Monday, 20th November 1972

After spending the night wrapped in Sirius' scent, Remus got through the morning without too much difficulty. Charms was fine. Professor Flitwick always cut him some slack around the full moon, and the spell they were practising—Deletrius, a charm used to disperse the lingering visible effects of spell work—wasn't particularly taxing. Defence was tougher. Moonrise was closer by then, and the class was more physical. They were practising the tripping jinx, though, and with everyone else stumbling around, Remus' weakness wasn't as noticeable. He wondered if Professor Tenebris had timed it that way on purpose, or if it was a lucky coincidence.

By the time class broke for lunch, he was dead on his feet and trying very hard not to show it. Everyone was preparing to leave when Professor Tenebris cleared her throat. 'Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew, a word before you leave, please.'

Remus got a sinking feeling in his stomach. Was she about to insist on pre-moon training? They walked over to her desk, but she waited for the room to clear before speaking. 'There won't be a lesson tomorrow evening. I thought you'd all need a rest after tonight. We'll carry on next week, okay?'

No one argued. None of them had been looking forward to one of her strenuous, high-pressure lessons after a sleepless night, least of all Remus.

Outside the classroom, though, James stopped them. 'What do you think she meant by we'd "all" need a rest? Does she know we go with you?'

'Maybe she just assumes we'll be up all night worrying,' Sirius said. 'I know I was before I found out where Remus goes.'

'You were?' Remus asked, surprised. He hadn't known that, but thinking back, Sirius did always look knackered when he returned after a transformation.

'Yeah, course.' Sirius said, bumping his shoulder. 'Never knew if you were going to make it through the night, did I? It's a lot easier now I can be right there and hear what's going on.'

'Even the time I was tearing myself apart?'

'Well, no. That was horrible. But that's not going to happen again.'

''Let's hope not,' Remus said. They'd reached the first floor, so Remus stopped. 'I'll see you guys tomorrow, then.'

'What?' all three said together.

'I'm not hungry, and I'm not going to potions, so I'm just going to head to the Hospital Wing now.'

'Well, yeah,' James said. 'We guessed that, but why're you saying goodbye now? We're coming with you.' He shook his head. 'Honestly, Moony. For a smart guy, you can be so stupid sometimes.'

Not giving Remus a chance to argue, James and Sirius retook their positions on either side of him, helping him down the corridor, while Peter went ahead, getting the doors.

'Delivery!' James called as they walked into the empty ward. 'It's fragile, so be gentle with it.'

Madam Pomfrey bustled out of her office. 'Hello, Remus dear. How're you feeling?'

'I'm not fragile,' Remus said, looking at James.

'You won't be in a few hours, that's for sure,' James said with a snort at his own wit.

Remus shoved him, then looked at madam Pomfrey. 'I'm okay. Nothing worse than usual.'

'Alright, you three can go. Lunch time isn't it?'

They all hugged Remus and wished him a good night, for real this month. None of them would see him again until morning. The moon would rise a full hour before class ended and James would be even later than that. He had a Quidditch practice he couldn't get out of. They'd all been extremely apologetic about it, and Remus had told them repeatedly it was fine, but in all honesty, he was scared of how Moony would react to their absence. An hour was a long time when teeth and claws were involved.

'Let's get you comfy then, dear,' Madam Pomfrey said, leading him to a bed nearby. 'I'll take you down when lunch is over. Less chance of being spotted then.'

A little over an hour later, Remus was entering the Shrieking Shack and stripping off his clothes in preparation. The sickening feeling in his chest deepened as he climbed the stairs to curl up on the bed, pausing to cast a few reparo's on the tattered blanket and torn mattress before lying down.

He was surprised at how desperately afraid he felt. Month after month of transformations had taken their toll on his body, leaving their mark in torn skin and broken bones, but gradually, he'd become accustomed to the pain. Not used to it. He didn't think anyone could get used to that sort of pain. But he'd accepted it as a part of his life and the crippling dread had eased into a mild anxiety. Tonight, though—he wrapped his arms tighter around his torso to contain his shivering—tonight he was terrified.

It didn't take a genius to figure out why. Without his friends there, he had nothing to distract him.

He allowed himself to wallow for a few more minutes before forcing himself to relax. Sinking into a black hole of fear wasn't going to do him any good. If he'd learned anything about his transformation over the years, it was that being tense made it worse. Several deep breaths later, he was sinking into his mindscape, which over the last year had begun to look less and less like a generic castle, and more and more like Hogwarts.

Mental Remus, strong and healthy as he was, strode with ease across the lush lawn towards the enormous doors guarding the entrance to his innermost thoughts, feelings, and memories, barely sparing a glance for the familiar tree stood with an air of foreboding on the edge of his awareness. He wasn't sure exactly when the tree had made its appearance, only that he'd noticed it for the first time several weeks ago, and he definitely hadn't put it there himself. What it guarded was a mystery to him, but whatever his mind had seen fit to hide behind such negative symbolism was something he had no interest in viewing up close. He stayed away.

