Loosely based on the end of 4x05 and the promo for 4x06. Delena-centric.

I have loved writing this story so much and I hope you all enjoy reading it. I have several chapters written in advance and, provided there's interest, will post one a day until I run out. Please enjoy and take a second to let me know what you think - I love to hear from readers!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

XOXO

"I need you."

Three words with so many meanings, but that was all it took to have him speeding across town to her window. She was standing there, waiting for him, and when he appeared she pulled him to her, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding on.

"Elena," Damon breathed her name into her hair as he held her close, stroking her back with a tenderness that shouldn't exist in a person so prone to violence. "It's okay." He told her again and again, asking no questions as he enveloped her in his strong presence. "You're going to be okay."

"I'm losing it." She finally confessed against his neck. "I'm angry all the time, Damon. And sad and depressed and I can't… I can't do this. Especially not now. I've killed a man. Not a vampire or a werewolf or a Klaus wannabe. A man who was trying, I think, to help people by killing vampires because they're horrible, vicious beasts. And I killed him because I am one of those beasts and now…" Her voice cracked and he tightened his hold on her, threading his fingers through her hair as her tears fell on his shirt. "Now I'm hallucinating blood and I'm scared and I can't… Why did you let me kill him, Damon? Why did you tell me to do that?"

"Come on," He dodged her question, kissing her hair and easing her back from him. His eyes rested on hers as he reached a hand up and swiped her tears away with the pad of his thumb. "Sit with me."

Resting a hand on her back, he guided her over to the bed and eased her down before moving to the other side and sitting beside her. She watched as he settled in and held his arm out, inviting her to move closer. Craving contact, she slid across her bedspread and settled against his side, her legs drawn up so that she was small against the security of his body.

"Damon…" She started to question him again, but he held up a finger and pointed it at her.

"Ah-ah-ah. You asked me a question already. I have an answer."

He was trying to be light but she couldn't quite muster the smile he was looking for. But she reached for his free hand, drawing it onto her lap and enveloping it with her own as she settled her head on his shoulder. "Okay."

"I told you to kill him because… it let me control your first kill."

"What?" She jerked her head up, pulling away from him. "Control my first kill… why would you to…" She shook her head. "What kind of sick amusement…?"

"Can I finish?" He lifted one eyebrow at her, waiting for her to finish what she guessed he saw as her self-righteous outburst.

"Fine." She made a point of putting some distance between them on the bed though and quietly resented the fact that she instantly missed his touch.

"You're a vampire, Elena. And as much as you need your fantasy world that lets you believe you can do this the 'right' way and never kill or hurt anyone, reality is that you can't. Eventually, you would have killed either on accident or… on purpose."

"You don't know that." She insisted, clinging to fantasy even though she knew it was just that.

"I do." His eyes met hers sadly. "I know that, Elena. And I knew that when you killed the first time it would devastate you. I didn't want it to be some kid at your next frat party or one of your friends or someone you hated. Because I know how your mind works and you would never have been able to justify that to yourself."

"But Conner…?"

"Conner was a threat. He had your brother. He wanted to kill people you love, and he would have killed you given the chance. I knew that if he was your first kill it would be hard, but it would be something you could understand once the pain and the guilt faded." Reaching out, he ran his hand over her hair, sweeping it back behind her ear before skimming his fingers along her jaw. "You feel miserable now, but deep down you know that eventually it would have been you or him. Him or Stefan. Him or Jeremy. So your first kill was to protect people you love and that…is something even Elena Gilbert can eventually forgive herself for."

Tears fell down her cheeks and she crawled back over to the man who understood her so well. Settling the length of her body against his, she pressed her face into his shirt. Taking her silent understanding and apology, he wrapped his arms back around her and held tight.

"And… I knew you could do it." He smirked into her hair. "Somewhere along the way you turned into quite the warrior."

She managed a small smile and looked up at him. "I had you pinned today…"

"Mmhmm…" He rolled his eyes and nudged her leg with his. "Don't get too cocky though. It would have been all too easy to throw you off me. I just didn't want to."

Sitting up, she poked him in the chest. "No way. You do not get to say you could have beaten me if you wanted to after the fact. If you could have done it then you would have."

