Hello everyone!
Welcome to Back To The Past. This is a revamp of another version of this story that I did on Archive of Our Own and Nine . I never posted the original here so it will probably be entirely new to you. I am going to upload the chapters I already have up on the other sites (there are 29 at the moment) to catch up.
I don't like begging for reviews but I would love to hear your thoughts, especially if you've read the other version of this. I'll appreciate anything you've got to say, even if it's just to say you liked it or you hated it, if that's the case.
By the way, I should mention something about this chapter. I received a lot of reviews on the first version of this that were quite disturbed by this chapter. If you're disturbed by mentions of gore, blood etc and/or reading about a character you love, suffering in such a way, I will put a marker in the chapter where you should stop reading. I will put a brief description of the events in the end notes for people who would rather not read it. I know we watch a pretty gory show but there are some who are more sensitive than others.
Anyway, hope you like this story.
By the way, sorry if you tried to read this chapter already and it was in a weird code. I didn't even realize but I received a review from Bluebox86 letting me know. Thanks again for that.
Double btw: I had to reupload the story from scratch as there were so many formatting issues. I hope it's fixed now though.
The group had been stuck in the cave for hours. The growls and groans of walkers had faded into background noise at this point.
Daryl sat with his back against the cave wall. He watched the writhing dead bodies in silence. His fingers toyed with a piece of stone.
Carol sat to his left, sneaking glances at him. She probably thought he didn't notice. But he did. He noticed everything about her.
"I didn't mean for this to happen," she said, breaking the quiet.
Daryl sighed and turned to look at her.
"I know," was all he said. Because what else could he say?
He knew she hadn't meant for this to happen and he didn't blame her for it either. But that didn't mean he wasn't a little ticked off.
She'd told him that she'd try. That she would stop running off, half cocked, to try to take out Alpha alone. And she'd done exactly the opposite.
"This has gotta stop," Daryl told her, pushing the thoughts away.
Carol looked down. When she looked back up, there were tears brimming in her eyes.
"I know," she answered. She sucked in a breath. "It's just, every time I see her or think about her, this rage takes over me."
Daryl nodded.
"I get it," he assured her. "But it's not worth it. Not if it keeps putting us in danger."
Carol was silent as she watched him.
"We fight for our future. We don't fight for revenge," he finished, with a meaningful look.
Carol nodded and then turned her head away. Daryl sighed at her half hearted response.
He didn't know how to help her. He'd tried talking to her. Offered to let her tell him what she needed. He'd tried to assure her that Alpha would get what's coming to her. None of it had worked. She seemed content to shut him out and most of time she felt a million miles away.
Daryl knew what she was doing. She wanted him to stop caring about her. So she could go off and do what she felt she needed to without worrying that something would happen to him. Because she knew he would follow her. But Daryl wasn't going to let her push him away. He wouldn't give up on her. Not now, not ever.
Carol stood, startling him from his thoughts. He looked up at her, immediately worried.
"I've got an idea," she announced, loud enough for everyone else to hear.
Jerry, Aaron, Magna, Connie and Kelly were sitting scattered around the ledge. They all held expressions of exhaustion and defeat. They turned their heads in interest.
Aaron was the first to move, lifting himself up and walking over. After a beat, the rest followed. Daryl got to his feet, tossing the stone aside.
"If I can draw the walkers' attention," Carol started, "You could have a pretty good chance of making it out. There's bound to be an exit around here."
Daryl's stomach twisted as he listened to Carol explain her 'plan'.
"What do you mean by 'distraction'?" he interrogated, searching her face.
Carol looked down at her feet before meeting his gaze once more.
"It's my fault you're all in here. It should be me."
Daryl's chest became tight, like he wasn't getting enough oxygen.
"That's bullshit," he said, his words coming out harsher than he'd intended. His panic was getting the better of him. "We'll find another way."
Carol's eyes hardened. She glanced at the group before stepping closer to him.