There wasn't a whole lot to do inside since he'd already done his preparations with Peter the previous Saturday, but he meandered around watching memories of the good times he'd spent with his friends and taking comfort from them. He was enthralled by his memory of splashing about in Emhio's pool, chuckling as James leapt on Sirius and dragged him under the water, when the pain began tugging him sharply back to reality.

No pack.

Where are they?

The wolf climbed to his feet and jumped down from the soft place he'd woken up. He was sure he hadn't fallen asleep there the previous day, but he was well used to waking in different places. Far more concerning was the clawing absence of his packmates.

Running down to the lower level of the space he was currently trapped in, he sniffed around but there was nothing but his own scent and smoke from the fire which continued to blaze but never grew.

He reached the shape on the floor that usually separated him from them, sat back on his haunches and howled. Then he waited, listening for a response, but there was nothing.

The wolf paced restlessly around the space, unable to settle without the comforting presence of his pack. Their absence worried at him like an itch he couldn't reach. In his discomfort, he started chewing at his foreleg; the pain working as a distraction from the sense of loss.

Where had they gone? Were they coming back? He couldn't bear to be alone again.

It wasn't enough; he moved onto the other front leg, biting down hard into his flesh until he tasted blood. But the itch wouldn't be satisfied. Tipping his head back, he howled again, putting every ounce of loss into the sound.

Again, there was nothing but silence in response.

He paced. He chewed. He scratched. And he howled. Then suddenly, they were there. He could feel them again. But they were incomplete. The Fighter was there, and the Protected. But the Watcher was still missing. The wolf howled, a greeting entwined with a question. Where was the Watcher?

The answering howls flooded the wolf's body with so much joy that his tail wagged furiously behind him, beyond his ability to control it. They didn't sound worried. The Watcher must be safe, perhaps coming later, but he couldn't relax until he was there. So he paced, taking comfort from the strange sounds his packmates made below his feet, but listening, always listening for the one that was missing.

And his patience was rewarded. The Watcher arrived, howling his greetings, and the wolf howled back, welcoming him home, before finally settling down to enjoy their company. His only wish, that the barrier separating them would somehow disappear, so they could be together properly.

The first hour of Potions passed slowly for Sirius. They were studying the properties of flobberworm mucus. It was mind-numbingly boring, and he found his thoughts wandering frequently, causing him to forcefully return his attention to the task. Nothing he tried could keep him focused on such a boring assignment, though. His stool was uncomfortable, and he was constantly changing his position. The classroom was silent but for the scratching of quills on parchment and the occasional cough, and every single sound drew his attention like it had been an explosion. How anyone could concentrate in these conditions was beyond him. He tried tapping his fingers on the desk, but that earned him too many scowls from the other students, so he stopped. Jiggling his leg along to the music playing in his head made his stool squeak, resulting in more annoyed glances. When he took out his wand and twirled it in his fingers like he did while doing homework, it helped, but Slughorn quickly told him to stop. That was inappropriate use of one's wand, apparently.

Merlin, he hated it when his brain was like this. Give him something interesting and he could concentrate just fine, better than anyone else, even. Like with the events they planned for the school, or his art, that was easy. But when the subject was boring, his mind just point blank refused to cooperate. He didn't know how other people did it. Was he just lazy? Maybe he wasn't trying as hard as everyone else did. But he felt like he was trying as hard as he could.

The relief when they were dismissed for a break halfway through the double period was immense, only dampened by the knowledge that Remus would be transforming at three pm and they wouldn't be able to be there for another hour. He gave serious (Sirius) thought to skipping class, smirking to himself at his mental pun, but decided against it. McGonagall would put two and two together even if Slughorn didn't, and he couldn't risk being prevented from spending the full moons beneath the Shrieking Shack.

'We should pack up some food,' Peter said, surveying the break-time offerings in the Great Hall. 'So we don't have to come in for dinner.'

Sirius agreed. The selection provided for break time wasn't exactly dinner food, but Remus had to suffer a gruelling transformation every month; the least they could do was eat snack food for dinner. So they filled their bags with fruit, sandwiches and pastries, before returning to class for the second half of the lesson, ashwinder eggs.

The topic was more interesting than flobberworm mucus, but by that point, Sirius knew Remus would be in wolf form, and his thoughts would not be torn from thinking of Moony waking up alone. He barely did any work, and he hoped someone else had taken decent notes for Remus, because his were useless. Slughorn gave him and James both detention for their lack of effort, but luckily, they wouldn't have to serve them until the following evening.

