So sorry for the late update! I don't want to give an excuse but I had some medical personal emergency and couldn't finish this in time. ):)

Hope you enjoy this!

Summer of 2016

When Sakura meets Sai, it's not Sakura meeting Sai. It's Sai practically hounding her for help with an assignment for their shared History class.

"Oh my god," Sakura groans when Sai pops up at her regular café near the college.

Kabuto looks up from his laptop. "What's wrong?"

Sakura nods in Sai's direction, who is making his way through the tables, straight at them, a sweet smile plastered on his face.

"Babe, just get it over with," Kabuto laughs.

"I don't want to," Sakura complains. "I'm so tired!"

"You know he won't stop until you do it," Kabuto reminds her.

He's right. Sai is known to be the Annoying Persistent Jerk in their common circle. But there hadn't been any reason for Sakura to personally interact with him, so she never really bothered with it. Now, now, Sai has decided that Sakura is his best option for help and if she could just maybe hide under the table –

"Let's just do it," Sakura sighs as soon as Sai reaches them and opens his mouth.

He grins. "Perfect."

Then he dumps his bag on the table, rattling the half-full beverage glasses and the plate of sandwich. Kabuto tsks in annoyance when the laptop shakes and the mouse slips away. Sai doesn't bend down to get it for him.

Sakura purses her lips to stop from laughing. Kabuto seems to be regretting his words already.

And that just becomes the beginning of Sakura's Sai Infested Life. The man seems to have now decided that Sakura and he are friends, so he begins to appear during free lectures to hang out with her group. At first, Lee doesn't really mind him or pay much attention to him. Hinata loves him instantly, though. Kabuto pretends as though Sai is merely part of the surroundings, and Kimimaro and his girlfriend – Karin, for whatever reasons – at least make an effort to include him in conversations.

To be fair, he isn't a bad person. Just an insistent one. Sai would flit from group to group, never really sticking to anyone. Sakura thinks that he might just as well repeat the pattern, and is genuinely surprised when Sai is still very much a part of her circle even after two whole months.

Hinata tells her one day that Sai might be sticking around for Karin.

Sakura stares blankly. "What?"

Hinata shrugs, her pale eyes filled with mirth, adjusting the lavender wrap dress around her better. They are in the middle of getting ready for a house party later at Kankuro's flat. Karin has already left to meet with Kimimaro and despite Kabuto's insistence that he can pick up the girls, Sakura assured him that they'll get a lift from Lee.

Lee, who is currently in the tiny cramped washroom, setting his hair with a comb.

"I can't imagine them together at all," Sakura remarks, blinking a few times to check the mascara. "Besides, Karin seems to be really happy with Kimimaro."

"I don't think anything's going to happen," Hinata tells her. "I'm just sharing why Sai is sticking around so much."

"Do you think he'll ditch once he realises Karin might not be interested?"

And then Hinata teases her, "Will it bother you if he ditches, Sakura?"

Sakura's cheeks warm. She's maintained an aloof distance with Sai all this time, tolerating him only because he is present. That's not true anymore, though. Sai somehow reminds her of Uchiha Sasuke – his filter-less mouth, tenacity to provoke, and finding pleasure in teasing her. She never takes it seriously because she knows that he doesn't, either.

Lee steps out of the washroom, donned in a pair of distressed white denim, plain white shirt, and a light blue denim jacket. His hair is parted on one side, and Hinata whistles at him, making him laugh.

He does look good, Sakura decides.

Lee has recently begun taking efforts with his physical appearance and it shows. Sakura has no idea what is the source of this sudden inspiration, but she is pleasantly surprised, nonetheless. Not that Lee used to look bad before. He just never really bothered with appearances. Or maybe Sakura never paid that attention to him.

Hinata says that they should get going. It's late for even to be "fashionably late".

Winter 2020 – Present Day

When Itachi leaves, Sakura spends the rest of the evening in her bed, staring at the ceiling in darkness.

She can't take being in her own mind for more than an hour, though, and forcefully gets up, feeling restless and frustrated and extremely vulnerable. She opens the balcony door and steps out on the cold metal, feeling it ground her.

There was no point to it, she thinks. No point in saying any of that. She could have just refused to be near him and not break down. Because Itachi might still be Itachi, he's not her Itachi anymore. He's the guy who broke her heart, the one who abandoned her. Who was her friend and then suddenly wasn't.

He doesn't deserve any explanation.

Right?