"There is no other way. This way, at least you'll have a chance."
"Yeah, and what about you?" Daryl retorted.
For their part, nobody else in the group tried to comment on the situation. They watched the argument quietly, exchanging awkward looks. The exception, of course, was Kelly. She was signing rapidly, ensuring Connie could keep up with the conversation.
Carol sucked in a breath and shrugged in response to his question.
"I'll make it, or I won't."
Daryl bristled at her reply. It was exactly what he'd thought. This was a plan to sacrifice herself.
"The answer's no," he told her, gruffly.
The answer's hell fuckin' no, he amended in his head.
"We're gonna find another way," he reiterated, waiting for her to fight him on it.
Carol's nostril's flared but she nodded and stepped back.
Daryl frowned, unsure how he felt about her stepping down without a fight. It wasn't like her. But she seemed casual as she spoke again.
"Alright," she said with a nod, no argument in her voice. "We'll find something else."
Daryl scrutinized her, trying to read any insincerity. After a moment, he found that he could see none. Carol was a fantastic liar though. If there was something she didn't want him to know? He sure as hell wouldn't know it.
"Maybe we should check out the area some more. We could have missed something," Carol suggested.
Everyone looked to Daryl.
For some reason they deferred to him as leader. It was something he didn't think he'd ever get used to. He'd spent his life following and had been satisfied with that. But now, these days, he was finding himself in charge more often.
Daryl watched her again, trying to see behind her words. To see if there was a plan B forming in her strategic brain. Eventually, he nodded to the group, to do as Carol had suggested. With his approval, they all started moving around the small area, looking for signs of a method of escape.
Part of him wanted to join them but the other part didn't want to take his eyes off Carol. Everytime he looked away from her, something happened. She'd do something, putting either herself or others in danger.
Probably sensing his continued stare, Carol turned her head to look at him. She furrowed her brow.
"Are we doing this?" she asked.
He stared at her for a long moment.
"Yeah," he said, finally accepting that he wasn't going to find any clues to the mystery of her mind.
"I'll look here and you can check that ledge over there," Carol ordered.
She had allocated herself a spot close by. Perhaps she did that on purpose, knowing that he wouldn't accept her moving any further away.
Assuring himself that she wasn't going anywhere, he turned. He approached the ledge and glared down at the corpses before moving his eyes to search for something they could use.
As he suspected, there was nothing. Nothing but a drop down into the waiting hands and mouths below. As Daryl moved to check out another spot, he flinched. It had felt as if someone had shoved something in his back pocket. He whirled around, his hand dropping to his pants. Before he could even inspect his pocket, his attention was diverted by something more worrying.
Carol was not where she had been only moments ago.
Daryl's eyes searched the area, looking first in the direction of the rest of the group. They were still peering around, chatting amongst themselves. She was not with them. He turned the other way, eyes widening as he finally saw her.
Carol had, at some point, moved to the opposite end of the ledge. She was standing right on the edge of the rock there, looking out at the sea of walkers. She pulled her gun out of the back of her pants. Daryl had barely taken a step in her direction before she jumped. His heart stuttered, believing for a moment that she had dropped herself into the pit of walkers.
Once his sense returned to him, he hurried over. He looked down but couldn't see her. For a moment he started to believe she had already been swallowed up amongst the dead. But then he saw a flash of silver hair. Carol was alive. She was getting to her feet on a rock that jutted out of the cave floor. It was a small platform a couple of feet away from where she had jumped.
Daryl studied it before huffing in frustration. There was no way he'd be able to jump down there himself. Not without knocking Carol into the pit of walkers. He looked around and his eyes zeroed in on an outcrop below the ledge he was on. If he could lower himself onto that, he could reach out to her. It wouldn't be easy, but he was sure that if he tried, she would be able to reach his hand. Before he could make any move to put his plan in action, the sound of gunfire drew his eyes back in her direction.
Carol held her gun above her head, having fired off the shot. The sound reverberated in the cavern, drawing the attention of the walkers.