'Merlin, that was boring,' James said as they left after a lecture from the professor.

Sirius hummed his agreement. 'Couldn't concentrate at all.'

'You two are crazy,' Peter said. 'The properties of ashwinder eggs are fascinating. You know if you don't store them at a temp below—'

'Please, Pete,' James said, clasping his hands in a begging motion. 'As much as I love listening to you talk about brewing. I really can't take anymore of it today.'

'We need to get going anyway,' Sirius said, giving the others a meaningful look. 'It's already been an hour.'

'Yeah, you're right,' James said. 'You guys go. I'll meet you down there after practice.'

Sirius wasted no time in donning the cloak with Pete in the closest alcove, before crossing the grounds at speed. They heard Moony the moment they entered the passage beneath the Willow, a mournful howl echoing down the tunnel towards them. Sirius didn't hesitate to respond, throwing his head back and cupping his hands around his mouth, and Peter quickly joined him.

Looking up at the trapdoor when they reached it, Sirius said, 'Hi Moony, sorry we're late.'

'Yeah,' Peter said. 'We had class, and James has Quidditch practice, but he'll be here in a couple of hours.'

Moony didn't settle down like he usually did at the sound of their voices. Instead, he continued to pace and whine. They could hear the floorboards creaking under his weight.

'He seems restless,' Sirius said, turning his gaze to Peter. 'I hope he hasn't hurt himself.'

'If he has, it can't be too bad if he's still walking around. Maybe he knows James is missing.'

'Do you think?' Sirius looked back up at the trapdoor. 'How could he know? He can't smell us down here.'

Peter shrugged. 'Our voices maybe?'

'Do an impression of James.'

'You do an impression of James.'

'Fine.' Sirius cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair to mess it up. Standing up straight, he waggled a finger at Peter. 'Eat some fruit or I'll scowl at you all day long.'

Peter snorted. 'That was terrible.'

Sirius stuck his tongue out. 'At least I tried.'

'Alright, fine,' Peter said. He coughed and straightened his spine, shaking out his hands and shrugging his shoulders a few times.

'This is a lot of preparation for an impression, Pete,' Sirius said.

'Shush.'

Sirius held his hands up in surrender.

In a ridiculously stuck-up voice that sounded nothing like James, Peter said. 'Did you see me score that amazing goal? Wasn't it incredible? I'm such a legend.'

Sirius wrinkled his nose. 'Is that what we sound like to you?'

'Well, it wasn't perfect, but I thought it was pretty good.'

Sirius sank onto the floor, leaning back against the wall of the tunnel. 'You sounded like my grandfather. Do we really sound that posh?'

'It's not a bad thing,' Peter said, joining him on the floor. 'It would be if you were mean, but you're not, so who cares what you sound like?'

'I do,' Sirius said. 'I don't want to sound like my family.'

'So, do something about it,' Peter said. 'You can change the way you speak.'

Sirius resolved to do exactly that, but in the mean time, Moony was still pacing restlessly and stopping to whine every now and then. 'Doesn't seem fooled by the voices, does he?'

'No,' Peter agreed. 'Doesn't seem to be hurting himself, though. I'm sure he'll settle down when James gets here.'

'Do you think he…' Sirius trailed off and Peter gave him a sideways look.

'Do I think he, what?'

Sirius hesitated, but he didn't think Peter would laugh at him. 'Do you think he likes James best?'

Peter didn't laugh, but he did smile. 'If he likes anyone best, mate, it's going to be you. But I think he probably just wants all of us to be here. Safe.'

Sirius' stomach flipped over. 'Why me?'

Peter shrugged. 'You were the first to come. He was alone for a long time, and then he wasn't. If he's able to tell us apart somehow, I'm sure you're his favourite.'

Sirius didn't know how to answer that. But he wasn't allowed to stay silent for long. After just a few seconds, Moony let out a long, sad whine.

'Oops. Sorry, Moons. We're still here.'

'Can't be silent down here,' Peter said with a chuckle. 'Merlin knows how we're going to eat.'

'Guess we'll have to take turns,' Sirius said. 'We'll have to wait for James, though. Unless you want to read to Moony while I eat?'

'We finished the book last month. Did you bring something new?'

'Yeah, it's the sequel, though.'

'We should save it until James gets here. He'll be mad if we start it without him.'

Sirius sighed. 'That's true. Wish we had Merlin's adventure with us. That would pass the time.'

'We'll have to remember to bring it next month. I have exploding snap cards?' Peter offered.

'The explosions might upset Moony.'

It was Peter's turn to sigh. 'Guess there's nothing else for it.'

'What?'

Peter pulled a miserable expression. 'We'll have to do homework. Binns and McGonagall both set reading. Which do you want to do?'

Sirius laughed. 'I'll take the History. I know you have trouble with the names.'