"Uh… no." He poked her shoulder mockingly. "No one in their right mind unseats you when you're straddling them on a bed. I was quite happy right where I was. You know… minus the stake."

Rolling her eyes, she settled back against him. "Opportunist."

"Duh."

There was a comfortable pause as he lightly ran his hand up and down her arm, his cheek against her hair. She almost forgot the trauma of the day until he spoke again.

"So… what kind of blood hallucinations are we talking about?"

"Oh…" She sighed and closed her eyes. "It was probably nothing."

"Probably…" He agreed, "But lets make sure, shall we? What happened?"

"I was sitting over there," She gestured towards her vanity, keeping her eyes closed. "I looked down and there were these drops of blood on my hand. And then I looked around and there was blood everywhere. It trailed into the bathroom where blood was splattered all over everything. Except the mirror."

"The mirror?"

"Yeah…" She looked up at him, finding him watching her with concern. "The word 'killer' was written on the mirror in blood."

He was up in an instant, striding toward her bathroom. Yanking the door open, he disappeared inside.

"Damon…" She called after him, reluctantly sliding off her bed. "Damon, it wasn't real. It was gone as soon as I blinked."

He appeared in the doorway, brow knit. "I don't like it."

"I didn't like it much either." She crossed her arms over her chest. "But it wasn't real. It was just… a weird guilt thing or something."

"When did this happen?" He moved toward her, tilting her face up and studying her as though the answer to the mystery would appear written across her forehead.

"Just a few minutes ago. I called you right away."

For some reason that seemed to ease his mind and he gave her a tight smile. "Good. If it happens again…"

"I'll call you." She assured him, wrapping her fingers around his wrist. "I promise."

"Okay." He nodded and pulled her close, hugging her body against his. This was a new habit for them, and one she wasn't sure she should like so much. But there was no time to worry about it now. Not when all she wanted to do was let him hold onto her until she felt like herself again.

He released her too soon but she bit back her protest.

"Listen," He dropped his hands from her and ran one over his inky black hair. "You said you'd been training with Stefan…"

"Yeah…" She looked down at the ground, "I don't think we'll be doing that anytime soon. Who knows, maybe he'll vervain me next if he wants to go off and meet with Klaus for a while."

"It's complicated, Elena." Damon looked at her sadly. "I know you're frustrated with me right now and I'm not saying you shouldn't be. He has some… explaining he needs to do but he can't talk to you about it right now. Give him time."

"People in a relationship talk to each other, Damon."

"Yeah…Look…" Damon shook his head. "What I'm trying to say is that if you want to keep training then maybe I could… work with you a little. If today was any indication, you're already good. But I could make you great."

She cocked an eyebrow at him. "You're that good, huh?"

"Better." He smirked, and then in an instant he had her spun around and pressed against the far wall, a pencil somehow in his hand and pressing against her side, where he had once told her to use to get to a vampire's heart. "See?"

"Show off." Reaching around she grabbed his wrist and flipped their positions, her hands naturally moving to his neck and stopping just short of snapping it. "Immobilized."

"Very nice." He slid his hands down her arms and lightly pressed her back, removing himself from danger. "Let's start tomorrow. It'll make you feel powerful and that can't hurt right now. You need to take back control over your life. This will let you do that."

Feeling a flicker of hope, she nodded. "Yeah, okay. Let's do it."

"Good." Leaning in, he pressed his lips to her forehead. "Then get some rest. Meet me in the usual spot in the woods at 11:00 tomorrow."

She nodded, wishing she had the courage to ask him to stay as he moved toward her window. "Damon…?"

He stopped and turned toward her, waiting.

"Nothing. Just, uh… thanks. For everything."

Smiling, he moved back toward her, cupping her face in his hands. "We're going to get through this, Elena. You're going to be fine. I promise you."

She nodded. "I believe you."

"Good." His eyes dropped to her mouth for the briefest of moments, but then he stepped backward. "Sweet dreams…"

He was gone in a flash, but the warmth and comfort he had brought lingered even as she slipped between her covers. She had meant it when she told him she believed him. In all of the conflict in her life, he never failed to be exactly what she needed whenever she needed it.

Exhausted, she drifted to sleep before she could think about what that might mean for their future.

XOXO

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