The problem is, it still bothers her even today. Why? Itachi never told her why. Not then, not now. He kept apologizing and then he left. Sakura deserves an explanation. She can't move forward without one. She just can't. There's no point in wondering what he means to her if she doesn't know what the hell he did in the first place.

She calls up Temari out of sheer desperation. Temari seems surprised to hear from Sakura so late into the night, but promises to meet her the next day.

Naruto is rubbing his neck, flushed and embarrassed. Sakura waits for him to get to the point.

"So," he clears his throat. "I think I'm going to stop seeing – Sasuke."

Sakura opens and shuts her mouth a few times, not really knowing where to begin. After a few moments of staring contest, she settles on a simple, "Why?"

Naruto shrugs and the coffee in his hand spills over. Sakura grabs some tissues and passes it to him.

The breakroom isn't crowded but for Anko and Kakashi is one corner, whispering amongst themselves.

"Well – I just. I'm dating his friend, Sakura!" Naruto says desperately. "And the thing is, I actually like Sasuke. For real. Like I'm not in love with the guy, obviously. But I definitely wonder how it would be like to kiss him. Or touch his hair. That's so bad. I feel awful."

Sakura bites her lip, giving a sympathetic pat on his back. "You have to stop seeing Kiba."

Naruto doesn't like the idea. "I can't do that! I can't just say hey I like your friend better, we cool? That's worse!"

"But you can't keep seeing Kiba like this," Sakura points out. "You're just being unfair to him."

"Well," Naruto says uncertainly. "I do like Kiba."

"While imagining Sasuke's hair?" Sakura comments dryly.

Naruto's eyes are big and he is visibly struggling with himself over this. "I just wanted to know for sure if I was gay, not become confused between two men."

Despite herself, Sakura laughs. "You'll be fine. You can just not date either you know."

"I guess," Naruto concedes.

They are interrupted by Kakashi and Anko. Kakashi's masked face is still strange to her. But the kids don't seem to mind – in fact, they believe him to be cooler for it.

"Listen up," Kakashi begins promptly. "Onoki is visiting another branch today. This is our chance to speak with Tsunade."

Naruto and Sakura look at each other. Then Naruto speaks, "What do you mean?"

Kakashi rolls his one visible eye. "Are you coming or not?"

Tsunade is sitting with her chin propped up on intertwined fingers, fixing them with stern hazel eyes.

Sakura and Naruto fidget in their seats, while Kakashi dumps himself on the small couch to the left with a stack of papers with zero intention of speaking.

"You know this isn't going to work," Tsunade declares.

Naruto straightens up instantly. "It will! We just have to work harder. He'll understand, I bet."

Tsunade rolls her eyes. "Naruto – he's the branch manager for the city. Doing these little demonstrations isn't going to throw him out. He's only going to pull more weight and force you into it. You either run things according to him or you leave."

"What?" he stares back, dumbfounded. "I can't leave!"

"Why not?"

"Why not?" Naruto repeats in surmounting horror. "You want me to leave my students behind in a school that is becoming a prison?"

"It's none of your business once you leave," Kakashi lazily reminds him.

"It's my business now," Naruto counters stubbornly. "Sakura. Say something."

Sakura gulps. "If something isn't working out, you leave. Otherwise you're just making yourself miserable and fighting a losing battle."

"We decided to fight," Naruto says harshly. "Are you giving up already?"

She flinches. "I – I don't know. I know Onoki is a terrible influence on the school. But – well. How long do we fight until we – stop?"

"What's gotten into you?" Naruto bodily turns to her, ignoring Tsunade entirely now. "This was your idea in the first place!"

"I know," Sakura agrees.

"So what?" Naruto's eyes bore into hers. "You're just running away now?"

That's what you always do. You always run. You always leave.

She's just so tired of chasing.

"Listen," Tsunade cuts in smoothly. "Take some time. Think it over. I only wanted to tell you that Onoki is not an easy person to bend. Just because the lunch and breakroom trick worked doesn't mean you're off the hook. He's going to make things even harder."

Naruto leaves without looking at her.

Temari visits her later that evening.

They haven't met in months and Sakura first insists on talking about Temari's work, wanting to listen to all kinds of adventures.

"Are you serious?" Sakura stares at her, the hand coming to a stop before the beer reaches her lips. "You dressed up in a swan costume to get photos?"

"Yes," Temari cackles. "That was a fun day. Although Shika didn't come near me for one whole day because I positively stank from being in that lake for almost ten hours."

"Yikes. Don't you do anything – you know. Normal?"