Sirius pulled out his textbooks while Peter unpacked the food, and they settled back to pass the time until James arrived.

Moony continued to whine and pace throughout the readings. Nothing changed in his demeanour until—during Peter's attempts to recite Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration and its five exceptions—the wolf suddenly stopped whining to release another howl.

When a poor replica of the sound echoed back up the tunnel, Sirius and Peter grinned at each other before joining in. Their pack was back together and all was right with the world.

With James finally there, Moony settled down to relax, and they spent the next several hours taking it in turns to read out loud so he'd be assured of their continued presence.

As much as they wanted to stay until the moon set, it was impossible. It wouldn't go down until a few minutes after nine and they had Herbology at 8:30. So at 8:00, they bid Moony goodbye and made their way to class, stopping in at the Great Hall on the way for some food.

They were all exhausted, of course, but Herbology wasn't too bad. Despite being on their feet for it, the task of planting seeds wasn't particularly labour intensive. Transfiguration was where they came into difficulty. Having learned the separate methods of altering organic matter's material composition, colour, and shape, they were now expected to combine all three methods to transfigure a seedling into a coloured glass leaf.

'It can be any colour you like, except green,' Professor McGonagall instructed the class. 'But it should be as delicate as a real leaf, and I want to see detail.'

Sirius groaned under his breath. This was going to be impossible in his current state. Why couldn't today be a nice easy essay? But he did his best. Transfiguration was an important class for their animagus project (name still to be decided) and they all worked hard in it. But today was not going well for any of them. James' seedling had collapsed into a small mound of powdery sand atop his plant pot, Peter's had caught fire, and Sirius', while purple, was still sadly seedling shaped and—he poked it with his wand—seemed to be made of something gelatinous. How the hell had that happened?

'I'm very disappointed in all three of you,' Professor McGonagall said after class, having requested they stay behind. 'Mister Potter and Mister Black, you two are usually my top students after Mister Lupin, and Mister Pettigrew, you're usually at least above average. So, with that said, can any of you explain your abysmal performance today?'

'We're sorry, Professor,' James said. 'We're all a bit tired, to be honest.'

'All of you?' Professor McGonagall raised an eyebrow. 'So you stayed up too late having a little party in your dorm room last night?'

Sirius gave her a disbelieving look. 'No, Professor. It was a full moon last night.'

'While I can see why that would stop certain persons from sleeping, I don't see why that would make any difference to you.'

'We never know if he's going to come back in the morning,' Sirius said in a quiet voice. 'It's hard to sleep when you're worrying about someone you care about.' It was close enough to the truth that Sirius didn't feel bad about the lie.

James nodded. 'And the moon didn't set until nine, so we haven't been able to check on him yet. That probably didn't help us concentrate.'

Professor McGonagall's stern expression softened. 'Yes, I can understand why you'd be worried. I received word from Madam Pomfrey shortly after moonrise. He's fine, but I'm sure you're eager to see that for yourselves. Go on, then.'

'Thank you, Professor,' James said. Sirius and Peter both murmured their own thanks, before hurrying after him out of the door.

It took them no more than a few minutes to reach the doors of the Hospital Wing. Two beds were occupied, but they had the curtains drawn, hiding the patients from sight. Madam Pomfrey seemed to have been expecting them and she put a finger to her lips when they walked in. Obeying the request for silence—stealth was a speciality of theirs after all—they crept after her into her office and waited for her to open the hidden door, checking Remus was awake before waving them through.

'Hi,' Remus croaked, his voice hoarser than usual after the moon.

'Hey, Wolf Boy,' Sirius said, giving him a cheeky grin and trying not to stare at the white bandages covering his arms. 'How're you doing?'

'Better now you're here,' he said. 'Come sit down?'

Sirius obliged, wrapping an arm around his shoulders so Remus could rest his head on his chest. Remus' own chest expanded against his side as he took in a deep breath and Sirius smiled to himself.

Peter deposited his box of chocolate frogs beside Remus' bed before pulling himself up onto the windowsill, and James flopped onto his stomach at Remus' feet.

'What's with the bandages?' James asked, showing much less restraint than Sirius had.

Remus pulled his arms to his chest, hiding them from sight under the covers. 'The wolf was upset last night.'

'It's alright, Moons. You don't have to tell us,' Sirius said, glaring at James.

James buried his face in the mattress. 'Shit, sorry, Moony. Sirius is right. Ignore me, I'm just tired.'

'You should all go and get some sleep,' Remus said. 'There's no need for you to be here.'

'Sleep is for the weak,' James mumbled into the mattress.

Peter pulled his feet up onto the windowsill, twisting around so his back was to the wall, he let his head rest against the glass. 'I'm pretty comfy right here, to be honest.'

