine?!"
"I must confess I'm more worried now than I was before. You're planning on not just breeding basilisks but using basilisks in a hospital," Harry chuckled. "But I get it, you could petrify injured wizards suffering from injuries they would die from that require lengthy surgeries-"
"Or from Dark curses we need time to research!" Hermione cut in, now in her element. "It could be transformational. Now, we just want to breed one for now to test some of this on…"
She flipped to page 7 of her report, which included a drawing of a basilisk with many annotations to the side.
Harry squinted.
"Hermione, is it wearing a little aviator hat… with goggles?"
"Of course! We want to make sure his gaze is always shielded so it petrifies, rather than kills. We also are fairly confident from studying Muggle snakes that removing its venom glands…"
Harry briefly wondered if he were trapped in some strange dream before she got to the part about the "Magical Mouth-Morsel Hypothesis" that would let them keep the snakes at a small size. With a jolt, he realized the would either be signing a piece of paper in the next few days that - his eyes were involuntarily drawn back to the drawing of the snake with the aviator hat - authorized Hermione to breed basilisks or disappointing his dearest, oldest friend by disallowing her-
"-Bitty Basilisk Buddies," Hermione finished.
"What?" Harry realized suddenly he'd tuned her out for a moment.
"I've been thinking we can call them Bitty Basilisk Buddies," she stated a bit slower. Suddenly, she sighed, "Harry, I know your, well actually both of our, experiences with basilisks haven't been the best, but this could really transform urgent curse treatment! Imagine you have your basilisk buddy in your belt-pouch in the field, and someone is cursed! He pops out, Petrifies the patient and you can safely transport him to St. Mungos before he bleeds out or succumbs to a terrible curse."
"You want… aurors to each have a Basilisk?" Harry repeated dumbly. He was sure his mouth was hanging open now.
"Err, yes, I think page 37 has the details of the S-9 division. But obviously we just need this one itty bitty permission first to start testing."
She was smiling at him with that utter confidence and hopefulness he could never refuse. With a barely audible " blasted bitty basilisk buddies" Harry signed the form she wandlessly nudged across the table.
*** oooo **** ooooo ***
"Pardon? I swear I heard you ask me to record a training video of "introductory basilisk training commands" which sounds like the ominous precursor to a Dark Lord, ouch, sorry or Lady's-honestly, Hermione, why are you prodding me into thinking about dark ladies as well as dark lords if you want me to help with your project?" Harry rubbed his arm, while he scowled at his friend, who looked unrepentant.
"Just a few sentences," she wheedled. "We need to train them to go into and out of their pouch and to petrify a chosen target. So it's really just a small set of commands and responses. We'd also love to be able to explain to them that most of the time their goggles won't let them Petrify at all, because we theorize that they're intelligent enough to understand that. But you're the only Parseltongue in all of Europe!"
Harry continued walking at her side for a while before responding. He knew he was going to say yes. Honestly, he was a bit curious at how hard non-Parseltongues would find learning the commands. Ron's ability to open the Chamber of Secrets before the Final Battle had proved it possible…
"Fine," he finally sighed before almost being knocked over as Hermione launched herself into him with a huge bear hug.
*** oooo **** ooooo ***
"And, as the Chief Auror, you are receiving our first Bitty Basilisk Buddy outside of St. Mungos! We estimate we've already saved 37 witches and wizards who would have otherwise perished before we could fully treated them," Hermione beamed as she handed Harry a small dragonhide pouch.
"You've also revived the previously sluggish Mandrake market," Luna reminded her. "With all that Restoration Draught St. Mungos now orders."
Hermione narrowed her eyes and made a series of frantic hand-gestures that apparently meant something to Luna, because she added sagely, "Which is a good thing, not a bad thing, even if prices spiked 900% there for a while. Mandrakes are critical habitat for the endangered Whippersnapper, you know."
"Thanks, I guess?" Harry asked. "Err, what's its name?"
"Her name," Hermione corrected. "And why don't you ask her?" She rummaged in her bag briefly. "Also, here is a month's worth of food. As I mentioned in the original proposal and our experiments have verified, feeding her these small nuggets and nothing larger will ensure she doesn't grow any larger - a truly, fascinating phenomenon magical creatures have developed to ensure they don't grow larger than their prey can sustain. No table scraps or illicit Puffskeins!"
"They really love Puffskeins," Luna nodded.
"And finally, you simply say "ufta" to change her lenses so she can petrify and, well, you recorded the training, so you know the commands for telling her to Petrify a patient," Hermione finished, as she handed Harry what looked like a Muggle lunchbox apparently containing the Basilisk's diet.
Harry looked down at the leather pouch in his hands and then back up at his two friends. "Right," he stammered.
"We'll leave you to it!" Hermione beamed. "Do you think we should write up our findings about the stunted Basilisk growth and how it really confirms the Magical Mouth-Morsel hypothesis?" Harry heard Hermione ask as the two witches left his office.
Harry carefully placed the pouch on his desk and opened it with his non-wand hand. Inside, as promised, was a 1 foot basilisk, complete with a tiny (dragonhide, if he recalled Hermione's blueprints) aviator cap and little goggles over its deadly eyes. He was loathe to admit it was actually pretty adorable.
"Hi, Little Basilisk," Harry hissed.
"Oh!" The tiny snake's head popped up, "An actual Sssnake Ssspeaker! The One-with-the-Earth-Ssssnakes-on-her-Head (Harry laughed when he realized the snake meant Hermione) has a terrible accent."
The little basilisk looked carefully around the office. "Thisssss is your den? Very cosssy. We are now partners to sssave the world?" She sounded hopeful, a tone Harry recognized from conversing with snakes looking for treats.
"Err, yess," Harry responded. He forgot that Hermione had had him record a short speech in Parseltongue about the importance of their work, how they'd be a team, saving lives… he'd been skeptical that the Basilisks would be interested in heroics when he'd done it.
"Exsssselent! I will help sssave the injured with you. And maybe, I can alssso help sssniff out dangerss! My sssssnout can detect Dark Magickssss. And ratsss."
Harry blinked. "Of coursse! Err, what'ss your name?"
"Medusssssa," she hissed happily. "The witch with the Long-long-snakes-on-her-head (Luna, Harry guessed) named me. Isss good name?"
"It's a great name," he demurred. "I'm Harry."
"Harry and hissss Medusssa! We ssshall be the besst crime-fighting duo thiss world hasss ever ssseen!"