"Come on!" she shouted.
More and more walkers moved towards the sound. They packed in against the rock she stood on, growling and shoving against each other.
Daryl moved on shaking legs. He lowered himself down from the ledge, landing on his feet with a soft thud. He wobbled for a moment before regaining his balance. He turned back to look at Carol. She was looking past him, up to where the group must be. She waved her free hand towards something on the opposite wall of the cave. Daryl looked to where she was pointing.
There was an opening in the cave wall. Possibly an exit. The bunched up walkers had been pressed so tightly to the walls that they had missed it. Now with the walkers converging on Carol's position, it had freed up the space.
"Go!" she yelled to them.
She shot a walker in the head. It's body slumped, falling to be trampled under the rest of the dead. Another walker took it's position, arms reaching out to Carol.
Daryl could see the group now. Jerry and Aaron helped Magna, Connie and Kelly to lower themselves into the pit. As soon as they hit the ground, they moved with purpose towards the opening. Daryl looked back at Carol.
"Carol!" he called to her, finally finding his voice.
She turned to look at him, eyes widening. She took an unconcious step in his direction before stopping.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
The walkers surrounding Carol continued to grab at her, barely missing their target. She looked away from him enough to send a shot into one's head. The fallen walker was pushed out of the way for a new one to take its place.
"There's too many of 'em!" he said, calling out above the groaning of walkers. "You gotta come back!"
Carol's eyes watered as she looked at him. She glanced at the sea of walkers for a moment. When she looked back at him, her tears had spilled over. It was as if part of her didn't want to come back.
"Please," he begged her, holding his hand out. "Please come back."
Carol let out a sob. She moved back in his direction, taking careful steps.
Daryl moved himself as far forward as he could on the small ledge, still holding his hand out. He had missed it before but now he could see that there were more small rocks jutting out of the cave floor. It created a makeshift path for her.
As Carol moved, she shot at the walkers that got too close for comfort. When she ran out of ammo, she took to smashing the butt of the gun into their skulls. That method worked until the gun slipped from her hand, falling into the pit. Letting out a frustrated growl, Carol ripped her knife free from her belt. She used it to clear any walkers out of her way before kicking them off the rock. She glanced up at him now and then, as if making sure he was still there, ready to catch her.
"Come on," Daryl urged her. "You got this."
Carol hurried her pace. As she grew closer, she reached her free hand out to him. Daryl tried to grab it but she was still too far away.
"Just a bit further," he told her.
Carol stabbed another walker and jumped onto another rock. She leaned over with her hand out. Daryl's fingers closed around hers and he used his other hand to grip her wrist. He pulled her towards him, wrapping his arm around her waist. The contact of her body against his had an immediate calming effect and he sighed. He could hear her breathing coming out in pants.
"It's alright," he said softly. "Everything's alright. I got you."
He felt her nod against his shoulder.
But Daryl was wrong. It wasn't alright.
He heard a crack and in the next moment, Carol was slipping from his arms. A cry escaped her as she fell.
Daryl's eyes sought out the reason for the fall. A piece of the outcrop had broken away, crumbling under her feet. He scrambled to get a hold of her, managing to latch onto one of her hands. His heart was loud in his ears as he looked down at her.
Carol hung from his hand, her body dangling above the walkers. The ledge he stood on wasn't high enough to keep her completely out of harm's way. Her legs and part of her torso were half in the pit. The walkers grabbed at her eagerly and she swatted them away with her free hand. She looked up at him with wide, panicked eyes.
"Daryl," she gasped out. "I... I dropped my knife!"
Daryl reached his other hand out to her.
"Doesn't matter, just grab my other hand!" he told her.
Carol reached her other hand and he grabbed it. He pulled, trying to lift her up to him.
"Please don't let go," she whispered, fearfully.
Daryl shook his head at her.
"Never."