Sirius chuckled as he struggled to keep his eyes open, finally losing the battle and letting them drift closed. 'Think you're stuck with us, Moonbeam.'

Madam Pomfrey woke the three of them up an hour later, allowing them to lunch in Remus' room, before insisting they leave for class, promising to return their friend to them by the end of the day.

The short nap had given them enough energy to make it through Charms without drawing the teacher's ire, and the last class of the day was History of Magic, which they all napped through. Sirius would feel guilty about that if it wasn't for the fact that he retained far more information from reading the textbook than he ever did listening to Binns' droning voice as he lectured.

When classes ended, Sirius went to the Hospital Wing to collect Remus, while James and Peter ran up to the dorm to prepare Remus' bath.

'You ready to come home?' Sirius asked when Madam Pomfrey let him into Remus' room.

Remus smiled. He was already dressed and had his bag in hand. 'So ready. Let's get out of here.'

Sirius took his bag and let him lean his weight against him as they made their slow way back upstairs, using the now familiar route, utilising secret passages wherever possible and bypassing the busy corridors.

'We're back,' Sirius called out as they walked into the dorm room.

James burst out of the bathroom grinning widely, his glasses so steamed up Sirius wasn't sure how he could see anything. 'Moony!' He wrapped him in a gentle hug and dropped a kiss on the top of his head before stepping back to look him over. 'We've got a nice hot bath waiting for you. We'll go get dinner while you enjoy it, okay?'

Remus hummed his approval. 'That sounds wonderful. Thank you.'

'No problem,' James said with a happy grin.

Peter emerged from the bathroom then. 'It's all ready for you, Moons.'

'You guys are incredible,' Remus said.

'It's no more than you deserve,' Sirius said. 'Go enjoy it.'

Grabbing some clean clothes from his trunk first, Remus entered the bathroom. They waited, and two seconds later, he poked his head back out. 'Chocolate, candles, and pumpkin juice?'

Sirius winked. 'Nothing but the best for you, Moons.'

Remus laughed and disappeared back inside.

Half an hour later, when Remus exited the bathroom, they enjoyed a picnic dinner on the floor of their dorm, during which Remus was strangely quiet. Or maybe it just seemed that way because Sirius and James were rather more energetic even than usual, over-tired as they were from lack of sleep. Regardless, Sirius was concerned. Unfortunately, he couldn't speak with Remus about it right away because he had detention with Slughorn.

When he entered the dungeon room with James by his side, Slughorn was sitting at his desk doing some kind of paperwork, but he glanced up when they walked in.

'Ah, Mister Black and Mister Potter. Please come and have a seat. You'll both be writing an essay for me on flobberworm mucus and ashwinder eggs to make up for your lack of work in class. Take any line of argument you wish, but you must include the information we learned in class today. Since neither of you were paying attention, you may use your textbooks.'

Any line of argument I like? Sirius thought. Alright then. Taking a seat, he retrieved parchment, a quill, and ink from his bag, but didn't bother taking out his textbook. Just because he hadn't completed the work and Slughorn didn't think he'd been paying attention, didn't mean he hadn't learned anything. Then he sat back in his seat to think. How to make flobberworm mucus and ashwinder eggs interesting? He knew flobberworm mucus was mostly used to thicken potions, but it doubled as a stabilising agent for the more volatile ingredients such as ashwinder eggs. That wasn't fun, though.

Ingredients always came with lists of things they shouldn't be allowed to interact with, and both flobberworm mucus and ashwinder eggs had a dislike for pearl dust, for different reasons. The mucus evaporated on contact with the substance, and the ashwinder eggs exploded. Sirius grinned. He could use that.

Dipping his quill in his inkpot, he scrawled a title across the top of his parchment and began.

Using Flobberworm Mucus and Ashwinder Eggs for Potion-based Warfare.

An hour later, Slughorn looked up from reading through the two essays. 'Did you cheat?'

Sirius widened his eyes with surprise. 'No. How could we possibly cheat? We didn't know what you were going to ask us to do until we got here.'

'I just find it a bit strange that you've both written an essay about using pearl dust with the two ingredients to create controlled explosions. Slightly different methods for achieving the desired result, and different suggestions for its application, but still. It's a rather large coincidence.'

'Well, there's only so many things you can do with ashwinder eggs, sir,' Sirius said, shrugging. 'And we both enjoy explosions.'

Slughorn chuckled. 'Very well. I'll take your word for it. This is very good work, boys. Quite clever using the reactions between ingredients in such a way. I don't understand why you have such difficulty focusing your brilliant minds during class time.'

Sirius rolled his eyes before he could stop himself.

'There's no need for insolence, Mister Black. I'm only trying to help. If you tried harder in class, you wouldn't be wasting your free time in detention.'