Temari smirks. "Wedding photos count, then?"

"Yeah yeah."

"I want to pursue this," Temari sobers up. "Wildlife. I'm not very good at it, though."

"I'm sure you'll do good," Sakura assures her genuinely. "You've been in this for five years now. That's a good amount of experience."

Temari shrugs. "I suppose."

There an expectant silence in the room after that. Sakura focuses on chewing her food and Temari waits patiently for five whole minutes.

"Spit it out," she says with a laugh. "I won't be offended."

Sakura blushes. "It's not that. I just don't know where to begin."

She smirks. "Maybe I can help?"

Sakura doesn't respond.

"I know this is about Itachi," Temari rolls her eyes. "I was waiting for you to call me, honestly. I'm surprised you called me so soon, though."

Sakura stays quiet.

"I thought it would be another couple of months given your and his combined level of stubbornness."

"He didn't even explain himself," Sakura finally admits, feeling the rage brimming under her skin. "Does he really expect me to just accept his apology and move on?"

Temari raises on eyebrow. "Do you want to move on?"

"From the situation or him?"

"Both."

Sakura chews more food.

"See this won't work if you refuse to talk."

Sakura slows down her chewing. Swallows. "Do you know anything?"

A soft, sad expression crosses Temari's face. "I'm sorry. He never talked about it."

"Do you think something had happened?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know," Sakura says tiredly. "Just – something. Anything."

"I know you want to believe that," Temari says.

"You don't?"

"Why don't you just ask him directly? You keep waiting for him to say something. You always have."

This doesn't sit well with Sakura. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Temari holds her hands up in defence. "Hear me out. I'm not saying it's your fault. But Sakura – he gave you so many hints through school and you refused to believe any of them. And then after you went to college, you kept getting mad at him when you didn't do anything yourself. You kept holding him accountable for his lack of actions when you were guilty of the same. What did you do – really? You pined after him for years and never said a word but expected him to. That doesn't sound fair."

Sakura glares icily. "You mean when he dated Shiho? Or Samui? Those were his hints?"

It doesn't faze Temari in the slightest. "No, I mean when he spent all his time with you. When he kept asking you to join us. When he broke up with Shiho because –"

"Because I suddenly broke the rules," Sakura cuts in harshly. "Is that what he wanted? For me to do things I usually wouldn't do just to impress him?"

"You're taking it in the wrong way," Temari counters. "He broke up with Shiho because you sounded jealous. Not because you broke rules, for god's sake."

"And then dated Samui."

"And you dated Takeshi."

"Because Itachi just – didn't do anything!"

"Exactly my point!" Temari exclaims. "It was okay for you to date Takeshi because you believed he didn't show any interest. But it's not okay for him to date even though you never showed any interest, either?"

"I don't –" Sakura stammers. "I don't mean it like that."

Except that Temari sounds about right. Sakura never did anything about anything. Just kept waiting for Itachi to take the first step in everything. In friendship, in showing an interest, in wanting more, in kissing, in asking out.

"It still doesn't make him right, though," Sakura says firmly.

"It doesn't," Temari agrees. "But it doesn't give you any right to point fingers when you've been the same."

"Fine," Sakura exhales. "What about college? The fact that he chose not to be with me and then dated that woman later?"

"I don't know about that," Temari admits. "When Itachi told us you wanted to stop contact entirely, we tried asking him what had happened. But he kept saying it's for the better. I think he meant it was better for you."

"It wasn't!" Sakura says angrily. "Why would he even think that?"

"You have to ask him."

Silence.

They eat some more, chew on more food.

Then Temari breaks it. "Do you want him in your life?"

"I don't know," Sakura admits quietly. "I don't want to deal with more pain when it comes to him."

"But you're falling for him again." Temari's words are clear and non-judgemental. It's as if she's pointing out the weather.

Sakura's heart hammers at the notion. A chaos has been building up this whole time, from the moment she chose to approach him at Starbucks, and Sakura believes that it won't be very long until it envelops her completely. Or maybe the storm is already here.

Sakura doesn't believe that it's possible to un-love Itachi. She can get mad at him, can decide to break all ties, can decide that he is not someone she can date, but she can't un-love him. It's just not possible.

It kind of makes her mad. At him. At herself. At the situation. It's been so long and how does he still have that power over her? Granted, it's not the same as before. But it's overwhelming in its own way. Itachi has managed to get under her skin with a mere look.

"How could I re-fall in love if I was never over him?" Sakura snaps, her irritation flaring up.