(Check out here and head to the end note for a summary if you don't want to read what comes next)
He renewed his efforts, trying to ignore the fact that her hands were slipping. The exertion from holding on had caused her to sweat, making her hands damp.
Carol cried out a moment later. Her face was scrunched up.
She was in pain.
For a moment, he thought he might have dislocated her shoulder. He was certainly tugging on her arm hard enough to manage such a thing. But then he saw it.
The walker with its teeth sunk into her leg.
She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to shake the walker off. It pulled away but only to tear a chunk of her flesh free. It gleamed red between its teeth. The blood dripped down its chin.
Daryl took in the scene with horror.
He wanted to reach for his knives, but if he let go of one of her hands, it would sink her further down among the walkers.
"Hold on!" he shouted, his eyes stinging with tears.
"It's too late, Daryl," she said brokenly.
Daryl shook his head. He could see the aftermath of the walker's bite. It gaped ugly on her thigh. Blood was pouring from the wound, staining her pants. He forced his eyes away from it.
"No, it aint too late!" he argued, despite knowing it to be true. He adjusted his grip on her hands.
Carol gritted her teeth, closing her eyes. Another walker had bitten into her, on her other leg. It ripped her flesh away, just as the other walker had. The blood only made more walkers move in, reaching for the wounds. Their hands dug into her flesh, trying to pull pieces away for themselves. She did her best to manouever herself out of their path but without her hands free, there wasn't much she could do.
"I'm sorry," she told him. She squeezed his hands and gave him a watery smile.
Daryl could already tell what she intended to do.
"Don't you let go!" he begged her.
She shook her head.
"I'm sorry," she said again before releasing her grip.
Daryl tried to hold onto her but she slipped free.
"No!" he cried as she fell. His hands reached out uselessly.
It was too late.
He watched her drop into the horde. She cried out as her body hit the rocks but she was quickly hidden from his view by the swarming walkers.
Daryl could hear her screams. They rang out in the cave and the pain and fear in her voice choked him. He stared blankly at the patch of walkers as they savaged her. Her screams had ebbed quickly. He hoped that meant she had passed out from bloodloss. That she wouldn't have to endure this.
No, he thought to himself. He couldn't let this go on. They couldn't have her!
Daryl readied himself to jump down. To fight them off and steal her body back.
"Daryl!" he heard from above.
He warred with himself before looking up.
Jerry and Aaron crouched at the ledge he had jumped down from. Both their faces carried expressions of sympathy. Daryl looked back to the feeding frenzy before turning back to them.
"I gotta get her back," he said desperately.
Jerry and Aaron looked at each other before looking back at him.
"Daryl... She... I'm sorry, but she's gone," Aaron said sadly.
"I can... I... can," Daryl stammered, not even sure himself of what he thought he could do.
"She's gone, man," Jerry repeated, his voice trembling.
Daryl shook his head.
Jerry sighed.
"We need to get out of here and we…" he glanced at Aaron before continuing. "We need you."
Daryl turned his attention to the group moving towards the cave opening. Magna, Connie and Kelly were taking out walkers that still ambled in the area. Even though most of the horde had been drawn away, there were still far too many near the opening.
Jerry was right. They needed help.
Daryl looked back to the feeding walkers. He felt bile rising in his throat as he watched. Their faces were bloody as they lifted their heads. He could see bits of flesh hanging from their mouths. Daryl grit his teeth and forced himself to look away. He offered his hand up to Jerry and Aaron and they pulled him back up onto the ledge.
He followed them down into the pit and they moved towards the rest of the group, taking out walkers in their path. With every step he took, Daryl had to force himself not to turn back.
She was gone, he thought blankly as he stabbed another walker. She was really gone.
Thanks for reading. Please let me know what you think.
For people who chose not to read:
Basically, Daryl tries to help Carol back onto the ledge. She gets bitten while Daryl is holding her and eventually she lets go of his hand and falls into the pit of walkers. Daryl has no choice but to leave her behind.
Thanks guys!