Sirius bit back a groan. Always with the try harder. Why couldn't people see he was trying?

'You're bright boys. If you set your minds to it, you could do great things.'

Sirius managed to keep his annoyance inside until Slughorn finally released them, but as soon as the classroom door closed behind them, it burst from him in a flurry of words. 'Urgh. "Just try harder" "focus on your work" "You're wasting your intelligence" How about, shut the fuck up, I am trying, focusing isn't that easy. And do you know what, maybe we just have different ideas about what qualifies as a waste, huh?'

'Right?' James agreed. 'If the work wasn't so boring, maybe it wouldn't be so hard to make myself do it. But I sit there, staring at these questions, and I want to answer them, if only so I don't get detention, but instead my brain goes, "Nah, that's boring, check out this Quidditch move I just thought of," and I start thinking about that instead.'

Sirius nodded. 'And then before you know it, class is over and you haven't written a damn thing.'

'Exactly,' James said. He was quiet for a minute. Then, 'Do you ever wonder why it seems so easy for everyone else? I mean, even Pete. He really struggles with written work, but he does it, even if he gets everything wrong.'

'We're not lazy,' Sirius stated, his tone coming out a little more defensive than he would have liked. 'Look at everything we did last year. We're not lazy.'

'No,' James agreed. 'We just have a really low tolerance for boredom.'

'Yes, exactly. You know what I'd really like? Music in class. That would be awesome.'

'I don't know,' James said. 'I think I'd find that really distracting. A nice silent room would work better for me, but someone there just to give me a nudge whenever I forget about the work.'

'But wouldn't you get bored?'

'Yeah, true.' James pulled a face. 'Maybe if I took a break every ten minutes to do something fun. That would make it easier. But knowing I have to sit there and do that for an hour? I can't do it.'

'If I had music, an hour would be no problem,' Sirius said. 'I can't stand the silence. Every little sound distracts me. Like, my brain wants to know what it is, so I have to look. Music would cover up all the little noises and stop me getting bored.'

'Why don't we ask?' James said.

'What?'

'Ask McGonagall if we can try these things to help us in class.'

'She'd laugh us out the door,' Sirius said.

James shrugged. 'If she does, we've lost nothing. But what if she doesn't? What if she listens? I say it's worth a try, because if we can concentrate better in class, we'll be able to complete project pause sooner.'

Sirius snorted. 'We're not calling it that.'

'Why not? It's clever.'

'Because, I don't like the suggestion that we're only pausing Moony's suicide attempts, and not stopping them altogether,' Sirius said quietly. There was no one else around, but still.

'Oh. I didn't think of it like that. My point still stands, though. We should ask.'

'Alright, we'll speak to McGonagall. Tomorrow, though. Right now, I just want to sleep.'

It wasn't a complete lie. He did want to sleep, desperately, but there was something else he wanted to do too.

'Moony, you still awake?' he whispered, wincing as he pulled back Remus' curtains a couple of hours later. He'd forced himself to stay awake by sitting up in bed and drawing while he waited for James and Peter to fall asleep and his back was aching.

'I am now,' Remus murmured. 'What's up?'

'Shit. Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.'

'It's okay,' he said through a yawn. 'You getting in?'

Sirius nodded and crawled under the covers, and Remus snuggled up to him immediately.

After a minute, Remus broke the silence. 'Did you just come here to cuddle, or..?'

'I wanted to see if you're okay,' Sirius said, struggling to put his concerns into words. 'The bandages… And then you were really quiet after your bath.'

'Oh.' Remus said before falling silent again.

Sirius was itching to say more, but forced himself to wait. Remus was probably figuring out how much he wanted to say and how to say it.

'I don't want you to think it's your fault,' he said finally.

'What?'

Remus sat up and looked at him. 'The wolf got quite upset last night. The damage shocked me, but I'll get over it.'

'How bad is it?'

Remus blinked twice and then looked down at his hands, picking at his nails. He nodded once, seemingly to himself, and began rolling up his sleeves. When he was done, he held his arms out in front of him for Sirius' inspection.

Circling each of his forearms was a two-inch wide band of pink scar tissue. Sirius swallowed. That must have hurt like a bitch.

Sirius reached out and trailed a finger over the rough skin, watching as Remus closed his eyes in response. 'Is it sore?'

'Not anymore, I can't feel much of anything there.'

'I'm sorry I wasn't there.'

'I told you it's not your fault.'

'Wouldn't have happened if I'd been there.'

'You had class, it was impossible.'

'I wish Moony would realise we're always going to come back.'

'He'll get the message eventually, I'm sure.' Remus went quiet for a minute, then he took a deep breath. 'Does it look horrid?' he asked, keeping his eyes averted.