Temari smirks back, almost lazily. "Looks like you're managing it just fine."

Summer of 2016

Karin throws a pen at her head.

"Hey!" Sakura snarls, her foul mood magnifying by tenfold. "Watch it."

Karin glares from behind her thick red-rimmed glasses, hair all over the place, looking haggard and sleep deprived. "I don't know about you but we have our finals coming up. So shut the fuck up and let me study in peace!"

Sakura picks up the pen and throws it back. It hits Karin in the chest. "Stop throwing shit at me."

"Stop complaining then."

"I was sharing!" Sakura says loudly.

"When I'm trying to study?"

Sakura groans. "I'm just so mad, Karin. How dare he even say that?"

Karin huffs loudly, slams her book shut, spins around until she is glaring at Sakura in the face. Sakura halts in her incessant pacing.

"Lee likes you. It's not a surprise."

Sakura feels a weird churning in her stomach. "I'm not so sure. Besides, my point is that it doesn't matter. I don't like Lee – not like that. He's my friend."

"Kabuto thinks there's more."

"He always thinks there's more!" Sakura complains. "He never trusts me with these things. He believes that I might just dump him any second for another person."

Karin raises one pointed eyebrow. "He had a reason to do that before."

Sakura ignores the skip in her heartbeat at the clear implication of that person. "He doesn't have any now."

Or does he? Sakura has been feeling a little … wrong-footed when it comes to Lee recently. She has found herself wondering how it would be to really date him. To have him show romantic affection towards her. Because the thing is – there are these moments again.

Like the time when their legs were dangling over the bridge as a crisp chill air bit at her exposed face and Lee was telling her about the most beautiful sunset he had seen when he was ten years old, when the sky was splashed with pink and orange and purple and it was the time when stars are beginning to twinkle but not really and Sakura could imagine it in her mind, and Lee seemed so passionate about such a simple everyday thing.

Or the time when Lee had snatched her by the hand to save her from an oncoming bus just in time, and then Sakura had buried her head in his chest as he whispered comforting words in her ears, and the crowd had been nothing but a blurry background of colours and muted noises, and nothing had been as real as his arms around her.

Or that one time when he had agreed to an expensive birthday dinner in an instant just because Sakura remarked she wanted to try it, and the food didn't even turn out to be that good, but it was still nice because Sakura hadn't been to many nice restaurants and it had been an experience in itself, and Hinata had ended up with a date for the next day, and Lee had teased her throughout the night for stealing his thunder.

Or how just last evening, Sakura had almost instinctively turned towards Lee to share a laugh with when Sai had finally asked out Karin in front of Kimimaro and got punched in the face instead, and Lee was already turning to her as well, and Sakura felt a warmth blooming in her chest that she brushed away the next instant because Kabuto was putting his arm around her to bury his face in her shoulder, muttering the sheer stupidity of Sai's behaviour.

"You need to do something if you want to save this thing," Karin rolls her eyes. "If you want to save it."

"Of course, I do," Sakura shoots back, feeling offended. "I like him."

"Sakura," Karin sighs impatiently. "Kabuto is in love with you. He doesn't merely like you. Are you ever going to reach his page?"

"I might," Sakura replies. The words fall flat and empty.

Karin doesn't even blink. "I love it when you want to stay in denial."

"Whatever. I'm going out."

"Thank fuck," Karin mutters and promptly shows her back, ending the conversation.

Winter 2020 – Present Day

When she meets Itachi next, it's at Starbucks with a large group. There's Temari, Konan, Sasuke, Deidara, Tobi, Hidan, and Suigetsu.

She's sitting between Temari and Deidara while Itachi is right across the table, watching her silently even as he speaks with Sasuke in low voices. Konan is in an argument with Hidan, and Tobi has hogged Deidara all to himself.

Sakura feels completely out of place. She honestly agreed to "hang out" with Itachi because he texted her that it's going to be a group and that Temari will also be joining. Now she's thinking that maybe it wasn't worth it. Every time he locks eyes with her, Sakura feels naked and vulnerable.

To have something to do, she takes a sip of her Java Chip Frappe. It tastes just the right amount of sweet and bitter so she focuses on that until Deidara pulls her in a conversation about her work. It's clear he's not really interested but it's better than engaging with Tobi's overenthusiasm. So Sakura entertains him with stories of her students, under Itachi's constant watchful gaze.

