voider's HP odd ideas

Disclainer: I don't own Harry Potter.

This will be a series of one-shots. I keep having ideas from time to time... so I'm going to put them here. One day, if I have enough time, I might use one (or more) of them for a story.

There will be multiple genres... from tragedy to humor to horror; the only thing I don't do is angst.

Part one.

Multiple personality Harry.

Miles away from Great Britain's shores, on a small island, there is a Citadel; Azkaban, the most secure prison of the Wizarding world. But even the most secure prison has low security cells and high security cells. And in the most secure one, designed by the Department of Mysteries and the great Albus Dumbledore to imprison Dark Lords, a dirty figure was glowering at the two dementors that stand guard at his door. Once upon a time, the man was considered cute and handsome by many. Now, he looked like a wizened old man. Ten years of dementor constant companionship do that.

The man had, once upon a time, brilliant green eyes; now the brilliance was gone. Darkness and pain stood in its place. The man was Harry Potter.

Today was visiting day. And it was a special one, because it would be his last. But it was not his last day, because he would be freed, or because his visiting rights were revoked. It was certainly not because he would escape. It was because he would be executed. After ten years of hell on earth, Harry Potter would die.

And now, his so called friend would come and inform him about the manner of his death. The guards hinted about something special. He would have to wait to be informed.

The dementors departed. Someone was coming.

A commander in the auror corps stopped in front of his cell. "Harry."

"Weasley," growled Harry.

"Hey mate, call me Ron."

"I am not your mate, traitor."

"Come on, don't be like that. What was I supposed to do? You went dark. You killed people."

"I was just protecting myself."

"You were using the dark arts. What was I suppose to do?"

"You, Granger and my so called wife betrayed me."

"It wasn't like that..."

"You got your fast track as an auror. Granger works for the Department of Mysteries, and my whore of a wife stole my fortune."

"Don't talk like that about my sister."

"Why not? I see you don't contest the fact you and Granger were bribed by the ministry. Half of Hogwarts got in Ginny's pants. Your precious sister was dosing me with love potions."

"She only did it because she loved you."

Harry snorted at Ron's statement. "Yeah right, it wasn't me she loved. It was my money. I bet she's real happy now. After I die, she's going to inherit everything, since I don't have the right to make a new will. So what's it going to be? The dementor kiss?"

"Yeah, it's going to be the dementor kiss. After that, your body will be killed. It's going to be done at the ministry. A public execution."

"Ah, I see. It's time for elections. I can see the newspaper titles. The minister kills Dark Lord Potter. Let's get this over with."

Ron gave a signal, and ten aurors approached. Harry stood, exited his cell and was escorted out.

-x-x-x-

The years spend in Azkaban fractured Harry's mind.

After Dumbledore died, Harry started to prepare for his fight with Voldemort. He managed to trick Voldemort and killed him. He was proclaimed the savior of the Wizarding world. But there were still Death Eaters and they tried to kill him.

After Voldemort died, some of his memories and knowledge started to slip in Harry's mind. He was already well versed in the Dark Arts, but Voldemort's memories made him a master. And he used them to protect himself and innocents, from the remnants of the Death Eaters.

The ministry hated him, so they started a smear campaign against him. At first there were only petty accusations. But Dumbledore somehow managed to screw him from beyond the grave. He told the Order of the Phoenix to keep an eye on Harry because Dumbledore believed that the chance of Harry becoming a Dark Lord was very high. Somehow the ministry found out and they tried to arrest him. Over night, Harry became the next Dark Lord. Ron, Hermione and Ginny who were part of the Order, betrayed him.

That is how Harry James Potter, the boy-who-lived, savior of the Wizarding world, the next Dark Lord, was sentenced to life in prison.

'Stop woolgathering Harry,' said Snake in Harry's mind. 'We need to have a talk.'

One of the consequences of his stay in Azkaban was the fracturing of his mind. He had dozens of multiple personalities. After all, you can't have a intelligent conversation with the dementors.

'Okay,' responded Harry. 'Why do you think they decided to kill me now?'

'From what little we know, peace reigns over Britain. There is no new Dark Lord, except us,' answered Snake. 'Most likely, we were kept alive as insurance. They knew that the Harry Potter who entered Azkaban was innocent. If another Dark Lord rose, they could have used us to defeat him. But it appears that there is no Dark Lord, so they decided to use the death of Dark Lord Potter as political propaganda.'

'Bastards,' agreed Harry. 'Now that we are out of Azkaban, is there any way to escape?'

'No,' said Raven. 'Dumbledore and the unspeakables did a good job on our bracelets. We can't do wand magic. We can't do wandless magic. We can't transform in our animagus form. We can't ...'

'What can we do?' interrupted Killer.

'We can only use death magic to perform some forms of soul and blood magic.'

'Explain,' you miserable bird.

'In layman terms, we can kill ourselves, destroy everything around and do a big spell.'

'Revenge. You have a plan,' said Snake.

'Yes. In one of Voldemort's memories, I found an interesting ritual. Theoretically, there is a way to send your core, mind and memories twenty years in the past. I don't know if it really works. Since it requires a vast burst of power, it can only be powered by the death of the strongest wizards. But there is a catch.'

'What?'

'Our core is very big, but not big enough. Even our core combined with Dumbledore's and Voldemort's core would not be enough. That is why the amount of data that can be sent back is limited.'

'What does that mean?'

'It means that we can send our core, the Harry persona and a little bit of knowledge.'

'What if I don't go back?' asked Harry. 'My persona is the most complex. The others are far smaller and simpler. How many personas' can be sent if they take my place?'

'No,' it should be you that goes back,' said a voice. The others agreed.

'What use would I have for the younger me? Killer's protection, Raven's intelligence and Snake's cunning would be far more useful. We should do what is good for Harry-child.'

The voices pondered. 'Very well, we agree.'

'We could send Killer, Snake, me and another one' said Raven.

'It should be Joy,' decided Harry.

'Me? Why me?'

'Harry-child never learned how to let go and have fun. I have always regretted it. It will be your job to teach him.'

'What knowledge should we take back?' asked Raven. 'It can't be too much.'

'Then we should send something we wouldn't easily learn from books,' said Snake.

'What do you propose, Snake?'

'We should take the knowledge of metamorphic, animagus and some wandless abilities.'

'I agree,' said Harry. 'Any objections?'

The voices murmured their support for the plan.

-x-x-x-

Harry was brought in front of the Wizengamot. He ignored the outside world until he was offered the traditional last words.

Harry smiled cruelly at the hundreds of faces. "You are all sheep. You all used and betrayed me. I saved you from Voldemort and my repayment was Azkaban and the constant presence of dementors at my cell door. You kept me alive in that cell for ten years. You did not kill me until now because you thought another Dark Lord might rise. If that happened you would have used me again. You would have dangled freedom in exchange of me saving you again. But no Dark Lord arose. And you decided to finish me. Now, I will have my revenge on the Wizarding world, the ministry, my treacherous friends, and my whore of a wife."

Harry smiled with joy. "Revenge, one way or the other."

And Harry's body exploded in a flash of light, killing hundreds.

-x-x-x-

Author Notes: Review if you liked it.

Published: October 6 2008