Sirius didn't answer straight away. Instead, he took a minute to properly examine the scarring, turning Remus' arms over and back again before looking up. 'No,' he said, shrugging. 'It looks like it hurt, but it's not ugly. It's beautiful in a way. I'd like to paint it. Paint you, with your arms not covered.'

'Oh,' Remus said, pulling his arms away quickly. 'I don't know about that.'

'No pressure,' Sirius said easily, pulling Remus back down to his chest. 'Can I sleep here tonight?'

'Yeah.'

'Thanks.'

Remus seemed much happier the next day, and Sirius hoped he'd helped. The morning slipped by without him really noticing, and he was leaving the Great Hall after lunch when he felt something brush against his hand, slipping a scrap of parchment between his fingers. He looked around to see the back of his brother's head retreating into the Great Hall. Sneaky. Sirius smiled with approval before depositing the note in his pocket to read in private and following his friends to the Den, where they were currently spending all of their free time while Peter brewed the potion for the tracking spell.

'What's that?' James asked, spotting him unfolding the parchment once they were hidden away.

'Note from Reg.'

Siri,

Mother mentioned something in a recent letter that led me to believe that Andromeda is soon to be married. I wondered if you had been invited to the ceremony, and if so, if you would allow me to join you? Andy was always kind to me, and I'd like to wish her well.

Reg.

'He wants to come to the wedding.'

James frowned. 'That's a bit suspicious, isn't it? After what Evans said about him going to that meeting.'

'A bit, yeah.' But did that outweigh everything else? The birthday present, and the lies he'd told on Sirius' behalf? 'I think its genuine, though.'

'It's up to you mate,' James said.

'It'll make leaving tricky if he comes,' Remus pointed out. 'We've got three places outside the school, but they're all secret.'

'If we leave from the cave, we can just blindfold him until we're far enough from the entrance that he won't know where it is,' Peter suggested.

'He'll see the murals, though,' James said. 'He'll figure out we're the Marauders.'

'We wouldn't need to go all the way in,' Remus said. 'We can use the magic detector to find out when we pass the boundary.'

'That seems like a workable plan,' James said. 'Everyone agreed?'

They all nodded.

'I'll tell him he can come, and to meet us in the library corridor at 10 o'clock on the 2nd,' Sirius said. 'Any later than that and we risk being seen together.'

James smiled. 'I'm sure we can find something to do while we wait for the portkey. I'll tell dad we'll be needing a fifth suit.'

'Thanks, mate.' He returned the parchment to his pocket and grabbed his paints. 'Reckon I can get this finished by the end of the week,' he said, eyeing the half painted third wall.

He was right. By the time they returned to their dorm room on Saturday evening for an early night in preparation for the rematch against Slytherin, the Den's decoration was complete. Three of the four walls were completely covered in winding vines and unique flowers, while the fourth was painted stark white. It was breathtaking if Sirius did say so himself. Which he did. Loudly.

Sunday morning, they climbed their way up into the Gryffindor Quidditch stands to (hopefully) watch Gryffindor claim a second victory over Slytherin. Sirius would never admit it in a million years, but he was nervous. If James lost, he was going to be devastated.

The Gryffindor team had been training hard for the rematch. Unfortunately, so had the Slytherins. The Chasers worked together seamlessly on both sides, the Beaters used more strategy than usual instead of relying on brute force, and the Seekers stuck to each other like glue. It was the closest match Sirius had seen at the school yet, and the score was tied at 50 points each when the Seekers shot off across the pitch in pursuit of the Snitch.

When Vanity raised her hand in victory, Sirius could have cried.

'Shit,' he said.

'Bollocks,' Remus agreed.

'Butterbeer?' Peter suggested.

Sirius met his eyes and nodded. 'Butterbeer.'

'I'm on it,' Peter said.

After the match, Peter ran off to procure butterbeer from Hogsmeade, while Remus and Sirius made their way to the changing rooms to meet James.

'He's going to be furious,' Remus said. 'You know that, right?'

Sirius' face was grim. 'I'm ready for it.'

Remus was glad he was ready, because he wasn't sure he would ever be ready to face an angry James. It just wasn't right. James was supposed to be the happy one. That's why they called him Sunshine.

They waited twenty minutes before he emerged. The last one out in a stream of frustrated, sad, and defeated faces. His expression was cold stone.

'Marauder meeting, now,' he hissed when he saw them. 'Where's Pete?'

'Getting butterbeer,' Sirius said.

James considered that for a moment before nodding. 'Good man. We'll have to wait for him in the dorm then. We really need a way to send messages without owls. Something instant would be good.'

Remus smirked. 'Already working on it.'

'Really?' James asked. 'What have you got so far?'

'Can't tell you that. You'll have to wait for Christmas.'

James grinned. 'Well, that's cheered me up a little.'