Konan leaves first when Yahiko calls and suggests they have an online dinner date. Hidan follows soon after claiming he's in the mood for some video games. This continues until it's only Itachi and Sasuke and Sakura, and then Sasuke says this –

"Well, I better leave you two lovebirds to catch up," and promptly leaves.

Now there's nowhere to look but at him.

"I should –" Sakura begins at the same time Itachi says, "Listen –"

They pause.

"You go," Itachi says, one hand cupped around his black coffee.

Sakura's phone starts to ring. It's her mom.

"Hello?" she says in the phone, gratefully tearing her eyes away to study the table-top instead.

"Sakura," her mom begins. "Where are you?"

"Out."

Her mother sighs. "Always so difficult. Guren is coming over tonight with Matsuri for dinner."

Sakura rolls her eyes. "So?"

"So be here in half an hour."

"I'm not coming. I don't need to come."

"Aunt Guren wants you here, Sakura," Mebuki says as though that clarifies everything. "She wants to know whether your school is a good prospect for Matsuri. She isn't happy with her current school."

Well … Sakura sighs, knowing it would be way too rude to deny now. She actually likes her cousin.

"Fine. I'll be there."

Itachi is sipping at his coffee. He lowers his hand, already appearing disappointed. "You have to go?"

Sakura tries for a casual shrug. "Yeah. Aunt Guren's calling for Matsuri's school issues."

Itachi winces. "You better leave then."

His expression draws out a sudden laugh, because that's how she's feeling about meeting her aunt again. Apologizing three more times, Sakura picks up her belongings, and remembers she didn't bring her car today. She hesitates for a few moments, considering asking Itachi for a ride but decides against it.

Itachi assures her it's alright, that they will talk later. He doesn't make a move to leave yet, though.

"I'm just going to finish this first," he explains, tapping at his coffee with one lean finger.

"Alright."

Sakura steps out of Starbucks, heading to the right to the nearest tube station. She's five minutes away from Starbucks when a random thought passes her mind –

….wait.

Itachi winced when he heard that Sakura has been called by Aunt Guren. He said oh, you better leave then. Itachi doesn't even know who she is. Sakura has never told him.

It could be a generic response. It could be because Sakura, herself, appeared constipated at the thought of speaking with her aunt about anything at all, and is clearly not looking forward to it.

Still.

Sakura can't ignore the growing uneasiness in her stomach. Something feels … off. Not off, perhaps. But odd. Suspicious. She tries to ignore it as much as possible, and fails. She tries to tell herself that she doesn't have her car, cabs are nearly impossible to get in this part of the city, and the sky is a hovering dark grey, ready to burst any second.

Still.

Fuck this. Sakura turns around, quickly retracing her steps on knobbly knees and staggering heels. The sensation in the pit of her stomach is growing with every moment and she feels like she might bowl over and puke her guts out. Itachi can't know Aunt Guren. He has nothing to do with her. Nothing at all.

The sky explodes with a loud roar and sheets of rain drench her within five seconds flat. The pedestrians around her are now scrambling to get under cover, anything they can find, and Sakura finds herself being pushed and shoved roughly as she tries not to panic. The cold feeling under her skin has nothing to do with the chill weather. Just as Itachi has nothing to do with Aunt Guren.

The Starbucks is in view now. And so is Itachi. He is standing outside the doors, under the entrance awning with two other people, fiddling with his phone. Sakura can't look away. He's just so goddamn beautiful and the thought feels like home.

"Itachi! Itachi!"

Itachi's head snaps up and searches for her. Sakura is still a few steps away, staggering on her heels, breaths rapid, but now for a whole different reason because Itachi's eyes are widening in alarm and he immediately leaves his safe place to catch her just as she stumbles onto him, face in his neck.

"Sorry," she mumbles, hands clutching at his forearms in a vice grip. "Listen. I – Itachi. Listen."

Itachi doesn't let go. He helps her stand on her feet, and Sakura realises that Itachi is now soaking wet, too.

"What's wrong?" he calls over the loud noise of the water and the honking traffic. "Sakura, are you okay?"

She gulps. "I'm fine. Listen. Itachi – listen."

Itachi frowns, pushing the wet strands away from her face with one hand. "I'll listen. Just come under here. You'll fall sick."

"No," she nearly shouts, eyes fixing on his, not wanting to let any expression escape her. "Do you – do you know my Aunt Guren?"

Itachi stills. His Adam's apple bobs in his throat. The rain continues to lash at them.

And Sakura knows.

"Tell me everything."

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Update cycle is still one week ^.^