'What's the meeting for?' Sirius asked.

'Plans, my dear, Twinkles. We have so many plans to make.' James' grin turned a little evil.

'Revenge?' Sirius asked, mirroring James' expression.

'Of the most heinous variety.'

'Naturally.'

'Merlin, help me,' Remus said, glancing between them. 'I'm not sure I want to be involved with this.'

'Of course you do, Moons,' James said, putting an arm around his shoulder and dropping a sloppy kiss on his forehead. 'It's your responsibility as Chief of Safety to keep us from going too far.'

Groaning, Remus wiped the slobber from his head, not even bothering to glare at James, knowing he would get nothing more than a happy grin in response. 'You're right, of course. If only I could go back in time and warn my younger self to not let you wheedle your way into my affections.'

James gasped dramatically. 'You wouldn't! Sirius, are you hearing this? Remus wouldn't be friends with us if he could change the past. I'm heartbroken, Moony. How could you?'

'I only heard him say you, James. I don't think he meant me.'

'Oh, no. Definitely you too. I think I'd still be friends with Pete, though. He doesn't force me to question my morals on an hourly basis.'

'It's healthy to question one's morals frequently,' Sirius said. 'Keeps you from growing stale.'

Remus stared at him. 'That makes no sense.'

Sirius laughed. 'I know.'

They entered the castle then, and James steered them towards the stairs leading down. 'We should grab some food. I've a feeling this meeting's going to be a long one.'

The house-elves were more than happy to provide them with a miniature feast, and they left the kitchens loaded down with food. After quite literally bumping into Peter on the third floor, they went directly to the Den to proceed with planning revenge.

Peter cracked open four bottles and passed them around. 'To the Gryffindor Quidditch team,' he said, raising his bottle in the air. 'We'll destroy the bastards next time!'

'Hear hear!' James said before taking a long swig.

Sirius and Remus both drank to Gryffindor, too.

'To business,' James said. 'It's time we took revenge on the Malediction.'

'You want to target Evans?' Sirius asked.

Remus couldn't blame him for looking incredulous.

James nodded. 'No choice, really. If we don't, they'll either think they've got away with it. Or, Evans will realise it's us because we haven't retaliated.'

'We can't out them, though,' Remus said. 'Gryffindor would ostracise them after losing the rematch.'

'No,' James agreed. 'We need to target them in a way that lets them know the Marauders know their identity, without letting the whole school know.'

'Nothing mean, either,' Peter said. 'I won't hurt Mary.'

'Yeah, I don't want to hurt Marls, either,' Sirius said.

James rolled his eyes. 'Well, obviously I don't want to hurt Evans.'

Remus sighed. 'I suppose I should stick up for Dorcas, then. Since no one else mentioned her.'

'Poor Dorcas,' Sirius said, laughing.

'So, ideas?' James asked, helping himself to a sandwich and sitting on the floor.

'As I remind you every time, James,' Sirius said. 'Ideas are supposed to be your job.'

'I just want to give you all a chance to contribute before I wow you with my brilliance.'

'If we want it to be private,' Peter said. 'Then we should probably target their dorm room.'

'Boys can't get in the girl's dorms,' Remus said.

'Boys can't use the stairs to the girl's dorms,' James corrected. 'There are no protections on the windows.'

'Why do your plans always have to involve flying,' Remus asked.

'We could polyjuice,' Peter suggested.

James glanced at Remus and looked away. 'I thought of that, but I didn't know if Remus could take polyjuice. It's only meant to be consumed by er—'

'Remus is human, James,' Sirius snapped. 'Just because the Ministry classes werewolves as beasts, doesn't make him one.'

Remus placed a hand on Sirius' shoulder. 'Calm down, he didn't mean anything bad by it. I can take polyjuice, James.'

'Oh. Great! That makes things a lot easier. We just need to get some hair from the girls.'

'We're going to polyjuice into them?' Sirius asked. 'Isn't that a bit…'

'Same rules apply as when we polyjuice into Pete's cousin,' James said. 'No looking under your clothes. And no inappropriate touching of your borrowed body.'

'Yeah, still,' Sirius said. 'I don't feel right about polyjuicing into Marls. I think that would piss her off if she ever found out.'

'Alright,' James said. 'You can be Evans, I'll be Marlene, Pete can be Dorcas, and Remus can be Mary.'

'You know you can call her Lily, right?' Remus said. 'That's her name.'

'Not until she tells me I can,' James said.

Sirius laughed. 'You're going to be waiting a long time, mate.'

'As long as it takes.' James grinned. 'She'll come around, eventually.'

'Depends what you're planning for us to do when we get to their dorm,' Sirius said. 'If it's bad enough, she may never forgive you.'

'Well, tell me what you think of this,' James said, grinning wickedly and leaning towards them.